Characters: Austin Powers Trilogy
aka: Austin Powers
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- Played By: Mike Myers
- Above the Influence: In the first film, Austin, for all his womanizing, turns down a kiss from Vanessa because she's drunk.
- Action Hero: He's a crack shot, a master martial artist, and saves the world for a day job.
- Badass: Austin really does prove that he's Britain's best when the chips are down.
- Berserk Button: Austin lost it when Dr. Evil killed Felicity. She got better, though.
- British Teeth: Has an unhygienic set of buck teeth. Vanessa tries to get him to use toothpaste.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Austin parodies James Bond by being very strange and silly. But at the end of the day, he is still a master spy and Action Hero.
- Butt Monkey: Austin is often on the receiving end of being embarrassed.
- Iron Butt Monkey: He takes quite a few severe beatings throughout the series but never suffers any major injury.
- Carpet of Virility: Austin's ridiculously hairy chest, which women improbably seem to love.
- Cartwright Curse: Vanessa is revealed to be a fembot to re-bachelor Austin at the beginning of the second movie with little recognition from the characters, and Felicity just disappears.
- The Casanova: No woman can resist his charms.
- Catch Phrase: "Groovy, baby," "Yeah, baby, yeah," "Very shagadelic," "What do you say, (woman's name)? Shall we shag now, or shag later?" and "Oh, behave."
- Chivalrous Pervert / Even Swingers Have Standards: While he is a sex maniac, he doesn't take advantage of drunk or married women. The latter of which is especially hard for him, since he was genuinely in love with Vanessa's mother.
- Comically Missing the Point: His knowledge of the 60s is rendered useless in the present day.
- Dude, Not Funny!: Said In-Universe by Austin in regards to his father writing off Austin's quite legitimate complaints about his parenting skills with a joke.
- Fetal Position Rebirth: Upon being defrosted in 1997.
- Goofy Print Underwear: His Union Jack underpants. Yeah.
- Human Popsicle: In the first film, to be un-thawed when Dr. Evil returns.
- Hurricane of Puns: Usually once per film, to the point of Overly Long Gag.
- Informed Attractiveness: Women fawn over him as the sexiest, most desirable man in the world. While Mike Meyers is not an ugly man, his costume and make-up as Austin make him quite repulsive.
- It's Personal: In the second film: "First he fought for the Crown, now he's fighting for the family jewels!" Dr. Evil takes his desire to get revenge against the International Man of Mystery one step too far and steals Austin's mojo, leaving Austin impotent. This blow below the belt (literally) motivates Austin throughout the film, furious that Dr. Evil would stoop that low and cause him to suffer erectile dysfunction.
- Kavorka Man: Whatever womanizing charms Austin is supposed to have in-universe aren't made very clear, since he is sub-par in looks and often obnoxious and annoying in personality.
- The Loins Sleep Tonight: In the second film, Austin suffers "performance issues." When Dr. Evil's spy, Fat Bastard, steals Austin's precious mojo (libido/sex drive) in 1969, Austin suddenly goes limp in the middle of sex with Ivana Humpalot and becomes impotent in 1999. He then travels back to 1969 to save himself from perpetual erectile dysfunction by retrieving his stolen mojo. His need to retrieve his mojo only intensifies when he falls in love with Felicity Shagwell, an American hippie/CIA agent, who idolizes the International Man of Mystery. Her interest in shagging Austin only increases his desire to regain his sexual performance.
- Loveable Sex Maniac: He's silly and zany and loves shagging.
- Memetic Sex God: In-universe, no woman can resist him, and they fall in line for a chance to share a bed with him.
- Mr. Fanservice: To all the women in the movies.
- Naked People Are Funny: Has no problems walking around nude in public. Usually with his naughty bits blocked from view by strategically placed objects.
- Not So Above It All: His suaveness and charm can go right out the window when he's really attracted to someone, causing him to lust after them as much as women usually lust after him.
- Parody Sue: Of secret agents in general.
- Parental Neglect: He accuses his father of this in the Goldmember song "Daddy Wasn't There."
- Sealed Good in a Can: When he was frozen.
- Twin Threesome Fantasy: With the Japanese girls from the third film.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: His character arc in the third film. For all he's done in life, even being knighted by the queen, his father is neglectful and doesn't respect him.
Austin's Female SidekicksMrs. Kensington, her daughter Vanessa (after Austin travels from 1967 to 1997 by means of cryonic freezing), Felicity Shagwell and Foxxy Cleopatra.
