Welcome to my sandbox, feel free to make yourself at home! Excuse the mess.
Various Lines from Let's Players
I've found that some of the best dialogue tend to come from Let's Players, and since there may be a big purge coming, I may want to reference it if I need inspiration for writing scenes in a story. Mostly it's comedy, but there might be a few dramatic moments here and there. Stephen Plays
- Stephen: Well, I didn't think I needed to kill him, but you said "shoot the bastard!" Was that not the bastard?! Was it some other bastard?! You gotta specify which bastard is the bastard!
Chuggaaconroy
- Chugga: I don't discriminate. Shape, size, gender or species; as long as you die, I'm fine with you.Chugga: ...You want ugly people to guard your graves because ghosts will be scared of them. I know. It is shallow, it is mean, it is horrible, and it is Japanese! Which is why we love it!
The Runaway Guys
- Josh: "CAN WE JUST GO TO DINNER?!"
- Emile: "We have 2-5 here aaand 2-6. Because I can count, we're going to 2-5."
Everyone (except Emile): "You can count?"
Jon: "In unison everybody said it!"
Emile: "I can only count to 5, okay? I could only tell that 6 wasn't before 5 by process of elimination." - Jon: "There's a pipe up there! There's a pipe up there!"
Emile: "Get it, Toad (Josh)! Get it!" *falls off, saves himself with the bubble, only to get popped by Tim (who bubbles and then gets popped by Emile and re-bubbles) and barely re-bubble*
Josh: "I am—" *gets powered down by a Flame Chomp, losing his propeller and falling* "NOOO!" *accidentally pops Tim's bubble, causing Tim to jump and pop Emile's bubble, with them barely re-bubbling as Josh dies*
Jon: *completely unharmed and untroubled* "Oh, I was wrong. Sorry guys."
(Beat)
Josh: "OH GOOD!"
Emile: *amidst screaming and laughing of others* "OH SCREW YOU! SCREW! YOU! SCREW! YOU!"
Tim: "That was diabolical..." - Emile: (pairs up two Ice Flowers) "I got a match."
Josh: (pairs up two Fire Flowers) "I got a match."
Jon: (gets a lone Ice Flower) "I got a ma...no."
Emile: (pairs up two Penguin Suits) "I got a match."
Tim: (gets a lone Bowser Panel) "I got shit."
(Everyone starts laughing)
Josh: (pairs up two Mini Mushrooms) "I got another one..."
Jon: (finds the other Bowser Panel, ending the game) "I GOT A MATCH!"
(Everyone starts laughing again)
Jon: "I GOT A MATCH, GUYS! I GOT A MATCH! WHAT DOES IT DO? I GOT THE BOWSER POWER-UP!" - Emile: "Four years old. Saw a woman in a revealing dress. 'I wish I had bouncy balls on my tummy to play with whenever I wanted! It'd be fun!"
- Jon: "Pick a side!"
[Everybody does so]
Emile: "Not the same side!" - Emile: "In the last episode we finished up, uh, World 3, and in this episode, we're going to be getting started on the world that comes after 3, I don't know 'cause I can't count that high."
Jon, Josh, and Tim in unison: "''FIVE.''" - Emile: "That sounds like a really bad porn, 4 Penguins."
Jon: "...What kind of porn do you watch?!" - Text Box: Too bad... You didn't even get one...
Josh: "FUCK YOU, GAME!"
Jon: "That's my line..."
Tim: "Wow."
Emile: "Better game than me." - Josh: "I've been JoshJepson..."
Emile: "I've been Chuggaaconroy..."
Jon: "I've been ProtonJon..."
Tim: "And I've been everywhere!" - Jon: "Imagine yourself in a world full of palm trees, water, cannons, mushrooms, and giant spiky fish. Now turn to your left; imagine you have four random people, playing video games, and yelling very loudly next to you. You are in the Runaway Guys' world, [with] myself, and three others. I am ProtonJon and I am joined by..."
Tim: "NintendoCapriSun..."
Josh: "JoshJepson..."
Emile: "And Chuggaaconroy. Ask your travel agent about World 4 today." - Emile: (gets invincibility) "TIME TO RAPE!"
Jon: "Um..."
Emile: "AMERICA'S FAVORITE PASTIME!"
Jon: "Um..." - "Why are we quoting ourselves?! That's just weird!"
- (Tim is squashed.)
Tim: "Bah I missed."
(Jon is squashed.)
Tim: "Bah he missed."
(Josh is squashed.)
Tim: "Bah he missed too."
(Emile is squashed.)
Tim: "Bah."
Jon: "Go team!"
Emile: "I never knew what group suicide looked like, but..." (laughs)
Jon: "None of us learned from any of the others, that was great." - Jon: "Josh is our horn expert."
* everyone laughs*
Emile: "I'm not gonna make that pun."
Josh: "What?"
Jon: "I'm not sure what pun you had in mind..."
Josh: "I guess you could say I'm kind of...horny."
Emile: "THAT'S WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY!" - Jon: "YOU ARE WIZARDS!"
Emile: "I'M GOD!"
Jon: "No you're not. Not even close."
Josh: "You think you're God."
Emile: "I'm not God. I'm not a god."
Josh: (laughs) "You're not a god?"
Emile: "I am Amaterasu!"
Josh: "You're not a god. YOU'RE THE GOD!"
Tim: "I am a mortal!"
Emile: "I am Amaterasu!"
Jon: "I'm Batman." - Emile: (reading off the recording equipment) "Disk space is running low. Computer can record audio for 85 hours and three more minutes. That's pretty low." (chuckles)
- Followed by snarking about it from everyone.
- Josh: "Geez, it's thrusting!"
Emile: "Jesus frosting?"
(Jon and Tim start laughing in the background)
Emile: "I don't want to know what that would taste like... and how you would go about knowing it tastes like that."
Jon: "Oh no..."
(Later, after failing and making up lost ground)
Josh: "Thrusting. I actually said "Geez it's thrusting"."
Emile: "I thought you said 'Jesus frosting'. I was like 'How would you know it tastes like that?'"
Jon: "It tastes like sacrilege!"
Tim: "Ewwww…" - Emile tries to justify various disasters he brought in Castle 7 with "I didn't do it on purpose!", which causes the entire group, especially Jon, to turn on him, in a "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, WHAT HAVE YOU JUST SAID?!?" way. Then:Jon: (completely serious) "Say it."
Emile: (laughs) "...it."
Josh: (laughs)
Jon: (deadpan) You're an idiot... - Jon: "Alright, who's sacrificing their life?"
(Josh walks off the edge and misses completely.)
Josh: "DAAAGGH—!"
(Laughter)
Jon: "Okay, you can do it, Josh!" - *Everyone screams*
Josh: "I didn't see it coming."
