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     Official Touhou Games 

Phantasmagoria of Dim.Dream

  • Mima's scenario:
    Chiyuri: Do as I say, if you value your life.
    Mima: No. ♥
    Chiyuri: ......... *sweatdrop*
  • Same cutscene, different player character:
    Chiyuri: You'd better do as I say, if you know what's good for you.
    Kotohime: Okay, I will! ♥
    Chiyuri: Couldn't you show a little resistance?
    • Pretty much everything about Kotohime, really. Especially most characters' reactions to her.
    Marisa: ...Princess?
  • All of the endings are pretty comical but the best has to be Marisa's in which after a a bout of back and forth Les Yay, Yumemi grants Marisa's wish of obtaining a weapon from Yumemi's world—- by giving her an ICBM. Marisa has no idea how to use it so she just flies around on it like a new broomstick.

Lotus Land Story

  • Playing as Reimu results in Marisa being the Stage 4 boss. Her reaction is literally, "Oh, Crap! Reimu!"

The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil

  • Cirno in her first appearance:
    Cirno: I'll cryo-freeze you along with some English beef!
    • Cirno's infamous "Icicle Fall" pattern on Easy difficulty. One of the very few spell cards to have a blatant blind spot... which is right in front of her. For this reason, some fans refer to it as "Icicle FAIL".
  • Marisa being Marisa:
    Marisa: How many people's blood did you drink?
    Remilia: Can you count the number of times you've eaten bread?
    Marisa: Thirteen. I prefer Japanese food.
  • Marisa not quite getting it.
    Flandre: I've been in the basement. For about 495 years.
    Marisa: That's sweet, I only get weekends off.
  • In the extra stage, after Marisa beats Flandre, they end up discussing a "famous rhyme". Marisa claims that the "real" song ends with the last Indian getting married (as opposed to hanging herself), and suggests introducing Flandre to Reimu for that purpose.
    • There's a bit of ironic meta-humour related to this, because the Reimu-Flandre pairing has never been nearly as popular as Marisa-Flandre.
    • In Marisa's EX stage, Flandre asks Marisa her name, and then later reveals that she heard everything that happened upstairs earlier in the game when Marisa tries to lie.
      Flandre: Here I am.
      Marisa: And you are?
      Flandre: Before you ask someone else's name...
      Marisa: Oh, me? I'm Reimu Hakurei. A shrine maiden.
      Flandre: I am Flandre, Miss Marisa. (There's no way you could be a shrine maiden.)
      Marisa: And who are you? (Maybe I should have said nurse?)

Perfect Cherry Blossom

  • Reimu vs. Chen:
    Chen: You can't leave once you wander in.
    Reimu: Is that so? By the way, I hear that Mayohiga's items bring you good fortune if you take them home.
    Chen: Yeah, that's true...
    Reimu: Then let the plundering begin!
    Chen: Uh... what!?
    • If the dialogue doesn't get you, Chen's face when she says the last line most likely will.
  • Sakuya vs. Alice:
    Alice: So, for what reason do you worry? About yourself.
    Sakuya: Because I'm carrying only three changes of clothes. For myself.
    Alice: Ah, good reason.
    Sakuya: That, and a spare set of knives too.
    Alice: Ah, I— KNIVES?!
  • The Mundane Solution presented in Marisa's route:
    Marisa: Now, open this door!
    Prismrivers: This door doesn't open.
    Marisa: Then what do you do to get through it?!
    Prismrivers: We just fly over it.
    Marisa: ...Oh.

Immaterial and Missing Power

  • Many of Suika's animations; even her standing animation is her unbalanced swaying back and forth.

Imperishable Night

  • This.
    Alice: Why the stuttering? Just yell at her like you always do. Bitch, get out of the way! Like that.
    Marisa: No, don't! We'll be in for it if she gets mad!
    • And then later:
      Marisa: Okay, okay, I give up. You're right. The endless night, stealing the full moon, hiding the human village, and putting funny hats on stone statues. It's all Alice's fault. Now, bitch, get out of the way!
  • There's the choice between each branch, which really encapsulate Marisa's ("Go kick Eirin's ass! (Final A) / Blow up everything you can! (Final B)") and Youmu's ("Go where Lady Yuyuko says (Final A) / Go where Lady Yuyuko says (Final B)") personalities.
  • This little show of, ehm, teamwork with Reimu and Yukari after beating Keine.
    Keine: Tell me, where are you trying to go, anyway?
    Reimu: That way.
    Yukari: This way.
    Keine: ... If you're after the ones behind the abnormal moon, it's that way.
    Reimu: Hah, I was right.
    Yukari: Reimu, your finger is off from hers by 70 degrees.
    Reimu: But you're off by 110...
  • There's also the dialogue in the Youmu and Yuyuko scenario:
    Keine: There is nothing around here. Just move along already.
    Youmu: But honestly, we have no clue where we're headed.
    Keine: Are you wandering around without purpose?
    Yuyuko: No, no, Youmu. We're certainly heading in the right direction. All you need to do is follow me.
    Keine: What is your purpose?
    Youmu: To restore the corrupted moon.
    Yuyuko: No, no, Youmu.
    Youmu: Eh!?
    Yuyuko: It's a wonderful midnight snack tour across the land.
    Keine: You two are really suspicious. Even more suspicious than typical ghosts.
    Youmu: Wait, I can't just let you get away with saying that. Ghosts in general aren't suspicious.
    Yuyuko: No, no-
    Youmu: Shut up.

