Funny / SomecallmeJohnny Vs. The World: Page 2

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Johnny vs. the World (Season 3)

Sonic Lost World Review

• Johnny lamenting the fact that he would review the latest Sonic game in the franchise one way or another - even if it means that he would become a billionaire.
  Johnny: Nope, still not a billionaire...
• Noting that Deadly Six plan to destroy the world by sucking up all of its energy. Cue Dark Helmet, Colonel Sandurz and President Skroob chanting: "SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!!!"
• The confusion about certain Wisp power-ups quickly stops at the sight of yet another Slicer.
  Johnny: Motherfucker... *cue using Homing Attack at said Slicer* Ugh! Asshole...
• The overall summary of the 3DS version:
  Johnny: Is this another Sonic Generations 3DS - something that was made on the cheap just to have a handheld version of a game on a system that more people were likely to own compared to the Wii U?
  Mephiles the Dark: The answer is yes... and no.
• The overall problems with recording footage of Special Stages from 3DS version make Johnny "look like a damn fool" with all of the turning and spinning he needs to endure in the process.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds Review

• The new villain, Yuga, is praised by Johnny for not only being legitimately intimidating, but because his name is much easier to pronounce than Agahnim (sorry, Jerry).
  • The way Johnny pronounces Sahasrahla's name.
• "The Master Sword: The Blade That - Once Again - Gets Shit Done"
• This:
  Johnny: Link's Awakening is still a fine game. Think I'll save myself a bunch of ignorant comments by saying that... Hopefully.
• Seeing the Moldorm yet again... only to easily destroying it with the Hammer.
• Teleporting into the Dark World reminds Johnny of the Parallel Brooklyn sequence from the god-awful Super Mario Bros. movie.
  • The name of this Dark World, by the way? Lorule.
  *Cue the sarcastic laughter from Jim Carrey*
• The brief introduction to Princess Hilda, complete with a business card.
• Johnny notes that Lorule's dungeons can be completed in any order.
  Olmec: The choices are yours, and yours alone!
• "Now why the fuck do I have Majora's Mask hanging on my wall?"
• Johnny's send-off:
  Johnny: Thank you guys for watching, have a nice night... and what the Hell?
  *cue the Japanese hip-hop commercial for A Link to the Past*
  • Also, noting that there is no reimagined version of said commercial.

Batman: Arkham Origins Review

• Johnny starts off with the Batman mask on while trying to say "Merry Christmas" in Christian Bale's Batman voice, before going into a coughing fit after a second.
• The Batwing Fast Travel, to Johnny, gets old and boring after a while because you see the same thing over and over, so he decides to play some elevator music over the scene of the Batwing flying over Gotham.
• "Electrocutioner's shock gloves make Batman's hands huge. Like, Xbox DUKE controller huge. Okay, it's not that bad, but — wait a minute — (Big Head Mode is activated) — there we go. You can no longer take this game seriously."
• Showing off one of the Most Wanted missions has a thug Batman's interrogating start to sing the Batman Smells song. Batman's response? A very flat "No."
• The best part of this review is that Johnny's wearing the Batman mask over a Santa mask.

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood Review

• "Yes, the priest's name is Shaft. Ya dig?"
• Johnny's comment on finding Maria as a playable character:
  Johnny (in a high-pitched voice): Playing as a 12-year-old in a pink dress, compared to the manliness that is Richter Belmont-
  (loud gunshot) FUCK YOU, MARIA IS AWESOME!! She moves twice as fast as Richter, can attack twice as fast as Richter, as well as move and attack at the same time, she has a Double Jump that makes platforming almost a complete non-issue, two sliding abilities that are great for getting around obstacles, and her sub-weapon animal buddies can FUCK. SHIT. UP.

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night Review

• After Richter beats Dracula at the beginning of the game, we cut to an animation made by Johnny where Richter is holding a press conference, and the conversation goes something like this:
  Richter: And that's how I easily destroyed Count Dracula once and for all.
  Someone in the back of the room: THAT'S BULLSHIT!
• Upon seeing Alucard's awesome new moveset, Johnny proclaims "That was one hell of a beauty sleep."
• Alucard's Meteor attack is much better than the one in Dracula's Curse, causing Johnny to understand just why Dracula uses it so much.
• "A second castle appears, (in Kermit the Frog voice) ONLY UPSIDE DOWN, OH NO!"
• When he brings up the PlayStation at the end and asks his viewers to join him, he lip-syncs over Alucard saying "But you probably won't listen to me, will you?" from the game CD's hidden music track.

PlayStation Review

• How Johnny got this console in the first place? His father traded several Super Nintendo games for it... without telling him beforehand.
• ALART! ALART!
  Johnny: What the fuck is ALART?
• While talking about Parappa The Rapper, Johnny notes that the titular character raps about everything. Including taking a shit.

Crash Bandicoot Review

• At the beginning of the game, while discussing the development, Johnny mentions that its code-name was "Sonic's Ass Game", which he then says can describe a Sonic game someone doesn't like. Cue Elliot with the rim shot.
  Johnny: Thank you and good night!
• When talking about how he managed to die a lot in this game, Crash just happens to get burned to a crisp.
• Comparing Crash's idle animation to Crash looking like a drug dealer constantly on the lookout for the police.
• Johnny dancing to the invincibility music.

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back Review

• When talking about how he got the game for Christmas back in 1997, Johnny brings up that he actually ended up opening Final Fantasy VII first, so he just spent the rest of Christmas Eve watching Austin Powers.
• Bringing up the new Nitro boxes.
  Johnny: Just one touch - *Crash explodes* - and you'll be playing that didgeridoo in the sky in no time.
• "Why is Crash going along with Cortex's plan? Because Crash is dumb: no ifs, ands, or buts. Hell, the title of the game is CORTEX STRIKES BACK!"
• Upon realizing that both this game and Batman & Robin came out the same year at roughly the same time, and both feature a gem-powered laser beam, he notes at the end that he smells an ice-cold conspiracy, before quickly apologizing for the bad joke.

Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped Review

• Saying that Clancy Brown sounds like he's passed a major kidney stone while screaming WARPED!.
• Johnny admits that he wants to get all the Platinum Relics in the game at some point in his life...BUT IT'S SO DAMN HARD!
• His text during the credits has him wondering how Elliot would fare at the game now, before deciding that the kid's had enough punishment during the Let's Play a few years back.

Crash Team Racing and Crash Bash Review

• The character animations lead to a skit with Johnny and Elliot imitating the mouth movements, bad joke included.
  Johnny: Hey, Elliot!
  Elliot:: Hey, John.
  Johnny: Did you know that Crash Team Racing took some inspiration from Diddy Kong Racing on the Nintendo 64?
  Elliot: I did not know that, John! By the way, how did that lockjaw surgery go?
  Johnny: Well, it was a real mouth opener.
  *laughter from both Johnny and Elliot*
• This:
  Johnny: But there is no feeling worse than doing so well in the race and having all that suddenly stripped away because of a goddamn time warp, a barrage of missiles, or a fucking invincibility mash from opposing players. Oh, it's a great time for the opponents - but my God, do you wanna tear their heads off...
  • This tirade is compounded with on-camera footage of Mark celebrating his victory while Johnny just menacingly stares at him...
• On Crash Bash starting up with rather intimidating music:
  Johnny: Am I playing Crash Bash or Resident Evil?
  Announcer: Craaaaaaaaaash BASH!
  Johnny: Hurray! Mood Whiplash!
• One scene has the three brothers trying to decide what game they should play.
  Johnny: OK, boys, what it would be?
  Elliot: How about Tank Wars?
  Mark (slaps Elliot): No, let's do Medieval Mayhem.
  Johnny (laughs): You oblivious assholes... Those games are locked! Looks like it's Pogo Pandemonium for the eighth time.
  *Mark and Elliot fall back in shock*
  Mark: Ah! You... FUCK!
• When Johnny struggles to decide what to review next, he ends the video by doing Crash's victory dance. This, like Johnny's Amiibo face, has led to a slew of memes videos and gifs.
• The outtakes, which involve Johnny laughing at Mark's antics, Mark slapping Elliot too hard, and Elliot laughing too early at Mark yelling: "You FUCK!"

Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg Review

• Johnny gets so mad at the jumping controls that he... decides to cook some eggs.
• His comments on the game's main theme, which is called G.I.A.N.T. E.G.G., but the kids sing the A and N part too quickly, so it sounds a lot more like "G.I.N.T".
  Johnny: Mmmm, that's some good Gint Egg...
• A blink and miss it bit of Caption Humor - when Johnny says that the game "depends on how you like your eggs", a subtitle appears at the bottom of the screen that says 'Fried.'
• Despite Johnny hating the G.I.A.N.T. E.G.G. theme, the video ends with him dancing to it, while continuing to fry eggs.

Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 2 & 3 Review

• The intro in general, complete with a jazz music.
  It's Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 2 and 3! Starring: Son Goku, Prince Vegeta. Majin Buu! Featuring: everyone else who's not Goku, Vegeta, or Majin Buu. Musical guest: Tower of Power! And here is your host, Johnny!
  • While mentioning the fact that the composer of the original soundtrack for Budokai Trilogy - Kenji Yamamoto - was fired for plagiarism, Johnny gets interrupted by a sudden Laugh Track.
  Johnny: That's not funny, you fuckers!

Guacamelee! Review

• One of the reasons fans asked Johnny to review this game? The name of the main character: Juan, as in, Johnny's real name.
• "A luchador, a luchadora, a skeleton matador, and a chicken".
• Upon noticing what looks like a Chozo Statue:
  Johnny (to the figure of Samus): How much longer must I wait, faithful Bounty Hunter?
• "The Dashing Derpderp"

Sonic and the Secret Rings Review

• Lampshading the fact that the fans decided to choose this game instead of Knuckles Chaotix or Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed.
• Noting that Sonic himself is crashing at somebody's house while said somebody is taking a snooze. Johnny is quick to call him World's Fastest Hobo.
• Erazor Djinn gets mistaken for Majin Buu.
  • Also, he is essentially a deity who harnessed the deep hatred against humanity and decided to conquer the world of Arabian Nights.
  Gilbert Gottfried: WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!
• Noting that the mythological characters - Ali Baba, Sinbad and King Shahryar - appear as Tails, Knuckles and Dr. Robotnik respectively.

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars Review

• Noting how the name of this game is taken straight to the point. Johnny then expresses regret that the previous Mario titles didn't bear the moniker Super Mario Bros. Platforming.
• This bit:
  Johnny: Our plot begins with Bowser kidnapping Princess Toadstool... Meanwhile, the sky is blue, humans breathe oxygen to stay alive, and Jimmy Hoffa has yet to be found!
• Johnny's dumbfounded reaction to Bowser "kissing" Mario is priceless.

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island Review

• While talking about how he was introduced to the game through a commercial during his Saturday Morning Cartoons, Johnny takes a moment to discuss his disgust at the unmodest bastard in the commercial.
• Noting how Baby Mario survives quite a long fall toward the titular island.
  Johnny: This should effectively make large pits a non-issue for Mario. Motherfucker can fall over 10,000 feet as a baby and be perfectly fine - but can't fall more than 6 feet in Donkey Kong!
  *cue Mario losing a life by falling from the platform in Donkey Kong*
  Johnny: FAKER!
• Yoshi shitting his eggs to throw them back at enemies.
  Johnny: G-rated Feces Tossing - only on Nintendo!
  • He also gets fire-based, ice-based and rapid-fire attacks... from watermelons.
  Johnny: Yoshi's Island ain't fucking around!
• The entire montage set to the Athletic theme.
  • "POOCHY, for FUCK'S SAKE, STAY STILL!"
  • "FISH!" (When Yoshi got eaten by a big fish.)
  • Amidst all the chaos, there's one scene with Johnny just ground-pounding the pegs for Red Coins while telling a Blarg to wait as he's doing it.
  • After eating a Monkey who stole Baby Mario:
  Johnny: NOW TO FEAST ON YOUR CONVERTED INNARDS!
  • When the bonus ring stays on a flower.... only to change to a dot at the last second:
  Johnny: GODDAMMIT POOCHY!!!"
• At the end of World 5-8, Johnny notes how Kamek goes into his "inner Jeff Goldblum". He also reads his line in corresponding voice.
• That epic look on Yoshi's face after the battle with Prince Froggy in World 3.
  • Another example comes from swinging ghost, whose expression just says: "Hey man, not cool!"
• "This is indeed a disturbing universe..."

Super Mario 64 Review

• Johnny begins the episode by using his best Charles Martinet's impression.
• The air quotes during the word "Plumber".
• This:
  Mario Head: Hey! Are you ready for Mario-cise?
  Johnny: Mother of God...
• Johnny's interactions with the Mario Head from Mario Teaches Typing 2.
  • The best one?
  Johnny: Couldn't you just tell the Star to come towards you, Mario? *referring to a star in one of the 100 Coin Missions*
  Mario (singing): When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
  *cue Johnny facepalming*
  Mario (still singing): When an eel lunges out -
  Johnny (immediately panicking): Unagi?!
  *Unagi lunges out at Mario while letting out a loud roar. Cut back to Johnny, his empty chair is spinning rapidly as Johnny himself had quite clearly run for the hills*
  Mario: That's a moray! Get it? A moray eel? I said a funny...
  Johnny (off-screen): FUCK YOU!
• Wario in Super Mario 64 DS is less athletic than Mario, Luigi or Yoshi, but he makes up for it with his Super-Strength... which turns out to be redundant as the others can defend themselves perfectly fine, so Johnny proceeds to dub him the "Black Brick Bitch".