Jon:" "HOW DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?!'" - Emile: "Well, you know he always gets hired back on by the end of the episode, so we might as well have him play with us while he still can."
Jon: "We need a replacement right now! You need to stick around!"
Emile: "You are your own replacement, JEPSON!"
Josh: "Oh wow. I am my own replacement."
Jon: "Better than being your own grandpa."
Emile: "Anyway, so I am Chuggaaconroy. And you Jepson, your first name is...?"
Josh: "Josh... Jepson..."
Emile: "Josh Jepson-Jepson! And you are...?"
Tim: "Mario Mario!"
Emile: "AKA?"
Tim: "Actually I am NintendoCapriSun."
Jon: "You're not even PLAYING Mario! That doesn't even make any sense!"
Emile: "And you are Yourenotevenplayingmariothatdoesntevenmakeanysense."
Jon: "That's my name actually. I had it legally changed to that. It was a really awkward moment." - Josh: "I don't like lava. I don't like fire, I don't like rocks, I don't like lava."
Jon: "What did lava ever do to you? Lava's here to save the world."
Emile: "And fire is a wonderful invention." - Emile: "Thanks a lot! Wha — what are you targeting me for!? What did I ever do to you?"
Jon: "We've been through this before!"
Emile: "What did I ever do to you, honey?"
Josh: "Um, what?"
Jon: "Aaaand that's where we stop the video. Good night everybody."
(cut to the end of episode screen for a few seconds, before going back to the game)
"Josh, don't fail us now!" "I will totally fail you now!" He doesn't, actually.
- Emile: "I actually saw a movie when I was little."
Jon: (Beat) "A movie when you were little?"
Emile: "It was Armageddon."
Jon: "One singular movie, that's all he's ever seen."
Josh: "He's seen Winnie the Pooh."
(everyone in the room laughs)
Jon: "It was a good movie, man!"
Emile: "It was! The effects were decent!"
Jon: "... The effects of Winnie the Pooh were decent?"
Emile: "Yes."
Jon: "Gotta love that hand-drawn animation." - Jon: "Hey, we saved the princess!"
[Kamek captures Peach and flies away]
Everyone: "Oh."
NCS: "No we didn't." - Tim: "The people who invented failing wanna offer us a contract."
Emile: "I want a contract!" - Jon: "You're so close I can taste it!"
Emile: "You can taste my death..."
Jon: "And it's delicious!" - Emile: "What are you, taking credit for my work? You know, it's not easy to just run face-first into money!"
- Emile: [gets knocked into the swamp by a frozen Koopa Troopa (thrown by Jon, naturally)] "Oh, hey, you suck!"
Jon: "Yeaaah!"
Emile: "Hey... that was a nice kill and an ice kill!"
Jon: "Don't make me kill you again." [Emile is killed by a falling Goomba] "Thank you." - Emile: "HE FOUND A WAY TO KILL ME IN THE END!"
Jon: "I can't kill him in the game, but I can kill him internally!" - Emile: "How do you know Riki is from Xenoblade?"
Jon: "Because I watched you play it, because you forced me to!" - After Emile says that being "Like A Boss" is "not the Runaway Guys way", Tim puns "we're more 'Like an Employee'."Emile: "You can't be a boss! You only have dots for eyes!"
Josh: "That's racist!" - [[Makes Just as Much Sense in Context "Charming Charlie's Chocolate Charmanders!"]
- Jon: "Josh, walk to the left."
Josh: (walks right and dies)
Jon: "That’s not the left."
Emile: (sings) "To the left, to the left!"
Jon: "Good job, Josh." - During an item collecting minigame in Episode 22, Josh states that the group is concentrating, leading to him accidentally blurting out concentration camp. The other three react accordingly while Josh tries to explain what he meant,Josh: "I was thinking, like, summer camp, and we're concentrating... I swear to god! No!"
Emile: "Speaking of offensive in Europe..."
Josh: "Imma just shut up now..." - Emile: "You know Jon, you're like Viridi, you can be really nice when you try."
(Beat)
Jon: "Yeah, that's gonna help the shipping stuff we have to deal with when you compare me to Viridi."
Emile: "OH NO! And people compare me to Pit, dang it! I didn't even think before I spoke!"
Jon: "You not think before you speak, WHA?" - Emile: "I take all your energy, I sap it out of your...cockles, and add it to mine."
Jon: "I'm sorry, my WHAT?" - Emile: "Whoa! Two or three-up, my ass!"
Jon: "Youuuu might want to rephrase that one." - Emile: "Jon..."
Jon: "Why? I tried to kill that thing. Calm down."
Emile: "Oh."
Jon: "I'm not always trying to kill you! In fact I haven't even tried to kill you this entire LP!"
Emile: "I'm sorry, but after so many years of constant abuse I'm just used to—"
Jon: "Wow, way to make me sound like a total asshole!" - Emile: "I need to embrace my inner penguin to move through this stage."
[Gets hit almost immediately]
Emile: "Crap."
Jon: "You embraced it well. So well. Not that I did any better."
- When Emile and Tim are laughing at the frustrated noises Jon is making:
- Jon *in a deep voice* "In the clouds, no one can hear you scream. But they can probably hear you yell a lot and swear, as God knows that's what I've been doing. Welcome back to Meringue Clouds Ghost House. In New Super Luigi U."
Emile: "They say that no one can hear you scream in the clouds, except the person standing right next to you. Don't be that guy." - Emile: (speaking like a Valley Girl) "That's so totally raven!"
Jon: (quietly) "Please never do that again."
Emile: "Challenge accepted!"
Jon: (laughs) "I like that challenge, keep it up." - Emile: (to Masae) "And you'll be playing as...?"
Masae: "Um...the one in the dress."
Jon: "You mean Luigi? Sweet!"
Masae: "...YEAH!"
Masae: (says with a positive tone) "I am the one in the dress."
Jon: "Yay! Gender stereotyping, YAAAAAY!!"
Everyone: (all cheer and whoo)
- Emile: "I'm so sad..."
Masae: "Are you sure you have friends?" - Emile: "But that's just Emiiillleee...!"
(Beat)
Tim: "A GAME EMILEEEE!"
Both: "Thanksss for watchinnnggg!"
Jon: (with no emotion) "Ohhhh god, save me now." - Masae: "Nooooo! I was so close! My crown..."
Emile: "Aww, I'm sorry. But you already have a crown upon your head..."
Masae: "IT'S NOT BIG ENOUGH!"
(beat)
Emile: "Oh!"
(Tim busts out laughing) - Jon: (in raspy voice) "Hey Luigi, I've got a secret to share with you."