  • From the Magic Team's scenario, Marisa completely ignoring Reisen while Alice tries to get the former to deal with the latter.
    Reisen: I've sealed all the doors. You can't take the princess now, can you?
    Marisa: Woah. That corridor was so long and dark, Alice.
    Alice: How about we deal with her, to begin with? That one in front of us.
    Reisen: Hey, what? You two are... people of the earth, aren't you? What are you up to at this time of night?
    Marisa: It'd take an entire day of wiping to clean a hall that long, no matter how good a janitor you were.
    Alice: I think it'd still be much faster and easier than cleaning your house, Marisa.
    —okay, now, come on. Let's deal with her, hm?
    Reisen: Looks like some weirdos have already snuck in. We're busy right now. If you have no business other than burglary, leave now.
    Marisa: The only ones who'd be busy at this time of night are the ones who aren't living honestly. Right, colleague?
    Alice: Since Marisa will never get to the point, I will. You or your cohorts are responsible for this warped-moon incident, right?
    Reisen: Indeed.
    Marisa: So, will you return the moon quietly now, or return it after we give you some trouble? Take your pick!
    Alice: Hey, don't just take all my cool lines.

  • This line after Reimu and Yukari defeat Reisen. Coming from anyone else, it's creepy. Coming from Reimu, it's hilarious:
    Reimu: Annoying rabbit! Shut up or we'll shoot the rest of your clothes off!

Phantasmagoria of Flower View

  • One page in the manual has a diagram of everything important on the screen. The last thing on the key is Cirno. What is she labeled as? "Baka".

Scarlet Weather Rhapsody

  • The exchange that takes place when Aya breaks into the Scarlet Devil Mansion during her scenario:
    Aya: We have infiltrated the Scarlet Devil Mansion! I wonder what devilish beasts lurk in this mansion?
    Remilia: Rawrrr!
    Aya: It's, it's here! It's a monster! What's going to happen to our brave correspondent?!
    Remilia: I'mmm gunna eeeat chuuu!
    Aya: Such a fearsome carnivorous monster! Could this be the legendary Mokele-mbembe?!
    Remilia: Mo, Moke? Sorry, I can't act something like that.

Subterranean Animism

  • Alice and Marisa:
    Marisa: Whew... This is so hot. So hot I could die!
    Alice: (Are the dolls okay?)
    Marisa: Yeah, but it's so hot I wouldn't be surprised if they burned up.
    Alice: (I think the dolls themselves will be fine, but it would be bad if the gunpowder inside caught fire.)
    Marisa: Why the hell did you stuff gunpowder in 'em?!
    • The scenario in general is just one hilarious line after another.
      Satori: "Before that, let's search the house...." you think. I won't allow that. Please head to the courtyard immediately.
      Marisa: Damn!
  • Patchouli and Marisa:
    Patchouli: (That cat we met before was probably running free... Just like our cat.)
    Marisa: Huh, you have a cat?
    Patchouli: (... Maybe that was a human we had. It's within the margin of error.) note 
    • Cue Stage 5:
      Rin: Hey, sis, you're pretty good! Your strength is growing on me!
      Marisa: What! The cat turned into a person!
      Patchouli: (A cat and a person... within the margin of error.)

Touhou Hisoutensoku

  • Sanae's final battle ends with a timed Free-Fall Fight. The funny part is that her opponent, Suwako, frequently uses her flying animation, waving her arms as if it would slow down the fall! Earth gods aren't very comfortable in the air.
    • Also the fact that up to this point, Sanae believed that she would end up fighting a Humongous Mecha, only to be disappointed when Suwako shows up, stating that the giant is just a useless doll made by the kappas to advertise her temple, causing Sanae to demand out of sheer annoyance that they fight.
  • Hong Meiling's scenario has her fighting off assassins disguised as other characters orchestrated by a giant catfish. It ends up as All Just a Dream.
    Fake!Alice: As expected of the Scarlet Devil Mansion's gatekeeper! This temporary appearance, you saw through it immediately!

Double Spoiler

  • A lot of spell cards in the series are named after historical events or items, or supernatural phenomena. Then comes Double Spoiler with Reimu's "Exorcism of the Newspaper Subscription Solicitors", which consists of a GIANT seal saying "No News Solicitations! (Thank You)"note 

Fairy Wars

  • Just about any conversation among the fairies:
    Cirno: Huh, all of you really are here.
    Luna: The three of us are as one!
    Sunny: Though a single arrow is broken easily, if you bundle three together...
    Star: You'll run out of arrows three times as fast!
  • The Boss Subtitles are written in Comic Sans.

Ten Desires

  • Mamizou's "Pseudo-Exorcism of the Stupid Shrine Maiden", where she transforms into Reimu and spams her trademark homing bullets...while still having her tanuki tail!
  • Marisa after fighting and insulting Mamizou:
    Mamizou: You...I shall have my revenge upon you! What is your name?
    Marisa: I'm Reimu Hakurei.
    Mamizou: Marisa Kirisame? I'll remember that.
    Marisa: Hey, go after the miko, not me!
  • For that matter, the entire Ten Desires extra stage fight is this: Mamizou uses some of the most... interesting danmaku you'll ever see. See for yourself.
  • Miko's third card, where she summons Futo and Tojiko over and over to attack you while not doing a single thing herself. The best part is that Futo and Tojiko will eventually start complaining about it (instead of boasting or threatening you).
    Tojiko: Have at it!
    Futo: Please let me handle this!
    Tojiko: You damn fool!
    Futo: Your pathetic power isn't worth talking about!
    Tojiko: Good grief!
    Futo: You haven't won yet!
    Tojiko: Once again?
    Futo: Haven't we done enough?

