ERB Season 5 / Characters

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JRR Tolkien vs George RR Martin

George R. R. Martin

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

"My readers fall in love with every character I've written-THEN I KILL 'EM!"

Anyone Can Die: Fully embraces this mindset in his stories and mocks Tolkien for sticking to The Good Guys Always Win.
Characters Dropping Like Flies: An apparent side effect of his Anyone Can Die mindset, as he gleefully mentions killing off his characters once readers grow attached to them.
Darker and Edgier: He says Game of Thrones has more death, despair and other dark stuff than Lord of the Rings.
Dirty Coward: What Tolkien thinks of him for his history of Draft Dodging.
Dirty Old Man: He shows a few signs of this when he gleefully talks about how much sex he puts in his books.
Draft Dodging: His conscientious objector status is contrasted with Tolkien's experiences.
Fat Bastard: Tolkien makes several digs about his weight in addition to his unpleasantness.
Fat Idiot: What Tolkien thinks of him, as Tolkien claims that Martin and Jon Snow both know nothing.
Flanderization: Martin's incarnation in the battle is more in keeping with The Theme Park Version idea of his books and the related TV show. Amongst other things he accuses Tolkien of letting good guys survive and bad guys die (which ignores Thorin, Boromir, Denethor and the Scouring of the Shire, not to mention the Bibles of death and suffering that are The Silmarillion and The Children of Húrin) and having too much detail in his books (each volume of A Song of Ice and Fire has dozens of pages on characters' genealogy alone, and backstory that goes back decades is often vital to characters' motivations). The Real Life Martin has repeatedly expressed admiration for Tolkien and likewise stated that Tolkien's books have the Unbuilt Tropes his own series drew from, and has claimed that one of his problems with Tolkien is when he is too reductive and not detailed enough.
Follow the Leader: Accused of being "an uninspired hack" by Tolkien, who claims that he even stole the R. R.
Tolkien: "You hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack!"
Good Is Boring: Argues that Tolkein's black-and-white morality makes his books way too cliche and predictable.
Historical Villain Upgrade: The real Martin greatly respects Tolkien's work. This Martin is a Jerkass who insults it as childish and proclaims his superiority in every other line.
Hotter and Sexier: He says someone would need an all-seeing eye to find sex in Tolkien's stories, while it is much more apparent in his own.
Hypocritical Humor: Accuses Tolkien of bogging down his stories with excessive detail, even though A Song of Ice and Fire is pretty detail-heavy itself.
Like You Would Really Do It: Invoked.
My readers fall in love with every character I've written.
Then I kill them! And they're like, "No, he didn't!"
Manly Facial Hair: Fittingly for an author of medieval fantasy; he could be some grizzled warrior carrying an axe with a beard like this.
Sadist: Shows signs of this, considering he lets his readers grow attached to his characters, only to gleefully kill them off.
Sex Sells: He believes this and gives this advice to Tolkien. ("Ditch the Goonie, cast a couple boobies!")
Signature Headgear: Wears his trademark fisherman's cap.
Slobs vs. Snobs: The slob to Tolkien's snob. He's very uncouth, raunchy and vulgar compared to the uptight, nerdy and nebbish Tolkien.
Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism: Takes the cynical approach and mocks the Black-and-White Morality of Tolkien's prose.
Trolling Creator: Openly making fun of his readers' shocked reaction when he kills their favorite characters.
Worthy Opponent: Even though he insults some of Tolkien's writing choices, he can be seen reading a copy of Fellowship during Tolkien's first verse, referencing the fact that Martin is actually a fan of Tolkien's works.
You Are Fat: Tolkein mocks Martin's weight three times, of which Martin get sick of his fat jokes.

J. R. R. Tolkien

Played by: Peter Shukoff

"Every time I battle, it's Return of the King!"

Angst Aversion: Disapproves of Martin's habit of randomly killing his characters.
The Anti-Nihilist: Tolkien doesn't necessarily disagree with Martin's view that the world is chaotic and bad things happen, but notes that the fantasy genre is to provide an escape from those harsh realities.
Bring It: "You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq!"
Cash-Cow Franchise: Tolkien boasts that his franchise makes billions of dollars for his family.
Cool Old Guy: He's more Rock and Roll than Martin, just ask Led Zeppelin!
Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe: Fitting for an Oxford professor, he carries and uses a smoking pipe.
Escapism: He defends his more idealistic writing style by claiming that the Fantasy genre is meant to be unrealistic.
The Good Guys Always Win: Defends this stance in his writing by pointing out fiction doesn't have to be realistic, so he can have the heroes win every single time if wants.
Hurricane of Puns: Puns on The Lord of the Rings titles in his last lines:
You can't reach this fellow. Shit, I'm too towering.
Every time I battle, it's return of the king.
Hypocritical Humor: Martin is incredulous that a chain smoker would lecture him about his unhealthy life choices.
Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke!
Insult Backfire: Tolkien spends most of the battle turning Martin's disses on their head. His character deaths are predictable because he writes fantasy, his extensive worldbuilding made The Silmarillion a successful book, Led Zeppelin was inspired by his works, making him more "rock and roll" than Martin, etc.
Lean and Mean: Gets in several shots at Martin's weight, who happens to have a lot more of it than him.
Lighter and Softer: Martin mocks his works for being more light-hearted/family-friendly than his own. Tolkien doesn't see this as a bad thing.
Tolkien: Newsflash: the genre's called fantasy! It's meant to be unrealistic; you MYOPIC MANATEE!
Pretender Diss: He mocks Martin for being a LARPer instead of a real soldier, in addition to his novel writing; "You and Jon Snow both know nothing!"
Retired Badass: A veteran of World War I, specifically taking part in the Battle of the Somme.
Sharp-Dressed Man: It's the reason he gets called "Professor Tweedpants" by Martin. He retaliates by saying he doesn't take criticism on clothes.
Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism: Defends the idealistic approach on the grounds that it's the part of the point of the fantasy genre, and as such, doesn't have to be realistic or cynical.
Slobs vs. Snobs: The snob to Martin's slob. He's dressed in a tweed jacket and smokes a Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe.
Sophisticated as Hell: While he makes his gentleman verbal jabs, he has friggin' Led Zeppelin back up his rhymes.
Strictly Formula: Martin claims this of his books; "you can tell what's going to happen by page and age 5!"
Suddenly Shouting: Several times he goes from speaking calmly to shouting at the top of his lungs.
C. S. Lewis and I were just discussing, how you and Jon Snow BOTH KNOW NOTHING!
Worldbuilding: Martin thinks Tolkien takes it too far ("we don't need the backstory on every fucking tree branch!"). Tolkien defends it by claiming his Silmarillion is doing pretty well on sales.

Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child

Gordon Ramsay

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

"I keep my ovens preheated and my pilots green-lit!"

