Villain Critique Thread (Because Its About Damn Time!)

You could say he is arguably Made of Evil, but he had a full choice of whether or not he wanted to be evil.

Also, I hope my villain doesn't count as plagiarism.

edited 5th Jan '18 8:42:11 PM by superboy313

Nah, that type of villain is a archetype of its own, from Ahiraman from Zoroastrianism The smartest interpretations of a unsympathetic Satan-Lucifer, to The Trope Codifier Nyarlatothep to Bill Cipher and a lot of more villains that had their own identity

The problem is that my villain shares the exact same name as the Mundus from DMC. He even has the same Fallen Angel motif.

I was also considering giving him a Third Eye.

Then give him another name, put more emphasis on his non-angel forms. He can work perfectly.

Now seriously, someone might comment on The Sophia' Avatars?

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13503408720A04680100&page=47#1173

edited 5th Jan '18 9:38:43 PM by KazuyaProta

I agree with Kazuya Prota: I would suggest changing the name, and/or focusing on what makes your character different from the other similar character. As long as yours isn't clearly an expy of the other one, a couple of similarities won't hurt.

The avatars are great. Very interesting characters^note especially White Face, each with their own niche, quirks, and logical weaknesses to balance out their power. Excellent job.

Thing is, I like the name WAY too much. There was also a Zelda villain named Yuga, who looks a lot like and shares the same name with a character in Samurai Shodown, and there didn't seem to be any problems with that.

Hey guys. I'm a guy who was browsing the forums, and, as a firm believer in the value of a good villain, I think this thread is a godsend.

About Mundus... I think its a great villain concept! The God of Evil who thinks that humans are their playthings is a thoroughly terrifying concept to me. I also like how his most common form is that of a handsome angel. That kind of Face of an Angel, Mind of a Demon vibe is always nice to see in a villain, as it creates an impressive duality. However, I think you should definitely change the name, just to make it stand out from Devil May Cry.

Now, I'd like to present one of my villains, from the series of film treatments I've been working on. The title of the first installment is Llewellyn Hooke and the Trials of Solomon, and it sees the titular character, a ragtag Adventurer Archaeologist, team with his estranged uncle to find the lost treasure of King Solomon. Naturally, no good treasure hunt story is complete without a rival, so, here goes...

Name: Akil Mustafa, a.k.a. "The God of the Dead"

Age: 33 (roughly the same as age as Hooke)

Personality: Calm, collected, and cunning. Charming, but he is able to turn this off like a faucet. Arrogant, but not impulsive. Genuinely cares for his right-hand man Langstrom, whom he loves like an older brother.

Abilities: Skilled marksman/strategist. Rich, with an army of loyal cronies under his ploy. Highly intelligent and Dangerously Genre-Savvy.

Weaknesses: Prideful. Not the best hand-to-hand fighter.

Backstory: Mustafa is the head of a Cairo-based drug empire, which he recently inherited from his late father. He quickly made a name for himself among the criminal underworld for his ruthless nature, earning the nickname of "the God of the Dead" for his aggressive executions of his enemies. No one dares cross him, for fear of earning his wrath.

Role: Big Bad. Seeing the money to be made in looting tombs, Mustafa starts sending his mooks to plunder archaeological sites. One of these sites is being examined by Hooke's uncle, Professor Ignacio Bautista, from whom Mustafa steals a disk holding an encoded map to King Solomon's treasure. When Hooke steals the disk back, Mustafa decides to find the treasure of Solomon first to spite him, tailing him across Africa, recruiting local militias to help search for Hooke, killing Hooke's love interest, and eventually kidnapping Ignacio to lead him to Solomon's riches. All the while, Mustafa remains adamant that he and Hooke are "two sides of the same coin": ruthless fortune hunters that will do anything for a quick buck. Of course, Hooke has a more than a few Morality Pets, as well as a moral code which keep him from being the villain that Mustafa is.

Goals: To find the lost treasure of Solomon, and kill whoever stands in his way

Motivations: Greed, and wounded pride. When Hooke steals the disk from him, he sees it as a personal challenge, and spends the whole story trying to prove himself the smarter, better man.

Relevant Tropes: Evil Counterpart, Faux Affably Evil, Smug Snake, Dangerously Genre-Savvy, Pride, Not So Different

I'd love to know what you guys think!

edited 5th Jan '18 10:42:16 PM by JoeBlitz

A fascinating take on a God of the Dead, just beware of having him fall into the common route of Everybody Hates Hades. Give people a personal reason to despise him instead of him just being the god of the dead and that being "enough" or setting that perception.

I figure I should show the updated version of Elwood's character sheet to go with the short story. He changed a bit, and I think this kind of shows both where he comes from and why he became such a vile villain.

• Name: Elwood Sexton

• Age: 19? (telling the age of those affiliated with the Dark Gods can get tricky)

• Personality: Elwood did not become the depraved hedonist he is today over night - he spiraled into that as a direct reaction. He identifies himself as someone humiliated, repeatedly punched down at, denied any dignity and any complaint he might have had ended up laughed off - he was the Butt-Monkey of the cast and a dark take at what those kinds of antics happening to someone does to them. Elwood despises his parents, his father especially but his mother for just sitting aside and allowing her son to be belittled and bullied, while raising hell if something untoward shows up toward Elwood's sister Angelina. He was more of a lover of love and life's pleasures whereas his father Brock - a retired marine - wanted a soldier. Elwood was also sensitive, enjoyed the arts and cooking - and it seemed everyone abused him for these less than typical masculine interests. When the acts of those around him eroded his mentality and sanity, he began to undertake his pursuits more in depth to try to escape, which only led to further frustration and suppressed hatred for those around him. His personality began to distort and that, it seems, is when Zayufur - Dark God of the Forbidden and Defilement - started to seriously evaluate him. He went with the other future Dark God Champions to the Blessed Tear magical event when The Masquerade failed, and he dreamed of a world of unbridled pleasure...and pain, for those who had given him nothing but derision. He had well and truly became devoted to excess - and damn to a very special hell anyone who would deny him his excesses. People, in his mind, pushed him to these very excesses by disparaging him for everything else - and so they have no right to complain. Zayufur contacted him when his ideal world faded due to Matthew's actions, and he swore himself to this being - mind body and soul, for Zayufur embodied everything he'd come to know. Excess, undertaking the forbidden, and forsaking common morality when it stops fitting his desires. He is more however than just a rapist - he embodies the corruptive and persuasive elements of Zayufur - playing to people's desires and wants, using every bit of information to twist a heart. He views it as a service to those around him, liberating them from the boring life they lead and guiding them into abandoning everything but their own desire. His sense of the arts and want to make perfect displays has become a sense of deranged combat aestheticism - he is a Blood Knight, yes, but vastly more in the direction of the Combat Sadomasochist and Psycho for Hire. He doesn't want to just kill you - he wants the body to be a work of art that will wow his Umbral Horde Caith underlings.