Tim: *buuuurrrrp*
Jon: (Still in the same voice): "That's a pretty good secret."
(everyone laughs) - Emile: "Y'know, when you expend a shriek that high pitched, you really do deserve to win, so congratulations."
(Beat)
Masae: "...what does my squeal have to do with me deserving to win?"
Emile: "I mean, the loudness of your squeal showed how bad you wanted it and you got it!"
Masae: "So is that why you're so loud all the time? Because you always want to win?"
(Jon starts laughing)
Tim: "Oooh, she set you up on that one!"
Emile: "...I'm gonna go cry now." - Jon: (cheerfully) "Join us next week when we discuss about The Great Depression! See you then! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!" (MLG horns)
- Emile: "You designed this really big fancy controller* with like two thousand buttons, a touchscreen, a microphone, and a cheese grater on it, why don't you actually use it?"
- "ATTACK OF THE GIANT CANADIAN!"
- After beating the castle, they discuss how the Sprixie Princess may have been trapped inside her own home, watching from a bottle. Jon brings up the issue of toilet trouble, and Masae is grossed out...for a second.Masae: Apple juice.Emile (amused): Apple juice?Jon: Ewwwwwwww! What the fuck?Masae:*starts laughing*Tim: Um...Emile: Hey—you got a "what the fuck?" out of Jon before I did, that's an achievement!
- Jon (to Masae): "You're so bad at fake crying, I love it."
Masae: "You are - you're like, Smilin - he's like, Smiling!"
Emile: "I am! I have tears in my eyes now!"
Jon: "They're tears of happiness! You're happy about talking about getting punched!"
Masae: "He loves it! He loves it!"
Emile: "I'm happy she abuses me!"
(beat)
Masae: "Wha..."
Jon: "OK!!! OKAY! Moving On!"
Masae: "Time to go!" - Masae: "Yay! Yay!"
Emile: "Can you see how happy we've made her? Can you see how cute she sounds?"
Masae: "Excuse me?"
Jon: "...Wow! That went away fast!"
Emile: "Why do you get so upset when people call you cute?"
Masae: "Only you."
Jon: (starts laughing) "Hey let's test this." (Casually) "That was pretty cute, Masae."
(Beat)
Masae: "Thank you."
Jon: "You're welcome."
Emile: "You- your cheeks turned red."
Masae: "You're very nice."
Jon: "I love how, for a split second, you looked incredibly pissed, and then realized it was Emi- what we were talking about and like 'Oh wait! Gotta smile!'"
(Masae starts laughing)
Emile: "Yeah, she li- yeah, she paused."
Jon: "There was a split second of like sheer pissed-off anger on her face, it was so good!" - Masae: "Right now, I feel like Emile embodies the attitude of a typical cat. He's the king of everything and we're all his puny minions."
- Emile: "I like how I thought that the vernacular was a sex organ."
Tim: "Whoops."
Jon: "What?"
Emile: "Yes I did."
Masae: (embarrassed giggling)
Jon: "W-Wait, say that again in full, please?"
Tim: "Uh... what?"
Emile: "For, like, years, I thought the vernacular was, like, a sexual organ."
Masae: "What would it be? Wha... what would it be?"
Jon: "Maybe he didn't know the real word for it?"
Emile: "It's like, 'I've got a cramp in my vernacular'-" (embarrassed giggling)
Jon: "A cramp in your vernacular..."
Tim: "Suck on my vernacular!" - Emile: "Does that mean I punched you in your vernacular?"
(beat)
Masae: (deadpan) "Can I murder him yet?"
Jon: "Go for it. I'm surprised it took you this long." - Jon: "That's a good use of a force field."
Tim: "Back to Twitter!" - Emile: "LOOK EVERYBODY, MASAE AND I ARE LOSERS!!!"
Masae: "Why..." *starts crying*
Jon: "You know JUST what to say, don't you? You are the most tactful person in the world." - Tim: "What's the worst thing you can come across on the internet?"
Emile: "NAKED GRANDMA!"
Jon: "Lemonparty?"
Masae: "Rule 34?"
(beat)
Tim: "Your keyboard."
Subspace Emissary
Episode 1
- This hilarious exchange after the first match:Emile: And with that PILLARS!!
Tim: And we cut to… pillars.
Emile: God this place is just so dark and dank, [at the same time Pit's name appears] this place is the pits.
Jon and Tim: [both groan at the same time] So nice, you had to say it twice, right?
Emile: I know! Hey, you rhymed! You made a pun yourself!
Jon: Rhyming is not a pun.
Emile: It is in my book. [Tim starts laughing]
Jon: You have a really weird book.
Emile: I don't read!
Jon: I know! That's why it's a weird book! I'm assuming it's drawn in crayons, and has one of those pop-up things...
Episode 2
- At the very start, Emile ends up making yet another Incredibly Lame Pun:Emile: So, we're going to be starting off here on the Sea of Clouds. Told you we'd be 'seeing' you guys-
Jon: No. Don't you dare.
Tim: [groans]
Emile: [As Zelda and Kirby are travelling over the clouds] Jon, you need to get your head out of the clouds.
Jon: [groans] They just keep getting worse. Where's- I need to throw something at you now...- It gets better when one remembers how the first episode ended.Emile: Join us next week when we tackle, ze Sea of Clouds. ''Sea'' you guys then!
Jon: No.
Tim: Nooo.
Jon: Nooooo.
Tim: Nooooooo!
Jon: I'm leaving now. [end of episode] - Later on, Jon makes a "just hanging around" joke while hanging off a ledge, and gets hit right away.Emile: You see?! When you make bad puns, you just get punished!
- It gets better when one remembers how the first episode ended.
- Emile and Jon during a battle with loads of Mites:Jon: Ha ha, maniacal laughter...
Emile: Oh God, we have Mites.
Jon: Pikmin! It's Pikmin!
Emile: Attack the portal! ATTACK THE PORTAL!
Jon: I'm busy, attacking not-the-portal!
Emile: HAAAAAAH! [destroys the portal] HAAAAA-boom. I made the portal go boom.
Episode 3
- During the start of episode 3:Tim: "Could this get any worse?"
[Primids appear]
Jon: "And then it does."
Tim: "We need someone like..."
''[Pig King Statue appears]' - While outrunning Porkynote , Emile decides to annoy Jon:Emile: "We're really outrunning him, so you know what? MOVE FASTER POKEY!"
Jon: "I WILL PUNCH YOU! PAUSE THE GAME SO I CAN PUNCH YOU!"
Episode 4
- After Tim misheard "Venture" as "Vengeance", Jon had this insight to offer:Jon: "You know what? If I think vengeance, I don't think Yoshi."
