Once upon a time in a generic fantasy world ... only up to four wizards had the power to make a difference.
Magicka is a Hack And Slash game for the PC, at its roots in the Gauntlet gameplay we all know and love, but with plenty of quirks of its own. Up to four players each control a wizard and travel the monster-infested countrysides, guided by Vlad (who istotally not a vampire) and a variety of other Simlish-speaking people. Yeah, it's that kind of game.The main selling point of the gameplay lies within the magic system. Using eight basic elements (Water, Life, Shield, Cold, Lightning, Arcane, Earth and Fire) and two special elements (Ice and Steam, which are water + cold and water + fire, respectively), players craft and cast their spells at a moment's notice. For further customization, spells can be cast in a standard fashion, in a circle around the wizard, on the wizard's weapon, or on the wizard himself. There are also special spells called Magicks gained from books placed throughout the campaign that offer even more powerful abilities.Oh, and you don't have a Mana Meter. Cast what you want, as often as you want, provided that you can get the elements up fast enough.Out now, the first expansion: Magicka: Vietnam, on the justification that everyone else is jumping on the Vietnam bandwagon, so they might as well follow along too. Yes, really.A second expansion, The Stars are Left, was released on November 29, 2011, with content based off of (and, of course, spoofing) the works of HP Lovecraft and Minecraft.A third expansion, The Other Side of the Coin, was released on June 19, 2012. As the name implies, you play as an evilDraculaExpy on a mission to prevent the world's races from uniting against him.A fourth expansion, Dungeons and Daemons, was released on October 11, 2012.The fifth and last expansion, Dungeons and Gargoyles, was released on October 31, 2013.Two spinoffs are in the works: Magicka: Wizards of the Square Tablet (for iOS/Android/PC) and Magicka: Wizard Wars, a Multiplayer Online Battle Arenawith friendlyfire enabled.The book based on the game, ''Magicka: The Ninth Element - A Tale of Wizards'', was released on November 6-7, 2013Has an entire Shout Out page. An actual developer commentary version is freely available in Let's Play format courtesy of Total Biscuit. Not to be confused with Puella Magi Madoka Magica or the term The Elder Scrollsuses forMana.
Ambition Is Evil: Grimnir was initially interested in learning all Magic to create an era of peace, but his neverending lust for knowledge eventually twisted him into the monster he is today and led him to be Assatur's host.
Though it is implied that this was mostly the order's fault, who expelled and imprisoned him in spite of being the good guy.
Anti-Frustration Features: As of The Stars Are Left, Fairies will appear at checkpoints if you are playing in single player, and will revive you if you die.
While enemies will usually take all manner of approaches in trying to kill you, they will never, ever take notice of the Vortex spell, and will consistently march to their deaths in their attempts to get near you.
When they have the choice between going around a rock wall cast by a wizard and trying to smash trough the rock wall, they will generally try to smash through it which takes much, much longer.
Caster enemies occasionally seem to confuse their spells, hitting you with a healing spell and an ally with a fire ball. This is more prevalent with lower tier enemies such as goblin mages.
although that might not be artificial stupidity. It's possible to have a costume that makes you weak to healing, and yet absorb energy. As the A.I. doesn't alter to account for the costume, it would make sense that they're programed to take healing shots at you, but as the likelyhood of having healing weakness is low, it would make sense that damage has priority.
And the Daemons will in turn split into three Daemonlings.
Attack Reflector: Arcane beams are one of the more powerful and frequently used spells in the game. Too bad they can bounce completely off of shields while doing very little damage to the shield itself. Against some enemies later in the game that use shields and arcane beams, keeping this in mind is very important.
Shield is a basic element. By itself, it can create a dome, half-shield, or a personal force field. All three reflect beams and block a certain amount of damage, but personal shields reduce knockdown resistance. Shields were also adjusted in a later update to deteriorate a lot faster and no longer heal from healing mines (personal shields formerly absorbed all forms of healing), making maintaining a personal shield a lot more difficult.
Fortunately, they also adjusted the shield + rock and shield + ice spells in this same update to allow the player to move, meaning you can form rock or ice armor that blocks physical damage, but won't stop fire or deflect arcane.