Hopeless Masquerade

  • In Miko's ending, she manages to create a perfect Mask of Hope for Kokoro... which is a crude rendering of Miko's own face.
  • Mamizou's last word, since it has a lot of cartoony sound effects.
    • Her new spell card in version 1.30 has her turning whoever she is facing into various animals, with hilarious results.
  • Koishi is the only one who didn't catch on to the fact that Mamizou was in disguise. Despite this, Mamizou plays along anyway.
    Koishi: Okay! After the shrine maiden, you're next!
    Mamizou: Er... Yeah!

Urban Legend in Limbo

  • From Sumireko's scenario before the fight with Kokoro, after Kokoro has decided to skip "am I pretty" question from the Kuchisake-onna legend:
    Kokoro: Since I'm going to kill you anyway, I was going to stop asking the question. Not pretty? Then die!
    Sumireko: Whaaat? I may not be that confident about my looks, but I'm not that uglyー
  • During the final scenario, Reimu attempts to take the main antagonist, Sumireko, into protective custody. However, Sumireko misinterprets this as an attempt to kill her, so she attempts to self-destruct and destroy Gensokyo's barrier.
    Sumireko: Ah, what a beautiful death. What a worthwhile death.
    Reimu: It's not beautiful at all!
  • Koishi's scenario has her trying to scare people with Miss Mary. Too bad no one knows what a phone is...
  • Sumireko's time out animation has her pull out her tablet, only to accidentally drop it. While she's thousands of feet in the air.

Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom

  • One that requires a bit of information from Mountain of Faith to really appreciate. Stage 1 of LoLK takes place in the Youkai Forest, which is at the base of Youkai Mountain, while Stage 2 takes place at the lake at the peak. In MoF, Reimu mentions that it's noon while she's flying through the Youkai Forest, and it is clearly night-time by the time she makes it to the lake, so it's a fairly substantial trip. Where this gets hilarious is in Sanae's scenario, as she lives not far away from the lake. Meaning she took the long trek down the mountain, only to learn that the invaders she was looking for were right beside her starting point. It's no surprise she spends Stage 2 being a little grumpy.
    • There's also the fact that the Lunar Capital is being threatened by, of all things, fairies. Granted, these fairies were empowered by Junko, but it doesn't make this weakness any less weaksauce.
  • Sanae's Stage 5 and Stage 6, wherein she is the only human in Gensokyo who is familiar with outside world knowledge of the moon.
    Clownpiece: I don't really know what's going on anymore, but I've had enough of all this. I'm tired. Can I leave yet?
    Sanae: (If the fairies are creating the atmosphere,) (then I'm alive because of the fairies...) You can't sleep! If you sleep, someone's gonna die! (Me.)
    Junko: I have underestimated humans. After all, even the crew of Apollo 11 was covered with wounds, they say.
    Sanae: Huh? Details, please.

Antinomy of Common Flowers

  • Most of the casts' ultimate Last Word attacks involve some sort of dramatic, spooky, greatly destructive or impressive show of power — such as calling on a mighty storm, or crushing the opponent under a giant foot, but then there is Joon Yorigami. She grabs her opponent and punches them many times, causing money and jewellery to leak from her to a coin effect from New Super Marisa Land. Then she shakes the opponent some more to squeeze out more money. She throws them aside and tosses a debt notice at her, shortly before peeking out from behind it and sweetly punching her opponent in the face. Especially funny if Marisa is the victim.
  • Doremy's win quotes against her opponents have her talking about their dreams. Yukari's dreams have her literally invade the Dream World, much to Doremy's annoyance.
  • Reisen's scenario is actually about her dream self going on a rampage to satisfy Reisen's frustrations. It's hilarious seeing her call Byakuren a hypocrite right to her face or declaring herself a hero for eliminating Miko.
    Dream!Reisen: (to Miko) Fight me already, you wicked hermit in love with your own voice! This Gensokyo is filled with people who'd celebrate your disappearance! I am a hero of justice!
  • The final stage of Nitori's scenario, Tenshi calls Nitori a "lowly kappa" before her "sparring session", to which this exchange occurs:
    Tenshi: I'm Tenshi Hinanawi. A noble among nobles. A celestial. It must be an honor for a lowly kappa to have me as a sparring partner.
    Nitori: What? A celestial? What a jerk.
    Kokoro: I get it. Those two are joined by the feeling of having no brains. As in: "An empty head feels so niiiice~"
  • One of Jo'on's victory animations has a car pull up and knocking over Shion with a "boing". And then another one has it stop in front of her, and she just cowers in fear.
  • Stage 5 of Marisa's scenario:
    Jo'on: We did it! The concert we all waited for! And soon they'll be playing the music!
    Koishi: Right?! This is gonna be so fun!
    Jo'on: Can't wait for the moment the audience stops thinking.
    Koishi: I love not thinking!

Hidden Star in Four Seasons

  • The game features Reimu, Cirno, Aya, and Marisa as the playable characters. Reimu, Marisa, and Aya's scenarios are all relatively serious, each dealing with the incident of the seasons gone haywire. Cirno's scenario involves her going berserk with power and trying to take over Gensokyo, while still being Cirno. This entails her going around picking fights with people to show off her power, while being oblivious to the events surrounding her and generally airheaded, making her story a bit more of a joke compared to the other playable girls'.
    Cirno: Who're you?
    Okina: Whoa there. Huh? Did you forget? Perhaps when I helped myself to the energies I had you gather, you lost your memories with them?
    Cirno: Mmmm... Oh yeah!
    Okina: Do you remember now? Once again, welcome.
    Cirno: I just remembered that I came to this world to get my memories back! So, uh, who're you again?
    Okina: This isn't getting us anywhere. Oh well, I suppose fairies will be fairies.
  • After defeating Narumi Yatadera, the stage 4 boss, a door appears on her back for Reimu, Aya, and Marisa to go through to the Land of the Rear Door, the setting for the final two stages. For Cirno, the door instead appears on her own back, and she is comically whisked away to the world when she touches her own back, leaving Narumi understandably surprised.
  • The fact that Nemuno starts talking right after her mid-boss fight is funny on it's own. And her actual boss fight starts prematurely afterwards. It's enough to catch a player off-guard.