Episode 5
- The gratuitous Fanservice shot of Zero-Suit!Samus descending from an air vent:Jon: "That's the most scandalous—"
Emile: "Rated T for Teen!"
Jon: "That's probably actually what got [the game] a T-rating, to be honest." - "I want a bow that shoots bows!"
Episode 6
- A bit of an Ironic Echo: at one point, after Tim gets two game overs in a row and starts sounding dejected, Emile tries to sound "caring" and says "Are you okay?" in a voice that Jon (and possibly Tim) perceives as mocking. Later on:Emile: "You're going to pay!"
Tim: [mocking voice] "Are you okay?"- Even better is that Emile doesn't realize it's an Ironic Echo and only thinks of it as a rhyme.
Episode 7
- The entirety of the intro to Episode 7, which includes the guys introducing themselves as characters from Home Improvement to the Wii crashing on them. The fact that they're recording at Jon's house instead of a hotel for once, so they can be as loud as they want, doesn't hurt either.
- Best part about the crash: it takes them around 30 seconds to notice it. They manage to go on a tangent about Back to the Future of all things, all with the droning crash noise in the background.
- "WE'RE SMARTER THAN A WII!"
- The ending with Jon as Billy Mays pitching Silly Putty.Jon: "So...this has been... Billy Mays."
Emile: [Beat] "You're not Billy Mays."
Tim: "Helllllllloooooooooo, yeah, that's right!"
Jon: "Billy Mays here for Silly Putty!"
[Beat]
Emile: "Mighty Putty!"
Jon: "I keep doing that!" - Somehow, Emile and Tim end up using up nearly all their lives in the span of a few seconds.
- "Say hello to my nipple knives."
- The entire 'go be Canadian somewhere else' exchange (with Tim on Jon's side).
- "Like in Canada? Where we are right now?!"
- "I'M IN ENEMY TERRITORY!"
- There was also Jon commenting on one of their (many) failures over the course of Subspace:Jon: "Since we're explaining things we got wrong in the first place... we know how to fight Greaps. We're just stupid."
Episode 8
- Episode eight's intro, with a particularly jerkish but true Take That! from Emile.Tim: "I'm Dumb. This is Dumber, and over on my left is Dumbest."
Emile: "WHY AM I DUMBEST?"
Jon: "Oh, I'm rolling with this!"
Emile: "Clearly, I'm not the dumbest if I've managed a channel that's gotten further than both of yours combined."
Tim: "OHH!"
Jon: "Once again, as I've stated in the past, what a douche!"
Episode 9
- When Ridley appears in episode 9, what does Jon say?Jon''': "Hey guys! It's Ridley and I've stopped falling!"
- Emile says that Zero Suit Samus's name is technically inaccurate, as she's actually wearing a suit. Jon replies to this with "It's not a birthday suit." Emile brings up that it's Jon's birthday.Jon: "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
- Emile's reaction to the stage they will be doing next time when he realizes what happens at the beginning of the stage. Jon's reaction makes it even better.
Episode 10
- Fun with Pikmin! (OK, more like fun with Steve, but...
- Emile throwing Pikmin off the stage while yelling "DIE! DIE! DIE!"
Jon: "You're starting to scare me, actually."
Emile: "Starting to?" - Jon as Captain Falcon.CAP! TAIN! FAL! CON!
- "Falcon's nipples, they are very prone to explosions, it is very messy. Captain Falcon apologizes in advance."
- "MAJESTIC!"
- Tim made an epic recovery while playing Captain Falcon... without actually knowing he was playing as him.
- "I "meta" game? Like what, at a club?"
- "That was funny, whatever it was."
Episode 11
- "WE'RE MONKEYS!"Jon: "You two doin' okay in here...?"
Emile: "We're monkeys!"
Jon: "I-" [beat] "I know." - Tim and Emile are fighting the false princesses and throw a Deku Nut, but they accidentally end up only stunning themselves with it.
- Jon realizes that since they're in his house, he can kick Emile and Tim (mainly Emile) out whenever he wants. He's overwhelmed in awe.
- So awed, in fact, that for awhile the only thing you hear him say is:
Jon: "I can kick you out of my house! I- I can kick you out of my house! Oh man!" [reverently] "I can kick you out of my house..." - The guys discuss Hawke's sticker and Emile asks if his first name was Mike. Mike Hawke. Figure out why that's funny. But wait, there's more. After that, Emile and Jon simultaneously kick Emile (yes, Emile actually helped Jon with this) out of Jon's house, leaving Jon and Tim alone to sign off for that episode.
- More puns from Emile after Snake (Tim) gets a mushroom:
- Yet another Emile pun, but Jon sees this one coming a mile away.Jon: "How dare you talk over David Hayter!"
Emile: "I guess that makes me a..."
Jon: "No, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!"
Emile: "...HATER!"
Jon: "AUGH! I knew you were gonna say it immediately."
Episode 12
- Emile's return. Jon and Tim introduce themselves and start wondering if they're missing someone. Then:[knocking at the door]
Jon: "OH JEEZ, I LEFT HIM OUTSIDE!"
Tim: "Oh no!"
Jon: "Dude, dude!" [opens the door] "I... Jeez, are you okay?"
Emile: "Next time you leave me out there, move faster, Pokey!"
Jon: "Oh you... you're going back outside, now!"
Emile: "For another week?!"
Jon: "I unlock the door and everything, and this how I get treated!" - Duon. It takes Tim and Jon six tries to defeat it.
- Here are some of the highlights from the Duon battles:
Jon: "And I hope that I don't di-" [dies] "-iie. Because that's our last life."
Emile: "You still have Falco."
Jon: [as Tim is launched into the background] "Yeah, but now if Tim dies—" [notices Tim dying] "—like that."
Emile: "Pffff. Brilliant! Every time we mentioned something going bad, it did. When will we ever learn?"
...
Emile: "You're pitiful! You're pitiful!"
Jon: "Thank you, Al."
Tim: "It's truuue!"
...
Jon: [dead serious] "Tim? We have guns." - After discussing Superman 64:Emile (to Jon): "Dude, this [episode] could come out a year from now and you would not be that far [into your LP of Superman 64]."
Jon: "Well fuck you, too!" - Jon pointing out that an upcoming segment of the game will feature the return of Captain Falcon, meaning the return of Olimar and "Steve" as well. Emile is horrified at this, especially when Jon points out that Emile's next turn would have him playing that segment.
- Jon's unexpected Big "WHAT?!" when Emile mentions he doesn't like the music
currently playing.Emile: "I never liked this song that much."
Jon: WHAT? I love this song!"
Emile: "It... sounds like someone farting."
Jon: "It's called jazz music."
* Some time after discussing Fox and Falco crashing their Arwings (right before the infamous Duon battle), we're treated to this exchange:Emile: "And robot Dialga is like... Siamese twins with robot Palkia."
