"Well, perhaps I can guess a little," said Mr. Pond modestly. "But that's only because I've kept in mind what we said at the beginning — about the misleading way in which things remind us of romantic things; only they are never rounded off like the romance. You see, the trouble is that, when a real event reminds us of a novel, we unconsciously think we know all about it, because we know all about the novel. We have got into a groove or rut of familiar fiction; and we can't help thinking the groove runs forward and backward as it does in fiction. We've got the whole background of the story at the back of our minds; and we can't believe that we're really in another story. We always assume something that is assumed in the fictional story; and it isn't true. Once assume the wrong beginning, and you'll not only give the wrong answer but you ask the wrong question. In this case, you've got a mystery; but you've got hold of the wrong mystery."
— The Paradoxes of Mr. Pond, by G. K. Chesterton.
(Jesse starts levitating)
Gabe: "Whaaaaaat? Why are they just laughing about that?"
Eli: "Because this is his superhero movie! This is like- this is not a ghost movie, this is his superhero origin story."
Jacob: "Dude I'd love if this turned into Chronicle."
Gabe: "Whaaaaaat? Why are they just laughing about that?"
Eli: "Because this is his superhero movie! This is like- this is not a ghost movie, this is his superhero origin story."
Jacob: "Dude I'd love if this turned into Chronicle."
— Pretty Much It commentary on Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
"Wait! If we stand perfectly still, it won't see us! I Saw It in a Movie Once! [...] (robot fires, they narrowly dodge) I think that movie... Was about dinosaurs..."
— Lars, Steven Universe
Joe: Sometimes, the only way to deal with a madman is to send in another madman.
[beat]
Linkara: That's a stupid plan.
Joe: Exactly! A stupid plan for a stupid man.
Linkara: Are you high?!
[beat]
Linkara: That's a stupid plan.
Joe: Exactly! A stupid plan for a stupid man.
Linkara: Are you high?!
Rusty: You guys stole Pikachu and I'm here to rescue him. Bidoof, GO! Bidoof, use Bite!
(A Team Rocket Grunt pulls out a gun and shoots the Bidoof dead)
Rusty: What?! NO! That's cheating!
Team Rocket Grunt #1: Yeah. We're criminals. Duh. What was your plan here?
Rusty: Uh, I was going to defeat each of you sequentially in Pokemon battles and then you'd give up, and then give me my Pokemon back and maybe like some money or something.
Team Rocket Grunt #2: Wow. Dumb plan. Tony, kill him.
(A Team Rocket Grunt pulls out a gun and shoots the Bidoof dead)
Rusty: What?! NO! That's cheating!
Team Rocket Grunt #1: Yeah. We're criminals. Duh. What was your plan here?
Rusty: Uh, I was going to defeat each of you sequentially in Pokemon battles and then you'd give up, and then give me my Pokemon back and maybe like some money or something.
Team Rocket Grunt #2: Wow. Dumb plan. Tony, kill him.
— Pokémon Rusty Season 2, Episode 6: "The Newest Member of Team Rocket"
"Stories can be subtle and can take many forms, and they even seem to resent being exploited. A character who tries to cast himself as the Brave Peasant Lad Who Outwits The Troll may find that he’s actually one of the Twenty Poor Peasants Eaten By The Troll Before The Knight Comes Along. He might even end up as the Devious Little Human Squashed By The Troll Hero. (Troll fairy-stories aren’t especially subtle.)"
— The Discworld Roleplaying Game, on the dangers of playing with the Theory of Narrative Causality.
Rain: My hero. What's it like? Life as a spy, I mean.
Paris: (caught out) Classified.
Rain: Oh, right. I forgot. But you said 'secret' agent, and nobody says secret agent! And you do that a lot. You get things not quite right, like you don't belong here.
Paris: (caught out) Classified.
Rain: Oh, right. I forgot. But you said 'secret' agent, and nobody says secret agent! And you do that a lot. You get things not quite right, like you don't belong here.
