WMG: Austin Powers
Doctor Evil Alotta Fagina shortly before the climax. This is when the switch happens. The real Vanessa is still out there somewhere and will no doubt come bursting into the room at the end of the next Austin Powers movie and reveal the whole story to him and whoever his current Bond Austin Girl is.
AssArse Only (For Your Eyes Only)
A View to a Shag (A View to a Kill)
The Shagging Daylights (The Living Daylights)
Licence to Shag (Licence to Kill)
Tomorrow Never Shags (Tomorrow Never Dies)
All the Babes in the World are not Enough (The World Is Not Enough)
Shag Another Day (Die Another Day)
Casino RoYeah, Baby (Casino Royale)
Quantum of Sol-Ass (Quantum of Solace)
Never Say Member Again (Never Say Never Again)
Vanessa Kensington was a fembot sleeper agent who was unaware of her true nature.Sometime before the bulk of the first film, the real Vanessa was replaced by a robotic duplicate who had been programmed with the memories and personality of the original. The sleeper fembot was unaware of her true nature, and she genuinely fell for Austin. It was only after the marriage that her assassination programming was triggered and overrode her Vanessa persona. This explains how Vanessa can have a mother: there was once a real Vanessa. It also explains why she didn't take advantage of earlier opportunities to get rid of Austin.
Vanessa was replaced by a fembot immediately before the climax of International Man of Mystery.She gets captured by
- Alternately, she was killed when she was replaced.
Both Vanessa and her mother were prototype fembots.The theory that Vanessa was a human who was killed and replaced by a fembot seems just a bit too dark and depressing for the "Austin Powers" saga. It would mean that Mrs. Kensington has lost her daughter, and that Austin's lover has been murdered and he doesn't even notice or care. The truth must be something more tongue-in-cheek. On top of that, it's stated in the movie that "Vanessa was a fembot the whole time." Mrs. Kensington was a fembot spy from Dr. Evil. Vanessa was an artificial daughter she had built for herself, just as Dr. Evil himself had Scott and Mini-Me made for him. The Fembot wasn't officially invented until the '90s, but Vanessa and her mother are prototypes. They were both sleeper agents, who only became aware of their true nature and mission when it was time to kill Austin, or report into Dr. Evil about their spy work now and then.
Mini Me is the test tube baby that Scott was supposed to beWe know that Frau lied, and that Scott is the natural son of her and Doctor Evil. Maybe they DID use Doctor Evil's sperm to clone him...and Mini Me is the result. (There is no disputing that Mini Me is a clone of some sort!)
The Austin Powers series is FAR from doneThe following movies will be made: Doctor Yeah, Baby! (Dr. No) From the 60s With Love (From Russia with Love) Thunderballs (Thunderball) You Only Shag Twice (You Only Live Twice) On Her Majesty's Secret Cervix (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) Live and Let Shag (Live and Let Die) The Man With the Golden Member (The Man with the Golden Gun) Sequels Are Forever (Diamonds Are Forever) Moonrakish (Moonraker) For Your
- Somewhere, a porno namer is laughing with glee at this page.
There is a Judo-Christian God, and Austin Powers is his Prophet.Inspired by an oft-forgotten "e" and the Rule of Cool.
Felicity Shagwell fell in love with Austin From Ten Minutes Ago.This explains her absence in Goldmember and allows her to be more than just a Girl of the Week.
Felicity Shagwell settled down with the real Austin.The Austin in Goldmember is Austin From Ten Minutes Ago.
The Austin from every movie onward will be a different paradox clone, and end up mated with his Bond Girl for life.Thus subverting the whole point of the Bond Girl trope. When and if Vanessa returns, there's either going to be one of him free, or every one of him is going to be in a lot of trouble.
The first movie takes place over the course of a year.The first one takes place in 1997, but at the beginning of the second movie, it's 1999. In the second movie, it says that Austin was frozen in November 1967 and was unfrozen thirty years later, so the movie could take place in November 1997 once he's unfrozen. It's possible that the mission to infiltrate Verticon ended sometime in late 1998, with time skips that aren't indicated or mentioned in the film. Vanessa holds a grudge against Austin for sleeping with Alotta Fagina for a period of months. Austin and Vanessa then get married then in early 1999.
- But doesn't this all take place within the week (I think it was) that Dr. Evil gave the UN to pay him the 100 billion dollars?
Real Vanessa got swapped with fembot Vanessa in between the first two films.Nobody's seen her since. Yeah, this is just an excuse for the real Vanessa to survive.
Number Two is actually Big Boss.
Dr. Evil is a chronic nail biterHe is always trying to remove a phantom nail, it's been gone since his dad left him but, he misses his dad so much he doesn't believe it's truly gone.
Fat Bastard ate Mr. Bigglesworth.We know he has already eaten a baby and a delivery man, so eating his employer's beloved pet wouldn't be beneath him. It's likely that Fat Bastard himself doesn't even know he ate the cat; Mr. Bigglesworth jumped up onto the table to nibble at Fat Bastard's fried chicken, and wound up tumbling down the Scotsman's gullet along with everything else.
Mrs. Kensington was barren.Vanessa really was a fembot the entire time, it's just that she was created by the Ministry of Defense with weapon systems that were deactivated after testing for being too conspicuous. Dr. Evil successfully got her with a virus at some point, however, so she went berserk at the start of The Spy Who Shagged Me.
The reason Goldmember lost his genitalia in "an unfortunate smelting accident" was because he was trying to have sex with molten gold.
- ...You mean that's not the canon explanation?
Who else would sound good saying "How about no?", and in response to what?Put your own suggestions in first-level bullet points.
- Remilia Scarlet, in response to Sakuya's advances.
- David Cameron with regard to any attempt from Nick Clegg to deliver on his manifesto promises…
Nick Clegg: Mr. Cameron – c—can I abolish University tuition fees… It’s kinda my thing…
Cameron approaches Clegg from the far side of the Cabinet Room.
David Cameron: HOW ‘BOUT NO!‼❕❗ Ya crazy Lib—Dem bastard!