Parodies of "Bond girls" who usually disappear from the face of the Earth after just one movie. Played respectively by Mimi Rogers, Elizabeth Hurley, Heather Graham and Beyoncé.
- Played By: Elizabeth Hurley
- Action Girl: Austin's equal in ass-kicking and espionage.
- Brainy Brunette: She's very intelligent and is definitely believable as an elite secret agent.
- Defrosting Ice Queen: At first she's absolutely disgusted by Austin and is strict and professional. She gradually loosens up and comes to love him.
- Face-Heel Turn: She is revealed to be a Fembot at the beginning of the second movie. Exactly how that happened with no one noticing by then is anyone's guess.
- Girl of the Week: Parodied — she leaves the story early in the second film, and after a minute of despairing the loss of his wife and spy partner, Austin rejoices in being single again and happily embraces his old lifestyle.
- Though the series guide does mention she was the reason Felicity left him.
- In fact, Basil later mentions to Austin that "we knew all along." The topic is then dropped and never properly explained.
- Hand Cannon: Her Weapon of Choice is a Desert Eagle.
- Hellbent For Leather: In her Spy Catsuit.
- Male Gaze: Her initial introduction in the first film.
- Meganekko: Although she ditches the glasses without explanation after her first few scenes.
- Ms. Fanservice
- Spy Catsuit: Wears one near the end of the first film.
- Your Head Asplode: After The Reveal that she's a Fembot.
- Played By: Heather Graham
- Action Girl: Though not as much as Vanesa, Felicity is still an ass-kicker in her own right.
- Bare Your Midriff: In a couple of her outfits.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: She disappears in between the second and third films without explanation.
- All There in the Manual: The guide to the series explains she left Austin after realising he hadn't gotten over Vanessa.
- Distaff Counterpart: In some ways, she's a female version of Austin. She even has a female symbol medallion to co-ordinate with Austin's male symbol one.
- Girl of the Week: While Vanessa was written out, come the third film Felicity has simply vanished, and Austin never even mentions her.
- Groin Attack: She pulls it off on Fat Bastard when she kicks him in the "mommy-daddy button" near the end of the second film, causing Austin to lecture her:
- Austin: I don't care if he is evil, you don't give a man a shot in the pills. It's just not cricket, baby!
- Hero-Worshipper: She idolizes Austin and became a spy after learning about his exploits.
- Male Gaze: Her initial introduction in the second film.
- Ms. Fanservice: Her outfits are very skimpy and show a lot of skin. Being she's trying to seduce Austin from minute one, this is intentional.
- Punny Name: "Shagwell by name, shag very well by reputation."
- Put on a Bus: No mention of her is made in the third movie. However, at the end of the second film, there were two Austins. She probably went away with one of them.
- Revolvers Are Just Better: Her Weapon of Choice.
- Sexy Backless Outfit: Wears one mid-film to try and seduce Austin prompting him to squeeze a bottle of massage oil so hard it squirts out.
- Shaking the Rump: She does this during her first encounter with Austin, treating him to an up-close view of her grinding rear.
- She's Got Legs
- Shout-Out: She has hair like Barbarella.
- Thigh-High Boots: Part of her first outfit.
- What the Hell, Hero?: When she mocks Austin for losing his mojo. As Austin himself says "ouch baby, major ouch"
- Who Wears Short Shorts?: She wears a pair of skin-tight shorts for her first few scenes.
- Played By: Beyoncé Knowles
- Afro Ass Kicker: Her hairstyle. When she's forced to wear a wetsuit, she gets Compressed Hair that pops back into shape when she takes the suit off.
- Bare Your Midriff: In the majority of her outfits.
- Catch Phrase: "I'm Foxxy Cleopatra and I'm a whole lotta woman!," "You under arrest, sugar." "Shazaam!"
- Faux Action Girl: All she really does in this film is get kicked in the face by Goldmember.
- Girl of the Week: Austin's third. It's mentioned they met before and he broke her heart, but she still adores him.
- Ms. Fanservice
- Nice Hat
- Sassy Black Woman: By her own proclamation, "[she's] a whole lotta woman".
- Satellite Love Interest: Unlike Vanessa and Felicity, her role in Goldmember isn't as significant, due to the film being more about Austin and his father's relationship instead of Austin finding love.
- She Really Can Act: Beyonce's best acting role yet.