• Abilities: Elwood wears the serpentine Aeon Killer armor, which gives him two additional arms made of Magitech, a long appearance, and amazing speed and force. He wields four special "Serpent Swords", which are semi-alive themselves and controlled by his mind - each can extend, and open mouths, which carry fangs which inject a venom that unnaturally heightens both pleasure and pain in his victims - those affected most often fail to notice certain things due to the effect it has. Elwood also makes use of certain magic types that work better the more pain and other sensations he feels - which are heightened by a number of runes across both his body and his armor.

• Weaknesses: He's got a bit of an ego going now - he cannot resist letting someone know the dirty little details, and his perfectionism can be easy to exploit. He is largely technique based as a fighter, and so doing brusque, sudden moves can surprise him...though, this usually Only Works Once, after which he becomes used to that certain surprise tactic.

• Goals: Enjoy himself, obtain revenge on those who'd basically used him for their own amusement, and show those who showed him nothing but disrespect what he brings to them now.

• Motivation: His downright abusive childhood and teen times, and the sheer lack of care anyone really showed for him. If nobody cares, well then, he will show a similar lack of care for them and pursue his own amusement at their cost.

• Role in the Story: The Dark Chick of Caine's Umbral Horde. The Heavy later on, leading one of the largest forces in the field in Book V, at least on the Chaos / Disorder Side. Defeating Elwood and The Combined Angel are tasks given the same importance.

• Backstory: Elwood came from a rather troubled family - his father was a marine who attempted to implement his drill sergeant tactics on his son, to disastrous effect, and his mother was a distant woman heavily implied to be cheating on her husband. Elwood was always more of an artistic and theatrical child, never the soldier his father desired. His father became cruder and more abusive, thinking Elwood just needed more motivation. His father called him all sorts of homophobic names, and even alleged Elwood was a "tranny" for liking make up. And for all this, his mother just ignored it and focused on her adored daughter Angeline, who herself viewed Elwood as an embarrassment and enjoyed hurting him "comically". Elwood internally simmered with rage, despising his family and everything they stood for. The locals were no less cruel - he was humiliated and made fun of for his nature. He was at one point dumped in the trash for going out with a girl one of the more popular guys had went out with. He eventually ran away when his father threatened to send him to military academy - and linking up through this with the other future Dark God Champions. Elwood's desire for revenge was played to when they reached the Blessed Tear, enjoying himself thoroughly within a fantasy world at the expense of any who had in the real world acted against him, in drastic fashion. Elwood was shaken out of his fantasy world when the Blessed Tear collapsed, and Zayufur approached him with a Deal - serve her as her Champion, and she would make sure everyone who had hurt him would pay. He could not sign on fast enough.