Jon: Oh, there's Falco. He just felt like showing up."
Emile: "He just jumped out of the plane again."
Jon: [Chokes back laughter] "He just — I hope those things have autopilot, otherwise..." - Emile trying to take a stab at Jon's update schedule for the second time in two minutes:Emile: "You know what, no 'move faster, Pokey'. Your letting me back in the door and remembering me was like your upload schedule."
Jon: "Was that actually supposed to be funny?"
Emile: "Maybe~"
Jon: "That means no, right?" [Tim stutters] Tim has nothing to say on the subject!"
Tim: "I don't know — I can't believe there's a vegetable..." - Emile pointing out Jon's borderline psychopathic tendencies... and Jon doing nothing to dispel the image.Emile: "You blew his head off with a missile!"
Jon: "He didn't need it." - The commentary on Sheik.Jon (probably): "She's my dream man!"
- The entire ending on episode 12. The guys just seem so awed by the epic fail of the Duon fight, you can hear it in the way they're talking.Emile: "Dude, we need to give them at least some content."
Jon: "That was content! Just not very good!"Tim: I... I-I-I... zoned out."
Jon: "Stop the video now."
Episode 13
- More Captain Falcon moments from Jon:
- Captain Falcon is BATMAN!
- "YES CAPTAIN FALCON! BENCH PRESS THAT ROB!"
- "Captain Falcon is parallel parking."
- Jon praying that Meta Ridley gives him a chance to Falcon Punch him. Meta Ridley grabs the side of the Falcon Flyer and starts dragging it down while shooting fireballs. Jon, seeing his chance, yells "I LOVE YOU RIDLEY!" and makes his move... Only to get hit by a fireball and killed.
- In episode 13, Jon and Tim are picking their characters for a stage, and Tim chooses Fox.Jon: "So I've got two of my favorite characters, and you've got… two… I guess… do you like Fox?"
Tim: "Yeah, I love him! …Well, not like that…" - At the end of episode 13, Emile proclaims he is going outside again. Jon and Tim don't believe him, until he actually leaves again. They are dumbfounded until:Tim: "...Now hiring: Spot for The Runaway Guys!"
Jon: "Send your resumés to-" [episode cuts off]
Episode 14
- Luigi's Epic Fail in Episode 14:Jon: "Save your brother."
Emile: [while doing so] "I don't wanna save my brother, then I might actually get to be the main characterr—" [falls to death]- As he dies, Ness visibly Facepalms.
Episode 15
- Later in the episode, it becomes obvious that Tim is having a heck of a time with the game. Highlights include:Emile: "So we have to get to a save point or you have to get a game over if you want Jon back."
Jon: "So what you're saying is, I'm gonna be here awhile."
Emile: "Uh… well… he can die pretty quick."
[Beat]
Jon: "I was trying to be nice."
[Later]
Emile: "I'm actually amazed! He didn't die on the way to the save — that sounded really…"- Tim on the elevators:Emile: "Go down. Go down." [Tim walks away] "Tim. Okay, fine."
Jon: "Go in the ELEVATOR!" [Tim walks through a door] "TIM." - An unintentional Shout-Out to the NSMBW Let's Play:Tim: "Byyyye guuuuys!"
Jon: "TIM!"
Emile: "Ti—" [Bursts out laughing] "I'm loving this so much!" - The guys realize what the episode consists of:Jon: "Yea— aww damnit, Tim! I should stop yelling at Tim. I feel really bad."
Emile: "That's like all this video's been. It's just like TIIIIIM!" - The elevators (and Tim) continue to foil Jon's plans.Jon: "Eleva-TOR. Tim, get in the elevator." [He does so.] "Go up." [He does so.] "Yes." [Tim sends the elevator down.] "That's down, Tim. I wish I could control the elevator! Boy, howdy!"
Emile: "Go back to the elevator." [Tim gets in the elevator with Jon... and goes up. Emile laughs.] "Ti-i-im!" - But the best is, perhaps, the fact that the only thing Tim says in his defense is:Tim: "Yay!"
- Tim on the elevators:
- Jon as Captain Falcon hitting an enemy repeatedly with a fan.Jon: "Captain Falcon is your biggest fan. Captain Falcon is not above making bad jokes!"
- You don't even need to look further than the intro for the first one of episode 15. First the guys decide that Tim is his own wife and then they start singing the Captain Planet theme. Sort of.Emile: "Gonna take pollution down to zero! Go to hell and… I don't know the rest of the words."
[Beat]
Jon: "'Go to hell'? That is not in the Captain Planet theme! What is with you?" - In the process of fighting Kirby, Jon proves Freud right and Emile makes things worse.Jon: "Captain Falcon has tripped! Doing a seductive pose for you, Kirby!"
Emile: "You threw paper at him and he died..."
Jon: "Why is the taunt button so sticky!?" [Tim laughs] "What did you guys do to this controller!?"
Emile: (Quietly) "In bed." - Emile turning the tables on Jon:Jon: "Captain Falcon is back but not being controlled by Captain Falcon."
Emile: "You are so dumb." - There's also the episode's ending, which combines hopelessness and continued trolling.Emile: [Trying to wrap things up] "So, this has been..."
Jon: "A train wreck. It has been a train wreck. GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY."
Emile: "This has been a train wreck with the chuggatrain."
Jon: "The truggachain?"
Emile: "Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-trainwreck!" [Beat] "OH MY GOD. WE WEREN'T RECORDING ANY OF THAT?"
Episode 16
- The opening to episode 16.[Someone claps]
Jon: "That was a weak clap."
Tim: "Sometimes that happens. The palm just hits the wrong way."
Emile: "Weak claps, a good omen for things to come."
Jon: "Uhhhhhhm..."
Emile: "OOOH! I didn't realize what I just-"
Jon: "Go in the door, now!" - Episode 16 also sees the creation of Cyber Steve.Jon: "Come with me if you want to live. But you must get there by sunset."
- Emile points out the hostered weapons some characters never use, such as Ganondorf's sword and Captain Falcon and Snake's handguns.
Jon: [in Captain Falcon voice] "Captain Falcon doesn't need a gun, and Snake has, like, thirty other weapons." - While attempting to climb a jungle area full of mines, Tim fails horribly.[All the while, Emile is laughing in the background:]]'
Jon: "Watch out-" [Tim hits a mine] "-for the mines. Watch out for those mines too!" [Tim hits another mine] "There we go."
Tim: "Just gonna hit every single one on the way up..."
Jon: "Okay, lemme shoot this one. Or use your lightning bolt. Up-B."
