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Film / Der Wixxer

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"Hello, this is Edgar Wallace his neighbor!"

In West Germany of the 1950s and 1960s, a popular movie series based upon the crime stories of British author Edgar Wallace, known as the Edgar Wallace Films, was produced, and it still has a cult following. Catering to this cult following (while still remaining funny for people not knowing these movies) the German comedians Oliver Kalkofe, Oliver Welke and Bastian Pastewka produced the Affectionate Parody Der Wixxer in 2004 and its sequel, Neues vom Wixxer, in 2007.

The dualogy deals with the Scotland Yard inspectors Very Long (Pastewka) and Even Longer (Kalkofe), who are trying to arrest a masked super-criminal known as the Wixxer.

These films provide examples of:

  • Adolf Hitlarious: The whole joke around Alfons Hatler is of course that he is suspiciously similar to a certain mid-20th century dictator.
  • Affectionate Parody
  • A Foggy Day in London Town: So foggy, it's inside the morgue it seems.
  • Ambiguously Gay: Sir John. While he does show interest in prostitutes, he also sculpts phalli in his spare time and seems to have gay friends.
  • Antagonist Title: Ditto.
  • Arc Words: "Rather Short is dead!"
  • Aristocrats Are Evil: The Earl of Cockwood, although he only got the title by marriage. Also Victoria Dickham in the second movie.
  • Art Shift: Everything is black and white in Blackwhite Castle and St. Vokuhila.
  • Autopsy Snack Time: The coroner Dr. Brinkman lets his little son (plus a bunch of other kids) have a birthday party in the morgue.
  • Bedlam House: The Bates Hospital
  • Bigger on the Inside: In the first movie, a tiny shack in the middle of a concrete field holds the enormous conference hall owned by the National Syndicate of Notorious Criminals.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Occasionally. For example, when Ms Drycunt says to the detectives, "It's a Long Story", Very Long points out that the viewers don't have that much time.
  • Britain Is Only London: Averted: Although many scenes take place in London (Scotland Yard being there and all), Blackwhite Castle and St. Vokuhila are clearly not in the inner city. This is lampshaded when Blackwhite Castle is described as "Not in London, but in England."
  • Buddy Cop Show: With Even Longer as the Straight Man and Very Long as the Plucky Comic Relief.
  • The Butler Did It: No, even though he looks like Hitler.
  • Casting Gag: Joachim Fuchsberger, who played the inspector in several of the old Edgar Wallace movies, is the retired policeman Lord Dickham in the second Wixxer-movie.
  • Chekhov's Gun: In the first movie, Very Long's yo-yo skills. In the second, the color switch in St. Vokuhila and the can of tomato soup worn by Scotland Yard policemen.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Particularly Very Long and Sir John are prone to that.
    Sir John: [looking at a pinboard with profile pictures, three of whom are grey placeholder silhouettes] And who are those three niggers? They all look the same...
    • And:
      Even Longer: Did you check the license plate?
      Doctor Brinkman: Yeah, sure, but... it's just painted metal, these are abundant. Almost every car has one of those.
  • Creator Cameo: In the sequel both directors appear as paramedics called to the Abbey.
  • Creator Provincialism: Although the story takes place in England, some jokes, most likely due to Reasons Of Funny, are quite German-specific. (Even Longer attended the Bundesjugendspiele??)
  • Da Chief: Sir John is a rather ditzy version of this.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Even Longer reigns surpreme.
  • Defrosting Ice Queen: Chief Inspector Even Longer. Still lukewarm at the end, but an improvement.
  • Decapitation Strike: It turns out it was Victoria Dickham's plan all along to blow up the entire British royal family during a wedding to catapult herself onto the throne. It is foiled by the protagonists via Wire Dilemma.
  • Deliberately Monochrome: Blackwhite Castle and St. Vokuhila. The latter is even a literal example within the story: The nuns living there don't like colours, therefore they have a switch for turning the colours on and off!
  • Driving a Desk: Combined with Stylistic Suck.
  • Every Car Is a Pinto: Bicycles and stair lifts can also be Pintos!
  • Face–Heel Turn: After killing the original Wixxer, Longer's old partner Rather Short decides to abandon his dull life as policeman in order to become the new Wixxer.
  • Fake Kill Scare: Rather Short fakes himself being blown up!