• Tropes:
• Agent Peacock: Almost literally - the Aeon Killer armor has a number of peacock plumes emerging from his back. The armor is also gaudy and glitzy - neon colors in garish combinations and a phallic head structure. He is still not one you should fight - he lies about his powers, and makes every effort to minimize the effort his foe can exert.
• Always a Bigger Fish: To Luke and all other horrific Violators. They may be scary and malicious...but they at the end of the day learned all their horrible behaviors from Elwood.
• Body Horror: Elwood's murder / snuff film of Lance's brother resulted in a "body" that can only loosely be called that.
• Butt-Monkey: A deconstruction of the very idea - his suffering and bad circumstances looked comical from the outside - some regarding him like a comedy anime character who gets pushed around, deals with "hilariously" abusive parents, and always gets back up...and then the extent of the mental damage was revealed. And he swore himself to a Dark God that sponsors horrific actions and defilement.
• Cain and Abel: Angelina was something of a Alpha Bitch, but she is horrified by what Elwood has become.
  • Brother–Sister Incest: Averted surprisingly - when Elwood is asked if he wants to violate his sister, he says even now the idea holds utterly no appeal. He wants to kill her and humiliate her for her role in his humiliation, but involving sexuality is disgusting to him because in his view she doesn't deserve that kind of contact.
• Combat Sadomasochist and Combat Aestheticist: His fighting style blends these two tropes - prioritizing both beauty and pain. Pain he is just as open about receiving and using to fuel his own spells.
• The Corrupter: He was originally The Corruptible, and now he seeks out those desperate or weak enough to need his "services", corrupting them into assisting him. And as Luke Locke shows, he is also receptive to boredom and averting it.
• Creepy Souvenir: He took his father's head in as his souvenir - he occasionally talks to it, mostly asking how disgusted he'd be right now if he could talk in reaction to whatever Elwood is doing that week.
• Cultured Badass: How Elwood tries to show himself as - but instead he comes off as creepy and deranged.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: Elwood basically crushed Sorano in their encounter - essentially showing the Scions were on a different level than past foes. He cemented it by stabbing Sorano in the shoulder with Anatheme (which was on loan to him from Caine), enjoying the damage the sword did to his foe.
  • Elwood vs. his father was utterly one sided, with Elwood basically taking his time to crush mutilate and kill the man he blamed for most of his suffering.
• Depraved Bisexual: His actions and his sexuality were initially separate before his Deal, but after, his sexuality developed an extremely sadomasochistic edge, and consent ceased to matter.
• Desecrating the Dead: The Violators and their warlord are infamous for this - if they don't take slaves, they take up and do horrible things to the corpses of important enemies. I Love the Dead included, they are fond of propping corpses up in disturbed sexual poses and in conditions that would astound and horrify anyone who looks.
  • Elwood took special care desecrating his father's dead body, indicating just how much sheer hate Elwood had for him. He kept the head for his personal abuse, while pulling a Vlad the Impaler with a long stick coming out his father's neck stump, with a bunch of smaller skewers protruding from the body. The amount of struggling indicates Elwood put the skewers in prior to killing him.
• The Dog Bites Back: For the longest time, Elwood was the comic relief - he was pushed around, made fun of, had misfortune happen to him and everyone laughed. Now he's dedicated to changing the reaction to making everyone cry or scream.
  • First and foremost, tracking his father down after obtaining his armor. Queue the downright horrific looking Elwood pulling up in front of him and then unleashing a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown, followed by Cold-Blooded Torture and a horribly painful death. "You...you were a terrible father. All I was...was just a toy, something to march exactly as you wanted. You always did say you wanted me to fight in a war and become as "tough" and "hard" as you did. Be careful what you wish for, dear father."
  • Then there's his manner of fighting in Sandfield - he tries to make sure the entire place is damaged as much as possible, as a statement to his disdain for the place.
• Double Standard: Rape, Male on Male: Averted - his sexual assaults on men are treated just as abominably and as horrific as his attacks on women.
• The Dragon: His is Luke Locke - the most successful corruption case he made.
• Even Evil Has Standards: He despises Caine's "derivative mecha tank", though not for any moral reasons - he hates it because the girl being put inside will "most likely never feel anything ever again - truly a nightmare of a scenario."
  • Subverted later - he does have standards...which make no moral sense and which paint a picture of his mentality. He says he despises the Steubenville Rapists...because they attacked an unconscious victim. For Elwood, his crime is all about the experience and the horror and degradation of his victim. "If the target was not awake...what experience do you disgusting animals have to show for it!? What screams did you listen to? What struggle did you luxuriate in? You are BORING. And I do not tolerate boring people in my Umbral Horde Caith!"
• Evil Laugh: As seen in the short story, he mostly does soft little chuckles that nonetheless allude to his ill intentions.
• Expy: Caine invokes the trope in universe - he wants to tell a very, very specific story. He intended Elwood to be his answer to Fulgrim. Elwood...laughs at this to Matthew, when he took it a certain way. "Ohh my, Matthew - I am well aware what the Scion thinks of me and his approach to this war. You have a less insane nerd with you...what did Shin say of me? Am I trapped in a painting? ...What a laugh. I'm my own man. There is no evil blade, no painting - I saw all you and this whole damned town saw fit to do to me, and I leaped for this. Say I fell - what a grand, enjoyable fall it was! Let me be clear. When Caine razes this whole damned place, I'll make sure to give your corpses the respect I feel they deserve - none."
• Fantastic Drug: He made Asmalo Black, a drug that forces a heightened state of mind on the user and results in hallucinations, heightened desire for depraved things, and loss of empathy...and made sure to distribute it on the streets of urban and rural locations.
• Fate Worse than Death: Being captured by Caith / The Violators - with being captured by Elwood even worse than other examples. He has a preference for "ingenues", enjoying corrupting, ruining or destroying innocent people, and doing horrible things to those who can't be so easily corrupted. Just see what he did to Lance's brother...for six hours straight.
• From Nobody to Nightmare: Caine seems to have worked to make this a thing - Elwood is one of those who went from a total nobody to one of the most powerful and dangerous Dark God worshipers, which shows during Book V. Elwood is viewed as one of the most dangerous Umbral Horde leaders due to his group's proclivities.
• Genre Savvy: Elwood is no schmuck - he revealed his powers as people are wont to do in anime and fantasy...only to be revealed to be lying about those powers.
• God Guise: Among other things, he poisoned a local benign serpent god in heavily forested India, and twisted his followers into a hedonistic cult. The serpent god was horrified, and only just managed to contact Matthew to let him know what was going on. "The peacock snake...he is ruining my people. He twists their hearts, he entices them to terrible eroticism, and drives them to massacre and destruction."
• Hope Crusher: The Violators shtick - they do everything they can to crush the morale of everyone they go up against, and pair this with quick and vicious attacks. Very quickly during his stay in India, the local police and defense force become utterly unwilling to fight further. "He killed six of our men and...and did something with their bodies. I cannot describe it, it was too vile. None of us want to be next."
• Ho Yay: In Elwood's opinion, Aaron Cascade, his fellow Champion "has a beautiful, tall and muscled body" and wants to do all sorts of perverse things with him. Aaron however views it as No Yay considering Elwood's nature.
• It Amused Me: In his opinion, the amusement others took of his pain and humiliation means he can amuse himself at their pain and degradation.
• Loves the Sound of Screaming: "If I cannot acquire the admiration of the masses, I will luxuriate in their madness and their screams and keening deathly wails."
• Manipulative Bastard: Elwood toys with emotions, wants and desires - he is first and foremost corruptive, corrosive to the mentality of others, and masterminds both degradation and falling into evil. More than just being a rapist villain, he takes a degree of pride in making them. He is also however skilled at playing to the desires and motivations of others. The army division sent to the Green Wall might as well be known as the Third Marionettes Division for how thoroughly Elwood conned them en mass.
• Morph Weapon: Between a writhing living serpent and a normal sword - and he is, despite his own words on the subject, capable of changing modes on the fly and extremely quickly.
• The Perfectionist: He was only ever able to acquire a bit of recognition if his work was perfect, so even when he rejects his father he still is habitually a perfectionist. This translates into his more depraved later actions via drilling the Violators constantly and enforcing better fighting in their fast, deadly and dangerous style.
• Rape as Drama: Not the only kind of evil he practices, but one he is recognized most for in universe. There's his internal never live it down moment, and everything he did in India and in Book V.
• Rape, Pillage, and Burn: And often not in that necessary order - the Violators in many aspects represent the worst fleshy excesses of war. They were by and large held back during Caine's reign, but afterwards there was nothing to keep them from doing whatever they wanted.
• Reptiles Are Abhorrent: Even early on he is called a snake - and later on, he owns the supposed insult, calling himself the Serpentine Prince. Serpents like Orochi, the Snake of Eden, the Lernaean Hydra and Ouroboros play into Umbral Horde Caith finery and designs quite a lot. Snakes represent virility, ambition, cruelty, vice and temptation - all things involved in Caith and their leader. Elwood's armor makes him resemble, as God Guise showed, a peacock feathered snake. And abhorrent just about describes Umbral Horde Caith perfectly.
• Revenge: Joining up with Zayufur, forming the Violators, and marching with Caine was all about Elwood's personal revenge against everyone who had slighted him in ways big or small. He takes the most enjoyment torture-murdering his abusive father, explicitly stating this was all for the countless years of being called a fag, a sissy and a loser.
• Self-Made Orphan: Murders his own father in disturbingly violent fashion.
• Sense Freak: Devoted to knowing sensations - and in tune with Zayufur, because pursuing such a thing is wrong and frowned upon in modern society. He knows how wrong his ideas are...and that is half the fun for him.
• Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny: His desperately traditional father put this notion in his head - any kind of sex done for pleasure is evil / bad / wrong. So he decided to embrace it and do literally everything he could, knowing and eliciting pleasure from the idea of his father not approving of it.
• Sissy Villain: He is certainly fond of preening, and is an Agent Peacock - he's fond of some rather flamboyant displays, and his armor is gaudy as all hell.
• Soft-Spoken Sadist: His voice is described constantly as cooing and being conducted in a light and whispered tone of voice.
• The Starscream: Played with; despite acting it every bit, he never once makes a move on Caine, perhaps indicating pragmatic villainy - even Elwood knew Caine was just short of unstoppable. Nothing he did could kill him.
• Sympathy for the Hero: Surprisingly played straight and for horror given the consequences. Elwood...actually well and truly sympathized with Lance's situation...but, it is what he did in the name of this sympathy that shows him as a monster now. He honestly thought Lance would appreciate waking up and being able to see all the myriad horrible things Elwood did to his little brother in return for what the little brother did to Lance.
• Too Kinky to Torture: Torture just plain does not work on Elwood - he just takes it as foreplay and encourages you to go further, which can have some disastrous effects.
• Torture Porn: What he did to Lance's brother - in all of the 6 hour recording surprisingly little sexuality was involved - most of it was just torture for Elwood's viewing pleasure. And he honestly thought Lance would appreciate his "taste in art".
• With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: Becoming more powerful did not do his sanity any favors. He was already an unhinged man, but becoming Zayufur's champion only resulted in everything getting worse.