Tim: "Oh yeah." [Jumps into the mines]''
Jon: "THAT'S NOT UP-B!" - The rotation comes back and bites the guys in the collective ass:Jon: "Lucas went right— why are you going left?"
Emile: "T-Tim? Tim? Tim!"
Jon: [to Emile] "It's you, you idiot! You're Peach!" - Episode 16 also features an impressive (and hilarious) number of Call Backs:Jon: "We have to go up."
Emile: "Uh... Tim does not do well with up."
[Later]
Jon: "I don't trust [Tim] with doors anymore, man!"- There's also this lengthy conversation on jackassery:Tim: "--and you're a jackass!"
Emile: [Beat] "I am?"
Jon: "Congratulations!"
Emile: "Achievement unlocked! Jackassery!"
Jon: "I don't think that's really an achievement."
Emile: "Well for you it is."
Jon: "That's normal for me."
Emile: "It's normal for you to be a jacka— oh, I guess in these recordings that makes sense."
Jon: "According to the internet, I am an asshole."
Emile and Tim: [singing] "I am an asshole, I am an asshole! I am such an asshole!" - During the rematch with normal Ridley, after Jon questions how Slowbeef and Diabetus can keep up their Ridley voice, Emile attempts to imitate the voice himself.Emile: [trying to imitate Diabetus' Ridley voice] "OIHM RIDLEY!"
[Beat]
Jon: "Wow! I... don't know what to classify that as."
[Tim moans as his character is knocked off screen]
Jon: "Charizard killed itself in response." - Jon and Emile feel a certain catchphrase is getting a little stale:Jon: "We've already used Yoshi. Numerous times."
Tim: "Yoshi! So happy!"
[Emile and Jon groan]
Emile: "We couldn't just... not say it?"
- There's also this lengthy conversation on jackassery:
Episode 17
- Episode 17 consisted of nothing but nods. It doesn't even take two minutes for it to start.
- The start of the epidemic:Jon: [singsong] "Down, down, down. Down Tim, please. There's going to be gas."
[Emile starts saying something suspiciously like 'In']
Tim: "Ya know, in the bathroom!"
Emile: [Laughs] "I knew that was coming! I felt it coming!" - A detour to Delfino:Jon: "I guess you just have to go higher up."
Emile: [not paying attention to the game] "Higher! Higher! I'm a Chuckst—!" [He flies offscreen]
Jon: "Speaking of Chucksters, you got chucked off the screen." - Emile and Tim cave:Jon: "Yeah, so basically to the left of where the gold box was."
[Silence]
Jon: "No, because we could have just paused and looked at the map and—"
Emile: [slowly] "To the le…"
Tim: "To ze left."
Emile:' "I wasn't gonna say it though, Tim said it. Can't blame that on me. Tim said it, not me!" - More jokes at Tim's expense:Jon: "Good counter, whoever that was… Tim."
Emile: "That was Tim. Considering his run with the ladders—"
Jon: "You did know you were Marth this time, right?" - An Accidental Innuendo that goes to a familiar place:Jon: "Are you punching Tim?"
Emile: "No! I wasn't punching him!"
Tim: "His arm just happened to be moving in a certain, like, back and forth--"
Emile: "Umm..."
Jon: "That's it. Make it sound worse than it actually was."
Emile: "Saying my arm is moving back and forth in a rhythm. Yeah."
Tim: "Oh!"
Jon: "Bow chicka bow wow!"
Emile: "With Tim?"
Tim: "His wife!"
Emile: "Aaaaahhhhhh!"
Jon: "YES! Yes!" - Emile's fascination with mushrooms backfires:Emile: "I want the mushroom! I wanna eat the mushroom! I wanna—"
Jon: "You would want to eat the mushroom..."- For added hilarity, it was a poison mushroom that directly led to Olimar's death. He probably shouldn't have eaten that mushroom. note
- Emile makes the mistake of saying 'troop' in front of Jon:Jon: "I'm impressed, actually."
Emile: "I went through an army of Floows and beat Cyber Peach. No deaths. I- I trooped through that." (Beat) "No. No no no!"
Jon: "You trooped through this?"
Emile: "No! No! No!"
Jon: "To Olimar! So you're picking Olimar, right?"
Emile: "Screw. You. So. Hard." [Picks Olimar]
Jon: [mumbling] "And he did it anyway..." - After they pick Wario as their wild card:
- After a few remarks from Jon and one remark from Tim, Emile finally counters with, "Hey! At least I didn't call one of the other Runaway Guys 'gorgeous' publicly." Cue Tim groaning loudly.
- Jon seizes an opportunity:Jon: "Usually your stuff is non-sequitur to me."
[Emile drives Wario offscreen and dies]
Jon: "Well then. I think you missed." - More mushroom humor:Jon: "Remember, don't stab the chickens."
Emile: [Lightly] "As long as you don't eat the mushroom."
- The start of the epidemic:
- The Indiana Jones singalong. Followed shortly by:Jon: [along with the theme music] "Jump out right now, or you'll die—" [Tim fails to take this advice, killing Fox off and nearly killing Marth. Emile laughs maniacally. Jon is still in tune] "And we did die because we missed the stupid jump. Let's go in the door~"
- The best part may be that you can hear Tim singing "On the toilet seat!" just before the incident.
- Speaking of 'Tim, his wife'...Jon: "There goes Nana."
Emile: "I lost my wife! I'm gonna have to marry a new woman at the end of this area."
Tim: "That's why I'm here."
[Later, as Emile (solo) enters a door]
Jon: "Well, you get Nana back, right?"
Emile: "No! I wasn't able to find a woman within ten seconds!"
[Peach hits him into the air]
Jon: "You found a woman but she's kicking your ass." - Jon taking reverse psychology to its logical extreme.Jon: [as they're switching off] "It is me and you, but since there's only one character... hold onto this controller and do nothing with it."
Emile: "Don't shove it up your ass."
Jon: "Yes, that is exactly what I was going to do. How dare you take that option away from me."
[Emile laughs and Tim groans] - Emile lampshading the (copious) Ho Yay.Emile: "Hey, at least I didn't call one of the other Runaway Guys 'gorgeous' publicly."
Jon: "Dun da-dun dun."
Tim: [groans] "Touche."
Jon: "He actually saw that."
Emile: "E-yup." - Jon and Emile continue their crusade against the Great Maze.Jon: (As Tim and Emile are repeatedly getting frozen) "Really? I'm, like, getting deja vu."
Emile: "That's the idea of the Great Maze. You get to relive all the great memories you had of this annoying enemy configuration the first time."
Jon: "Remember that time you got stuck and died constantly? Well here you go again." - Then, there's this little gem...Emile: "Tim is Zelda."
Tim: "I wish." - Emile comments on the Scenery Porn of the game by singing "Circle of Life"...really badly. Jon says that The Lion King is ruined for him.