- She's Got Legs
- Shout-Out: She's based on Pam Grier, even her catchphrase "You under arrest, sugar."
- Token Romance
- Played By: Michael Caine
- Badass: Well, even though he only takes down two guards with a Judo Chop, he tells a third guard "Do you know how many men I've killed over the years?" The guard then voluntarily falls down on his own.
- The Casanova: Like Austin, he is a charming womanizer. Notable in that unlike Mike Meyers as Austin, Michael Caine's make-up does not hide his good looks and it's believable woman would desire him.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He let Austin down twice at the Academy and the Knighting Ceremony.Austin: (when he hears that Nigel was kidnapped) Oh! So, that's why my father wasn't at the Knighting Ceremony.Basil: Actually, he was kidnapped AFTER you were knighted.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Reveals to Austin that Dr. Evil is his brother Doug.
- Papa Wolf: He truly does love his son and will do anything to protect him. Both of them, in fact.
- Played By: Michael York, Eddie Adams (younger)
- Captain Obvious: Which causes Austin to say "Whoop-de-do, Basil."
- Catch Phrase: When asked "What's happening, Basil?", he would reply "A lot has been happening."
- The Comically Serious: Typically serves as the comedic foil to Austin and other characters in most of his scenes.
- Meaningful Name: Basil Exposition provides exposition.
- Mr. Exposition: Literally.
- The original script (and some deleted scenes) for the first film really ran with this, having Basil describe every little detail whenever he appeared.
- Only Sane Man: He recognizes how strange and annoying Austin can be, and occasionally tells him so.
- Punny Name
- Played By: Mimi Rogers
- Action Girl: She kicks just as much butt as Austin.
- Spy Catsuit: Wears one early in the first movie.
Number Three / The Mole
- Played By: Fred Savage
Dr. Dougie Evil
- Played By: Mike Myers
- Abusive Parents: Dr. Evil's ridiculously traumatic upbringing. He likewise is one to Scott, though it seems to flip-flop regarding the situation. In the third movie, Mini-Me gets a taste of this.
- Affably Evil: He's very humorous, tries very hard to be a Doting Parent and very Adorkable; in spite of being a Card-Carrying Villain.
- Austin, I Am Your Father: Played for Laughs in the second film, Dr. Evil makes this claim, then says he can't back it up. Played straight in the third film, when he's revealed as Austin's long-lost brother.
- Bald of Evil: Seems to be a side-effect of being evil, since Scott starts going bald when he embraces evil like his father.
- Berserk Button: Don't insult Scott or Mini-Me. Or upset Mr. Bigglesworth.
- Big Bad: In all three films.
- Bond Villain Stupidity: One of his defining traits; repeatedly lampshaded throughout the series.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: At the end of Goldmember, Dr. Evil says "Yeah, baby!" Everyone stares blankly at him, and he adds: "No? Just trying it on."
- Card-Carrying Villain: He is a perfect homage to his trope. Just look at his name for starters.
- The Casanova: After drinking Austin's mojo, he absorbs his sexual prowess and seductive skills, and manages to seduce Frau.
- Contractual Genre Blindness: Dr. Evil plays every villain trope he can just for the sake of doing it and is aware that it's expected of the villain, but is either unaware of or refuses to acknowledge that such acts are Bond Villain Stupidity. In the first film, he exercises No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Dine, and when Scott asks Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?, Dr. Evil mutters that Scott "just doesn't get it."
- The Ditz: The movies make fun of how stupid villains in spy movies are.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Ironically. He has no qualms with taking over the world or just outright destroying it (at least until the ending of Austin Powers in Goldmember), but when he meets Goldmember, the eponymous villain of the third movie, even he was disturbed by him and his actions ("How about 'no,' you crazy Dutch bastard!") He's also disturbed when Scott lets his Evil Laugh get away with him when he had Mr. Roboto eaten by laser sharks.
- Evil Eyebrows
- Evil Laugh: He loves giving these after dramatic moments and holding them out for long periods of time.
- Freudian Excuse: Played for Laughs. He was raised by Belgians, who raised him to be evil.
- Heel-Face Turn: In the third film.
- Human Popsicle: Like Austin, in the first film. He apparently does this again at the end of the first film, but is already un-thawed when the second begins.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He may be evil, but he does care about his son, despite their complex relationship.
- Man Child
- Papa Wolf: He is very protective of both Scott and Mini-Me.
- Precision F-Strike: Dr. Evil's response to being caught in the first act, before even getting started on his Evil Plan, is simply "...shit."