Super Mario Sunshine Review

• The game case itself tries to bribe Johnny with liquor. Yes, this does happen.
• Referring to F.L.U.D.D. as a Super Soaker CPS 3200.
• When Shadow Mario takes Peach, Johnny tries to get her to move by making the "Get the fuck out of the way" motion with his hand. Peach, of course, just stands there and gets kidnapped, causing Johnny to facepalm.
  Johnny: Oh, for fuck's sake...
• Johnny gets a laugh at the thought of Peach possibly being Bowser Jr.'s mom.
  Johnny: She had to think about that. Holy shit, she fucked Bowser, didn't she? Oh man, you ask for a different plot in a Mario game - and you get implications of a one-night stand between Princess Peach and Bowser! I will never ever again complain about the simplistic plot of a Mario game...
• Johnny mentions how there are only 78 Shine Sprites acquired through going through the actual stages, leaving 42 unaccounted for. Johnny's stance?
  Johnny: That's where Delfino Plaza steps in; the hub world itself has Shines to collect, some as simple as having the proper F.L.U.D.D. nozzle to reach it, and some requiring going through miniature obstacle courses that can FUCK RIGHT OFF!
• Drunk. Johnny.
  • Let's elaborate. The game ends up having too much bullshit for him to deal with, especially in the post-game missions when he's trying to get all 120 Shine Sprites. It gets to the point where he prepares the flask that the game tried to bribe him with at the beginning of the video and starts drinking out of it, getting progressively more and more inebriated until he passes out in his chair mid-sentence. Highlights include:
  Aaaand theeeeen there's the Blue Coins...! You remember these from Mario 64, right? They were great! They gave you five coins, but those Hundred Coin Missions still sucked dick... But here, they're currency. For what? Shine Sprites! Ya see these two? *referring to two Tanuki* You can exchange their Shine Sprites for Blue Coins - and the citizens never think to arrest these jerkoffs. You know, they say the Shine Sprites are goddamn essential for sustaining life itself on Isle Delfino, yet here these two are, selling them like fucking heroin!
  Later, referring to the burning Pinata: Hey there... Oh man, looks like you're on fire! It's too bad... Arright, seems you didn't felt the need to run into the ocean that's just to your left. I'll put ya out... with Yoshi's juices... Good to see you back, buddy... There ya go, putting that fire out... with those guttural, acidic juices... YOSHI JUICE FOR EVERYONE!
  • A few hours after passing out in his chair, he's seen drinking a cup of coffee, clearly suffering from a bad hangover.
• This incredible summary:
  Johnny: The main quest is a great time, the rest of it just sucks balls!

Super Mario Galaxy Review

• On his way to the Peach's festival, Mario sports quite a "goofy-fucking-looking running animation".
• Johnny attempts to discuss the power-ups without accidentally making some kind of joke about them. He fails.
• His utter glee that Nintendo remembered, as he put it, that Luigi was a thing.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 Review

• Johnny can't help but be amazed that Nintendo somehow managed to abridge the plot of a Mario game.
• His reasoning the game took so long to come out? Yoshi.
• Lampshading the quite expensive soundtracks for both Galaxy games.
  Johnny: Nintendo, PLEASE, get these babies on ITunes! A crime like this cannot go scott-free...
• Elliot joins Johnny for the Co-Star mode.
  Elliot: Alright, what do I do?
  Johnny: Just, I dunno... point at the screen and do shit.
  • "Holy shit, you can grab Purple Coins!"
• This comment at the end of the episode:
  "The Perfect Run took 62 of my lives. But I managed. Go Team Luigi."

Super Mario 3D Land Review

• As for the original Super Mario Land, Johnny recommends it for the "next trip to the shitter".
• "It was a dark and stormy night. Bowser kidnaps Peach."
  • The plot of the game summed up in three seconds, ladies and gentlemen.
  • Not to mention, Bowser himself acts like a Troll to Mario.
• Johnny freaking out at the sight of a Poison Mushroom... only to calm down when he finds out you can destroy it with Fire Mario.

Super Mario 3D World Review

• Lampshading the Cat Suit power-up in general, complete with some insight on Johnny's actual cats.
• Having fun with a microphone feature.
  Johnny: GO, GO, GET THAT GODDAMN STAR, CAPTAIN TOAD!!
• Johnny questions why Yoshi doesn't make a return, thinking the green dinosaur was asking for more money, before whispering: "I don't mean that, come back!"
• "5,000 fart jokes" during Johnny's adventure.
  Johnny: High-quality shit there, man...
• One scene, while discussing the multiplayer, has Johnny and Elliot gang up on Matt to kick his ass. Must be cathartic, seeing how much of a dick he can be in the New Super Mario games...
  • During the end credits scene, Elliot accidentally gives Johnny a wedgie when Matt tries to throw both of them off himself, prompting Johnny to yell out: "My pelvis doesn't go that way!"

Hyrule Warriors Review

• Before the video begins, Johnny asks the viewers how they relax, all the while knowing someone is typing "masturbation" in the comments.
  • And then he answers his own question thus:
  Johnny It could be a comfortable breeze through some mushroom tops, bopping fat scientists on the noggin eight times until golden brown, or ANNIHILATING EVERY LIVING THING IN YOUR PATHWAY IN YOUR CONQUEST OF THE BATTLEFIELD!
• This:
  Johnny: And as obvious as this sounds, don't fuck with the cuccoos in this game. The last thing you need is a 30-minute campaign coming to an abrupt end because of one chicken carelessly roaming into your 26-hit combo and ends up seeking revenge because of it. The Demon King should not be concerned with rampaging poultry!

Bayonetta 2 Review

• Noting how Prophet dresses up as a kite for the final showdown, along with an actual kite for comparison.
• "Layeth the smacketh downeth"
• "You were great, Ryan! Not that Ryan."

Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric and Shattered Crystal Review

• Johnny "Boomifies" his appearance for the review by wearing a wig, sports tape, and sunglasses.
  • In The Stinger, he is seen attempting to remove the tape, noting that he should've shaved his arms first... as he painfully continues to pull them off.
• "Rise of Lyric begins with Sonic being massacred by enemy fire..."
• The Chaos Emeralds are called Chaos Crystals, for some reason.
  Dr. Neo Cortex: Of course...
• Johnny sincerely thinks that Werehog of all things was better than the sloppy combat in Rise of Lyric.
• In Shattered Crystal, Johnny is not particularly fond of Knuckles' deformed face. Probably because Knuckles himself "stores nuts in his mouth for the winter".

The Super Smash Bros. Series Review

• Johnny saying that his collection of toys would never come to life to "fuck shit up"... before looking at it in concern while sinister Resident Evil ambient is heard in the background...
  Johnny: Think about the collateral damage...
• Johnny naming his Amiibo Light Suit Samus "iSamus".
• Matt using a Mii named "Dikenmouf".
• Showing off the Training Room has Little Mac going up against Samus, complete with a Megaton Punch.
  Johnny: OK, shake it off, shake it off...

Freedom Planet Review

• Johnny's way of showing how radically the game changes tone:
  Carol (watching TV with Lilac and Milla): Hey, Lilac!
  Lilac: Hm?
  Carol: How come Torque doesn't wanna hang out with us?
  Lilac: He said he had some work to do.
  Carol: Eh, he's probably just scared of getting cooties...
  *The trio all giggle, with Johnny joining in*
  Johnny: Okay, I think that's enough fun. *Presses a button*
  *An instant cut to Lilac being tortured*

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth Review

• This gem:
  Johnny: Laser-shooting walking vaginas? Heh, seen it... I think... Happy Holidays, everyone!
• This game is fair in terms of its challenge and contains no tricky bullshit.
  Johnny: Even when shit is all over the place in many different colors! Rainbow shit, people - that's a thing in this game.

Cory in the House Review

• The fact that Johnny actually reviewed the game is a CMOF within itself but special highlights include:
  • Johnny's imitation of Cory's running animation.
    • Along with a bit of an insult to himself.
  Johnny: Is this how I look when I run? I mean, I am quite the heavy fuck.
  • Johnny commenting on the abundance of slurpees and stating that Cory needs them because "he's a chunky chunk fuck".
  • Johnny's reaction to the game having a Laugh Track.
  • The remark that the game contains so much weird stuff that it should really be called Cory in the What the Fuck.

Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16 - Licensed to Drive Review

• Johnny thinks about this game as a collection of every single female teenage stereotype known to humanity, namely:
  FASHION! ACCESSORIES! QUIZ GAMES? MUSIC, I THINK! DON'T FORGET THE BOYS, OMIGOD!
• "The mini-games have these kids driving jetskis, ATVs, sail boards, the professional photographers, apparently..."
  • Speaking of mini-games, the following scene has Johnny portraying what he imagines the design process for these would've been like, complete with one guy writing down the ideas of another.
  Guy No.1: Mini-game Number 1?
  Guy No.2: Collect things... ATVs.
  Guy No.1: OK, and mini-game Number 2?
  Guy No.2: Collect things... Jetskis.
  Guy No.1: Genius!
  Guy No.2: I'm tired. Let's call it a day.
• While Johnny tore the game a new one as he usually does for bad licensed games, the crowning moment of the review was his snippet of footage he made of himself, Elliot, Matt, and Mark playing the game. The group is sent into a fit of laughter when one of the characters on the board drives off the road, keeps going, and phases through a mountainside while ending their turn in a blue void.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom Review

• The intro and outro of the episode are done in homage to the classic SpongeBob art-style, complete with Johnny's best impression of the French Narrator.
• The game itself doesn't make Johnny laugh, unlike the show.
  SpongeBob: I think I have fudge in my pants...
  Johnny (sarcastically): Yeah, thank you for that.
• Johnny notes how SpongeBob can create only bubbles and rockets out of bubbles.
  Johnny: I thought SpongeBob was the one with-
  SpongeBob: IMAGINATION... *forms a rainbow from his hands*
• Patrick can't jump with watermelon in tow - but he needs to be fast, or said watermelon will explode!
  Johhny: Oh, fuck off! You're telling me that didn't count? What a pile of Alaskan bull-worm...
• Getting aggravated by the onslaught of enemies in Mr. Krabs' Dream.
  Johnny: I'm not in the middle of pre-hibernation week, you assholes!!
  • Also, knockback.

Psychonauts Review

• Poking fun at seersucker suits by showcasing Ohto running away in fear after his black-and-red suit was torn off.
• While Johnny discusses Raz's psychic abilities, he shows off a bear he came across while proudly proclaiming: "I set this one on fire."
• His rant about how Raz is what Silver should have been, after which he apologizes by saying he didn't mean to go on such a long tangent, before saying that he actually did - since he wrote it, after all.
• As Johnny is searching for the next game in his box, the dreaded Resident Evil ambient is heard in the background... only to abruptly stop when the next choice for the First Donators Marathon is revealed to be Mega Man Network Transmission. When Johnny leaves, the shadow of Tails Doll suddenly appears in the frame.
  Tails Doll: Ah, I really should've removed the other games in the box first...

Mega Man Network Transmission Review

• Johnny questioning who the main villain is supposed to be, what WWW is supposed to mean (World Three), and why MegaMan.EXE's arm cannon sounds like Emmett Brown's DeLorean reaching 88 mph...
• "...or you can rely on Mega Man's default weapon, the Mega Buster, which when starting off - MEGA BLOWS!!"
• This tirade:
  Johnny (as MegaMan.EXE): Lan! I'm trying to save the fucking world here, and the best you can give me is reaching into your bag and throwing random shit at me without looking at it? I need fucking help here, man! Fire Man's kicking my ass!
  • This is also accompanied by a shot of Johnny wearing his hat backward and throwing a notebook at a sprite statue of Mega Man.
• "Oh shit, it's a robot Billy Hatcher!"
• Johnny's reaction to the next game he pulls out of the box.

Ecco the Dolphin Review

• "WHAM!!! FUCKING CRABS! WHAM!!! FUCKING CUTTLEFISH! HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS THAT???"
• "I mean, people talk about how Resident Evil or Silent Hill made them evacuate their bowels, and yet here I am talking about a dolphin with stars on his head... Yeah, that's how you know he's special, fucking stars."
• Johnny rage-quitting the final boss battle of the first game.
  Johnny: NO MORE!!! ECCO DIED SAVING HIS FAMILY, (salutes) A TRUE DOLPHIN HERO! Get this shit outta my Genesis!
• Johnny finding a card featuring Sonic the Hedgehog and friends, advertising an anti-violence PSA and...
  Johnny: 'No one wins with violence. For more information, please contact National Committee to prevent... child abuse?!' What the fu-''
• Upon seeing the final note from Tails Doll, Johnny decides to crumble it up, eat it, spit it out, then step on it.

Bubsy Series Review

• Johnny getting sidetracked by his uncle's collection of Atari Jaguar games, and then giggling after encountering the infamous "Where did you learn to fly?" head in Cybermorph.
• "Bubsy can glide on propeller fans to get higher distances. Did you know you can also do that with the boss' gun residue? No? What, are you stupid? Of course you can do that! Come on!"
• Johnny trying to get Bubsy's attention on the title screen of Bubsy 2:
  Johnny: Bubsy! I'm over here, buddy, you're - you're sorta looking the wrong way d- *Bubsy turns around and rolls his eyes* Oh you motherfucker!
• Johnny commenting on the Nerf Gun power-up:
  Johnny: Could they give Bubsy a rapid-fire model? I'd rather go Rambo up on this sum'bitch!

X-Men Legends Review

• "Someone's in danger, we should go save them!" And that's the majority of the adventure.
• Johnny mentions that Iceman only exists to create ice bridges for his teammates to get across. The following skit works well due to Patrick Stewart voicing Professor X in this game:
  Johnny (as Professor X): Listen up, here's the course of action.
  Professor X: Cyclops, you'll lead the team into the warehouse and gather intel on Magneto's plans. Storm, you will provide cover for the X-Jet to approach the area safely. Wolverine, you'll scope out the area and keep a lookout for enemy threats. And Iceman, you will be placed on... ice bridge watch.
  *Beat*
  Professor X: Ice bridges.
  *Beat*
  Professor X: Make it so.
• The constant car alarm sound that interrupts Johnny in the outtake.

X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse Review

• Johnny fondly remembers how he kicked the shit out of Apocalypse from X-Men vs. Street Fighter.
• "Monster of the Week Bru-Ha-Ha"
• Showing Wolverine Flipping the Bird to Sabertooth.

Journey (2012) Review

• The brief philosophical description... of the sandwich.
  Johnny: Meanwhile, while the person was explaining all of that, I already eat the damn thing because it's food - and I was hungry!
• Johnny gets interrupted by the terrifying howl... and the certain carnival music.
  Johnny: Ow, fuck me...

The Five Nights at Freddy's Trilogy Review

• "I solemnly swear that there will be no jump scares in this video."
  • Until the end, that is... Thankfully, Johnny pulled a joke.
• Elliot gives the overall rundown about the animatronic mascots. Including the point when they will grab the unfortunate players and try to stuff them inside their suits...
  Elliot: That means death...
  Johhny: No shit.
  • He also explains that when the power runs out, Freddy finds a new keyboard player for the band.
• When reviewing the first game, the brothers wonder how come the second part of Torador plays when the power runs out - and Freddy is standing outside the door. Elliot mentions that the first part wouldn't really fit the game. Johnny edits in the first part of the music, and seeing the eyes blink to the music was hilarious.
• This dialogue:
  Johnny: Do you remember that security game prototype that Nintendo showed off at E3 last year?
  Elliot: Not really...
  Johnny: Never mind. *drinks his coffee*
• Johnny kicking that prick - Balloon Boy - to the ground.
  • And then dancing afterwards.
• "FENAFF... FUNAFF... FENAFF..." bit.
• In FNaF3, not only cameras are shutting off - but also the ventillation.
  Johnny: It's a privilege to just breathe in this place!
• Not in the review itself, but the exact next day after the review came out, the teaser for the next game was revealed. Johnny even made a (short) video about it, and the description is just as hilarious:
  Sometimes, I wonder if creators like to dick with me personally.
  Nah, most likely not.

