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AMV Hell 4 made this even funnier by combining it with a clip from The End of Evangelion where a man gets horribly burnt and then shot.
Dr. Evil proves he's hip by doing the Macarena.
And after that:
Dr. Evil: Well, don't look at me like I'm frickin' Frankenstein. Give your father a hug!
Dr. Evil: Hugs! *Starts chasing Scott*
Scott: Get away from me, you lazy-eyed psycho!
Dr. Evil: Hugs!
Dr. Evil's famous laugh. The entirety of it is more humorous than threatening.
The "evacuation" scene.
The scene in the casino bathroom where Austin is fighting off an assassin, but the cowboy in the stall next to him (played by Tom Arnold) thinks he's having a massive BM because of the grunting noises he's making.
Austin: Who does Number Two work for? Who does Number Two work for?
Cowboy: That's it, buddy. You show that turd who's boss!
And after the cowboy sees the drowned assassin face-down in the toilet:
Dr Evil's description of his childhood especially:
Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential.
Therapist(Carrie Fisher): Oh no, please, please, let's hear about your childhood.
Dr. Evil: Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
In fact, just about every scene between Dr. Evil and his son.
Scott: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott: You always do that!
When Austin gets back his stuff after being reanimated:
Clerk: One blue, crushed velvet suit.
Austin: Hey, all right!
Clerk: One frilly, lace cravet.
Austin: There it is!
Clerk: One silver medallion with male symbol. One pair of Italian boots.
Austin: Bon giorno, boys.
Clerk: One vinyl record album. Burt Bacharach plays his hits.
Austin: Right, yeah.
Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.
Austin:(to Vanessa) That's not mine.
Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.
Austin: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.
"She looks like she's been hit with an ugly stick!"
A bit of Black Humor as Austin recounts the people he knew from the 60's:
"Jimi Hendrix. Deceased. Drugs."
"Janis Joplin. Deceased. Alcohol."
"Mama Cass. Deceased. Ham sandwich."
After finding out that Number 2 failed to get laser-armed sharks....
Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can not be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here. Alright, what do we have?
Number 2: Sea bass.
Dr. Evil: .....Riiiiight.
Number 2: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Oh, really? Are they ill tempered?
Number 2: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Well, it's a start.
"That makes me angry! And when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset! And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset ... peopleDIE!"
Random Task and the sheer Anticlimax of his penultimate scene.
Austin: Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!
When Austin tries to turn around in his motorized tour cart during the finale. Instead of merely backing up down the hallway, he tries to do a Y-Turn with a vehicle in a really narrow hallway. The whole concept is so ridiculous it's great. In particular, the part where he looks backward but accidentally drives forward is hysterical.
The gambling scene. It's so dumb it's great.
Number 2: Hit me. Dealer: You have seventeen, sir. Number 2: I like to live dangerously. Dealer: (turns card) Four. Twenty-one. (crowd claps; Austin is dealt his cards) Five. Austin: I'll stay. Dealer: I suggest you hit, sir. Austin: I also like to live dangerously. Dealer: (turns cards) Twenty beats your five.
When Dr. Evil tries to sign off with the world leaders, and accidentally hits the button to prompt Beavis and Butt-Head to play instead:
Beavis: Check it out, Butt-Head. This chick has three boobs! Hehehehehe. (the world leaders look at each other, confused) Butt-Head: That's cool. How many butts does she have?
Patty O'Brien and his lucky charms.
"Oh hell, letís just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good!"
From The Spy Who Shagged Me
The following sequence when Dr Evil's phallic rocket arrives at Earth in the second Austin Powers movie:
(Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar)
Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Austin: (takes a sniff of what he thinks is coffee) Phew! Crikey, this coffee smells like shit! (The camera follows Basil's gaze to the pot, which is labeled Fat Bastard Stool Sample) Basil: ...it isshit, Austin. Austin: Oh good, then it's not just me. (chuckles, then takes a sip) ...it's a bit nutty.
When Felicity shows off her breasts to a henchman:
Dr. Evil: What did you call me? Scott: Nothing. [pretends to sneeze] Ripoff. Dr. Evil: Bless you.
Fat Bastard saying about Mini-Me "He's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap!", ordering him to "Get in my belly!", singing "I want my baby back ribs..."