  • Fun with Acronyms: The villainous organisation from the first movie known as the National SYndicate of Notorious Criminals.
  • Good-Times Montage: Parodied in the first movie when Even Longer remembers his time with Rather Short.
  • Groin Attack: Via floor board.
  • Gun Twirling: Parodied - whenever someone tries it, they end up dropping their weapon.
  • Herr Doktor: By the time of the second movie, Hatler got a medical degree and now runs an insane asylum in Britain.
  • His Name Is...: Played for Laughs with the Earl of Cockwood offering to reveal the Wixxer's identity, only to proclaim with his last breath that he hasn't time for that anymore. In the sequel, Eddie the Informant is killed short of revealing Wixxer's whereabouts and Chucky Norris is accidentally hit on the head and drowns before revealing Wixxer's identity.
  • Hurricane of Puns: ANY name of any person or location. Aside of sexual allusions they also play with a German grocery store chain, hairstyles and whatnotever.
  • I Have Many Names: Harry Smearlap, otherwise known as Laus Linski (an allusion to Klaus Kinski), Fritz Carraldo or Horst Feratu (an allusion to Nosferatu).
  • Improbable Weapon User: Inspector Very Long uses a yoyo to attack the Wixxer at the end of the first movie (Well, he is the champion of a yoyo-derby!), and turns a blackboard-sized ruler and set square into a makeshift set of sword and shield, in the second movie... and even manages to break his opponent's sword with said ruler.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: So bad, it's funny. In "Neues vom Wixxer" Even Longer chases Chucky Norris and comes to signpost that points in two directions. They read "Moor" and "More Moor".
  • Innocent Innuendo:
    • When Mrs. Pennymarket tells Chief Inspector Longer about how pugs ("Möpse") are bred at Blackwhite Castle ("Möpse" is also slang for "boobs".)
    • And in another scene, Longer exclaims that he has a gigantic thing in his trousers! He means the poisonous snake someone has smuggled into his clothes.
  • Lampshade Hanging
    Very Long: Why did you run in slow motion, Sir?
  • Latex Perfection: Spoofed several times. In the first movie, the Wixxer wears the face of a well-known talk- and quiz-show host over his bulky expressionless skull mask. In the second movie, Even's brother Much Longer wears a mask that looks exactly like his own face, just with a moustache.
  • Lawyer-Friendly Cameo: Although being a human in a costume instead of a puppet (just like the homonymous Edgar Wallace character he is a parody of), the Frog with the Mask looks like Kermit, has the same voice actor as Kermit, and at one point even says: "Applause!"
  • Left the Background Music On: The Scare Chord when they find the Wixxer's logo on the truck was just the police's marching band that was on the scene.
  • Legacy Character: You could consider the Wixxer to be one: Within two movies, 4 different people have been under this mask.
  • Low-Speed Chase: The stair lift chase in Neues vom Wixxer.
  • Manchild: Very Long. That Pinocchio ice cream really is only the tip of the ice berg. note 
  • Meaningful Name/Stealth Pun: Ubiquitous. All the names: Very Long, Even Longer, Much Longer, Rather Short, Miss Minipony, Earl of Cockwood, Freddie Fartface, Cookie Dent (referring German dental maintenance brand Kukident), Harry Smearlap (pun on the German word Schmierlappen, meaning Greasy Slimeball), Der Wixxer (a pun on the German word "The Wanker"), Miss Drycunt, Pomeroy (Pommi) and Fitzgerald (Fritti) (a pun to Pommes Frites), Alfons Hatler, Miss Pennymarket (a pun on the discounter "Penny"; ironically, she was adopted by an owner of a corner shop), Lord Dickham, RIP (Rest In Pieces), Bates Hospital, and finally Vokuhila Monastery (pun on the abbrev. Vo.Ku.Hi.La.; the German slang term for mullet).
  • Medium Awareness: Some places are almost only shown in black & white. The characters are aware of this, and seem to regard this as a sign of the edifices being of old age and/or of the inhabitants being old-fashioned.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: The Monk With The Whip, The Fat Shark, The Frog With The Mask amongst others.
  • Motive Rant: After the Wixxer is finally unmasked in the first movie. Poor Even Longer...
  • Moment Killer: Very Long just doesn't know when to shut up.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: A chase scene with bicycles? Or stair lifts??
  • Newscaster Cameo: The Frog With The Mask in a tell-all interview with Günther Jauch.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Very odd example: Alfons Hatler.
    [Upon meeting Lord Dickham (played by Joachim Fuchsberger, who also starred in many crime movies, including 'Der Hexer')]:
    Even Longer: It is an honour to meet a man who personally caught The Squeaker.
    Very Long: It was Heinz Drache. (another German actor, who played the inspector in 'Der Zinker'/'The Squeaker').
  • Noodle Incident: Even Longer is wearing an artificial leg due to an escalator accident at Harrods.
    • And a steel plate in the head from the Bundesjugendspiele.
  • No OSHA Compliance: Having his kids over in the morgue for a birthday party wasn't Doctor Brinkmans brightest moment.
  • Parallel Porn Titles: The title alludes to the Edgar Wallace movie Der Hexer (The Warlock). See Xtreme Kool Letterz to learn more.
  • Parody Commercial: For annoying gag ring tones, useless SMS dating services and overprized mail-order CD collections.
  • Pocket Protector: Very Long, Lord Dickham, and presumably other Scotland Yard employees wear a can of tomato soup in their breast pockets, just for that purpose.
  • Punny Name: Almost everyone. A special mention goes to Harry Smearlap in the first movie. The character is a Shout-Out to Klaus Kinski's parts in the original Wallace movies. His aliases, as mentioned by Even Longer: Laus Linski, Fritz Carraldo and Horst Ferratu.
  • Retraux: Basically the reason why Blackwhite Castle and St. Vokuhila are in this movies (most scenes there are in black & white, like the early Edgar Wallace movies).
  • Retro Universe: Also when in colour, the movies try to aesthetically come close to the Wallace films of The '60s they are spoofing, via the costumes, cars, ect. Except when the Rule of Funny comes into play. Just one example: Dieter Dubinsky's allusions to the GDR in past tense would suggest the story being set at a time after 1989.
  • Rube Goldberg Hates Your Guts: Very Long and Dieter Dubinsky barely escape a Death Trap invoking this category.
  • Running Gag: "Wanna buy some roses? Hahaha."
  • Scotland Yard
  • Serious Business: How Monopoly is treated at the "Fishy Fingers".
  • Servile Snarker: Hatler's always in polite mode, and is also quite fond of calling people "Arschloch" (Asshole) the minute they turn their backs.
  • Shout-Out: Besides the old Edgar Wallace movies, allusions to many other films abound:
    • When Very Long is shot and Even Longer remembers how close they were together, all scenes with Indians are exact copies of corresponding scenes from the German adaptation of Winnetou, a cult movie series in Germany. Doubles with Fridge Brilliance, as these movies were also released in the 60s.
    • Hard to spot, but just listen to the few tacts of music that plays when special agent Inge Lenzen gets out of the miniature submarine.
    • When Longer confronts Harry Smearlap, the latter says he'd have prepared a cake if he knew Longer would be visiting that day, a reference to a popular song from the german version of Sesame Street, sung by Ernie to Cookie Monster.
    • Members of the National Syndicate of Notorious Criminals:
  • Smug Snake: Harry Smearlap. At one point he even strokes a real snake to emphasize that.
  • Soundtrack Dissonance: Adolf Hitler's doppelgänger singing "My Way" by Paul Anka. Compounds with Lyrical Dissonance.
  • Spaghetti Kiss: Almost happens in a flashback, between Even Longer... and Rather Short.
  • Stating the Simple Solution: Very Long absent-mindedly asks why the villains don't just shoot him while being chained to an elaborate Death Trap.
    Twins: But...we've set everything up now.
  • The Syndicate: Parodied with the National Syndicate of Notorious Criminals, the members of which are either parodies of characters from Edgar Wallace films (The Frog in the Mask, The Terrible Band, The Stupid Archer, The Colorful Black Abbot) or just plain nonsensical (the unnamed mime, The Arse with the Ears).
  • Taking the Bullet: Very Long sees the bullet shot at Even Longer, runs alongside the bullet, overtakes it, throws himself into the bullet's path, lands back onto the ground before the bullet even touches him, jumps again, and is finally hit by the projectile. All this of course in slow motion.
  • Unconventional Vehicle Chase: The first film features a multi-party chase with old, creaky bicycles. The sequel has a stairlift chase.
  • Wire Dilemma: Solved by switching to black & white, so that all the wires look the same.
  • Wretched Hive: The "Fishy Fingers" apparently. Both Sir John and Doctor Brinkman can be found there quite frequently.
  • Xtreme Kool Letterz: The title is a parody on Der Hexer (one x), one of the classic Edgar Wallace movies. Wixxer is a idiosyncratic spelling of Wichser (wanker).
  • Yo-Yo Time: Very Long's yo-yo attacks get this treatment, both for laughs and coolness.