- A Call Back to the last film with a satellite that looks like a pair of breasts:
Radar Operator: Sir, Dr. Evil's not bluffing. One of our satellites is falling out of orbit.
Colonel: Which one?
Radar Operator: The one that looks like a pair of—
Hot Storekeeper: Melons! [holds up two cantaloupes] Big juicy melons!
Random Passerby: Are they nice and firm?
Hot Storekeeper: What do you think?
Random Passerby: [points into the sky] Look at that! It looks like a giant set of—
Sports Fans: [''Yelling and cheering; four of their chests spell "TITS"]
T: Hey, men, you're late.
[Two more men with "A" and "N" on their chests walk in and go between the "T" and the "S". The chests now spell "TITANS".]
Sports Fans: [More yelling and cheering]
One Fan: Check it out! Those remind me of—
Sharon: Boobs, Ozzy?
: These filmmakers are f***ing
Kelly: What do you mean, dad?
Sharon: What f***ing joke?
: You know, the f***ing
joke about the long, smooth rocket that looks like some guy's—
Colonel: Johnson! Any sign of that satellite?
- A random Japanese pedestrian pointing out that the Godzilla attacking Tokyo is a fake.
Japanese Man: RUN! IT'S GODZILLA!
It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws - it's not.
Japanese Man: STILL! WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS GODZILLA!
(both scream and run away)
- And yet apparently the copyright for the freaking Pokemon running around in the same scene was easier to obtain.
- From Fat Bastard: "You know what my favourite Helen Hunt movie is? TWISTER!" (twists his sumo opponent's testicles)
- Another Fat Bastard line: "Unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina."
- In the same scene, he looks noticably thinner (though with countless wrinkles and folds of skin). He reveals that he took the "Subway Diet"—a jab at a heavily-advertised claim of someone eating only Subway sandwiches and losing weight as a result.
- Austin just can't resist saying the word "mole", can he?
- MOLE! BLOODY MOLE! We aren't supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face! I want to c-u-u-t it off, ch-o-o-p it off, and make guacaMOH-LE!
- Don't forget: "Mole. Mole. Mollleee..." "OH, SHUT UP!" "...MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY!"
- When Austin randomly starts poking the mole with a stick.
- The bit where Scotty breaks down after realizing that Dr Evil is actually Nigel Powers' son is fairly serious, until he runs off very gently.
"I'd just like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl
- Just as amusingly, this might turn out to be a big, fat lie in a blink-and-miss it moment around the climax of the film.
- Another famous Mood Whiplash: "It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! It smells like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!"
- Austin having trouble reading the subtitles of Mr Roboto's dialogue.
Please eat some shitake mushrooms.
Your assignment is an unhappy one.
I have a huge rodent problem.
Oh, and by the way? I do have a huge rod... I wish.
- Nigel Powers discussing about Mini Me's .... thing.
Nigel Powers: So, little fella, I'm curious. Is everything in proportion?
(Mini-Me nods unsure)
Nigel Powers: You know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies... Yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look.
(Mini-Me unzips his pants)
(* thump* )
My word! You're a tripod
. What you been feeding that thing, eh? It looks like a baby's arm holding an apple. Good thing is, if you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand!
(Mini-Me nods, smiling, then does just that)
- "Blimey! I thought I smelled cabbage."
- It's a Brick Joke, Austin once claimed in the first movie that he hated carnival folk. "Small hands, you know, smell like cabbage." Also because when Nigel was at school, one of the staples of a school dinner was boiled cabbage, so much so, that kids coming home from school used to smell of the stuff.
- "Not so fast! You're surrounded, Dr Evil!" "Shit."
- "Alright, let me find my balls, for God's sakes! 1, 2, and 3, okay. I'm okay."
- "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen!" (laughs, then notices he isn't getting any laughs from his submarine crew) "No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub..."
- "I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you."
- And this little ditty:
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurance policy. May I present to you, the very sexual, the very toite, Austin Power's faja.
Dr. Evil: His what?
Number 2: His faja, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: His ferdjer? What's a ferdjer?
