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Video Game: Two Worlds

"Press X To Arm Yourselve."
—The Tutorial

Verily, thou has cometh into this page to read about the video game Two Worlds.

Two Worlds doest be a Role-Playing Game released for PC and Xbox 360 in 2006. The game hast been widely noted for being an unintentionally hilarious mess, mainly due to goofy dialogue, narmtastic voice acting, various gameplay and graphical problems (particularly on the 360 version), and clichéd writing. Its Xbox 360 release didst receive poor to average reviews and is generally considered to be one of the worst RPG ports on the system. The PC release didst gaineth a slightly better reception, and bug fixes improved its level of playability, but the problems with the voice acting and writing still remaineth.

Forsooth, thou doest playeth as a mercenary in the fantasy world of Antaloor. At the beginning of the game, thy sister is kidnapped by a cult that doest wisheth to summon Aziraal, the evil god of the Orcs. The cult doest blackmail you in hopes that mayhap thou shalt help them achieve this foul deed.

....

Okay, enough of that.

Like its obvious inspiration, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Two Worlds drops the player into a huge landscape full of villages, dungeons, side-quests, and enemies with a set objective that is ultimately optional. Emphasis is on exploring the world of Antaloor and developing your character.

Contrary to popular opinion the game was not developed by Southpeak but by the Polish studio Reality Pump.

The sequel released in 2010, Two Worlds II, is an entirely different animal. Unlike the first game, of which opinions ranged from it being unplayably terrible (at least on the Xbox 360) to decently fun, the sequel is generally accepted as being average at worst and very good at best. Besides a greatly expanded world with much less bugs and actual animations, it notably featured a completely separate co-op/multiplayer campaign, multiplayer duels, a widely praised magic system, and even a village simulator. Cue the inevitable cries of I Liked It Better When It Sucked.


This series provides general examples of:

  • Always Chaotic Evil: Orcs (subverted in the second game), Groms and other humanoid mooks.
  • Artifact Title: Before the game was even released, in fact. The website for the original games has an outdated synopsis that challenges you to choose which of the Two Worlds you will save. This has nothing to do with the released game or its sequel.
  • Automaton Horses: Averted within the limits of the game mechanics in both parts.
  • Black and Gray Morality: Aziraal and its minions are simply evil, but the "good" human nation has its fair share of corruption and internal conflict.
  • Blow You Away: Air magic is used in the game and is combined with lightning magic, i.e. Shock and Awe
  • Bond One-Liner: The Hero says them at random after killing enemies. Very frequently.
  • Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": The Groms are just your staple goblins. In the Part One their totem poles are even called Goblin Totems. Likewise, the Necris, that is nothing but a skeleton.
  • Constructed World
  • Dem Bones: Called a "Necris" here.
  • Dummied Out:
    • In the first game's instruction book there are pictures which suggest there were going to be more equipment, also with using creat codes, you can find things in the game engine not in the final game.
      • Also in the first game: An entire city that is shown on the map but is inaccessible due to the massive gate between it and the rest of the world.
    • In the second game, a keen explorer will find many tucked-away corners of the Wide Open Sandbox to be empty or conspicuously locked. For example, in an out-of-the-way cave on New Ashos, there are no enemies and only minor potions to loot, while there is an entire island nearby New Ashos accessible by sailing and containing empty cages guarded by enemies. The Site of Fire in Erimos is a location still in the game despite only being accessible to those who own the Royal Edition, and similarly it seems some locations are cut of content unless the Pirate DLC is installed.
  • Dishing Out Dirt: One of the schools of magic.
  • Evil Is Hammy: Aziraal, Sordahon, and Gandohar just can't resist Chewing the Scenery.
  • Fire and Brimstone Hell: Not shown, but implied by the fact that fire-magic can literally summon creatures from Hell—fire-themed creatures.
  • Dual Wielding
  • From Bad to Worse: Regardless of the ending you picked in the first game, it only got worse by the second.
  • Götterdämmerung: The ancient war between Aziraal and the other gods left the world in a rather sorry state.
  • Heroic Fantasy
  • Lampshade Hanging: There's no way to sleep in TW 2; this is lampshaded when someone, giving you a quest involving bedsore cream, adds, "...but who sleeps anymore?"
  • Left-Justified Fantasy Map
    • Averted in TW 2.
  • Lost Technology: The elven Portal Network.
  • Making a Splash: Water magic exists as a school, but it's actually just ice magic.
  • Medieval European Fantasy
  • Ms. Fanservice: Kyra, which is really weird because she is your character's sister. The second game adds Dar Fa, the very Stripperiffic Cassara, and the (purposefully) seductive Reesa.
  • Necromancy
  • Non-Indicative Title: Two Worlds? There's Antaloor and... that's it. It might refer to the divide between the human and orc civilizations in the first game, but that doesn't end up being that important to the plot in the long run.
  • Obviously Evil: The Orcs are obviously evil due to being, well, Orcs. Their human allies are obviously evil due to their eerie voices and face-concealing masks. The Orc part is subverted in the second game.
  • Our Demons Are Different
  • Our Dragons Are Different: These are Western Dragons, played very straight.
  • Our Dwarves Are All the Same
  • Our Elves Are Better: They are the Precursors.
  • Our Orcs Are Different: Tolkien Orcs in the first game, with hints of Proud Warrior Race Guys that become their defining characteristic in the second game.
  • Playing with Fire: One of the schools of magic.
  • Pinball Spinoff: There is a "Two Worlds" table included in the Dream Pinball 3D collection.
  • Portal Network: The elves left one behind when they fled Antaloor, but the humans who then settled there did not know how to use it. A series of side-quests involves you helping a researcher reactivate the Portal Network. Completing said side-quest is its own reward, since you can then use it yourself.
  • Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: The Hero will sometimes let one loose when enemies appear.
    • "Reminds me of my in-laws."
    • "Interesting guests!"
  • Precursors: The elves.
  • Scaled Up
  • Scenery Porn
  • Sealed Evil in a Tomb: Aziraal
  • Self-Deprecation: Sordahan's Journey, a developer-produced machinima.
  • Shoulders of Doom: Even on lowly leather armor.
  • Standard Fantasy Setting
  • The Undead
  • Warp Whistle
  • Wide Open Sandbox: Especially in game two. There are freakin' oceans you can cross by boat. The sequel really makes you feel that you're in a vast world, rather than just a small part of it. For better or worse, however, certain areas are barred off or completely empty as part of the Royal Edition, Pirates DLC, or the multiplayer sections.
  • Wutai:
    • Which has European architecture and is inhabited by black people.
    • And then there is that tavern in New Ashos, with the drunkards called Macek, Jarek and so on. Might be an Easter Egg from the Polish team of developers, though.
  • Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: And butchered modern English. None of the peasants can decide how to pronounce the names of their towns, no one told them how, and some of them don't even know how to pronounce real words.
    Peasant: "They said they wanted to buy my corral (pronounced "coral") for one piece of gold. I told them to stick it where the sun never shines."
    • Parodied in the sequel where there is one person who speaks Olde Timey, and the hero basically walks away saying he has better things to do than figure out what he's saying.


