Funny / Epic Rap Battles of History

Most of the Awesome entries double as this.
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    Season 1 

John Lennon vs. Bill O'Reilly

  • "Because I'm evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle!"
  • The way more Bills appear, all bobbing their heads in sync, while he says "right-wing political machine".

Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler

Abraham Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris

  • Abraham Lincoln's abridged version of the Civil War. "Four score, and sixty-five years in the past, I won the Civil War with my beard! Now I'm here to whoop your ass!"
    • Right after that is "I've read up on your facts; you cure cancer with your tears?Well, tell me Chuck, how come you never sat down and cried on your career?"

Sarah Palin vs. Lady Gaga

The Mega Powers vs. Kim Jong-Il

  • "Your body looks like a spray tan banana, with a walrus mustache and a wack bandana!"
  • "Your whole fam's a bunch of Barbies, dude!" is probably one of the funniest lines in the show's history.
  • "You look like Sonic the Hedgehog's mother!"
  • "I'm gonna bounce you like a check for my alimony!
  • "All the little Hulksters know/I'll hang you from the ropes like a South Park puppet show!
  • Almost all of the Macho Man's verse counts:
    • "Watch me snap into a Slim Jim Kim-Jong Il!
    • "I don't like to hit little bitches with glasses/But when midgets step up, I stomp midget asses!"
    • "So spend less time rapping, and start feedin' your people!"

Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig von Beethoven

Just how thoroughly outmatched Bieber is; as soon as Beethoven starts rapping, you already know how this is going to turn out.
  • Despite being outclassed, Bieber does manage to get a few good shots in:
    • "And now that you're here next to me/I can see why they used a dog to play you in the movies."
    • When Justin Bieber mentions that he has Kim Kardashian in his bed backstage, Beethoven looks suddenly interested.
    • "I got a concert in five, so there's not much time left/what else can I say? Your own music made you deaf!"
  • "I've crafted masterpieces that will last through the ages/your music gets you bitches on your Facebook pages!
  • "I'm committing verbal murder in the major third degree!/My name is Beethoven motherfucker, maybe you've heard of me?
  • "Ask Bach, I've got more cock than Smith & Wesson!" Cue Johann Sebastian Bach popping up for telling us that, yes, it's THAT big.
  • And then: "You wanna trade blows? You can't even hit puberty!" Cue Bach popping up again to tell us that it's this small.
  • "I would smack you, but in Germany, we don't hit little girls. And I'm glad I'm deaf, so I don't have to hear that piece of shit My World! There's a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies. You wanna be a little white Usher? Here, show 'em to their seats!note 

Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking

This battle is more awesome than funny, but there are some good laughs:

Genghis Khan vs. The Easter Bunny

  • The announcer's sigh before saying the Easter Bunny's name showing just how ridiculous he thinks the idea is.
  • Hearing the Easter Bunny call Jesus Christ his "homeboy" is probably humanity's greatest achievement so far.
  • Take a look at every single Rap Battle previous to this one and you'll notice they all have definite themes (peace vs. war, Evil Versus Evil, conservative vs. liberal, Megapowers vs superpower, and musician vs musician). Then, somehow, for some inexplicable reason, people wanted to see the completely unrelated Genghis Khan and the Easter Bunny throw down, which led to this battle.

Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Napoleon Dynamite

Benjamin Franklin vs. Billy Mays

Gandalf vs. Dumbledore

Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare

Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers

This sets up like another Curb-Stomp Battle, in the style of the Justin Bieber or Easter Bunny battles, but not in the way you expect...
  • Despite getting more and more flustered as the battle goes on, Mr. T gets some good lines in:
    • "You couldn't even beat me in the land of make-believe!"
    • "And nobody gonna miss you/'cause all your friends imaginary!"
    • "Hello? It's for you! Bill Cosby wants his sweater!"
  • Mr. Rogers breaking out into breakdance. Out of nowhere.
  • "The only gold I keep is on the shelf, in my Emmys."
  • "I teach the whole world full of children, I can tell/you call yourself T 'cause you're too dumb to spell."
  • "I'm not the one with my face on some wack-ass Captain Crunch."
  • "I'll chop you into four black dudes and I'll remake Cool Runnings."
  • "I'll say this once, Lawrence. I hope it's understood. Get right back in your van, and get the fuck outta my neighborhood."

Christopher Columbus vs. Captain Kirk

NicePeter vs. EpicLLOYD

  • Nice Peter and Epic Lloyd look five seconds away from pouting after Nice Peter's final (rapped) line in their battle. Then there's Kassem's appearance.
  • There's also humor to be found in Putin threatening to kill Nice Peter in the trailer for Season 2 if he doesn't include a Russian character, then showing up a season later.

    Season 2 

Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler (rematch)

  • EVERYTHING you do is an EPIC FAIL!
  • Use some of your force to fix your fucking respirator!
  • You got one bitch pregnant, then gave into the hate! Now you're 6'6 and black but can't get a date!
  • Lightsaber? You need a Life Saver!