Violet Detector

  • Some of Sumireko's hashtags are amusing. These include "#InPlainSightlol", "#HyperColorfullol", and "#DontThrowBlades!(ง`ω´)6" (yes, really).
  • Reimu's giant seal returns. This time, it says "Don't take pictures of people without asking!"note 
    • After the first stage where this happens, Sumireko apparently takes this to heart, and tries not to get flamed for it.
  • After a level with Ran and Utsuho, Sumireko doubts that anyone would like pictures of a crow and a fox. Just then, a social media group called "The Fluffy Fur Patrol" starts bringing traffic to them.

Wily Beast and Weakest Creature

  • Kutaka apparently prided herself to be a birdbrain, according to Reimu-Eagle scenario.
    Kutaka: Oh right, that reminds me. I have one more important warning for you. According to the Yama, it'd be unwise to trust that beast spirit possessing you.
    Reimu: Huh? What's that supposed to mean?
    Kutaka: I find myself wondering the same thing. I forget things almost right away, you see...
    Reimu: Y-you know, now that I take a good look at you... Are you literally a birdbrain?
    Kutaka: Of course I am. I'm a chicken deity, after all. Being birdbrained is a valuable trait of mine! And with that, please enjoy your time in Hell.
  • Out of the three heroines, Youmu is the one who trusts the spirits the most, but when Keiki asks Youmu if she really believe the spirits, Youmu immidiately changes side and interrogates the spirits, making them irritated.
    Keiki: Do you truly think the wolf/otter/eagle is telling the truth?
    Youmu: W-Well, I dunno... Wolf/Otter/Eagle spirit! Tell me the truth, I won't be fooled any longer!
    Wolf spirit: You wishy-washy fool! She's the enemy!
    Otter spirit: What a wishy-washy fellow......
    Eagle spirit: Don't mess with me! Are you going to give up on me cause you think I'm lying to you?
  • ZUN describes Saki as a meathead in the music comments, which is really obvious in most of the scenarios of the extra stage. Out of all of them, the Marisa-Wolf is the most hilarious
    Marisa: It doesn't feel like I defeated that Keiki person at all. Maybe she has more up her sleeves......
    Saki: It'll be fine. It'll be fine. I don't really have a reason for it, but I'm not scared of her anymore. I'm sure Kicchou's gonna do something. But being unstoppable once we start attacking is one of our special features.
    Marisa: Hey, wolf spirit... Ain't your boss kinda empty headed?
    Wolf spirit: Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It is as you've seen, she is physically strong, but her intellect is a bit...
    Marisa: I got no idea what the politics of the Animal Realm are like...... But I can hardly imagine this family o'yours ruling it. There's no denyin' you guys are strong, but......
    Saki: What is it?
    Marisa: Keiki seems like the most dangerous person, somehow it seems like she can come at us with all her power again.
    Saki: You think so? Well if that happens, you'll go defeat her again for me, right?
    Marisa: See, that's what I mean. You aren't thinkin at all, are ya?


     Other ZUN games 

  • In Shuusou Gyoku's Extra Stage, when VIVIT encounters Marisa, Marisa's first line is "Shoot and I'll move!"
    • Marisa reprises the line when encountered in Reimu's storyline of Imperishable Night.
      Marisa: Move and I'll shoot!
      Marisa: I messed up. I mean, "shoot and I'll move". In a flash.
  • And at the end, after VIVIT defeats Reimu:
    Reimu: Wow, you're strong...
    VIVIT: Well, will you listen to my request now?
    Reimu: Guess I've got no choice. ... what are you looking for?
    VIVIT: I have to find the "Holy Grail"! And I have to find it today.
    Reimu: ... what's that?
    VIVIT: You know, that special artifact that's said to have held the blood of the Christ after his crucifixion.
    Reimu: ... Who's that?
    VIVIT: *sob sob sob*

     Touhou Print Works and Media 

The Grimoire of Marisa

Symposium of Post-Mysticism

  • Miko talks about how Futo used to be scared of Buddhist statues and responded by lighting them on fire.
    Miko: And then before we knew it, the fire spread to the temple. We definitely went overboard that time...
    Marisa: Uh, that isn't really what you'd call cowardice. (sweatdrop)
    Byakuren: Maybe I should turn everything to stone for fireproofing. And make the statues stone, too...