Episode 18 (Story Finale)
- The guys's brains are broken when Tim enters as Yoshi and instantly has 184 damage, without coming in contact with anything that can deal damage.
- "184 is the real meaning of life."
- Jon and Tim both die...about 30 seconds after exiting a save point room.
- Jon, as Lucas, manages to use a Smart Bomb to kill Rayquaza. Emile is visibly irritated by the fact that Jon was able to use a Smart Bomb correctly as Emile's best character.Emile: "So — so you did the smart bomb right with my best character..."
Jon: "Hahaha, the irony!"
Emile: "Now I really have to prove myself." (Beat) "Well, I kinda did."
Jon: "Yeah, 'cause you hit nothing."
Emile: "I hit Tim..."- On a related note, there's Emile's last chance at using a smart bomb.
Emile: [Notices and picks up a smart bomb] "Oh baby!"
Jon: "What'd you get? Oh! This is your chance! Show us your moves!"
[Emile throws the bomb, misses Tabuu, and immediately gets killed] - During the battle with Cyber Ike, Ike seems to fall off the stage and kill himself, only to Aether up to safety just in time. Meanwhile, on the other side of the stage, Yoshi (Tim) kills himself instead.
- "I'm playing with my snake."
- Anytime Emile rolls into the spikes.
- Garth Brooks and Martha Stewart.
- Jon is playing as Lucas and Tim as Captain Falcon:Jon: "I feel weird not being Captain Falcon right now, not gonna lie..."
Emile: "You're not doing the voice enough."
(Captain Falcon dies)
Jon: "Falcon agrees with me! He's like, 'He's right. I should probably just kill myself.'" - The final battle: Tabuu hits Emile with an instant kill right as Jon (as Yoshi), lands the final blow, freezing Emile in a death animation but leaving him alive and floating in place.
- Jon's reaction to forgetting Ike for the final battle, especially when he's not in the still in the end credits where it shows everyone standing side by side. He begins acting like Ike is dead and spends the rest of the episode talking about him.Jon: "Lo-look, Ike is not in that cutscene."
Emile: "Cause we never saved..." *Cracks up*
Jon: "Ike is dead! You guys are dicks!"
Emile: "He will never fight for his friends again."
Jon: "Ike, I'm so sorry!"
Tim: "We were awesome!"
Jon: "But we killed Ike!" - When Emile finishes playing a game in which a sympathetic character lost their life over the course of the game, he will somberly remind us. He did so for the robots of the floating island. Cue Jon saying, in his usual exasperated tone, "Well that's depressing!"
- During the final cutscene, Tim gets distracted and delivers this superb Non Sequitur:Tim: (out of nowhere) "Haha! I didn't think I got that rupee! Hahahaha!"
- After the credits, as Tim hmms and haws over whether or not they're going to show the extra characters, Emile demonstrates his short attention-span and ability to take things the wrong way:Emile: "You said 'we', 'screw' and 'together' so many times in that sentence."
Tim: "Wow." - The return of the monkey hug — with extra dinosaur for good measure.Tim: (Reading the translation of Brawl's main theme) "'Now that person stands at my side'. If only we had a camera!"
Jon: "As they hug each other."
Emile: "Group Hug!"
Jon: "Nooo! Arrrgh, not again!" - And, of course, there's the fact that the thing that saved the guys in the very end — the only reason they didn't get screwed over by Tabuu — was Yoshi. So happy!Jon: "Yoshi was the winner after all..."
Bonus Episode
- The first time Tim has to fight Jigglypuff. Well, it ended badly. As in Tim died four seconds after the match started.
- Jon's response is to throw his controller down and leave the house before coming back in a few seconds later to tell Tim he hates him.Emile: (right after Jon leaves) "I guess he really did go be Canadian somewhere else."
- Tim and Jon are readying themselves for the Dark Diddy fight and Emile said "Get ready". They enter and Dark Diddy kills them instantly. Jon's reaction?Jon: "Get ready, my ass!"
- Jon's response is to throw his controller down and leave the house before coming back in a few seconds later to tell Tim he hates him.
- According to the final totals, the wins were spread around somewhat evenly between Emile and Jon, with Tim only winning "least healed". As for the losses, Tim "won" every single one of them. Except for "most healed", which went to Emile.
- After one of the first of many losses in the bonus episode, while scrolling through the received stickers:
- Captain Falcon is a pirate.
- Jon winning against Toon Link. Both are blown off the screen. Jon won because Toon Link flew off a second before him. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
- The guys notice that Wolf is giving the players (and viewers, in this case) the finger.
- Emile grabs a hammer right infront of a breakable wall, as the screen is scrolling. The hammer breaks, and Emile is forced to swing a stick at the wall. Tim had to come to his rescue.Emile: "I'M WAVING A STICK HERE!!!"
- After Tim finally beats Jigglypuff, Emile says he was half-hoping Tim would lose again so he could watch him and Jon fail have a hard time getting back there. Tim proceeds to give this surprisingly snarky comment:Tim: (to Jon) "You're gonna go back to hating him now, right?" note
Unsorted
- Anytime Emile yells "[X]'s got a gun!""Monkey's got a trophy!"
"Monkey's got a gun and he refuses to take his medication!"
"The monkey doesn't have a gun anymore. But he still refuses to take his medication!"
Versus:
- Near the beginning of the second round, after Tim accidentally kills himself:Tim: "Oh, there we go. That's more like my usual playing style."
Jon: "Wow, I didn't want the rematch to make you feel bad about yourself! I just don't want Emile to win is all!"
Emile: "Oh, thanks!"
Jon: "I want to lower your self-esteem, apparently."
Emile: "Because I didn't get enough of that in high school."
Jon: "Okay, let's not go there..."
Main Game
Mario's Rainbow Castle
- The gang has one within the first two minutes of the video:Jon: "How do you feel about multiple failed recordings of Mario Party?"
Emile: "…I feel like strangling a puppy!"
Jon: "So do I!"
…
Tim: "Hello PETA, I'm calling to report some animal abuse going on here…"
Jon: "Why did you actually pick up the phone? You just sight gagged for an audio recording!"
Tim: "Oh god." - This exchange from Episode 5:
- This exchange from Episode 1, after Jon reacts to Shy Guy sending Wario out to sea, but ignores Yoshi when the same happens to him:Emile: "And you say I'm racist!"
Jon: "Ra- How is that racist!? It's a dinosaur!"
Emile: "Dinosaurs are people too, you know!"
Jon: "No, they're not! They're dinosaurs! That's why they're called dinosaurs!" - From Part 2, when Emile finds out that he can attack people in the cutscene. "I'm punching the dinosaur's... dinosaur".