Shovel Knight Review

• Johnny mentioning that Plague Knight getting his own DLC was because his boss fight was so notorious before agreeing with Gilly that it was because of his bendy straw.

Skullgirls Encore Review

• When discussing the amounts of Fanservice:
  Johnny: They shake, they bounce, they flash and they mutate.

Octodad: Dadliest Catch Review

• Johnny's rage at the patient with Octodad's masquerade as a nurse:
  Johnny: Octodad, Head Nurse Bitch!

The Shantae Series Review

• Shantae is attacking her enemies with her hair.
  Johnny: The ultimate of headbangers, folks...
• The first experiences with the original Shantae are summed up as Shantae: Leaps of Faith.
• Tinkering with the debug mode in general.
  • Also comparing levitating Shantae to "mind-controlled Superman chasing Terry McGinnis".
• Johnny's reaction to seeing his old enemy - the Slicer - in Pirate's Curse.
• Johnny performing Shantae's dance to ensure that Half-Genie Hero would be a good game.
  • But that's not all: he's joined by cosplayers of Mario, Luigi, Samus, and even Mega Man and Bass... not to mention a lot of other people at the convention.

Papers, Please Review

• Johnny's "dance" to the main theme.
• He changes the pronunciation of the title between his natural voice and robotic one throughout the entire review.
• Johnny lets one of the civilians on his merry way... only to get M.O.A. Citation.
  Johnny: Son of a bitch! That fucking sucks, and that's the money I'm not earning!

The Hotline Miami Series Review

• The beginning of the episode itself.
• These games are full of violence, and are essentially chaotic acid trips. So much so when Johnny got to the credits of the first game, he was seriously expecting to see Kefka Palazzo's name among developers.
• The colourful shows during playing Wrong Number force Johnny to shower himself with a bottled water.
  Johnny: These games are fucked up!
• Getting run over by a car. Repeatedly.
• Getting the FNAF Alarm... again.
  Johnny: Wait, what? Fucking hell, already?! HEY ELLIOT!
  Elliot (off-screen): Yeah?
  Johnny: FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S 4 IS OUT!!
  Elliot (off-screen): Already working on it!
  Johnny: Oh, wait for me, goddammit! I'll get that coffee...

Five Nights at Freddy's 4 Review

• Johnny once again solemnly swears that there won't be any Jump Scares in this episode. He then notices that Elliot isn't in the room, and he finds him in another room huddled on the floor:
  Johnny: Get your ass up!
  Elliot: No!
  Johnny (cracking up): You're not getting out of the review...
  Elliot: I CAN TRY, DAMMIT!
• Referring to these dreaded animatronics as "godforsaken dancing Terminators".
• Elliot notes that the protagonist's brother is a total dickwad.
• Johnny's justification as to why Foxy bolts for the closet when he enters the bedroom, and not the kid:
  Foxy: This is a nice closet!
  • The entire short put into the review is hilarious in itself, mostly thanks to Power Echoes.
• This argument:
  Johnny: The 8th game better be called Freddy Takes Manhattan.
  Elliot: Go to Hell...
  Johnny: Well, that's the 9th game.
  Elliot: And the 10th game will be about Freddy in space!
  Johnny: And then we get the crossover with Jason Voorhees, and it'll be called Freddy... vs. Jason...
  Elliot: Sh-

AVGN Adventures Review

• Johnny's way to "pop the game in" is to pop the NES-style cartridge with AVGN Adventures sticker into the Steam icon.
• For obvious reasons, Johnny is not holding back in the swearing department.
  • And then here's his take at the Nerd rant:
  Johnny: Mother of fuckballs, I want to crack my controller in two after dying from bullshit like death blocks and the fucking ground control! I slipped off the edge more times than Luigi with butter under his greasy shoes! I was in rage when I discovered that deers can go through walls! And who the fuck thought that the naked grandma-witch on a broom was a good idea?!
  • And he still refuses to drink Rolling Rock.
• Noting that the dreaded death blocks make the player "explode like Michael Moore".
• The DualShock 4 suddenly emits different colors.
  Johnny: Does my controller, like, channeling the power of the seven Chaos Emeralds, or something? Jesus!
• All this relentless adventure that Johnny had to go through... was only on the Normal difficulty.
  Johnny: If you can conquer this shit on Oldschool or higher - give yourself a fucking medal!

Johnny vs. the World (Season 4)

Splatoon Review

• In the vibe of Capcom Sequel Stagnation trope, Johnny proposes several names of the (fake) Splatoon updates: Super Splatoon and Ultimate Super Splatoon.
  • On the cover art for Ultimate Super Splatoon, there's a "Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series" sticker plastered on.
• Johnny can't help but wonder what kind of game it would be if the paint was red...
  • Also, the players sporting pink paint are said to sport Pepto-Bismol in their arsenal, and the players with the green paint are armed with Morning Snut.
• Splatoon, apparently, takes place during the post-apocalyptic times where the squids and octopi rule the world with no humans in sight.
  Johnny (matter-of-factly): That's fucked up.
• Johnny wishes that Splatoon would sport some battleground akin to the Isle Delfino because FUCK ISLE DELFINO
  • Also, the lack of the co-op story mode which could be considered in the potential sequel...
  Johnny: Couch multiplayer is still a thing, goddammit! We're not all connected to The Matrix just yet, THERE IS STILL A FUCKING TI-

Batman: Arkham Knight Review

• Johnny shows off the glitches in the first release of the game (before all the update patches were released), which includes Batman's body disappearing, Barbara's body not loading, Batman getting stuck in place ("Robin, there seems to be some impenetrable force field. Quick! Get me the Anti Impenetrable Force Field Bat Spray!") and rain coming down in his office with Lucius failing to notice.
  Johnny: Lucius! Lucius, it's fucking raining inside my office! All my leather seats and my computer- Lucius! Answer to Batman!
  • It all culminates in Johnny quipping: "This is not a good night for the Caped Crusader...", before suddenly getting run over by a car.

Super Mario Maker Review

• When Johnny points out the similarities to Mario Paint, it cuts to him drawing on Mario Paint. The end result? Bacon.
• A Call-Back to his Super Mario Bros. review about how the people of the Mushroom Kingdom were transformed into the very blocks Mario hits/destroys... and replicating the idea thanks to the sound effects options available.
• After Gilly the Kid starts bashing people over camping out and committing murder over Amiibos:
  *While dusting Amiibo Johnny: H-h-hey, that person fell on my knife!
  Gilly: What?
  Johnny: Nothing, what murder!? *Puts Amiibo back and looks suspicious.*

The Metal Gear Saga Review

• Since you don't fight the eponymous Metal Gear in the NES game (rather, a large computer screen), Johnny muses that the point of the game is to interrupt Big Boss's game of Minesweeper.
• "LIEUTENANT Solid Snake. God, that just sounds like something from an 80's action movie..."
• And then there's Johnny's utter disbelief about the password system:
  Johnny: If you just want to skip to the end, you type in "Fuck Me" at the password screen. "Fuck Me!" They got away with that! How do you miss something like that?!
• When Johnny takes a second to compliment the music of the 2D sections of Snake's Revenge, the footage briefly switches to Johnny jamming out to said music, still holding the controller in his hand. Seen here (Link should start at the correct time, but go to 13:33 if it doesn't.)

Metal Gear Solid Review

• Imagining Solid Snake as a perverted freelance photographer.
• The Twin Snakes version of Psycho Mantis spotlights Super Mario Sunshine. Cut to Johnny having it next to him on the couch and glaring at it.
• John's sympathy for McDonnel Miller.
  Johnny: Poor Miller; killed offscreen like a chump.

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty Review

• Showing off Snake's new dodge roll.
  Johnny (excitedly): WHEE! WHEE! WHEE! *falls on a flight of stairs* Ow...
• "A random ninja pops out, acting as a messenger for the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo. *Whispering* That means The Patriots, it's a stupid code word."
• Shouting "Taint flip!" whenever he has Naked Raiden flip.
• Snake's own way of Breaking the Fourth Wall:
  Snake: If you run out of ammo you can use mine.
  Raiden: You got enough?
  Snake: Absolutely. (Points at the bandana on his forehead) Infinite ammo.
  Johnny: That's not something you tell someone when they're having an existential crisis, Snake.

Merry Gear Solid Review

• The review opens with a bit of a subject appropriate version of Deck The Halls, including "la-li-lu-le-lo le-lo-ho-ho" a couple of times.
• "And really, who has a better beard than Santa Claus?" Cue Ramuh:
  Johnny: Whoa! Holy shit! Eh... God damn! Let's give the title to Ramuh, then. Ah... sweet Jesus.
  • Complete with a photoshop image of Ramuh wearing Santa's hat.
• The ending shows Johnny reacting with surprise at Mark posing behind Elliot (who's manning the camera), Mark falling off the couch, and Mark unloading his Nerf gun on Elliot, all ending with Johnny saying "Merry Christmas to everyone!"

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater Review

• This moment when he's talking about the infamous ladder climb.
  (Snake Eater Theme plays)
  (Stops climbing half way up)
  Johnny: (as Snake) Oh, wait... I forgot my gun.
  (Proceeds to climb back down)
  Johnny: (as Snake) Uhh... Better take the shortcut.
  (Cut to Snake falling down the shaft)
• Noting how one Soviet soldier seems to be taking a rather quiet Sunday stroll- IT'S FUCKING WEDNESDAY *cue Snake CQC-slamming said soldier into the ground*
  • "One more time, that impact!" *cue another CQC-slam* "Hm... tasty!"

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots Review

• "Thanks to the drum barrel technology- I'm sorry, Snake... *cue Snake vomiting*
  • That clip returns along with Johnny's horror that Colonel Campbell married Rose.
  Johnny: I had to sit through all these agonising April 30th Codec conversations just for them to cut the knot between games???
  Snake: Not happy about that? Get over it.
  Johnny (who's replacing Raiden on the Codec screen): Yes, sir...
• Referring to this game as "Snake's Ass Game".
  Johnny: You'd better embrace it, because that thing's staring at you the whole way through, baby. That's a rock solid man-ass! Hey look, it even glows when you put it in a microwave. Ugh... stupid sexy Snake...

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance Review

• These "phenomenal shit-eating faces" from Jetstream Sam and Sundowner.
• Poking fun at Sombrero Raiden.
• When Raiden is seen riding a motorcycle, Johnny is quick to remember Shadow the Hedgehog.
• Noting how radically different the gameplay is from the rest of Metal Gear games.
  Johnny: Isn't that obvious enough? You cut a fucking Metal Gear Ray unit in half!

Metal Gear Ac!d and Metal Gear Ac!d 2 Review

• Johnny explaining the story of the first Ac!d game.
• General Wiseman is an obvious bad guy in the sequel. No doubt thanks to his Slasher Smile.
• Venus and her very large... "Cranium! Look at that noggin' - her head must be, like, 90% skull!"
  • On that note, Dr. Takiyama and her jiggling boobs make Johnny think that he's playing Dead or Alive.
• Comparing Metal Gear model from Ac!d 2 to a toy from Happy Meal.
• Johnny notes that he actually enjoys getting spotted by enemies in Ac!d 2, because that means it's fucking party time!^Note The music sounds like something heard at a rave.
• "Solid I, Robot"

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker Review

• When starting the plot summary, Johnny lampshades the Gaiden Game status of Portable Ops.
  Johnny: It's been over a decade since the events of Snake Eater. I would say four years after Portable Ops, but Peace Walker does not care about Portable Ops.
• While talking about the Monster Hunter crossover sidequests, Johnny brings mention that trying to use the tranquilizer gun on some of the monsters is a bad idea since it takes forever to knock them down.
  Johnny: After a while you'll just be like-
  Hulkbuster-equipped Tony Stark while rapidly punching the Incredible Hulk: Gotosleepgotosleepgotosleep...
• Johnny plays the entire conversation between Emmerich and Snake showcasing that Snake not only believes in Santa Claus, but also believes that NORAD tracks him every Christmas (which, hilariously, they actually do in real life.) Emmerich's laugh is what really sells it.
  Snake (aggravated): HE'S REAL, I TELL YA!

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes and Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Review

• While petting the wolf-dog, a supply large supply box drops on Snake's head.
  • And later, while he's driving his Jeep at Mother Base, Johnny runs into a wall because he's not looking where he's going.
• There's something funny about the image of a large bear being lifted back to Mother Base with nothing but a balloon.
• When hopping aboard the D-Walker, Johnny cries in a hilariously high pitched voice "Now away, noble steed!"
• This bit after explaining how Mother Base gets built up over the course of the game and what you can do when you're there.
  Johnny (as Snake): Gentlemen, let's raise some morale...
  Johnny (as the soldiers): AH SHIT!
  *Cue montage of Snake beating up his men with Spanish Fly playing in the background, capping it off by hitting a few soldiers with the Rocket Arm and then hitting himself in the face with it*
• Since Big Boss is now voiced by Kiefer Sutherland instead of David Hayter, Johnny decides at one point to refer to Big Boss as "Jack Bauer with an eye patch."
• After thanking everyone who joined him on his online escapades, Johnny dives into the group while screaming "Now give me a hug!"
  • Before then, Snake does a Ginyu Force Pose.