Master Chief vs. Leonidas

  • It was inevitable, really...
    Leonidas: This! Is! SPARTA! *kicks MC into a pit*
  • Master Chief refering to Leonidas as 'Fabio Flinstone'.
  • Leonidas kicks Master Chief down a hole at the end of his first verse. Even the music cuts out and there is a good four seconds of silence while MC just flips head over heels and vanishes. once again it's easy to mistake for the rap finishing suddenly.
  • Queen Gorgo's mild shrug which seemingly confirms that Master Chief did indeed show her his plasma cannon.
  • This line:
    Master Chief: Your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with Down Syndrome!
  • Leonidas stating "Ha! I've had better fights with my six year old son!". Right next to him is a small, super imposed Epic Lloyd in a diaper, waving his hands in the air and making angry faces.
  • "Cortana says you're Greek, so why don't you stick these lyrics up your ass?"

The Wright Brothers vs. The Mario Brothers

Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley

  • Elvis stuffing his face with sandwiches to transform into Fat Elvis, and opening his second verse with "You're a creeper, dude! You like to grab your own wanger!" "I only let you marry my daughter/cause I knew you'd never bang her!"
  • From the Behind the Scenes, Nice Peter's jokes about the make-up he needs to look like Michael Jackson.
    Nice Peter: We're making a white man, whiter.
    • Also:
    Elvis: Hey, Michael...
    MJ: I do NOT do heroin! Hey! Hey somebody—Cops! Cops!
    Elvis: Uhhh I gotta go! *sheepishly tries to run out the door*
  • Michael's "Ooh! It's about time for a Thriller / Didn't lose any chocolate, I just added vanilla" and "Whoopin' your big fat ass with my shiny glove"
  • "I can tell that you're angry but I just can't comprehend it/I stole from black culture, why are you offended?"
  • Elvis' last verse:
    Elvis: I'm out
    Before you try to grab me and free your willy
    Later, weirdo
    Elvis is leavin' the building!

Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe

  • The look on Monroe's face as she removes her earrings. It's perhaps the closest a rapper has come to threatening a physical Curb-Stomp Battle.
    • "Translate this into hieroglyphs: Your sandy vagina has a seven-year itch!"

Bill Gates vs. Steve Jobs

  • Steve: "Let me bring up some basic shit, why'd you name your company after your dick?"Don't get it? 
  • Bill Gates, after his first verse against Steve Jobs, becomes hilariously calm and nonchalant while Steve gets more and more frustrated.
  • At the final scene, we have Gates and Jobs doing a little dance, after which the two old guys have to hobble in pain because they injured their hip/back.
  • Behind the Scenes:
    Gates: Let's see, Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos... Ah! Heroin! There we go!

Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury

  • Behind the Scenes of Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury. The perils of recording parts of lyrics:
    (I'm the champion of the world) WORLD!
    (Extinguished in my prime) PRIME!
    (So kiss my ass, Frankie) ASS!
    "Sounds like a steak..."
  • Epic Lloyd's ping-pong antics (while dressed in costume, no less!) right at the end of the video. He just says "Point, Sinatra" every time he hits the ball, regardless of whether or not he won. At the last round:
    "That your girlfriend back there?" "Yeah." "Next point wins her, GO!" "Wait, what!?" "Point, Sinatra."
    • And the stinger:
    "You're comin' with me baby, let's get some heroin and blow this pop stand."

Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney

Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who (10th/4th Doctor)

  • Doc Brown summoning the Dalek. The face he makes and the words he says are what really make it hilarious.
    Doc Brown: You don't get another turn to debate! Time to face your permanent fate! Now, da-lick my balls!
    Dalek: Exterminate!
  • And this line is gold:
    Doc: Despite all your companions, you couldn't be having less sex!/I don't know what's lamer: your fans, or your special effects!
  • As the 10th Doctor dies and turns into the 4th while still rapping and making a callback to a joke from Back to the Future itself: meet...your...(turns into 4th Doctor) Density! Ha ha ha ha!
  • And this exchange:
    4th Doctor: Cause you're a pitiful hillbilly hanging with an oedipal kid who's a bawk bawk chicken!
    Marty McFly: Nobody calls me chicken! (Epic Riff)

Bruce Lee vs. Clint Eastwood

  • Clint Eastwood falls victim to a Hong Kong Dub in the middle of his first verse.
  • Bruce Lee dribbles a ninja's head like a speedbag. The look on his face while he does this is pure gold.

Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes

  • From Batman's overtly serious rhymes to Holmes' Sophisticated as Hell attitude.
  • During Robin's verse, Batman's reactions to his sidekick's rapping in the background. First he just does a kind of "what the hell?" shrug, then looks at his wrist like he's waiting for Robin to finish.
  • Robin's reaction after Batman throws down a smoke bomb to get away from him.
  • Watson's reaction to Holmes' last line.

Moses vs. Santa Claus

  • "I've read your book, you've got a strict religion. No bacon? But mandatory circumcision?" The elves' reaction to the lack of bacon seals the deal.
  • Moses' first line: "When I was high on the mountaintop, God revealed the truths of the Earth, but he never mentioned a fatass Papa Smurf."
  • "We ain't slaves, all that sand's turned your brains to mush!" "I think you've smoked too much of that burning bush!" Santa's baritone, especially on the last two words, makes this one.