To take it even further, ice barriers can be used offensively to great effect if used with arcane and lightning and cast from your weapon.
although don't let that get to you. Barriers do have their uses. Water barriers are the most useful personal shield to have because it prevents you from getting wet at all, keep you from being unable to use energy. Other shields are useful for other situations, but mostly the "armor" and water personal shield are still the most diversely useful.
Battle Interrupting Shout: Vlad intervenes in boss battles multiple times, and in one instance he stops you from killing a not-actually-evil boss by yelling "STOOOOP!"
Bilingual Bonus: The omnipresent simlish is sprinkled with more-or-less genuine words. Frequently, these are (hilariously misplaced) Swedish. A shining example would be the time when a troll bursts through the encampment gate, and the captain screams in shock; "By Baldur's dong!"
Shams: We already started the party and I'm afraid we're almost out of cheese...
Blown Across the Room: Explosive spells (and mines in general) tend to do this to anything standing nearby; it's possible to kill most enemies (with the exception of very huge ones) fairly easy via Ring Out just using mines. It also happens very easily to you if you happen to have a shield up.
Casting a spell with no elements chosen simply fires a blast of air that pushes smaller enemies around. Very useful for creating a bit of breathing room, and can even kill some enemies if they impact a wall or other solid object hard enough.
"I'd give you some gold, but this game doesn't seem to have a proper inventory system."
"Now if only I could get rid of this exclamation mark that's been following me around lately..."
Brick Joke: After you fall down a hole into the tutorial level, a fellow wizard tells you "the safe word is Banana!" The next time you play, you'll probably pause to skip the tutorial and discover that the skip button is indeed labeled "BANANA!"
Butt Monkey: Poor yellow. Bad things happen to him in the concept art (being frozen, caught in a tornado, etc.). Hell, there's an achievement for dying as him.
Button Mashing: When you get into panicked situations, it's easy to just start mashing the spell keys and Mouse 2 just to try to deal some sort of damage quickly. And instantly blow yourself and your teammates up without even scratching the enemy. There's a reason the developers call this game a Mage Suicide Simulator.
Camera Screw: Excessive usage of skills with high knockback (read: mines) will lead to this, because the camera attempts to center itself in between the up to four players; a player being knocked far enough away (but not dying from falling damage or from a cliff) can actually cause the camera to be centered on nothing, with none of the players visible at all.
Captain Obvious: The fairy following you provides cute but useless advice, such as "do something to complete the level!"
It is a viable tactic to seal one of your fellow wizards in a bottleneck with a bunch of Orcs.
Miscasting Magicks with wide areas of effect don't discern between friend and foe, so giggles and pain abound.
Convection Shmonvection: In one of the later chapters, you'll come across vast expanses of lava... which you can cool with your Frost spell and walk on.
Co-Op Multiplayer: Multiplayer mode can make the later levels quite a bit easier, since your offensive powers are multiplied and you can revive each other. However, since Friendly Fire Proof is averted, you will end up dying much more often than in singleplayer. As TotalBiscuit put it: "When the developers said this game had Co-Op, they were lying."
Depending on how brave you are, and if you have a wizard in the party that has the Wizard Hat DLC, have 1-4 of you queue up the Meteor Shower Magick and cast at once...and then run for your fragile, insignificant life or lives as the Random Number God rains fiery doom of its own accord.
The Thunderstorm spell is a non-DLC version of this, and equally if not more powerful. Thunderbolt (single) does this one at a time, with considerably more precision.
Revive is quick to cast, being Life + Lightning, and constant, cheap reviving is expect in multiplayer co-op. Slightly less so of the number of ways to die that also irretrievably remove equipment: Several very powerful items are irreplaceable without replaying entire levels.
There's even a later spell, Summon Phoenix, which automatically revives all fallen teammates (and drops a Phoenix in to deal fire damage). Same as above but with Fire added in.
Lampshaded in multiplayer:
Don't worry — dying is a part of the game! Just have your buddy revive you!
Easy Level Trick: Stage 6, where you can easily beat the smaller Daemons (and the first half of the boss) by knocking the Mooks off the floating islands.
Grimnir's abilities are all countered by the Nullify spell, making a hard boss fight trivial.
Jormungandr is easily killed by making him smash his head against rock spikes. (This also cancels any attacks from it)
Put up a shield as soon as you begin the fight against Khan, and he will charge into it, bounce off it, and die.