EarthBound Beginnings Review

• At the beginning, Johnny finds out that he needs to type in the favorite food after giving names to the characters. He wonders if the menu will also ask his social security number and CAPTCHA to make sure he's not a robot.
• "The fucking lamp suddenly springs to life and attacks me! What the fuck?"
• "Guygoo? Geegoo? Giegue? Gyigas!" Despite being raised by Ninten's grandparents as a human (or dog, whatever...), it wants to destroy humanity. The best part? Johnny doesn't give a fuck about that.
  • Also calling it Giggity.
• The ability to inflict pain with swear words...
  Johnny: YEAH, FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE PRICK! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT NOW? - that's basically what's happening...
  Johnny: EAT SHIT AND DIE, MOTHERFUCKER!!! There we go...
• Fuck You: The Spell
• ''During my 3rd hour-long grinding session that I didn't record because IT'S A GRINDING SESSION"

EarthBound (1994) Review

• Getting shocked by the high prices for the EarthBound cartridges.
• Getting ChuggaConroy for the review by showcasing the photo of Johnny with him from the PAX East.
• Johnny decides to leave Poo's name unchanged BECAUSE HIS NAME IS FUCKING POO.
• When it comes to great video game protagonists, they're highly regarded for their heroism, but they're total "cardboard boxes" in terms of personality. Johnny even switches the pictures of Mario, Ness and Link with the literal cardboard boxes to emphasize this.
• Very wierd facial expression of Tasahir the Loch-Ness monster:
  Johnny: Does this look like the face of mercy, motherfucker?
• When Johnny gets nauseous from the status conditions, he immediately thinks about beef stew:
  Johnny: Hey, I could be on fucking deathbed - but you'll never get me to hate my beef stew! And I fucking know my beef stew... *cut to Johnny cooking said beef stew*
• Getting aggravated by the randomly popping photographer who takes pictures of Ness, and also imagining him as a bearded pervert.
  Johnny: You're trying to pull shit like this in America - and your ass goes to fucking jail! <...> Sweet Jesus... leave me alone, you fucking creeper!

Mother 3 Review

• "Roughousing with friendly FUCKING DINOSAURS???"
• After finding out that the name of the setting is called Nowhere Island's Johnny grumbled that he should've named the dog Courage.
• "Oh, look at the cute little frog in a sports convertible! It's so adorable!"
• Pointing out that the random lightning strikes hit only those who don't have Happy Boxes in their houses:
  Johnny: Christ! Imagine if Best Buy summon the Light of Judgement if you didn't own the TV... I'm now imagining Best Buy being like Kefka Palazzo!
• Getting distracted by the Club TITIBOO.
• Lucas falls down from the great height into the haystack... Sounds familliar?
  Johnny: You could fall from fucking orbit and be alright as long as you landed in hay!
• Johnny's reaction to characters having an actual drug trip.
• While mentioning super-toilet, Johnny inserts the clip "Aaaah!!!".
• Showcasing Reggie Fils-Amie setting one of the fans on fire with a Mario fireball.

Undertale Review

• In this game, some monsters would be persuaded to go away. Johnny says it feels like "turning down another agent of Greenpeace".
• Describing the dodging mechanic.
  Johnny: It can get super-hectic at times: going from a simple game of dodging straight projectiles to HOLY FUCK, WHEN DID IT SUDDENLY BECOME A SHOOT-EM-UP FROM HELL???
• The overall summary of the Genocide approach:
  Johnny: You wanna be a bastard? You don't get to enjoy, you don't deserve any satisfaction! Killing is wrong, how dare you trying to fully complete the game? We're gonna give you the hardest encounters in this game because FUCK YOU! The XP and LV don't actually mean Experience and Levels, but rather Execution Points and Level of Violence, you fucking prick- I GET IT.
• "Using the child as your vessel - I'm sorry, that sounded a bit demonic..."
• At the end of the review, Johnny gets interrupted with the dreaded "9's" screen and howling wind which signifies the appearance of Chara. Thankfully, Johnny himself manages to finish the review in time.
  Johnny: Thank you guys for watching, have yourselves a fantastic- *Chara reappears* ffffuck me... OK, you guys better just scroll down, turn the volume down... just close it- *Chara scares the fuck out of Johnny* WOAH, FUCK ME!!
  *Cue Chara slashing at the screen. The red 9's fill the shaking screen*

The Street Fighter Series Review

• Johnny tries to start reviewing the original Street Fighter... only to get curb-stomped by Sagat. Cue Johnny dropping the controller.
  • From the same game, while discussing Sagat himself:
  Johnny: When he's not after your pride - he's after your fucking pocket change...
  • His weird face at the Vs. screen is (probably) the result of "the allergic reaction to success".
  • Sagat also returns in Street Fighter II:
  Johnny: ...he's still a very tall man with longer reach and- TIGER! TIGER! TIGER UPPERCUT! TIGER-
• THE STREET FIGHTERS ARE ASSHOLES
• From the Street Fighter The Movie: The Game portion:
  • Johnny is legitimately baffled at Sawada's special attack... which turns out to be a simple slide:
  Johnny: Like, his insatiable need for a hug needs to be a fucking super-attack!
  • Also, Zangief's "stun animation":
  Johnny: What do you think Zangief's doing here? This shit isn't the stun animation - that's me trying to blend in in the nightclub. *Cue Johnny performing said "animation" along with Zangief*
• As of Street Fighter Alpha series, M. Bison also "studied the art of monetary fuckery from Sagat".
• This bit from Street Fighter EX series:
  Johnny: Whoa, man! If that isn't the biggest "Booty Warrior"-face Ken would give, I dunno what comes close - maybe Adon in Street Fighter Alpha, but Ken is a close second... and Dhalsim thinks it's A-okay.
  • The gesture Dhalsim makes in this moment speaks for itself.
• The entire descripion of Gill from Street Fighter III deserves a couple of laughs.
• The art-style of Street Fighter IV is quite surreal for Johnny, probably because:
  Johnny: Everybody's hit the gym like a motherfucker!
• The questionable hair-style of Ken from Street Fighter V makes Johnny think that he was modeled in clay-doll workshop.

Mighty No. 9 Review

• Johnny himself was a backer of the Kickstarter project for this game. His name is featured in the credits as Mighty No. 3254.
  • He even says at the end of the episode: "I am not Mighty". Understandably so.
• Noting that the 3D character models practice ventriloquism.
• Saying that one of the special weapons is essentially an "extremely pissed off Crash Bomber", and how it easily destroys everything.
  Johnny: It's like, "Fuck you, I don't have the time for this bullshit..."
• Johnny is not particularly fond of conversations... during the boss battles:
  Johnny: It's just, "Let me deal with the robot first, and then we can share our stories telepathically later, alright?"
• The Retro skin for Beck looks more like a Minecraft skin.

Overwatch Review

• Johnny prefers to be on the offensive side of things while playing Overwatch.
  Johnny: I wanna be in action, get shot down, hear from my other team members and continue to piss them off because fuck them!
• SHE'S A MEDIC SNIPER.
• Noting how Zarya's barriers absorb all of enemy gunfire.
  Johnny: You got a D.Va trying to nuke you with her ultimate attack? Fuck outta here... now go back to drinking your fucking Mountain Dew!
  • Immediately after this:
  Johnny: And for the record, I don't hate D.Va players - I just hate D.Va. Fuck her!
• GO TEAM MARIE
• "I should probably see some medical attention."

Star Fox and Star Fox 2 Review

• While discussing one of the earliest 3D racing games, Johnny gets a little dumbfounded when he notices the completely black wall in his path. Thankfully, it was just a poorly-rendered tunnel.
  Johnny: Alright... pants no longer shat on.
• Referring to Star Fox team as a Ragtag Bunch of Space Mercenaries.
• "Alright, that's enough of Star Fox! Let's talk about Star Fox."
• Noting how Fox McCloud is fluent in many languages while communicating with his team.
  *cue the unintelligible vocal banter from Star Fox team, followed by Mario and Luigi*
  • Of course, Fox's teammates also get too much shit due to their "usefulness".
• This bit about the hardest path:
  Johnny: I appreciate the diversity, it's just... Jesus, fuck!
• Calling Andross' projectiles "Bathroom tiles".
  • In the sequel, Andross himself is called a "real shitty shit".
• "Meteor with a trollface"
• Johnny managed to get two prototype cartridges of Star Fox 2: one was bought from Too Many Games, and Johnny got another one as a donation. And these cartridges were obtained in the span of 10 minutes!
  Shop employee: Fuck my life...

Star Fox 64 Review

• Watching the Star Fox 64 commercial in a nutshell.
  • Also, referencing the guy who explodes from eating too much shit.
  • Johnny's cringy expression returns during the Rumble Pak commercial.
• The over-the-top voice acting for Star Fox team. Also, noting how their faces "freeze to death".
  • On that note, calling Falco Lombardi "a massive cock-mongrel" also counts.
• Cut to Johnny playing Star Fox 64 3D on his 3DS:
  Johnny: Just look at me - I mean, fuck...

Star Fox Adventures Review

• The tongue-twisting name RareWare transforms into RawrWawr.
• For some reason, Warp Stone reminds Johnny of Shrek.
• Noting how Slippy's blank expression looks like he's witnessing the Apocalypse.
• Johnny getting the Metroid Alarm. Twice.

Metroid Prime: Federation Force Review

• Johnny introduces the characters in the game as if he was advertising 90's action figure line.
  Johnny: From Hasbro! Ice cubes and Mountain Dew sold separately.
• Mentioning the ridiculous armor of the titular Federation Force troops and comparing it to Iron Monger.
• This line when mentioning the Screw Attack:
  Johnny: I shot that asshole dead!
• The Johnny Squad.
  Johnny: What do you get when you combine 3 assholes to make YouTube videos together? The JOHNNY SQUAD!
• "Mountain Dew Bitch"

AM2R: Return of Samus Review

• Johnny saying that he would give Super Metroid Redesign hack a shot. Cue correcting himself with Caption Humor:
  Derp. I meant not saying I NEVER will.
• Noting how Samus could destroy all 38 Metroids on the planet in a short amount of time.
  Johnny: That's one hell of a GPS tracker!
  • Also, this:
  Johnny: Through sheer will and determination, it's only a matter of time before the word "Metroid" is wiped from the Space Dictionary - except "No, it doesn't", "No, it doesn't", and "No, it doesn't"!
• "Damn. DAMN."
• In stark contrast to AM2R, Johnny remembers how the Metroids from the original Metroid 2 were easy enough to kill...
  Johnny: Except Zeta Metroids - those can get fucked!

Star Fox: Assault Review

• "The manual still has quick synopsises... Synopses?"
• Luckily, Fox McCloud finally uses his gun - a point which was poked fun of in Star Fox Adventures.
• Johnny is not afraid to give this game shit for showcasing the map on the center of the screen - a shit that Ecco the Dolphin for Dreamcast also got.
• The autolock system is similar to that of Shadow the Hedgehog... but with better controls.
  • The word "BETTER" emphasized in quotes.
• Returning to Dinosaur Planet was cathartic for Johnny. All these handicaps from the previous game? Gone. Now he can use actual fucking weapons! Except...
  Johnny: I just wish the enemies were Sharp Claws... or fuck, General Scales - give him some proper fucking closure!

Star Fox Command Review

• Johnny mentions that he witnessed this game during his first college year.
  Caption: DERP: I WAS IN MY SECOND YEAR OF COLLEDGE IN 2006
• Johnny notices that some characters make this game easier, some - harder. For example:
  Johnny: Try using Leon to shoot the missile down, because he FUCKING SUCKS AT IT
• Johnny points out that you can use samples of your own voice that replace the normal vocal sounds. At first, he adds in some factoids, but then follows it up with "AAAAAAAAAAAH", the result is what he dubs "Star Fox: Belch On Command".
  Johnny (giggling childishly): I am 29...
• Johnny trying to explain the ridiculous story.
  Johnny: It's a fucking soap opera!
  • The absurd reasoning of the split between Fox and Krystal? Fox is afraid that Krystal might get in danger on the battlefield...
  Johnny: So I guess that Slippy, Falco and Peppy were expendable, you furry fuckhead?
  • And despite said split, both still engage in conversations which are summed up as "He said, she said" bullshit.
  • Also, this statement:
  Johnny: We have multiple unfocused storylines that sacrifice coherency for the sake of I-don't-fucking-know what!

Star Fox Zero Review

• This game is summed up as a REBOOT REBOOT to the original Star Fox.
• Referring to Monarch Dodora as a "dickheaded twin-headed bird dragon".
  Johnny: Now fuck off and die!
• In Star Fox Guard, Johnny praises the "heavily armed video cameras".
  Johnny: Shit, if only I was equipped with these in Five Nights at Freddy's game...
• At the end of the review, Johnny suddenly gets smacked in the head by the Sonic Boom: Fire and Ice game box. In the next shot, Johnny gets dressed up into the familliar gear: fingerless gloves, sports tape, wig and sunglasses.
  • The outtakes include Johnny shouting "FUCK!" as Mark helps to put sports tape on his hands, and Johnny himself cracking up when he sees the game.

Sonic Boom: Fire and Ice Review

• Johnny once again sports his "Boomified" look.
  • PKSparkXX is seen playing along with Johnny. He does Double Take when he finally sees Johnny in costume.
  PKSparkXX: My man... What are you wearing?
  • After getting the title card, PKSparkXX persuades Johnny to review Sonic Free Riders. Needless to say, he fails.
• Yet again, Knuckles stores nuts in his fucking mouth.
• Thinking that Mike Pollock is clearly saying "Shit snail" to Sonic.
• Johnny has much easier time to remove the sports tape from his hands. The previous Sonic Boom review certainly helped.

Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location Review

• Once more, Johnny solemnly swears that there will be no jumpscares in this episode. Note how Johnny makes that promise with his LEFT hand, meaning that he lied this time.
  • A few minutes later, Elliot - who's wearing a werewolf costume - jumps to Johnny from behind the couch, causing Johnny to scream like a little bitch.
  • Another - this time real - jump scare happens later on while discussing the game, which leads to Elliot slapping Johnny while Johnny just grins with satisfaction...
  Elliot: I thought you said there were gonna be no jump scares, you dick!
• While discussing the atmosphere, Johnny randomly screams: "Scroll back up, you pussy!"
• Elliot's rant about the mini-game after Night Four has the words "SUPER HAPPY RANT TIME" overlaid on the screen.

Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Review

• Johnny's reaction to Bridge Zone Act 2 in the 8-bit version of Sonic the Hedgehog.

  Johnny: ...and home to the most anti-Sonic The Hedgehog gimmick to ever grace the Blue Blur, auto-scrolling. Auto-scrolling. In a Sonic game. What in the actual fu- I can't process all this blast! What's the point of making this guy the physical manifestation of cocaine and then taking that away from me?

• And at the end of his look at the 8-bit Sonic 2, Johnny sets up a future review perfectly by asking Tails how he feels about "explosive devices."
• Johnny's first encounter with the 8-bit Sonic game's own particular fetish: Transport tubes.

Sonic Chaos and Sonic Triple Trouble Review

• Triple Trouble has springs everywhere. a lot. Leading Johnny to point out that half the time, he's going "BOING! BOING! BOING!" and how he's glad that he's on the Game Gear and not Rise of Lyric.
• After pointing out that the box art for Sonic Triple Trouble has the AOSTH version of Robotnik on it, and the fact that it looks like Sonic's poking him in the nose, Johnny dubs Robotnik over with a goofy-sounding "Duh".
• There are tubes in these games. Of course...