edited 5th Jan '18 11:00:47 PM by NickTheSwing

Mustafa's not a literal God of the Dead . He's just an Egyptian mob boss who was given the title for his brutality. I also made sure as I was writing the story to have him cross the Moral Event Horizon at some point. He starts of as just a rival, albeit a dangerous one, but he quickly crosses into villain territory when he tortures Hooke's love interest to death.

I like Elwood's backstory. The Tragic Monster approach is always a nice one to take for a sociopathic villain, but I have to ask; is the backstory intended to draw sympathy for Elwood's actions, or does the character subvert the Freudian Excuse to the point where he can be considered a Complete Monster?

edited 5th Jan '18 11:03:21 PM by JoeBlitz

His excuse explains his actions, and that is made clear in story - it never excuses his actions.

I'm honestly... Akward at Elwood and the very concept of the Violators, they're pretty much squick, the characters.

And Elwood sexuality is just akward, having a Depraved Bisexual Agent Peacock that was abused for his family as a Hate Sink Complete Monster is just akward, I already had issues with characters like Griffith for that and with Elwood, whose gender issues are a biggest part of his character, just make me even more akward

Also, I'm also having a Villain that is a case of Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil Villia n, so I might be just a hypocrite

edited 5th Jan '18 11:39:58 PM by KazuyaProta

As far as Elwood being a Complete Monster, I do wonder how his take at sympathizing with people and "helping" them relates to such a trope, namely, his attempt at "helping" Lance - because in his state, he honestly believes that is what he did. He saw himself in Lance's humiliation and hurt - and THAT was what Elwood thought was needed to rectify it.

Well, this is a Kazuya Prota villain that is mean to invoque Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil, because I feel the need of posting it.

She is from another work, her world is in the same Multiverse as Sophia and Kudlak, but their stories are totally unrelated.

Let's meet she

Name: Mary Joanna Roanoke AKA Miss Mary

Age : 27

Appareance : I don't know honestly, she's a hot teacher that initially looks meek and cute but can be seductive and sensual, I don't know if make her a Redhead or giving her brown or dark hair, or even if her hair is long or short (I'm more for a long haired Redhead with good breast size and overall well developed body)

Backstory and goals :

Ugh, this is where this becomes ugly.

She's a ephebophile, plain and simple. She loves the idea of youth and people that embodify it in her eyes, usually going for attractive socially troubled males, usually Troubled, but Cute guys.

She was born and raised for a single father that tried to keep his youth by constantly having affairs with younger woman, going so far to actually start having sex with her classmates when she was a Highschooler. She stopped caring for him and directed her feelings to males, and ultimately, she repeated the same patron as her father.

(that like Elwood backstory just works like a explanation for her actions, not as way to sympathize with her, You can sympathize with 15 years old Mary seeing how her father fucks her classmates, but 27 years old Mary is No Sympathy personified, no matter what Akira would think because Akira is a sexist jerk despite being a good person.)

Mary gets a Job in the new Spanish city of Ventana del Futuro (Window of Future) as a teacher of Saint Thomas, a School famous for its discipline and for having reformed several young delinquents into geniuses.