Eldritch Abomination: The final boss, Assatur, is a trans-dimensional being, which alone should qualify him for this trope, but Assatur is also another name for Hastur, a monster in the Cthulhu Mythos!
Elemental Absorption: depending on the robes that your wizard (or an enemy wizard) is wearing, or the type of element that an enemy is, getting hit by that element will result in being healed instead of damaged.
You can take spells and cast them on your melee weapon to enchant it. As with regular casting spells, you can put any combination on it that you want... including a heal spell. The plus side to charging a melee is that you can always have it on hand whenever you need it, since you'll start moving slower the more elements you have keyed up in a spell, which can give you a mobility advantage, and can prevent friendly fire with more controllable arcs. And if you charge the right spell to your sword...
Played straight with the "Healing Hands" of the Support Wizard.
Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors: A core part of the gameplay, especially on co-op. Although in this case, it's just as much about avoiding damaging yourself as it is getting the right combo against the enemy.
The "Crash To Desktop", "Meteor Shower" and "Thunder Storm" spells are rarely used simply because it's hilariously easy to kill yourself and/or your teammates with them, mostly due to their extremely random targeting system.
A variant, sometimes you will find boxes of dynamite lying around that you can blow up.
Goblin bombers also act as this. Kill one with a spell that contains fire, and you'll detonate its bomb satchel, causing around 2,000 damage to everything around it.
Exponential Potential: You don't know the half of it! You're able to use five of the eight elements in each spell, in almost any combination, as well as the choice of whether to cast that spell you just made in front of you, around you, on yourself, or on your melee weapon. The only thing you can't do is use opposite elements in one spell, such as Earth/Lightning, Fire/Cold, and Arcane/Life. Working together with other players opens up even more options! However, you still can't combine opposing elements. Trying to do so anyway will cause hilarity and possibly a Total Party Kill to ensue.
The Faceless: As you can see from the box art, the four playable mages always have their faces concealed in shadow.
Fighting Your Friend: A surprising number of them, typicaly due to the wizards' non-existent social skills.
Final Boss Preview: The fight with Grimnir halfway through the game, which you cannot win. Also a Final Exam Boss due to his spells being either carbon copies of yours, or countered by a spell in your repitoire. Including Nullify.
Flaming Sword: The Blade of Surt, and really any fire element enchanted weapon.
For Massive Damage: Simply put, there's lots of ways to do massive amounts of damage to enemies. And teammates.
An arcane beam with steam and electricity will create one of the most devastating combos in the gamenote (water + electricity = enemy paralyzed and taking damage at an astounding rate, and the arcane both makes it an infinite-range, sustainable beam and causes an Area of Effect explosion upon enemy death; more specifically, 2x Steam + 2x Lightning + Arcane is the most damaging ranged attack). The sequence is QFQFSAA..
Lightning bolt, whilst only working outdoors, does 5,000 damage a pop (10k if the enemy is wet) and sends nearby enemies flying. Oh, and both Lightning Bolt and a standard Steam Beam use the exact same formula, just cast different ways.
Then there's the "lightsaber" or "deathblade" enchantment: take the lightning bolt formula, add a Steam to it, then charge it to your melee weapon. You will now deal around 2.8k damage to anything that stands in your way, more or less depending on resistances and if the target is wet. Anything that survives will be soaked, allowing you to follow up with double-damage lightning or frost to stop them in their tracks and give you time to follow up with something else. One massive exploitable for this enchantment is to freeze your target (soak, then frost), then unleash your melee for triple damage. It's possible to One-Hit Kill lots of enemies this way. Including bosses.
The Great Iceball (Earth + 4x Ice) fully charged hits for roughly 10,000 damage.
Flunky Boss: The wizard at the end of Chapter Four, The Aristocrats.
Foreshadowing: Vlad sounds both surprised and angry to see the wizards in chapter 4, which is odd since he was the one to send the wizards there in the first place. The reason is that in chapter 9, the wizards are sent back in time and fight Vlad. Vlad responds to this by banishing them to Niflheim. He's surprised to see the wizards are alive and in Havindr.