Authority Equals Asskicking: Brings in the Blue Team to emphasize his success ("Yes chef!").
Badass Arm-Fold: Child mocks him for his "b-boy stance".
Bad Boss: The Blue Team is terrified of him.
Berserk Button: Bringing up his troubled childhood, and fatty recipes. Though considering this is a caricature of Ramsay who spends most of the battle in a foul mood, odds are he has too many to count.
Broken Ace: According to Julia, behind his great success is a thoroughly damaged and unpleasant individual.
Caustic Critic: He's the Trope Codifier for overly harsh critics and judges in cooking-based reality shows, and his raps are worded as a bad review of his opponent's cuisine (calling her "stale and soft," "past [her] expiration date," saying her recipes are gross and unhealthy, etc.) Child just seems to find this behavior annoying and undignified.
Julia Child: What's with that bitter taste in every word from your lips?
You scream at women, but the fits that you're pitching
Make YOU the pissiest bitch in the kitchen!
Dark and Troubled Past: Julia brings up Gordon's troubled youth from thirty years ago, which sets him off for the rest of the battle.
Hair-Trigger Temper: It's remarkably easy to piss him off.
Hot-Blooded: Very loud and aggressive, and has a fire background.
Hypocrite: As pointed out by Child:
"You scream at women, while the fits that you're pitchin' makes you the pissiest bitch in the kitchen!"
Infernal Background: His background during the battle is a burning fire, representing his anger, meanness, and the savagery of his insults towards Child.
Insufferable Genius: Child claims that he may have a Michelin Star, but his personality wouldn't get even one star on Yelp.
Large Ham: In typical angry chef fashion, Gordon Ramsay is known for being over-dramatic and loud.
Perpetual Frowner: Constantly scowling throughout the battle.
Pretender Diss: He calls Child a "glorified translator" for falling back on proven French recipes instead of coming up with dishes of her own.
Self-Made Man: Boasts about how he built his own empire.
Sir Swears-a-Lot: True to form, he's one of the most foul-mouthed rappers on the show.
Spit Take: One of his inserts has him taking a sip from a glass of wine and spitting it out.
Supreme Chef: Believes himself to be the superior chef in the battle, as he brags about how his cooking started an empire based on his "culinary innovation".
Wolverine Publicity: He mentions how busy he is filming numerous cooking shows at once; he seems to see it as a mark of his skill as a chef, but it's implied that the stress from overwork is one of the reasons he's in such a foul mood.
I've got exactly two minutes, so you should be grateful
'Cause I'm in the fucking weeds with all these shows to pitch
I keep my ovens preheated and my pilots green-lit
You Are Fat: He makes many crude remarks about his opponent's weight, and says that her recipes are so fattening that her cookbook may as well be called Mastering the Art of Heart Disease.
I'm glad you finally got that off your giant, flabby chest
I'd call you a donkey, but you look more like Shrek

Julia Child

Played by: Mamrie Hart

"When it comes to haute cuisine, there's one F-word: France!"

Catchphrase: "Bon Appetit."
Cut a Slice, Take the Rest: Partway through her first verse, she is seen cutting a small slice from a block of butter and setting it aside, then spreading the remaining large portion onto a slice of bread.
Foreign Queasine: Yes, Mastering The Art of French Cooking does have a recipe for Calf Brain in it (or as the French would call it, cervelle de veau).
French Cuisine Is Haughty: She boasts of the superiority of French recipes, and she sustains a refined and elegant demeanor in direct contrast to her Caustic Critic opponent.
Frying Pan of Doom: She uses her frying pan to deflect a carrot Ramsay throws at her during Ramsay's second verse.
Gratuitous French: Due to her focus on French cooking, Julia includes a bit of French vocabulary in her raps.
Haute Cuisine Is Weird: Ramsay points out that one of the recipes in Child's cookbook is calf brains, asking why anybody would want to eat something like that.
Hurricane of Puns: She bakes a number of butter puns into the second verse.
Large Ham: What she loses in volume compared to Ramsay, she more than makes up for with facial expressions and body language.
Machiavelli Was Wrong: Ramsay treats his underlings horribly and according to Child, his cooking suffers for it.
But fear, my dear boy, is less scrumptious than joy.
Nutritional Nightmare: Ramsay accuses Child's dishes of being excessively fatty and causing heart disease.
Off with His Head!: Takes the head off a chicken by hand during her preparations.
Patriotic Fervor: She boasts about having "served America dutifully" as a research assistant in World War II.
Perpetual Smiler: Mrs. Child is eerily cheerful and smiling throughout her rapping.
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: Her first verse is pointing out his awful childhood and how he treats others, and it sets off Ramsay so hard he brings in the Blue Team as backup. In her second verse, after declaring that she'll win, she spares no mercy and proceeds to personally attack Ramsay for his personality rather than for his cooking ability.
Renaissance Man: She boasts of her many accomplishments beyond cooking. She mentions the reigns supreme, "from Shark Repellent to Charcuterie". Julia Child did in fact invent a shark repellent while working for the OSS. She also deflects a carrot Ramsay throws at her with a pan like she's playing Tennis, referring to her passion for the sport in her earlier days.
Retired Badass: References her time in the OSS.
Silk Hiding Steel: A matronly home cook that can withstand and retaliate whatever verbal abuse Ramsay spits, treating him like a misbehaving child.
Sophisticated as Hell: "Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me. Now eat a dick! <Beat> Bon appetit."
Sugary Malice: Her demeanor comes across as friendly and cheerful but she's quick to give hurtful insults to Ramsay.
Supreme Chef: Like Gordon Ramsay, her raps are about believing that she's the superior chef.
Trademark Favorite Food: Child's love of butter is mentioned extensively in the battle.
Vocal Dissonance: Has a voice which Ramsay describes as part Big-Bird, part Miss Piggy.
While You Were in Diapers: Cooked gourmet meals while Ramsay's preferred food was breast milk.

Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson

Played by: Peter Shukoff

"When it comes to declarations, I'm the first draft pick!"

Disappeared Dad: Douglass calls him a "Founding Absentee Father" in regards to the six children he fathered with one of his slaves, as well as in a more metaphorical sense that the ideals of the American Revolution (of which he was one of the Founding Fathers) didn't apply to those of black descent until a century afterwards.
Hypocrite: Douglass points out that while Jefferson fought for freedom, he was also a racist who owned slaves and had six children with one of them.
Hypocrisy Nod: In response to Douglass' first verse, he confesses to being part of a "broken system that I hated".
I Did What I Had to Do: At the beginning of the second verse, Jefferson claims that he never liked the system at the time, tried to wind it down, and only went with it personally for financial reasons.
Once Done, Never Forgotten: Douglass says that for all his admirable achievements, his hypocrisy regarding slavery will be a permanent stain on his legacy.
Overshadowed by Awesome: He doesn't directly insult Douglas, but he does emphasize how outmatched he is in this battle.^note
First secretary of state, VP number two
Not to mention third president, the fuck you'd do?
Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Jefferson's last words are a weak attempt at making peace with Douglass by adopting African-American slang and gestures. Needless to say, it doesn't work.
Jefferson: So... [holds out his fist for a bump] We cool?
Rank Scales with Asskicking: As pointed out in his first verse, he happily boasts about being the first Secretary of State, the second vice president and the third president of the United States.
Rejected Apology: As the apologizer toward Douglass.
Renaissance Man: His accomplishments as a statesman, inventor, and scholar are all referenced.
What the Hell, Hero?: Douglass' verses consist mostly of calling him out on owning slaves.

Frederick Douglass

Played by: J.B. Smoove

"Straight outta bondage, a brainy motherfucker here to diss you!"

Badass Bookworm: He taught himself how to read, wrote three books, and offers to kick Jefferson's ass for free while going to town on his stance on slavery.
Black Is Bigger in Bed: "Big hair, big nuts, big issues".
Humble Hero: He talks the least about his own good points of just about anyone in the series, despite having plenty he could be bringing up, preferring to go on the offensive.
It's All About Me: Accused of this by Jefferson, who points out that he wrote three books about himself.
No Sympathy: Initially Douglass rails against Jefferson for not abolishing slavery within his lifetime or at least freeing his own slaves. Although "I was busy; I had a lot to do" is a poor excuse, and so is the money thing, he still worked on anti-slavery legislation and freed some of his slaves. By the end of his second verse, Douglass acknowledges this.
Rejected Apology: As the rejector toward Jefferson.
Sharp-Dressed Man: Although Jefferson compares him to a skunk in a three-piece suit.
Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Most of his verses are attacks on Jefferson for not letting black people be free sooner.

James Bond vs Austin Powers

James Bond (Daniel Craig)

Played by: Ben Atha

"I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!"