— Star Trek: Voyager ("Future's End")
I'm telling you that you're in the wrong film, fatboy. You're not in the cowboy film you thought you were. This is a different kind of movie. And you're in the scene where the redneck shitkicker picks on the stranger in town, only it turns out to be Big Arnie or a gang of vampires. I bet you've seen that a million times, cowboy.
— King Mob kindly explaining the trope while threatening a Groin Attack, The Invisibles
T-Rex: Guess what, mom? I got a job I don't want as a florist today, entirely by accident!
T-Rex's mom: How come this sort of stuff happens to you, T-Rex?
T-Rex: MOM It's because I am trying to live in CARTOONS.
T-Rex's mom: How come this sort of stuff happens to you, T-Rex?
T-Rex: MOM It's because I am trying to live in CARTOONS.
Steve: Dude, she has a boyfriend. Telling her you're in love with her is kind of fucked up.
Sven: Why? I was just being honest.
Steve: Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
Sven: Whatever. I just don't understand why it didn't work. It's like in a Romantic Comedy. She's dating a jerk and I'm the good guy who finally comes clean about his feelings. She should've thrown herself at me!
Steve: Okay first of all Angus is a good dude. Second of all, this isn't a romantic comedy.
Sven: Why? I was just being honest.
Steve: Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
Sven: Whatever. I just don't understand why it didn't work. It's like in a Romantic Comedy. She's dating a jerk and I'm the good guy who finally comes clean about his feelings. She should've thrown herself at me!
Steve: Okay first of all Angus is a good dude. Second of all, this isn't a romantic comedy.
Sonic: When is it a mistake to take your toys away?
Eggman: When it's the only thing keeping six angry Zeti from controlling my mechs, you moronic hedgehog!
Eggman: When it's the only thing keeping six angry Zeti from controlling my mechs, you moronic hedgehog!
"What's she thinking? She's supposed to get angry and say 'No way!'"
"Acetic acid would conduct electricity better [than hydrochloric acid] because that would be a good reason to put it in the question."
— Tim's Chemistry Exam note
Booker T: Browski Boot? He just called it Woo Woo Woo!
Josh Matthews: No, he yells Woo Woo Woo before delivering the Browski Boot!
Josh Matthews: No, he yells Woo Woo Woo before delivering the Browski Boot!
— Friday Night Smackdown
"There's only one creature capable of making a footprint that size." *Dramatic Pause* "The abominable snowman!"
— Lumpy, King Kong (2005)
Brock Samson: *playing The Walking Dead* Ugh! These freaking zombies!
Brock Samson: How many times do I have to tell you, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
— Poker Night 2 teaser trailer.
"Life is not a song, sweetling. You'll learn that one day, to your sorrow."
—Littlefinger to Sansa Stark, A Song of Ice and Fire
Saba: Quick, Tommy! The circle on its chest! It must be the weak spot!
Tommy: Right! AYAAAH!
Tigerzord punches Epyon's chest.... to absolutely no effect
Zechs: Hmph. Don't get cocky.
Tommy: What? It didn't explode?!
Saba: Well, this defies all logic!
In their heads they think that they're the hero through and through
And not the schmuck who's gunned down in the middle of Act Two
So don't mention Montana or your grandmama at home
Or you'll just guarantee the happy hunting grounds you'll roam.
And not the schmuck who's gunned down in the middle of Act Two
So don't mention Montana or your grandmama at home
Or you'll just guarantee the happy hunting grounds you'll roam.
— Here's to the Heroes
, Terence Chua of Khaosworks.org
, Terence Chua of Khaosworks.org"He died? And this is supposed to be a kids' movie!"
— Rizzo, Muppet Treasure Island.
Sarah: Ow! She bit me!
Hoggle: What did you expect fairies to do?
Sarah: Like granting wishes.
Hoggle: Shows how much you know about fairies.
Hoggle: What did you expect fairies to do?
Sarah: Like granting wishes.
Hoggle: Shows how much you know about fairies.