The first game provides examples of:

  • Armor Is Useless: Each piece of armor provides a different amount of protection against slashing, piercing, and bludgeoning damage. The Protect from Physical Damage enchantment provides protection against ALL THREE damage types. By constantly revisiting the magic vendor until he's selling some decent rings, robes, or even quivers with this enchantment, you can end up with a character that can wear mage's robes or even run around naked, and still have equal or better protection as a similarly leveled piece of armor, without all the armor's weight weighing down your inventory.
  • Beef Gate: Enemies become progressively more powerful the further you get from the starting village, so if you try to explore in the wrong direction too early on you'll quickly find yourself being overwhelmed by enemies that are way out of your league.
  • Dismantled MacGuffin: The key to Aziraal's tomb, which is split into five pieces scattered across the kingdom.
  • Dragon with an Agenda: Gandohar in the first game. subverted when it turns out he was really the Master of the apparent Big Bad all along.
  • Follow the Leader: "What you say? The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion made lots of money? Well we'd better get to work making something just like it! Except it will definitely be much better!"
  • Four Point Scale: Played straight with the usual big-name sites and publications, who gave it a 7 out of 10, but averted with pretty much everyone else, who gave it a 2.
  • Guide Dang It: The "tutorial" lasts for less than 1 minute and pretty much only covers how to open doors, draw your sword, and swing it around. Everything else you have to figure out on your own. Some non-intuitive mechanics that bear mentioning are the fact that same items (i.e. 2 short swords or 2 Grom shields) can be combined to create a more powerful version, how magic works (you create spells by stacking spell cards and booster cards), and the faction you can junction magic gems to your weapons to add elemental damage to them.
  • Hatedom: One has arisen due mostly to the overblown self-image of the folks at Southpeak Studios. On the other hand, most people just find think the first game is too funny to actually hate.
  • Katanas Are Just Better: Katanas and other Eastern-style swords are among the most powerful 2-handed swords in the game. You don't start finding them until you're near endgame character levels (about 35-40+).
  • Lord British Postulate: It's possible, by exploiting certain aspects of the combat engine (or, in the unpatched version of the game, simply not starting the main quest until you've grinded your way to reaching endgame character level), to actually kill Gandohar at the beginning of the main quest (this is akin to starting off the Lord of the Rings by having Frodo kill Gandalf right off the bat). Reportedly, the game treats this as though you've beaten the final boss normally, even giving you the achievement for it.
  • The Man Behind the Man: For most of the game, Reist Tungard is presented as the Big Bad and the leader of the secret organization attempting to revive Aziraal. It turns out he's just The Dragon to Gandohar, who spent most of the game pretending to be an Affably Evil Noble Demon mercenary in Reist's employ to manipulate the player.
  • Minus World: The interior of Eikronas, the largest of the islands, is supposed to be inaccessible. It's blocked off by steep cliffs and, should you manage to make your ways onto those, a layer of invisible walls that teleport you back to the shoreline. There is, nevertheless, a gap in those that allows the player to slip through and explore the mostly barren landscape beyond and even make their way to the swampy area in the middle before being transported there in the proper course of the story.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The main quest line in both parts. It leads basically to unleashing the real Big Bad into the world. Not that the hero had much choice in Part One. In Part Two he just doesn't know the hidden agenda of the Prophet.
  • One-Winged Angel: Reist Tungard transforms into a massive demon for the second-to-last boss fight.
  • Only a Flesh Wound: In those almost exact words. Quoth Unskippable: "This is no time to quote Monty Python!"
  • The Smurfette Principle: You sister is apparently the only female on the planet. The (always male) characters do sometimes mention their wives or daughters, but none are to be found in the entire game. This is likely because, since the player can only be male, the programmers never bothered to model any female versions of the clothing sets as that would just use up more time and resources. As a result, there are no female NPC models besides the unique model for your sister. The second game is noticeably better about this, with female NPCs and a number of female major characters.
  • Unwinnable by Mistake: Many spawn points are located just outside towns. It's very easy for the soldiers - at the start of the game, strong enough to pretty much One-Hit KO you - to chase you until they're standing over the spawn point, and simply kill you over and over and over again.
  • What Could Have Been: Almost everything that was said prior to the release of the game. You can go online — sort of. You can customize your character — but it won't matter, because he looks the same anyway. You can play a female character — online. And there's only one world. Note that most of these features are in the second game.