Backronym: Comes up with a beautiful one.
"Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!"
Bond Gun Barrel: He does the "shot the guy with the gun" thing at the end of his first verse, because it is his thing, obviously.
The Casanova: Halfway through the battle, he even complains that he could be on an island with a model instead of wasting time against Powers.
Country Matters: Connery's Bond calls him a pussy. He indirectly calls him an old cunt in response. It should be noted that both James and Ben Atha are from Britain, where the insult doesn't hold as much weight as it does in the United States.
- Connery!Bond's following and closing line has him calling Craig!Bond a "duck-faced runt" in response, but the way his lips are moving suggests that he was throwing this trope right back in his opponent's face instead.
The Cynic: Due to what he's had to go through, he has little to believe in or hope for.
Deadpan Snarker: Gets in a few dry jabs at Connery's Bond.
60s Bond: If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!
Bond: Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English.
Decomposite Character: The Sean Connery and Daniel Craig versions of James Bond are split into two different characters. who end up rapping against each other. Even within the battle itself, the verses start out referring to the character of Bond in general before later becoming specifically about Craig or Connery.
Everyone Has Standards: While he's got quite a few notches on his bedpost, he still calls Connery's bond a "rug-wearing misogynist" for his more... questionable sexual encounters.
Follow the Leader: He's accused of being a ripoff by Connery's Bond. Right after he claims to be the "original model" that Powers ripped off.
Hashtag Rap: "I only need one round — Golden Gun!"
Poe's Law: In-Universe. He seems unaware that Austin is a parody of himself, and is genuinely confused at what he perceives as an inexplicably-silly imitator.
Pyrrhic Victory: He considers Austin Powers to be irrelevant and undeserving of any attention, causing Bond to bemoan the entire battle against him as a pointless endeavor, even if he wins.
Bond: (Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown! I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!
Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Powers' red. He's much more sophisticated and composed than the flamboyant Powers. He's also the red to Connery's Bond's blue. He's visibly more worked up than the latter during his verses.
Sharp-Dressed Man: It wouldn't be Bond without that sharp tux. In his own words, he's "bespoke from [his] head to [his] toe".
Sliding Scale of Idealism vs. Cynicism: Firmly in the cynical end with his films being grittier and he himself not believing in anything as opposed to Powers's more fun, idealistic style.
Tempting Fate: Calls himself the "original model" as a Pretender Diss against Austin Powers. Enter Sean Connery.

Austin Powers

Played by: Peter Shukoff

"Let's just keep it groovy, baby!"

Agent Peacock: Just because he's flamboyant doesn't mean he can't drop a verse.
Boring Insult: He claims even his mojo fell asleep during his opponent's rap.
British Teeth: As Bond points out right off the bat, his teeth are more crooked and rotten than Bond's villains.
Butt-Monkey: He gets stepped on in the second half of the battle. When Connery's Bond enters the scene, Powers gets Demoted to Extra in his own battle. When he tries to interrupt Bond's second verse, he just gets told off.
Carpet of Virility: As he puts it:
"Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush!"
The Casanova: Although he gets a lot of shagging, Bond fails to see where his sex appeal comes from.
Chivalrous Pervert: He's a horny bastard through-and-through, but he respects that "no" means "no."
Demoted to Extra: Gets cast aside in his own battle when Connery's Bond joins the battle.
Ethical Slut: Practically every line out of his mouth involves sex in some way, and he's presented as much more upbeat compared to Bond. He also agrees with Craig's Bond that Connery's Bond has an unfortunate view on women.
Everyone Has Standards: Powers may be an unabashed womanizer, but he finds Connery's Bond "a bit rapey."
"I mean, I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby!"
- This also references a scene in the first film, where a drunk Vanessa tries to sleep with him, only for Austin to point out that it wouldn't be right. Yes, he tries to sleep with any woman he meets, but he draws the line at getting a woman drunk to get her into bed.
Funny Background Event: Has the biggest shit-eating grin when Connery's Bond slaps Craig's Bond.
His Story Repeats Itself: Mocks his opponent with a version of this, citing the fact that the main plot of Thunderball was largely recycled for the later film Never Say Never Again, and that Bond is "always getting remade" while his shorter series of three films were "one of a kind". Interestingly, both of those films starred Sean Connery in the main role. Guess who shows up later in the battle?
"Maybe Q can craft some new plotlines! You made Thunderball two bloody times!"
Ignored Enemy: When Connery's Bond enters the battle, he's completely ignored by Craig's Bond and barely gets any attention from Connery's Bond as the two of them duke it out.
Irony: Austin Power's movies have references to Our Man Flint and In Like Flint. Even Mike Myers, the original actor of Austin Powers, mentioned Our Man Flint in an interview as an inspiration. So Austin Powers is an inspiration of Flint who is a parody of James Bond.
Kavorka Man: Despite being peculiar-looking at best, and having crooked teeth, he's very popular with the ladies.
Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Bond's blue. He's much more lively and fun-loving than his opponent.
Silly Rabbit, Cynicism Is for Losers!: Attacks Bond's "gritty reality" as boring to the audiences.

James Bond (Sean Connery)

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

"I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!"

Berserk Button: Finally loses his cool when Craig's Bond mentions he uses a stunt-double.
Bring It: His final lines are said while he makes the bring it motion with both hands.
"Now, you listen here, you duck-faced runt! I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!"
Brave Scot: He's based on Sean Connery, so it's a given. The character is Scottish but raised in England (which makes Craig's Bond's comment about "actually English" count as research failure, especially since this fact is referenced in one of his own movies).
Carpet of Virility: It gets brought up by Craig's Bond while also calling him a "rug wearing misogynist".
Deliberate Values Dissonance: Both Craig's Bond and Powers point out that some of his love scenes are rather... questionable to modern viewers.
Dodgy Toupee: Craig's Bond calls him a "rug-wearing misogynist", a reference to Connery going Prematurely Bald.
Enemy Mine: His interruption of the rap battle and dated views on women get Craig's Bond and Powers to indirectly team up against him.
Enemy Without: Technically speaking, he's one to Craig's Bond, given that they're different versions of the same character.
If I Wanted X, I Would Y: "If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken."
I Take Offense to That Last One: He brushes off Powers accusing him of raping women, but gets enraged when Craig points out that he's not actually English.
Jerkass: Not only does he slap Powers for politely asking to go back into his own battle, both of his opponents point out his poor views on women.
Officer and a Gentleman: When Craig's Bond and Powers call him a misogynist who's "rapey", he replies he's a distinguished and extraordinary gentleman whose Mini Me would be Peter Dinklage, the implication being regardless how it looks to outsiders he treats his women with respect.
Politically Incorrect Hero: Craig Bond and Powers call him out on how blatantly misogynistic his movies were.
Questionable Consent: Craig Bond and Austin Powers both call out Connery Bond for the "rapey" nature of his encounters with women.
Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Craig's Bond's red. Throughout his verses, he generally remains cool and composed, until the last verse when his Berserk Button is pressed.
Sharp-Dressed Man: Again, it wouldn't be Bond without the suit, and this guy is the true "original model". He raps while dressed in his white dinner jacket from Goldfinger.
Unexpected Character: Zig-zagged. While he still is James Bond, the rap suggested that only Craig's Bond would be appearing.
What the Hell, Hero?: Craig's Bond and Austin Powers point out that his sex scenes are "a bit rape-y".

Bruce Banner vs Caitlyn Jenner

Bruce Banner

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist (Banner), Mike O'Hearn (Hulk)

"Trust me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!"