  Johnny: What's with these 8-bit games and FUCKING TUBES?!

Sonic Labyrinth and Sonic Blast Review

• The fact that Eggman managed to sneak into Sonic's house in his sleep - and all he did during that opportunity was to swap his shoes - makes Johnny question the fat man.

  Johnny: Motherfucker, that's your arch-nemesis! I'm not one to condone murder in a series primarily meant for kids, but come on! Burn the house down! Bust his knee caps! Shit on his toilet and don't flush! You're just swap his shoes? And that does it! I'm never taking your ass seriously again, you... round... fuck.

• While pointing out how Eggman's shoes have rendered Sonic unable to run or jump, Johnny compares him to Mr. Big...and admits that no one will get that reference.
• As Johnny states, the game's power-ups are the players' only hope...

  Johnny: IF THEY DIDN'T ALREADY GIVE YOU A FUCKING SEIZURE, JESUS CHRIST!!!

  • Cue the game's background rapidly flashing white as Sonic grabs a powerup. Not long after, the video cuts to a shot of The Simpsons suffering seizures as well.
• Johnny recalling the gripes that he had with the game as a kid:

  Johnny: Robblerobble Sonicissupposedtogo FAST, whatisthispieceof SHIIIETTTT

• And of course, when noting that Sonic Blast also has transport tubes like every other 8-Bit Sonic game before it, Johnny voices his exasperation in a particular way.
  Johnny: Augh, such a lust for laziness! TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES!!

Tails' Skypatrol & Tails Adventure Review

• The intro animation for the video, fittingly named "Dissonant Serenity".
  • The Mood Whiplash of Adventure's title screen music immediately following.
• Tails' Sky Patrol is a game where Tails cannot touch the floor or walls - or else he dies instantly. Which is why Johnny promptly calls it Miles "Tails" Prower In: THE FLOOR IS LAVA.
  • Also, referring to this game as a Do-or-Die Skypatrol.
• Poking fun at the mint candy - Tails' canonical favorite food.
  Johnny: Now I can see why - it keeps him high! *cue the rim shot* This shit rhymes itself! DON'T DO DRUGS, KIDS
• Johnny still has his Game Gear from 1995.
  Johnny: Thanks for only telling me this now, Elliot! I thought that shit was lost in the Sands of Time years ago!
• This bit during the Tails Adventure bit:
  Johnny: Sure, the island's inhabitants need to be rescued, and the Chaos Emeralds need to be found. But these assholes... interrupted Tails' beauty sleep. And I'm sorry, they need to die.
• Lampshading the overall Crazy-Prepared-sort of character that Tails sports in his Adventure game.
  Johnny: Where was this Tails in the Adventure games?
  *for a brief fraction of a second, the Sonic '06 case pops up with the caption: "THIS DOESN'T COUNT!"*
• "Haters-gonna-hate walk"
• Tails is able to use Chaos Emeralds individually, unlike his pal Sonic.
  Johnny (to Sonic): Take some notes, you blue fuckboy!
• The portable RAIDO in Tails' arsenal.
• The ending animation, which depicts smiling Tails walking away from an exploding ship in an amazing homage to the ending credits of Mega Man 7, complete with credits theme.

Shantae: Half-Genie Hero Review

• "Mighty Number FUCK"
  • The overall structure of this game also reminds Johnny a lot about Mega Man, and...
  Johnny: DontthinkaboutitdontthinkaboutitAAGHITHOUGHTABOUTIT
• The Mayor of Scuttle Town is being a dick to Shantae yet again by calling the termination of her duties as a guardian to Sequin Land.
  Gilbert Gottfried: WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!
  • EVERYONE, as Johnny points out during the plot synopsis, are being dicks to her too.
• Jake Kaufman yet again delivers the amazing soundtrack.
  Johnny (while Shantae is dancing): I wanna dance my ass off to some of these tunes!

Sonic Pocket Adventure Review

• One of the start screen options is Go to Room.
  Johnny: OK Mom, calm it down!
• Noting that this game has a lot of similarities to Sonic the Hedgehog 2... even though one of the zones is still called Sky Chase.
  Johnny: That shit is still Sky Chase! No one gave a shit about this zone...
  • Also, the bottomless pits and the Not-Chemical Plant Zone:
  Johnny: AH FUCK THEY'RE PLANTING THE SEEDS
• Johnny's reaction upon stumbled over Slicer... yet again.
  Johnny: ...Though I'm sure this is just this game's- *gets hit by Slicer* OH FUCK YOU, I KNEW IT! Kiss my fucking ass, Slicer! Taking away all my rings that I need for Special Stage that God only knows how many chances to get those and- *gets hit by Slicer again* OH, FUCKING HELL!!!
• During one of the boss battles with Dr. Robotnik, good ol' Doc himself is always trying to get higher so Sonic couldn't hit him that easily.
  Johnny: He has no reason to do that shit, by the way - but he does it anyway, you fucking moron...
  • Also, Sonic is able to jump off the explosions during said fight.

The Sonic Advance Trilogy Review

• Poor AntDude wasting all that time getting to Magfest... only for Magfest to already be over by the time he gets there.
  • He tries to get two Guest Title Cards. Johnny berates him for it.
• During the Advance 2 portion of the review, AntDude says that Cream the Rabbit is packing the so-called Weapon of Mass Destruction... a cute Chao companion called Cheese. Johnny gets a little bit dumbfounded, confusing Cheese with an actual tactical nuke.
• "This fucking music is so good..."
• AntDude is quick to point out that Johnny collected all Gold Medals in Sonic '06.
  Johnny: Firstly, that was only with Sonic - and secondly, I'm a fucking idiot. This is different, man...
  • Also, end of the flashback with Jirard the Completionist.
  Jirard: So, what's the Sonic game you're playing?
  Johnny: Sonic Advance 2.
  *Beat, with Jirard looking a bit confused*
  Jirard: Good luck, buddy!
  *cut back to Johnny's frown*
• When Johnny starts getting a little angry at the level design for Sonic Advance 3, CENSORED MODE is suddenly activated - much to his confusion. It was all AntDude's doing.
  Johnny: Don't mess with my audio effects!

The Sonic Rush Trilogy Review

• The description of Blaze the Cat in general:
  Johnny: A badass that wasn't hopelessly chasing someone, looking for a frog or obsessed with jewelry; she was a princess that did her fucking job - THAT DID HER FUCKING JOB - and was from another dimension - ANOTHER DIMENSION. And she has fire powers, too: she can ninja-kick the shit out of anything to save the cremation costs, as well.
• Johnny's dumbfounded confusion by Sonic Colors on the DS seemingly attempting to meld Sonic Rush and Sonic '06 into the same continuity. For that fact, he flips off the Sonic '06 game case at one point.
  • Speaking of Sonic '06, here comes Silver...
  Johnny: AH FUCK, HERE WE GO. The future's been fixed, right? Why the fuck is he here? And why is Blaze with him? Are they trying to pay respects to both Sonic Rush and Sonic '06? Because I can tell you right now...
  *cue the literal mind-blowing*
  Johnny: Yeah, what that guy said!
• This line when explaining Blaze's story:
  Johnny: She soon befriends Cream The Rabbit, because you're a fucking monster if you're not friends with Cream The Rabbit.
• The brief summary of the first Rush game.
  Johnny: It's boost here, boost there, don't die here- AAGH FUCK MY HAND
  • Also, noting that Super Sonic is usable only in the final stage.
  Johnny: Oh, the sky is blue? OH FUCK!
• This humorous bit during the Sonic Rush Adventure portion.
  Johnny: Who names their henchman Johnny? That's an asshole's name...
• The recurring Sensory Abuse moments. When it comes to Sonic Colors:
  Johnny: Yeahokayfuckingstop!
• The Call-Back to the console Sonic Colors version:
  Dr. Eggman: This amusement park was constructed entirely out of a sense of remorse for my past transgressions, and is in no way associated with any sort of evil plot or premeditated misdeeds.
  Dr. Wolfe: LIAR!

Sonic Racing Games Review

• Noting that Silver makes an appearance in Sonic Rivals:
  Johnny: Is this asshole just not allowed to have a good future now?
  Terminator: Judgement Day is inevitable.
  Johnny: Oh, fuck you and that cop-out!
• Johnny takes a minute to complain about having a European copy of Sonic Rivals 2.
  Johnny: The fuck is a PEGI?^explanationIts the European video games rating board, hence its acronym of "Pan European Game Information."
• Noting that one of the songs from Sonic Riders sounds like someone is "literally fucking the soundtrack".
• Johnny's first attempt at the first track in Sonic Riders left him a stuttering mess.
• In order to finally play Sonic Free Riders, Johnny is forced to use the Kinect. Hilarity Ensues...
  • First off, he takes time to poke fun at Kinect itself: it sports the filter that resembles the Predator vision. But the icing on the cake is the delivery of this line:
  Johnny: You can't hit a moving target, bitch! COME ON!
  • Calling himself "a fucking stalker".
  • While raising his arms to grab rings, Johnny briefly says: "Givin' you my energy, Goku!"
  • "Moving around at the speed of cramp..."
  • "Fly high... lesbian fox!"
  • Johnny says he looks like he's about to end an episode of a sitcom, complete with freeze-frame in mid-jump and the words "Written, Reviewed, and Edited by This Numbnuts" overlaid on the screen.
  • Probably the funniest part of that portion was towards the end, when he accidentally started another race when he was trying to sign off and stop recording footage...
  Johnny: Damn you... Damn you... DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL...
  • Another funny part is the portion where he is shown dancing with the text "DO I LOOK LIKE A FIT MOTHERFUCKER?" overlaid over the footage.
• His brief confusion at people like real life professional stock car racer Danica Patrick being in Sonic And All-Stars Racing Transformed alongside a Shogun and a Football Manager (those last two are exclusive to the PC version but still.)

Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood Review (Revisit)

• JESUS THIS MUSIC
• Johnny's surprise at what his past self said about the game.
  • And he's shocked he had hair back in 2008.
  • He also takes time to make fun of the fact that he never bothered to change the batteries in the smoke detector.
• In the backstory of The Dark Brotherhood itself, Sonic goes away - possibly for a couple of years... And because of this, Johnny thinks that the events of the Sonic Storybook Series transpired during Sonic's overdose.
• Referring to Imperator Ix as Ziggy.
• Noticing one of the Chaos headbanging:
  Johnny: Goddamn! What sort of heavy metal is he listening to if he's swinging his head that violently?

Sonic Unleashed Review (Revisit)

• Elliot has the same reaction as a lot of people when Johnny brings up Sonic Unleashed for mobile devices.
• In the middle of the video, Elliot suddenly dons his werewolf costume, and keeps it for the rest of the review. Cue Johnny giving him a very confused and hilarious look.
• Could just be the timing, as the movie debuted in theaters a few days after this review went up, but Johnny refers to the Gaia Colossus as "A Megazord that would make even Zordon blush".
• This unexpected bits:
  Johnny: We've gone beyond the slower methodical approach from the past games and went full out— YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA-
• At the end, Elliot laments the old days, where they would talk shit to each other about which game was better. Johnny suddenly gets an idea: He and Elliot play Sonic Free Riders multiplayer!

Johnny vs. the World (Season 5)

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker Review

• "The Master Sword: The Blade That Fucking Matters"
• Johnny's rant against the ocean. It only lasts about ten seconds, but it's worth a chuckle or two:
  Water, lots of water, too much fucking water, OH MY GOD, WHAT DID I DO, am I there yet, and I will rip your dick off, Tingle!
• "Under the orders of this mysterious and elusive... Ganondorf"
• While showing off the camera in the Wii U version to take selfies, one of the selfies has Link smiling while Ganondorf himself gets ready to stab him in the back.
• GIVE ME THE FUCKING SAIL

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Review

• "The Master Sword: The Blade That Tips 20%"
• When Johnny shows off the two hookshots, he starts singing a rendition of the Spider-Man theme song.
  Watch out! Here comes Skulltula-Man!
• Johnny being unnerved by some of the manic or nasty grins Midna shows off. "When she isn't thinking about poisoning my drink..." and "Given the opportunity, I think she'd actually EAT Navi..." are just some of his reactions.
  • Here it is in picture form!
• Using the boots that let him walk on the roof is compounded with a loud clang with every step.
• The mini-game that has Johnny using a device that mimics his hammer swings has Johnny constantly getting hit in the head with the large hammer.
  (bonk) Ow. (bonk) Ow. (bonk) Ow.
• The way Johnny hypes up the final battle between Link and Ganondorf in a brilliantly epic style...before Link pulls out the fishing rod and takes down an utterly pathetically distracted King of Evil.
  And so, its come to this, a one-on-one confrontation between Link and Ganondorf! A duel of fates, destinies clashing face to face, the Triforce of Power versus the Triforce of Courage! And it'll take Link every bit of his soul, to help defeat the King of E- Ooh, look at the fishing rod! Here, Ganondorf, here, look at the fishing rod! Look at the fishing here Ganondorf, here Ganon- Bing, Boom, Slash, Bam, GAME OVER, RETURN OF DUMBASS
  • That image of Ganondorf screaming in agony plays over the closing credits.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Review

• The intro features a slow zoom-in on Link's deer-in-the-headlights stare.
• "The Master Sword: The Blade That- Wow... Took A While To Get This Time"
• When talking about how he wanted the gold Wii Remote with Wii Motion Plus already installed, he inserts a clip of Goldmember yelling "I love gold!"
• Johnny's utter bafflement at how long the story is.
• While showing off the motion controls, Johnny decides to start dancing. A far cry from how much he hated the Wii's motion controls back in 2008.
• Attempting to distract Demise with the butterfly net. It doesn't work.
• When Demise curses Link and Zelda to always have to fight an incarnation of his hatred, the aforementioned image of TP Ganondorf screaming in agony is superimposed over the Demon King.
• Johnny once again shows off how hammy he can be with the return of his Mundane Made Awesome sequence from Metroid Prime 3: Corruption:
  TWIST THAT BOSS KEY! GUIDE THIS BEETLE! SKETCH THAT BACON! TURN THIS DIAL! MAKE THE EYEBALLS DIZZY! STRIKE THE SPECIFIC GEMSTONE! RIP OFF THAT ARM! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! SLICE HORIZONTALLY! SLICE VERTICALLY! AND THRUST, THRUST, THRUST!