Adam vs. Eve

Martin Luther King vs. Mahatma Gandhi

  • The delicious wordplays
    King: No shoes, no shirt, but I'm still gonna serve ya. / Make you swallow your words so you can break the fast / Then thank God Almighty you can eat at last!
    King: Flatten your style like bread. / Naan violence.
    Gandhi: You would know about bread, Dr. Birmingham Sandwich. / Boycott those grits / Sit in with some spinach!
  • The ending involves King enthusiastically hugging Ghandi to forcibly forgive him, but Gandhi is clearly not interested and slides down through King's arms, stopping by his ear long enough to whisper his last lines:
    Gandhi: I am passively resisting the fact that you suck. / I am celibate because I don't give a fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Thomas Edison vs. Nikola Tesla

  • Thomas Edison saying that he's "so dope that I even make New Jersey look good".
  • Tesla has some:
    History is being rewritten, and I have Reddit.
    So you can call me Tesla, Nikola, impeccably dressed.
    You did not steal from ME, you stole ME from MANKIND!

Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong

  • "You lived strong, beat cancer! Congratulations! Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation!"
  • "It's the bottom of the ninth against the Texan in a bathing suit filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth..."

Amadeus Mozart vs. Skrillex

  • That fact that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart vs. Skrillex exists.
  • Just how contemptuous Mozart is - it's like he takes offence to Skrillex even being called a musician; and considering that this is a world-famous genius-level musician rapping against... well, Skrillex, he probably is.
    You go from piano to fortississimo
    That means 'soft' to 'very very loud' because I'M GUESSING THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
  • And this line from Mozart:
    What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy this?! I've no idea! I've seen more complexity in a couch from IKEA!
  • Skrillex is no slouch either:
    Your daddy issues make The Jackson 5 look like The Family Circus!

Rasputin vs. Josef Stalin

  • Rasputin's dance when he says "Big Dick Mystic."
  • Stalin going all Ax-Crazy and threatening to shoot all of Rasputin's family, all his wizard friends and anyone who sold him pierogi.
  • The Up to Eleven Call Back to Obama vs Romney. First, Lenin interrupts both sides to reprimand them. Doesn't really seem all that fresh, until Gorbachev drops by as well, leading in with a dinky little tune that wouldn't sound out of place in a day care center. Now, the gag gets funny again, but it's when Putin drops by, shirtless, stoic, and generally sounding uninterested does the viewer realize the battle was derailed in the most hilarious way possible.
  • Every time somebody says "Did somebody say..."
  • The Mood Whiplash that is Gorbachev: "I shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and Mc Donald's."
  • The cameo appearance of PewDiePie, which Pewdie had foreshadowed in a video and gotten viewers hyped up for? It's him as Mikhail Baryshnikov, dressed in a unitard and dancing. Made even funnier by Mikhail Gorbachev, of all people, saying he "had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa!" While scratching his crotch.
  • Putin is quite easily the least physically energetic rapper in the series so far (excluding Stephen Hawking and HAL 9000) and it is hilarious when coupled with his deep, loud voice. Not to mention the fact that he sings his lines in this incredible dramatic baritone.
  • This line is the solid gold breadwinner of the entire season:
    Gorbachev: Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man! OH YEAH!
  • The simple fact that the creepy, hoarse, Kubrick Staring Rasputin opens fire on Stalin over a tense beat with "Cool moustache. Wario."

    Season 3 

Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler Round 3

Al Capone vs. Blackbeard.

  • The fact that Edward Kenway makes a cameo is both this and a CMOA. Considering who gave the ERB crew a boat to use for the video, it's a nice little thank you to them.
  • "...Well you're a huge dick." Just the way he said it.
  • "Rhymes so hard they call me Al (music stops for a beat) Dente".

Joan of Arc vs. Miley Cyrus.

  • Joan of Arc telling Miley that "(her) highest calling was a text from Wiz Khalifa", mocking both Miley's irreverence and Wiz's addiction.

Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso.

  • "You're the PBS version of Niiiiiiiiickleback," delivered in Chad Kroeger's signature groan.
  • At one point, Picasso draws a giant middle finger in the background.
  • Picasso looks down and says, "I could make better art with my weiner...Lump," followed by him holding up his weiner dog.
  • For the artists in the audience, Bob's first verse comes with a couple of extremely funny art jokes:
    Your work is melancholic; I'm painting happy little trees; Call me Jackson Pollock, cause I splatter MC's.
    • And then this gem:
    I'll twist you up like you're a Rubik's cubist!.
    • Pablo promptly responds with Don't use that word like you KNOW what it is!.
  • Picasso uses his Overly Long Name in a rap... And it works.
    • "Back. To. You. Bob."
  • Bob Ross ends his by saying, "Yo Pablo, you just got your happy little ass beat."
  • Bob Ross opens his second verse speaking with pride and patriotism about his military career... then does a goofy little dance.

Michael Jordan vs. Muhammad Ali

Ebenezer Scrooge vs. Donald Trump

  • "I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair!"
  • "You should have made like Sebastian and kissed de girl!" Because who expected a Little Mermaid reference from these guys?
  • At the end of the video, Scrooge was about to say Tiny Tim's closing line, but is soon cut off by the announcer.
  • Donald Trump calling his ex-wife ugly and compares Scrooge to his wife in a bikini since they're both disgusting.
  • While the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is otherwise the biggest Knight of Cerebus in the series, his appearance gives us this gem. "Boo." "AAH!"
    • Yes, the nonchalant way he says "You're gonna die!" is scary as fuck. It's also funny as hell.
  • "I got my own f***g problems"
  • Kanye. Really, who saw that coming?