And she obviously starts getting preys, her first victim was a late 15 years old guy that actually consented her until He realized that having a secret relationship with your teacher that will always cover your notes in her matter is actually, quite bad. He left her because he feels like he's cheating in school (he's right, Mary basically did her homework), things got messy and Mary forced him to have "a last dance before saying goodbye" (AKA she forced him to have sex a last time before leaving her) under the "jokingly" treat of ruining the classification of his little sister, ruining her chance to be in her ideal university (she can't get into her ideal university if she had disapproved one single assignature)

After that, she was having casual sex with some students, usually under treat but because she was a attractive woman and they were horney teens, she believed that was totally fine, especially compared to his father having sex with high school girls (that to her is something hyper gross, despite being the same that what she's doing). Most of her victims usually brag about it but she clearly had left actual scars into others (and even the ones that brag about it eventually start to reflect about it and realize that what she did is fucking awful.)

She had basically, turned her classes (because actually got several promotions using the success of her students as a reason for it - she had a talent for finding genius and teens with potential, she fucks them and then help them to get actual support from their talents, if she wasn't a ephebophile, she would be a amazing teacher) into a landmine of corruption, where being handsome and fucking the teacher is the real way to have a secured success, where your notes can change depending of how much she likes you. And how a famous school can hide it?..

>Rumors of a teacher having sex with students? A hot one? Where was she when I was a teen!

>Anyway, we know that a real lady like Miss Mary wouldn't do that, she's just a hard working woman that come from a awful family, she's just a poor unlucky woman, you're just jealous of her success

This go so much, that she was only discovered for another teacher, Mr. Rahkaran, a Scary Black Man jerkass athletism teacher, who had a Even Evil Has Standards moments (Rahkaran is just a jerk, Mary is a Criminal) and decided oposse her and tried desperately to convince his student to denunciate her.

He failed and he got the hate of Mary, who become awfully Genre Savvy about ideas of rape in Highschool.

If someday, she gets acussed of rape for a guy, besides being fully confident that she wouldn't be convicted (because her city only define Rape as introducing objects Into the Vaginal and Anal orifices, or forcing someone under treat of extreme physical violence) she also blackmailed a attractive girl with low self esteem and even lower classifications (AKA the perfect Woobie) into acussing Mr Rahkaran from raping her.

Charismatic Attractive Teacher supposedly had Sex with a student vs Rude Scary Black Man apparently raped a poor white girl.

Mary is awfully aware of who will lost his job even if proven innocent while she had high chances of get away with everything without any actual lose

Then, when the main story starts, she is one of the persons inside the Saint Thomas school when it got dragged to the Nightmare World, she awaken her "Armor" because her awfully active willpower (a armor is basically, a Mini-Mecha created on base of the mind of its owner) and then, without restrictions of laws and in a world filled with teenagers, she can truly be herself. When external factors start appearing, she learns to how actually fight and ultimately, she becomes The Brute for the real villains of the plot, a force of power that provide a lot of physical danger to all the heroes.

Basically, she got the classic Role of the evil Blood Knight in a mecha series.

edited 6th Jan '18 1:01:28 AM by KazuyaProta

Alright, here's a revised version of the post for my villain Mundus. The previous post was my very first time posting here and I want to get a better idea of what he is and find more opinions from other tropers here.

Name: Mundus

Age: Unknown (likely around 2,000)

Personality: Mundus is evil in its purest form; embodying all of the worst aspects of human nature. Cruel, apathetic, emotionless, arrogant, and above all, evil. Such is his malice that he commits atrocities against mankind for no reason other than his own amusement. Like triggering wars, spreading diseases, manipulating the public and governments, businesses that serve his own twisted purposes, and so on.

Mundus is also highly sadistic, often subjecting his victims to incredibly cruel situations and having them tortured for whatever reasons. He also likes killing them with his bare hands; often in ferocious manners. In addition, he has a dark sense of humor. Occasionally cracking jokes that one may find inappropriate given the situation.

When dealing with humans, Mundus offers them deals that will grant any wish they desire. Be it money, fame, fortune, or power. These deals have benefits only in the short term. In the long run, they only end up bringing misfortune. Usually due to whatever flaw the client has.

Despite his vile and depraved nature, Mundus is a very charismatic individual. Speaking in a very polite and charming tone. Of course this is merely a facade for the beast that lies within.

Abilities: Mundus is a godlike being with a wide range of demonic abilities. Which includes total dominion over all lesser demons under his command, taking on many different forms, and vast divine power. His power is so immense that he can even manipulate reality. This can used to grant wishes, control matter, space, and time. In battle, his most commonly used power is energy projection, which he shoots from his eyes.

He also has acute awareness of events that occur throughout the multiverse. Which includes alternate timelines. As such, he appears virtually omniscient. Mundus can also see an infinite number of possible outcomes in the future.

Probably his biggest strength is his cunning. He is a master of trickery and manipulation and has a intricate understanding of human nature. Their individual flaws and weaknesses can be exploited by the demon in other to make them into his pawns.

Weaknesses: As expected from a demon, Mundus is vulnerable to weapons of divine origin. However, it depends on how powerful they are. If they are weak, then it wouldn't damage him much. But probably his biggest weakness is his inability to comprehend good. He gets why people who oppose him have morals that compel them to act in certain ways but doesn't understand WHY such things are important. This often becomes the one flaw in his schemes.

Goals: Destroy all that is good and pure.

Motivations: His own amusement.

Role in the Story: Big Bad. Also a Greater-Scope Villain in side stories.

Backstory: Not much is known about Mundus' past. Other than that he was born in the deepest, darkest depths of the Abyss long ago. Some time after his birth, he first learned about humanity by viewing Ancient Rome from his home dimension. He became intrigued by them and decided they would be his playthings for all eternity. So Mundus amassed an army of demons and set out to bring chaos and misery down on the Earth. But he didn't stop there, he spread his influence across the universe. Becoming a figure of dread among many sentient beings.