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Review

• The intro just shows Link slowly descending with the paraglider.
• "The Master Sword: The Blade That's- OH MY GOD IT'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"
• The return of ROCK LAUNCH! HUAH!!
  • Link doesn't go very far and ends up rolling around the ground in pain.
• "I experimented", as Link wears the Gerudo Vai clothes and holds two watermelons to his chest.
• When he announces his next marathon, all he can do is let out a long sigh, telling us all how he feels about playing all those games back to back while discussing their stories.
  Johnny: Get your Darkness Counters ready, I'm gonna go get a fuckload of booze for the type of shit I'm about to step into!

Kingdom Hearts Review

• The repeated image of Johnny petting his PlayStation 2.
• There's a brief scene of Johnny gushing over his favorite Disney and Final Fantasy characters, which ends when he gets to Sephiroth and pleads for the guy to stop kicking him in the dick.
• While talking about the overall series, he mentions that not every game needs a number after it to be relevant....Except for 358/2 Days, which has too fucking many, as the text says.
• Johnny pretends to have trouble lifting one of his Keyblades.
• After giving a rather hefty infodump, we get a scene between Donald and Goofy from Deep Jungle.
  Goofy: Did you get that?
  Donald: No.
• Johnny listing the characters from Final Fantasy. When it comes to Squall:
  Squall: That's Leon.
  Johnny: Yeah, whatever, Squall!
• While going over how the Disney worlds are mainly just retellings of the stories of those worlds, he mentions how Agrabah has you keeping Jafar from taking the Genie's lamp only for him to get it anyway, and now you have to deal with Genie!Jafar by smacking the shit out of Iago.
  Gilbert Gottfried: WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!

Knuckles Chaotix Review

• Johnny prefaces the video by talking about how the Combine Ring powerup from Knuckles Chaotix reappeared in Sonic Mania, but before that he talks about the dazzling graphics, magnificent soundtrack, and the fact that the Death Egg Robot shows up in Green Hill Zone - the final point is followed up by Homer Simpson screaming in horror.
• While messing with the infamous Sonic Crackers prototype, it goes to an isometric perspective. Johnny's response?
  Johnny: Oh, *gibbering sounds* Sonic Labyrinth?! Oh, no no no no no, we're not dealing with this shit again.
  *hits a remote switch detonating Sonic Crackers off his TV and seamlessly transitioning into Knuckles Chaotix proper*
• Going over the Sega 32X advertisements, Johnny notices the rather unsubtle innuendos that even the ads call the reader out on for assuming. His response when one asks "What did you think we were talking about, you little degenerate?" to yet another joke about placing the 32X ontop of the core console?
  Johnny: Consolefucking. You were talking about consolefucking.
• The comparisons to other Sonic games don't end: when the Chaos Rings are brought up, Johnny snaps into brief Angrish again and promptly tosses Sonic and the Secret Rings in the trash when he likens them to that game's seven World Rings.
• Johnny snaps a jab at Mighty the Armadillo for being a painted-over Sonic sprite.
  Johnny: In Knuckles Chaotix, he's essentially the not!Sonic the Hedgehog. I mean, just look at his spritework, he's the original Sonic fan character.
• When talking about how Charmy the Bee breaks the game over his knee, the video randomly cuts to (presumably) Johnny tapping the game cartridge on the pavement with a hammer repeatedly.
• On the topic of Heavy and Bomb, John mentioned that he could at least get some use out of Heavy by picking him up and running into enemies with him. Bomb, on the other hand? All he has to say is "No."
• Johnny briefly sidetracks into Zoidberg noises when demonstrating that the tethered ring system can result in characters just wildly sailing through the air against all laws of physics.
• Johnny clearly praises the changes of scenery between acts of stages.
  Johnny: It's like Sonic CD made sweet love to the 32X! Hell, I could be as loon I want - didn't stop these two assholes from doing it!
  *cue more banging between Sega Genesis and 32X*
• Final boss transforms from a "little blue robot to SWEET JESUS"
• Noting how both Sonic & Tails show up at the ending.
  Johnny (as Sonic): Is it over yet?
  Johnny (as Knuckles): Kiss my ass, Sonic!
  Johnny (as Mighty): I'm just happy to be here...
• While complimenting the graphics, he mentions that it's even more colorful than Sonic CD, before cutting to one of CD's special stages with a psychedelic sky while the theme of Sonic Colors plays.
  Johnny: And that game was already- THE COLORS FEEL SO BRIIIGHT!
• A color glitch results in a golden Vector, which Johnny jokes to be Super Vector, distant relative to the Big the Cat texture clusterfuck from his Sonic Adventure review. Shortly thereafter, he encounters a certain familiar glitched echidna with ashen white skin and red eyes. While fans may know this guy as Wechnia, Johnny instead dubs him "Numbles the Coke-fiend."
• How does Johnny compromise to the Kingdom Hearts fans for sidetracking with this review? By photoshopping & Knuckles onto the Kingdom Hearts logo.
• When this video was debuted at Too Many Games 2017, the short portion where Johnny talks about SegaSonic the Hedgehog (the arcade game where Mighty the Armadillo first appeared) ended up being so loud that it drowned out the commentary. John responded to this error by saying "That's what we call a Video Error, by the way!"

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories Review

• The review begins with Johnny and his friend Russ first playing Kingdom Hearts II way back in 2006. Johnny's idea of portraying his 19-year-old self is with a messy afro.
  • Also, the whole flashback is in black and white - even though 2006 was just over ten years ago.
  • Russ shows a lot of confusion at the things seen in the first three hours of the game, with Johnny continuously saying: "They were in the last game." Which Russ thinks it means the original Kingdom Hearts. It gets to the point where Johnny finally snaps:
  Johnny: Chain of Memories, Russ! They're all answered in Chain of Memories! Jesus! Fuck anime!"
• "Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix Plus Combo PacKKGH"
  • That hilarious-as-fuck face of Johnny on KKGH moment.
• Johnny's reason for Sora, Donald, and Goofy camping out? Pluto is an asshole.
• Johnny essentially calls the game "an abridged series of an abridged series."
  Johnny: WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND THAT ONE.
• While discussing how the player can summon Donald and Goofy via cards, Johnny mentions how Goofy wrecks shit up with his shield attacks, but Donald... not so much.
  Johnny: Really? You're gonna cast Fire Magic on the guy that uses FIRE. I! Will! Eat you!
  • Complete with Donald being wreathed in flames.
• Comparing the card mechanic to Yu-Gi-Oh! results in this:
  Johnny: Draw! Goofy Cardo! Draw! Donald Cardo! Draw! Mickey Cardo!

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy Review

• Johnny lampshades his Schedule Slip right in the very beginning.
  Johnny: Will there ever be a point where I follow Kingdom Hearts video with another Kingdom Hearts video?
• Johnny doing the Crash dance along with ''Caddicarus on the latter's collaboration video about the same game.
  • That menacing Death Glare with filters on when Johnny says: "That's how that works."
  • Speaking of Caddicarus:
  Caddicarus: (While covering Johnny's head with a sack} YOUMUPPETYMALICIOUSMONKEY
  Johnny: He's such a nice man...
• OH GOD THESE GAMES ARE OVER TWENTY YEARS OLD
• Johnny tries to replicate the running-in-place gig from Crash's dance routine. Unfortunately, his legs are hurt like Hell after that, thanks to Johnny's composure.
• The obnoxious drawback from the first Crash Bandicoot game - being able to get the Box Gem only in one single life - was finally corrected in N.Sane Trilogy release. Johnny is quick to gush about this with Zoidberg noises while Crash himself hilariously deforms in the air.
• Johnny shows that he did the 100% Completion of the original Crash Bandicoot more times than necessary.
  Johnny: I got nothing left to prove, goddammit! I just wanna FUCKING RELAX!
  *cue Crash getting bombarded with missing boxes*
  • Despite all other tweaks, the platforming can still be N.SANELY N.TENSE.
  • Also, the Stormy Ascent level which was cut from the original game because it was considered to be too difficult.
  Johnny: TOO DIFFICULT. IN CRASH 1. FUCKING HELL.

Kingdom Hearts II Review

• The intro has one bit of Sora, Donald, and Goofy dancing almost in time with the music.
• The incredibly abridged summary of the first two games.
• Just as Johnny starts to explain the concept of Nobodies, he says: "Buckle down, boys and girls..."
• This bit during the above.
  Johnny: Where do Namine's memory powers come from?
  Roxas: Shut up!
  Johnny: Well said, Roxas.
• As Johnny discusses how Roxas has resigned to his fate, we get "HOORAY! Sora, Donald, and Goofy are back!"
• Referring to DiZ as The Walking Belt Buckle.
• While discussing Axel's role, Johnny takes a second to laugh at the quick line about him having a change of heart.
• It's a bit amusing hearing Johnny lament on how the series takes itself so seriously despite him wanting them to give the occasional Mythology Gag from time to time.
• Johnny admits the only reason he considers himself even a casual fan is because of the Disney and Final Fantasy fan service.
  Johnny: You should have seen my face when Setzer and Vivi showed up, and when Hades called up Auron, oh my god I needed a change of pants!
  • This culminates in his brief gushing over Toy Story in Kingdom Hearts III.
• Donald and Goody, the result of a typo in the original game's manual.
• Supplementing Atlantica with footage from The Addams Family.
• "Next week is August 15. You know what that means... Ben Affleck's birthday. Happy birthday, you son of a bitch!"

Sonic Mania Review

• When stating the plot of the game, he makes a passing comment of how sporadic he is with his Kingdom Hearts reviews
  Johnny: So in a journey across time and space... Sora, Donald, and Goof- -ahem, sorry, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles...
• He tries to remain normal for a majority of the review, but by the end of it, he puts the nostalgia glasses on and doesn't take them off, going full Motor Mouth with everything he likes and callbacks to his old Sonic reviews. Also counts as a Heartwarming moment to see Johnny so damn euphoric!
• His reaction to Knuckles & Knuckles mode.
  Johnny: One's a beatnik, one's a Rastafarian!
• Writing his channel's logo in rings with Debug Mode while also skipping Chemical Plant zone because he doesn't like the Mean Bean Machine boss.
• The entire fanboy diatribe at the end is chock-full of pure happiness and contains just as much Rapid-Fire Comedy in itself...
  Johnny: Sonic Mania is a nostalgia-filled love letter to old fans, but can be a tad alienating and maybe even slightly confusing to newcomers as far as visual appeal goes. That said, seeing as I AM a longtime fan... *excited squealing* JESUS CHRIST, THIS GAME LOOKS INCREDIBLE! The color palette is so rich, there's so many more frames of animation! Sonic, Tails and Knuckles all look so great - oh, it's GREAT to see them like this again! Where's my Saturn release? I'LL BUY TWENTY! And the music, Tee my man... Holy shit, this soundtrack is like my next cup of coffee laced with COCAINE! All the remixes of the old zones are top notch, and the music for the new zones is SO FUCKING GOOD! Press Garden Act 2 - GodDAMN, I love this stage: it's so serene, and the music - EEEAAAAH! The controls are perfect: none of Sonic 4's stop-and-go bullshit, I roll down hills and loops, and I go faster and faster, and there's actual fucking flow to my movements! BLUE SPHERE! Oh, it's GOOD seeing this come back! We got layouts returning from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, and we got some brand new layouts- I fucking missed the Perfect again for the fifth time, but I got plenty more chances to get those medals! AND THE MEDALS! Ooh, I can unlock a Sound Test and listen to these songs like in Sonic CD, and DEBUG MODE IS BACK! I can make stupid shit with rings and end stages early because FUCK PUYO PUYO! Knuckles & Knuckles! One's a beatnik, one's a Rastafarian! Is that the Death Egg Robot in Green Hill Zone? THERE IS NO GOD!! HOLY SHIT, BALOOKLALOOK- Its ME who's riding the Egg-O-Matic! EAT SHIT, ROBOTNIK!!! I can use a Flame Shield in Oil Ocean! Oh my God, I CAN SET THE OIL ON FIRE! I've always wondered what would happen if you threw a match into this place since my old Sonic 2 review, and they answered that! THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING ANSWERED THAT! I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!!! SUPER SONIC! YEAH, I can comfortably grab all the Chaos Emeralds and abuse this son of a bitch JUST LIKE BEFORE, and I also don't have to worry about hearing the invincibility theme loop every 5 Goddamn seconds - seriously, that shit was THE WORST! Just don't transform near a spinning drum- Knuckles, what the fuck are you doing? Tails - you too, is this a fucking trend?! And where's your FLICKY ARMY OF DEATH? Sonic, cut that shit out! Yeah, I ran into a few collision issues here and there, but it rarely affected my total experience and maybe that too is a call back to Sonic CD on the Sega CD! JESUS, THIS GAME-
  *cut to Johnny*
  ...is a textbook example of nostalgic pandering, but I DON'T FUCKING CARE! Sonic Mania is amazing, you should GO FUCKING BUY IT, SHOW SEGA WHERE THE MONEY IS, AND HOPEFULLY THIS WILL LEAD TO MORE ORIGINAL SHIT! It's like Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy! I LOVE THAT GAME! Just how I love Sonic Mania! Fu- what are you waiting for?! Go fucking buy- I'll see you in Kingdom Hearts! GO BUY- GO FUCKING-
  *cut to credits* DAMN, THIS IS SO GOOD...

Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days Review

• Not in this video itself, but in the first Kingdom Hearts video, there's a brief shot of the Kingdom Hearts timeline, and even though Johnny says not every game needs a number after it to be the main title, a subtitle appears under this game reading "Except this one, which has too fucking many".
• This:
  Johnny: So do we get some sort of characterization for the rest of the Organization members? NOPE!
• At one point, Johnny refers to himself as a "sexual can of Spam".
• Johnny admitting to falling asleep while on a Neverland mission.
• Hoping that Axel, Xion and Roxas would get diabetes after eating truckloads of ice cream over the course of the game.
  • Even Johnny admits his dislike for a particular line in the game by simply saying: "That line, though? Sucks." Yeah, you all know the line.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep Review

• Johnny's jab at his own Schedule Slip regarding the Kingdom Hearts marathon constantly being interrupted by other games.
  Johnny: Could it be? I'm following a Kingdom Hearts video with another Kingdom Hearts video? What is this, some sort of marathon?
• The cover gives us this gem:
  Johnny: Don't know who these other two are, but why is Roxas here?
• Johnny figures that if Xehanort wants to find Ventus's body in Castle Oblivion, he'll have to get past that card battle mechanic.
  • Of course, there's also the whole "To find is to lose and lose is to find" memory wiping thing.
• As a nice callback, after Johnny gives a lengthy explanation about why Roxas looks like Ventus due to the latter taking refuge in Sora's heart and Roxas taking on Ventus's appearance, we get this:
  Goofy: Did you get that?
  Donald: No.
• The return of the Metroid alarm.
• Johnny's remarks about how the game doesn't even try to hide the fact that Master Xehanort is the bad guy. Especially the delivery of these lines, complete with close-ups on Xehanort's face:
  Johnny: [Terra's] inner darkness gets out of hand for a second, which I'm sure Master Xehanort would know nothing about, because just fucking look at him!!!
  Johnny: (about the disappearance of Xehanort and the appearance of the Unversed) Hoping the two aren't connected, to which I say, "What do you fucking think???", Eraquis sends Terra and Aqua to check on the situation.
• Johnny mentioning that the reason Master Xehanort wants to start another Keyblade War...was because he was curious.
  George Carlin: What are you, fucking stupid?!
• "And if you think it couldn't get any worse for the man, we've still got the game's climax." Cue Emperor Palpatine laughing while wearing a Disney hat.

