Funny: Epic Rap Battles of History
Most of the Awesome entries double as this.
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John Lennon vs. Bill O'Reilly
Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler
- Adolf's entire first verse. It doesn't even give you time to know he's an Incoming Ham, and just cuts to him Chewing the Scenery like a beaver in furniture factory:
I AM ADOLF HITLER!!! Commander of ze Third Reich!Little known fact, ALSO DOPE ON ZE MIC!!!
Abraham Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris
- Abraham Lincoln's abridged version of the Civil War. "Four score, and sixty-five years in the past, I won the Civil War with my beard! Now I'm here to whoop your ass!"
- Right after that is "I've read up on your facts; you cure cancer with your tears?Well, tell me Chuck, how come you never sat down and cried on your career?"
Sarah Palin vs. Lady Gaga
The Mega Powers vs. Kim Jong-Il
- "Your body looks like a spray tan banana, with a walrus mustache and a wack bandana!"
- "You look like Sonic the Hedgehog's mother!"
- "I'm gonna bounce you like a check for my alimony!
- "All the little Hulksters know/I'll hang you from the ropes like a South Park puppet show!
- "Watch me snap into a Slim Jim Kim-Jong Il!
- "I don't like to hit little bitches with glasses/But when midgets step up, I stomp midget asses!"
- "So spend less time rapping, and start feedin' your people!"
Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig von BeethovenJust how thoroughly outmatched Bieber is; as soon as Beethoven starts rapping, you already know how this is going to turn out.
- Despite being outclassed, Bieber does manage to get a few good shots in:
- "And now that you're here next to me/I can see why they used a dog to play you in the movies."
- When Justin Bieber mentions that he has Kim Kardashian in his bed backstage, Beethoven looks suddenly interested.
- "I got a concert in five, so there's not much time left/what else can I say? Your own music made you deaf!"
- "I've crafted masterpieces that will last through the ages/your music gets you bitches on your Face Book pages!
- "I'm commiting verbal murder in the major third degree!/My name is Beethoven motherfucker, maybe you've heard of me?
- "Ask Bach, I've got more cock than Smith & Wesson !" Cue Johan Sebastian Bach popping up for telling us that, yes, it's THAT big.
- "I would smack you, but in Germany, we don't hit little girls. And I'm glad I'm deaf, so I don't have to hear that piece of shit My World! There's a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies. You wanna be a little white Usher? Here, show 'em to their seats!note
Albert Einstein vs. Stephen HawkingThis battle is more awesome than funny, but there are some good laughs:
- "What's with your voice? I can't frickin' tell/you sound like Wall E having sex with a Speak 'n Spell!
- "I'm as dope as two rappers, you'd better be scared. 'Cause that means Albert E equals M C squared."
- Although it could be seen coming, Stephen Hawking's speech aid basically being an Autotune device.
- "I've got 12-inch rims on my chair, that's how I roll, y'all/you look like someone glued a mustache on a troll doll!
- Hawking's tablet shows him playing Angry Birds.
- *Death Glare* "There are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles in the universe that we can observe/Your momma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd!"
Genghis Khan vs. The Easter Bunny
- The announcer's sigh before saying the Easter Bunny's name showing just how ridiculous he thinks the idea is.
- Hearing the Easter Bunny call Jesus Christ his "homeboy" is probably humanity's greatest achievement so far.
- Take a look at every single Rap Battle previous to this one and you'll notice they all have definite themes (peace vs. war, Evil Versus Evil, conservative vs. liberal, Megapowers vs superpower, and musician vs musician). Then, somehow, for some inexplicable reason, people wanted to see the completely unrelated Genghis Khan and the Easter Bunny throw down, which led to this battle.
Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Napoleon Dynamite
- "Gosh, I can't believe how much of a little bitch you are/when it comes to world leaders, you, like, literally lowered the bar!"
- Dynamyte's Waterloo Part Two line was pretty awesome...which he then immediately spoiled with his fist pump and little 'yes.'
- Ugh! I don't even care like, how many stupid Prussians you've killed/'cause to me, you're just the Emperor of the Lollipop Guild!
- Bonaparte's French line at the start of his second verse is hilarious if you know the translation.
- "I'm going to shove your moon boots straight up your poop shoot!"
- "You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang!"
Benjamin Franklin vs. Billy Mays
- Hi! Billy Mays here with a special TV offer! Watch me crush this bald fat foppish Founding Father!
- "You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail!" It's the delivery of the line that does it.
- "Benny's got kite and key, but you're in for a shock/when I strike you with bolts, from my lightning-rod cock!"
- "It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your ass!"
- Vince Offer's verse. "You're gonna love my nuts 'til you're bi-focal-curious!"
- "Slap-chop your face, make a double-chin salsa!"
- "It's bad enough I gotta see you every time I tip a stripper!"