Abusive Parents: His father frequently beat his mom (and him) as a kid.
Berserk Button: He takes a lot of insults from Jenner, but he doesn't snap and become the Hulk until she makes fun of his parents.
Celeb Crush: Hulk thinks Kylie Jenner is sexy and wants to "smash" her. This understandably pisses Caitlyn off, since Kylie is her daughter.
Domestic Abuse: Jenner makes fun of him for being unable to protect his mother from his abusive father.
Good Is Boring: Jenner claims she only likes Banner as Hulk for this reason:
Caitlyn Jenner: I think you're in your element when you're behaving badly
Honestly, you're kinda boron when you're happy
Hulking Out: After Jenner calls out Banner's abusive father, he transforms.
Immune to Bullets: As a superhero known for his Super-Strength and Super-Toughness, Hulk is completely unhurt when Jenner shoots him with dual handguns.
Jekyll & Hyde: Transforms into the Hulk, who is a lot more aggressive than Banner himself, during the second verse.
Kissing Cousins: Jenner claims that if not for his cousin (She-Hulk) he would never have sex. A reference to the, incorrect, belief that She-Hulk was designed to be Hulk's Love Interest.
Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: The Hulk has no issue with Jenner being trans, if anything he relates to not "identifying as [a] man" (albeit "man" in this context probably means "human"). This is consistent with the source material, as Banner in the comic books is shown to support trans rights.

Hulk: "No gender issue, this Jenner issue! Just you being you is enough to diss you!"

No-Sell: As Hulk, he takes a few bullets without flinching.
Out of Focus: After his first verse, he gets only a few lines while Caitlyn steals the show.
You No Take Candle: His speech becomes noticeably more stilted and less grammatically correct as Hulk. He even says his other famous catchphrase ("Hulk smash!"), although, in this case, it refers to him wanting to tap Kylie Jenner's ass.
You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry!: Says his famous catchphrase at the end of his first verse. Jenner retorts that she actually prefers Banner when he's angry since he's not interesting enough otherwise.

Caitlyn Jenner

Played by: Peter Shukoff (pre-transition), No Shame (post-transition)

"I'm a winner, no excuses!"

Attention Whore: Accused of this by Hulk, to the point of insinuating that Jenner's gender affirming surgery itself was done for the sake of this.
Boring Insult: Claims Banner is "boron" when he's happy.
Born Winner: Jenner considers herself this compared to Banner.
"You're a drifter being useless/I'm a winner, no excuses!"
Character Filibuster: She gets 22 lines in her last verse—many more lines than Hulk gets.
Chick Magnet: She brags about all the beautiful women her celebrity status allowed her to hook up with.
Flawless Token: The battle was largely slanted in Jenner's favor not only by putting her on a pedestal and ignoring her flaws as a person, but also by severely handicapping her opponent and allowing her to hog the spotlight (Jenner gets twenty-two lines in her last verse, while the Hulk only gets four.)
Guns Akimbo: Pulls out two pistols and shoots at the Hulk when he says he'd have sex with Kylie.
Historical Hero Upgrade: Oddly enough for a series that prides itself on low-blows, some of the more controversial aspects of Jenner's life — such as her vehicular manslaughter charge and support of the Trump campaign — are never mentioned.
I Resemble That Remark!: After Banner/Hulk accuses her of being an Attention Whore, Jenner responds by... hogging the spotlight for the rest of the battle and not giving her opponent a chance to speak.
Jerk Jock: Banner's opinion on Jenner, as an overrated athlete who ditched her wife and kids.
Mama Bear: Caitlyn expresses aggressive parental protectiveness over her daughter Kylie, when Hulk claims he would like to "Hulk smash!" Kylie.
Only in It for the Money: Hulk accuses Caitlyn of publicizing her transition for cash and publicity. Likewise, Banner claims Jenner was a relatively mediocre athlete for an Olympian and abandoned competition to milk her fame.
Overprotective Mom: Shoots the Hulk for wanting to "smash" her daughter Kylie.
Parental Abandonment: Banner mentions how Jenner left behind the kids she couldn't exploit for fame and fortune.
Serial Spouse: Banner jokes that Jenner's best athletic feat was "the hundred meter ditch-your-wife dash."

Ivan the Terrible vs Alexander the Great

Ivan The Terrible

Played by: Peter Shukoff

"I'm terrible!"

Authority Equals Asskicking: Tsar of Russia.
Ax-Crazy: He's very quick to resort to murder, even killing his own son and boasting about what he did to Novgorod. Catherine the Great even questions how he could become head of state given his own mental state. And Frederick the Great mentions blinding of two architects that designed St. Basil's Cathedral: according to a legend, Ivan ordered to tear their eyes out so they wouldn't create an even greater building for someone else.
Beard of Evil: His facial hair underscores how evil he is.
The Caligula: Catherine wonders how he became Tsar in the first place, considering his mental instability.
Card-Carrying Villain: Proudly accepts and embraces being called "terrible" after poisoning and killing Alexander the Great.
Combat Pragmatist: No matching wits for Ivan, he just tries to kill the opponent at the first opportunity.
Dark Is Evil: The sky fills with black clouds during his verses, plus he has black hair and his clothes are a mix of dark brown and blood red.
Even Evil Has Standards: He appears to be disgusted and shocked when Catherine demonstrates her ruthlessness by killing Pompey with the garrote wire.
Evil Is Hammy: Out of all villains in ERB history, Ivan is one of the most insane and overly dramatic character that Nice Peter ever performed.
Evil Sounds Raspy: Ivan has a very raspy voice, only adding to how creepy he is.
Fur and Loathing: Wears a lot of fur, and tries to "win" by killing his opponents.
A God Am I: Claims to be "divine and holy" and later refers to himself as "the God".
Gonk: Frederick claims Ivan has a troll's face.
Gratuitous Russian: Uses the frequently misused toast "na zdorovye", when offering Alexander a drink. The correct way would be "za zdorovye", and it's one of the many, many toasts used by Russians. "Na zdorovye" is an equivalent to "you're welcome" in certain situations.
Happy Dance: He does a simple jig on stage after killing both Alexander the Great and Frederick the Great.
Historical Villain Upgrade: He's made into a stereotypical Russian tyrant, shamelessly trying to murder all of his opponents at the first opportunity, while the real Ivan IV's most infamous, Accidental Murder of his son, by comparison, was one that he immediately regretted and repented for throughout the rest of his life. The likes of Frederick the Great and Catherine the Great, and even Alexander were just as oppressive and brutal as him, but somehow come off better. Likewise, while Catherine the Great slams him for making Russia backward, Ivan IV actually commissioned the first printing presses in Russia and also built St. Basil's Cathedral (and did not Shoot the Builder^noteAs they ones in question built other buildings later). Albeit, he's probably the best historically-remembered of the bunch for his ruthlessness toward his own people. Hence "the terrible".
- In the behind-the-scenes, Nice Peter points out that some of the badness of his nickname is due to language drift that makes him seem worse than was intended when he got it. His Russian nickname, Grozny, can be translated as the old meaning of 'terrible' and also evokes the words 'fearsome' and 'formidable'.
I Surrender, Suckers: He pulls one on Alexander at the end of his first verse in order to poison him. Does this again for Frederick and Catherine, although Catherine doesn't buy it.
Kubrick Stare: Almost exclusively his look in the battle. He doesn't even blink.
Manipulative Bastard: Pulls off I Surrender, Suckers to manipulate and get the upper hand on Alexander and Frederick.
Murder Is the Best Solution: His approach to rap battles is to kill his opponent instead of outrapping them.
Names to Run Away from Really Fast: He's not called "the Terrible" for nothing.
Obviously Evil: One of the most sinister rappers in the series with his backlit face, tone of voice and that wicked beard.
Oh, Crap!: Catherine is the Worthy Opponent that the others were not, and understands that he's in trouble now...
Offing the Offspring: Catherine insults him for killing his own son.
Rape, Pillage, and Burn: Threatens to sack Alexander like Novgorod
Razor Floss: His garrote wire that he uses to try and kill Frederick The Great, before he dies somehow.
Tempting Fate: Claims twice in the battle that no "Great" can defeat him. Enter Frederick the Great and Pompey the Great (followed promptly by Catherine the Great).

