Characters: Epic Rap Battles of History

Epic Rap Battles of History, pitting historical figures, celebrities, and fictional characters against each other. Tropes used to describe these combatants should be within the context of the raps. Spoilers have been left unmarked.

The Announcer

Voiced by: Peter Shukoff

  • Animorphism: Whenever ERB News needs The Announcer to appear onscreen, a talking animal is used such as a bear. In the battles themselves, The Announcer is still He Who Must Not Be Seen.
  • Catchphrase: He opens and closes every rap battle the same way.
    EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! [Character 1] vs. [Character 2]! BEGIN!
  • Flanderization: He originally had a clear and deep voice. Progressively, it becomes more and more high-pitched and less coherent.
  • Killed Mid-Sentence: Gets bitten and turned into a zombie at the end of "Rick Grimes vs Walter White".
  • Large Ham Announcer: He shouts the introduction and conclusion.
  • The Unintelligible: Getting progressively worse with each battle.
  • The Voice: That's all he is: a voice.

Theodore Roosevelt

Voiced by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Badass: Threatened to carve his own chin out of Mount Rushmore and beat Lloyd and Peter with it if they didn't get back to work.

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     Season 1 

John Lennon

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Bill O'Reilly

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Adolf Hitler

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Absent Aliens: The Rancor he was going to be fed to doesn't appear and is killed offscreen; with a regular Luger pistol, no less.
  • Acrofatic: More wideset than Hitler in Real Life, but capable of doing Luke Skywalker's forward flip. The best part? Not a stunt double.
  • Adolf Hitlarious: Naturally. All three videos get a lot of mileage out of playing up Hitler's Large Ham tendencies.
  • Ambiguously Gay: The way Hitler mimes when he says he's "dope on the mic," and again when he calls Vader Palpatine's whore. An Urban Legend suggests Hitler's obsession with homosexuals was due to being Armoured Closet Gay, similarly to how his hatred of Jews was partially due to his father (and therefore, technically him) having Jewish blood.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In addition to his other well-documented enormities, he also traveled back in time and caused the Badass Decay of Darth Vader in the Star Wars prequels.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Chancellor and Führer of Germany.
  • Badass Longcoat: His Nazi greatcoat.
  • Badass Moustache: Averted - it's Hitler. He may have killed a Rancor and Boba Fett with nothing but a Luger, but it's still Hitler.
  • Badass Normal: He's a real historical figure with no magical or supernatural abilities (obviously), but he still manages to kill a Rancor and Boba Fett with nothing but a Luger P08.
  • Book Ends: His last words on ERB are the same as his first: "I am Adolf Hitler!"
  • Breakout Character: Weirdly enough, he ended up becoming popular in part owing to his being a Laughably Evil version of The Chew Toy.
  • Butt Monkey:
    • Frozen, tossed on the ground, and then dropped in the Rancor pit. Then cut in half by his rival.
    • Then his ghost is captured by the Ghostbusters.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Hitler enjoys his reputation as the most evil man ever.
    Hitler: I am a force truly evil!
  • Commissar Cap: Wears a mockup of the historical cap.
  • Country Matters: Is thus far the only character on the show to use the word "cunt". Compare Vader, who interrupted his own verse to think of a way out of saying it.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Hitler prefers Rick Moranis in Spaceballs to Vader. Bear in mind that Spaceballs was a parody done by Mel Brooks, who heavily lampooned Hitler in The Producers - and Hitler still hates Vader more. Also keep in mind that Brooks and Moranis are Jewish.
  • Evil Is Hammy: Evil and overwhelmingly hammy.
  • Eviler Than Thou: Claims that, unlike Vader, he is "a force truly evil".
  • Faux Affably Evil: All of his "polite" requests to Vader (to take a shower, to ride on a train, and to pop into an oven) are Deadly Euphemisms for Holocaust terms.
  • Half the Man He Used to Be: Darth Vader gets sick of having to deal with him and cuts him in half.
  • Gag Echo: Vader uses this to sum up Hitler's entire rise and fall;
    Vader: You wrote a little book, got 'em fired up, had a beer hall putsch, got 'em fired up and when your bunker ended getting fired up, you put a gun in your mouth and fired up.
  • Iron Butt Monkey: Being partially blinded as a result from carbonite freezing doesn't stop him from tearing into Vader when he gets the chance, and neither does having to fend off a Rancor.
  • Large Ham: Even by this show's standards he has a tremendous presence. In real life, he had a god complex or something similar.
  • Laughably Evil: He'll make you laugh with shock at his brazenness, if nothing else, even while talking about his atrocities.
  • No Indoor Voice: Almost all of his lines are shouted.
  • No Swastikas: Completely absent on his uniform.
  • Once per Episode: It's customary for Hitler to make one off-color Holocaust joke in each of his raps and utter the phrase "I am Adolf Hitler" at least once.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: It's Hitler. Of course he's not going to be fond of Jewish people, or black people for that reason.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: Type C; his goofiness makes it easy to forget how evil he is, at least until the 3rd instalment when he murders Boba Fett onscreen because he's mad that Vader beat him.
  • The Sociopath: Shows no regrets or remorse for his deeds, and frequently makes light of them.
  • Sealed Evil in a Can: His final fate is to be trapped by Ghostbusters in the Season 4 trailer and deposisted in their containment unit.
  • Stupid Jetpack Hitler: His claim of going back in time to make Vader whack in the Star Wars prequels.
  • Teeny Weenie: Vader claims he has a "Napoleon dick".
  • Terrible Artist: According to Vader. The real life version washed out of art school.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He gives a particularly devastating one to Vader in their second battle; his family trouble, Palpatine's 'whore' etc.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: Duh; he's the head Nazi and wackier than all of them.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Darth Vader tells him that he should have known better than to have invaded Russia, without being properly supplied and kitted out for winter warfare. Especially because Napoleon made this exact mistake a century before him.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: He was never a pleasant person to begin with, but in his final match with Darth Vader, he drops the Faux Affably Evil attitude and spews insults at his opponent.
  • Villainous Breakdown: His final verse is composed entirely of insults that don't rhyme, delivered right after Darth Vader rips into everything that Hitler did and summons Boba Fett.
  • Villainous Valour: He's ready to rap within seconds of being thawed out of carbonite (painful, debilitating, and blinding).

Darth Vader

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • A Father to His Men: He notes that millions of his Storm Troopers would be willing to die for him.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: "I'm the original dark lord; you're like the sorcerer's apprentice".
  • Badass: Just like in the movies.
  • Badass Baritone: It may not be James Earl Jones' voice, but it's still quite deep.
  • Badass Cape: A little shorter than his movie counterpart, but still present.
  • Breakout Character: Alongside Hitler.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: The whole reason why he and Hitler battle is that they both regard themselves as the more evil of the two.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Used the force to choke Hitler, then proceeded to freeze him in carbonite in the first rap battle. Later, in the second rap battle, he promptly drops Hitler into the Rancor Pit when he's on a roll. Finally, in the third rap battle, Darth Vader cuts Adolf Hitler in half with his lightsaber while he was in the middle of a verse.
  • Cool Helmet: Vader's iconic helmet is present.
  • The Dragon: Hitler calls him "the Emperor's whore".
  • Even Evil Has Standards:
    • He mocks Hitler's attempts to convince the world the Jews are evil. This may be less standards and more insulting him through his failures, though given how he mentions that he has a "homeboy in Israel" and generally seems to hate Hitler, it might be a case of both.
    • He won't use the C word, even interrupting his own rap to avoid it.
  • Evil Overlord: Though he's technically The Dragon for Emperor Palpatine, most of the Empire's armies report to him. They show up in his first verse and freeze Hitler in carbonite.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: His deep baritone voice works well for the Sith Lord.
  • Eviler Than Thou: Everything Hitler did, Vader invented it!
  • Fallen Hero: Once the chosen one, now a tyrannical Sith Lord.
    Hitler: You got one bitch pregnant and gave into the hate!
  • Just Toying with Them: Vader only thawed Hitler from carbonite to have a rematch and to drop him into the Rancor pit.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: To Hitler. In their first rap battle he freezes him in carbonite. In their second, he thaws him out just to toy with him, then drops him into the Rancor pit. In their third, he tries feeding him to the Sarlaac beast, and after Hitler shoots Boba Fett he decides to cut him in half.
  • Last-Second Word Swap: Evidently; Vader ends one line with "runt" and pauses halfway through the follow-up seemingly because he hesitates to use the most obvious rhyme. One Stormtrooper suggests a Painful Rhyme and he decides to roll with it.
  • Luke, I Am Your Father: Vader may or may not know if he's Hitler's father, because he used the line in conjunction with a Your Mom joke.
  • Nightmare Face: Without the mask, his face is seriously scarred - and it's not presented in an Ugly Cute sort of way as it was in Return Of The Jedi.
  • Pragmatic Villainy: While he, in part, believes that Hitler is a disgusting being, pragmatism is also a reason that he mocks Hitler. He's aware that a regime based on nationalism and racism can only persist for so long, before it eventually falls apart from the pressure of having so many enemies.
  • Psychic Powers: Darth Vader is force-sensitive, after all. He uses it to force choke Hitler in the first rap.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: Type C; Not as much as Hitler, but a lot of his insults in the first battle sound like they come from a 13-year old on Xbox Live.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He absolutely tears into Hitler's political opinions and his military strategy in his third battle with him.
  • Sell Out: According to Hitler. He isn't going to let Vader forget that Disney owns his franchise anytime soon.
  • Vader Breath: Hitler exploits by saying he should use the force to fix his respirator.
  • You Need a Breath Mint: According to Hitler he needs a 'life saver' instead of a 'light saber'.
  • Your Mom: "So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father?!"

Abraham Lincoln

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Authority Equals Asskicking: The 16th President of the United States.
  • Badass Beard: "I won the Civil War with my beard!"
  • The Cameo: Abraham Lincoln briefly appears in the Season 3 premiere, as Hitler's (attempted) executioner.
  • Cannot Tell a Lie: Whatever he speaks is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. "I won't tell a lie and I won't start now!"
  • Complaining about Shows You Don't Watch: An In-Universe defiance. Evidently Abraham Lincoln doesn't approve of such behavior, and he draws the line at it: "I'd make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger / but I've never even seen that show!"
  • Giant Flyer: The guy's air-dropped and carried off by an eagle.
  • Hard Head: He can catch bullets with his skull!
  • Hostile Show Takeover: Towards the end of the Obama VS. Romney match he drops in and steals the show.
  • Large Ham:
    By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird,
  • Nice Hat: His signature top hat.
  • No Indoor Voice: Mainly in his second appearance where he's shouting every word.
  • Our Presidents Are Different: As President Action, he interrupts the rap battle between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama to slap them both.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: In Obama vs. Romney, when the two devolve into childish insults, Lincoln reroutes the debate back to the actual issues at hand, and accurately points out the faults of both of them while also acknowledging the valid points they make. In general, he is probably the most sympathetically portrayed of the authority figures shown in the series and is the one who seems most fit to be in charge. He also refuses to criticize a show without watching it.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Delivers to Obama ("Don't talk about change, just do it!") and Romney ("You're a pancake, fliptopity!") Interestingly, he seems to appreciate Obama to some degree though he's disappointed in him, while he just insults Romney.
  • Took a Level in Badass: He goes from doing okay in his battle against Chuck Norris, to bitch-slapping Obama and Romney.

Chuck Norris

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Asskicking Equals Authority: Many of the characters on the show are presidents, kings, emperors, etc. Chuck, on the other hand, has no sort of official rank at all. He's everyone's master because he can kick all their asses. (Except Bruce Lee.)
  • Badass Beard: Lincoln briefly refers to it; mentioning the Chuck Norris fact that it can block bullets.
  • Badass Boast: Seven in a row, which comprise his second verse, all belted out at the top of his lungs as he's one hundred feet tall, glowing, and on fire.
    My hands make the speed of light WISH THAT IT WAS FASTER!
  • Berserk Button: When Abraham Lincoln dumps a bucket of pennies on his head, he gets mad. And shortly after, Lincoln says he'd make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger, but he never watched it, then Chuck explodes:
  • Eldritch Abomination: His second verse implies that he's not human and instead a Cosmic Horror beyond human comprehension; he grows to 100 ft, glows, his voice echoes, and according to his boasts he makes the laws of physics twist into knots.
  • Nice Hat: Wears a cowboy hat during his first verse.
  • No Indoor Voice: During his second verse when he activates his Super Mode and becomes gigantic.
  • Offhand Backhand: During his first verse, he casually defeats a few different attacks without looking at them or breaking his lyrical flow.
  • Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: His fists are faster than the speed of light.
  • Super Mode: In the form of Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever.