Jim: I must have superpowers! Luckily, these reference materials have shown me how to get them!
Peter Puppy: Jim, those are my comic books!
Jim: So? Are you suggesting they are less than completely factual?!
Peter Puppy: No! I just don't want you to wreck them!
Peter Puppy: Jim, those are my comic books!
Jim: So? Are you suggesting they are less than completely factual?!
Peter Puppy: No! I just don't want you to wreck them!
—Earthworm Jim, "Bring Me the Head of Earthworm Jim"
"We're being cheated! I haven't had any scenes with my Hero yet! How can we develop a meaningful relationship, let alone a passionate sex scene in the first five chapters, if he's not even in this story?"
— Brigiditta, Queen of the Celts, Mathemagics, of the Chicks in Chainmail anthologies, by Margaret Ball
The funny thing is that it was a political move that I honestly think would've made some sort of sense in our cynical world but in Gurren Lagann's insane Universe it ended up making a fool out of Rossiu. In a world like ours this would be an undesirable and cruel, yet intelligent play. A display of utilitarian ethics that not many would argue would have an overall positive effect on the city's sociological state. But in Gurren Lagann, where you have things like Spiral Power, the improbable is possible and it is actually a logical thing to go for broke and try to save everyone and everything. And this is what Rossiu didn't understand. He was a realist living in an idealist world, sort of a mirror image of idealists living in brutal settings that we see in other works of fiction. You know that character from that story that you love whose ideals were unrealistically positive and not fit for the rigid world they lived in? note Think of Rossiu as the opposite of that kind of character.
Aleczandrxr, Gurren Lagann's Deceptive Maturity
Elizabeth: I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore, Captain Barbossa.
Barbossa: Aye. That's exactly what I thought when we were first told the tale... (The Reveal shortly after) You best start believing in ghost stories, Miss Turner... you're in one!
Time and again, some scenario will arise that is instantly recognizable from the likes of The Thing, Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, or The Day the Earth Stood Still, to which the human characters will react precisely according to the time-honored pattern of such films. The Martians, however, appear to be taking their cues from Woody Woodpecker, impishly exploiting the credulous seriousness of their hapless opponents. In fact, one gets the impression that the defenders of the Earth would fare better if they switched to more Lantzian tactics themselves— a supposition which the eventual revelation of the aliens’ weakness amply confirms.
Lenina: You’re better live than on laser disc! The way you paused to make a witticism before doing battle with that Scrap—
John: This isn’t The Wild West, okay?! The Wild West wasn’t even the Wild West. Hurting people isn’t good. Well, sometimes it is … but not when it’s people looking for food! […] I’m sorry I yelled at you.
Lenina: No need for a dehurtful retraction. I assimilated too much contraband. I fleshed you out as a blow-up-the-bad-guy-while-grinning type. But you’re the moody-gunslinger-who-will-only-draw-when-he-must type.
Guy: Listen, I’ll go in, create a distraction. Have this—may be able to hold them back long enough for the aliens to escape.
Fred: It’s suicide.
Guy: I’m a glorified extra, Fred. I’m a dead man anyway. If I’m going to die, I’d rather go out a hero than a coward.
Fred: Maybe you’re the Plucky Comic Relief. You ever think of that?
<<Darkman is holding Strack over the edge of a 40+ story construction site>>
Strack: Go ahead, do it, do it, Westlake. But think of this: you let me die, and you become as bad as me—worse! Haha, you can’t. I know you too well. Dropping me—it’s not really an option for you. It’s not something you could live with.
<<Darkman closes his eyes and lets Strack go>>
Darkman: I’m learning to live with a lot of things.
Strack: Go ahead, do it, do it, Westlake. But think of this: you let me die, and you become as bad as me—worse! Haha, you can’t. I know you too well. Dropping me—it’s not really an option for you. It’s not something you could live with.
<<Darkman closes his eyes and lets Strack go>>
Darkman: I’m learning to live with a lot of things.