Alexander the Great

Played by: Zach Sherwin

"It seems no one can defeat me. I weep; it's all so easy!"

A God Am I: "I'm an immortal, you're not!"
The Ace: Never suffered a defeat in battle, though Ivan aims to hand him his first. And with a poisoned chalice, he does.
The Alcoholic: Ivan claims he hits the bottle too much. It's how Ivan kills him, courtesy of poison in a goblet.
Authority Equals Asskicking: He ruled numerous kingdoms.
Cold-Blooded Torture: Shamelessly boasts about torturing his enemies during his reign.
The Conqueror: During his verse, he shows off all the countries he has taken over, and at a younger age than his father did.
Cutting the Knot: Boasts about being the Trope Namer as he threatens to do the same to Ivan.
Foreshadowing: Mentions Ivan died during a chess game, something that comes back around when Catherine the Great ends the battle with a "Checkmate".
Gratuitous Greek: Uses the word "kudos" and then explains its meaning; "Greek for the glory I got!"
Horrible Judge of Character: Would you accept a drink from someone so Obviously Evil as Ivan?
I Resemble That Remark!: Ivan mocks his alcoholism. Later on, he makes a vodka joke and asks the Tsar to fetch him a drink.
Karmic Death: He boasts in his verse about the brutal and painful torture he inflicted on his enemies, only for Ivan's poison to put him through pain he refers to as "unbearable".
Large Ham: He's played by Zach Sherwin, what did you expect?
Manly Tears: Claims to "weep" because no one is a challenge for him. It's possibly a reference to the famous quote about Alexander ("When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.").
Motor Mouth: Launches into this mode when boasting about Cold-Blooded Torture.
No Challenge Equals No Satisfaction:"It seems no one can defeat me; I weep! It's all so easy!"
No-Sell: He looks positively bored during Ivan's verse, completely brushing him off.
Sacrificial Lion: Being killed off to show how cunning and ruthless Ivan is.
Smug Snake: He boasts about how powerful he is, but Ivan easily dispatches him.
The Strategist: To the point of going undefeated in battle; "winning every single war that I fought".
Tempting Fate: Told Ivan to fetch him a drink, which ended up killing him.
Victory Is Boring: He claims that no one can defeat him and laments that it's all so easy after Ivan "admits defeat."

Frederick the Great

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

"Hard as steel on the field; genteel in the palace!"

Agent Peacock: A bit dramatic in energy, classy and well-dressed, and "genteel" and "not exactly straight" in his own words. Also quick and forceful in delivery and not well-regarded by history for nothing.
Anti-Climax: Ivan is about to garrote him to death and is surprised and disappointed to find he's already dead.
Authority Equals Asskicking: King of Prussia.
Badass in a Nice Suit: His Prussian military uniform shows how tough of a conqueror he really is.
Classy Cane: To highlight his more cultured side, he carries a cane.
Cultured Badass: Not only a military genius, but also an accomplished flutist.
Crowd Chant: His flute solo introduction is accompanied by chants of his nickname "Old Fritz".
Dropped a Bridge on Him: Ivan grabs him a seat after his verse, Frederick sits down and immediately dies in the chair. Ivan notes how sudden and unexpected this is. ^note
Elegant Classical Musician: His genteel demeanor and talent as a flutist qualifies him for this.
Hat of Authority: In addition to his uniform, he sports a cool tricorn that symbolizes his place of authority.
Historical Hero Upgrade: Frederick the Great is presented as a badass, openly gay, military stereotype. The real Frederick was a military expansionist much the same way as Ivan IV, and during his campaigns villages and fields were burnt. Frederick was also the mastermind of the First Partition of Poland and expressed great bigotry to Poles (and to a slightly limited extent, Jews), and during his campaign against Poland, he ordered the ports of the Commonwealth to be bombarded. More importantly the Russophobia of some of his verses is highly hypocritical for some viewers, because the show neglects the fact that Russia saved his ass from almost certain (and considering his belligerence, deserved) defeat in the 2nd Miracle of Brandenburg.
Keet: His rhymes are very fast, his theme is extremely high-energy, and he's almost never standing still. It completely exhausts him.
Motor Mouth: Raps very fast through his twelve bars.
Silk Hiding Steel: Or as he puts it: "Hard as steel on the field, genteel in the palace".
Tempting Fate: Tells Ivan to fetch him a chair which Ivan does so he can strangle him in it. Downplayed since Frederick dies of old age before Ivan can kill him.
The Strategist: Brags about his "oblique attack tactics"
Token Good Teammate: He is probably the only one in the battle outside of the screentime-lacking Pompey that isn't portrayed as a ruthless bastard, with Ivan and Catherine gleefully murdering their competitor while Alexander boasting about torturing his enemy. He even has a more upbeat theme during his verse.

Pompey the Great

Played by: Mike Betette

"What about me, Pompey? Yeah!"

Bait-and-Switch Boss: He's set up as Ivan's next opponent after Frederick, but it only lasts for about five seconds before Catherine makes her own entry.
Butt-Monkey: The poor guy doesn't even get a chance to finish his first line. He only serves two purposes for the battle: making a Historical In-Joke at his own expense, and giving Catherine an excuse to rhyme "Romans" with "opponents".
Off with His Head!: When Catherine the Great enters the battle, she cuts off his head with garrote wire.
Sacrificial Lamb: He's killed off to establish how ruthless Catherine is.
We Hardly Knew Ye: He gets half a line before Catherine offs him.

Catherine the Great

Played by: Meghan Tonjes

"I brought the Russian empire straight out the olden days and right into the golden age!"

Authority Equals Asskicking: Empress of Russia.
Berserk Button: Her composure noticeably slips when Ivan insinuates that she has sex with horses, though she recovers quickly.
Bestiality Is Depraved: She would like you to know that the "died by being crushed by a horse during sex" story is a pile of shit, thank you very much.
Big Beautiful Woman: As portrayed by the plump and pretty Meghan Tonjes, Catherine the Great was an archetypal example later in life, and she Really Gets Around.
Brick Joke: Her final line against Ivan declares a checkmate, a callback to Alexander saying Ivan died during a chess match.
Dirty Old Woman: The handles of her garrote are shaped like penises, in reference of her extensive collection of phallic furniture.
The Empress: She's not content to settle for the title of "Queen", and she shifted the balance of power in Europe to back it up.
"So don't call me queen, I'm far more great, Emperor to Tsar 8, bitch, checkmate."
Even Evil Has Standards: She appears disgusted by Ivan The Terrible's mental state and how he killed his son.
Everyone Has Standards: Promiscuous as she is, she's still not into animals. Or Ivan.
Glory Days: Claims to have brought the Russian Empire into "the golden age".
The High Queen: Though she is a powerful and commanding royal woman, she rejects the title of "queen" because it is not great enough for her.
Historical Hero Upgrade: Granted, she's still extremely ruthless and much darker than Alexander or Frederick, but Catherine the Great is presented as hating Ivan IV, when in reality she was a German Princess who did her best to assimilate into Russia, and would certainly not have slagged Ivan so casually. Likewise, Catherine oppressed the serfs of the Russian Empire and Poland, sending free peasants into serfdom and refeudalizing Ukraine and like Frederick, masterminded the destruction of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth^note.
Hypocritical Humor: She disses Prussians, and yet she is one just like Frederick. She also disses Ivan for being Ax-Crazy immediately before cheerfully gloating that she plunged Europe into war to unbalance her rivals, as if that was somehow better.
Immigrant Patriotism: Of a sort. She's not Russian by birth, but she clearly considers herself one. You'd think she was born into House Romanov instead of marrying into it.
Lady of War: A female warmonger only content to prove how powerful she is.
Large and in Charge: A Big Beautiful Woman who is also The Empress.
Musical Assassin: Catherine, unusually, doesn't rap at all-she instead sings tunefully.
No-Sell: Doesn't fall for Ivan's Running Gag temptations.
Pimped-Out Dress: A voluminous one, decked out in numerous diamonds.
- In the behind-the-scenes, Meghan points out the dress was actually very hard to move in, hence why Catherine isn't a very animated battle rapper compared to the others in the video.
Razor Floss: Her garrote wire that has penis-shaped wooden handles, which unlike Ivan with Frederick she uses to kill Pompey.
Really Gets Around: She is proud of that. In her words, she's "bringing sexy back to house Romanov".
Silk Hiding Steel: Her gentle tone is betrayed by her powerhouse figure and ruthlessness.
Statuesque Stunner: In addition to being a Big Beautiful Woman, Catherine (played by the 5'11" Meghan Tonjes) appears to be the same height as Ivan (played by the 6'0" Nice Peter).
Takes One to Kill One: Claims it takes a Russian to kill a Russian, which is why she enters the battle to school Ivan. Except technically, she's not Russian.
This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "Empress to Tsar 8, bitch! Checkmate!"
Worthy Opponent: Lampshaded and defied when she claims that Alexander ("Macedonians"), Frederick ("Prussians"), and Pompey ("and Romans") are not proper worthy opponents for a fellow Russian.

Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

See Season 3.

Hillary Clinton

Played by: Kimmy Gatewood

"I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain!"

Badass Boast: Claims that while Trump only fires celebrities on The Apprentice, Hilary was firing Bin Laden back in Afghanistan.
Berserk Button: She loses it when she brings up about all the women Trump allegedly molested.
Delicate and Sickly: The controversy surrounding Clinton's physical health is mocked by Trump, who calls her frail and lacking in stamina.
Everyone Has Standards: She has a horrified look on her face as Trump is about to say the N-word.
Hypocrite:
- Boasts that she is a public servant as opposed to Trump, but he is quick to point out Hillary's rep with the majority of voting America isn't any better.
  Trump: What do the American people gotta yankee-doodle-do
  To get through your fat face, that they're just not that into you?
- She is also furious at Trump for molesting women, but Trump fires back at the Clinton family's own shady history in that regard.
  Trump: Your Bill's worse than Cosby.
Large Ham: Very loud and emotional in her raps.
- This is in contrast to the real life Hillary, who is often criticized for her lack of emotion and appearing cold.
My Name Is Inigo Montoya:
Clinton: First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics, I got 'em.
Never Mess with Granny: A grandmother in real life, fearless, and was firing at Bin Laden.
Our Presidents Are Different: Rather, Our Presidential Candidates Are Different. Hillary is aiming to become the first female President of the United States.
That Russian Squat Dance: Does it in the background when pointing out Trump's Russian connections.
Technically a Smile: Lincoln calls her out on her creepy smile.

Abraham Lincoln

Played by: Peter Shukoff

See the main page.

Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin

Ash Ketchum

Played by: Brian Walters

"Gotta catch 'em all!"

Bad People Abuse Animals: He's accused of animal abuse by Darwin, who calls him "Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick" and calls Pokémon battles "animated slave fights."
The Beastmaster: Comes with the Pokémon territory. Pikachu helps physically fight off Team Rocket, and Ash threatens to sic Charizard on Darwin.
Bratty Half-Pint: He's loud, crude, and...see Kick the Dog.
Jerkass Has a Point: When Ash says that Darwin spent 8 years studying barnacle dick, Darwin merely shrugs as if to say "Yeah, that's true."
Kick the Dog: On his last verse where he invokes the famous "Gotta catch 'em all" line to mock Darwin's dead children.
Kill It with Fire: His Charizard is a Fire type.
Merchandise-Driven: According to Darwin, the value of his series is measured by merchandise instead of something grander.
Not Allowed to Grow Up: Darwin makes fun of how Ash is still ten in the anime.
Race Lift: Subverted - the art style of the Pokémon anime, due to favoring the Pokémon, actually winds up very atypical of anime in general, allowing it to be ingrained as an international phenomenon rather than a Quirky Work, so the casting of the mixed-parentage Brian Walters is actually more fitting.
Relative Button: As noted in his Kick the Dog moment, he decides to bring up Darwin's children dying tragically young from disease.
Shock and Awe: His Pikachu is an Electric type that uses its' thunder attacks to ward off Team Rocket.
Signature Headgear: Wears his signature red cap.
Slobs vs. Snobs: The Slob to Darwin's Snob. Ash's adventures have left him unimpressed by Darwin's intellectual work.
Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Downplayed; being the youngest contender in an Epic Rap Battle at ten years old, you really wouldn't expect the swearing and reference to Darwin's kids dying. It only gets by because it's Epic Rap Battles.
Younger Than They Look: Brian Walters is clearly not a kid. Granted, in the anime, the only reason Ash is identified as being ten years old these days is because of Word of God.

Charles Darwin

Played by: Peter Shukoff

"If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection!"

Ascended Extra: Charles was first featured in ERB News. And well before Teddy.
Badass Bookworm: Establishes himself as an intellectual mastermind having created the theory on evolution.
Badass Longcoat: Darwin's black Victorian frock coat helps to reinforce his distinguished presence.
Cool Ship: His ship, the HMS Beagle is sitting on the dock in the background.
Deadpan Snarker: Establishes himself as such in his opening lines:
Hello there, welcome to a world called Earth
Where actual minds do ground breaking work
Extreme Omnivore: His research on those millions of animal species would often involve eating them. This is literally the first thing we see him doing here!
Hypocritical Humor: He comments negatively on Ash's supposed abuse by making Pokémon fight, even though Darwin made it a habit of killing and eating all sorts of exotic animals.
Kissing Cousins: Ash claims that Darwin shares his cousins' gene pool.
Old Master: Spent so much time on his research that his bearded, aged appearance we see here is his primary representation in popular culture as the "master" of evolutionary theory.
Outliving One's Offspring: Ash jokes about how three of Darwin's children died young due to tuberculosis and scarlet fever. Darwin even concedes that their loss was hard on him.
Slobs vs. Snobs: The Snob to Ketchum's Slob. Darwin claims that he's doing actual work that breaks scientific ground and that Ash is an bumpkin and an idiot.
Tranquil Fury: Of sorts. He listens to Ash making fun of his dead children, mentions how it was hard for him, and then spits a Your Mom joke at the trainer.
Your Mom: Ends his last verse claiming Professor Oak is busy banging Ash's mom right now.

Wonder Woman vs. Stevie Wonder

Wonder Woman

Played by: Lilly Singh

"Wonder Woman fly, I'm about to tell you why! Princess Diana, but this lady don't die!"

Action Girl: A female superhero who tries to one-up Stevie Wonder in a rap battle to see who the better "Wonder" is.
Cool Crown: Or tiara in this case, although Stevie dismisses the notion of it being "cool."
Cool Plane: Not if you ask Stevie. He thinks Wonder Woman looks dumb flying in her invisible jet.
Hair Color Dissonance: Invoked. If you look closely, you'll notice her hair is not actually black, but rather dark blue. This is a reference to how in older comic books, blue ink was usually used to color black hair.
Hypocrite: Stevie accuses her of being this.
Stevie: You're Miss Independent, or at least you try, but your first story is you... running off... with a guy.
Kubrick Stare: She does so at the beginning of her first verse. It can't be for intimidation, given that Stevie can't see it, so it must just be a game face.
Offhand Backhand: At one point, she deflects an incoming meteor without even looking at it.
Precision-Guided Boomerang: Shows off her skills with her tiara. Stevie claims he beat her so badly, even her tiara couldn't come back from his burns.
Pygmalion Plot: Boasts of her origin as a clay statue given life by divine powers.
Gods made me out of clay and then they broke the mold!
Race Lift: Wonder Woman is Greek and Lilly Singh is Canadian (of Indian descent).
Really 700 Years Old: Being half deity, Wonder Woman is immortal. Stevie says she's sucked for a few thousand years.