Sarah Palin

Played by: Lisa Nova

Lady Gaga

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Kim Jong-Il

Played by: Timothy Delaghetto

  • A God Am I: Arrogantly proclaims this word for word.
  • Anime Hair: Hulk Hogan says it makes him look like Sonic the Hedgehog's mom.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: He's a dictator of a country with nuclear weapons.
  • Berserk Button: He flips out when Hulk Hogan thinks that Beijing is in North Korea.
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: "North Korea bitch let me give you a tour, by the way, your wife says my dick is bigger than yours!"
  • BFG: A rocket launcher.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Why rap when you can shoot the other guy with a RPG-7?
  • Fat Bastard: Made even worse considering that he starves his own people.
  • Groin Attack: Threatens to do this to Hogan: "I'll suplex you by your friggin' dick hair!"
  • Historical Villain Downgrade: While still clearly an asshole, his notoriety of violating human rights is only mentioned in passing.
  • Jerkass: He thinks pretty highly of himself even though he's clearly a dick.
  • The Napoleon: He's a lot shorter than either of his opponents and isn't shy about being aggressive towards both of them. Savage briefly refers to it.
    Macho Man: I don't like to hit little bitches with glasses, but when midgets step up, I stomp midget asses.
  • Sinister Shades: They cover his eyes and he never takes them off.
  • Take That: Sneaks in a reference to Hogan's steroid abuse.

The Mega Powers - Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage

Hulk Hogan Played by: Peter Shukoff
Macho Man Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Badass Beard: Randy's beard is wild and makes him look tough, while Hogan has his trademark 'stache.
  • Badass Moustache: Hulk sports an awesome handlebar.
  • Celebrity Endorsement
    Randy Savage: Watch me snap into a Slim-Jim Kim Jong-Il!
  • The Cameo: Randy Savage briefly appears in the Season 3 premiere.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Savage has no problem hitting aggressive midgets, though he does express that he prefers not to hit guys with glasses.
  • Cool Shades: Randy's shades are definitely an 80s throwback.
  • Dumb Blonde: What Kim Jong-Il thinks of Hulk Hogan after Hogan's Global Ignorance shines through.
  • Eagle Land: Both have a mix of Type 1 and 2, they're the good guys, but they have Global Ignorance, solve all their problems with violence and threats of it, etc.
  • Global Ignorance: Hulk thinks Beijing is in Korea.
  • Made of Iron: Hulk survives a missile!
  • Nice Hat: Randy's hat and Hulk's bandanna.
  • Take Up My Sword: Randy Savage does this, as he only comes into the match after Hogan is hit by a rocket and unable to continue.

Ludwig van Beethoven

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Justin Bieber

Played by: Alex Farnham

  • Bratty Half-Pint: An arrogant child trying to run with a famous musician.
  • Curb Stomp Cushion: He may not do that well, but he does get one or two good hits in, like when he tells Beethoven that his own music made him deaf or when he offers him aspirin and says, "You're catching Bieber Fever tonight!"
  • Kid-anova: If his verses are to be believed, he can seduce older women.
  • I Just Want to Be Badass: Why he trades blows with a music legend; he wants to be as badass as him.
  • Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Beethoven calls him a "little white Usher".
  • Teeny Weenie: When Beethoven tells Bieber he can't even hit puberty, Bach again pops up on screen, making a sad face, and another "it was this big" gesture, holding his finger and thumb roughly an inch apart.

Albert Einstein

Played by: Zach Sherwin

  • Badass Bookworm: He blows minds with his battle theory.
  • Badass Mustache: Has the one that the real Einstein famously did.
  • Einstein Hair: The man himself.
  • Jerkass: Some of his raps are directly aimed at Hawking's disability.
  • Large Ham: Very passionate and his gestures make him seem even more so next to the immobile Hawking.
  • Pungeon Master: "Minds are relatively blown," "Albert E. equals MC squared"... the list goes on.

Stephen Hawking

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Genghis Khan

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Easter Bunny

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Bowties Are Cool: Wears a large one and it's as cool as he is (I.e. not at all).
  • Break the Haughty: He claims that he deserves to be arrogant, but gets his ass handed to him by Genghis.
  • Butt Monkey: Not surprisingly, he gets destroyed in the rap battle.
  • Joke Character: Not even The Announcer is impressed.
  • Killer Rabbit: What he claims; can't back it up.
  • Mascot: One in denial, for Hallmark, according to Genghis Khan.
  • Nice Guy: Claims to be one when he talks about giving people candy.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Napoleon Dynamite

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Benjamin Franklin

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Billy Mays and Vince Offer

Billy Played by: Colin J. Sweeney
Vince Played by: Peter Shukoff


Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Albus Dumbledore

Played by: Peter Shukoff

William Shakespeare

Played by: George Watsky

  • Alas Poor Yorik: Holds up the famous skull just before kicking into Motor Mouth.
  • Antiquated Linguistics: Complete with Iambic Pentameter considering how old he is compared to Dr.Seuss.
  • Badass Beard: He has a nice goatee like the Real Life Shakespeare with a Badass Mustache to boot.
  • Cultured Badass: He'll chew you out in accurate Iambic Pentameter.
  • Gratuitous Iambic Pentameter: His first verse is structured like one of his plays.
  • Jaw Drop: His second verse, which is a case of Motor Mouth, provokes this from both Seuss and the Cat in the Hat.
  • Kill 'em All: One of his plays, Macbeth, is described as "1 + 2 = so much blood."
  • Motor Mouth: Turns into one for his second verse. The Cat in the Hat is not impressed. "You rap fast, you do; you rap fast it's true, but let's see how you do against Thing 1 and Thing 2!"
  • Sophisticated as Hell: Will mix lines from his play with rather pedestrian insults.
    I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades, then ask "What light through yonder poser breaks?"

Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss Played by: Mickey Meyer
The Cat in the Hat Played by: Peter Shukoff
Things 2 and 1 both Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Art Initiates Life: He creates the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 and Thing 2 from drawings.
  • Ax-Crazy: Things 1 and 2 spout nothing but bloodthirsty lines, and seem like they would love to physically harm Shakespeare.
  • Badass Bookworm: He's very quiet and doesn't look too physically intimidating, but he doesn't need to be when he can summon his creations to kick ass for him.
  • Berserk Button: Don't accuse him of writing the Twilight books.

Mr. T

Played by: De Storm

  • Badass Beard: Retains the intimidating and badass beard Mr. T had in Rocky III.
  • Badass Crew: He's got the A-Team to help him out.
  • Berserk Button: He doesn't react kindly to being called dumb.
  • Bling of War: His neck chains are all gold. He threatens to dip Mr. Roger's friends in the gold and add them to his collection.
  • Dumb Muscle: Mister Rogers claims that he calls himself "T" because he's "too dumb to spell".
  • No Indoor Voice: Most of his lines are shouted and are much, much louder than those of Mr. Rogers.
  • No-Nonsense Nemesis: His lines don't contain any jokes or funny bits; they're straight out attacks.
  • Scary Black Man: The real Mr. T is famous for this and it's played up here too. Lots of threats and stuff.
  • Trash Talk: His lines are exclusively this. A lot of rappers go for boasting about themselves, he just goes on the attack.
  • True Companions: The A-Team's got his back.
  • Verbal Tic: "Punk!", "Fool!" and "Sucka!"

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Ax-Crazy: Slips into this when Mr. T says he'll "call CPS about them kids on your lap!"
  • Badass Grandpa: He's a very good rapper in spite of his advanced age.
  • Batter Up: Mr. McFeely carries one.
  • Berserk Button: Accusations of child molestation make him take a nasty turn.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Acts friendly through much of his lines, but when Mr. T accuses him of child molestation, he drops the friendly attitude and gets serious. He also threatens to cut MR. T into pieces. And at the end of his second verse, Mr. McFeely can be seen in the background, menacingly holding a baseball bat, apparently ready to use it if Mr. T doesn't leave.
  • Creepy Monotone: Part of his second verse is delivered this way, when he's obviously seething about being accused of child molestation.
  • Dissonant Serenity: He smiles fondly and nonchalantly changes his shoes while Mr. T threatens him and curses him out.
  • Lethal Joke Character: Note how the music changes when he's announced; it seems to be setting up for a Curb-Stomp Battle reminiscent of Genghis Khan vs. the Easter Bunny, but he proceeds to have a chilling rap of his own.
  • Nice Guy: He's one of the few characters who's polite to his opponent. The worst he does insult-wise is friendly teasing. Then his Berserk Button is pushed.
  • Nice Shoes: Mentions putting on his sneakers so he won't get blood on his penny loafers.
  • OOC Is Serious Business: Mister Rogers gladly accepts anyone into his neighborhood, except for people who call him a pedophile. Then shit will get real.
  • Precision F-Strike: Delivers a pointed one to Mr. T; "get the fuck out of my neighbor".
  • Tranquil Fury: Rogers is clearly pissed at Mr. T's joke about child molestation, but his only reaction is to slip into a calm, even, and creepy monotone. This is noteworthy given that he was jovial until that point.

Christopher Columbus

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Captain James T. Kirk

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist


Played by: Himself

  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: "Man, you don't even need to say that kind of shit. Fuck the rap battles and you. I quit!" Defied by Kassem, "You're gonna make them bigger and better."
  • 10-Minute Retirement: Kassem makes his "the battles will continue" declaration ten seconds after Nice Peter's declaration that they will end.


Played by: Himself

     Season 2 

Master Chief

Played by: Peter Shukoff


Played by: Jesse Welle
Voiced by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Badass Family: Claims his 'six year old son' puts up a better fight than Master Chief.
  • Blood Knight: He's clearly enjoying the rap battle.
  • The Cameo: Leonidas briefly appears in the Season 3 premiere.
  • Heroic Build: "I don't need firepower when I'm rocking these guns!"
  • Large Ham: EpicLLOYD is definitely trying to equal the hamminess that Gerard Butler showed in the film.
  • Made of Iron: Claims his abs are harder than armor. They're certainly harder than pottery.
  • Motor Mouth: Not as much as Shakespeare, but he speaks one line particularly fast:
    Leonidas: I'll stomp you in the face with my sandals enraged and tonight we shall rhyme in the shade!
  • No Indoor Voice: He yells all of his lines.
  • Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: THIS! IS!! SPARTA!!!
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Master Chief's blue; shouting and passion and dramatic gestures.
  • Rock Beats Laser: His opinion.
  • Sword And Sandal: This is all he wears, plus a cape.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Master Chief lampshades this: 'You got a bad case of 'no-shirt' there, Fabio Flintstone.'

The Mario Brothers

Mario Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
Luigi Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Large Hams: In contrast to the more mechanical Wright brothers, the Marios are louder and more passionate.
  • No Indoor Voice: Luigi has his volume stuck on high.

The Wright Brothers

Wilbur Played by: Rhett McLaughlin
Orville Played by: Link Neal

Michael Jackson

Child!MJ Played by: Bentley Green
Adult!MJ Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Musical Assassin: His older version threatens to whoop Elvis' "big fat ass with [his] shiny glove".
  • Nice Hat: Has his fedora in his second verse.
  • Pretty Boy: In the second verse due to the androngous way he grew up.
  • Red Baron: King of Pop.
  • Shotacon: Accused by Elvis of spending too much time "teaching kids the birds and the bees".

Elvis Presley

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Big Eater: Which leads into "Fat Elvis."
  • Fat and Proud: Upon noticing his immensely gross weight gain, he looks positively enthused, and continues wolfing food down. Come his second verse, his being fat and old, against all common sense, makes him even more awe-inspiring than before.
  • Hot-Blooded Sideburns: Double-subverted. As "Thin Elvis" he was more composed and smooth but then later he becomes more hotblooded.
  • Hypocrite: MJ's counter to the birds and the bees when Elvis "meet [his] own wife when she was only fourteen."
  • Lolicon: MJ tries to imply this with Elvis' wife considering that she was 14 at the time of their marriage.
  • Man in White: After he gains weight, he puts on his Iconic Outfit.
  • Mic Drop: Does this at the end of his verse and then he walks off.
  • Papa Wolf: "I only let you marry my daughter cause I knew you'd never bang her!"
  • Power-Up Food: His peanut butter and banana sandwiches, which he overeats during Michael's second verse, transforms him in time for his own second verse.
  • Red Baron: King of Rock'n'Roll.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: His last lyric.
  • Stout Strength: He might be fat, but he is NOT weak.
  • The Can Kicked Him: "Well, I died on the shitter, but I don't give a crap!"
  • Too Hot for TV: Lampshaded by Child!MJ's lyric about Ed Sullivan; "shoot you from the waist up!"