Touhou Sangetsusei

  • Chapter 1, in which the faries infiltrate the Scarlet Devil Mansion and disguise themselves as maids. In a later chapter, it turns out that Sakuya knew about it and tries to punish them for it.
  • The 4th chapter's moment involves just two words: Stomach Cleaning.Explanation 
  • Chapters 13 & 14. The trio teams up with Cirno. Their prank on Reimu's place is especially fun.
  • Chapter 19. The three fairies try to scare Reimu.
    • "I didn't even do anything..."Explanation 
    • The badly made rokurokubinote  that they use to try to scare broad daylight. Cue Reimu tossing the broom at Sunny Milk. Poor girl.
  • And then comes its sequel, Oriental Sacred Place:
    • Chapter 1. Reimu suggests that Marisa go up the mountain to see some cherry blossoms for hanami note .
      Marisa: (While shaking her head) What? Go flower-viewing with the Tengu? No thanks, I'd rather live... note 
      Reimu: I didn't ask you to drink with them.
      • Reimu is about to show Marisa inside the forest, as she realizes there's still some people going for flower-viewing, but they discover it's the three mischievous fairies, who are drunk and snoring a bit too loudly. Reimu's reaction: KICK!
      • Reimu's Imagine Bubble about the three fairies' home. Her image of Sunny Milk in particular sells it.
        Marisa: No, they aren't living up in the tree branches, but inside the tree itself.
        Reimu: How did you read my mind?!
    • Chapter 11. During the night of the harvest moon, the trio decides to swap Reimu's dumplings with Star Sapphire's poisonous mushroom-filled dumplings. It works, but they discover their stolen dumplings are filled with mud.
      Cirno: (half-paralyzed) I'm gonna... kill them...
    • Chapter 12. During New Year's, the fairies seek help from other youkai to increase the number of visitors to the Hakurei Shrine. However, at night...
      Reimu: Well, the number of visitors certainly has increased, but... ARE THERE ANY HUMAN VISITORS?!
      • If you look closely, there is exactly one. And it's Mokou.
    • Chapter 15. In an incredibly rare occurrence, Patchouli visits the Hakurei Shrine.
      Patchouli: I was buried by an avalanche of books, and while I was facing such a terrible fate, SOMEONEnote  decided to steal books from me.
      Reimu: Stealing is a terrible habit after all.