- "I wanna steal from See Map!" "See Map is a jerk."
- "THEY ATE HIM! THE GHOSTS ATE THE FAT MAN!"Emile: "And he was like "mwuuuuuh" as he's getting eaten."
Jon: "He's falling down a pit and he's getting eaten."
Emile: "Yeah, they eat him - "mwuuuuuh"!"
Luigi's Engine Room
- This conversation:
- This exchange:[Peach steals Emile's star]
Emile: [in a high-pitched, irritating tone of voice] "YEAH, PEACH HAS GOT IT!"
Jon: "That was a beautiful rendition of Peach's voice."
Emile: "It wasn't trying to be."
Wario's Battle Canyon
- "So Bowser, I hate to tell you this, but... your test results came back positive... positive for communism.
- Emile being accidentally racist or sexist is taken to extreme levels here:Emile: "It's-a-Knock-a-Block-a-Towah! ... I get more—"
Jon: "You get more and more racist every board. I'm expecting you to just, like, say the N word, like, every five seconds by the end of this game!
DK's Jungle Adventure
- A little token from Part 3:Emile: "So three humans versus the AI, alright! Time to see who is mightier: the brain, or SILICONE!?"
Jon: "That would be silicon."
Emile: "Whatever!"
Jon: "...silicone is what they use in breast implants."
[Emile and Tim burst out laughing] - This comment:Jon: "You never need the brakes! I'm a professional mine cart driver!"
[Jon's minecart falls in lava along with the opponent's.] - After Emile (and the AI) win on Bobsled Run:Emile: YYYYEAH!! "The Star is mine, unless a Warp Block screws me over, and it will!"
Jon: "Probably. I mean, you've said it out loud, so..."
Emile: "Well," (rather quickly) "I was saying it out loud to try to not jinx it, though, but now that I've said that out loud, now I've jinxed it, though, but now that I've said that out loud, I haven't jinxed it, and now that I've said I haven't jinxed it, now I have."
Jon: "OKAY!" [Emile laughs] "Time paradox, I get it! This is not Metal Gear Solid 3!
Yoshi's Tropical Island
- Emile's worst pun ever.Emile: [singing] "Chocolate Rain~"
Jon: "...really? Thank you, Tay Zonday."
Emile: "Don't Tay Zonday me, bro!"
Jon: "AAAAAAGH. AAAAAAAAGH. AAAAAAAAAGH, MY FACE IS MELTING." - In Episode 3:Tim: "Better than a sharp stick in the eye."
Jon: "I could say that, I mean anything better than a- ow! That was a sharp stick in my eye! Oh, it's eight coins, never mind."
Emile: "Having one eye's fine as long as you have eight coins."
Jon: "I have glasses on so I-"
Emile: "You can just stick the coins in your eye."
Jon: "Ew."
Eternal Star
- After Emile ended the Eternal Star roulette, they talk about how none of them were born. Then this happened:Emile: [as an old man] "Hey, way back in the old days... we didn't have... numbers."
Jon: "Back in 1927, you didn't have numbers?"
Emile: [still old] "Exactly!"
Jon: "Back in 1927!"
[Tim and Emile laugh]
Emile: [still old] "Back in a number, we didn't have numbers!" - There's Jon's reaction to Emile getting a speed block… right after he got a slow block.
Minigame Island
- Emile reaches (and clears) 1-4, which happens to be a control-stick spinning minigame. The following discussion of Nintendo's glove program ends up sidetracking into Emile saying he doesn't live with his mother.Jon: "...Why did you feel the need to point that out to everyone? It's like 'Hey guys, I don't live with my mom! Stop saying that on the internet, I don't! I swear!'"
- The entire bit where the guys argue back and forth over whether or not a drug dealer outside their window is Lucahjin.
Four Swords Adventures
Episode 1: Lake Hylia
- The guys take turns reading the story text as the start, but rather than letting someone else take over after his paragraph, Emile keeps going... and then criticizes the others for not taking over from him. Cue thirty seconds of them complaining about him not giving them a chance.Emile: "Every time I would wait for you to pick it up 'cause I saw you wanting to, and then you wouldn't, so then I would start talking, and it was right as I started talking that you would lean in."
Jon: "You waited less than a second!"- Stephen tried to rerail the dialouge back towards the text. "Tried".Stephen: (over Emile and Jon's argument) "[C]hildhood friend Link used the power of the Four Swor- IT'S GOIN' BLACK!"
- Stephen tried to rerail the dialouge back towards the text. "Tried".
Episode 13: The Field (Part 2)
- Stephen's reaction when the Guys enter a screen full of enemies while they all have shovels.Stephen: "OH GOD, WE DON'T HAVE WEAPON- oh wait we have swords."
- Jon's reaction when using the Medallion blows up the house in the center of the area.Jon: "YOU JUST BLEW UP THE HOUSE!"
Episode 14: The Swamp
- "I'm just glad you got force gems and not a man-eating chicken."
- "That's right, you don't just vote for who's the ass, you have to vote for the good guy as well. Hard to tell on this channel."
Episode 17: Lost Woods (Part 1)
- The intro has Stephen describing the game as "largely cooperative." The Guys then start debating over what that means.Jon: "Is that before or after we try to murder each other mercilessly?"
Stephen: "It's during!" - At one point, Emile and Stephen are trying to get a treasure chest containing Force Gems. Jon tries to help out Stephen by carrying Emile away, but Stephen thinks that he's the one that got picked up. In the confusion, it's Tim who gets the chest.Emile: "See, Jon? Nobody's very observant anymore!"
Jon: "I NOTICED!"
Episode 18: Lost Woods (Part 2)
- The Guys get shovels.Stephen: "Man, we gonna be doing a whole lotta digging."
Emile: "A HOLE lotta digging!"
Jon: "Alright, we're throwing him in the pit."
Episode 28: Frozen Hyrule (Part 2)
Episode 30: Tower of Winds
- When the Guys realize they need a key, Emile adds:Emile: "Maybe someday I'll sing in a key."
- "That's probably someone's dream. To have 7 women in their pocket."
Episode 34: Finale
- During the Escort Mission part of the stage, the Guys repeatedly and angrily note Zelda's status as The Load.
- This turns into a theory that Zelda is trying to kill them by spawning enemies!
- When the Guys reach the exit of the Tower, Zelda stops a few feet away. Everyone is in disbelief when they read her dialogue:
Emile and Jon: "THE EXIT'S NEARBY!?" - Jon ends the final stage with over 3,000 more force gems than anyone else.Jon: [awkwardly] "Good game, guys?"
Everyone Else: [sarcastic laughter]
Emile: "Let's get him. Let's get him. Let's... make him eat American food or something.