Played by: Angela Trimbur

Marilyn Monroe

Played by: Kimmy Greenwood

Steve Jobs

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Combat Pragmatist: He starts rapping before the announcer finishes the introductions and tries to blitz Gates with that early advantage.
  • Even Nerds Have Standards: Implies that Gates is too much of a nerd; "I'm a pimp, you're a nerd."
  • Friendly Enemy: He and Gates are obviously friends even though they unleash cutting snark on each other.
  • Glad I Thought of It: Gates accuses him of stealing the credit for other people's work.
  • Insufferable Genius: Gates considers him to be one. "You arrogant prick!"
  • I Take Offense to That Last One: The only time Gates gets a direct reaction from Jobs is when he points out the real life tendency of Jobs to take credit for the work of others, then asks if Steve Wozniak wrote the lyrics that Jobs is rapping to.
  • Stoic Spectacles: Studious, but not aloof.
  • Technician Vs Performer: Embodies the performer side. Many of his arguments revolve around artists and creative types preferring Apple products, and that people enjoy them more.
  • Worthy Opponent: To Gates who respects him.
  • Your Mom: When he makes a reference about making the GUI that Melinda Gates uses, he does so complete with eyebrows raised and a hip thrusting dance move.

Bill Gates

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • A God Am I: Explicitly says so. "I'm a god! Own Xbox!"
  • Badass Bookworm: He looks the part with his glasses and vest; he's very dangerous.
  • Deadpan Snarker:
    Steve Jobs: All the people with the power to create use an Apple!
    Bill Gates: And people with jobs use PC.
  • Drunk with Power: Everything before Steve's death was playful jibing. Afterwards, he goes nuts, possibly leading to the creation of HAL 9000, who in turn implies a Terminator-esque apocalypse.
  • Friendly Enemy: In retrospect, his and Jobs' rap battle was affectionate, and far and away the least antagonistic match-up in the series.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: HAL implies that Gates is responsible for his creation.
  • How Dare You Die on Me!: Gets hit hard with this after Steve Jobs dies. "Fine! Wanna be like that!? DIE THEN!"
  • Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: He doesn't do anything particularly horrible, but goes overboard with Pride and Badass Boasts when Steve Jobs leaves. In the process he may have tinkered with forces beyond his understanding.
  • Lonely at the Top: Without Steve Jobs.
    Fine, you wanna be like that, die then! The whole world loved you, but you were my friend! I'm alone now with nothing but power and time...
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: His creations end up progenerating HAL 9000.
  • Not Hyperbole: The real life version really does donate more than Steve Job's Net worth, Over 40 Billion while Steve only has a net worth of 8 billion, so it's quite possible that he's donating more than Job's net worth to AIDS research in particular.
  • Oh, Crap: After HAL starts speaking he is worried. In the behind the scenes video, he is told to imagine that he just walked into a cave... and then realized there was a lion already inside it.
  • Antagonist in Mourning : After Steve Jobs goes to heaven he is distraught.
  • Pet the Dog:
    • He notes that he donates Jobs's net worth to AIDS research.
    • Also, he refers to Jobs as his friend after Jobs dies.
  • Pride: See A God Am I.
  • Take Over the World: Proclaims the world to be his when Jobs disappears... right before HAL starts speaking to him.
  • Technician Vs Performer: Embodies the technician side. Many of his arguments revolve around PCs being used by people for practical things, or being more practical for business.
  • Teeny Weenie: Jobs suggests that he has one by claiming that he named his company (Microsoft) after his penis.
  • The Short Guy with Glasses: Not a youngster, but Epic Lloyd isn't a tall guy.
  • Victory Is Boring: The latter half of the line "I'm alone now with nothing but power and time, and no one on Earth who can challenge my mind" after Steve vanishes implies this.
  • Worthy Opponent: Considers Steve Jobs to be the only one on his intellectual level, the feeling seems mutual.

HAL 9000

Voiced by: Peter Shukoff

Frank Sinatra

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • The Alcoholic: Carries a drink throughout the rap.
  • Berserk Button: Don't use racial slurs around him.
  • Black Best Friend: "I like the colors and the queers; just ask Sammy Davis."
  • Cultured Badass: He has tons of class and kicks lots of ass.
  • Crippling Overspecialization: Freddie accuses him of having this because all Frank can do is sing, and only in a certain style. Sinatra doesn't act note , dance and he didn't write (the song called "My Way", as Mercury points out.)
  • Deadpan Snarker
    Whoa, what's wrong with your face, baby? Yikes!
    With those teeth, when you're through there'll be no dust left to bite!
    Easy, Jaws-Of-Life! I can't stand a racist!
  • Deliberate Values Dissonance:
    • He's clearly a product of his times, for better or for worse, including using terms like "coloreds" which wouldn't fly today.
    • For all his rather offensive remarks towards Mercury's camp-ness, he maintains that he has nothing against gays (or other races) and is friends with Sammy Davis Jr., and is disgusted by Mercury's own racist comments. note  His ridiculing of Freddie has as much to do with Mercury's promiscuity as it does with his orientation.
  • Dirty Coward: Freddie Mercury calls him this by referencing how Sinatra did not serve in WWII, and at the time was vilified for it. note 
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He'll make fun of Freddy Mercury for being blatantly bisexual, but tossing out slurs is below him.
  • Fair for Its Day: In-Universe. While he's not a bigot, per se, he's perfectly willing to mock Mercury's bisexuality and promiscuity.
  • Good Old Ways: Clearly prefers the aesthetics of his own time; he thinks that Freddie's dressed down style and larger than life antics lack class and refinement.
  • Irony: Pointed out by Mercury. One of his greatest hits was "My Way" and it was written by somebody else.
  • Jerkass: Makes several jokes about Freddie's bisexuality, and one about Freddie getting AIDS. Then again, see Deliberate Values Dissonance.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: However, he loves "the colors and the queers" and you can ask his Black Best Friend, Sammy Davis, if you don't believe him. And he calls out Freddie Mercury on his racist remarks.
  • The Mafia: Is in their pockets, if Freddie's to be believed.
  • Moral Myopia: He's the one who starts making jokes that are less than politically correct, but gets steamed under the collar when Freddie ups the ante.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: In contrast to Mercury he's wearing a suit.
  • Uranus Is Showing: He says that Freddie should've had his last name changed to Uranus instead of Mercury.

Freddie Mercury

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Agent Peacock: One of the most flamboyant rappers on the show, but that doesn't detract from his rhymes in any way.
  • Attention Whore: Sinatra accuses him of being one.
    That's what's wrong with you people; you'll do anything to get famous.
  • Badass Boasts: All over the place; "My songs have balls; anthems of victory!"
  • Badass Gay: Mocking his sexuality just gives him more ammo.
  • Badass Mustache: Sinatra is clean shaven and less gusto.
  • Bi the Way: Though Sinatra dismisses him as exclusively homosexual, he mentions offhandedly that he swung with girls too in his second verse.
  • British Teeth: Mocked by Sinatra; 'jaws of life' for instance.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: He considers his death by AIDS to be one, since it let others know about the disease.
  • Jack-of-All-Trades: Prides himself on being talented in multiple fields and his versatility allows him to excel in various ways.
  • Large Ham: He doesn't rap, he performs! He sings and dances and has fireworks!
  • Never Heard That One Before: When Sinatra starts the gay jokes Freddie says he's heard them all before.
  • Not So Different: Frank may not be the most tasteful man around, but at least he never used an actual slur. Freddie does when talking about Frank's benefactors.
    Freddie: Guinea dago!
    Frank: Guinea dago?!
    Freddie: Guinea dago, figaro!
  • Pay Evil unto Evil: Since Sinatra got the ball rolling with homophobic jokes Mercury responded by dropping some racial slurs.
  • Rated M for Manly: Says his songs have balls compared to Sinatra's, which could serve as "the soundtrack to a vasectomy".
  • Really Gets Around: Lampshaded by both parties. Freddie's games of "butthole roulette" were his ultimate downfall.
  • The Rock Star: In contrast to Sinatra he has pyrotechnics in his background.
  • Technician vs. Performer: He casts the battle between himself and Frank as this, with Freddie as the performer while Frank is that more boring technician. Although he also rips the technician side of things when he says of Sinatra "You've got four notes in your whole range!"
  • Wholesome Crossdresser: Shamelessly admits to wearing women's pants.

Mitt Romney

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Ad Hominem: Resorts to using them at the end; 'you're a stuttering communist!'
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Less than Obama, since he's only governor.
  • Jerkass: Doesn't hesitate to make snide remarks about Obama's parents, allude to Obama growing up as a child of divorce that had little knowledge of his father, or insult Michelle Obama. The closest Obama comes to that level is making a joke about Mormon polygamy that was just an excuse to flip Romney off.
  • Lantern Jaw of Justice: Claims to have a strong chin and stronger raps while also being better suited as America's president.
  • Meaningful Name: Obama jokes he's called Mitt because he's the Republican's puppet. Specifically, a sock puppet...
  • Puppet King: Obama suggests that he's just a mouthpiece for the Republican party as a whole.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The red to Obama's blue. Justified: Romney's a Republican.
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Money!
    Mitt Romney: I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts!
    I'm rich! I got fat stacks and Super PACs!
  • Sheltered Aristocrat: He's not too shaken up over the whole 47% thing.
  • Sleazy Politician: He claims that he's less interested in his Super PACs advertising the truth over slamming his opponent.
  • Your Mom: Makes jokes about Obama's parents and his wife.

Barack Obama

Played by: Iman Crosson

Doc Emmett Brown

Doc Brown Played by: Zach Sherwin
Marty McFly Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Adaptational Villainy: Hard to picture the original Doc Brown allying himself with the Daleks, or commanding one to kill the Doctor.
  • Combat Pragmatist: He pulls a Dalek from out of nowhere to kill the Doctor before he can finish his rap.
  • Cool Car: The Delorean is as stylish as ever.
  • Deadly Doctor: A "real doctor" who commits murder.
  • Einstein Hair: A well known Einstein expy, or in the words of The Doctor, "Einstein wannabe minus the stache".
  • Frozen Face: In his intro and at certain points in the battle, his face is frozen in this ridiculous mouth-gaping frown with his eyebrows raised in surprise.
  • Gadgeteer Genius: The time-traveling DeLorean he makes, as well as a remote to summon and control a Dalek.
  • Guttural Growler: His voice is diabolically low.
  • I Am Your Opponent: The 4th Doctor trails off into a jab against Marty, and Doc Brown declares "Your fight is with me, Scarfy!"
  • Large Ham: He's incredibly spastic in just about everything he does (although his rap has surprising flow regardless).
  • Mad Scientist: He has hints of this with his Dalek controlling device.
  • Milking the Giant Cow: He can't keep his hands still.
  • Negative Space Wedgie: The Doctor insists that Doc Brown can't make one to save his life.
  • No Indoor Voice: He's shouting almost all the time.
  • Nobody Calls Me Chicken: The Trope Namer, Marty McFly himself said this in response to the 4th Doctor calling him a chicken, complete with an epic guitar riff.
  • Not: His first line.
    Great Scott, you're great! Not!
  • Pædo Hunt: Doc is accused of being a pedophile.
  • Papa Wolf: When the Doctor makes fun of Marty McFly, he jumps to defend him.
  • Rhymes on a Dime: He maintains that he's better at it than the Doctor and indeed, he doesn't have a single Painful Rhyme while the Doctor has many.