Relevant Tropes:

• Big Bad: The biggest bad of them all. And he is always pulling the strings.
• The Corrupter: Can reach out into one's deepest desires and use them to brainwash them.
• Deal with the Devil: He will often give unsuspecting souls anything they want in exchange for something. And it never ends well for the client.
• Eldritch Abomination: At one point he appears as a writhing mass of flesh with multiple eyes. Whether it's his true form or him shapeshifting is debatable.
• Expy: He is modeled and named after the villain Mundus from the Devil May Cry series of video games. Specifically from the first game.
• Faux Affably Evil: Often speaks with a polite tone when conversing with others when the monster within is painfully obvious to see.
• Light Is Not Good: Despite being a demon, he often assumes the form of a incredibly handsome angel with a brilliant wingspan.
• Master of Disguise: Can shapeshift into many different forms. Including certain people.
• Our Demons Are Different: He is a demon god born in a nightmarish dimension filled with abominations yet appears an an angel.
• Physical God: Oh yes. He is definitely more than qualified for godhood and is in second place on the cosmic hierarchy.
• Reality Warper: Mundus can reshape the fabric of reality itself to his liking. Such as granting wishes for his clients and tampering with the very foundation of creation.
• Satanic Archetype: Is arguably even worse than the actual Devil himself. Whereas Satan is a created being with limited power and whose defeat is given from day one, Mundus is an actual embodiment of evil and is only prevented from winning by the forces of light being ever vigilant.

And that's my revised post. What you guys think?

edited 6th Jan '18 7:31:32 PM by superboy313

I still like him, he's a pretty good villain, a pretty good Big Bad with the necessary legendary status to work narratively, what could be interesting is that if he manage to be several types of villains at once, just a suggestion. Make him able to imitate the personality of several other types of villains.

Also, you need to comment previous examples before posting your own

I think Ms. Mary is absolutely repulsive (which is a complete success when a villain is concerned), but I wonder what exactly her motive for becoming The Brute is. I get the feeling you mean that she was always a twisted sociopath, and the new location merely gives her the means to come out as the depraved psycho she is, but I'm not sure.

Alright, time for my next villain. This one is from the sequel to the first story that I previously posted about, Llewellyn Hooke and the Carnage in Paradise. In this story, Hooke is recruited by the head of a Christian cult to find the legendary Garden of Eden, the birthplace of humanity. Along the way, Hooke does battle with a sadistic terrorist leader, starts a forbidden romance with his employer's sheltered adult daughter, and discovers that his employer is hiding a dark secret. This story is far Darker and Edgier than The Trials of Solomon, doubling as a pulse-pounding action-adventure and a social commentary on the dangers of religious fanaticism. Rediscovering his faith is the core of Hooke's character arc, and the story also introduces supernatural elements that were absent in The Trials of Solomon.

But enough talk, ladies and gentlemen, I present you with the first of the two main villains...

Name: Faris Merikh (born Faris Mahmoud)

Age: 45

Personality: Merikh is a complete sadist, contrasting his violent methods with a jovial and joking demeanor. He is narcissistic, unpredictable, calculating, and ambitious. He enjoys hurting others, and prefers knives to any other means of inflicting pain. Despite his background as a Muslim extremist, he shows time and time again that religion means little to him other than a justification for his heinous actions.

Abilities: Like Akil Mustafa, Merikh is highly intelligent, masterfully strategizing terrorist attacks and military operations. He is a skilled gunman/hand-to-hand combatant, and his complete Lack of Empathy means he's willing to cross any moral boundary to get what he wants.

Weaknesses: Merikh angers easily, especially when his ego is bruised. This makes him easy to manipulate, as shown in the story's climax when Hooke makes him lose his temper by mocking his impotence, leading to his death.

Backstory: Merikh was born Faris Mahmoud, the son of a Saudi-Arabian billionaire. He struggled with relationships due to his impotence, which is the reason for his constant use of a knife; he gets sexual gratification from using a knife to penetrate people, and killing is the only way he can get off. Radicalized in his late twenties, Merikh killed his own father to inherit his billions, which he then used to buy weapons for his cause. Idolizing Ghanzafar Terzi, a psychopathic Turkish general in the Crusades that was looking for the Garden of Eden, Merikh eventually went rogue, forming his own terrorist organization to follow in his idol's footsteps and locate the Garden of Eden.

Role: One half of the story's Big Bad Ensemble. Merikh is the villain that is established as a threat straight away, unlike his counterpart who is later revealed to be Evil All Along. Merikh finds Terzi's diaries, which he forces an innocent linguist to decipher, leading him to invade Tel Aviv when he discovers that the map to Eden is in a sunken ship off the coast of Israel. Hooke gets to the map first, but Merikh manages to steal it back when Hooke's employer's battered wife betrays him to Merikh. Merikh abducts Hooke's love interest, intending to make her a sex slave to "keep his men's morale high" while they search for the Garden. Merikh is the biggest threat Hooke faces in the whole story, simply for his complete lack of mercy and sanity.

Goals: To find the Garden of Eden, and use the fruit of the Tree of Life to become immortal.

Motivations: Sadism, narcissism, and a longing to be as much of a monster as his idol Terzi.

Relevant Tropes: Bad Boss, Blood Knight, Self-Made Orphan,The Sociopath, Sadist, Villainous Breakdown

edited 6th Jan '18 3:42:11 PM by JoeBlitz

Well, as long there more Muslims besides him and his gang, I would like him

But...why the sexual impotence? And making it the reason for his sadism? Men with sexual impotence already had too many issues to be associated with violence to compensate their physical issues. That just makes him a problematic character.

And about Miss Mary, she becomes The Brute initially for need, but then she learns to enjoy it, especially because she gets allied with the Big Bad and The Heavy who just straight up encourages awful inmoral behavior (they're working For a God of Evil Made of Evil, is kinda obvious).

Miss Mary is less a character for herself, and more a walking moral test for the characters.