Fragile Speedster: The Rogue Robe from the Party Robes DLC. The player moves like a ninja straight out of Naruto, runs at a pace slightly slower than a normal wizard with Haste, uses a crossbow with poisoned arrows in lieu of a sword, teleports (backwards only) using Smoke Bombs to evade attacks, and is twice as squishy as any other Robe in the game. Case in point, using 1 Fire element to set yourself ablaze usually takes about 1/3 of your hit points in the average set of Robes. In the Rogue robe, the flames will quickly kill you before they run out.
Game-Breaking Bug: Given how buggy the game is (even after multiple patches), there are multiple ways of causing the game to crash or become unplayable.
For example, trying to cast Corporealize on Assatur in Chapter 6 can cause a crash.
One bug that has stuck around, though it is more of a design flaw: You are unable to pass the first tutorial while wearing the Tron robes. Why? Well, the first thing you have to do is cast Life on yourself, but the Tron robes are immune to the Life element... fortunately you can skip the tutorial, but if this is your first time playing, you might not have wanted to. note You can pass that part of the tutorial by simply cutting the rope with your ring. The tutorial advances normally past that. But, unless you already knew this...
You also can't shoot the rope, so if you're using one of the gun-equipped classes at the start...
Healing Hands: Aside from use of the Life element, this is invoked as the weapon of the Support Robe from the Party Robes DLC.
Healing Shiv: All heals are this to a degree, since healing is basically attacking someone with the life element. You can make healing beams, healing weapons, even explosive healing landmines.
Hellfire: Grease-fires, like all fire, apply continuous damage in the form of burning. However, a grease-fire's burn actually gets stronger the longer the poor schmuck caught in it burns! And just like in real life, it can't be put out with water.
Special mention goes to Summon Death, which summons The Grim Reaper to the battlefield to instantly kill the unit with the lowest percentage health. Be careful with using this against bosses since some of them don't count as units which means that he will target you!
Crash to Desktop, which summons a blue screen of death to instant kill a random creature on screen that has less than 10000 maximum HP. More often than not, this is you. Especially annoying in multiplayer since a wizard who dies from this takes all his items with him.
Hold the Line: Towards the end of Chapter 4 you come across a locked door that allied NPCs are attempting to blow open with boxes of dynamite. You can fight off waves of enemies while waiting for the unnecessarily long fuse to burn, but it's a lot quicker to just set the dynamite off directly with a fire spell.
Incredibly Lame Pun: In-universe. A wizard in the starting area will give you the useful advice to not "dabble withe electricity" when wet. Then, he continues with this little gem:
"HOW SHOCKING! Hahaha... Yes, I know, that was terrible."
Infernal Retaliation: Most of the time, enemies will continue to attack you even when on fire, unless their panic trigger is hit (meaning they take a certain amount of damage per tick from fire damage), until they either succumb to the flames or put themselves out.
Intangible Man: Daemons are extraplanar beings that are "phased out" until they materialize to attack. They are immune to damage when they are like this.
Interface Spoiler: The achievement names, some of which give away the names of bosses.
"Not nearly as broken as they have been. note Apparently, Beastmen formerly rocketed into the air after a short jump, and the only thing visible is the spear as they crash down upon players.
Kaizo Trap: Possibly unintentional, but if a solo player kills the final boss while its Vortex magick is active, the victorious wizard will run right into it for the final cutscene, killing the player instantly.
Kill 'em All: Played for Laughs. At the end of the game, all the wizards fall to their deaths, because they don't have the necessary spell to escape the final boss's collapsing lair, and they can't ask Vlad to teleport them away because they're Heroic Mutes!
By itself, fire isn't all that powerful, since the damage taken from afterburn is rather negligible. However, if combined with the Grease and/or Conflagration Magicks, it's possible to inflict damage in the hundreds or thousands per tick by keeping enemies sitting in the flames for long enough.
The Napalm Magick from the Vietnam expansion has a similar effect as these spell combos: wizards unfortunate enough to be caught in the friendly fire die within seconds. note Ok, most wizards die within seconds in this game due to friendly fire. But they die even faster from just standing in the Napalm-fire.
Kill It with Water: Water itself isn't too effective, but it can serve to knock back small- to medium-sized enemies (a la riot hose) and makes them more vulnerable to Lightning and Cold.
It should also be noted that the water AoE has the highest knockback of the single element AoE, allowing you to use physics to kill enemies near you, as well as being a good space clearer.