The Doctor

The 10th Doctor Played by: Peter Shukoff
The 4th Doctor Played by: George Watsky

  • Absent-Minded Professor: The 10th Doctor begins his verse correcting the Announcer (see I Am Not Shazam below), only to trail off mid-tangent and ask who he's talking to.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: The 10th Doctor wears a pinstripe suit while kicking ass and rapping.
  • The Cameo: The 4th Doctor briefly appears in the Season 3 premiere.
  • Chaste Hero: He couldn't be having less sex with all his numerous companions.
  • Death Is Cheap: The 10th Doctor comes back through time travel.
  • I Am Not Shazam: Gets this In-Universe. His name is the Doctor. He corrects the announcer right after he refers to him as "Doctor Who".
  • Know When To Fold Them: He decides against taking Doc Brown on a second time after the stuff he pulled the first time.
  • Large Ham: The 4th Doctor has no sense of subtlety.
  • Motor Mouth: The 4th Doctor talks very fast.
  • Mythology Gag: This isn't the first time the 10th Doctor was struck down by a Dalek.
  • The Nth Doctor: The 10th and 4th Doctors both show up.
  • Scarf of Asskicking: The 4th Doctor wears one and has a more blistering rap than the 10th.
  • Set Right What Once Went Wrong: Due to time reversing towards the end of the episode, he stops the rap before he can be killed again.
  • Special Effects Failure: In-Universe, Doc Brown says that the Doctor's special effects are terrible. As Doc Brown says that, you can see the TARDIS floating in the background and the strings holding it up and the hand holding the strings are all clearly visible.
  • Take Up My Sword: The 10th Doctor was killed by a Dalek and The 4th Doctor took over for the rest of the rap.
  • Time Machine: The TARDIS is used to reset the battle and revive the 10th Doctor.
  • Timey-Wimey Ball: He starts the titular monologue, but decides against it mid-rap.
  • Wham Line: "Perhaps you'd like another?"

Bruce Lee

Played by: Mike Diva

Clint Eastwood

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. John Watson

Sherlock Played by: Zach Sherwin
Watson Played by: Kyle Mooney

  • Awesomeness by Analysis:
    • Holmes successfully deduces Batman's identity through a couple of minor similarities. He also puzzles out the event that inspired him to become a crime-fighter.
    • Also in slow motion, he analyzes Batman and plans his way through the next line in his rap. Similar to the famous bare-knuckle boxing scene from the 2009 film.
    Holmes: "This mustn't register on an emotional level. First, exploit childhood tragedy, then gesture with pipe. Watson finishes punchline. Next, acknowledge compliment. Conclude with killer Catchphrase."
  • Badass Bookworms: Sherlock's a famous detective and a boxer while his sidekick is a war veteran.
  • Breaking Speech: His second verse is clearly meant to be this: "This mustn't register on an emotional level..."
  • Catchphrase: Invoked by Holmes with 'conclude with killer catchphrase'.
  • Composite Character: Sherlock Holmes's look is clearly based on that of Basil Rathbone (based on the happy accident that MC Mr. Napkins looks a lot like him), but he carries elements of the 2009 film portrayal.
  • Cultural Posturing:
    Watson: "I heard he has a British butler."
    Holmes: "Good. Then he'll be used to being served by Englishmen."
  • Deadly Doctor: Watson is a doctor and a brilliant rapper.
  • Dying Alone: According to Batman, this will happen to Holmes because no one likes him.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Holmes is this according to Batman, who claims that people merely tolerates Holmes, hence why Batman expects him to die alone.
  • Insufferable Genius: Part of his battle plan for the second verse involves acknowledging a compliment.
  • Kick the Dog: Holmes mocks Batman for the death of his parents.
  • Nice Hat: Batman says so sarcastically. He actually thinks it's dorky.
  • Smoking Is Cool: It's not Holmes without his pipe!
  • Sophisticated as Hell Terms like "Batshit crazy" mix with Sherlock's usual eloquence.
  • The Watson: In Sherlock's last verse, Watson simply praises him.

Batman & Robin

Batman Played by: Peter Shukoff
Robin Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist


Played by: Snoop Dogg/Snoop Lion

Santa Claus

Santa Played by: Peter Shukoff
Elves Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist


Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist


Played by: Jenna Marbles

  • All Periods Are PMS: Adam compares her periods to demonic possession.
  • Godiva Hair: Averted, which is notable considering every modernization of Eve plays this straight.
  • Grumby Bear: She's really angry through her verses, making a big deal out of everything.
  • Mood-Swinger: According to Adam she can metaphorically turn into a demon.
  • Ms. Fanservice: She's not nude like the tradition portrayal of Eve, but her outfit is still very revealing.
  • Parenting the Husband: A majority of her lines are attacks on Adam's laziness.

Mahatma Gandhi

Played by: Keegan-Michael Key

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Played by: Jordan Peele

Thomas Edison

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Nikola Tesla

Played by: Dante Cimadamore
Additional Tesla voice by: Peter Shukoff

Lance Armstrong

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Badass Boast: Even by this series 'I beat cancer, I can sure as hell crack you' stands out.
  • Battle Strip: Starts off wearing a suit, which he rips off, revealing his cycling uniform underneath.
  • Broken Pedestal: Accused of being this by Ruth because others put him on a pedestal when he was doping.
  • Cheaters Never Prosper: Ruth points out that his doping essentially ruined him.
  • Heroic Build: In contrast to the pudgy Ruth he calls himself the height of physical condition.
  • I Did What I Had to Do: Claims he did what he had to do to win.
  • Pædo Hunt: Courtesy of Ruth, who accuses him of molesting one of the Olsen Twins.

Babe Ruth

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Abusive Parents: His father was one, thus leading to his daddy issues below.
  • Agent Peacock: He's a bit foppish, but still capable of some nasty burns.
  • Child Prodigy: In his youth he was already talented; see his boast.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Not physically, but his name was written on Santa Claus' naughty list five battles earlier.
  • Elegant Classical Musician: In Skrillex's opinion this is inverted; his wooden instruments and classical style of dress make him look stupid.
  • I Resemble That Remark: After Skrillex claims that he has an unhealthy obsession with Toilet Humor, he makes two feces-based jokes about Skrillex's music.
  • Kissing Cousins: Skrillex claims that Mozart and his cousin Maria Anna Thekla engaged in more than kissing.
  • Starving Artist: Referenced by Skrillex.
  • Teeny Weenie: Skrillex claims he has a "little magic flute".
  • Toilet Humor: Skrillex claims he's obsessed with it.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Skrillex attacks him for his daddy issues, calling him a slave.


Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Grigori Rasputin

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Joseph Stalin

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Vladimir Lenin

Played by: Peter Shukoff

Mikhail Gorbachev

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Abusive Precursors: Claims that Russia was put on the road to ruin because of the faults of the previous leaders.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: General Secretary of the Soviet Union.
  • Badass Grandpa: Age-wise, he's the oldest of the Russian Five, but can hold his own in a battle.
  • Bald of Awesome: His dome is highlighted by his birthmark.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: He opened up the Soviet Union, and a can of whoop-ass too.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: He may seem like a goofball, but he's got great raps.
  • Borrowed Catchphrase: "Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid man, Oh yeah!"
  • Chummy Commies: Unlike Stalin and Lenin he "shook hands with both Ronalds; Regean and Mcdonald".
  • Distinguishing Mark: His birthmark. Was almost an "ERB" but it didn't work out.
  • Dirty Communists: Not as much as Stalin and Lenin, since he's much more mellow than them, here.
  • Fun Personified: Is the only one who looks like he's having a good time, is generally lighthearted and seems to have a permanent smile.
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: "Knock, knock, knock... did someone say 'birthmarks'?"note 
  • Knight of Cerebus: Inverted. His predecessors were still pretty silly, but they rapped about parental abuse, tyranny, murder, and betrayal. The darkest Gorbachev gets is blaming them for the Cold War.
  • Lethal Joke Character: He seems like just a friendly, goofy guy at first, but he spits very hot raps.
  • Nice Guy: Comparitively speaking, he's the contestant with the least skeletons in his closet. Most of his rhymes are good-natured and focused on his accomplishments instead of putting the other guys down.
  • Odd Name Out: He's the only contestant in the battle that doesn't have an "in" attached to the end of his name. note 
    "If your name end with "in" time to get out!"
  • Perpetual Smiler: He's got a giant smirk on his face the whole time.
  • Pet the Dog: References his reforms, attempts to open the Soviet Union and its people to the West and bringing down the Berlin Wall.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Insists that he's the only one in the Russian Five to be this.
  • Red Right Hand: Inverted. He has a birthmark on his forehead, but is the nicest of the Russian Five.
  • Token Good Teammate: Plays himself up as this, claiming the others were too aggressive.

Vladimir Putin

Played by: Peter Shukoff

     Season 3 

Boba Fett

Played by: Atul Singh & Brian Neunhoffer

  • Badass: "They call me Boba Fett, you wanna mess with me?"
  • Badass Cape: As per the outfit he normally has.
  • Bounty Hunter: His role according to Vader. "My bounter hunters ride for me."
  • The Cameo: In the season premiere.
  • The Dragon: To Darth Vader.
    Vader: Yo homeboy, finish this rap for me.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Hitler deals with him before he can finish his verse.
  • Killed Mid-Sentence: by Hitler via a gunshot.
  • Spotlight-Stealing Squad: Invoked; he claims that he steals the show as part of his job description. Subverted in the end: he dies before he can finish his verse. To make things worse, he's the only replacement rapper to die at all so far.
  • Stock Scream: The Wilhelm Scream.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: Start to finish, he's there for six seconds before Hitler kills him.


Played by: Peter Shukoff

Al Capone

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

Miley Cyrus

Played by: Michelle Glavan

  • Aside Glance: Blink and you'll miss it, but during Joan's second verse (around the end of "you ratchet skank"), Miley glances back at the camera, which is behind her, with a disgusted look.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Her outfit exposes her stomach.
  • Blasphemous Boast: "When I come under fire, I can hash-tag-handle-it! If God's in your corner, than girl you need better management!"
  • Deadpan Snarker: Her response to Joan's first verse is a sarcastic "Sweet burn." "No pun intended!"
  • Drop the Hammer: Downplayed. She's seen with one, but never uses it for...anything, really.
  • Maniac Tongue: Michelle did some research and noted that Miley regularly flashed her tongue.
  • Never Live It Down: In-universe, as Joan tries to invoke this in regards to Miley's twerking. Miley twerks throughout the video and even references it in her first verse.
  • No Sell: She doesn't lose her temper or seem intimidated once, even when Joan flips out near the end. She even brushes off said flip-off with a Stealth Insult. She brushes off everything Joan says.
  • Really Gets Around: Many of Joan's (and even some of Miley's) lines refer to this.
  • Shaking the Rump: Twerks both in the intro sequence and during Joan's first verse. The latter case may double as a taunt to Joan, since Miley was shaking her rear right in Joan's face.
  • Stealth Insult: After Joan flips out at her blaspheming, Miley just smirks and responds with this:
    "Sweet pun intended!"
  • That Man Is Dead: She says she killed her alter ego of Hannah Montana.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "It's Miley Cyrus, I'm the hottest thing since Britney, bitch!"

Joan of Arc

Played by: Jessi Smiles

Bob Ross

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Aerith and Bob: One thing Pablo points out is his own Overly Long Name, then says "Back to you, Bob."
  • Afro Asskicker: Even with the laid-back attitude, he's not to be messed with.
  • Badass Beard: Which goes well with his afro.
  • Meaningful Background Event: His background is black at first, just like the set of his show. However, during his first verse, he paints one of his famous landscapes onto the background (using the same "brushing" special effect his show would sometimes open with), and that becomes his background for the rest of the battle.
  • Mood-Swinger: Given how he's always calm and pleasant, it's a downplayed example.
    • While he acts one hundred percent cheerful in his own verses, he's shown with some combination of smugness and Tranquil Fury during Pablo's. Notice his derivative smirk when Pablo calls himself "the modern art Muhammad Ali" and his faltering smile when Pablo says he taught people how to suck at painting.
    • At the start of his second verse, he proudly declares that he served in the military for his first two lines, and he stops smiling in favour of having a neutral yet proud expression while saluting and posing. When his third line starts, he suddenly starts smiling again and does a goofy dance.
  • Nice Guy: It's difficult to tell if he's really trying to put down Picasso, or if he sees this as a friendly competition.
  • Patriotic Fervor: Proudly declares that he served 20 years in the United States Air Force.
  • Precision F-Strike: It's very mild, but the only time he swears in the entire battle.
    "Yo Pablo, you just got your happy little ass beat."
  • Perpetual Smiler: Falters a little when talking about his Air Force service (understandable, given he gave up life in the Air Force because he didn't enjoy being a Drill Sergeant Nasty), but the rest of the song? Grinning like crazy.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue Oni; He's famous for his calm, soft-spoken manner. It also applies to the backing track - his is distinctly calmer and less bombastic than Picasso's.