Akira, The Rival and leader of The Resistance initially don't believe any of the acussations of rape believing them to be rumors based on his belief of Females Are More Innocent, and when he finally discover the truth, he justifies her saying that while she's immature she's redeemable (boys are boys, I'm a teenager myself, she's corrupt but not a rapist) just because she was nice to him (because she wanted to fuck him) and because he also wanted have sex with her, Akira and actual empathy are pretty much opossites, Akira is well intentioned but he's awful at that. He just accepts her as a monster when he meets a actual victim of hers that calls him on his ridiculous Double Standard (Akira was one of the students that believed the rumors of Mr Rahkaran being a rapist because ideas of how only males can be rapists).

Despite that, Miss Mary Real Arch-Enemy is Ethical Slut Gyaru Joanna who is just opossed to her in like, everything, both have active sexual lifes but while Joanna lives for the creed of Sane Safe And Consentual, Miss Mary is a just a rapist.

Mary is even a biggest Political Incorrect Villain regarding her, because Joanna had dark skin (she dyes her hair to be blonde, but her "tan" is just her natural skin paled down a bit), Mary shows clear racism towards her and her brother (just like with Mr Rahkaran), going so far to kidnap her Love Interest Arthur with the clear intention of raping him, because "he needs a real woman, not a child-slut like you" and saying that Arthur is just interesed on her because exotism "Arthur just think of you as a dark elf or something from his fantasy books!"

Ultimately, Miss Mary is a utterly despicable woman that is willing to cause the apocalypse and destroy her own city and destroy all society so she can rule as a warlord, having all the teenage boys that she can while keeping a eternal youth. She's also a sadistic brutal fighter that kills anyone that stands on her path to get more teens to fuck, and who enjoys making teenage girls suffer both psychological and physically considering them as "competency".

I don't know if she's a realistic portrayal of a rapist, but she's not mean to be realistic, she's the subversion of the idea that Woman Are More Innocent, a idea that she exploited to her benefit until she just hasn't to do it anymore, she abused and twisted social rules and codes, and now that she had the chance, she's willing to destroy all rules and turn the world into a lawless post apocalyptic hell hole.

She support the less evil of the Big Bad Duuvirate but is not because Even Evil Has Standards but because while both want cause a Apocalypse and turn the world in a nightmare, the other Big Bad just care about himself, while the Big Bad that Miss Mary support is willing to pay her with a whole continent of her own dominion (she will become a Feudal Lord for the new Dark Queen, while if the Dark King win, she will become another of the victims of his ascention to Godhood).

Basically, she support the lesser evil not for morality, but because she will get actual benefits of it.

edited 6th Jan '18 5:59:28 PM by KazuyaProta

Gotcha. That clears that up about Ms. Mary.

I made sure there are plenty of sympathetic Muslim characters in the story, and the series, in fact (Hooke's love interest in the first film is an Islamic Ethiopian), and the story makes it clear that Merikh doesn't truly believe in the religion, he's just using it as an excuse to kill and terrorize.

As for the impotence angle... it does seem crass. I've read articles and watched documentaries about serial killers, and they theorized that the reason behind many of them using a knife was as a substitute for their inability to sexually penetrate. I based Merikh off of those killers, but I'll admit it is extremely insensitive to men suffering from impotence. I'll try to think of a different reason behind his sexual sadism.

Anyway, next villain...

Name: Abraham Buchanan a.k.a "Father Abraham"

Age: 56

Personality: A bible-thumping Christian cult leader who is so fanatically devoted to his perception of a cruel and angry God that he is willing to hurt others who don't agree with his views. Articulate, charismatic, and unmovable, his soft-spoken nature masks his true depravity.

Abilities: Skilled marksman/military tactician. Filthy rich, with loyal followers throughout the country.

Weaknesses: Poor hand-to-hand fighter, very prideful, and prone to angry fits.

Backstory: Buchanan is an ex-Marine, and upon a dishonorable discharge he turned to religion to deal with his vices. This religion turned into an obsession, and, using his natural charisma and speaking skills, he formed a cult known as "the New Prophets", based in Tennessee. His cult speaks against the "sinners" of the world (anyone who disagrees with Buchanan's views), encouraging wanton discrimination against homosexuals, Muslims, Catholics, Jews, and many other social and ethnic groups. He met his wife, Trish, while he was going around colleges spreading his word, and manipulated the naive girl into marrying him. They have a daughter, Rae, and he abuses both of them physically and verbally. He keeps a very close watch over now 22-year-old Rae, beating her savagely whenever she steps out of line, and telling her she's going to hell for her perception of a kind, loving God. Upon learning that Faris Merikh is searching for the Garden of Eden, he decides he wants to find the Garden for his own means, and recruits Llewellyn Hooke to steal Merikh's documents.

Role: The other half of the Big Bad Ensemble, on the opposite side of Merikh. Buchanan at first seems to be an odd but well-meaning father/pastor, but he quickly reveals his true colors. Upon discovering that Rae has romantic feelings for Hooke, Buchanan tries to kill the man, and then tortures his own daughter for her "insubordination". When Trish, sick of Buchanan's abuse, tries to spite him by giving the map to Eden to Merikh, Buchanan coldly snaps her neck. When Merikh kidnaps his daughter, he shows no concern for her, but rather that Merikh is going to find the Garden first. Forced into an Enemy Mine with Hooke, they head to the island where the Garden is located, where Hooke and a newly-rescued Rae discover his true plan: to have him and his most loyal followers colonize in the Garden, "as God intended from the beginning", while he leaves the rest of the world to be killed by a supervirus that he's had engineered in a lab. When Hooke confronts him, he has a Villainous Breakdown before trying to kill Hooke, and his own daughter.

Goals: To colonize in the Garden of Eden, and then wipe out the rest of the population with a deadly disease.