Wild and Horned Hermit

  • The discussion of Gensokyo's energy policy in the second chapter. Made even funnier when you remember how ZUN usually draws inspiration.
    Sanae: True nuclear fusion isn't meant to power hot springs. It's meant to be used to establish a self-sustaining energy source. Do you know where Gensokyo's energy comes from?
    Reimu: From getting your three square meals a day.
    Marisa: And booze.
    Sanae: (Disapproving Look)
  • When Kasen finds a gold nugget in the Hakurei Shrine, she's more shocked by the fact that it's there in the first place than the fact that vengeful spirits were swarming around it.
  • Sanae imagines a certain electric mouse before Kasen reveals it is a raijuu.
  • When Reimu and Marisa hear rumors of a fortune god blessing a soba shop after visiting it, they get some ideas. Until...
    Marisa: (Happily) Maybe we can do a little kidnapping, ah...?
    Kasen swoops in behind her and moves a bit closer to her at the next panel.
    Marisa: (Nervously) ...or, you know, just make a nice invitation.
  • ANYTHING involving the nameless Kitsune who transforms into Marisa.
    • It all starts when a Kitsune joins one of Reimu's drinking parties, disguised as Marisa. Despite the shapeshift, Reimu still catches her red-handed after her hangover. Since all the Kitsune did was drink sake, she doesn't get exorcised. After thanking Reimu (even covering her identity from the real Marisa by transforming into Sanae), she offers Reimu a way to increase her popularity. Sure enough, the next day, Reimu's shrine has a huge number of visitors. As days pass, though, Reimu is completely exhausted. Luckily, Kasen discovers what's actually going on: It's thanks to the Kuda-gitsune ("tube-fox"), a type of fox youkai, and she's pissed that Reimu has sought help from a youkai for her personal profit. note  Reimu confesses to her and Marisa about the Kitsune, but since she was completely tricked by her, Reimu gains nothing.
    • The Kitsune seems quite pleased that she fooled Reimu. This is short-lived, as Reimu ties her up in the following chapter.
  • Chapter 11. Marisa attempts to go to Kasen's place to steal some stuff (after her first visit in the previous chapter), but ends up getting lost... until she encounters Kasen's pet tiger and attempts to steal it due to its rare pelt.
    • "I don't think they're weak against psychological attacks." (Cue an image bubble of Kanako, Suwako, & Suika) note 
  • Chapter 12. The instant Reimu and Marisa learn what's the cause of the unusual water column in Genbu Ravine and how it actually isn't an incident nor does it concern them, they promptly leave without a fuss... leaving Nitori and the rest of the Kappa gang homeless at the roadside. Even several days after Seiga (the person the deathtrap was actually meant for) escapes, the Kappa are left just outside their hideout with no way in.
  • Chapter 13. Never, EVER piss off Reimu. One of the Yamawaro tells Reimu to get lost, since they're not bothering anyone when Reimu accuses them of being the culprits during their "survival war game". Sure, this is considered a Moment of Awesome, but another Yamawaro is shocked to see who her friend is talking to, thinking, "Did you really say that to the shrine maiden?" At the end of the chapter, despite the problem being resolved, Reimu is still pissed about them apologizing not to her but to the victims, and she decides to go to war with them.
    Reimu: I won't be satisfied until I've completely annihilated those lying bastards.
    Kasen: Well, that's fine too. But don't go overboard.
    • In one of the omake chapters in REX Magazine, one of Nitori's friends decides to join the Yamawaro... only for Reimu to beat her up (as she is still mad), converting her back to a kappa.
  • Chapter 14. The hobgoblin learns the meaning of fear after staying in Gensokyo for a few days.
  • In chapter 16, Kasen brings a special drinking box and tells people that it can heal their wounds. Before she can explain the side effects, Marisa snatches and drinks from it.
    Marisa: (Lifts Reimu) Look, I can pick you up without breaking a sweat! (Reimu dive-kicks her)
    • The next day, everyone who drinks from Kasen's special drinking box behaves like an oni. note 
  • Kasen happens upon Reimu and Byakuren about to have a duel. She starts cheering loudly for Reimu... before revealing that she's bet against her.
    "Reimu always screws up when she gets cocky. There's no safer bet."
  • Chapter 20. Suika pretends to be one of the vendors during a festival. She assures Kasen that no one will recognize her — until Reimu comes in.
    Reimu: (Pointing at Suika's horns) Look! As you can see, she is an Oni. So there's no telling what she added to that sake.
    • Funnily enough, Reimu gets drugged by accident in Chapter 16, hinting at Kasen's true identity.
  • In chapter 21, Marisa wonders if there's anything special in the SDM's own version of the Setsubun festival. note  This consists of eating futomaki while facing east, which Sakuya flat-out states is meaningless, causing Marisa to Face Fault.
    • Before that, Kasen decides to visit Reimu, sees smoke, and wrongly assumes Reimu's in danger. In fact, she's actually cooking beans for the Setsubun festival. Kasen has an Oh, Crap! moment and screams, confusing Reimu. Reimu even invites her to the festival. Komachi laughs out loud when Kasen tells her about it later that night.
  • Chapter 22. Everyone thinks that the Kappa have seen and captured a manzairaku, a rare fish of good fortune, due to its description, but it turns out to be a seal. The seal then starts playing with one of the kappa, causing another to whip out a light saber, just in case.
  • Chapter 23. When Reimu neglects her duties to do fortune-telling instead (to great success), Kasen has a solution: Dress herself in Reimu's shrine maiden outfit.
    • Before that, Reimu cheerfully declares the gods are real after a brief, passing meeting with a lesser god, despite having personally beaten the crap out of at least three bigger deities (Sanae, Kanako, and Suwako) and, y'know, being a shrine maiden. She then tells Kasen and Marisa that she's decided to use her powers to perform fortune-telling.
    Marisa: That hits you now?
    Kasen: (Sighs in disbelief) So what exactly have you been doing as a shrine maiden all this time?!
    • Reimu's success as a fortune teller is partly derived from her continuously dropping hints to visit the Hakurei Shrine with all the subtlety of a brick to the face. Kasen is puzzled by Reimu's sheer greed despite the fact she is, technically, doing her actual job as a shrine maiden. Unfortunately, the success of Reimu's part-time job results in her neglecting her duties at the shrine. This causes Kasen to take action by dressing as Reimu. Sanae's first reaction to the sight is to laugh at her. note 
    • As a result, Reimu's temple becomes overrun by youkai, drastically reducing her popularity as a fortune teller. Reimu blames Kasen, but Kasen adds more insult to injury by showing how Reimu's shrine has been marked as a hangout spot for youkai...including Seija Kijin, whom much of the Touhou cast hates for being a prankster. Thoroughly upset, Reimu gets a wake-up call to her true purpose, and the gathering gets cancelled.
  • Chapter 25. After witnessing one of Sanae's "shady sermons", Marisa wanders off, musing Reimu's moneymaking schemes would be both shadier and dumber, specifically imagining her selling air tubes. Cut to Kasen walking in on Reimu preparing to do exactly that.
  • Chapter 27. How Reimu pays Kogasa Tatara for fixing her needles.
    • Marisa asks if she can keep Reimu's used needles, noting that they have a history. This is accompanied by a panel full of several Touhou bosses, all bandaged after being struck with the needles.
  • Kasen's own subtitle is merely descriptive, while those of other characters' subtitles (likely assigned by her) are usually bluntly honest or insulting. Such as... Sanae: Shallow and Thoughtless Human, Kanako: Self-sustaining Inflexible God, and Suwako: God in Name Alone.
  • Komachi, checking her workload for the day, notices an unscheduled phantom just appeared at the shores of the Sanzu. However, when she arrives, there's no phantom. She stomps off to angrily confront Tenshi, who has a history of fooling around with the Sword of Hisou, but it turns out she's innocent. The phantom was actually Reimu, who, trapped in the shrine for several days of endless raining, decided to eat whatever leftovers she still had around, even if they stank to high heaven and looked so horrible they had to be censored. After Marisa revives her from death's door, she rolls over and complains she's hungry.
  • Chapter 47. Reimu mysteriously collapses and not even Eirin can pinpoint why she isn't waking up. First, Sanae tries to seal the unconscious Reimu. Then, when a worried Youmu drops by, it turns out not only has pretty much everybody else come to gawk, they're having a party with the sleeping Reimu. Nitori's even charging a cover fee under the excuse of a "get-well gift".
  • Chapter 48. Marisa and Sanae are exploring the Hakurei Shrine to see if they can find the thing Reimu was so excited about. Sanae at first thinks Marisa just wants to loot the shrine. While offended, Marisa can't quite deny the allegation. Then, they find a "fuzzy ball", that the reader might mistake for the keseran-pasaran Reimu found a while before. It's actually a rice ball covered in mold.
  • Chapter 50. How does Reimu actually defeat the wicked malice of Kasen's arm? By using the last remaining piece of the blade that originally severed it... as a spellcasting focus for rapid, repeated usage of her bomb spellcard, Fantasy Seal. This is effectively like using cheat codes in the games to spam bombs and smash through everything in your way. And Kasen had to almost literally giftwrap the metal shard for her, plus Tenshi, of all people, had to point out its significance when Reimu refused to even touch the offered meal it was hidden inside. ZUN outright states in the afterword that the whole sequence, like many other moments in this series, was about knocking Reimu down a peg and showing that she's Not So Invincible After All.
    • Kasen actually allowing Reimu to use her arm as part of a fast-money scheme, when she'd spent the entire series frequently mocking or sabotaging them.

