Webcomic / True Magic

Do I gotta pop a kernel in your ass?

True Magic is a humorous fantasy webcomic written and drawn by Aja and co-author :D. It follows the adventures of five residents of Homeville, who for certain reasons have gotten rather adept at using such unlikely weapons as guns and halberds as farm implements. With the villagers of Homeville constantly beleagured by nobles who come by to violently harass them, our heroes finally take it upon themselves to trek to the city of Hometropolis in an attempt to get the nobles to leave them alone.

The original comic ran for about five years, but the entire thing has recently been rebooted with much-improved writing and art. You can start reading it here.

The main characters, in no particular order:

• Henson: The Big Guy, uses a scythe to slice potatoes. Often Mistaken for Gay or a girl, initially, due to not tying back his long hair.
• Jen: The Heart, uses a halberd to shear sheep. A Wholesome Crossdresser for the sake of pretending to be a noble.
• Kiku: A Fiery Redhead, who wears metal claws to trim faces (and maybe hedges). Really likes hot cocoa.
• Bob: Brainy Brunette Badass Bookworm.
• Joe: The Everyman, who weaponized all of his buddies.

Other characters, who may or may not end up being important. We'll see!

• The proprietors of the Dusk to Dusk.
• Green-Haired Man: Strangely eager to tell Henson something "of the utmost life-changing gravity." We don't know what it is, yet. Page 485 reveals his name as Gauthicus.
• The guards.
• The trio of thieves.
• Richard, a bard who looks like a Barbarian Hero but is really a Gentle Giant who detests fighting but will if he gotta. Joined Henson, Bob, Kiku, and Joe at the Dusk to Dusk's illegal fighting pit.
• Martinus The Mad/Spike: A cheerfully psychotic pit fighter currently Possessed by The Dragon of the as-yet-unrevealed Big Bad, a Sand Monster nicknamed "Spike."
• And who wrote the letter directing students to beat on Hometown?

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This comic provides examples of:

• Action Mom: So, without the infamous band of weapon-wielding residents to protect it, Homeville must be a piece of cake for bandits, right? Right? Dead wrong. Well, now we know where Joe and Jen got their skills...
• Actual Pacifist: Henson in the reboot, much to the chagrin (and mockery) of his allies.
  • Joe delivers a scathing "Reason You Suck" Speech after Kiku is kicked into a pit, pointing out that Henson's pacifism is getting very poor results.
• Aerith and Bob: Kiku, Henson, Bob, Joe and Jen.
• Alt Text
• Always a Bigger Fish: Provides the page image. A Giant’s Skeleton snatches up the Direwolf menacing the party.
• Amazon Chaser: The bandit leader is mightily impressed after Joe and Jen's mother kicks his groups’ collective asses.
• Aristocrats Are Evil: They’re the primary antagonists of the story. Though that doesn't mean there aren't some exceptions.
• Art Evolution: The reboot of the comic has much better art than the beginning of the first run.
• Ascended Extra: Bob and Joe join the group in the reboot, upgrading the Power Trio (Henson, Jen, and Kiku) to a Five-Man Band.
• Ax-Crazy: Martinus the Mad. Reinforced by his use of an actual axe.
• Badass Normal: The protagonists of the story.
• Badass Book Worm: Bob. Catches a sword while reading a book. He then continues on to later threaten friend of sword thrower, with said book. At the time of writing this, Bob is featured on the Badass Book Worm page.
• Bathing Beauty: Jen certainly enjoys her bathtub.
• Beard of Evil: The first noble shown harassing the present day villagers sports a goatee. That first nobleman is mocked by his classmates later for having a wussy beard.
• Berserk Button: Messing with Henson in front of a hot cocoa'd Kiku.
  "That'll teach you! Callin' my buddy a ponce!"
• Blatant Lies: "If you ever threaten a priest again, I’ll smi-" Alt Text: "He was going to say, 'smile and turn the other cheek'. Honest!"
  • Also, the common citizens of Homeville bluff the noble in the page image by saying that various weapons (knives, scythes, halberds, knife-gloves, and a gun) are all being used as tools, not as weapons, which would be illegal for them to own. He largely believes it because he gets the implication.
• Blood Knight: Martinus the Mad. To the point that Bob gets him to forfeit by pointing out that those who forfeit have to fight another match afterward.
  Henson (threateningly): "Guess what? That guy you just kicked around is my best friend.
  Martinus (hugging him): "Yes! I can s-see why! He t-told me how to fight twice as much every night! Why doesn't everyone do it this way?
• Brainy Brunette: Bob, the self-educated peasant.
• Brought to You by the Letter "S": This page brought to you the letter L.
• Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": Lampshaded. The creature that Richard referrs to as a "cave beetle" is not very beetle-like at all, which Joe is quick to point out.
• Casanova Wannabe: Joe imagines girls flocking around him.
• Cerebus Syndrome: Once the main characters get into the Dusk to Dusk Tavern, things become more dramatic and less funny.
• Color-Coded Characters: The nobles wear blue and white; the peasants wear green and brown. It makes it pretty hard for the heroes to improvise a costume for Kiku, but pretty easy for the nobles to choose who to slaughter.
• Comically Missing the Point: Jen reprimands Kiku for holding a sword in his mouth: "Oh, Kiku. Don’t put that in your mouth! You don’t know where it’s been!"
  • It must run in the family, as Joe, when seeing a Blood Sport arena with the prospect of fighting in it, can only focus on how a FACE can go "Clang!"
• Condescending Compassion: The noble that the group meets at the bar genuinely admires the peasantry of Homeville, but does so through a decidedly "noble" lens.
• Corrupt Church: The priests in the prologue are so corrupt, they even turn against their own god, Lucideus.
• Close-Call Haircut: In the first run, Kiku accidentally pokes Joe’s eye out. In the current run, a similar scene is shown, but instead, Joe is only given a Close-Call Haircut. He later gets another one to even up the other side.
• Cult: The followers of Octopeiedes, the Octopus God. One of their missionaries pesters Joe and the green-haired nob.
• Death by Origin Story: Done on a larger scale. Lucideus may or may not be dead, but his absence is why the priests were able to continue their abusiveness towards commoners, which led to the events of the comic.
• Don't Tell Mama: Invoked. When Henson tries to guilt-trip Joe about what his mother would think if he resorted to murder, Joe realizes that it’s Henson’s way of threatening to tattle on him if he goes down that path.
• Dude Looks Like a Lady: Check out panel three: Long blue hair? Check. Heart-themed necklace? Check. Frills? Check. Actually a girl? Sorry.
• Dumb Muscle: The two thugs of the highwayman group.
• Everyone Is Single
• Face Palm: The bandit leader does one when his henchmen figure out a workaround for the "You Must Be This Tall To Harass The Villagers" sign. He doubles down with both hands on the very next page.
• Failed a Spot Check: This strip references the trope, as Joe managed to fail this and his Stealth check.
• Fiery Redhead: Kiku again.
• Fire Stolen from the Gods: According to legend, the God of Light granted magic to his priests, only for them to form an oppressive Corrupt Church the moment his back was turned. When he threatened to revoke their magic, they invoked him over and over en masse until they ripped his power out of him and tore him apart.
• Fingertip Drug Analysis: Defied when the Sergeant slaps some powder out of his subordinate's hand, pointing out that it’d be easier to analyze chemically, as it could be anything from a variety of poison to his wife’s biscuit mix.
  Andir: Why would your wife want to kill these men, sir?
• Flipping the Bird: Off-panel, but in Kiku's defense, Bob did walk right into that one.
• Fluffy the Terrible: One of the Puppeteer Parasite sand monsters is named "Patches." However, Patches is a monster who isn't particularly monstrous. Its partner Spike, however, is mean enough for both of them.
• Friendless Background: It later turns out that Higgins (pictured above) only went to Homeville to try and impress his classmates.
• Generic Cuteness: To the point that you have to look at hairstyles and chest shape to tell the boys from the girls.