The second game provides examples of:

  • Aborted Arc: TW2 seems to suffer heavily from this. The story goes on nicely until you finally make it out of the Goddamn Swamp, then you have to head out for the Big Bad's fortress only to end up being handed a Twist Ending the size of the castle you're infiltrating. It seems the game was originally planned to be significantly larger but the developers had to shorten it due to time and money constraints.
    • The first chapter is about recruiting a rebellion and building a massive army using the same mysterious Verita that Gandohar uses. This army is never heard from again, except in the form of a hidden quest wherein you slaughter the very same golems in the Verita Caves to apparently save the miners. This has no effect on the plot, is not hinted at unless you re-enter the caves sometime after the reveal of the golems. In gameplay terms, the golems are even overpowered compared to the rest of the enemies in the game and the weapons they drop require a staggering level 56 to wield when the game is completed at around level 46, hinting that they were slipped in as an afterthought.
    • Of course, What Could Have Been ensues.
  • Action Girl: Dar Pha and Reesa in Part Two.
  • Anvil on Head: Literally, in the sequel: the numerous schools of magic allow you to concoct and store potentially thousands of different spells - including ones that will rain dozens of huge anvils on the enemies' heads. Seen here.
  • Beauty Equals Goodness: Going with Dark Is Not Evil. [[Nalia]] is partly shunned by the villagers as a witch because of her wicked appearance. If you follow Nalia's side to the end, she will eventually return to her former beautiful appearance.
  • Boss Corridor: The Final Boss of the game, with lots and lots of potions along the walls.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Gandohar in the second game has been taking multiples levels in this, as opposed to how he was almost Affably Evil in the first game.
  • Continuity Lockout: There is little to no in-game information about who's who and who stands for what in the Part Two. Even the manual provides only a very brief and vague synopsis. On the other hand, the vast overwhelming conflict of Orcs versus Humans is pretty much shelfed in the background as the story explains it
  • Darker and Edgier: The plot of the second is somewhat darker than the first, which was fairly lighthearted by contrast.
  • Dark Is Not Evil: In the third chapter, the single surviving town in the swamp is threatened by a witch who follows The Undead wherever it goes. When you later meet the witch and find her decrepit form, she outright saves you from the undead with a blast of green energy, and hints that she is not the evil they were looking to kill.
  • Deadpan Snarker: In the sequel, the main character, very much so, albeit it's a cynical snarky.
  • Everything's Better with Dinosaurs: Instead of the asian-themed monsters you might expect, the second game's wutai island inexplicably has velociraptors roaming the forests.
  • Flunky Boss: The second game's final boss summons increasing numbers of minions several times during the fight.
  • For Massive Damage: The Humbling Blow skill from the second game knocks opponents down; if you then follow up with a standard attack while they're lying on the ground, you instakill them automatically, potentially dealing tens of thousands of hitpoints worth of damage in a single blow.
  • Happy Ending Override: The original Two Worlds ends on a fairly conclusive note, with no real loose plot threads. In the second game, it turns out the Big Bad is still alive and you and your sister are his prisoners, almost as though the final battle of the first game never happened.
  • Invisible Wall: in spite of being a Wide Open Sandbox, TW 2 has its fair share of them. Sometimes it's justified by the plot, but most of the times you'll be just teleported back if you manage to set foot in a location you weren't meant to (i.e. the entire island of Elkronas outside of two areas, since the rest of the island is devoted to multiplayer adventures).
  • Kick Them While They Are Down: The second game allows you to learn a skill that enables you to kick your opponents in the face, then stab them in the gut them while they're splayed helpleslly on their back.
  • Mugging the Monster: One character is revealed to have accepted a curse, out of love, that will afflict anyone she sleeps with except her husband. She hires you to discreetly remove what remains of a gang of rapists outside town.