Touhou Bougetsushou

  • The entire 4-koma manga of Inaba of the Moon & Inaba of the Earth. Some of the notable events:
    • Any scene where Eirin gives Reisen her punishment.
    • Eirin's happy medicine in the first chapter. The human villagers are shocked by the hyperactive rabbit.
    • Dumpling rabbits.
    • Aya Shameimaru's method of writing an article:
      1) Take photos and interview the witnesses to the event.
      2) Write down the story in the article.
    • Cosplayer Kaguya.
    • Reisen and Tewi end up getting lost inside the Scarlet Devil Mansion during the party. Tewi attempts an Epic Fail way to get back and plays with shadow puppets. Then they stumble upon Flandre (or her silhouette) and realize that they are not alone. She's very happy to see them and intends to play with them. They run for their lives, of course.
    • When Eirin falls sick, Kaguya comes in to take care of her. Hilarity Ensues.
    • Any battle involving Kaguya and Mokou. Especially the time Mokou visits Eientei to return a lost bunny to them (courtesy of Tewi).
    • Suwako's appearance in Eientei. Reisen battles her but gets K.O.'d easily since Suwako's a goddess. Eirin intends to dissect her for her frog legs. Meanwhile, Kaguya intends to fall on Suwako and imprint her onto a T-shirt for good luck.
    • Reisen's dream where Tewi, Eirin, and Kaguya's personalities are completely reversed.
    • The shooting gallery booth at the Sanzu river where the targets shoot back at you.
      • Of course, Komachi's not amused to see Reisen after she gets shot by the "target" and is about to head towards her.
    • Eirin's method of getting rid of Wriggle Nightbug's bug attacks.
    • Tewi's pillage mode.
    • Rabbit Kaguya.
      • During a search for Kaguya, it turns out she got stuck in one of the bamboo plants growing in the store room. The real reason why the bamboo grows too fast: Eirin uses her shady drugs as fertilizer.
    • The appearance of the Moon people ReIsen, Yorihime, and Toyohime visiting Eientei.
      • The real reason why Yorihime joins along is because she's not too happy that only Toyohime gets to go visit.
      • Toyohime's quick food-eating method.
      • Toyohime's attempt to take back one of the Earth rabbits by hiding it inside her hat. Naturally, Yorihime's not too happy the second time she attempts this.

Forbidden Scrollery

  • Marisa thinks that Reimu's shrine is on fire and wants to save her. Turns out it's a false alarm, and Marisa accidentally pours water onto Reimu. Marisa says she did it for fun, which sets Reimu on fire.
    • If you look closely when Marisa is filling the bucket, you can see a shocked Kisume, confused as to what's going on.
  • The first re-enactment story told by Kosuzu, acted out by members of Myorenji Temple. The ending is kind of sad, however, as the Tanuki in the story dies, while Mystia and Kyouko are punished as Shou puts up a sign stating "This story has no relation to Gensokyo's real Myorenji Temple".
    • For that matter, Reimu's and Marisa's commentary about the practicality of fairy tales after Kosozu is done reading.
      Reimu: You can learn from fairy tales. "Momotarou" teaches how to defeat oni. "Kachi-Kachi Mountain" teaches how to defeat youkai tanukis. "The Crab and the Monkey" teaches how to defeat youkai monkeys.
      Marisa: And "Little Red Riding Hood" teaches how to defeat red hoods.
      Reimu: Does it...?
  • Kosuzu reads current affairs magazines from the outside, and concludes that the Berlin Wall and Soviet Union fell because of shoddy construction.
    About a magazine cover with "Historical wave", "1989", and "East Berlin" clearly legible: Since it's got an article about a collapsing wall, maybe it's for architects.
    "The Fall of the Soviet Union"? More collapsing... The outside world sure has a lot of construction defects.
  • Remilia names a Chupacabra 'Tupai'. Frankly speaking, the Chupachabra is afraid of her place.
  • Marisa and the listening hood. The way she wears it really does make her look like a stereotypical Japanese robber. You know, incase you forgot Marisa was a kleptomaniac.
    • While Reimu is sick, she manages to stab her gohei directly onto Marisa's head. Upon seeing it, she assumes Marisa's in some weird religion.
    • After discovering that Marisa's white snake is actually a small dragon, Kosuzu just scolds it for ruining her scroll, rather than being afraid of it.
  • Reimu tries to catch a kitsune in a human school note , but instead gets trolled by it as it leaves graffiti on the panels of a sliding door:
    Sign: Your charms don't scare me.
    Sign: Your napping priestess doesn't scare me.
    • Sure enough, Reimu is angered and intends to go all out... then she and Akyuu notice Kosuzu happily cutting out and saving the grafitti'd squares of paper.
  • Akyuu warns Kosuzu about youkai until Kosuzu says:
    Kosuzu: But... But... Reimu-san is always hanging out with youkai, I think.
    • Akyuu shows a mix of surprise and resignation, while a shocked-looking image of Reimu sprouts from Kosuzu's word balloon. Thanks, Mamizou. note 
  • Once again, the Running Gag of Reisen being punished by Eirin, this time for not telling her about her "supersonic cat statue" that is quite popular.
    • Kosuzu in her fortune teller outfit.
      • When Reimu tells her she's going to burn the book:
      Kosuzu: It's not rare like a youma book, so it's not really that valuable. (Reimu, Marisa, and Akyuu Face Fault)
    • Kosuzu and Marisa's use of the Ouija Board. Kosuzu suggests speaking English, then chants the "Ouija" name while Marisa chants nonsense words. Reimu then happens to enter her shop, having sensed a dark aura again, and punishes both of them.
    • Mamizou's poor camouflage when she infiltrates the Kappa's plantation.
  • Chapter 33: Aya Shameimaru offers to sell her Bunbunmaru newspaper in Suzuunan. Normally, most youkai wouldn't try to tell Kozusu of their existences or their true identities. What does Aya do to make Kosuzu take her offer?
    Aya: In reality... (Wears her tokin) I am a tengu! Did I surprise you?
    • After getting shocked and dumbfounded, Kosuzu quickly heads to Reimu to tell her what happened and to seek her advice. Reimu pretends to be shocked about it, but her mind shows Dull Surprise thinking "A tengu, huh? It's her, isn't it?", automatically knowing the tengu is Aya. After realizing Aya's intentions note  based on Kosuzu's story, Reimu realizes she has no choice but to let Aya sell newspapers in Suzunaan, so she angrily yields.
  • Chapters 42-43; Kosuzu sets up a ghost story event at the shrine. As is the way of things at the shrine, over half the attendees are youkai:
  • Chapter 50:
    • Reimu and Mamizou find an unconscious Marisa who just got beat up by a possessed Kosuzu and take some time figuring out the culprit's nature. Reimu then swears to avenge Marisa... shortly before praying for her and letting Mamizou bury her on the spot.
    Marisa: [Waking up] Hey! Don't kill me off! And don't be so quick to bury me!
    Mamizou: Oh, my! You're alive, dearie?