Rick Grimes vs. Walter White

  • Yep, even in a rap battle, Rick has to yell at Carl to stay inside.
  • "You look up to me like I'm a pizza on the roof!"
  • "I'll be standing right here, in my tighty Walter Whities"
  • Blink and you'll miss it: after Walter distracts a walker with a bag of meth, in his last shot you can see the same walker tweaking in the background. He got a dead man high.
  • "No one saw Shane coming, except for your wife."
  • From the BTS video, Peter tells Lloyd that the heroin joke did not make it. What the follows is an extremely melodramatic funeral for the joke with the walkers mourning and Lloyd crying.
  • Walter keeps making loud throat noises. While that's a little funny in and of itself, it's all the funnier due to the fact that it sounds like he has a phlegm problem.

Superman vs. Goku

  • Superman's first diss:
    Who can stop this constipated jock
    With the awful animationnote  and the complicated plot?
  • "Your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes: just one punch - and OVER NINE THOUSAND SCREAMS!"
  • "I'll make your nose bleed like Roshi sniffing panties!"
  • This line comes up that would not be out of place in =3.
    Look at those panties (Oh!)
    You got that camel(toe!)
    I'll report to Lois Lane
  • The battle ends with perhaps the nastiest joke ever cracked on the series:
    ''There's only one way this battle's gonna end; one more Superman who's never gonna walk again!.

Stephen King vs. Edgar Allan Poe

Sir Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye

  • Newton's First Line:
    Of all the scientific minds in history,
  • Bill Nye's walk after his line, "hitting my stride," is quite humorous.
  • During Neil deGrasse Tyson's closing verse, Bill Nye's movements are nothing short of hilarious.
    • Almost every movement in this battle is a funny background event. Apart from the above examples with Nye, we have Newton pushing himself out of the way, and later sharing a verse with one of his doubles, who also nods an agreement with his own lines. Finally, when Neil deGrasse Tyson appears out of Newton's equation Newton slowly turns sideways as he notices with a rather downplayed Oh Crap! reaction
  • From the BTS, Chali 2na's poignant description of his son's reaction.

George Washington vs William Wallace

Artists vs TMNT

  • The turtles' verses are chock full of hilarity.
    • Leonardo mimimg a hellicopter
    • Raphael referring to himself as a "cool but rude guy", like in the cartoon them song.
    • Donatello's Gattamelata pun
  • The face Artist!Raphael makes in his title card. It's exactly what you would expect from Anthony.
  • The first words out of Artist!Leonardo's mouth are hilariously out of place.
    "Cowabunga, dude."
  • Apparently Artist!Donatello found enough time to make and put the finishing touches on Gattamelata during the Turtles' verse.
  • "You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer!"
  • If Artist!Raphael's "Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned till I croaked" line doesn't make you laugh, him crossing himself before going for a pelvic thrust will.

    Season 4 

Ghostbusters VS Mythbusters

  • Jamie being The Stoic in contrast to Adam. No Sense of Personal Space moments included. Then, even better, him dancing alongside Adam with the same deep voice and cold expression.
  • Janine's three-word cameo- " WE GOT ONE!" It comes out of nowhere but fits perfectly.
  • Egon's three lines in the first verse (with Winston's Shout-Out from the movie!)
    Ego: I collect spores.
    Winston: Tell him about the Twinkie.
    Ego: Like your show, it's all fluff and filler. I'll kick your hiney, man— I'm a savage killer.
  • When talking about a "safety switch", Adam and Jamie do pelvic thrusts.
  • Pausing at just the right moment reveals this Freeze-Frame Bonus of Adam's face
  • "That's enough from the walrus and Dickless the Clown!"
  • Grant says they "come harder than Ray when that ghost popped his cherry". Next scene we see is Ray being held back by the other Ghostbusters.
  • Tory fails to think of a rhyme and just goes "Uhhhh..."
    Jamie: ...why'd you stop?
    Tory: I couldn't think of a rhyme!
    Adam: Well just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
    Ghostbusters: (waving their arms back and forth in a "NO NO NO!" fashion)
  • The faces on the Ghostbusters as Adam tells Tory to say the first thing that pops into his mind— while the Mythbusters, who don't believe in ghosts, don't know where that kind of thing goes, the Ghostbusters are perfectly aware, and are proven right when Stay Puft shows up to the fight.
  • This bit as Stay Puft shows up:
    Stay Puft: Yo, raise up! It's Stay Puft, I stay fluff! Blaze chumps and flip Kari butterside up!
    Kari: (highly pissed off) Hey!
    Stay Puft: I smother Ghostbusters in fluffernutter, I don't play; show these dweebs how to rock a beret!
    Jamie: (kind of a little bit irrtated) Hey.
  • The fact that Stay Puft's voice is a dead on impression of Biggie Smalls.