Pablo Picasso

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Bald of Awesome: He's bald and an accomplished artist.
  • Flipping the Bird: He does this with paint in the background of his first verse.
  • Foreshadowing: Calls himself the modern art Muhammad Ali. Ali would go up against Michael Jordan in the very next battle.
  • Gratuitous Spanish: Downplayed. The only time he speaks Spanish is as part of his Overly Long Name.
  • Insufferable Genius: His first line is "I am the greatest!" He's accused of being this by Bob, who calls him a 'moody little genius' and snarks that not all art has to be angsty.
  • Monochromatic Eyes: Black eyes, just like in real life. They count as Black Eyes of Evil if one considers him to be the antagonist of this battle (which, considering how his opponent acts, is likely true for many).
  • Overly Long Name: His full name - Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Marí­a de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santí­sima Trinidad Martyr Patricio Clito Ruiz y Picasso - takes up much of his second verse, and he doesn't even go through all of itnote 
  • Pet the Dog: Noticeably happier when he mentions his weiner dog, Lump.
  • Pretender Diss: Scoffs at Bob's lack of classical training and berates him for using the term "Cubist," claiming he doesn't even know the meaning of the word.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red Oni; he's loud and aggressive and bombastic. They basically painted him like the Ernest Hemingway of art.
  • Shirtless Scene: In the background, while painting the middle finger (see Flipping the Bird above), he is inexplicably shirtless.
  • Smoking Is Cool: He has a cigarette in his intro and a couple times in the battle.
  • True Art Is Angsty: An in-universe example. Bob accuses Picasso of this and specifically mentions his "Blue Period". This contrasts his own belief that paintings can be happy and loving.

Michael Jordan

Played by: Keegan Michael Key

  • Badass Baritone: His voice is quite deep.
  • Berserk Button: Does not take kindly to being accused of selling out.
  • Character Tic: Sticking his tongue out. Ali says it makes him look like a big dumb goblin.
  • Circling Monologue: His last verse is a textbook example; walking around Ali while proving his hypocrisy about "selling out".
  • Handicapped Badass: Says he could school Ali even if he had the flu.
  • In a Single Bound: He boasts his jumping ability as actual flight.
  • It's All About Me: Ali brings up his infamous ball-hogging by saying he should switch to professional golf so he can keep the ball all to himself.
  • Jerkass: Initiates the personal attacks between himself and Ali by mocking the latter's Parkinson's Disease.
  • Kick the Dog: The Parkinson's thing was a low blow.
  • Lightning Bruiser: A flying machine who drives through whole teams.
  • One-Man Army: Self-proclaimed. While Ali fights one guy, he can drive through a whole team.
  • Sell Out: Called this by Muhammad due to his mountain of endorsement deals, though he shoots back that Ali hardly was a stranger to that himself.
  • The Gambler: His betting woes are referenced by Ali.

Muhammad Ali

Played by: Jordan Peele

  • Afro Asskicker: A relatively subdued 'fro, but it still counts because he is still an asskicker.
  • Badass One of the greatest (in his opinion the greatest) boxers ever and now he shows his rapping skills.
  • Badass Boast: "I'll leave you like Liston, flat on your ass!"
  • Berserk Button: Gets noticeably more aggressive after Jordan calls him "Cassius". This actually was an easy way to set him off.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: He's a boxer and is very aggressive in his raps.
  • Draft Dodging: Ali was a conscientious objector who said that the Vietnam war, among other things, went against his Islamic beliefs, though Jordan claims he was just a coward.
  • Extremity Extremist: His fists and dope rhymes are the only weapons he needs.
  • Jerkass: As per his actual arrogant ring persona in real life. See Kick the Dog below.
  • Kick the Dog: Brings up the death of Jordan's father just so he could say his baseball career was a bigger tragedy.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Justified in that it's basically standard boxing protocol.

Donald Trump

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: He isn't known for his heart.
  • Dodgy Toupee: Scrooge doesn't believe in ghosts or his hair.
  • Everyone Has Standards: "I'm not known for my heart but you're still getting trumped!"
  • Fate Worse Than Death: Implied when he walks off chained to a briefcase, which becomes much more clear when you realize he fills the role originally played by Jacob Marley, who was also subjected to such a thing and tried to warn Scrooge to keep him from enduring the same fate.
  • Good Morning, Crono: He wakes up Scrooge to begin the rap battle.
  • Incoming Ham: His first line is belted out at the top of his lungs: "WAKE UP, SCROOGE!"
  • Jerkass: Only in the context of this particular battle; he's the only one who disses Scrooge rather than telling him to change his ways.
  • Jacob Marley Apparel: While not in the same way as the character he's based on, at the end he shows his chains attached to his brief case.
  • Jacob Marley Warning: Standing in for the trope namer.
  • Perpetual Frowner: Peter's attempt at getting the Donald look down has not gone unnoticed.
  • Scare 'Em Straight: Trump's ultimate goal is to scare decency into Scrooge.

Ebenezer Scrooge

Played by: Zach Sherwin

  • All-Loving Hero: At the end he vows to be a friend to all men.
  • Butt Monkey: He first gets startled awake by Trump, then yelled at by three rappers - the last of whom is Nightmare Fuel to him - until he nearly starts crying before changing his ways. This was bound to happen since the battle is an abridged version (with new characters) of A Christmas Carol.
  • Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?:
    "I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair!"
    "The only thing that scares me is your gross ghost proboscis!"
  • Grumpy Old Man: His first words are how upset he is that his nap was ruined.
  • The Scrooge: The man himself.

J.P. Morgan, The Ghost of Rich Dudes Past

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Badass Moustache: Properly rocks the monopoly of it.
  • Gag Nose: The only thing Scrooge is frightened of is Morgan's "gross ghost proboscis."
  • Honest Corporate Executive: In contrast to Trump he says that wealth in the heart is more important than wealth in the wallet.
  • Nice Guy: Talks about the importance of having a rich heart.
  • Nice Hat: A huge top hat that somehow works.
  • Token Good Teammate: For the ghosts' side since he doesn't insult Scrooge.
  • Uncle Pennybags: Considerably more friendly and cheery than Trump or Scrooge. They've even got the same mustache.

Kanye West, The Ghost Of What's Right Now

Played by: DeStorm Powers

  • A Wild Rapper Appears: A unique example to this series in that he is the first character who is known for rapping to appear in the series (not counting the Epic Peter vs. Nice Lloyd battle, where they obviously play as themselves).
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: If you are in the crowd who sees the real Kanye West as an Insufferable Genius, then he falls into this category in this battle, due to calling Scrooge out on his selfishness and suggesting he share his money with the homeless.
  • The Power of Friendship: He states that there is more to life than money and that Scrooge should have asked for friends.
  • Scary Black Man: Scary enough to finally make Scrooge take his hauntings seriously.

Death, The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Brutal Honesty: He doesn't mince words when telling Scrooge about what's to come.
  • Dem Bones: He looks like a living skeleton.
  • Don't Fear the Reaper: Downplayed. While he looks scary and talks about Scrooge's imminent death, he comes across as more 'punisher of the wicked' than 'evil spirit'. If Scrooge weren't a selfish man, they wouldn't be having this conversation.
  • The Grim Reaper: A ghoul in a Black Cloak that tells Scrooge of his impending death.
  • Jump Scare: He gives one to Scrooge.
  • Knight of Cerebus: He has no humourous quirks and serves as the figure that ultimately puts Scrooge on the right path. he introduces himself by appearing behind Scrooge and saying "boo" but that's as funny as he got.
  • Large Ham: For lacking lungs, he has a big presence.
  • Nightmare Fuel: In-universe to Scrooge.
  • Sickly Green Glow: His background is a swirling green miasma.
  • Suddenly Voiced: In contrast to his usual portrayal as The Voiceless, he's a Guttural Growler too. It's quite intimidating.

Walter White

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Badass Baritone: Of the Guttural Growler type.
  • Badass Beard: His goatee compliments well with his shaved head.
  • Badass Boast:
    "I don't know what you think I've done, but if we were to battle, I've already won: ask Gus!"
  • Badass Pacifist: He's a Downplayed case. He deals with a zombie by distracting it with some crystal meth but he also threatens to kill Rick three times, twice in his first verse. First he threatens to stuff him in a barrel until he liquefies. Then he threatens to run him over. Lastly he makes the more vague threat to "bury" him.
  • Bald of Evil: He's bald, and a high-class drug lord.
  • Car Fu: Threatens to run over Rick with his Aztec.
  • Comedic Underwear Exposure: Averted by his mighty Tighty Walter Whities!
  • Consummate Liar: According to Rick, who says he lies all the time.
  • Evil Genius: A world-class, super-intelligent chemist turned drug lord. As Rick says, he misuses his own intellect for criminal purposes.
  • Guile Hero: Always "Hatching little schemes like a dying MacGyver", according to Rick.
  • Guttural Growler: He has a deep raspy voice throughout his raps.
  • Improbable Weapon User: Defends himself from a zombie with his trademark Blue Sky, threatens to kill Rick by liquefying him in a barrel and mowing him down with his car.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: He's a bit of an asshole about it, but his comments on Rick's leadership skills aren't far off the mark.
  • Kubrick Stare: He dolls out a fierce stare in his first verse.
  • Nerves of Steel: When a zombie lunges at him, he barely flinches and instead taunts it...with drugs.
  • Nice Hat: Puts on his trademark pork pie hat at the start of his verse.

Rick Grimes

Played by: Peter Shukoff


  • Adaptation Dye-Job: Goku's first hairstyle is black (as it is in any other medium), but its shape is the same as his hair when he turns Super Saiyan (which is blonde). So technically, his hair manages to avert this and play it straight over the course of the battle.
  • Badass Boast: "There's only one way this battle's gonna end: One more Superman who's never gonna walk again!"
  • Battle Aura: For all of the battle.
  • Glowing Eyes of Doom: His eyes turn a noticeably glowing blue when he goes Super Saiyan. There are two shots during the battle that focus on them and they're rather creepy.
  • Incoming Ham: His first two lines, which he screams at the top of his lungs.
  • Large Ham: He shouts all of his lines.
  • No Sell: Superman attempts to hit him with heat vision right as Goku goes Super Saiyan and only causes Clothing Damage. Goku even calls him on it.
    "Defeat me with heat beams? You're crazy."
  • Precision F-Strike: "YOUR POWERS HAVE BEEN BORING SINCE THE NINETEEN-FUCKING-FORTIES!" It's the only time either character uses an obscenity in said battle.
  • Race Lift: Technically averted. Goku has the physical traits of an Asian persion, and he's played by a part-Asian actor (Indian, to be specific), but said actor is Ambiguously Brown. However, given that Goku is an alien, race isn't crucial to the character's appearance.
  • Screaming Warrior: Superman hangs a lampshade on it.
    "Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes. Just one punch and over nine thousand screams!"
  • Super Mode: He goes Super Saiyan almost right after his first verse begins.
  • Teeny Weenie: Superman thinks he wears "hammer pants" to hide his tiny genitals.
  • Unstoppable Rage: Just like when he fought Frieza, he's furious from the start of his verse. Superman's first verse must have truly pissed him off.


Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Badass Baritone: Has the typical superhero voice going on.
  • Berserk Button: Downplayed. He smiles through the entire battle against Goku and only frowns when the Saiyan brings up that he lost to Batman, and only then does Superman turn around to engage Goku in Air Jousting.
  • Catch Phrase: A variant on "This looks like a job for Superman!" appears in the battle.
  • Eye Beams: He uses them in an (unsuccessful) attempt to stop Goku reaching Super Saiyan.
  • Insufferable Genius: He insults the Saiyans as being intellectually primitive while alluding to the super-intelligence common to Kryptonians.
  • Kryptonite Factor: Goku states "There's nothing fun about a superhero scared of Green Rocks."
  • Panty Fighter: Goku mocks his superhero outfit as such, and says that he can see Superman's camel toe.
  • Pungeon Master: Both his verses are riddled with DBZ references, puns, and in-jokes. From telling Goku he'd make his nose bleed like Roshi sniffing panties, to sneaking in a Title Drop while pointing at his crotch when he tells Goku:
    Superman: (imitating DBZ narrator) "From Z to GT, you can DRAGON BALL DEEZ!"
  • Retcon: Goku laments his series' constant use of these.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: He flies into the sky at the end of his second verse more than likely figuring he'd won. Goku chases him.
  • Shout-Out: In his second verse, he alludes to Vegeta's "It's OVER 9,000!!" scene by doing a dead-on Vegeta impersonation; complete with pretending to crush an imaginary scouter.
    Superman: (smug laugh) "Haha! Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes. Just one punch -"
    Superman: (imitating Vegeta) "-and OVER 9,000 SCREAMS!!"
  • Smug Super: He seems to be channeling Super Dickery Superman. The guy even stops to pose for a quick photograph mid-battle and just check the smirk on his face during both verses. Especially the part where he mentions what he'd do to Goku's wife, Chichi!
  • Transformation Sequence: He changes from his Clark Kent disguise before the rap battle even starts.