Kleptomaniac Hero: Subverted in Chapter 4, where every door that you try to go through (save the ones that are already open) is locked. When you do try to open it, the game will give varying messages about how the door is locked.
Land Mine Goes Click: You can create fields of elementally-charged mines (even ones that heal you!). And yes, they do click when stepped on.
Lethal Joke Element: Steam by itself is a very weak spray, so new players will probably completely forget about it and continue their Lightning+Arcane+Fire spam. However, coupled with Lightning, you get a spray weapon that makes the enemies wet and electrocutes them. Furthermore, if you couple it with both Arcane and Lightning, you get a beam that wets enemies, electrocutes them and makes them explode when they die. Also usually more useful than water to set targets up for freezing, as the lack of knockback leaves them clustered to follow up with cold.
The Knife of Counter-Striking doesn't seem all that impressive, since it's a weak weapon and its only special effect is a permanent version of the easy-to-cast Haste magick...until you realize it stacks with Haste, and therefore allows you to run ridiculously fast. It's by far the best melee weapon in the game, entirely because it makes you a Fragile Speedster instead of a Fragile Slowpoke.
Lightning Bruiser: The Samurai Robe. Their initial sword, the Yawarakai-te, is much faster and stronger than other starting weapons. That rope in the tutorial that takes normally 3 hits to cut? Try one.
Loading Screen: Tip: Did you know that tips are displayed on the loading screen?
Ludicrous Gibs: Arcane beams tend to make a mess out of what they're pointed at quickly. And, yes, enemies exploding into meaty chunks do cause splash damage.
Magic A isMagicka: The Rule of Opposites means that if you cast the wrong (or right) spell, you're likely to cause a massive explosion that will kill you and whatever you were targeting. Although for some reason it's actually possible to combine water and lightning together when you're casting, likely a developer oversight.
Magical Defibrillator: While there are no literal defibrillators in the game, keep in mind that the Revive spell is created by combining Life and Lightning.
Man on Fire: Yes, you can set yourself on fire by keying up a Fire spell and self-casting. Most of the time this has no practical applications besides drying yourself off (for the first cast only), and in some cases you'll lose control of your wizard as he runs amok in random circles while on fire. It does have the useful effect of keeping enemies like Yetis from picking you up. They can't grab you if you're on fire.
The Tank Robe from the Party Robes DLC. The player's movement speed is decreased significantly because of their armor (casting Haste on yourself barely allows you to move at running speed for normal Robes). Melee attacks with the initial weapon are slow and weak (it takes 6 hits to cut a rope in the tutorial, where the normal Robes take 3). However, the Tank can knock down foes by walking near them and has a glowing resistance aura to all forms of damage.
The Zombie Robe gives the Wizard a lot of extra health at the cost of moving about as fast as a tortoise lugging a lead weight.
Originally, the Arcane+Steam+Lightning spell combo produced a super-deadly spell of death which so effortlessly wiped out enemies that many players, especially speedrunners, rarely used anything else. It is still this, more or less, but some enemies (like armored goblins) were changed to resist most of its damage, forcing you to use different spells on them.
Personal shields have also been nerfed; originally, they blocked all damage entirely, and keeping them up was simply a matter of occasionally self-casting heal, stepping on healing mines, or even grabbing a staff of life to have the shield keep itself at full strength. They now drain out after a few seconds, making them much less protective.
New Game+: Selecting your beaten save file will allow you to play from the beginning with all the Magicks that you learned up to that point, including Vortex (an ultra-deadly black-hole spell used by the final boss). The new game will also spawn more monsters than your first time through, so you get to experiment with lots of new ways to massacre them.
Nintendo Hard: The prologue and first level are just a warm-up. You'll be dying quite a number of times after that! This mainly applies to solo play, since in multiplayer you can be revived easily; then again, you can also be team-killed just as easily.
Obvious Beta: As much fun as it is, its hard not to admit that it's definitely pretty rough around the edges, though its slowly getting better via patches. Hell, after the first set of major fixes, the devs released the Mea Culpa DLC for free as an official apology for the game's buggy release. It included a staff that summoned a swarm of bugs.
The earliest One-Hit Kill you can experience from a Mook are the bombs thrown by the bomber goblins. Let one explode you without a shield on? Bye bye.
Death can kill anything in one hit. Including Bosses.