• The Generic Guy: Bob and Joe, more so in the first run. Even in the reboot, their names are catch-alls for The Everyman.
• Giant Spider: Kept as pets when the World was dark, mostly because nobody could tell them apart from cats.
• God of Light: The Daybringer was the deity who brought the world light and granted the nobles their magical powers. Ironically, he is not too bright and is easily tricked by mortals.
• Goggles Do Nothing: The Alt Text for this strip references the trope in relation to Bob's pince-nez.
• Have You Seen My God?: Twice. There were supposed to be other gods, but Lucideus can't seem to find them. Also, no one really knows what happened to Lucideus when the priests sealed him up.
• Head Desk: The green-haired man is driven to it by the Octopeides worshipper.
• Head-in-the-Sand Management: Sarge finds the captain’s office empty, with a Rope Ladder out the window and an apologetic note. Prior to this, his orders were to make sure that the deaths of all the prisoners in their care could be proven to not be their fault.
• Helmets Are Hardly Heroic: One of the city guards refuses to wear his because "it makes my hair look stupid." This is his explanation when his sarge tells him off for getting hit over the head. Kiku later demonstrated that the helmets aren’t all that useful, either.
• Hiding Behind Religion: Some of the priests just like to abuse their powers for the hell of it. When Lucideus admonishes them, one insists that he was setting people on fire "for God."
• Holier Than Thou: The priests, to the point of being abusive to their subjects.
• I Can't Believe It's Not Heroin!: Kiku on hot chocolate.
• Improbable Weapon User: Inverted in an amusing fashion with the protagonists. Instead of using farm implements as weapons, they use weapons as farm implements (and, when the situation calls for it, as weapons...).
• Imagine Spot: Joe thinking of staying at the nightclub. He sees Bob as a magician, Kiku hunting rats, himself as a ladies’ man, and Henson in a thong.
• Kill It with Fire: Ah, yes. Fireballs. The solution to everything...
• Land of One City: The Capital is only referred to as "The City." As in, THE city. Meaning the only one.
• Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Henson is lectured by a streetwalker on how to appear male.
  "...which is why the long-haired gents wear ponytails around here. It’s more masculine, you know?"
• The Magocracy: The descendants of the Priests of Lucien have become the Nobility of the world, as they're the only ones able to use magic.
• Mistaken for Gay: Henson is mistaken for a gigolo.
• Missing Mom: Bob’s got one, as the bandit leader is dismayed to find.
• Moment Killer: Henson is in the middle of a badass speech, when he’s interrupted by "the therapy bunny".
• Mundane Made Awesome: TO THE POTATO SHED!
• Mundane Utility: The first Miracle the priests do? Heat up some cold coffee.
• New First Comics
• Parrot Pet Position: Much to his annoyance, a bird in a cave takes a liking to Joe and takes residence on his shoulder.
• Percussive Maintenance: It always works.
• Playing Possum: Kiku pretends to be dead after Joe “kills him” with a tickling technique in their match. The nobleman overseeing the pit matches knows that Kiku isn’t dead when he investigates more closely — but happily declares him dead anyway and throws him into the Pit’s titular pit.
• Puppeteer Parasite: The Cave Beetles can insert a spike of metal into a human's brain, instantly killing them. This spike is soaked in magic that allows them to control the corpse while they ride it in Parrot Pet Position.
• Rage Against the Heavens: After commoners complain about the priests’ deeds and Lucideus demands they change their ways, the priests turn against Lucideus and seal him up.
• Religion is Magic: The priests are endowed with magical powers. Makes you wonder about the priest of the octopus god.
• Sapient Steed: A nonverbal example with the postman's horse, Thunder, who obeys commands but tries to bend them, as well as having the ability to roll his eyes.
• Secret Stab Wound: After the creature manages to draw blood from a poke in the neck, Henson quickly wipes it on his cuff and says it's nothing.
• Shibboleth: Nobles salute each other by making their hands glow. Since peasants can’t do that, it serves to weed out anyone trying to enter The City illegally.
• Shout-Out: "It buuuuurns us!" and dogs with orange eyebrows.
• Show Some Leg: Fails utterly when Jen tries.
• Static Stun Gun: The guards wield collapsible metal batons that can stun people. Since it channels the nobility’s inherited magic, peasants can’t wield the batons, and receive a shock if they touch it.
• Sure, Let's Go with That: After using wrassling and then guile to pass herself off as a male student, Jen's disguise finally falls apart when the buttons pop off her shirt. The student who sees this happen just assume that she's from the women's academy on some kind of prank, and she rolls with it.
• The Guards Must Be Crazy: Quite subverted. The guards might not be paragons of virtue and civic duty, but they see through the group's ruse easily. Not that all of them are so competent, though.
• Tournament Arc: The heroes get thrown into an arena known as “The Pit” after getting dragged down into the Dusk to Dusk nightclub.
• Use Your Head: Henson tries this on the sand monster’s stone to break it. It commends for a clever idea, but poor technique.
• Widely-Spaced Jail Bars: The bars of the Pit’s cells are slim enough that Kiku, Martinus, and Bob can all slip through with ease. Joe can also manage, but not without removing his vest full of weapons first.
• Wham Shot: When Martinus the Mad embraces Henson after being rescued, he looks up with glowing orange eyes.
• Wholesome Crossdresser: Jen, to get into a nobles’ school.
• Wild Hair: Kiku's hair is all over the place.
• Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Played straight with one of the thugs who attacks the heroes (“My mom told me not to hit girls,”) and inverted with the girl in question (“My mom told me not to hit boys who don’t hit girls.”)
• You Don't Want to Catch This: The villagers put spots made of jam on themselves to keep the nobles away while the heroes are gone, as well as a sign warning of "Peasant Pox."
• Your Mom: Appears here as a childish taunt, along with "Your face just keeps going!"