In a reversal of a joke from the first movie, when Dr. Evil goes back in time to 1969 and threatens the President of the United States with a $100 billion ransom, the president and his entire cabinet laugh in his face, telling him that amount of money doesn't even exist yet in the entire world.
Basil: How was your honeymoon? Austin: Well it turns out Vanessa was a fembot! Basil: (remorseful) Yes, we... knew all along, sadly. (chipper) Anyway...
When Dr. Evil drinks a cafe latte and gets a bunch of its cream on his nose. He then chews out Number Two (who was trying to bring it up) for no reason.
Dr. Evil: SILENCE!!! I will not tolerate your insolence!
Then Frau is able to do so:
Dr. Evil: ...I know. Meant to. That's how we drink it in Belgium. It's called a "Belgian dip".
Even the teaser trailer gets one, by suckering us into thinking it's for The Phantom Menace (remember, this was when everyone was still hyped to no end for that film) until Dr. Evil spins around on Palpatine's chair and says "You were expecting someone else?"
It gets better; they even acknowledge that Episode I would steamroll over everything that season; "IF YOU ONLY SEE ONE MOVIE THIS SUMMER...see Star Wars." Cue Dr. Evil shrugging like, "Yeah, we know the deal."
What, no mention of when Austin and Felicity were arguing in the death trap?
Austin: [referring to Felicity sleeping with Fat Bastard] Well how could you do it?
Felicity: I was just doing my job.
Austin: No I mean literally, how could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.
And yet apparently the copyright for the freaking Pokemon running around in the same scene was easier to obtain.
From Fat Bastard: "You know what my favourite Helen Hunt movie is? TWISTER!" (twists his sumo opponent's testicles)
Another Fat Bastard line: "Unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina."
In the same scene, he looks noticably thinner (though with countless wrinkles and folds of skin). He reveals that he took the "Subway Diet"—a jab at a heavily-advertised claim of someone eating only Subway sandwiches and losing weight as a result.
Dr Evil: "I'd just like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl".
Just as amusingly, this might turn out to be a big, fat lie in a blink-and-miss it moment around the climax of the film.
Another famous Mood Whiplash: "It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! It smells like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!"
Oh, and by the way? I do have a huge rod... I wish.
Nigel Powers discussing about Mini Me's .... thing.
Nigel Powers: So, little fella, I'm curious. Is everything in proportion?
(Mini-Me nods unsure)
Nigel Powers: You know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies... Yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look.
(Mini-Me unzips his pants)
(* thump* )
Nigel Powers: My word! You're a tripod. What you been feeding that thing, eh? It looks like a baby's arm holding an apple. Good thing is, if you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand!
(Mini-Me nods, smiling, then does just that)
"Blimey! I thought I smelled cabbage."
It's a Brick Joke, Austin once claimed in the first movie that he hated carnival folk. "Small hands, you know, smell like cabbage." Also because when Nigel was at school, one of the staples of a school dinner was boiled cabbage, so much so, that kids coming home from school used to smell of the stuff.
"Alright, let me find my balls, for God's sakes! 1, 2, and 3, okay. I'm okay."
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen!" (laughs, then notices he isn't getting any laughs from his submarine crew) "No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub..."
"I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you."
And this little ditty:
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurance policy. May I present to you, the very sexual, the very toite, Austin Power's faja.
Dr. Evil: His what?
Number 2: His faja, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: His ferdjer? What's a ferdjer?
Goldmember: His faja. You know, the faja.
Dr. Evil: You know Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch. Okay, perv boy?
Goldmember: Faja, his dad, dad is faja.
Dr. Evil: Oh, his dad. His * fa-ther*
Goldmember: Yes, I have a Dutch accent. Isn't that vierd?
"There are only two things I can't stand in this world: people who are intolerant of other peoples' cultures... and the Dutch."
Simple, yet hilarious misunderstanding:
Dr. Evil: Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers. Austin Powers: Yes. Squid pro row.
This little piece of dialogue, which also doubles as an awesome moment:
Nigel Powers: Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Oh, put the guns down. Is this your first day on the job or something? Look, here is how it goes. You attack me and I knock you down with a single punch. Okay? Go.