Gandalf vs. Dumbledore
Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare
- Shakespeare's entire first verse is in Iambic Pentameter... something he happily points out to the Dr.
- "And ask 'What light through yonder poser breaks?'"
- Shakespeare uses the word "swag." It's so unfitting it becomes hilarious.
- Seuss's epic Kubrick Stare + Slasher Smile at the end of Shakespeare's first verse, complete with the latter's epic Oh Crap! face.
- "I would not, could not on a boat/read any of the boring-ass plays you wrote!
- "Even Horton doesn't wanna hear you/and Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you!"
- "You bore people to death/leave a classroom looking like the end of MacBeth!"
- While the Cat in the Hat is rapping for him, Seuss can be seen doing all sorts of things along with his rhymes, though the crowner has to be him vomiting rainbows out of seasickness during the above "on a boat" line.
- 1+2 = SO MUCH BLOOD
- Shakespeare's entire Motor Mouth verse. It's so unexpected and awesome it becomes funny.
- EVERYTHING about Things 1 and 2. From the Vocal Dissonance to their Axe Crazy lines, to Seuss pulling a Screw This, I'm Out of Here! just before calling them, to the sheer absuridty of these little munchkin-looking things with Helium Speech and ridiculous costumes rapping in sync about threatening harm to Shakespeare...where else can you find something like that?!
- "Ohhhhh, nooooo! We'll smash your Globe!"
- "Break our foot off in your ass/with our feetie pajamas!"
- "You gettin' upstaged, Bill, yo you just got played!"
Mr. T vs. Mr. RogersThis sets up like another Curb-Stomp Battle, in the style of the Justin Bieber or Easter Bunny battles, but not in the way you expect...
- Despite getting more and more flustered as the battle goes on, Mr. T gets some good lines in:
- Mr. Rogers breaking out into breakdance. Out of nowhere.
- "The only gold I keep is on the shelf, in my Emmys."
- "I teach the whole world full of children, I can tell/you call yourself T 'cause you're too dumb to spell."
- "I'm not the one with my face on some wack-ass Captain Crunch."
- "I'll chop you into four black dudes and I'll remake Cool Runnings."
- "I'll say this once, Lawrence. I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van, and get the fuck outta my neighborhood."
Christopher Columbus vs. Captain Kirk
- "Arrivederci! Imma leave before this battle begins! (Beat) ...cause we both know in the end which of these captains gonna win!" Note that the beat is actually him leaving and then coming back. The music does the same. If your internet connection is slow, you might even be fooled into thinking the rap stopped entirely.
- Captain Kirk rapping. The cadence alone is hilarious.
I'm the... enterprisingCaptainJames..TiberiusKirkrep...presentingRiversideIowaplanet... Earth.
- "...but that son of a bitch Marco Polo stole it from me."
- The background Kirk in his intro.
- "I'll stick a flag up your ass, and claim you for Spain!"
NicePeter vs. EpicLLOYD
- Nice Peter and Epic Lloyd look five seconds away from pouting after Nice Peter's final (rapped) line in their battle. Then there's Kassem's appearance.
- There's also humor to be found in Putin threatening to kill Nice Peter in the trailer for Season 2 if he doesn't include a Russian character, then showing up a season later.
Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler (rematch)
- EVERYTHING you do is an EPIC FAIL!
- Use some of your force to fix your fucking respirator!
- You got one bitch pregnant, then gave into the hate! Now you're 6'6 and black but can't get a date!
- Lightsaber? You need a Life Saver!
Master Chief vs. Leonidas
- It was inevitable, really...
- Leonidas: This! Is! SPARTA! *kicks MC into a pit*
- Master Chief refering to Leonidas as 'Fabio Flinstone'.
- Leonidas kicks Master Chief down a hole at the end of his first verse. Even the music cuts out and there is a good four seconds of silence while MC just flips head over heels and vanishes. once again it's easy to mistake for the rap finishing suddenly.
- Queen Gorgo's mild shrug which seemingly confirms that Master Chief did indeed show her his plasma cannon.
- This line:
- Master Chief: Your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with Down Syndrome!
- Leonidas stating "Ha! I've had better fights with my six year old son!". Right next to him is a small, super imposed Epic Lloyd in a diaper, waving his hands in the air and making angry faces.
- "Cortana says you're Greek, so why don't you stick these lyrics up your ass?"
The Wright Brothers vs. The Mario Brothers
- Luigi needs to watch his language:
- Mario: It's-a me, Mario!Luigi: AND LUIGI, MOTHA*bling*A
- "Representing North Carolina, aiiight!"
- From the Behind-the-Scenes of the Wright Brothers vs. Mario Brothers: I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!
- Also the opening, with Mario attempting to Eat His Gun over Princess Peach's yammering.
Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley
- Elvis stuffing his face with sandwiches to transform into Fat Elvis, and opening his second verse with "You're a creeper, dude! You like to grab your own wanger!"
- "I only let you marry my daughter/cause I knew you'd never bang her!"
- From the Behind the Scenes, Nice Peter's jokes about the make-up he needs to look like Michael Jackson.
Nice Peter: We're making a white man, whiter.
Elvis: Hey, Michael...MJ: I do NOT do heroin! Hey! Hey somebody—Cops! Cops!Elvis: Uhhh I gotta go! *sheepishly tries to run out the door*
- Michael's "Ooh! It's about time for a Thriller / Didn't lose any chocolate, I just added vanilla" and "Whoopin' your big fat ass with my shiny glove"
- "I can tell that you're angry but I just can't comprehend it/I stole from black culture, why are you offended?"
Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe
- The look on Monroe's face as she removes her earrings. It's perhaps the closest a rapper has come to threatening a physical Curb-Stomp Battle.
Bill Gates vs. Steve Jobs
- Bill Gates, after his first verse against Steve Jobs, becomes hilariously calm and nonchalant while Steve gets more and more frustrated.
- EPIC DANCE BATTLES OF HISTOH-REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH
- The video itself is hilarious, but read the comments for that video and you'll find this conversation:
[User2]: Nope, im watching this on my iSmack.[User3]: Really man? I got the iPwn instead. How is the iSmack?
- To explain, Bill Gates smacks a iPhone into an iPad calling the result "iPwn" and then reaching through his iPad into Steve's and smacks his face with an iPhone.
- The video itself is hilarious, but read the comments for that video and you'll find this conversation:
- Behind the Scenes:
Gates: Let's see, Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos... Ah! Heroin! There we go!
Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury
- Behind the Scenes of Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury. The perils of recording parts of lyrics:
(I'm the champion of the world) WORLD!
- Epic Lloyd's ping-pong antics (while dressed in costume, no less!) right at the end of the video. He just says "Point, Sinatra" every time he hits the ball, regardless of whether or not he won. At the last round:
"That your girlfriend back there?" "Yeah." "Next point wins her, GO!" "Wait, what!?" "Point, Sinatra."
"You're comin' with me baby, let's get some heroin and blow this pop stand."
- And the stinger:
Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney
- Barack Obama's expression as Abraham Lincoln chews him out.
- " Of the people, by the people, for the people, EAGLE!"
- Obama and Romney's battle essentially going from rapping to childish name-calling.
- At the end of Romney's first verse, it looks like he's... really going for distance on that kick.
Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who (10th/4th Doctor)
- Doc Brown summoning the Dalek. The face he makes and the words he says are what really make it hilarious.
Doc Brown: You don't get another turn to debate! Time to face your permanent fate! Now, da-lick my balls!Dalek: Exterminate!
- And this line is gold:
Doc: Despite all your companions, you couldn't be having less sex!/I don't know what's lamer: your fans, or your special effects!
- As the 10th Doctor dies and turns into the 4th while still rapping and making a callback to a joke from Back to the Future itself:
Prepare...to meet...your...(turns into 4th Doctor) Density! Ha ha ha ha!
- And this exchange:
4th Doctor: Cause you're a pitiful hillbilly hanging with an oedipal kid who's a bawk bawk chicken!Marty McFly: Nobody calls me chicken! (Epic Riff)
Bruce Lee vs. Clint Eastwood
- Clint Eastwood falls victim to a Hong Kong Dub in the middle of his first verse.
- Bruce Lee dribbles a ninja's head like a speedbag. The look on his face while he does this is pure gold.
Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes
- From Batman's overtly serious rhymes to Holmes' Sophisticated as Hell attitude.
- During Robin's verse, Batman's reactions to his sidekick's rapping in the background. First he just does a kind of "what the hell?" shrug, then looks at his wrist like he's waiting for Robin to finish.
- Robin's reaction after Batman throws down a smoke bomb to get away from him.
- Watson's reaction to Holmes' last line.
Moses vs. Santa Claus
- "I've read your book, you've got a strict religion. No bacon? But mandatory circumcision?" The elves' reaction to the lack of bacon seals the deal.
- Moses' first line: "When I was high on the mountaintop, God revealed the truths of the Earth, but he never mentioned a fatass Papa Smurf."
Adam vs. Eve
Martin Luther King vs. Mahatma Gandhi
- The delicious wordplays
King: No shoes, no shirt, but I'm still gonna serve ya. / Make you swallow your words so you can break the fast / Then thank God Almighty you can eat at last!King: Flatten your style like bread. / Naan violence.Gandhi: You would know about bread, Dr. Birmingham Sandwich. / Boycott those grits / Sit in with some spinach!