Yetis will kill players instantly if they manage to stuff one in their mouth, a Shout Out to SkiFree. Cave trolls can do the same, but slow enough for the player to escape.
Lightning bolts are almost always instant death - there's an achievement for getting hit by one and not dying from it.
The Crash to Desktop spell. It only targets enemies below 10,000 HP, but it will blue-screen anything that it can target, literally. Including the caster.
The sword, Gram, has an ability called "Dragon Slayer". It's obtained fairly early in the game as a secret, and seems a pretty crappy weapon with no other abilities... Until you realize that In Chapter 11, the boss is Fafnir, a dragon. Killing Fafnir with Gram is a Steam achievement which used to be quite hard to get, due the extreme length of time between getting Gram and slaying the boss; however, with the introduction of a patch that allows you to replay chapters, acquiring the sword and taking it to the fight is now significantly easier.
A pair of weapons of this description show up in the form of the Cursed Blade and Morgul Blade, as well as a "staff", the Scythe of Malevolence. It's easy to assume it's just a special effect tacked onto a plain weapon, but it turns out, it's actually a legit element type. Try summoning hordes of elementals and hitting them with your poisoned sword! It's fun!
The Party Robes DLC adds the Rogue Robe's crossbow, which rapidly fires poisoned arrows.
Pre-Order Bonus: Not a strict case since the game was released on January 25, but people who bought the game before January 31 got a special hatted wizard model, start the first chapter with slightly better equipment, and Meteor Shower, a special Magick that drops meteors on random parts of the screen. The Wizard Hat DLC was later made purchaseable, so now everybody can enjoy mashing their teams with meteors.
Purposefully Overpowered: Vortex. You get it by beating the final boss so you can only use it in Challenge or New Game+, but for good reason: it sucks in and instantly kills anything that wanders close enough to it, and it gets bigger as it sucks in more things. Dealing with massive waves of enemies can often be solved simply by dropping a Vortex or two. Taken to ridiculous levelshere. Yes, that number goes to over one hundred billion damage.
The first one you'll encounter is the Chapter 2 boss Jormungand, who gives you a very small window of opportunity to attack it. You defeat it by planting earth spikes on the floor, so it smashes its head into them when it pops out.
Ray Gun: The Frontier Robe's weapon, the Type 2 Phaser.
Ring Out Boss: The first part of the fight against Grimnir has you go into his mind and face off against several minibosses while on floating islands. For easy wins against many of them, charge up a water spell and release it in an area burst, knocking the otherwise-tough opponents into the void. (Note that the enemy is also able to use this on you)
Rule of Funny: The only reason why there's an M60 machine gun, not to mention a fridge in an otherwise medieval fantasy game. Word Of God says this is the reason for other things such as wooden horses and cardboard-cutout sheep, aside from animator lazyness.
See the Rule of Funny entry above; there are also some electrical generators in the Academy and in the Járn Mines, which you can jump-start by casting lightning at them.
Also, the first expansion, Magicka: Vietnam, gives you all manner of guns for your wizard to use.
Self-Deprecating Humor: The release of the game was notoriously buggy, but was made up for by the dev team releasing new patches daily for nearly two weeks. This is lampshaded in one of the first (free) content patches, which added the "Crash to Desktop" Magicka and the "Mea Culpa" robe set to the game: the robe looks like a patchwork quilt, and the default items for that wizard were a bug staff that has the Active ability "Summon Bugs" and a broken sword. That's right, the wizard's buggy, patched, and broken.
See Ascended Glitch. This is actually Dummied Out as well, because the developers had originally intended to allow players to get Teleport that early; the game has no "breakable" areas where the ability to teleport early causes problems.
Shows Damage: Your wizard's robe becomes increasingly tattered depending on how much damage you've taken.
Side Quest: Exactly one. Completing it rewards an achievement.
Socialization Bonus: Depends on how well/jerkish your partners play. If you died in solo mode, you were defeated (until fairies were added in The Stars Are Left). If there were two or more players, they could easily revive each other as long as one was alive.
Spam Attack: No mana bar. No cooldowns. You can cast any spells you want as quickly as you can key them in. It's a perfectly viable strategy to repeatedly mash in the recipe for a weak attack spell, producing a line, cone, or circle of rapid death.