(a guard goes at him)
Nigel Powers: Judo chop! (knocks first guard over with judo chop)
Dr. Evil: Oh, he's good.
Nigel Powers: Judo chop! (knocks second guard over with judo chop. The last guard standing there holds his gun nervously.) Do you know who I am?
Nigel Powers: Do you know how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years?
(guard nods again)
Nigel Powers: And look at you, you don't even have a name tag! You've got no chance. Why don't you just fall down? Go on, son.
Made even funnier on the DVD commentary, when Mike Myers imitates a fan who loved that joke: "When he threw that cupcake, man..."
The fake-out in the beginning where the action sequence is actually from an in-universe Austin Powers movie starring Tom Cruise as Austin, and Danny DeVito as Mini-Me.
Kevin Spacey as Dr. Evil: You better watch your friggin' self, because this is one doctor who does make house calls.
Danny Devito as Mini-Me: Hey assholes! (gives the finger) I'm Mini-Me! Come and get me!
The scene where Austin has to keep peeing to make it look like the fountain statue is still working. Why Austin ate asparagus is anybody's guess...
Why there's a labelled plate of asparagus next to the fountain is an even bigger mystery.
Then some security guards get knocked out and one is at an angle where it looks like the statue is pissing in his mouth!
This bit, from the Austin/Fat Bastard scene:
Austin: You really are a Fat Bastard! Fat Bastard: You know, that hurts my feelings. I tried going on a diet. "The Zone", you know, "carbs are the enemy, and (mumbles)..." (notices Foxxy) Hey, who's your friend? Oh, I'd like to have a go with that filly. Do you find me sexy? (rubs his breasts erotically) Oh look at my titties! (moans)
When Austin visits Mr. Roboto:
Austin: What do you know about my father's where.........about..........s?
After the faux opening, when it's revealed to be a movie Austin's shooting:
Austin: I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the greatest director in the world, is gonna make a mooooovie about my life. Very shagadelic, baby, yeah! Having said that, I do have some thoughts. Spielberg: (holding an Oscar) Uh, my friend here, thinks it's fine the way it is.
Dr. Evil's maximum security jail cell isn't even locked. He accidentally opens it when yelling at Austin, and when he notices, he says "I'll get it." and shuts it himself.
The toothless gardener that laughs at Austin, who happens to look the same age in both the present and in Austin's flashback to his college days.
When Dr. Evil and Mini-Me are on trial for their crimes, Mini-Me drops his pants at the judge and spanks his ass.
Scott: You know, this is causing me serious psychological harm! Dr. Evil: (mocking) Ohhh... I don't know... who am I?
The flashback to Austin's college days, mostly due to how uncannily close Aaron Himelstein (playing young Austin) is to the real thing. Especially good is when young Austin is in bed with his French teacher:
Teacher: Don't forget, monsieur Powers: Later, you have a brief oral exam. Austin: I hope it's mostly oral, and not too........ brief......... baby? You know.
The scene in which Dr. Evil finally gets his sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams attached to their heads is comedic gold. Scott is finally recognised as a worthy son of Dr. Evil (at the expense of Mini-Me), and they share a bonding moment, followed by this:
(Awkward silence, as everyone turns to look as Mini-Me)
Dr. Evil: Oooh, this is uncomfortable.
Goldmember: Haha, the tiny one can't take a hint! He doesn't understand he is shmall, haha.
Followed by Mini-Me slowly wheeling his chair out of the room, but not before Flipping the Bird at Dr. Evil as he leaves. Dr. Evil then makes a sound of inexpressible rage and shock.
Scott making fun of Dr. Evil's plan:
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H. (Scott snickers) Dr. Evil: ...What? Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass. Dr. Evil: (still confused) I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream? Scott Evil: Yes, I would love some chocolate ass-cream. Dr. Evil: ...Perhaps later. (...) Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole, Preparation H feels good. (Scott snickers again) Dr. Evil: What is it now? Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good... on the hole. Dr. Evil: Well I'm glad we're "spreckensee" the same "lingity".
Dr. Evil, to Frau: "But nothing compares to this: Being inside the belly of the beast night after night all alone! DADDY'S ALL PENT UP! LET'S FREAK!!"
Dr. Evil meeting Number Three, and immediately obsessing over the giant mole on Three's face ("WHOA!").