- The ending involves King enthusiastically hugging Ghandi to forcibly forgive him, but Gandhi is clearly not interested and slides down through King's arms, stopping by his ear long enough to whisper his last lines:
Gandhi: I am passively resisting the fact that you suck. / I am celibate because I don't give a fuuuuuuuuuuck.
Thomas Edison vs. Nikola Tesla
- Thomas Edison saying that he's "so dope that I even make New Jersey look good".
- Tesla has some:
History is being rewritten, and I have Reddit.So you can call me Tesla, Nikola, impeccably dressed.You did not steal from ME, you stole ME from MANKIND!
Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong
- "You lived strong, beat cancer! Congratulations! Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation!"
Amadeus Mozart vs. Skrillex
- That fact that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart vs. Skrillex exists.
- Just how contemptuous Mozart is - it's like he takes offence to Skrillex even being called a musician; and considering that this is a world-famous genius-level musician rapping against... well, Skrillex, he probably is.
You go from piano to fortississimoThat means 'soft' to 'very very loud' because I'M GUESSING THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
- And this line from Mozart:
What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy this?! I've no idea! I've seen more complexity in a couch from IKEA!
- Skrillex is no slouch either:
Your daddy issues make The Jackson 5 look like The Family Circus!
Rasputin vs. Josef Stalin
- Rasputin's dance when he says "Big Dick Mystic."
- Stalin going all Ax-Crazy and threatening to shoot all of Rasputin's family, all his wizard friends and anyone who sold him pierogi.
- The Up to Eleven Call Back to Obama vs Romney. First, Lenin interrupts both sides to reprimand them. Doesn't really seem all that fresh, until Gorbachev drops by as well, leading in with a dinky little tune that wouldn't sound out of place in a day care center. Now, the gag gets funny again, but it's when Putin drops by, shirtless, stoic, and generally sounding uninterested does the viewer realize the battle was derailed in the most hilarious way possible.
- Lenin rhyming right hand man with...right hand, man.
- Lenin has the funniest expression with that line; huge, wide eyes, like he's freaked out by Stalin's hand.◊
- in the same vein, another hilarious one occurs in the background a second or so earlier; Rasputin's reaction to the First Name Ultimatum delivered against Stalin.
- "I fought the bondage of classes/the proletariat masses/have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!"
- Lenin rhyming right hand man with...right hand, man.
- Every time somebody says "Did somebody say..."
- The Mood Whiplash that is Gorbachev in the five-way Season Finale rap.
- The cameo appearance of PewDiePie, which Pewdie had foreshadowed in a video and gotten viewers hyped up for? It's him as Mikhail Baryshnikov, dressed in a unitard and dancing. Made even funnier by Mikhail Gorbachev, of all people, saying he "had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa!" While scratching his crotch.
- Putin is quite easily the least physically energetic rapper in the series so far (excluding Stephen Hawking and HAL 9000) and it is hilarious when coupled with his deep, loud voice. Not to mention the fact that he sings his lines in this incredible dramatic baritone.
- This line is the solid gold breadwinner of the entire season:
Gorbachev: Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man! OH YEAH!
Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler Round 3
- Darth Vader calls in Boba Fett to finish his rap. He headbangs along to the entire verse looking like he's really enjoying the whole thing.
"OH SIEG HELLLLL NO!!! You're not gonna cheat me, Mr. 'Sunglasses All Ze Time!' I'll take you, and your new boyfriend Goofy, and all your spermy soldier guys, and throw YOU in a butthole in the sand! I AM ADOLF-!!!""(suddenly squeaky) ...Hitler..."
- Meanwhile Hitler recoils at first, and then raises his gun with a Slasher Smile. Boba is abruptly blown away mid line, and Vader's sudden surprised act just sells the whole moment. Really, the sheer range of expression they got out of a guy in a non-expressive helmet is a CMOA.
- Also, Hitler's Villainous Breakdown after Vader mocked him as a Real Life General Failure, and on top of that tried to snub his battle by sending in Boba Fett. He simply stops rapping, and instead spews nothing but childish threats:
- In the usual cluster of comments asking for the rap concept, there are several comments that read "BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH", "Boo sucks", "is that pewdiepie", and "Vader vs Hitler is getting kinda old, no offense".
- In the beginning, instead of a swastika, it's a middle finger.
Al Capone vs. Blackbeard.
- The fact that Edward Kenway makes a cameo is both this and a CMOA. Considering who gave the ERB crew a boat to use for the video, it's a nice little thank you to them.
- "...Well you're a huge dick." Just the way he said it.
Joan of Arc vs. Miley Cyrus.
- Joan of Arc telling Miley that "(her) highest calling was a text from Wiz Khalifa", mocking both Miley's irreverence and Wiz's addiction.
Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso.
- "You're the PBS version of Niiiiiiiiickleback," delivered in Chad Kroeger's signature groan.
- At one point, Picasso draws a giant middle finger in the background.