- The Reveal: He's Nigel Powers' son and Austin's brother.
- Sealed Evil in a Can: When he was frozen.
- Unstoppable Rage: After a Klansman calls Scott Evil a "freak" on The Jerry Springer Show, he goes ballistic. He ends up fighting even when being restrained by Steve Wilkos and the other members of security, and after seemingly calming down, he then rushes to attack him again (something that never happens on Jerry Springer). And then instigates a full-out brawl on the set. Eventually, he seems calmed down...until Jerry Springer tells security to get Dr. Evil out of the premises ("get this jerk out of here"), upon which his rage is reawakened and he starts fighting with Springer, eventually managing to smash a globe in the ensuing stage riot.
- Where Did I Go Wrong?: He asks this about Scott.
- You Have Failed Me: He punishes his minions by dumping them through a trapdoor to be burned alive. When he tries it again in the '90s, the unfortunate Mook is left alive but "very badly burned," and is finally dispatched by another Mook with poor aim. His botched execution is Played for Laughs.
- Played By: Verne Troyer
- Badass: He kicks Austin's ass in the second film.
- Bald of Evil: Just like the original.
- Big Little Man: His initial introduction in the second film.
- Butt Monkey
- Cloning Blues: Defied; he never shows any problems being a clone of Dr. Evil and loves him like a father. That is, until he's replaced by Dr. Evil's son Scott.
- The Dragon: To Dr. Evil.
- Groin Attack: He is prone to do this on two occasions. In the second film, he bites Austin in his junk, and in the third film, he accidentally sends a model meteor right into Dr. Evil's testicles. Way to go, A-Hole!
- Heel-Face Turn: In the third film in response to becoming The Unfavorite to Scott.
- Jerk Ass: He likes to flip people off and play cruel jokes on Scott.
- Mini-Me Can Breathe in Space: Mini-Me is ejected out into space unprotected in the second movie and survives completely unharmed.
- Pint-Sized Powerhouse: As shown in the second film when he gives Austin a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown on the moon. He even lifts Austin over his head and tosses him across a room with little visible effort.
- Toilet Humor: What he does to avoid suspicion in the third movie.
- The Voiceless: He doesn't talk apart from saying "Eeee!" and in the "Just the Two Of Us Song" in the second film, he lip-syncs "You and I" in a very deep voice.
- Played By: Seth Green
- Awesome McCoolname
- Bald of Evil: When he decides to become evil in the third film, his hair falls out.
- Butt Monkey: Often on the receiving end of Dr. Evil's verbal abuse.
- Catch Phrase: "I hate you". Most often directed at Dr. Evil.
- Dangerously Genre Savvy: He is not the idiot his father is—he is aware that Austin will escape his death traps, that Dr. Evil should just cut to the chase and kill Austin when he has the chance, and that his plans will blow up in his face. In the first film, he invokes Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him? when his father places Austin in a Death Trap, offering to get his own gun from his room and do it himself, but is shut down.
- Deadpan Snarker: Very deadpan in response to his father.
- The Dragon: Finally usurps Mini-Me in this role in the third film.
- Dragon Ascendant: The ending implies that with Dr. Evil turning good, Scott has taken control of his evil empire to continue fighting Austin.
- Girly Run: In the third film he runs out of a scene flailing his arms and legs. Dr. Evil immediately lampshades this trope to the rest of the cast present.
- Jerkass: Somewhat depending on the situation.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: The second film reveals he's actually Dr. Evil's love child with Frau.
- Only Sane Man: To an extent, him and Number Two. However, while Number Two is silently exasperated with Dr. Evil's idiocy, Scott is open in calling his father an inept moron with stupid plans.
- Stupid Evil: His Dangerously Genre Savvy decreases in the third film when he turns evil.
- The Unfavorite: After Mini-Me comes into the picture, he gets this from Dr. Evil.
- The Watson: In that he points out why Dr. Evil's plans are stupid and asks why he's not going with something more pragmatic and likely to succeed.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Zigzagged. In the first film, he hates Dr. Evil, having been raised by Frau and never knowing his father, and rejects his father's attempts to bond. In the second film, he tries to bury the hatchet and make amends, but Dr. Evil has Mini-Me at that point, the son he always wanted. In the third film, his turn to evil finally gets him Dr. Evil's respect, but then Dr. Evil performs a Heel-Face Turn and Scott declares his hatred for him again.