Stevie Wonder

Played by: T-Pain

"I'm the ceremony master blaster with the bars!"

Auto-Tune: Averted. Despite being played by a man famous for his use of it, Stevie doesn't use it at all.
Blind Black Guy: The first blind rapper in an ERB.
Blind Musician: His lack of vision hasn't stopped him from producing many hit singles.
Character Tics: WW mocks his "king cobra head sway".
Cool Shades: His red-rimmed sunglasses.
Disappeared Dad: WW refers to him as a full-time lover and a part-time father.
Follow the Leader: Invoked. Wonder Woman claims that Stevie stole most of his traits from Ray Charles.
Fun Personified: Spends the entire battle grinning and laughing and never shows any signs of anger.
Handicapped Badass: Despite his blindness, Stevie doesn't back down when rapping against Wonder Woman, one of the most powerful superheroes in the DC Universe.
Informed Deformity: Wonder Woman mocks Stevie for going bald; while this is true of the real Stevie Wonder, T-Pain has a full head of hair and made no attempt to hide it for his portrayal.
Large Ham: Especially in the beginning where he sings his first lines with a lot of passion.
Really Gets Around: Nine different kids with five different mothers.
Self-Deprecation: Diana gets only around two indirect jabs at his blindness; Stevie makes most of the battle's blind jokes himself to set up his own punchlines, even saying Diana's plots are so thin, "Even I can see through 'em."
Skewed Priorities: According to Wonder Woman, he put his veganism over his children.
Song Style Shift: His first six lines are sung and not rapped, with a soul arrangement laid on top of the beat.
Straw Vegetarian: What Wonder Woman accuses him of, in being that his diet is more important that his family.

Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky

Tony Hawk

Played by: Peter Shukoff

"I'm the dude who blew up extreme sports!"

Can't Catch Up: Gretsky asserts that he's too far ahead of Hawk in terms of accomplishments and talent for Hawk to ever catch up.
Fantasy Helmet Enforcement: Starts his second verse wearing protective gear when he's about to hit the ramp.
Friendly Enemy: To Gretzky. He refers to him in a friendly tone by his first name, and doesn't get heated in either his digs or his responses.
Friend to All Children: Claims to "tell kids all 'round the world that there's nothing that they can't do" and "put more souls into skating than some Vans shoes", a reference to the real life Tony Hawk's philanthropic activities, particularly via the Tony Hawk Foundation that helps to build skateparks in underprivileged areas.
Hypocritical Humor: Complains about hockey games losing their touch, but Gretzky reminds him of Pro Skater 3 leaving the later series games in its shadow.
Lame Pun Reaction: Gretzky's "deke joke" line gets Hawk to take a couple of lines just to dig at how bad the pun was.
Red Oni, Blue Oni: The blue to Gretzky's red; Hawk is easygoing and reserved while Gretzky is loud and manic.
Serial Spouse: Gretzky mentions that Hawk is now married to his fourth wife.
Stealth Pun: Tony Hawk gives us "Not Cash Money; it's just Wayne versus Birdman!" ^note
The Stoic: In a World of Ham, he's one of the most reserved rappers seen yet. He keeps his voice level and never changes his expression, even in response to serious digs by Gretzky.
Waxing Lyrical: "I got 99 problems and you ain't one, Wayne!"

Wayne Gretzky

Played by: Zach Sherwin

"I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey!"

Always Someone Better: When mentioning that Hawk and him have 184 world records between them, Gretzky notes that he set 183 of those records. He also mentions that his net worth is double that of Hawk's.
Apologetic Attacker: As the Canadian stereotype goes, Gretzky apologizes a one point in his rap for making a dirty joke about Hawk.
Badass Boast: In response to Hawk saying he keeps his hands clean by keeping his gloves on and telling his teammates to fight for him, Gretzky takes his gloves off and threatens to cross-check him.
Badass Decay: Hawk says that hockey teams used to have guts but now they all "mighty suck", including Gretzky's.
Curb-Stomp Cushion:
That verse was rough! Damn, Tony! Now let me smooth it out like I'm a damn Zamboni!
Flipping the Bird: Does a "finger flip" end of his first line and then he rotates that one finger around.
Friendly Enemy: Like Hawk, he refers to his opponent by his first name in the process of complimenting one of his lines ("That verse was rough, damn Tony!").
Flunky Boss: Tony interprets him as such.
Tony Hawk: You've got your whole league to protect and adore you, so which goon's gonna take this battle for you?
Gag Nose: Hawk devotes an entire bar to Wayne's nose, saying it must've seen some "extreme snorts", and that even he wouldn't do a jump off of something that "titanic".
The Gloves Come Off: Early in his first verse - they're still on after that but you get the idea.
Happily Married: Happily brings up his wife as the only woman in the world for him.
Large Ham: As expected from a Zach Sherwin character, Gretzky has a constant wide-eyed expression and the "rap hand" gestures Sherwin is known for.
Mic Drop: Does this with his hockey stick to end the rap.
Moose and Maple Syrup: He's a Canadian hockey player with a thick accent, and Tony Hawk makes a joke about poutine for good measure.
Nice Guy: Even his opponent admits this, referring to him as "too clean".
No True Scotsman: Claims that "true sports fans" knew he was going to win as soon as they saw his name on the match-up.
Red Baron: Known as "The Great One", which Tony uses for a easy pun.
Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Hawk's blue; Gretzky actually looks visibly pissed off during the battle, while Hawk never loses his cool.
Single-Target Sexuality: Gretzky boasts that his "hot wife" is the only woman in the world for him, in contrast to Tony Hawk's three failed marriages.
Stealth Pun:
- Gretzky sneaks two of them in, just as he slams his hockey mitts on the floor:
Gretzky: "Its a street fight, T. Hawk, show some respect!"^note
[...]
And I take a Flyer down, Bird, you're getting wrecked,^note
So you best prepare for arrival and cross-check!^note
- He adds another at the end of of his first verse, concerning Tony being on his fourth marriage:
Gretzky: "And my hot wife: the only woman in the world for Wayne"
"You're on your fourth wife. Talk about the Ex Games."

Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill

Theodore Roosevelt

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

"Rough ridin' down to Cuba like 'What's up, bitches?!'"