Metroid: Samus Returns Review

• One bit of the theme song has Samus descending an elevator, with the theme music acting like elevator music.
• While showing off the game's exclusive Amibos, Johnny spends a few seconds poking the Metroid Amibo while saying "Give me Hyper Beam".

Kingdom Hearts coded Review

• After the intro, Johnny doesn't even introduce the game. He just stares at the camera for a few seconds while holding his DS.
• "We get a re-tread of a re-tread of a re-tread! What in the blue fuck?..."
• The entire Spaceballs bit when Mickey and company find themselves digitized in the journal.
• Due to the fact that the game tries to turn the word "hurt" into a noun, Johnny mentions how the game's writing "fills him with hurt".

Kingdom Hearts 3D [Dream Drop Distance] Review

• How does Johnny start this review? By asking his viewers to join him for one last trip to hell.
• At one point, there's a random clip of some guy getting hit by a machine that keeps slapping him while he's trying to sleep.
• Johnny doesn't like the drop meter, and while in the middle of discussing it, he suddenly drops....Into an Ant Dude video. Anthony continues as though nothing happened until HE drops, and Johnny has just enough time to take a drink of coffee while flipping off the drop meter before he can potentially drop again.
• This line:
  Johnny: This game has time travel. ''disgusted sigh''
• To round out both the video and the marathon, Johnny takes a few seconds to poke fun at how he kept getting distracted by other games in between.

Sonic Forces Review

• There's something oddly humorous about seeing Johnny's first avatar wearing a dapper-looking tuxedo while also having this dead look in his eyes.
• Johnny takes a moment out of the story recap to point out the stupidity of the PS4's warning about gameplay recording being blocked during certain scenes.
• The return of the "War is hell" scene.
• Upon showing off his new avatar, Johnny names her "Cat The Blaze".
  Johnny: I had to fill the gap somehow.
• This:
  Johnny: What is coherency in this franchise?
• Johnny decides to nickname Infinite "Mephiles with an even lamer backstory".
• He names his third avatar Frank, a guy with a great fashion sense but has seen the end of days and likes to lurk under your bed while reciting lyrics from Guns N Roses songs.
  Johnny: What?
• In a bit of Caption Humor, Johnny adds a picture of Super Sonic, saying he's future DLC, along with Sanic shirts.

Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back Review

• "What the actual shit?" at the beginning.
• Bubsy didn't had any pounce attack before because "you know, HE'S A FUCKING BOBCAT".
• Johnny's infuriation by Bubsy's talking during the game which culminates with this:
  Bubsy: Double Pounce! Multi-Pounce! Ultra Pounce!
  George Carlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
• For Johnny, the new Bubsy game itself being worth $30 is fucking laughable.

Super Mario Odyssey Review

• This video is full of nods and callbacks to the Mario 64 review, and it starts right from the very beginning.
  Mario: Hey, are you ready to Mario-cise?
  Johnny: Mother of God...
• There's a bit of the intro with Mario, dressed as Luigi, and Pauline dancing seemingly in time with the theme music.
  • This bit returns for the end credits.
• When Johnny start talking about the possession ability, we suddenly cut to the vomiting scene from The Exorcist.
• While possessing a Cheep-Cheep, Johnny runs into Unagi's bigger, scarier cousin, Maw-Ray. Maw-Ray lets out the same roar Unagi did, and when we cut back to Johnny, all we see is his hat on the now empty couch, as he has clearly run for the hills.
  Mario: That's a moray! Get it? A moray eel? I made a funny.
  Johnny (offscreen): FUCK YOU!
• One scene has Johnny possessing a Moe-Eye and just staring at the screen for a few seconds.
• When Johnny starts talking about the alternate outfits Mario can purchase, he shows off the NES golf outfit, upon which "Living In America" starts playing. The Mario head decides that that was his idea of showing off American advertisements, before randomly doing his impression of an airplane.
• Johnny is absolutely ecstatic when he finds out he can possess Hammer Brothers and Charging Chucks.
  Gilbert Gottfried: WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!
  Johnny (absolutely giddy): That's me! He's talking about me!
• Several scenes involve Mario running around in nothing but his swim shorts and the hat, which comes to a head when he's running around in the swim short sand aviator cap while running around New Donk City.
  Johnny: Ah shit, Grandpa got out of the attic again! Grandpa, no, that's not your Vespa! Someone get him off that thing before he gets someone — Oh, I'm so sorry! What the hell are you doing, Grandpa?! (that last scene as Mario's hopping around a snow level in nothing but his shorts)
• Johnny sees Poochy and has the appropriate reaction.
  Oh fuck.
  • And then he yells at Poochy when he hooks him with the Lakitu.
  GODDAMN IT POOCHY!
• When Johnny starts talking about how the Cappy hat doesn't fit his head, Mario chimes in with this:
  Mario: Hey, you got a good joke for Mario?
  Johnny: Your face!
  • And then, when Johnny signs off, the Mario head just floats away. Johnny just walks off, completely done with this shit.
• ”Goooooooooold~”

Cuphead Review

• This bit:
  Johnny: Cuphead is pretty fucking challenging... definitely not the kind of game I would recommend to those looking for a comfortable spring time breeze, it's more suitable to those that enjoy harsh winter's ball-kicking!
  *Cue the video where one guy is literally kicking the balls of another during winter*
  • Of course, Johnny decides to play this game solo because no one would like to "get kicked in the dick repeatedly" along with him.
  *Cue the same video where guys screaming their asses off in tremendous pain*
• "Classic mentality during the boss battles". The one that makes Johnny say:
  Johnny: Just one more time, just one more time, I'll get you this time, motherfucker!
  • FUCKMEIMGONNADIE
• "A delightful ensemble of energetic jazz and swing that kinda makes you wanna dance and sing"

A Hat in Time Review

• Yet another name gives Johnny problems with the correct pronounciation: Jonas Kaerlev. And yet, he still takes some liberties by calling him Jonas Kevlar.
• Johnny's utter glee at the fact that he can get the hookshot.
• Noting that this game contains the balls of yarn that are actually useful.
  Johnny (to Bubsy): Take some notes, you fucking fuck!
  Johnny (a bit later, still to Bubsy): Still taking notes down? Good... you fuck.

Go, Diego, Go!: Great Dinosaur Rescue Review

• This entire damn episode is full of funny moments. First off, the intro only lasts for about a second, before cutting to Johnny sitting on the couch, drinking a cup of coffee and sighing in defeat.
• Much like last time, Johnny is confused as to why THIS is the first game in the Donator's Marathon.
• Dora the Explorer - or as the Personal Wiki labels it, "Dora the Motherfucking Explorer."
• Johnny comparing the stills on the title screen to looking like something ripped off an old America Online page.
• Upon sitting through the logos and seeing High Voltage Software logo, which is shaped like a "Danger: High Voltage" sign, Johnny abruptly chucks the game in fear.
  Johnny: Damn! These guys don't fuck around...
• Upon seeing Diego and Alicia literally jump back through time, he wonders if Diego's mom fucked a TARDIS.
  • And then... he hears dinosaurs speaking Spanish language:
  Johnny: They were a pretty advanced race for their time. Pity about them going extinct, though...
• This:
  Johnny: Maia the Maiasaura. Very original name there: they also have Rex the T-Rex or Steggy the Stegosaurus?
  • Complete with the dinosaurs wearing top hats.
• Maia blocks Troodons' path with a large rock instead of, as Johnny puts it, "just fucking bash their skulls with a damn thing."
• "Diego and his pet... jaguar? HOLY SHIT"
• "There's this one dinosaur that can't reach the top of this tree to eat some leaves, and Diego needs to tell him to stand on his hind legs in order to do so. You're telling me how the fuck did he survive that long without knowing that?"
  • Immediately after that:
  Alicia: Look, Diego! That triceratops is stuck in the tar pit!
  Johnny Oh, fuck that guy. I'm sorry, read the books: you're a lost cause, then...
• When Johnny gets to a segment where he has to stomp the ground to make some Troodon think it's an earthquake, he points out that the Troodon are looking right at Diego and Maia's fucking faces, and that should be the end of the game right there, complete with the raptor scene from Jurassic Park.
  • The Jurassic Park thing returns for another segment, only this time the "Ah-ah-ah! You didn't say the magic word!" thing.
• Chasing the fucking T-Rex by making Richard Nixon impressions.
• Apparently, Diego has driver's license:
  Johnny: How old is this kid again? 8?! Oh fuck, Mexico is hardcore as shit!
• "You can't just go messing with shit in the past, Diego! You may helping the dinosaurs, but you just fucked the ecosystem, buddy!"
• When talking about the motion controls, Johnny points out the little icon in the lower left side of the screen.
  Johnny: That guy right there is really shoveling the shit out of that dirt. And woah! Okay, I'll shimmy to climb up some vines, but I ain't spanking my own ass to further your agenda, you sick fucks!
  • He still shows them off during the credits, including the one where he has to smack his ass.
  • Then again, Johnny shows that you don't even have to do the movements as intended: just shake the Remote. What really sells it is the epic bored look on his face.
• Calling the collectable badges "Ego Scout Badges".
• The game's end credits screen just has a black void in the background, so Johnny edits in the T-Rex eating the lawyer.

Dragon Power (or rather, Dragon Ball: Shenron no Nazo^explanationDragon Ball: Mystery of Shenron) Review

• Johnny brings up the Harmony Gold dub, complete with the infamous scene where Korin calls himself "Whiskers the Wonder Cat."
• Him making fun of Bulma's (sorry, Nora's) mouth movements by overlapping it with "Wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah".
  • She still sounds like that in The Stinger.
• The reasoning that the translators for the game thought the Dragon Balls were actually a dragon's "balls," just like what Goku did in the original manga.
• Referring to Buyon as Jabba the Hutt.
• When talking about the well-known scene where Master Roshi (sorry, the Hermit) asks to see Nora's panties, it's instead changed to burgers and sandwiches. The following scene involves the Hermit being surrounded by sandwiches and is implied to still have a Nosebleed.
  Johnny: Did we just witness a burger orgy?
  • Later: "(Goku's health) starts at a reasonable 100, but it'll soon drain faster than the Hermit with a Big Mac."
• Every single boss in the game is a war of attrition... except for Yamcha (sorry, Lancer).
  Johnny: The next time someone asks you what Yamcha's spirit animal is, you don't say "wolf," you say "Toad Man."

Naruto: Clash of Ninja Review

• As Johnny's about to introduce the video, he gets a call from Elliot informing him that the new SGB video is ready to go. When Johnny mentions that he's reviewing this game, Elliot uses a teleport-jutsu to appear in a puff of smoke, scaring the hell out of Johnny.
  Johnny: What the fuck?!
  • He does it again at the end.
• Johnny wonders if the overly repeated "Believe it" is Naruto's catch phrase; Elliot comments that Johnny is about 10 years too late on that observation.
• Johnny has to stop one of his comments about the game to question why Naruto suddenly turned into a woman.
• Since Elliot's already here, Johnny decides to let him pick a game from the donator's box. The first thing Elliot sees upon seeing it? "This thing is dusty as shit."
• Elliot leaves the same way he came in, interrupting Johnny's outro line and nearly making him spill his coffee.
  Johnny: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!

Enter the Matrix Review

• Throughout the review, Johnny does his best Morpheus impression, complete with sunglasses.
  Johnny: Greetings. Welcome back. I must apologize for the wait; I've been a little... preoccupied. (takes off sunglasses and turns off Matrix Code filter; in normal voice) No, on a serious note, I hate this time of the year, planning for cons— PAX East, MomoCon, TooManyGames, not to mention it's tax season, and that's always a f— (puts sunglasses back on, filter reactivates)
• Johnny actually got two versions of the game from different fans.
  Johnny: If I look at the GameCube version, the story ends, you wake up in your bed, and you believe what you want to believe. If I look at the PlayStation 2 version, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
  (camera pans toward GameCube version)
  Johnny: (nods) Very well. (inserts disc into GameCube and turns on the power)
  (the main menu is shown; graphics and audio glitch, then an error message is displayed)
  Johnny: (in normal voice) Welp, looks like we're staying in Wonderland...

The Stanley Parable Review

• Johnny lists the things that Stanley can do in this game.
  Johnny: You can open and close doors, you can can turn computer monitors on and off and push buttons to maybe open a secret passage, or stop a cardboard baby from getting incinerated!
  • An achievement... for the jump. "Yeah, no shit!"

Dark Souls Review

• Johnny's theme song goes on as normal, until we see footage of Johnny fighting a boss and dying.
• Referring to one of the bosses as a chunky-chunk fuck.
• "I have no idea what I'm doing here, so fuck it"
• A particular moment occurs at the end, where Johnny claims that there is something that is far more difficult and horrifying compared to making the review, and that is... raising his new newborn kitten, Selene.
  • Adding to the humor is when Johnny tries to bro-fist Selene after inviting her to the family.
  Johnny: That's the beginning of our friendship, Selene. Gimme a bro fist!
  Selene: Meow... (kitten turns away)
  Johnny: OK, you'll do it later...
• Instead of the usual credits theme at the end of the episode, we got the "Sun-Worshipper" monologue from George Carlin himself.

Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon Review

• Johnny notes how the castle at the distance resembles a human hand.
• Unlike all the members of Belmont Clan, Zangetsu is able to jump on stairs. Unfortunately, he can't jump off them when needed. That's the reason why Johnny notes that Zangetsu practices safety protocols... selectively.
• "Old-school, unforgiving, miserable knockback".
• Zangetsu can kill his would-be companions upon meeting them - and he gets their powers in return! No wonder why Johnny is quick to call him an asshole.
• At one point, Johnny uses the soundtrack from Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse. And it surprisingly fits well... that is, until he falls into the bottomless pit by accident.