Bonnie and Clyde vs. Romeo and Juliet

  • Everybody dies. We probably should have seen this coming.
    • Romeo promises to lie on his stomach so Bonnie and Clyde can lick his ass. Later, we see his corpse with his butt raised in the air, and Juliet screams about Romeo having poison on his face even though she can only see his backside. That's quite some mileage out of one joke about behinds.
  • The Announcer's absolutely lost reaction at the end of the battle; instead of a boisterous "WHO WON?!" it's this softer and confused "who won...?"
  • The poison line is priceless in and of itself, especially with how it's suddenly just SCREAMED.
    Juliet: Where's Romeo? OH NOMEO! There's poison on your face!
  • Bonnie making light of Mercutio's death at the hands of John Leguizamo.
  • Bonnie and Clyde's reaction to Romeo and Juliet killing themselves.
    Bonnie: It's kinda sad though, really, so young, to have just died...
    Clyde: Well, at least we got each other.
    Bonnie: Just Bonnie
    Clyde: And- *RATATATATATAT*
  • Nice Peter attempts a horrible English accent and Grace Helbig barely even tries to do one most of the time. It ends up being hilarious.
  • There's something incredibly hilarious about the combination of Shakespearian insults combined with more modern cracks.
    Romeo: Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, should I draw my longsword, or will you duck your chicken-shit ass back into your Ford?
    Juliet: A moment break from your gaze is an eternity past, so together we shall both put these bitches on blast!
  • How Bonnie perks up after Clyde says they'll rob R&J blind. Outlaw Couple, ladies and gentlemen!
  • The Meta humour of Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart, who are great friends in real life threatening to kill each other is pretty funny. You can imagine they both had a blast with filming.

Zeus vs Thor

  • This is a battle between two thunder gods...depicted in the medium of Lego bricks. "Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants" are hilariously wrong when the characters are basically made of children's toys.
  • When Thor knocks the Jotun off the rainbow bridge it lets out the Wilhelm Scream.
  • Zeus talks up Greece's historical accomplishments. Thor later retorts:
    Thor: "I'll drop you like Greece's GDP!"
  • Zeus tells Thor "Loki must've written your lines!" Loki's reaction suggests he did.
  • We may have found the most disgustingly hilarious mythology joke ever told:
    Thor: (to Zeus) Now make like your daddy, AND SWALLOW MY BABIES!
  • The end of Thor's first verse:
    Thor: I'd spit in your face, but you'd probably like it!
  • One of the Olympians accompanying Zeus is actually Bombur.note 
  • When Zeus brings up astronomy, the star chart in the sky shows the usual ones like Leo, Cancer and Sagittarius, the lesser-known but legit rabbit constellation, along with giant sunglasses, what looks like Pharell Williams' hat, the duck from "The Duck Song", young Simba, and Forrest Fire's (the animator of this battle) big "F" logo.
  • What's going on in the background of Asgard? We have waving pennants, a sword being forged, and Loki happily spending the whole battle doing a silly dance.
  • "And tell your three-headed bitch I said hi!" Cue Cerberus barking.

Jack The Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter

  • Hannibal tells Jack to shut up about himself in a very...blunt fashion.
    Hannibal: Quit jacking off on the track and 'put the lotion in the basket!
  • For an otherwise dark battle, this line is very out of place.
    Hannibal: The thought of your putrid flesh makes me want to shiver, cause your British body's covered in more piss than kitty litter!
  • Hannibal works quite a few Breaking Speeches into his raps. One of the funnier ones is after Jack brings up the 7/7 London bombings at the end of his second verse.
    Hannibal: No, no, Jack! You were doing fine, until your ham-fisted attempt at a terrorist line!
  • One of the anachronisms of the rap, courtesy of Jack's first line:
    Jack: Oi, mate! Pass the liquor! It's Jack the Ripper! Jack the rapper, following you way before the dawn of Twitter!

Oprah vs Ellen

  • The little mitten ditty Epic Lloyd does in the BTS video. He's out and about in a snowy forest, complaining about the winter chill and claiming the "frosty LA has his hand tootsies chilly." Each detail begins with a "What?!" and the mitten details pile up...until he finds out that the "snowy forest" isn't real.
    Epic Lloyd: What? None of this is real?!
  • The battle was uploaded earlier than usual on release day... with a description that shows how exhausted the ERB team was at the time of release.
    It's late.
    Lauren Flans.
    November Christine.
  • The announcer, post battle:
    Who won? Who's next? You decide! You decide! You decide! You decide! You decide!
    • More comments show up as the announcer keeps continuing, most of them aren't for the battle, and some of them aren't even suggestions for battles. Including:
    Thanksgiving vs. Christmas
    sir mix a lot vs. hello kitty
    how i meeth your mother vs. the big bang theory
    Actually its not so bad

Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock vs Quentin Tarantino vs Stanley Kubrick vs Michael Bay

  • Throughout the whole song, every verse makes at least one Take That at Michael Bay. So for the last verse, Bay shows up to fire back.
    Spielberg: I rock the Academy, and the DGA; you rock as many Oscars as that schlep, Michael Bay!
    Hitchcock: My skill is enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance; you're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers!
    Tarantino: Due to War of the Worlds, a failure's what I label you; it looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do!
    Kubrick: Like Clockwork, make you all hurt; beat Spielberg The Color Purple! A.I. is the worst waste of potential since the Ninja Turtles!
    Bay: That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you! Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do?