Stephen King

Played by: Zach Sherwin

  • Always Someone Better: He claims he'll always have more fame, money, talent and success than Poe could hope to achieve.
  • Attention Deficit Creator Disorder: invoked Boasts about just how quickly he can pump out best-selling books.
  • Boring Insult: He yawns during Poe's first verse and several of his own lines are about how Poe's work isn't scary.
  • Deadpan Snarker: His rants against Poe drip with sarcasm.
  • Everyone Has Standards: A grown man perving on their thirteen year old cousin is too disturbing for him.
  • Hypocrite: Slams Poe for his opium addiction and alcoholism despite having the exact same problems himself.
  • Nerd: It's the nasally voice and giant glasses that give off this impression.
  • Nonchalant Dodge: Simply leans back to avoid Poe's flurry of bats.
  • Pungeon Master: Much of his first verse plays on the titles of his novels for several lines straight.
  • Smug Smiler: He has a smug smile throughout the battle.
  • Throw the Book at Them: He's got a lot of "big thick books" that he'd love to smack Poe with.
  • Workaholic: Self-admitted and with an additional "fiction addiction!"

Edgar Allan Poe

Played by: George Watsky

  • Added Alliterative Appeal: "Your flow's so-so, Poe's poems pwn posers!"
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Had a very unhappy history. Claims experience makes his work superior to King's.
  • Can't Catch Up: Points out that no matter how popular King's books are they'll never come close to Poe's own groundbreaking work ("You'll never be near me!"). He's the Horror Lord after all.
  • Emo: King lampoons him as being one.
    King: You wanna talk shop, you gothed-out fop? Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top.
  • Kissing Cousins/Lolicon: King notes that he married his 13 year old cousin at the age of 27.
  • Motor Mouth: During his second verse his speed greatly increases.
  • Pretender Diss: Points out that while King wrote about families torn apart and crippling tragedies, often as allegories for his struggles with alcohol, Poe's life was far more troubled and tragic.
  • Red Baron: Calls himself "The Horror Lord".
  • Slasher Smile: He does one during his first verse, and it's both creepy and hilarious at the same time.

Sir Isaac Newton

  • The Ace: Not even Nye can resist slipping in references to his many achievements.
  • Badass Boast: Newton delivers two, to Nye. One in each verse:
    Sir Isaac Newton: (verse one) "You're no match for me, you got a Bach degree. I've got a unit of force named after me!"
    Sir Isaac Newton: (verse two) "I accelerated the mind of mankind to a higher plain of understanding and, I can calculate the weight, or the size and the shape of the shadow of the mind YOU'RE STANDING IN!!"
  • Broken Ace: Nye points out that while he was an accomplished scientist, he never married, had only a few friends, and overall a lousy personal life.
  • Celibate Eccentric Genius: Mocked by Bill Nye.
    You wrote a book on gravity, but you couldn't attract no body!
  • Eye Scream: He once pushed a needle around his eyeball to prod at its back side as part of an experiment to research how color is perceived, which Nye indirectly references.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: May have died of mercury poisoning he brought upon himself.
  • Jaded Wash Out: Accussed by Nye of being one. While he's "hitting his stride" he asks what Newton did with the back half of his life.
  • Loners Are Freaks: Nye's verses rip on how he never married and had few friends.
  • Motor Mouth: Not to Watsky levels, but his last line is still impressive.
    Newton: The integral sec y d y from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square-root of three times the sixty-fourth power of what?
  • Special Guest: "Weird Al" Yankovic

Bill Nye

Played by: Peter Shukoff
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: One of the interpretations: he uses Newton's achievements to take shots at his personal life. Then again, see Nice Guy.
  • Bowties Are Cool: Wouldn't be Bill Nye without wearing one!
  • Butt Monkey: It's no secret he's a bit outclassed, even though he had some good lines. Even his own teammate is somewhat condescending towards him.
    Tyson: Why don't you pick on a brain your own size?
  • Nice Guy: The other interpretation: after all, he spends half of his verse praising his opponent. Though see Bitch in Sheep's Clothing.
  • Old Shame: invoked Newton thinks he's a joke because he was on a silly children show and Nye insists that he's doing other stuff now.
  • The Power of Friendship: Seems to be a running theme with him and Tyson. Tyson jumps in to help him out and both target Newton's lack of friends and his mistreatment of the few he had. Plus, Carl Sagan, Tyson's mentor, cameos during Nye's segments.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Played by: Chali 2na
  • Ascended Meme: "We got a badass over here!"
  • Badass Baritone: His voice is INCREDIBLY deep.
    • In the Behind the Scenes, Peter said he based his voices for Darth Vader and Santa Claus and any time he does a deep voice is him "trying to channel the spirit of Chali 2na".
  • Big Damn Heroes: Intervenes when Nye seems a bit too intimidated by Newton's Motor Mouth.
  • Black and Nerdy: A self-proclaimed Astrophysics Black Guy.
  • Irony: His famous "we've got a badass over here" statement originates from a video where Tyson talks about Isaac Newton's involvement with calculus; here, he's rapping against that same guy.
  • Soul Brotha: He puts the "swag" back in science.
  • Special Guest: Chali 2na ladies and gents!

George Washington

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Ascended Extra: In Season 1, he was a cameo in "Ben Franklin vs Billy Mays". In this season, he's got his own rap battle against William Wallace.
  • Authority Equals Ass Kicking: The very first President of the United States. If that's not enough, he was also general of the Continental Army.
  • Ax-Crazy: Seems to relish the thought of cutting Scottish throats a bit too much.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Makes no bones about his willingness to attack a man while he's sleeping.
  • Cultural Posturing: Points out that his country's known for being a superpower, while Wallace's is known for golf and haggis.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: He first appeared in Ben Franklin's battle.
  • Four Star Bad Ass: General of the Continental Army
  • General Failure: Wallace says he's a horrible tactician and this is why the British Army didn't want him.
  • Groin Attack: Threatens to give a knee to Wallace's "Moose Knuckle". Wallace even covers up his groin in response to the threat.
  • Hypocrite: Wallace likes to bring up the fact that he owned slaves.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The snob to Wallace's slob, "powered prick" in a "little blousy outfit" and such, though he's pretty rough-and-tumble himself.

William Wallace

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Anachronism Stew: Appears with his face painted in woad like he was a Pict or something.
  • BFS: Like in the movie!
  • Bilingual Bonus: He shouts "Scotland forever!" in Gaellic at one point.
  • Blatant Lies: Insulting Washington's tactical ability. Wallace had a losing record on the battlefield while Washington was largely successful.
  • Brave Scot: But of course! "That's the Highland Way."
  • Cool Sword: His claymore.
  • Denzel Washington: The only man named "Washington" that he trusts.
  • Everything's Louder With Bagpipes: Naturally, these are heard in the background when Wallace is rapping.
  • Hypocrite:
    • Wallace mocks Washington's slave ownership twice, but slavery (just not always African) was both practiced and legal in Scotland before and while Wallace lived and for over 300 years after he died.
    • Wallace criticizes Washington for being a "Founding Father but no children." He didn't have any either.
  • Insult Backfire: Washington comments on his hanging, drawing and quartering, but he says he could still rap circles around Washington even if he was.
  • Man in a Kilt: A Dummied Out scene that only appeared on a Youtube commercial that aired in theaters showed Wallace lifting up his kilt and flashing George Washington, showing that he's wearing nothing underneath.
  • Rasputinian Death: Both himself and Washington mentions how he's hanged, drawn and quartered, and castrated.
  • Screaming Warrior: Louder and more violent than Washington.
  • The Southpaw: He wields the sword with his left-hand.
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The slob to Washington's snob, what with the facepaint, the vulgar language, etc.
  • Violent Glaswegian: He really wants a piece of George Washington.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Towards George Washington being a slave owner. Specifically blasting him for wearing fancy clothes made with slave labor.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Voiced by: Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist
Suit Actors: Lloyd Ahlquist and Xin Wuku

  • Bratty Half-Pint: Donatello di Bardi dismisses them as this, saying they're "too immature" to know about the works of their opponents.
  • Kubrick Stare: The Turtles pull off one hell of a Death Glare as they start their verse.
  • Let's Get Dangerous:
    "The wisdom of our master (SPLINTER!) - Taught us not to rush to violence - But our master (MASTER SPLINTER!) - AIN'T HERE, DUDE!"
  • Martial Pacifist: Their master (SPLINTER!) taught them not to rush to violence and also taught them to use their weapons.
  • Mythology Gag: When Michaelangelo says "Ain't here Dudes!" we see the other turtles behind him, all of them with red bandanas. The original TMNT mirage comic had all the turtles sporting identical red bandanas.
  • Named After Someone Famous: The four artists they're rapping against.
  • Nintendo Hard: Their first NES game, which Michaelangelo di Simoni references.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: All the turtles make references to the accomplishments of their artist counterparts: Donatello claims to not know a lot about the Artists while referencing Donatello di Bardi's sculpture of Gattamelata, Leo mentions Leonardo's helicopter, Mike uses the word "Sistine" which is a reference to Michelangelo painting the Sistine chapel, and Raph says he'll put the artist back in school, a reference to Raphael's fresco "The School of Athens".
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: The Turtles live in a sewer and become intelligent after coming into contact with radioactive ooze, while the Artists brushed shoulders with the Italian upper class.
  • Weapon of Choice: Every Turtle except Donatello makes reference to their weapon.

Leonardo da Vinci

Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino

Played by: Anthony Padilla

Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni

Played by: Ian Hecox

Donatello di Niccolò di Betto Bardi

Played by: Rhett McLaughlin

     Season 4 


Played by: Mark Douglas (Ray Stantz), Chris Gorbos (Peter Venkman), Zach Sherwin (Egon Spengler), Walt D. (Winston Zeddamore), Brooke "Dodger" Lawson (Janine Melnitz),
  • Berserk Button: After Grant comments on Ray getting his cherry popped by a ghost, a brief cut shows that Egon and Venkman are holding Ray back from doing something rash.
  • Boring Insult: Their first line is to accuse the Mythbusters of making crashes and explosions boring.
  • The Cameo: Dodger makes a brief appearance as their secretary, Janine Melnitz to say, "We got one!"
  • Creepy Monotone: Egon speaks in a emotionless tone during the first verse.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: In the Season 4 trailer, they deliver this to Hitler's ghost.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Again, Egon snarks at the Mythbusters with a straight face.
  • Goggles Do Nothing: Stantz wears goggles on his forehead during their second verse.
  • Meganekko: Janine Melnitz looks good with glasses. Egon could also qualify.
  • No OSHA Compliance: Adam and Jamie mock their containment grid's lack of safety precautions, claiming that Walter Peck was right to be suspicious of them.
  • Oh, Crap: All four have a visible one when the conversation between Adam and Tory references how Ray inadvertently summoned Stay-Puft in their movie. They have another one when the big guy shows up.
  • Pungeon Master: Downplayed; Egon lets two out in one line based on their opponents' names: "I'll kick your hiney man, I'm a savage killer".
  • Science Hero: Ray, Peter, and Egon all have doctorates in various fields, which they now use to bust ghosts.
  • Smoking Is Cool: Zeddemore is smoking a cigarette in one shot.
  • The Smurfette Principle: As if to balance out Kari, Janine Melnitz is the lone female on the Ghostbusters' side and evens out their numbers!
  • Token Minority: Winston is the lone black person on the Ghostbusters' side.