Goldmember: His faja. You know, the faja.
Dr. Evil: You know Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch. Okay, perv boy?
Goldmember: Faja, his dad, dad is faja.
Dr. Evil: Oh, his dad. His * fa-ther*
Goldmember: Yes, I have a Dutch accent. Isn't that vierd?
- And a nod to odd-sounding Bond Girl names.
Fook Mi: (runs to Austin} Austin Powers! You're so great and so sexy!
Austin Powers: Thanks, baby! Now what's your name?
Fook Mi: Fook Mi!
Austin Powers: (pause) Oh, behave. (snickers) And your name is...
Fook Mi: Fook Mi!
Austin Powers: Can you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Fook Mi: No! Fook Mi! Like this!
(turns away so Austin can see Fook Mi written on her bag)
Austin Powers: Oh! Your name is Fook Mi!
Fook Mi: Would you like a drink?
(runs away to get drink)
Austin Powers: Actually I have a private bar...
(Fook Mi's twin sister, Fook Yu arrives)
Fook Yu: Here you go!
(gives him drink)
Austin Powers: (thinking she's Fook Mi) Fook Mi, that was fast!
Fook Yu: Fook Yu!
- A deleted scene adds to this, Austin meets them in Tokyo, culminating in a conversation that reveals the twins' true names to be "Sally" and "Cindy."
- "WHAT!? I DID NAE HAVE ANY CORN!"
- This exchange:
Goldmember: Can I paint his yoohoo gold? It's kind of my thing, you know?
(Dr. Evil slowly rolls his chair right next to Goldmember)
Dr. Evil: How 'bout NO, YOU CRAZY DUTCH BASTARD?!?
(Goldmember makes a priceless "snubbed" face)
- "You may be a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debator."
- The wonderful scene in Goldmember when Austin "rescues" his father from four girls at Goldmember's party. Hilarity Ensues. (Subtitles are in parentheses)
Austin: What's wrong with your neck?
Nigel: I took a Viagra and it got stuck in my throat. I've had a stiff neck for hours.
Both: Ah, thank you!
Austin: Listen, Dad, if you are going to talk about naughty things in front of these American girls, then at least speak English English.
Nigel: All right, my son. I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. (I was about to make love to this pretty girl.)
Austin: Are you telling pork-pies and a bag of trout? (Is this true?) Because if you are feeling quigly why not just have a J. Arthur? (If you were aroused, why didn't you pleasure yourself?)
Nigel: What, billy no mates? (What, alone?)
Austin: Too right, youth. (Indeed.)
Nigel: Don't you remember the Crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? (Remember Christmas dinner with the Scottish girl?)
Austin: Oh, the one who was all sixes and sevens. (The insane one?)
Nigel: Yes, yes yes she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer that lived up the apples and pears! (She was the wife of the dancer that lived upstairs.)
Austin: And she was the barrister that became a bobby in a lorry, (She was a lawyer who became a policeman in a truck...)
Both: ??????? (??????) ?????...tea kettle. (????...tea kettle) and then she, she she shat on a turtle!
- When Austin uses his inherent sexiness to make several Fembots' heads explode.
- "There are only two things I can't stand in this world: people who are intolerant of other peoples' cultures... and the Dutch."
- Simple, yet hilarious misunderstanding:
Dr. Evil: Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers.
Austin Powers: Yes. Squid pro row.
- This little piece of dialogue, which also doubles as an awesome moment:
Nigel Powers: Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Oh, put the guns down. Is this your first day on the job or something? Look, here is how it goes. You attack me and I knock you down with a single punch. Okay? Go.
(a guard goes at him)
Nigel Powers: Judo chop! (knocks first guard over with judo chop)
Dr. Evil: Oh, he's good.
Nigel Powers: Judo chop! (knocks second guard over with judo chop. The last guard standing there holds his gun nervously.) Do you know who I am?
Nigel Powers: Do you know how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years?
(guard nods again)
Nigel Powers: And look at you, you don't even have a name tag! You've got no chance. Why don't you just fall down? Go on, son.