- Picasso looks down and says, "I could make better art with my weiner...Lump," followed by him holding up his weiner dog.
- Picasso uses his Overly Long Name in a rap... And it works.
- "Back. To. You. Bob."
- Bob Ross ends his by saying, "Yo Pablo, you just got your happy little ass beat."
- Bob Ross opens his second verse speaking with pride and patriotism about his military career... then does a goofy little dance.
Michael Jordan vs. Muhammad Ali
- You used to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee / now you double-dribble balls that nobody can see!
- "You should let the Fresh Prince do your rapping for you. (Swish!)"
- "Your whole basketball career turned whack / When you came back a wizard like Gandalf the Black!"
- "Cause your rapping sucks more than Space Jam did!"
Ebenezer Scrooge vs. Donald Trump
- "I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair!"
- "You should have made like Sebastian and kissed de girl!" Because who expected a Little Mermaid reference from these guys?
- At the end of the video, Scrooge was about to say Tiny Tim's closing line, but is soon cut off by the announcer.
- Donald Trump calling his ex-wife ugly and compares Scrooge to his wife in a bikini since they're both disgusting.
- While the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is otherwise the biggest Knight of Cerebus in the series, his appearance gives us this gem. "Boo." "AAH!"
- Yes, the nonchalant way he says "You're gonna die!" is scary as fuck. It's also funny as hell.
- "I got my own f***g problems"
- Kanye. Really who saw that coming?
Rick Grimes vs. Walter White
- Yep, even in a rap battle, Rick has to yell at Carl to stay inside.
- "You look up to me like I'm a pizza on the roof!"
- "I'll be standing right here, in my tighty Walter Whities"
- Blink and you'll miss it: after Walter distracts a walker with a bag of meth, in his last shot you can see the same walker tweaking in the background. He got a dead man high.
- "No one saw Shane coming, except for your wife."
- From the BTS video, Peter tells Lloyd that the heroin joke did not make it. What the follows is an extremely melodramatic funeral for the joke with the walkers mourning and Lloyd crying.
- Walter keeps making loud throat noises. While that's a little funny in and of itself, it's all the more funnier do to the fact that it sounds like he has a phlegm problem.
Superman vs. Goku
- "Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes: just one punch - and OVER NINE THOUSAND SCREAMS!"
- "I'll make your nose bleed like Roshi sniffing panties!"
- This line comes up that would not be out of place in =3.
Look at those panties (Oh!)You got that camel(toe!)I'll report to Lois Lane
Stephen King vs. Edgar Allan Poe
- King putting as many Puns about his work as he can into the Battle.
You better start Running, Man, You're in deep poo Poe,
- Stephen King ends the rap battle... by saying "Never more" in the sort of tone a raven would use when imitating human speech.
- Upon saying "Your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary", Edgar Allan Poe gets Puppy-Dog Eyes, complete with a Slasher Smile.
- "I see through you like pantyhose!"
- Edgar Allan Poe's melancholy dancing in the background. It's the sour expression and that's he's looking at the ground that really sells it. Plus his pose during King's "Perving on your first cousin when she's thirteen years old?" line.
Sir Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye
- Newton's First Line:
Of all the scientific minds in history,
- Bill Nye's walk after his line, "hitting my stride," is quite humorous.
- During Neil deGrasse Tyson's closing verse, Bill Nye's movements are nothing short of hilarious.
- Almost every movement in this battle is a funny background event. Apart from the above examples with Nye, we have Newton pushing himself out of the way, and later sharing a verse with one of his doubles, who also nods an agreement with his own lines. Finally, when Neil deGrasse Tyson appears out of Newton's equation Newton slowly turns sideways as he notices with a rather downplayed Oh Crap! reaction
- From the BTS, Chali 2na's poignant description of his son's reaction.
- When William calls out George for growing weed and making hemp rope, we briefly see George give a mischievous little "you're right, it was worth it" type shrug.
- That ridiculous dance from one of George's troops.
- William's very first line:
Look at you! In your little blousy outfit!
Artists vs TMNT
- The turtles' verses are chock full of hilarity.
- Leonardo mimimg a hellicopter
- Raphael referring to himself as a "cool but rude guy", like in the cartoon them song.
- Donatello's Gattamelata pun
- The face Artist!Raphael makes in his title card. It's exactly what you would expect from Anthony.
- The first words out of Artist!Leonardo's mouth are hilariously out of place.
- Apparently Artist!Donatello found enough time to make and put the finishing touches on Gattamelata during the Turtles' verse.
- "You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer!"
- If Artist!Raphael's "Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned till I croaked" line doesn't make you laugh, him crossing himself before going for a pelvic thrust will.
Ghostbusters VS Mythbusters
- Jamie being The Stoic in contrast to Adam. No Sense of Personal Space moments included. Then, even better, him dancing alongside Adam with the same deep voice and cold expression.
