True Magic (Webcomic)

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Or do I gotta pop a kernel in your ass?

True Magic is a humorous fantasy webcomic written and drawn by Aja and co-author :D. It follows the adventures of five residents of Homeville, who for certain reasons have gotten rather adept at using such unlikely weapons as guns and halberds as farm implements. With the villagers of Homeville constantly beleagured by nobles who come by to violently harass them, our heroes finally take it upon themselves to trek to the city of Hometropolis in an attempt to get the nobles to leave them alone.

The original comic ran for about five years, but the entire thing has recently been rebooted with much-improved writing and art. You can start reading it here.

The main characters, in no particular order:

Henson: The Big Guy, uses a scythe to slice potatoes. Often Mistaken for Gay or a girl, initially, due to not tying back his long hair.

The proprietors of the Dusk to Dusk.
Green-Haired Man: Strangely eager to tell Henson something "of the utmost life-changing gravity." We don't know what it is, yet.
The guards.
The trio of theives.
Richard, a bard who looks like a Barbarian Hero but is really a Gentle Giant who detests fighting but will if he gotta. Joined Henson, Bob, Kiku, and Joe at the Dusk to Dusk's illegal fighting pit.
Martinus The Mad/Spike: A cheerfully psychotic pit fighter currently Possessed by The Dragon of the as-yet-unrevealed Big Bad, a Sand Monster nicknamed "Spike."

This comic provides examples of:

Action Mom: So, without the infamous band of weapon-wielding residents to protect it, Homeville must be a piece of cake for bandits, right? Right? Dead wrong. Well, now we know where Joe and Jen got their skills...
Actual Pacifist: Henson in the reboot, much to the chagrin (and mockery) of his allies.
Aerith and Bob: Kiku, Henson, Bob, Joe and Jen.
Alt Text
Always a Bigger Fish: Provides the page image. A Giant's Skeleton snatches up the Direwolf menacing the party.
Aristocrats Are Evil: They're the primary antagonists of the story.
Art Evolution: The reboot of the comic has much better art than the beginning of the first run.
Ascended Extra: Bob and Joe join the group in the reboot, upgrading the Power Trio (Henson, Jen, and Kiku) to a Five-Man Band.
Ax-Crazy: Martinus the Mad. Reinforced by his use of an actual axe.
Badass Normal: The protagonists of the story.
Badass Book Worm: Bob. Catches a sword while reading a book. He then continues on to later threaten friend of sword thrower, with said book. At the time of writing this, Bob is featured on the Badass Book Worm page.
Beard of Evil: The first noble shown harassing the present day villagers sports a goatee. That first nobleman is mocked by his classmates later for having a wussy beard.
Berserk Button: Messing with Henson in front of a hot cocoa'd Kiku.
"That'll teach you! Callin' my buddy a ponce!"
Bishōnen: Everywhere you look! It's gotten to the point that men tend to wear their (long) hair in a braid, since its the only way to tell them from the women.
Blatant Lies: "If you ever threaten a priest again, I'll smi-" Alt Text: "He was going to say, 'smile and turn the other cheek'. Honest!"
Blood Knight: Martinus the Mad. To the point that Bob gets him to forfeit by pointing out that those who forfeit have to fight another match afterward.
Henson (threateningly): "Guess what? That guy you just kicked around is my best friend.
Martinus (hugging him): "Yes! I can s-see why! He t-told me how to fight twice as much every night! Why doesn't everyone do it this way?
Brainy Brunette: Bob, the self-educated peasant.
Brought to You by the Letter "S": This page brought to you the letter L.
Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": Lampshaded. The creature that Richard referrs to as a "cave beetle" is not very beetle-like at all, which Joe is quick to point out.
Casanova Wannabe: Joe imagines girls flocking around him.
Cerebus Syndrome: Once the main characters get into the Dusk to Dusk Tavern, things become more dramatic and less funny.
Color-Coded Characters: The nobles wear blue and white; the peasants wear green and brown. It makes it pretty hard for the heroes to improvise a costume for Kiku, but pretty easy for the nobles to choose who to slaughter.
Comically Missing the Point: Jen reprimands Kiku for holding a sword in his mouth: "Oh, Kiku. Don't put that in your mouth! You don't know where it's been!"
Corrupt Church: The priests in the prologue are so corrupt, they even turn against their own god, Lucideus.
Close-Call Haircut: In the first run, Kiku accidentally pokes Joe's eye out. In the current run, a similar scene is shown, but instead, Joe is only given a Close-Call Haircut. He later gets another one to even up the other side.
Cult: The followers of Octopeiedes, the Octopus God. One of their missionaries pesters Joe and the green-haired nob.
Darkskinned Redhead: Kiku.
Death by Origin Story: Done on a larger scale. Lucideus may or may not be dead, but his absence is why the priests were able to continue their abusiveness towards commoners, which led to the events of the comic.
Dude Looks Like a Lady: Check out panel three: Long blue hair? Check. Heart-themed necklace? Check. Frills? Check. Actually a girl? Sorry.
Dumb Muscle: The two thugs of the highwayman group.
Everyone Is Single
Fiery Redhead: Kiku again.
Flipping the Bird: Off-panel, but in Kiku's defense, Bob did walk right into that one.
Fluffy the Terrible: One of the Puppeteer Parasite sand monsters is named "patches." However, Patches is a monster who isn't particularly monstrous. Its partner Spike, however, is mean enough for both of them.
Generic Cuteness: To the point that you have to look at hairstyles and chest shape to tell the boys from the girls.
The Generic Guy: Bob and Joe, more so in the first run. Even in the reboot, their names are catch-alls for The Everyman.
Giant Spider: Kept as pets when the World was dark, mostly because nobody coult tell them appart from cats.
Have You Seen My God?: Twice. There were supposed to be other gods, but Lucideus can't seem to find them. Also, no one really knows what happened to Lucideus when the priests sealed him up.
Head-in-the-Sand Management: Sarge finds the captain's office empty, with a Rope Ladder out the window and an apologetic note.
Helmets Are Hardly Heroic: One of the city guards refuses to wear his because "it makes my hair look stupid." This is his explanation when his sarge tells him off for getting hit over the head.
Hiding Behind Religion: Some of the priests just like to abuse their powers for the hell of it. When Lucideus admonishes them, one insists that he was setting people on fire "for God."
Holier Than Thou: The priests, to the point of being abusive to their subjects.
I Can't Believe It's Not Heroin!: Kiku on hot chocolate.
Improbable Weapon User: Inverted in an amusing fashion with the protagonists. Instead of using farm implements as weapons, they use weapons as farm implements (and, when the situation calls for it, as weapons...).
Imagine Spot: Joe thinking of staying at the nightclub. He sees Bob as a magician, Kiku hunting rats, himself as a ladies' man, and Henson in a thong.
Kill It with Fire: Ah, yes. Fireballs. The solution to everything...
Land of One City: The Capital is only referred to as "The City." As in, THE city. Meaning the only one.
Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Henson is lectured by a streetwalker on how to appear male.
"...which is why the long-haired gents wear ponytails around here. It's more masculine, you know?"
The Magocracy: The decendants of the Preists of Lucien have become the Nobility of the world, as they're the only ones able to use magic.
Mistaken for Gay: Henson is mistaken for a gigolo.
Mundane Made Awesome: TO THE POTATO SHED!
Mundane Utility: The first Miracle the preists do? Heat up some cold coffee.
New First Comics
Nice Hat: The priests'. Lampshaded by the Alt Text.
Parrot Pet Position: Much to his annoyance, a bird in a cave takes a liking to Joe and takes residence on his shoulder.
Percussive Maintenance: It always works.
Puppeteer Parasite: The Cave Beetles can insert a spike of metal into a human's brain, instantly killing them. This spike is soaked in magic that allows them to control the corpse while they ride it in Parrot Pet Position.
Rage Against the Heavens: After commoners complain about the priests' deeds and Lucideus demands they change their ways, the priests turn against Lucideus and seal him up.
Religion Is Magic: The priests are endowed with magical powers. Makes you wonder about the priest of the octopus god.
Secret Stab Wound: After the creature manages to draw blood from a poke in the neck, Henson quickly wipes it on his cuff and says it's nothing.
Shibboleth: Nobles salute each other by making their hands glow. Since peasants can't do that, it serves to weed out anyone trying to enter The City illegally.
Shout-Out: "It buuuuurns us!" and dogs with orange eyebrows.
Show Some Leg: Fails utterly when Jen tries.
Sure, Let's Go with That: After using wrassling and then guile to pass herself off as a male student, Jen's disguise finally falls apart when the buttons pop off her shirt. The student who sees this happen just assume that she's from the women's academy on some kind of prank, and she rolls with it.
The Guards Must Be Crazy: Quite subverted. The guards might not be paragons of virtue and civic duty, but they see through the group's ruse easily.
Tournament Arc: The heroes get thrown into an arena known as "The Pit" after getting dragged down into the Dusk to Dusk nightclub.
Use Your Head: Henson tries this on the sand monster's stone to break it. It commends for a clever idea, but poor technique.
Wham Shot: When Martinus the Mad embraces Henson after being rescued, he looks up with glowing orange eyes.
Wholesome Crossdresser: Jen, to get into a nobles' school.
Wild Hair: Kiku's hair is all over the place.
Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Played straight with one of the thugs who attacks the heroes ("My mom told me not to hit girls"), and inverted with the girl in question ("My mom told me not to hit boys who don't hit girls").
You Don't Want to Catch This: The villagers put spots made of jam on themselves to keep the nobles away while the heroes are gone, as well as a sign warning of "Peasant Pox."