Motivations: Religious fanaticism

Related Tropes: The Fundamentalist, Knight Templar, Scary Black Man, Lack of Empathy, Domestic Abuse

edited 6th Jan '18 5:21:13 PM by JoeBlitz

I've decided that Faris Merikh's sadism isn't the result of sexual impotence, but social impotence. All his life, he's felt powerless socially, and inflicting pain is the only way he can find control in his life. He's terrified of women, and this is why he's especially cruel to them. This is what Hooke calls him out on at the climax; rather than mocking his impotence, he'll mock Merikh's inability to talk to women. All this is an explanation for his actions, but it sure as hell isn't an excuse, and Merikh is simply irredeemable by the story's end; from invading Israel, to torturing and killing a language professor, to having Rae Buchanan raped for days (which scars the girl into the third installment), Merikh is without a doubt one of the most heinous individuals I've ever imagined.

edited 6th Jan '18 7:53:06 PM by JoeBlitz

A fanatical, ultimately self serving Christian cult leader - he reminds me a lot of the bad guys of Far Cry 5, and moreover of a number of Christian based cults and murderous groups. He's obviously in it for the sadistic pleasure of killing sinners, and judging them - in a way a lot more of a proactive version of one of various far right groups active today.

Now, again I'll share a story instead, relating to Aaron Cascade, another old character who served alongside Elwood. Here's the story. Again a warning, due to the violence involved.

How exactly he thought that killing the entire world for himself and conquering Eden is following God` plan? The garden had a freaking angel of fire to stop humans for doing that.

I am honestly uncomfortable of how both of your villains are unambiguous Hate Sink ,that and re using religious extremists as villains TWICE is pretty, dunno, boring.

edited 7th Jan '18 11:29:55 AM by KazuyaProta

Buchanan is a bigoted psychopath, plain and simple. The fact that he thinks he's following God's plan is the whole point of his character; he's really just a charlatan who is suffering from paranoid delusions, as most cult leaders do. As for the whole Hate Sink angle... I deliberately wrote both characters to be examples of Complete Monster, as opposed to the Magnificent Bastard Father to His Men Akil Mustafa in the first story and the sympathetic villain in the third story. The reasons they are both religious extremists is to set up the idea of a modern Crusade (Christian vs Muslim), and to have an Aesop; religion isn't bad, but religious extremism is, and any religion, not just Islam, can have people who bastardize it for their own selfish reasons.

edited 7th Jan '18 12:15:38 PM by JoeBlitz

Alright, time for the final Llewellyn Hooke baddie. This is from the third installment, working title The Fate of Heroes, which sees a retired Hooke forced back into the game when a ghost from his past returns for revenge. As they fight to find the lost city of Atlantis and the mythical power it contains, Hooke deals with issues of mortality, fallen heroes, and lost opportunity. This is the Grand Finale of the series, and it has one hell of a Downer Ending, as opposed to the other two stories' Bittersweet Ending.

Ladies and gentleman, our ghost!

Name: Zacharias Glass (born Peter Emory)

Age: 46

Personality: The most unstable of all of Hooke's adversaries. While Merikh was a sadistic sociopath, Glass is purely psychotic, with mass delusions of grandeur and rampant Ax-Crazy tendencies. He doesn't value his men, whom he will kill with the drop of a hat (with the exception of The Dragon, who is the only person he trusts and respects) and he is obsessed with Hooke for "betraying" him in the past.

Abilities: Skilled marksman/hand-to-hand fighter. Masterful tactitian. Limitless resources, with loyal followers across the world.

Weaknesses: Prone to psychotic fits, during which he is uncontrollable. Also suffers from constant headaches. Both of these are the side effect of Hooke stabbing him in the eye years ago.

Backstory: Glass was once Peter Emory, Hooke's captain in the Special Forces. Hooke and Emory were inseperable, like brothers, and when most of their platoon was captured by a militia to be tortured, they both disobeyed orders and went after their men, who they failed to save. Court-marshaled and discharged, Hooke and Emory became mercenaries, Hooke being a treasure hunter and Emory becoming a gun-for-hire. Emory eventually got a job with a mysterious organization that was obsessed with finding Atlantis, home of the Omphalos Stone, an enchanted Greek holy object that was blessed with the power of life, and thus let the user communicate directly to the Gods. Emory was quickly brainwashed by the concept of finding the Stone and becoming all-knowing. Recruiting Hooke to help in the search, Emory and him worked alongside... until Hooke discovered that Emory's employers were ruthless Neo-Nazis, and that they were currently torturing an undercover cop. Hooke killed the Nazi leader, and fought Emory, stabbing him in the eye with an icicle, presumably killing him. Hooke escaped the compound, and abandoned the search for Atlantis, oblivious to the fact that his old friend was very much alive, and was taking over the Nazi operation under the new name "Zacharias Glass".

Role: Big Bad. Glass kicks off the plot by having some of Hooke's friends and associates killed by stabbing them in the eye, just to torment Hooke. He then tries to abduct Hooke and Rae, but they are saved by the National Clandestine Service, who are investigating Glass and his operations. When Hooke finds that the agency is after the Stone too, he makes it clear that if he helps them find Atlantis, they are destroying the Stone rather than taking it back to America. The agency reluctantly complies, and Hooke becomes Glass's main competition in the hunt for the lost city. As the story progresses, he finally gets his hands on Hooke, who he tries to have executed by placing him in a decompression chamber, though Hooke escapes. They make it to Atlantis, where they discover the city's Dark Secret, and have a knife fight to the death.

Goals: Find Atlantis and the Omphalos Stone, get revenge on Llewellyn Hooke by murdering his loved ones and then killing him

Motivations: While he works with Nazis, Glass doesn't believe in their ideology, and is simply using their resources to get to the Stone. He longs to know everything, about life, and the afterlife, and he hopes that the Stone will allow him to speak to the dead, particularly his fallen comrades, whose deaths he blames himself for. He is genuinely hurt that Hooke, his long-time friend, tried to kill him, although he sees nothing wrong with the torture he was committing, and selling out the world to the Nazis. In the end, however, he does admit he's wrong, having one last moment of humanity before dying in Hooke's arms.

Related Tropes: Ax-Crazy, Bad Boss, Big Bad Friend, Evil Counterpart, Revenge Myopia, Tragic Monster

edited 7th Jan '18 3:00:37 PM by JoeBlitz

And yes, your villain Mary is a despicable bitch.

edited 7th Jan '18 5:53:45 PM by superboy313