Speaking Simlish: Doubles as a bilingual bonus for those who know Swedish, even though the language used is not proper Swedish but rather some kind of Swedish-English-faux-Old-Norse linguistic abomination, sort of like Swedish Chef Swedish. Enough words are similar for it to be hilarious, though.
Spell Blade: Taken Up to Eleven: you can bind entire spells to your sword, though some combinations of elements are much less useful than others, especially when just casting the spell has more or less the same result. A good way to make Healing Shivs and Flaming Swords though.
Unsurprisingly, the wizards are quite fragile. As noted in the article above from Rock Paper Shotgun:
You're a wizard, not a Jedi. Idiot.
Incidentally, if you cast a personal shield, Haste, and the "lightsaber" weapon enchantment (or just grab the Arcane Saber from Chapter 11), you can run around and cut through things like a Jedi. Just don't expect it to work for very long, or against certain enemies. And you'd probably be more effective just using spells anyways.
Thoroughly averted with the Space Marine robe, which gives you a massive health boost, gives you resistance to everything, and unlike the Zombie and Tank robes, doesn't even lower your speed!
However, they nerfed that slightly in that you are immune to healing spells (you recover 24HP over time), and a massive weakness to Arcane and Lightning, however combining the robe with the Aristo-staff (resistance to all elements) helps alleviate that somewhat.
Unfortunately, this is averted with enemy spellcasters. These guys have more health than other enemies of their kind, making them quite a pain to defeat if they come in numbers.
A literal example: You can encase yourself and your surroundings in rock or ice (and add giant glowing runes if you prefer), allowing you a brief respite to charge up a devastating area attack when mobbed by enemies. The rock/ice armor extends your HP considerably, but slows you down to a crawl.
The Tank Robes bear special mention as well. Tanks move very slowly (to the point where casting Haste still makes you move more slowly than normal walking speed) and their spells have reduced effectiveness, but they have twice the amount of HP as a normal wizard, and wear armor that significantly reduces the effectiveness of enemy projectiles (rock, ice, bullets, RPG rounds). Needless to say, casting rock armor and getting the Staff of War can make you a very hard target to kill.
Lampshaded in the tutorial. Sure enough, you need to make ice bridges across water with the Cold element. Try not to slide off as you're walking across before they thaw out.
It's also a potential comedy gold mine when you have multiple wizards trying to cross the same ice bridge, all freezing each other then self-casting fire spells to thaw themselves, with the inevitable eventuality that someone accidentally tosses a fireball and collapses the bridge, instantly drowning the whole party. note The easy way: an easy counter is using personal shields with cold on them, and launching iceballs(rock+ice) forward. It should give you solid ground while avoiding being hit yourself. Another way is spamming Area-of-Effect Cold spells, which instantly freezes a nice platform around you.
Summon Death, which summonsDeath, should probably be one of these but isn't: you can trick Death into hitting bosses with his attack when he comes for you.
Thunder Storm, though, is. You'd think that Lightning Bolt, en masse, combined with Rain would be devastating against anything you're fighting against... but the lightning bolts land on random parts of the screen...and can hit you and your teammates. There's also its DLC equivalent, Meteor Shower. Of course, they become a lot less useless when you realise you can cast a very simple spell to make yourself immune to fire and/or lightning elements...
Nullify seems pretty useless (it mostly dispels status effects on the caster and some Magicks) but is exceptionally useful versus Grimnír; it dispels the Tornadoes he summons, can sometimes stop Conflagration blasts, eliminates the Shield he puts up, and last but not least, destroys his Mirror Images, and can be cast incredibly quickly as it requires only two elements and has a very short windup (unlike, say, Meteor Storm or Thunder Storm). On the flipside it'll wipe out all of the same effects cast by you or your teammates.
Time Travel: How the mages eventually "level-grinded" enough to defeat the final boss.
With Friends Like These...: The word "friends" is always in quotation marks, because while you may be friendly to them, that doesn't stop you from accidentally (or "accidentally") blowing your "friends" up.
With My Hands Tied: Grimnir spends the entire fight casting magic without having ever broken his bonds. He still manages to be a difficult battle despite this.
Writing Around Trademarks: The DLC The Stars are Left was originally named The Stars are Right. After learning that the name was already being used, the creators changed it a mere 12 hours prior to its announcement.