  • Omnicidal Maniac: In the first game, Aziraal's nature was left ambiguous, with several people making the credible argument that he was actually part of the necessary Balance Between Good and Evil, and the world may even need him to fight the Taint. In the second game, it turns out Aziraal was a straight-up God of Evil all along, who turns out to be perfectly fine with just letting the Taint wipe out the rest of the world, so he can rebuild it in his image afterwards.
  • One-Winged Angel: The Final Boss of TW2 transforms into a dragon before the final fight begins.
  • Optional Sexual Encounter: Depending on certain choices in the Hatmandor questline, one with Reesa.
  • Playable Epilogue: After the credits. Really more of a pass to explore the open world than an epilogue despite being titled as such, as the player is able free-roam and complete any remaining quests.
  • Puzzle Boss: The final boss can't really be hurt by conventional weapons because of flight (melee is obviously a bad idea, and ranged attacks require fast projectile speed to catch up to it except when its stopped to use one of its attacks), leaving the use of convenient ballista the primary form of damage. In fact, the first phase of the boss can't even be damaged except by using the ballistas, leading to some Trial-and-Error Gameplay since they aren't explicitly pointed out and a player may flail about until he realizes their existence.
  • Save Game Limits: You can save at any time in TW2... except during the final boss battle.
  • Shout-Out: In the sequel, there's tons.
    • "Are you a God?" "No." "Then DIE." "I'd like to change my answer."
    • There's an entire questline that is a shoutout/homage to Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, complete with the holy grail being your reward.
      • And during the quest, you also meet the Black Knight, who speaks, word for word, the same lines that he did to King Arthur. This ends with the protagonist saying "Dear God, I hope this doesn't mean a lawsuit."
    • There's another sidequest that involves getting rid of the ghosts of some annoying imperial toll collectors...who happen to be medieval Expies of the Marx Bros. It also contains mild Ghostbuster references - the Groucho Expy says "If you don't pay the toll, you can't cross the stream" (to which your character replies "What stream?" - the area you're in is almost bone dry), and when you talk to them before enacting your plan to exorcise them (trick them into following you into a nearby room with a mirror so that they look into it, realize they're dead and pass on), they refer to themselves as the Scoleri brothers, after the ghostly gangster brothers from Ghostbusters 2.
    • When confronted by the ghost of a formerly defeated foe, you make a comment to the effect of "I thought I'd try cutting off your head, see if that works."
    • Valarin, the captain of the guard in Hatmandor, has Narsil mounted on his office wall.
    • All work and no play makes Gorlag a dull boy.
    • The final quest is called whatever it takes
    • One of the quests you can do is called Drakonai park, it requires you to kill a group of raptors on an island.
    • One quest is called Magic The Gardening.
    • You can find a ship's log in a wrecked pirate ship. According to the log the captain's name was Jack and the first words recorded in the log are "the rum's gone".
  • Swamps Are Evil: The entirety of Chapter III in the second game.
  • Turns Red: The final battle of TW2 starts with easy to dodge fireballs and proceeds to attacks that instakill you if you don't know how to dodge them. Which you don't on your first attempt.
  • Unresolved Sexual Tension:
    • Between the main character and Dar Pha, though it doesn't really come to any resolution.
    • Also between the main character and Reesa, who flirts with him more as he becomes involved in her storyline in Hatmandor.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist / Anti-Villain: Gandohar turns out to be one in the Part Two.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: The final fate of your orc allies is never discovered, and the Final Boss features Dar Pha randomly phasing in and out of gameplay existence and appearing almost solely in cutscenes before vanishing. This is likely a result of a rushed plot ending.
  • Where It All Began: The final chapter of the second game.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: After your arena battle with a giant spider, the arena master confesses that he can't even stand the little ones.

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alternative title(s): Two Worlds II
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