- Played By: Robert Wagner, Rob Lowe (young)
- Cut Lex Luthor a Check: He cares more for the success of the company than the schemes of Dr. Evil. He tries to betray him in the first film when he realizes a Stupid Evil man like Dr. Evil cannot thrive in the business world, but Dr. Evil attempts to kill him instead. From the second film on he tries to convince Dr. Evil to give up the supervillain life, since his perfectly legal public companies make him a comfortable millionaire, if only he would just stop squandering the money on schemes to take over the world.
- The Dragon: To Dr. Evil. While Mini-Me becomes his right-hand in the third film, Number Two is still central to his plans.
- Evil Counterpart:
- To Vanessa in International Man of Mystery. Like her with Austin, his primary role is to acclimate Dr. Evil to life in the 90's and try to point out that his views on evil are a bit outdated. Dr. Evil only occasionally listens.
- Also one to Basil across the series. Like Basil, he's Dr. Evil's adviser who gives him information about his plans and realizes how ridiculous Austin and Dr. Evil are. However, Austin actually appreciates Basil's help while Dr. Evil ignores and insults Number Two.
- Eyepatch of Power: It hides an x-ray device in the first film.
- Heel-Face Turn: Along with Dr. Evil, he turns good at the end of the third film.
- Hypercompetent Sidekick: To Dr. Evil.
- Pragmatic Villainy: The main reason why Number Two attempted to betray Dr. Evil was because he was nearly ruining his business after he returned.
- Professional Butt-Kisser: He's been like this to Dr. Evil since the Academy.
- Punny Name: He's a literal Number Two to the Number One, Dr. Evil.Austin: (when he is about to kill Paddy O'Brien, shoving his head into a toilet and making him drown in the water)) Who does Number Two work for?
- Sarcastic Devotee: He tries to be loyal during the first movie, and his older self barely appears in the second. By Goldmember, he's basically given up on Dr. Evil.
- The Smart Guy: He single-handedly builds up the corporates that fund Dr. Evil's projects.
- The Starscream: Attempted it near the end of the first movie but forgot about the booby-trapped chairs.
- Screw Yourself: In the deleted scenes of the second film with his younger self. Complete with...
- Took a Level in Jerkass: Retroactively; his thirty years-younger self from The Spy Who Shagged Me is noticeably more loyal to Dr. Evil than his older self.
- Unexplained Recovery: He is apparently killed at the end of the original film when Dr. Evil drops him into a fire pit. However, he returns for the sequels with almost no injuries.
- Villainous Friendship: The third movie reveals that the two met in Spy School and have been allies since then, though granted "friendship" is probably stretching things a bit.
- Played By: Mindy Sterling
- Almighty Janitor: Downplayed as she is a high-ranking member of Dr. Evil's organization, but still applies as despite her Undying Loyalty to him, she is probably the only one Dr. Evil is actually intimidated by and completely, unconditionally respects. Probably because they have feelings for each other.
- The Baroness: The Rosa Klebb type. She's a spoof of her, as a matter of fact.
- Evil Genius
- Gratuitous German
- Heel-Face Turn: Along with Dr. Evil, she turns good at the end of the third film.
- Mama Bear: Don't try to harm Scott in front of her. Both Mini-Me and Doctor Evil found that out the hard way. Later, it turns out she really is Scott's mom.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: She reveals to Scott in the second film he isn't a test tube baby, but her child with Dr. Evil.
- No Indoor Voice
- Suddenly Shouting: Her trademark. "Send in the Fem-BOTS!!"
- Villainous Friendship: One of the very few members of Dr Evil's organization he never once considers executing or turning on- a list that includes is right-hand man No. 2, his clone Mini-Me, and his own son Scott, whom she is fiercely protective of. In the second film they even become lovers, and it turns out she is protective of Scott because she is his mother.
- Played By: Mike Myers
- Big Eater: He has a buffet by his bedside while sleeping with Felicity.
- The Brute: Takes over Random Task's role in the second film.
- Catch Phrase: "I'm dead sexy."
- Child Eater / Eats Babies: Fat Bastard once ate a baby. And then he tries to eat Mini-Me because he looks like a baby.
- Fat Bastard: The Trope Namer.
- Fan Disservice: In the second movie, where he sleeps with Felicity. Send the Brain Bleach!
- And again in the third, when he becomes a Sumo wrestler.