- Janine's three-word cameo- " WE GOT ONE!" It comes out of nowhere but fits perfectly.
- Egon's three lines in the first verse (with Winston's Shout-Out from the movie!)
Ego: I collect spores.Winston: Tell him about the Twinkie.Ego: Like your show, it's all fluff and filler. I'll kick your hiney, man— I'm a savage killer.
- When talking about a "safety switch", Adam and Jamie do pelvic thrusts.
- Pausing at just the right moment reveals this◊ Freeze-Frame Bonus of Adam's face
- "That's enough from the walrus and Dickless the Clown!"
- Grant says they "come harder than Ray when that ghost popped his cherry". Next scene we see is Ray being held back by the other Ghostbusters.
- Tory fails to think of a rhyme and just goes "Uhhhh..."
- And given what follows, this is actually one of the funniest instances of Nice Job Breaking It, Hero.
- The faces on the Ghostbusters as Adam tells Tory to say the first thing that pops into his mind— while the Mythbusters, who don't believe in ghosts, don't know where that kind of thing goes, the Ghostbusters are perfectly aware, and are proven right when Stay Puft shows up to the fight.
- This bit as Stay Puft shows up:
Stay Puft: Blaze chumps and flip Kari butterside up!Kari: (sounding offended and pissed off) Hey!Stay Puft: I smother Ghostbusters in fluffernutter, I don't play; show these dweebs how to rock a beret!Jamie: (sounding maybe a little irked) Hey.
- The fact that Stay Puft's voice is a dead on impression of Biggie Smalls.
Bonnie and Clyde vs. Romeo and Juliet
- Everybody dies. We probably should have seen this coming.
- Romeo promises to lie on his stomach so Bonnie and Clyde can lick his ass. Later, we see his corpse with his butt raised in the air, and Juliet screams about Romeo having poison on his face even though she can only see his backside. That's quite some mileage out of one joke about behinds.
- The Announcer's absolutely lost reaction at the end of the battle; instead of a boisterous "WHO WON?!" it's this softer and confused "who won...?"
- The poison line is priceless in and of itself, especially with how it's suddenly just SCREAMED.
Juliet: Where's Romeo? OH NOMEO! There's poison on your face!
- Bonnie making light of Mercutio's death at the hands of John Leguizamo.
- Bonnie and Clyde's reaction to Romeo and Juliet killing themselves.
Clyde: Well that was tragic.Bonnie: That did not go as expected.Bonnie: It's kinda sad though, really, so young, to have just died...Clyde: Well, at least we got each other.Bonnie: Just BonnieClyde: And- *RATATATATATAT*
- Nice Peter attempts a horrible English accent and Grace Helbig barely even tries to do one most of the time. It ends up being hilarious.
- There's something incredibly hilarious about the combination of Shakespearian insults combined with more modern cracks.
Romeo: Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, should I draw my longsword, or will you duck your chicken-shit ass back into your Ford?Juliet: A moment break from your gaze is an eternity past, so together we shall both put these bitches on blast!
- How Bonnie perks up after Clyde says they'll rob R&J blind. Outlaw Couple, ladies and gentlemen!
- The Meta humour of Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart, who are great friends in real life threatening to kill each other is pretty funny. You can imagine they both had a blast with filming.
Zeus vs Thor
- This is a battle between two thunder gods...depicted in the medium of Lego bricks. "Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants" are hilariously wrong when the characters are basically made of children's toys.
- When Thor knocks the Jotun off the rainbow bridge it lets out the Wilhelm Scream.
- Zeus talks up Greece's historical accomplishments. Thor later retorts:
Thor: "I'll drop you like Greece's GDP!"
- Zeus tells Thor "Loki must've written your lines!" Loki's reaction suggests he did.
- We may have found the most disgustingly hilarious mythology joke ever told:
Thor: (to Zeus) Now make like your daddy, AND SWALLOW MY BABIES!
- The end of Thor's first verse:
Thor: I'd spit in your face, but you'd probably like it!
- One of the Olympians accompanying Zeus is actually Bombur.note
- When Zeus brings up astronomy, the star chart in the sky shows the usual ones like Leo, Cancer and Sagittarius, the lesser-known but legit rabbit constellation, along with giant sunglasses, what looks like Pharell Williams' hat, the duck from "The Duck Song", young Simba, and Forrest Fire's (the animator of this battle) big "F" logo.
- What's going on in the background of Asgard? We have waving pennants, a sword being forged, and Loki happily spending the whole battle doing a silly dance.
- "And tell your three-headed bitch I said hi!" Cue Cerberus barking.
Jack The Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter
- Hannibal tells Jack to shut up about himself in a very...blunt fashion.
Hannibal: Quit jacking off on the track and 'put the lotion in the basket!