Played by: Peter Shukoff (Jamie Hyneman), Lloyd Ahlquist (Adam Savage), Mary Doodles (Kari Byron), Chris Alvarado (Tori Belleci), Terry Im a.k.a. KRNFX (Grant Imahara)
  • Agent Scully: Jamie dismisses all the the Ghostbuster's accomplishments with a bored "Ghosts aren't real." Cue Stay Puft....
  • Back from the Dead: The B-Team, even though they technically aren't dead, are treated this way, presumably because they had left the show.
  • Back-to-Back Badasses: Jamie and Adam strike this pose while busting the science of the positron packs.
  • Badass Baritone: Jamie has an impressive sounding deep voice that works with his emotionless tone.
  • Badass Moustache: Jamie's mustache has been compared to a walrus, and both of theirs were compared to that of the Lorax.
  • Butt Monkey: Tory, as usual. He outright fails to come up with a line, and it's vaguely implied that he inadvertently summoned Stay-Puft.
  • In-Series Nickname: 'The Walrus' for Jamie and 'Dickless the Clown' for Adam, invoked by Ray.
  • I Take Offense to That Last One: Jamie, when Stay Puft Marshmallow Man claims his beret is better than his.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Jamie and Adam point out that Walter Peck was justified for being a dick to them.
  • Nerves of Steel: Jaime isn't even fazed by the arrival of Stay-Puft, unlike everyone else. At one point he even looks away from him as if bored.
  • Nice Hat: Jamie's black beret of course.
  • No Sense of Personal Space: Adam. In the introductions, he puts his arm around Jamie, who just looks at his arm in mild annoyance. You can also see Adam patting Jamie on the shoulder during their dances in the background.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Like in their original show, Adam is red while Jamie is blue. From the season four trailer:
    Jamie: (calmly) Fascinating.
    Adam: (excitedly) This is gonna be great!
  • The Smurfette Principle: Kari is the only female in the Mythbusters' team.
  • The Stoic: Jamie never raises his baritone voice.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: At the end of their first verse, Jamie and Adam pull out a detonator and blow up their set. Why? It's what they do. Adam once claimed that "one explosion per episode" is in his contract, and this is an episode. Thus, explosion.
  • Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: Tory fails to come up with an appropriate rhyme, and stops silent. The rhyme continues in the conversation between him and Adam afterward. Based on "flow" and "own" and what happens, the most likely word Tory thought of is "marshmellow".
  • Token Minority: To balance out Winston, Grant Imahara is the lone Asian.

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

Played by: Taylor Cu (actor), Lloyd Ahlquist (lyrics)
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Levels up to the tower the other opponents were standing on.
  • Badass: The big guy may not look it, but he is not to be taken lightly.
  • Badass Adorable: Despite his size, he looks friendly and fluffy, but still lays a verbal smackdown on both sides and, according to many of the comments on YouTube, he stole the show.
  • Badass Baritone: As expected of a creature his size and girth; not that it slows him down any (see Dance Battler).
  • Badass Boast: Stay Puft's entire verse is a nonstop diss to both sides, while letting them know why they don't want none:
    Stay Puft: "Yo raise up, it's Stay Puft. I stay fluff. I blaze chumps and flip Kari butterside up!"
    "I smother Ghostbusters in fluffernutter. I don't play! Show these dweebs how to rock a beret!"
    "I live so large, you can't harsh my mellow. Just one step took me out the ghetto."
    "You best be afraid of my marshmallow flows, 'cuz Big Puft just turned ALL YOU BITCHES TO TOOO~OOAST!"
  • Beware the Silly Ones: He looks ridiculous and it's rather silly to see him rap, but that doesn't make him any less threatening.
  • Dance Battler: Midway into his verse, Stay Puft starts jamming in perfect sync with battle track, while maintaining his flow.
  • Double Entendre: He sneaks two of 'em in, back-to-back:
    • First, he says he'd flip Kari butterside up. As in, with her butt facing up (i.e. doggy-style). This is a reference to a line from Kari when the Mythbusters were testing the idiom of toast landing butter-side down.
    • While his line about smothering the Ghostbusters in "fluffernutter" is a Shout-Out to the final scene in the first film, where everyone is covered in Stay Puft's goo.
  • The Dreaded: Tory screws up his part of the B-Team's verse by forgetting his line, so Adam tells him to just think of something. You then see the Ghostbusters trying to warn him not to, by quickly shaking their heads "no", since that was what caused Ray to think of Mr. Stay Puft in the first movie. Sure enough...
  • Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: While he's an iconic part of the Ghostbusters series, The Mythbusters weren't expecting to see a 50 ft. marshmallow man enter the battle.
  • I Showed Her What A Real Man Is: In his second line, he says he'd flip Kari "butterside up". She catches it and promptly shouts, "HEY!"
  • Nice Hat: He claims his white beret is better than Jamie's.
  • Perpetual Smiler: Due to costume limitations, he smiles throughout his appearance unlike his film incarnation.

Bonnie & Clyde

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist (Clyde), Hannah Hart (Bonnie)
  • American Accents: Bonnie has a Southern accent, while Clyde has a Texan accent.
  • Antagonist in Mourning: They're stunned by Romeo and Juliet choosing to kill themselves in order to be together. Clyde looks wryly and plainly states, "Well that was tragic".
  • Book Dumb: Blink and you'll miss it, but when Romeo and Juliet start throwing out highbrow language the camera briefly cuts to Bonnie and Clyde, as they exchange confused looks.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Seen near the end of Juliet's second verse, when Bonnie draws her pistol and shoots her.
  • Didn't See That Coming: Neither of them expected Romeo and Juliet would kill themselves.
  • Doomed by Canon: If you're familiar with history, you'll already know how it ends for them.
  • Evil Feels Good: When Bonnie shoots Juliet during the latter's second verse, she and Clyde grin at each other and laugh about it, as if to say: "good one".
  • Motor Mouth: Both of them can rap fairly quickly at the end of their first verse.
  • Killed Mid-Sentence: They're both shot to death just when finishing their last verse.
  • Nice Hat: Clyde's gangster hat and Bonnie's beret, as they are portrayed wearing.
  • Not So Different: To Romeo and Juliet; both couples start their verses with the man offering to finish their opponents themselves and the woman saying they'll handle it together, then in each second verse they defend their partners from insults (Clyde telling off Juliet for badmouthing Bonnie, and Juliet insulting Bonnie for questioning Romeo). Oh, and all four of them die at the end of the battle.
  • Outlaw Couple: They're both outlaws in love who also bring their weapons to the rap battle.
  • The Pig Pen: Romeo claims that the only insult they had on them in their first verse was their stench.

Romeo and Juliet

Played by: Peter Shukoff (Romeo), Grace Helbig (Juliet)
  • Driven to Suicide: Both commit suicide in the end. When Bonnie shoots Juliet, she falls down to her death. Though that bullet didn't kill her, and Romeo drinks poison, only for Juliet to get back up, and realizing her love is dead, she stabs herself.
  • Disney Death: Bonnie shoots Juliet in the gut, but she stands up moments later. "My flesh was merely grazed."
  • Dying Moment of Awesome: When Juliet believes she's dying from a gut-shot she gets out one scathing burn about being killed by a failed actress, and Romeo makes a point to kill himself lying on his stomach so Bonnie and Clyde will have a chance to kiss his ass.
  • Failure Knight: Bonnie says that Romeo will fail to protect his girlfriend because he already failed his best friend.
  • Minor Injury Overreaction: Romeo is quick to assume Juliet is dead, when Bonnie shoots her, and kills himself out of grief so he can join her. Only for Juliet to recover mere seconds later and state that the shot had only grazed her. Clyde lampshades it near the end of the battle:
  • Not So Different: From Bonnie and Clyde. See their entry for details.
  • Prison Rape: Juliet takes a dig at Bonnie by implying her beau's had his ass ripped while he was behind bars.
  • The Queen's Latin: Romeo and Juliet speak with English accents, despite being Italians.
  • Silk Hiding Steel: Juliet is unexpectedly nasty for a girl who looks like a Disney Princess.
    Juliet: And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken,
    Juliet: you'll get an ass-ripping worse than your boyfriend's in prison!
  • Slobs Versus Snobs: Romeo and Juliet are two Shakespearean lovebirds going up against the rough and tough criminal couple, Bonnie and Clyde.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: They use some profanity in addition to their Shakespearean language.
    • This is a mild Viewers Are Geniuses as well. The original play by Shakespeare translated into current English would be utterly filthy.
  • Suddenly Shouting:
    Juliet: Where's Romeo? OH NO-MEO!!
  • Together in Death: If you've read the story, you'll already know what's coming.
  • Younger Than They Look: Juliet looks like a young adult, naturally. However, Bonnie calls Juliet a prepubescent vixen; in the play, Juliet was only 13, as evidenced by several lines that say she hadn't "seen the change of 14 years", making her the second-youngest character in a rap battle thus far ( the youngest if we don't count Michael Jackson's first verse).


Voiced by: Peter Shukoff


Voiced by: Lloyd Ahlquist
  • Amazon Brigade: A brief mention to the "women in his homeland", who are displayed as a regiment of armor-clad female warriors.
  • Badass Beard: A short, manly red one in contrast with Zeus' white Wizard Beard.
  • Bold Explorer: Brags about the Norse exploration of the Americas as part of his retort against Zeus's Proud Scholar Race Guy boast.
  • The Conqueror: Prides himself on Scandinavia's legacy of conquest.
  • Crossdresser: Zeus threatens to "put his crossdressing neck in a noose".
  • Drop the Hammer: His trusty bludgeon Mjolnir.
  • Fiery Redhead: A hard-boiled, redheaded Viking badass, in line with his depiction in Norse mythology, apart from a moment as Chris Hemsworth with Natalie Portman.
  • Horny Vikings: The crew upon his ship are wearing horned helmets. Thor himself gets a winged helmet, much closer to his Marvel depiction than you'd believe. Loki, meanwhile, is in his Marvel costume complete with the tall horns.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While acknowledging his literal dog kicking he admits that he didn't treat his people like playthings or torment them mindlessly the way Zeus did. Indeed, he spends much of his verse praising them.
  • Kick the Dog: Literally punts a dog off his ship, much to the sadness of the Viking who owned it.
  • No Sell: Shrugs off the rainstorm Zeus summons like it's nothing.
  • Nonstandard Character Design: As with Zeus and everyone else in their episode, he is depicted in the form of a Lego minifigure instead of in live action.
  • Proud Warrior Race: He says the Vikings are conquerors and not so easily frightened as the Greeks.
  • Pungeon Master: His first verse just pumps these out one after the other.
  • Shock and Awe: Like Zeus, Thor has the powers of lightning.
  • Viking Funeral: Zeus says in his last verse that Thor is going to need to prep for his own.

Jack the Ripper

Played by: Dan Bull
  • Appropriated Appelation: "Jack the Ripper" is how the mass media dubbed him, and here he adopts it for himself.
  • Attention Whore: Hannibal accuses him of this; both in Jack's murders and referring to himself by his press-given nickname.
  • Badass Boast: He spends his whole first verse talking about himself.
  • Breaking Speech: Retaliates to Hannibal's with one of his own in his second verse that visibly, if subtly, pisses Hannibal off. Hannibal compliments him on it, then slams him for ruining it with his last rhyme.
  • British Accents: Cockney. In this, he averts the usual trope attached to his accent, thanks to his being absolutely vile.
  • British Teeth: Jack has molars as messed-up as his morals. Somewhat of a double example, as those are Dan Bull's natural teeth.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: He's nothing but proud of his hideous crimes.
  • Evil Brit: The first Brit to be played by a real British person, and he's their most infamous serial killer, with British Teeth, no less!
  • Eviler Than Thou: He says he's worse than the 7/7 bombers because of his reign of terror. In fact, most of his second verse involves him belittling Lecter for being fictional and thus causing no real harm, as opposed to Jack himself who not only committed real brutal murders but also got away with them scot-free.
  • Exorcist Head: At one point, his head rotates so fast, it looks as if Pazuzu possessed him after inhaling a mountain of coke.
  • Fangs Are Evil: It looks like he's got fangs among his British Teeth. Appropriate for a possibly cannibalistic predator.
  • For the Evulz: Gleefully brags about all the suffering and pain his murders caused.
  • Hot-Blooded Sideburns: Sports colossal 19th Century sideburns along with his large and boastful raps.
  • Horrorcore: References the genre in one of his lines. His battle feels like a Halloween Episode that came a month too late.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Hints that he might eat his victims, as the real Jack may or may not have done.
  • Informed Flaw: Despite all the lines about Jack being filthy, his suit and hat look pretty neat.
  • It's All About Me: Spends more time bragging about his own crimes than he does insulting Lecter, to the point where he's almost an Ignored Enemy.
  • Jerkass: He brags about his atrocities, showing no shame for his crimes, and he's also as arrogant as he is sadistic and gleeful that he's gotten away for good.
  • Karma Houdini: He was never arrested, and his true identity remains a mystery, which he happily brags about.
  • Lower-Class Lout: Hannibal presents him as a filthy, tasteless boor.
  • Monster Misogyny: Infamous for murdering prostitutes, who he regards as "common whores".
  • Narcissist: See Badass Boast. Hannibal diagnoses him with megalomania.
  • Nice Hat: His top hat is the only thing that's nice about him.
  • The Pig Pen: Hannibal claims he's covered in more piss than kitty litter.
  • Ripped from the Headlines: His reference to the 7/7 London Bombing incident in which Hannibal quickly called him out on that.
  • Sadist: Gloats about leaving behind grieving families and hard-to-clean bloodstains.
  • Slasher Smile: Gives a particularly unnerving one in the title sequence before the rap starts.
  • We're Still Relevant, Dammit: In-Universe, Hannibal accuses him of this behavior. Given that Jack's lines are filled with mentions of Twitter and the 7/7 bombers, he may have a point.