- Freudian Excuse: He alludes to being bullied and mocked for his weight as a child, and in his depression and loneliness turned to eating, creating a vicious cycle. Subverted when his acknowledgement of this problem becomes an Ignored Epiphany, and he remains a Jerkass in the third film. He repeats the sob story there, implying he uses this trope to justify his behavior.
- Gass Hole: Is a fountain of Toilet Humor and a massive jerk.
- Heel-Face Turn: He stops being evil at the end of the third film and loses all his weight thanks to his Subway diet.
- I'm a Humanitarian: See Eats Babies.
- Monumental Theft: On Dr. Evil's orders, Fat Bastard in 1969 steals Austin's mojo, causing Austin to go limp in the middle of a shag in 1999. Austin's sudden erectile dysfunction leads to him traveling back to 1969 to reacquire his stolen sex drive.
- Psycho for Hire
- Wire Fu: He tries using this attack in the third film, to the point of being visibly held up by wires and calling attention to the people in the background holding him up. Unfortunately, one of the wires breaks halfway through and he's just left dangling in the air.
- Played By: Mike Myers
- Ambiguously Gay
- Autocannibalism: When he isn't collecting it in a box, Goldmember enjoys eating pieces of his own skin.
- Big Bad: Of the third film. He initially acts as a Big Bad Ensemble with Dr. Evil, then becomes the sole villain in the climax.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Even between the likes of Dr. Evil and Austin, Goldmember is weird. He peals flakes of skin off and eats them, is prone to randomly quoting songs and movies and then muttering the creator as an aside, and loves disco dancing at random.
- Dirty Old Man
- Disability Superpower: His smelting accident, and likely the loss of feeling in his groin, apparently lets him lift his legs absurdly high. His trademark attack is lifting them high enough to kick over his shoulder, which makes it hard to take the guy hostage from behind.
- Funny Foreigner: "I'm from Holland! Isn't that vierd?"
- Gag Penis: His penis is implied to be covered in solid gold. In the climax, it turns out he can unscrew it and use it as a spare key to his tractor beam.
- Groin Attack: His trademark is to paint the genitals of the agents he captures gold. He also tries to subject Nigel to the same "unfortunate smelting accident" that he fell victim to.
- Meaningful Name: He lost his genitalia in "an unfortunate smelting accident".
Dr. Evil's Other Henchmen
- Played By: Fabiana Udenio
- Femme Fatale
- Ms. Fanservice
- Punny Name: Her name is a play on "Pussy Galore" from Goldfinger.
- Sexy Silhouette: She stands behind a screen to undress, causing Austin's libido to go crazy more than usual.
- Played By: Will Ferrell
- Iron Butt Monkey: It takes more than a trapdoor and flamethrowers to kill him.
- Kukris Are Kool
- Nice Hat
- Rasputinian Death
- Weaksauce Weakness: If asked the same question three times in a row, he will be compelled to answer, since it "irritates" him.
- Played By: Kristen Johnston
- High Heel-Face Turn: She was sent by Dr. Evil to kill Austin. She quickly became attracted to him, confessing her true motives and begging him to make love to her.
- Punny Name
- Played By: Joe Son
- The Brute
- Improbable Weapon User: He throws a shoe.
- The Voiceless: He has no lines apart from growling.
- Played By: Paul Dillon
- Played By: Gia Carides
- Bulletproof Human Shield: Austin uses her as one when Mooks attack his pad in 1969.
- Butt Monkey
- The Chew Toy
- Femme Fatale
- Made of Iron: Shot with various guns (including a bazooka) and even the survived a 100-foot fall out a window. Leading Austin to wonder why won't she die?!
- Punny Name: Her maiden name was "Spitz."
- Played By: Cheryl Bartel, Cindy Margolis, Donna W. Scott, Barbara Moore, Cynthia Lamontagne
- Ms. Fanservice
- Shout-Out: They have hair like Barbarella.
- Too Spicy for Yog Sothoth: They're meant to distract their targets with sex appeal, then kill them with hidden guns. Austin counters this by using his own sex appeal (i.e., his mojo), which even they can't resist, leading to...
Fook Mi and Fook Yu
- Played By: Diane Mizota and Carrie Ann Inaba
- Asian Gal with White Guy
- My Name Is Not Durwood: In a deleted scene, their real names are "Cindy" and "Sally."
- Punny Name
- Twin Threesome Fantasy
- Played By: Kaya Wade
- Butt Monkey: Austin punches her in the face and tries to pull her hair off because he thought she was a man in disguise.