Actor Allusion: Churchill describes him as "a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet".
America Won World War II: Seems to think so given his verse about Pearl Harbor and how he considers Winston's efforts to be overshadowed by his cousin Franklin's.
Animal Motifs: Churchill compares him to the Teddy bears who are named for him, but TR himself points out he's a Bull-Moose.
Ascended Extra: Started out as an announcer for ERB, but he eventually got his own rap battle.
Badass Boast: In response to getting shot: "A BULLET CAN'T STOP THE BULL MOOSE!"
Badass in a Nice Suit: Raps in a spiffy black suit.
Blind Without 'Em: Roosevelt alludes to his poor eyesight when he claims that the UK is so small compared to the USA that he could run the former country without even putting on his glasses.
Boisterous Bruiser: His very first line has him loudly declaring his love of competition and relishing a challenge.
Breakout Character: Shortly after his debut, ERB News, which would previously feature different people such as Charles Darwin and Adam Smith (who has yet to appear in an actual battle to this very day) became ERB News with Teddy Roosevelt.
Brief Accent Imitation: Not even Teddy Roosevelt is above this when rapping against a Brit.
"Everyone knows you're at home like 'thank god for Pearl Harbor'!"
Challenge Seeker: He claims to "love competition".
Determinator: Teddy gets shot in the chest toward the end of the battle and shrugs it off so he can continue his rap battle. This was based on an actual event.
Character Catch Phrase: He would open every ERB news with a hearty "What's up, bitches?!" His battle adds his Real Life "Bully!" (an exclamation roughly meaning "cool" or "awesome")
Deceased Parents Are the Best: Churchill jokes that both of Roosevelt's parents died at relatively young ages. Roosevelt fires back that, as unpleasant as it was for him to watch his parents die, they at least loved him enough to stay in his life when they were alive, which is more than can be said for Churchill's parents.
Egomaniac Hunter: Wonders where he'd mount Winston's head on his wall, given his space is fairly filled up.
Handicapped Badass: Being born asthmatic and nearsighted did not prevent him from becoming a soldier and then President.
Irony: Verbal. Roosevelt calls Churchill an 'old man', whereas in reality Roosevelt was 16 years older while their lives overlapped (Churchill outlived Roosevelt by 46 years). Given they're both taken from their most famous period this makes more sense as Roosevelt was way younger as president (42) than Churchill was as prime minister (66).
Large Ham: Extremely loud and over the top even by the standards of this series.
Large-Ham Announcer: Much like the Announcer, he is loud and boisterous.
Made of Iron: Takes a bullet to the chest during the battle and keeps going.
Manchild: Churchill says he's "an overgrown Boy Scout."
Manly Facial Hair: Roosevelt is well known for his iconic mustache and for being a general badass. Churchill isn't impressed, joking that Roosevelt's mustache makes him look like Julius Pringles.
Manly Man: Boasts about his personal fitness, ditch-digging, horse-riding, military service, and "American muscles". Also barely reacts to getting shot.
Nobody Loves the Bassist: Churchill uses the Mount-Rushmore-as-a-band metaphor by comparing Mount Rushmore to a band and making Roosevelt its bassist.
No-Sell: Gets shot and barely even reacts.
Overshadowed by Awesome: Churchill accuses him of being this, claiming he's the least remarkable of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore, and uses the Nobody Loves the Bassist trope to illustrate his point. Also, while he doesn't denigrate Teddy's presidency itself, he claims that Teddy's accomplishments simply can't measure up to his own.
Winston Churchill: I was saving the planet from an Axis of darkness
While you were back at home opening national parks, yes!
Patriotic Fervor: Oh yeah. In addition to threatening Churchill with his "American muscle" there is this line here:
You should be ashamed of your military honor.
Everyone knows you're back at home like "Thank god for Pearl Harbor!"
Real Men Get Shot: Just like in Real Life, Roosevelt gets shot in the chest and doesn't even flinch, continuing with the battle while boasting that a bullet won't be enough to stop him.
Sickly Child Grew Up Strong: Churchill points out that Roosevelt was born asthmatic, but that didn't stop him from becoming the Boisterous Bruiser Manly Man seen in the battle.
Slobs Versus Snobs: The snob to Churchill's slob, though Roosevelt's much more vulgar and exuberant than other snobs. He wears a pressed suit while boasting of his military experience and personal fitness, and Churchill calls him "an overgrown boy-scout."
Specs of Awesome: Pince-nez, to be precise.
Suddenly Shouting: Every line of his is loud, but after he's shot, he comes back literally roaring.
This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "What's up, bitches?"
Tranquil Fury: Only displays a scowl when he mentions the deaths of Churchill's men at Gallipoli.
Truth in Television: Famously disliked Churchill in life, as he does in this battle.
Worthy Opponent: His very first words indicate he considers Churchill this.
Bully! A challenge! I love competition!

Winston Churchill

Played by: Dan Bull

"I'm the rhyme minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket!"

The Alcoholic: Churchill drank heavily in life, which is reflected here, and hints he might be drunk while rapping.
Roosevelt: Don't go toe-to-toe with me, you bloated, drunk old man!
Why don't you do-si-do on over to a 12-step program?
America Won World War II: In his opinion Britain Won World War II. He brags about "saving the planet from an Axis of darkness". Roosevelt counters by claiming that the USA did more fighting (and spending) than Britain by far, even saying that Britain should change his poster to "Keep Calm and Kiss My Cousin's Ass". ^note
Animal Motifs: He compares himself to a bulldog.
Badass Boast: Ends the battle with one, a paraphrase of a Real Life one from him: "I'll battle to the end and I will never surrender!".
Badass in a Nice Suit: Shows up "fresh in a hat and dinner jacket" while he talks about helping fight the Nazis during World War II.
Cigar Chomper: Starts his first verse asking for a cigar, and later admits that he's a chain smoker.
Cool Old Guy: Churchill became prime minister at 66 and he holds his own against a much younger-looking Roosevelt.
Dashingly Dapper Derby: He can't help but brag about his fancy bowler hat.
Determinator:
I'll battle to the end and I will never surrender!
Drunken Master: He claims to have come to the battle sloshed and yet he still orders another large glass of brandy before boasting how quickly he's going to defeat Roosevelt.
Face of a Thug: Enough that Teddy uses up a couple of lines on it just like Tony Hawk did earlier.
Theodore Roosevelt: I mean for Christ's sake! Look at that mug!
At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!
General Failure: Roosevelt considers him this, saying he's drastically overrated and specifically citing the Gallipoli Campaign as proof.^note
Insult Backfire: Much like a similar exchange in real life, Churchill flips Roosevelt's accusations of alcoholism into a boast, saying he doesn't need to be sober to beat Roosevelt in the battle.
I might be battling you even though I'm toasted
But tomorrow I'll be sober and you'll still be roasted!
Kick the Dog: Mocks the deaths of Roosevelt's family members.
Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Remarks that his opponent looks like EpicLLOYD, the rapper playing him.
Made of Iron: Brags that while Teddy was born asthmatic and died relatively young despite being a fitness nut and outdoorsman, he is healthy enough to keep trucking despite drinking heavily and "getting up every morning to chain smoke cigars". In Real Life, Churchill lived to the age of 90.
Off with His Head!: Roosevelt wonders where he can put his head after stuffing it.
Parental Abandonment: As Roosevelt points out, his parents all but ditched him.
Perpetual Frowner: Wears an angry scowl for the entire rap.
Red Baron: He references his famous montiker, "The British Bulldog", while comparing it to Teddy's far less intimidating nickname, "Teddy", while overlooking Teddy's other nickname of "Bull Moose".
Signature Headgear: Churchill wears his trademark bowler hat to the battle.
Slobs Versus Snobs: The slob to Roosevelt's snob, though Churchill is much more eloquent and dapper than other slobs. He openly admits to chain smoking and apparently came to the rap battle drunk, and Roosevelt even calls him a "bloated, drunk old man."
Smoking Is Cool: He believes so since he talks about how much he likes cigars. He even regards Roosevelt as uncool because his asthma prevents him from being able to smoke.
Verbal Tic: Throws a bunch of Yeses and Sees into the end of his lines to salvage his rhymes.
We Have Reserves: Teddy accuses of him of throwing away lives in the Gallipoli Campaign.

NicePeter vs EpicLLOYD (rematch)

See Season 1

Characters / ERB Season 5

George R. R. Martin

J. R. R. Tolkien

Gordon Ramsay

Julia Child

Thomas Jefferson

Frederick Douglass

James Bond (Daniel Craig)

Austin Powers

James Bond (Sean Connery)

Bruce Banner

Caitlyn Jenner

Ivan The Terrible

Alexander the Great

Frederick the Great

Pompey the Great

Catherine the Great

Donald Trump

Hillary Clinton

Abraham Lincoln

Ash Ketchum

Charles Darwin

Wonder Woman

Stevie Wonder

Tony Hawk

Wayne Gretzky

Theodore Roosevelt

Winston Churchill

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James Bond (Daniel Craig)

James Bond (Sean Connery)

Caitlyn Jenner

Ivan The Terrible

Donald Trump

Hillary Clinton

Abraham Lincoln

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