Alternative Facts in Eastern Utopia

  • One of the advertisements has Marisa selling a limited edition "magic broom", which doesn't appear to be any different from a regular broom.
  • The Scarlet Devil Mansion is hiring fairy maids! Though, if the employees' plastered on smiles are anything to go by, you should probably stay away. Sakuya seems pretty happy, though. Make of that what you will.
  • Miko's speech brings to mind of a certain politician.
  • Marisa gives out horoscopes using spell cards. They aren't very reassuring.
    • Aries gets "Flight Sign "Flying Head"". Your head will come off, but you'll stay conscious for a few moments afterwards, which is lucky.
    • Taurus gets "Big Four Arcanum "Knock Out in Three Steps"". Yuugi will punch you right through your stomach. Because it's a spell card, you won't die.
    • Gemini gets "String Music "Storm Ensemble"". You'll lose your sanity to a nightmarish tune. But you'll get a 1-Up if you and the Tsukumo Sisters share the same taste in music.
    • Cancer gets "Transformation "Bunbuku Hot Soup Bathtub"". You'll get steamed and then eaten. But at least there won't be any scraps left behind.
    • Leo gets "Nue Sign "Danmaku Chimera"". Your true form becomes unrecognizable and you die. "Ain't it lucky that you can muddle up your identity without even havin' to get drunk?"
    • Virgo gets "Instinct "Release of the Id"". Something in your heart will get liberated, and you'll die. People say their hearts stay closed for their entire life, so being able to open yours is pretty lucky.
    • Libra gets "Discernment "Lasers of Seventeen Articles"". You'll get pierced by lasers. But you'll die 17 times worth, which is lucky.
    • Scorpio gets "Poison Sign "Poison Breath"". You'll get poisoned. Luckily, it'll take awhile before the effects kick in.
    • Sagittarius gets "Light Sign "Earthlight Ray"". You'll get stabbed from below and pierced a whole bunch. But meeting Marisa is lucky in and of itself.
    • Capricorn gets "Forbidden Barrage "Starbow Break"". Flandre will most likely kill you in some way. But the fact that she'll kill you using a spell card is quite lucky.
    • Aquarius gets "Horror "Tsurube-Otoshi Apparition"". You'll die from a cerebral contusion. You'll live if you're a blockhead, but you'll suffer a serious head injury. "Don't forget to die thoroughly!"
    • Pisces gets "Hellfire "Infernal Essence of Grazing"". You'll get burned to a crisp by walls of fire. It's not everyday you get to see hellfire, so it's lucky.
  • Doremy somehow managed to trademark the word "sweet" for use in her pillow.
  • Sekibanki got infected with a severe case of text neck. How does that work you might ask? Her neck is now a tangled mess, and it trails behind unbeknownst to her.
  • One of the novels in the book is a mystery story submitted by Akyuu (under her "Agitha Chris Q." penname established in Forbidden Scrollery). More specifically, it's a so-called spin-off of Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok titled "The Mythical Detective: Melissa Series". In it are characters named Melissa, Raymu, Lotus Hijiri, Pachiri Aikyu, Arisu Magaido, Reizen, Aiya, U. U. Cole, and Hattie Tay. So, in other words, a professional writer and chronicler wrote a fanfic, and inserted her friends as Original Characters while trying to be subtle about it.

The Grimoire of Usami

  • The whole book is pretty funny, as to be expected. But one moment in particular pops up when Narumi decides to show off "Hellfire Salvation".
    Narumi: Hee hee, the last danmaku was just laying the groundwork for this next one. My pet fireball was spreading living bullets all over the ground. A never-before-seen firework that shoots up from the audience! No surprise can match this!
    Reimu: Th-This is way too dangerous!
    Marisa: I see, I see, fire bullets shooting up from the audience... wait, that's dangerous!
    Sumireko: So the pet from earlier was spreading all these fire seeds, huh? She's a pretty good schemer, if she could fool even the judges.
    Sakuya: Last time it was imitation flame, but this time it seems to be the real thing. Now she's done it.
    Sanae: Okay, think about this really, REALLY, carefully. Shooting fire from the ground isn't surprising, that's the most orthodox firework there is!
  • One scene near the beginning has Sumireko trying to use Google only to find out there's no cell service.
  • One panel in the manga has Seija giving an indirect Panty Shot. In an official work, no less!
  • Sumireko's reaction to "Rage 'First and Last of Its Kind Scolding Scorch'", complete with a different typeface.
    Sumireko: OMG, he shot eyebeams lololol! I can't stop laughing! Seriously, I can't breathe *wheeze*!!
  • And which spell card do we end on? "Unauthorized Danmaku Photography is Strictly Prohibited". And who's been taking pictures of danmaku throughout this whole thing?
    Sumireko: I took so many photos though... Wait, don't tell us at the end!

Alternative Title(s): Touhou


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