Castle Crashers Review

• Honest Biggums interrupts Johnny playing with his kitten with a phone call.
• Honest Biggums gets 2 title cards, one with his real name and one with the name Johnny gives him, "Big Gums".
  • And despite Biggums' pleas, Johnny keeps calling him "Big Gums" throughout the review.
• The credits have Johnny's character headbanging while Biggums' character is doing an Irish jig.
• Johnny is playing with Selene the kitty throughout the video, culminating in:
  Johnny: Asshole's right at the camera.

Mega Man X Review

• Johnny's observation of Dr. Cain's computer at the intro screen in general.
  Johnny: HOLY shit, over 32,000 TERABYTES of memory? This motherfucker's got the entirety of Pornhub in there, god damn!
  • "Probably 20 USB-ports up his ass or some other shit"
  • Johnny comparing the bright, colourful and happy atmosphere of Mega Man Classic and its generally kid-friendly protagonist to starting up X for the first time, reading all his schematics and Dr. Light's warning message and learning that THIS MOTHERFUCKER WILL KILL YOU
• "Hey, how's it going, everybody? Yeah, I'm Sigma, hey!"
• "The world is not yet ready for this sleeping technology, but they were perfectly okay with Clown Man"
• Johnny's reaction to the Hadouken requirements:
  Johnny: Dr. Light, what the fuck is wrong with you, man?
  Dr. Light: That's a good question.
• Killing Vile with a "Yeahhadoukentothefacemotherfucker!"
• Johnny looks at the iPhone port. His smile and optimism: gone.
  • Voldemort: “EH HEH HEH!”

Mega Man X2 and Mega Man X3 Review

• "WOOOOOOAAAAAAH" with a precious shots of wireframe objects.
• Palpatine's laugh returns once again when Johnny mentions that Mavericks are planning to "turn Zero to the Dark Side".
• Johnny's guesses about Zero's creator:
  Johnny: Could it be Dr. Cain? Dr. Light? Perhaps Willy?
  *cue the laughter from a certain Mad Scientist*
• Johnny's guesses about X's eradication of his old weapons:
  Johnny: What the fuck is that about? Did he leave them in the wash? Did he outgrow them, or leave them in his duffel bag?
  Certain Merc with a Mouth (with photoshopped head of X): GODDAMMIT!!!
• Johnny's reaction to the awesome armor upgrades of X2:
  Johnny: Dr. Light, where the fuck was this shit earlier?
  Dr. Light: That's a good question.
• As Johnny notes to his amusement, the Sigma Virus wireframe graphic at the end of X2 kept his wacky Stallone lip from X1 intact.
• While watching the intro of PlayStation version of X3, Johnny notes one shot in which Dr. Doppler can't keep his mouth closed.
  *cue certain goat scream*
• "X must destroy Zero." (Beat) "I'm sorry, wha-"
  • For those wondering, this was a translation error, and the original text simply said that X is destined to fight Zero one day.
• Johnny's explanation of Zero being so limited of use in X3? "He's on his union break, motherfucker!"
  • Surprisingly, he doesn't even mention the fact that Zero is unavailable for the rest of the game if he dies once.
• "Dr. Light, wha- what're you doing? Why you're being an abusive father now?"
• The reaction to Bit and Byte's combined form's name: "Godkarmachine O Ina- OH WOW"

Mega Man X4 Review

• The montage of all the "questionable" voice acting in this game, which ends with this:
  Zero: WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOR?!?!?
  Dr. Light: That's a good question.
• While mentioning the Sky Lagoon crashing into Earth, Johnny inserts the clip "Oh, shit...".
• The fact that neither Zero nor the Repliforce's Colonel are willing to actually calm down and talk their situation out like Iris would want because HRRNNGBUTMUHPRIDE
• The Repliforce fighters have to escape to the only place where they will be safe from Maverick Hunters...
  Premier Cherdenko: SPACE!
• Johnny doesn't feel anything about Iris' death in general, mostly due to her and Zero's relationship feeling very forced. Summed up by this quote:
  Johhny: Fuck it, maybe I've gone Maverick...
• Johnny saying that Sigma had a memory lapse after reminding Zero that he was the commander of the Maverick Hunters - and Zero was a Maverick in the first place; yet the dialogue afterwards says that he was "surprised" that Zero was a Maverick himself.
  Sigma: Where's that Red Maverick that wiped out Gamma's unit?
  Johnny (as Sigma): Wait, Zero! You were a Maverick?!
  • Justified because Sigma "really got his shit wrecked" at that time.
• When Johnny mentions the two separate arm parts, he believes that he "finally caught Dr. Light's messages on a good day."
• Johnny is not particularly fond of the charge shot sound because it overlaps the stage music with WHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
  • The near-perfect delivery of this sound is what really sells it.

Mega Man X5 and Mega Man X6 Review

• Johnny's reason for playing X5's original PlayStation version and not the recently released X Legacy Collection 2 version ^note  Aside for some glitches on the Switch ? He liked the localized name Duff McWhalen more than original Tidal Whale.
• His reaction to the infamous Squid Adler landchaser section's cheap shot (as in Johnny has a fraction of a second to jump or else ride right into a death pit before the game finishes saying "READY?" at him) is a deadpan "Nope I sure wasn't!"
• Johnny's confusion about the X5's Parts mechanic results with this:
  Johnny: Did you catch any of that?
  • Which is overlaid by Douglas' (sorry, Doglas') frowned face.
• This bit at the end of plot synopsis (X5):
  Johnny: Do you remember Dynamo? The fuck happened to him?
• When Johnny brings up X5's call-backs to past Mega Man games (Classic series and X alike), he makes one of his own by mentioning the FUCKING SHADOW DEVIL.
• Calling Gate's Powered Armor "Sentai Gear".
• His reaction to the infamous "I hid myself while I tried to repair myself" bullshit is to explain why Zero's alive again in X6.
• Johnny compares Mega Man X6 with Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) in terms of limitless game-breaking possibilities. What really sells it is this comment he gives afterwards:
  Johnny: That ain't an accolade, for the record: that's just me being a stubborn dumbass.
• Johnny rants at the end of the episode. Then realization comes:
  Johnny: Oh shit! The camera's still on!

Mega Man Xtreme and Mega Man Xtreme 2 Review

• One of the intro cutscenes of Xtreme 1 depicts X as if he is sleeping while standing.
• Making fun of Vile's Japanese name, even calling him Vava Fett afterwards.
• Sigma's "cat-like grin".
• Johnny gets annoyed while fighting the double-headed sphinx boss in Xtreme 2:
  Johnny: Seriously, fuck this guy! Who designed this dickhead? The guys who made Mega Man & Bass?

Mega Man X7 Review

• When Johnny hears who voices Axl, he can't help but cringe.
• Comparing the whole thing about Axl between the Maverick Hunters and Red Alert to a child custody case, complete with a picture.◊
• Johnny claims that this game is under the definition of Meandering. Cut to a page showing it with the following:
  "holy fuck, Megaman X7 is meandering."
  synonyms: slow-motion, knee-deep in mud, stuck in a mouse trap
  antonyms: literally anything else
• Johnny has to chew the game out for constantly asking him if he's sure he wants to save after choosing the Save function and for Alia constantly reminding him about what his chips do.
• Feel lucky you never heard of Flame Hyenard before? Cue Johnny showing a montage of the infamous "BURN TO THE GROUND!".

Mega Man X8 Review

• While Johnny is happy that weapon upgrades are shared among the three main characters, he can't help but notice "the lack of proper English" on "Weapon Get" screen:
  Johnny: Oh shit, now it feels like I'm collecting Shine Sprites from Super Mario Sunshine!
  • To compound this, he plays the Super Mario Sunshine victory music over this screen, which is then followed with a zoom-in on Zero and WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR?!?!? playing.
• Judging the return of Vile - who the game tries to pretend has been X and Zero's arch-nemesis for the longest time, despite his only appearances apart from this game being way back in X1 and X3:
  Johnny: "Arch-nemesis", my ass!
• The heroes's faces never emote past "I-think-I-left-my-wallet-in-the-taxi-cab" sort of expression.
• Comparing Palette's hair piece to someone ripping a stapler in half and slapping it on her head.
  • Speaking of the rest of female Navigators, we get this:
  Johnny: They gave Alia boobs now, because I guess it wasn't obvious enough that she was a girl before. And this new Navigator, Layer - I mean, I love a good underboob, - but this is a bit much...
• There's a bit where Johnny is just repeatedly shooting a miniboss as Axl to gather chips, if only so he can highlight just how easy it can be to rack up the money.
• When he encounters a certain type of enemy:
  Johnny: These things are more expendable than the Servbots from Mega Man Legends!
• While looking over the Legacy Collections in general, Johnny makes note of their product gallery, and how it painstakingly details all the books and toys this subseries got over the years. Of course, he also has a chuckle at the Mega Armor Series "Iron Buster" X figure - and how he has a helmet on that's way too big for his head, looking more like a goofy cosplayer. The second chuckle comes from one of the books it lists - Maverick Report, the front cover of which decided to play up X's conflicted nature by having him crying on the cover.
  • Johnny also goes over the Collections' Rookie Hunter mode for new players. He does it by comparing the damage done by enemy collision in the original Mega Man X3:
    *loses almost half of his life bar* Fuck...
  • ...to the damage done by the same factor with Rookie Hunter mode turned on:
    *loses a fraction of his life bar this time* Much better.
  • Compounding this, Johnny asks his fans to give the Collections a try... and attempts to appeal to their good nature by asking them not to "make X cry" while showing the cover of Maverick Report again.

Mega Man 11 Review

• This is what Johnny tells about the Arc Weldy's sad expression:
  Johnny: Fuck, man... I'd relate so goddamn much, but now I gotta shoot you. You're in my way...
• In the present, Light regrets the decision he made about Wily's Double Gear System in the past. But...
  Johnny: Too late for that, buddy: you fucked him, dude!
  *cue the laughter from Wily*
• "You don't taunt super happy fun balls, motherfucker!"
• Trying to get Energy Tank in Bounce Man's stage while bouncing back-and-forth:
  Johnny (furiously): CONFOUNDTHESEBALLOONSIJUSTWANTMYDAMNENERGYDRINK
• "Look at Auto and Roll there, hiding in the back: that's the taste of fear!"

Mega Man X: Command Mission Review

• Johnny sums up the game's plot before the full synopsis by taking the box of the original X game and literally stretching it out - complete with a goofy sound effect.^note The game's plot is basically the same as any standard Mega Man X game (except Sigma is not a bad guy this time around, 'cause he's absent), just lengthened to fit a long RPG rather than a short platformer.
• When Colonel Redips is revealed to be Big Bad all along: unenthusiastic DUM-DUM-DUUUM
• Referring to Cinnamon as "White Mage Bitch." Twice.
• Johnny wondering if the Reploids can have robo-children by fucking.
• X doing Michael Jackson's pose. ("Aaow!")
• The advertisements at the end of this episode also have moments:
  • One of the shirts that Johnny requested has his - as he put it - "shit-eating" face.
  • Call-Back to Sonic Mania: referring to Tee Lopes as "sexy motherfucker".

Haunted Castle and Castlevania Chronicles Review

• To start with, Johnny's utter bafflement at how many ports there are of Castlevania 1....Even though this is coming from the guy who owns way too many copies and ports of the original Sonic the Hedgehog.
  Johnny: It's like some unwritten law where every time a new system comes out they have to put the original game on there.
• From the Haunted Castle portion:
  • When Johnny starts playing and sees the amount of damage a single zombie can do, the only thing he can say is a half-shocked "Shit".
  • Like with Dark Souls, the theme song is interrupted by Johnny dying, only this time with Simon's death scream and the Game Over music.
  • His interpretations of the goofy expressions Dracula has on both the advertisements and the game's title screen, ranging from "What the fuck is that smell?" to "What's this I got here? What is that?"
  • Johnny can't help but note that the opening to this game is note for note the opening to Ghosts 'n Goblins. Simon/Arthur is hanging out with Serena/Prin-Prin but then that lousy Dracula/Satan kidnaps her.
  Johnny (as Dracula): 'Sup, bitch?
  • Simon's walk cycle.
  Johnny: I wouldn't call this a Belmont Strut, it's more like a "Belmont Stomach Cramp". He ain't looking for his wife - he's looking for the nearest public restroom...
  • Noting that Simon's damage animation makes it look like he's about to start break dancing.
  • And speaking of odd postures, there's Johnny's replication of how Simon looks on the map screen, complete with his back turned, half-squatted and goofily holding a cross out in front of him.
  Johnny (non-chalantly): It's like, what the fuck is this? Who does this shit?
  • The odd, random bit where he's transported to another dimension and fights some harpies, noting that it never happens again after that.
  • Also, noting that Dracula's final form deflates like a balloon. Complete with a goofy sound.
• From the Castlevania Chronicles portion:
  • Calling the Castlevania Judgement version of Simon "Buff Light Yagami".
  • At first, it sounds like he's praising the game, given how much he seems to gush about the graphics and the music... before suddenly yelling: "FUCK THIS GAME".
  • The jittery mouth of a particular monster.
  • Speaking of the music, Johnny at one point - and also during the ending - starts dancing to the Arranged mode remix of "Vampire Killer." To quote one of the comments:
  Shin Computer-Monster: BREAK DANCING JOHN-NNNNNYYYY!1!

Fortnite Review

• The reason Johnny has finally caved in and reviewed this game (well, besides Holiday season YouTube revenue)? Because his little cousins - Lucio and Dominic - asked him.
  • It then jump cuts to him standing deadpan still while his cousins and friends do the Fortnite dance.
  • And then in the opening credits, Johnny attempts to do the Default dance^note which is copied from Christopher Turk's brief dance from Scrubs anyway - the keyword being attempts - only for him to fail and complain that it was much harder to do than his "Castlevania Dance" in the last review.
  Johnny: Nah... I ain't doing that shit.
• The utter bafflement about certain online players - after one of them insults Johnny's personal space:
  Johnny: Well, fuck you too, you little shit! If these are the people my cousins hang out with - we're fucked...

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Review

• Johnny's first impressions about the Adventure Mode's Big Bad - Galeem:
  Johnny: This motherfucker just straight up nukes everybody! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
  Xehanort: Keyblade-
  Johnny: BAM!
  Bubsy: What can-
  Johnny: BAM!
  Diego: ...come to help you find your family!
  Johnny: BAM!
• Johnny showcases Cruel Smash... all one half-second of it.

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