Hannibal Lecter

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist
  • Berserk Button: The only time he seems genuinely angry with Jack is when he's reminded that he's fictional, where he takes a deep breath and seems quietly enraged.
  • Breaking Speech: Specializes in this. He spends some of his verses dissecting Jack's self-absorbed behavior.
  • Boring Insult: He doesn't take Jack seriously, instead considering him something of a poser. He decides to go back to solitary confinement because "The Ripper" is not worth his time.
  • Cool Mask: His muzzle is well known in the Hannibal movies, and it's worn during Jack's first verse.
  • Deadpan Snarker: His opening remarks towards how Jack spent his first verse talking about himself and his reactions to the 7/7 bombers line.
    Hannibal: No, no, Jack, you were doing fine, until your ham-fisted attempt at a terrorist line.
  • Do Wrong, Right: He remarks, I don't mind that you're naughty, I hate that you're sloppy.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: He considers the 7/7 London bombing references to be in bad taste.
  • Groin Attack: Happily admits that he'd roast Jack's balls on his hibachi, which makes Jack take a quick look down.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: States his desire to eat Jack, though he also says he would make a foul meal.
  • Kubrick Stare: Gives Jack one at the start of his verse.
  • Too Spicy for Yog Sothoth: Hannibal remarks he would rather not eat Jack, as he is most likely dirty and unsanitary. The thought of eating him disgusts Lecter.
  • Tranquil Fury: As shown in Berserk Button above, he keeps a straight face for most of the time, and when he's angry, he approaches it in a subdued manner, although not to the same extent as in the novels and films.
  • Wicked Cultured: Talks a lot about his more "refined" way of going about his work, including his love for classical music (when accompanied by the scream of his dying victims) and how his knowledge of psychiatry helps him manipulate people.

Oprah Winfrey

Played by: November Christine
  • Adaptational Curves: November is more svelte than the real life Oprah.
  • Appeal to Wealth: "Check the Fortune 500; I'm a media wonder!"
  • Ascended Extra: Not Oprah herself, but November previously played one of the extras in Martin Luther King, Jr. vs. Gandhi.
  • Ass Shove: Threatens to shove her shoe up Ellen's suitpants.
  • Auto-Tune: Only briefly (her husband uses it too), but it's the first time anyone's had it since Stephen Hawking back in Season 1.
  • Berserk Button: Does not take kindly to Ellen suggesting her reign as the queen of daytime television is over.
  • Contralto of Danger: A powerful voice for one of the most powerful women in the world.
  • The High Queen: She claims to be the Queen of TV and Ellen wants to take her crown.
  • Henpecked Husband: Ellen claims she's going to whip Oprah more than Oprah has Stedman.
  • Kicking Ass in All Her Finery: Busts rhymes in a elegant sequined dress in comparison to Ellen's more modest suit.

Ellen DeGeneres

Played by: Lauren Flans
  • Actually Pretty Funny: Her reaction to Oprah's first two lines in her second verse implies she found it funny, meaning either this trope or thinking it's "so bad it's funny" (naturally depends on your perspective).
  • Ax-Crazy: Downplayed.
    • In several of her scenes, her eyes are a bit wider than they should be, and she declares that she wants to chop Oprah up "into a million little pieces".
    • Dr. Phil shows up and says she should just be left alone. Ellen laughs at him and pushes him out of the way to continue.
  • Badass Gay: Her being a lesbian doesn't stop her from dropping sick rhymes. Instead, she uses it as part of her attack.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: You wouldn't expect a squeaky-voiced white woman who raps about puppies and kittens to put up much of a fight, but Ellen's more of a scrapper than she lets on.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: When you start a rap battle by pretending to talk to God on an imaginary cell phone, this is the impression.
  • Follow the Leader: Oprah claims she paved the road for Ellen.
  • Fun Personified: Gleefully dances around in a silly manner and remains cheerful even when Oprah is insulting her. She spends much of her second verse talking about how she likes to "make everybody feel good for a while".
  • The Gadfly: Brings up several embarrassing moments from Oprah's Career including Tom Cruise jumping on the couch, the "A Million Little Pieces" scandal, and guests having to pay taxes on their "free" cars. By the end of her second verse she appears to gotten under Oprah's skin.
  • Genki Girl: Her dances can get quite goofy and she's always cheerful and energetic. Her voice is also significantly higher than her real-life counterpart.
  • Insult Backfire: Oprah disparages her kittens, and not only does Ellen roll with it, she includes "puppies, talented children, and mittens."
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: Features kittens on her show and likes to make people smile.
  • Perpetual Smiler: During her verses, she's constantly smiling; for maybe all of three shots, she isn't, but it's clear she's holding one back. The only time she isn't is during Oprah's first verse.
  • Straight Gay: She has to mention her sexuality in the first verse; if she didn't, people who aren't familiar with her would likely have no clue. She also mentions the LGBT in her second verse, but that's blink-and-you-miss-it.
  • The Usurper: She's claims that she's going to knock Oprah "off her throne" and take her place as the queen of daytime TV.

Steven Spielberg

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Badass Boast: His first four lines are this in the spirit of a movie pitch:
    Picture a child sitting next to a projector,
    Learning from your films to become a much better director.
    Now picture a three-billion-dollar dream machine,
    Who can blockbust all over your crop duster scene!
  • Butt Monkey: Not in the same vein as Michael Bay, but he gets it a lot. In fact, every time the other directors insult Bay they also insult Spielberg... by comparing his work to Bay's.
  • Fiction 500: A three-billion dollar dream machine. Of course, the real Spielberg is worth that much as well.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: That's the gist behind his Badass Boast, pointing out how he went from a simple child to Hitchock's (supposed) superior.
  • Mooning: He emphasizes his line of "Now kiss my full moon and just bask in my greatness!" by turning around and mooning Hitchcock in a Shadow Discretion Shot.
  • Nice Hat: He wears a black baseball cap with USS CALIFORNIA 26-RED on it.
  • Pungeon Master: In a similar manner to Stephen King, he fits nine titles of his and Hitchcock's movies in his verse.
  • Sell Out: According to Tarantino, his adaptation of The War of the Worlds makes him one, because it was the same sort of crap that Michael Bay would do.
  • Signature Shot: Starts the battle with his famous track-in camera move.
  • Specs of Awesome: He's an A-Grade film director, and the only one in the battle who wears glasses.
  • Summer Blockbuster: References the fact that he created them with his fourth line.
  • Surpassed the Teacher: According to Steve, he began his career taking inspiration from Hitchcock, but now he's far surpassed him.
  • Token Good Teammate: Everyone else is moneygrubbing, sweary, egotistical and abusive - not Steven. Steven starts his verse by praising Alfred. The mooning of Alfred was apparently provoked.
  • Yiddish as a Second Language: Refers to Michael Bay as a "schlep".

Alfred Hitchcock

Played by: Lloyd Ahlquist

  • Acrofatic: At one point in his rap he breakdances.
  • Badass in a Nice Suit: "No defense against Hitchcook when he presents" in his classic black suit.
  • Badass Boast:
    I'm the master, of suspense, so intense, No defense against Hitchcock once he presents!
  • Fat Bastard: Spielberg and Tarantino both make fun of him being fat and not being able to fight in World War One for the British Army because of his obesity, respectively.
  • Insufferable Genius: He has quite the ego stemming from his brilliance in directing.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: Brags about being able to "squeeze screams from chocolate syrup."
  • Pet the Dog: The only rapper to not insult Michael Bay or his movies directly, instead deriding Megan Fox's acting.
  • Red Baron: "The Master of Suspense", which is his real life nickname in the industry.
  • Scare Chord: They appear in his verse to aid his suspense.
  • The Stoic: Nothing any of the other rappers says bothers him in the least.
  • Worthy Opponent: When Kubrick declares himself a genius, Hitchcock nods in approval, indicating that he sees him as this.

Quentin Tarantino

Played by: WAX

  • Badass in a Nice Suit: The genius film director and "bad Mo Fo" is wearing his trademark brown suit.
  • Bloody Hilarious: There's blood all over his background, and he says that there's more blood when he stubs his toe than in the shower scene from Psycho.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: He references the fact that scenes across Tarantino's filmography contain graphic violence and strong language.
  • Insufferable Genius: But in a different style to Hitchcock, being more abrasive and less pompous.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Spielberg almost argues with Tarantino when the latter disses War of the Worlds, then concedes he's right.
  • Motor Mouth: Spits the fastest of the five rappers. The real Quentin is known for being a Keet.
  • Pop-Cultured Badass: References a lot of movie trivia, from Wikipedia, to obscure Sam L. Jackson parts, to Hitchcock's own history.
  • Precision F-Strike: It's Tarantino, this is expected.
    Scripts that I write ain't the, cleanest, (Fuck!)
  • Red Baron: Dubs himself the "King of Dialogue".
  • Signature Shot: Ends his verse with a Trunk Shot.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Self-admitted. His scripts aren't the *#*$& cleanest.

Stanley Kubrick

Played by: Ruggles Outbound note 

Michael Bay

Played by: Peter Shukoff

  • Affably Evil: Gleefully informs us the critics consider him this.
  • At Least I Admit It: He knows full well the critics hate him, but is upfront about the profits. His "Guilt Money" jab is also a crack that he, unlike the other directors, aren't slaves to making movies that'll please the critics and cinephiles.
  • Catch Phrase: "Motherfucking money!" and variations of thereof, which he repeats three times.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: He certainly doesn't care that "the critics say I'm evil". Whether or not he agrees with them is less clear.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Bay's movie are, directly or indirectly, insulted in every verse. Then he makes his Dynamic Entry.
  • The Chew Toy: Every single other rapper makes fun of him or his movies in their raps.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: If you're bothered by the fact that he says "MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!" three times in his verse, too bad.
    "I don't give a fuck."
  • Critic-Proof: In-Universe, he brags that his movies rakes in the billions despite their critic hate. He's too busy working on sequels to the movies they can't stand to read their reviews.
  • The Dog Bites Back: His reason for entering the battle is specifically to get back at those who mocked him for the entire battle.
  • Dynamic Entry: In the manner of his movies, he arrives jumping out of a helicopter.
  • Flipping the Bird: Flips off all the other directors at the end of his verse.
  • Fun Personified: Movie-making-wise, he boasts how his movies are just fun and what the audience wants to see, while the other four rappers aim for more cerebral boasts.
  • Greed: He shamelessly admits that he only cares about making lots of money from his films. He also mocks the others for making films for guilt money.
  • Ground-Shattering Landing: After he jumps out of a helicopter, he sends earth flying.
  • Having a Blast: Bay's verses seem to unleash explosions by themselves.
  • Hitler Cam: Or "zoom in low with a telephoto" as he calls it.
  • Incoming Ham: He flies in hanging off of a helicopter.
  • Large Ham: He certainly comes off in this way with his helicopter, explosions and "MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!"
  • Let's Get Dangerous: In his opening line, no less.
  • Only in It for the Money: In his own words why he does what he does:
    If there's one thing I've learned, bitch, this game is about motherfucking money!
  • Rage Breaking Point: It's implied that Kubrick's crack about the Ninja Turtles movie he produced was the straw that broke the camel's back.
  • Signature Shot: The low angle panning as he enters the battle, complete with gratuitous explosions.
  • Smug Snake: No amount of explosions can blast that smug grin off his face.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: Obviously. There are a fair few explosions in his verse, finishing with a nuclear one. He also blows up the ERB logo at the end.
  • Take That: After taking insults from everyone else, he in turn insults... Mark Wahlberg.
  • Three-Point Landing: He takes this pose after sticking the landing from his helicopter.

    Recurring Guest Stars 

George Watsky

Zach Sherwin

Ray William Johnson

  • Ambiguously Brown: Moreso with that Super Saiyan makeup. Still, a lot of fans feel he's a better casting choice than Justin Chatwin anyways.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: His Boba Fett counts as one. Not even the suit acting, just the voice.
  • Large Ham: The main reason the voice-only above stood out. Goku also has these moments.
  • Heroic Build: Packs just enough muscle to pull off Goku.
  • Motor Mouth: During a warmup exercise in one BTS.

Key And Peele

DeStorm Powers

Rhett & Link