- For an otherwise dark battle, this line is very out of place.
Hannibal: The thought of your putrid flesh makes me want to shiver, cause your British body's covered in more piss than kitty litter!
- Hannibal works quite a few Breaking Speeches into his raps. One of the funnier ones is after Jack brings up the 7/7 London bombings at the end of his second verse.
Hannibal: No, no, Jack! You were doing fine, until your ham-fisted attempt at a terrorist line!
Oprah vs Ellen
- The little mitten ditty Epic Lloyd does in the BTS video. He's out and about in a snowy forest, complaining about the winter chill and claiming the "frosty LA has his hand tootsies chilly." Each detail begins with a "What?!" and the mitten details pile up...until he finds out that the "snowy forest" isn't real.
Epic Lloyd: What? None of this is real?!
- The battle was uploaded earlier than usual on release day... with a description that shows how exhausted the ERB team was at the time of release.
Hi.It's late.Lauren Flans.November Christine.rap.-p&l
- The announcer, post battle:
Who won? Who's next? You decide! You decide! You decide! You decide! You decide!
WIFI VS BLUETOOTHThanksgiving vs. Christmassir mix a lot vs. hello kittyhow i meeth your mother vs. the big bang theoryJjjjjMarshmeloActually its not so bad
- More comments show up as the announcer keeps continuing, most of them aren't for the battle, and some of them aren't even suggestions for battles. Including:
Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock vs. Quentin Tarantino vs. Stanley Kubrick vs. Michael Bay
- Throughout the whole song, every verse makes at least one Take That at Michael Bay. So for the last verse, Bay shows up to fire back.
Spielberg: I rock the Academy, and the DGA; you rock as many Oscars as that schlep, Michael Bay!Hitchcock: My skill is enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance; you're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers!Tarantino: Due to War of the Worlds, a failure's what I label you; it looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do!Kubrick: Like Clockwork, make you all hurt; beat Spielberg The Color Purple! A.I. is the worst waste of potential since the Ninja Turtles!
- Spielberg tells Hitchcock to "kiss his full moon" while pulling down his pants and turning around. Hitchcock then dismisses his verse as a "close encounter of the turd kind".
- Michael Bay rides in on a helicopter at sunset, one of the things that constantly shows up in his works, and is extremely blatant about what motivates him.
Bay: If there's one thing that I've learned, bitch, this game is about MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!Bay: I MAKE THAT DOLLAR, Y'ALL! MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!
- Bay's introduction: low angle, slow motion, camera spinning around him as he rises. In other words, a Michael Bay-esque shot so perfect you can't help but laugh.
- Bay's line: I ain't got that guilt money, I don't give a fuck! Take my checks to the bank and I sign 'em with my nuts!
- Hitchcock breakdancing. The very idea is a gutbuster, but you get to watch him do it. And he is awesome.
- When Tarantino calls War of the Worlds "sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do," Spielberg's looks like he's about to object, but then make a "Yeah, I guess you're right" expression.
- Spielberg clasping his arms together and waddling.
Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted
- Both the lines as well as Tednote and Billnote 's reaction to them makes this particular moment hilarious.
Clark: Did you hear that, Meriwether?Lewis: I think they mean to brawl!Clark: I'll take Neo.
- Who'd've thought they'd ever hear Rhett and Link call someone a dickweed?
- Sacagawea wrestling a bear and killing it.
- Lewis and Clark compare the tiny fish they caught...and Sacagawea just rolls her eyes and holds up her huge fish!
- Lewis and Clark threaten to walk all over Bill and Ted, but that's not all:
Lewis & Clark: Then give 'em back a whole stack of maps and accurate chartsLewis & Clark:Showing exactly where our footprints on their buttocks are marked!
- Picturing Bill and Ted as Companions is hilarious.
"You're worthless, your future selves should have told you that! Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back!"
- This battle marks a rare occasion where the opponents agree on something: Bill's stepmom is hot.
Harry Houdini vs David Copperfield
- Criss Angel tries to join the rap battle, only to be immediately rebuffed:
Houdini: And you can't hide shame with a camera angle.Criss Angel: Did somebody say Angel?Houdini: No.Criss Angel: (Dejected) Oh. *Floats off screen*
- This line from Houdini:
Houdini: Eh, your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarassing./You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering!