(the guard does so)
- Doctor Evil: "Why must I constantly be surrounded by frickin' idiots?"
- "Who throws a cup cake? Honestly..."
- Made even funnier on the DVD commentary, when Mike Myers imitates a fan who loved that joke: "When he threw that cupcake, man..."
- The fake-out in the beginning where the action sequence is actually from an in-universe Austin Powers movie starring Tom Cruise as Austin, and Danny DeVito as Mini-Me.
Kevin Spacey as Dr. Evil
: You better watch your friggin' self, because this is one doctor who does
make house calls.
Danny Devito as Mini-Me
: Hey assholes
! (gives the finger) I'm Mini-Me! Come and get me!
- The scene where Austin has to keep peeing to make it look like the fountain statue is still working. Why Austin ate asparagus is anybody's guess...
- Why there's a labelled plate of asparagus next to the fountain is an even bigger mystery.
- Then some security guards get knocked out and one is at an angle where it looks like the statue is pissing in his mouth!
- This bit, from the Austin/Fat Bastard scene:
Austin: You really are a Fat Bastard!
Fat Bastard: You know, that hurts my feelings. I tried going on a diet. "The Zone", you know, "carbs are the enemy, and (mumbles)..." (notices Foxxy) Hey, who's your friend? Oh, I'd like to have a go with that filly. Do you find me sexy? (rubs his breasts erotically) Oh look at my titties! (moans)
- When Austin visits Mr. Roboto:
Austin: What do you know about my father's where.........about..........s?
- After the faux opening, when it's revealed to be a movie Austin's shooting:
Austin: I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the greatest director in the world, is gonna make a mooooovie about my life. Very shagadelic, baby, yeah! Having said that, I do have some thoughts.
Spielberg: (holding an Oscar) Uh, my friend here, thinks it's fine the way it is.
- Dr. Evil's maximum security jail cell isn't even locked. He accidentally opens it when yelling at Austin, and when he notices, he says "I'll get it." and shuts it himself.
- The toothless gardener that laughs at Austin, who happens to look the same age in both the present and in Austin's flashback to his college days.
- When Dr. Evil and Mini-Me are on trial for their crimes, Mini-Me drops his pants at the judge and spanks his ass.
- This bit:
Scott: You know, this is causing me serious psychological harm!
Dr. Evil: (mocking) Ohhh... I don't know... who am I?
- The flashback to Austin's college days, mostly due to how uncannily close Aaron Himelstein (playing young Austin) is to the real thing. Especially good is when young Austin is in bed with his French teacher:
Teacher: Don't forget, monsieur Powers: Later, you have a brief oral exam.
Austin: I hope it's mostly oral, and not too........ brief......... baby? You know.
- The scene in which Dr. Evil finally gets his sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams attached to their heads is comedic gold. Scott is finally recognised as a worthy son of Dr. Evil (at the expense of Mini-Me), and they share a bonding moment, followed by this:
(Awkward silence, as everyone turns to look as Mini-Me)
Dr. Evil: Oooh, this is uncomfortable.
Goldmember: Haha, the tiny one can't take a hint! He doesn't understand he is shmall, haha.
- Followed by Mini-Me slowly wheeling his chair out of the room, but not before Flipping the Bird at Dr. Evil as he leaves. Dr. Evil then makes a sound of inexpressible rage and shock.
- Scott making fun of Dr. Evil's plan:
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.
Dr. Evil: ...What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: (still confused) I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I would love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: ...Perhaps later.
Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole, Preparation H feels good.
(Scott snickers again)
Dr. Evil: What is it now?
Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good... on the hole.
Dr. Evil: Well I'm glad we're "spreckensee" the same "lingity".
- Dr. Evil, to Frau: "But nothing compares to this: Being inside the belly of the beast night after night all alone! DADDY'S ALL PENT UP! LET'S FREAK!!"
- Dr. Evil meeting Number Three, and immediately obsessing over the giant mole on Three's face ("WHOA!").
Dr. Evil: Aabuuuhhh......