— Darkman
Commander Badass: Yeah [GACKT] kinda... uh... infected me'n my bros with this whole Nomura virus thing so we uh... Figured we'd come beat 'im in hand t' hand combat t' reverse it...
Rain: Wait, you thought punching some jerk was going to make you healthy? That doesn't seem very reasonable.
Commander Badass Well I mean I know that now! S'just... y'know, normally that kinda thing ends up bein' th' reasonable course'f action in situations like this...
Rain: Wait, you thought punching some jerk was going to make you healthy? That doesn't seem very reasonable.
Commander Badass Well I mean I know that now! S'just... y'know, normally that kinda thing ends up bein' th' reasonable course'f action in situations like this...
Witchy-Poo: I chose this stupid mythology 'cause it was so bright and happy and silly... that way, maybe no one would get hurt...
Linkara: DEAR LORD AND HEAVENS! You really knew nothing about the Titans when you conceived this plan, did you?
Linkara: DEAR LORD AND HEAVENS! You really knew nothing about the Titans when you conceived this plan, did you?
I'm sorry—I know we get together like this every few months to avert some global crisis or fight some enormous bad guy—I get it. That's what we do. But I think you guys are treating this like another Kree/Skrull invasion—or Thanos attacking! This is different! Look how many we've already lost and we're just now forming a game plan?! We're all dead! We're as good as dead!
—Nova, Marvel Zombies
Blackbeard: Ain't you learned from anime that you never interrupt a transformation sequence? Or an enemy's monologue? What did I even do to you?
Rikku: Anyone who lets you finish a "transformation sequence" deserves to be curbstomped, [and] talking is never a free action unless both sides are idiots.
Rikku: Anyone who lets you finish a "transformation sequence" deserves to be curbstomped, [and] talking is never a free action unless both sides are idiots.
"JUMANJI! Doesn't anything from the movies ever work?"
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, "Marge Simpson In: Screaming Yellow Honkers"
Mr. Krabs: Oh no! I've seen this on the late show. You ghoulish fiends hold me down and take turns nibbling on my innards. Then you eat my brain and leave my body for the buzzards!
Smitty: That's disgusting! We just want the hat back.
Smitty: That's disgusting! We just want the hat back.
— SpongeBob SquarePants episode "One Krab's Trash"
[Shaggy splashes water onto Sarah Ravencroft in order save Scooby, but nothing happens]
Sarah: [unimpressed] What was that?
Shaggy: You're not melting... Like, it worked in the The Wizard of Oz.
Sarah: [unimpressed] What was that?
Shaggy: You're not melting... Like, it worked in the The Wizard of Oz.
Gumball: Darwin, keep absolutely still. Her vision is based on movement.
Tina: That only works in movies.
Tina: That only works in movies.
Daniel: Jamie, what do you think?
Jamie: It's always the new guy, but it's always the saner one.
Hosuh: Oh, me?!
Jamie: It's always the new guy, but it's always the saner one.
Hosuh: Oh, me?!
— By the way, Can You Survive MAFIA?, Danplannote
Quintillius: Shut up, you idiot! Just kill him!
Tarvek: I have a gun.
Unnamed henchman: He does have a gun.
Quintillius: Bah! A miscalculated attempt to intimidate us! These continental science heroes are always wittering on about the sanctity of human life!
Unnamed henchman: Ooh, that's true! It's in all the books! DIE, OUTSIDER!
[FOOM!]
Tarvek: I've never really considered myself the "hero" type. Are you the "take his secrets to the grave" type? Just asking.
Tarvek: I have a gun.
Unnamed henchman: He does have a gun.
Quintillius: Bah! A miscalculated attempt to intimidate us! These continental science heroes are always wittering on about the sanctity of human life!
Unnamed henchman: Ooh, that's true! It's in all the books! DIE, OUTSIDER!
[FOOM!]
Tarvek: I've never really considered myself the "hero" type. Are you the "take his secrets to the grave" type? Just asking.