  • Spielberg tells Hitchcock to "kiss his full moon" while pulling down his pants and turning around. Hitchcock then dismisses his verse as a "close encounter of the turd kind".
  • Michael Bay rides in on a helicopter at sunset, one of the things that constantly shows up in his works, and is extremely blatant about what motivates him.
    Bay: If there's one thing that I've learned, bitch, this game is about MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!
  • Bay's profile close-ups are ridiculous even with everything else going on with him.
  • Bay's introduction: low angle, slow motion, camera spinning around him as he rises. In other words, a Michael Bay-esque shot so perfect you can't help but laugh.
  • Bay's line: I ain't got that guilt money, I don't give a fuck! I take my checks to the bank and I sign 'em with my nuts!
  • Hitchcock breakdancing. The very idea is a gutbuster, but you get to watch him do it. And he is awesome.
    • Even apart from the breakdancing, Hitchcock's entire verse is full of awesomely funny moves.
  • When Tarantino calls War of the Worlds "sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do," Spielberg's looks like he's about to object, but then make a "Yeah, I guess you're right" expression.
    • His opening lines as well:
    Tarantino: CUT. Gimme a Tylenol
    Stop rhyming, y'all
    Alfred, you've got no style, dawg;
    I'm the King of Dialogue
    There's only one movie that I know you from
    And I've seen more blood in the shower when I stubbed my toe in one
  • Spielberg clasping his arms together and waddling.
  • Tarantino pretending to check his watch while waiting through Kubrick's verse.

Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted

  • Both the lines as well as Tednote  and Billnote 's reaction to them makes this particular moment hilarious.
    Clark: Did you hear that, Meriwether?
    Lewis: I think they mean to brawl!
    Clark: I'll take Neo.
  • Who'd've thought they'd ever hear Rhett and Link call someone a dickweed?
  • Sacagawea wrestling a bear and killing it.
  • Lewis and Clark compare the tiny fish they caught...and Sacagawea just rolls her eyes and holds up her huge fish!
  • Lewis and Clark threaten to walk all over Bill and Ted, but that's not all:
    Lewis & Clark: Then give 'em back a whole stack of maps and accurate charts
    Lewis & Clark:Showing exactly where our footprints on their buttocks are marked!
  • Picturing Bill and Ted as Companions is hilarious.
    "You're worthless, your future selves should have told you that! Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back!"
  • This battle marks a rare occasion where the opponents agree on something: Bill's stepmom is hot.

Harry Houdini vs David Copperfield

  • Criss Angel tries to join the rap battle, only to be immediately rebuffed:
    Houdini: And you can't hide shame with a camera angle.
    Criss Angel: Did somebody say Angel?
    Houdini: No.
    Criss Angel: (Dejected) Oh. *Floats off screen*
  • This line from Houdini:
    Houdini: Eh, your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarassing./You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering!

Robocop vs The Terminator

  • There's a bit of Freeze-Frame Bonus hilarity in the battle. Robocop's directives at one point appear as thus:
    1: Serve the Public trust.
    2: Maximize blood squibs
    3: Defeat all sucker Emcees
    • Then in a later moment Robocop repeats the famous "secret Prime Directive" moment from the movie, but with a twist:
    Robocop: OCP gave me the skills to wreck this, I can't help if I'm fresh, It's my Prime Directive!
  • Similarly, we briefly see the T-800's interface as he analyzes his enemy:
    Spread Pattern - Predictable
    Tag line - Limp delivery
    Firepower - Cool in the 80's, maybenote 
    Analysis: WEAK
  • During The Terminator's first verse, he claims that Robocop's balls were left off during his reconstruction. Then, he does a pitch-perfect impersonation of Murphy's wife
    Terminator: (As Ellen Murphey) "I still love you, Alex." (As himself) BULLSHIT!!!! Your sex life is terminated!
  • Most fans notice that, for some reason, Peter's Robocop voice sounds like an auto-tuned Joe Swanson
  • The Terminator's facial expressions while rapping are nothing short of hilarious. Especially "Based on my detailed analysis of the lyrical structure of battle raps, it's time for your next shit verse, and then…I'll be back!"

Philosophers East vs West

  • When the Western philosophers start squabbling, Sun Tzu can be seen creeping up and spying on them, as well as peeking around a corner, evoking this old meme. Not to mention him practically dancing up behind them a la man-with-chair to take a picture while Voltaire's trying to get Socrates to lay off of Nietzsche.
  • Similar to the surprising Soulja Boy reference in "Superman vs. Goku", when Lao Tzu gets angry when Sun Tzu insults him:
    Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way!
  • Voltaire's shocked reaction when Confucius insults his "egg noodle hair".
    • Same to Nietzsche's look of embarrassment when Confucius asks if God died of shame when he made his mustache.
  • The ending has lots of these
    Narrator:(Instead of his usual outro) What. Is. Winning? Who. Is. Next?
    • Even more so, The Narrator gets so annoyed at their loud squabbling that he even interrupts his own Signing Off Catch Phrase just to tell them to shut up.
  • Confucius's final line deserves mention for sounding like he's quoting himself while simultaneously grabbing his junk when saying it.
    Confucius: Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cooooookies!
    • Also, the ridiculous facial expressions he makes both here and in his silent closeup.
  • The point where the eastern philosophers start infighting:
    Lao Tzu: We must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty.
    Sun Tzu: (UGGH!!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, but you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!
    • Doubly hilarious that Sun Tzu sounds exactly like a typical Chinese teenager getting into their fight with their elders.
      • Triply hilarious since Sun Tzu missed Laozi's point, that being that if the eastern philosophers had just remained quiet, then they would have been the undisputed winners.
  • The Eastern Philosophers kowtowing with their works is hilarious, as is Socrates flexing during his next verse and a brief shot of Sun Tzu, Lao Tzu and Confucius all stroking their magnificent beards.
  • Voltaire's last verse:
    Let me be frank!
    Don't start beef with the Frank!
    Who hangs with B. Franks!
    Giving ladies beef franks!
  • Socrates' line "Sun Tzu, I'll be taking apart your Wu with my Method..." Then he turns his head and winks as he says "Man!"

Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar

  • Caesar slam dunking in the background of his first verse.
  • Caesar in the foreground silently shimmying across the screen while staring into the camera while the Caesar in the background raps during his first verse is somewhat creepy yet hilarious.
  • In the Behind the Scenes, Lloyd portrays his Roman soldier as incredibly whiny. After we've been treated to a few scenes of this, Peter snaps and tells him, "That character is the worst! It makes everything else you've done less funny because of how bad it is!"
  • Starting Caesar's first verse. It's the nonchalant stoicism that sells it.
    You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper.
    I heard you had poison spit: where was it in this cypher?
  • Starting Shaka's second verse:
    Right, I've heard of your play. Tell me, how does it end?
    Oh, yes: You get stabbed many times by your friends!
  • The look on Shaka Zulu's face as Ceasar mentions his legions "spank[ing him] in [the] chest". Not that he's threatened by Ceasar's threat, but the fact that he used "spank" as a way to describe his attack.

Stan Lee vs Jim Henson

  • Walt Disney interrupting everything to yell at them to get back to work.
  • Stan Lee says he misses Jim Henson and that Jim died way too soon. Jim's answer?
    Most of the internet thought that you died twelve years ago.
  • After Jim's first verse, Stan Lee brings out a puppet of his own to deliver some of Stan's next lines.
  • Jim sets up the barbs, but Kermit delivers them in the early part of the battle.

    Season 5 

George R. R. Martin vs J. R. R. Tolkien

  • Martin claims that his readers love every character he's written... and then he mentions killing them off, casually turning around to demonstrate. Followed by his high-pitched impression of his readers' "No he didn't!"
  • Tolkien's line about the initials:
    Tolkien: You're a pirate, you even stole my R. R.!
  • Just how fired up Tolkien is throughout the entire battle.
    Tolkien: We all know the world's full of chance and anarchy.
    So yes, it's true to life for characters to die randomly.
    But news flash, the genre's called FANTASY!
    It's meant to be unrealistic, YOU MYOPIC MANATEE!
  • Martin forming an HBO logo with silhouettes, with the blink-and-you-miss-it caption "Dope Ass Programming".
  • Another blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment; when Martin is sitting at his computer, he's not typing anything at all. He's playing Zork.
    • At the very, very beginning, too: at the house with the mailbox.
  • On Martin's line "Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies", a second Martin pops up in the background staring at the camera with a perverse grin, punctuated with a growly "yeah!"
  • When Michael "Mikey" Walsh of the Goonies shows up with Danaerys Targaryen, they exchange a look. Danaerys looks contemptuous and somewhat repulsed. Mikey just looks awkward and embarrassed.
  • George R.R. Martin finishes his rap by tea-bagging the camera.

Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child

  • The rather casual way the rap starts, apparently following one of Gordon's shows.
    Gordon: (to a camera) -and that's how you make a perfect risotto.
    (turns to the viewer) Right. (reads off of a clipboard) Mrs. Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table.
  • Gordon's ridiculous spate of shows, including "Street Noodler," "Quiche Rescue" and "Cooking With Pebbles."
  • Julia Child rapping in that trademark voice, expectedly Sophisticated as Hell and unexpectedly hilarious.
    "You scream at women, but the fits that you're pitching
    Make YOU the pissiest bitch in the kitchen!"
    • "Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me. Now eat a dick! (raises a wine glass) Bon appétit!"
  • When Ramsay shows off a blue jacket to tell her to take it, there is a Beat... which leads to a rather awkward pause as Child tries to lean forward to see if he was gonna say something... and then he shouts in her ear, making her flinch a bit.
    • The burger being flipped during the beat has the Epic Rap Battles of History logo on it, which might dupe first-time viewers into thinking the battle's about to end. And then:
    "... now give it back and FUCK OFF!"
    • That whole segment is actually a parody of Ramsay's show Hell's Kitchen, which is prone to cliff hangers (Gordon makes a huge dramatic statement, followed by a shot of the Hell's Kitchen logo on a piece of food or kitchen utensil) and fakeouts.
  • When Julia is cutting into a piece of lard, she gets the bigger chunk and casually puts it on some toast.
  • At another point, she has about four good-sized yellow onions on a cutting board, and she's holding a knife. As the camera closes up on her face, she's chopping (below camera) as a flurry of onion skins fly up. Cut back and ALL the onions are perfectly diced... in less than two seconds! Now that's some serious chopping skill.
    • She then proceeds to season them with a ridiculously huge pepper mill.
  • The Hell's Kitchen sous-chefs chant "YES, CHEF!" to support Ramsay's insults. But when he says "You call these lines raw?" They chant "NO, CHEF!"
    • Not just a clever pun, but (literally) raw food is one way to set Ramsay off.
  • One of the sous-chefs is running across the background with a handful of cooked spaghetti.
  • Julia cuts a fish during her first verse. Near the end of one of her lines ("enough stuff to justify getting rough/with the butter-loving queen of the bourguignon boeuf!"), she cuts it hard enough to send the front half of the fish flying offscreen.
  • Background Julia's face when she says "Sous vide!" is noteworthy among all of her other, quite frankly deranged facial expressions.
  • Gordon Ramsay himself has seen it. "It's hilarious."
  • Julia Child is merry and upbeat throughout the video... but even so, she comes across as more and more deranged in a way that's both hilarious and vaguely disturbing.
  • Julia's trademark mallet-strike sign-off is done with a hilariously gigantic mallet.

Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson

  • Thomas Jefferson's "I told King George he could eat a fat dick" is already profane enough to sollicit a few chuckles, but Jefferson punctuates this line with a silly dance that ends with him double-pointing at his crotch.
  • Douglass says that Jefferson's face on Mount Rushmore is nothing to look at, taking out seven pictures of himself to compare. At that point, each portrait turns to face Jefferson as he delivers his line, "Now that's real muggin'!".

James Bond vs Austin Powers

  • Just the fact that Sean Connery!James Bond interrupted the rap battle between Daniel Craig!James Bond and Austin Powers... and proceeds to derail the video into a New!Bond vs. Old!Bond battle, with Austin being unable to reenter the rap.
    • Austin tries to save face after the intrusion:
    Austin Powers: Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap, please?
    Connery!James Bond: (backhands him across the face) Rap these, you velvety hack!
    Austin Powers: Jeez...
  • At the end of the battle, Austin Powers is just looking between the two Bonds with the silliest expression on his face.
    • The huge grin that Austin breaks into after Connery!Bond slaps the piss out of Craig!Bond is equally hilarious.
  • Bond brings up the Swedish-made penis enlarger, to which Austin predictably tries to interrupt to insist it's not his.
  • Old!Bond shows up wearing his duck hat.
  • In a bit of Hypocritical Humor, what sets Connery!Bond off is the accusation of him not being English by Craig!James Bond... when You Only Live Twice and Skyfall have established that James Bond is Scottish by birth.note 
  • Compared to the more title sequence-esque visuals in his first verse, Bond's second verse has a much sillier background, with palm trees flopping back and forth after zooming in screen, and bikinis flying around randomly.

Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner

  • Hulk may not get very many lines, but with what he's given he delivers one of the funniest verses in all of ERB:

  • Banner's no slouch when it comes to funny jabs:
    I hear you're good at running; you're just like the Flash
    Especially in the 100 meter ditch-your-wife dash!

  • And how Caitlyn Jenner closes the battle:
    Examine this under your microscope:
    You got no neck but you still fucking choked!
    After battling me, you're gonna always be pissed,
    So the Hulk will stay forever; neither Bruce will exist!

Ivan the Terrible vs Alexander the Great vs Frederick the Great vs Pompey the Great vs Catherine the Great

  • Ivan goes for killing his opponents off instead of matching verses with them. It quickly goes into Black Comedy territory.
    • Of particular note is Frederick the Great. Ivan gets him a seat and tries to garrote him while he's sitting... only to realize that Frederick had already dropped dead.
    Ivan: Hm. My expectations were a lot higher, but at least I saved the rubles on the garrote wire.
    • Followed by Ivan singing merrily in such an atonal way.
    • Ivan expressions during this part are especially hilarious, going from "gaping fish shock" to crazy glee.
    • "Why don't you drop dead Fred!?". Just the idea alone that Ivan knows a movie like that is hilarious.
  • When Ivan boasts about being the first tsar, everyone in Rasputin vs. Stalin shows up behind him...including Pewdiepie as Mikhail Baryshnikov, dancing and tipping over, almost falling.
  • Ivan boasts that "no 'Great' can beat [him]." Cue Pompey cutting into the battle... for about three seconds before he gets decapitated by Catherine.
  • In a blink and you miss it moment, the handles of Catherine's garrote are shaped like penises, in reference to her extensive collection of phallic furniture.
  • Ivan is so hilariously Obviously Evil (including his lighting) that he makes previously portrayed evil characters look downright subtle.
    • They seem to lampshade this when Ivan goes to kill Frederick with the garrote... as he's doing it, Ivan looks directly into the camera with a glee so over-the-top that it's practically screaming "I am evil, hear me roar!"
  • Whilst Ivan seems more inclined to actual physical murder than metaphorical, he still gets a few funny lines, such as presenting Catherine with a horse as a tribute because 'he hears she likes the saddle.'

    Bonus Battles 

Deadpool vs Boba Fett

  • Deadpool's character is spot on. His voice is the same perfectly annoying pitch as in his TV and movie appearances (except when he does impressions of both Elvis and a carnival barker, which are also hilarious).
  • Deadpool counts Boba's feeble scream as he fell into the Sarlacc as one of his five "lines."
  • When Boba Fett says the line "I only need five lines, cause I look fucking great," he settles into a cheesy looking victory pose you can't help but laugh at.
    • The beat also incorporates little typewriter-like ding!s...and one goes off right at the aforementioned pose.
  • Deadpool's speech bubbles even get in on the action after Boba Fett calls Deadpool a schizophrenic.
    Yellow Text Box: Who ya calling schizophrenic?! You've got two different voices!
    Deadpool: You're like your holiday special, man;
    White Text Box: Full of bad choices.
  • Deadpool says that Boba's missile backpack would make him alright... "If a fucking bird attacks," complete with waving his hands to imitate a bird's flight.
    • Boba doesn't even bother to respond to this verbally, but when the two are attacked by their enemies towards the end he dispatches his with a missile from the pack without even looking at them.