Robocop Vs The Terminator
- There's a bit of Freeze-Frame Bonus hilarity in the battle. Robocop's directives at one point appear as thus:
PRIME DIRECTIVES1: Serve the Public trust.2: Maximize blood squibs3: Defeat all sucker Emcees
4: CLASSIFIED.Robocop: OCP gave me the skills to wreck this, I can't help if I'm fresh, It's my Prime Directive!PRIME DIRECTIVE: BE FRESH AS FUCK
- Then in a later moment Robocop repeats the famous "secret Prime Directive" moment from the movie, but with a twist:
- Similarly, we briefly see the T-800's interface as he analyzes his enemy:
MULTIPLE TARGETS ACQUIREDSpread Pattern - PredictableTag line - Limp deliveryFirepower - Cool in the 80's, maybenoteAnalysis: WEAK
- During The Terminator's first verse, he claims that Robocop's balls were left off during his reconstruction. Then, he does a pitch-perfect impersonation of Murphy's wife
- Most fans notice that, for some reason, Peter's Robocop voice sounds like an auto-tuned Joe Swanson
- The Terminator's facial expressions while rapping are nothing short of hilarious. Especially "Based on my detailed analysis of the lyrical structure of battle raps, it's time for your next shit verse, and then…I'll be back!"
Philosophers East vs West
- When the Western philosophers start squabbling, Sun Tzu can be seen creeping up and spying on them, as well as peeking around a corner, evoking this old meme.
- Similar to the surprising Soulja Boy reference in "Superman vs. Goku", when Lao Tzu gets angry when Sun Tzu insults him:
Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way!
- Voltaire's shocked reaction when Confucius insults his "egg noodle hair".
- Same to Nietzsche's look of embarrassment when Confucius asks if God died of shame when he made his mustache.
- The ending has lots of these
Narrator:(Instead of his usual outro) What. Is. Winning? Who. Is. Next?
- The teams completely fall apart and start infighting near the end; a first in the series.
- Nietzsche throws up his hands and storms off in a huff, and Lao Tzu and Sun Tzu start yanking on Confucius' beard.
- Even the narrator is shocked! (And bonus points for his flubbing making it sound like he's putting forth philosophical questions.)
Narrator: Epic... QUUIIIEEEET!!!... RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
- Even more so, The Narrator gets so annoyed at their loud squabbling that he even interrupts his own Signing Off Catch Phrase just to tell them to shut up.
- Confucius's final line deserves mention for sounding like he's quoting himself while simultaneously grabbing his junk when saying it.
Confucius: Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cooooookies!
- Also, the ridiculous facial expressions he makes both here and in his silent closeup.
- The point where the eastern philosophers start infighting:
Lao Tzu: We must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty.Sun Tzu: (UGGH!!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, but you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!
- Doubly hilarious that Sun Tzu sounds exactly like a typical Chinese teenager getting into their fight with their elders.
- Triply hilarious since Sun Tzu missed Laozi's point, that being that if the eastern philosophers had just remained quiet, then they would have been the undisputed winners.
- Doubly hilarious that Sun Tzu sounds exactly like a typical Chinese teenager getting into their fight with their elders.
- The Eastern Philosophers kowtowing with their works is hilarious, as is Socrates flexing during his next verse and a brief shot of Sun Tzu, Lao Tzu and Confucius all stroking their magnificent beards.
- Voltaire's last verse:
Let me be frank!Don't start beef with the Frank!Who hangs with B. Franks!Giving ladies beef franks!
Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar
- Caesar slam dunking in the background of his first verse.
- Caesar in the foreground silently shimmying across the screen while staring into the camera while the Caesar in the background raps during his first verse is somewhat creepy yet hilarious.
- In the Behind the Scenes, Lloyd portrays his Roman soldier as incredibly whiny. After we've been treated to a few scenes of this, Peter snaps and tells him, "That character is the worst! It makes everything else you've done less funny because of how bad it is!"
- Starting Caesar's first verse. It's the nonchalant stoicism that sells it.
You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper.I heard you had poison spit: where was it in this cypher?
- Starting Shaka's second verse:
Right, I've heard of your play. Tell me, how does it end?Oh, yes: You get stabbed many times by your friends!
Stan Lee vs Jim Henson
- Walt Disney interrupting everything to yell at them to get back to work.
- Stan Lee says he misses Jim Henson and that Jim died way too soon. Jim's answer?
Most of the internet thought that you died twelve years ago.
- ERB News with Teddy Roosevelt always starts with: "What's up, bitcheeees?!"
- "My name is Adam Smith! I invented capitalism!"
- Each ERB News segment features the Announcer saying "EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY" in time to footage of some sort of animal opening and closing its mouth. You are guaranteed to bust a gut.
- Stephen King actually watched and enjoyed the video of him battling Edgar Allen Poe. He even tweeted his own lines he'd like to add:
Listen here Poe, never seen a rapper as lame as you, I'll fill your Pit and bust your Pendulum, too!
- The ERB Funnies videos take clips from the rap battles and mangle them to hilarious levels. The ERB channel even commented on a video saying it made them laugh!
EpicLLOYD: [on "Free Willy.", based on George Washington vs. William Wallace] this is some trippy ass shite ... and i love it.
- EpicLLOYD himself has commented on several of their videos voicing his approval.