To those concerned that Joel might be doing real damage to actual hardware that he spent money on: Don't worry, these wanton displays of digital violence are always done on virtual machines; no actual computers were harmed in the production of these streams.
Go here for the rest of Joel's funny moments.
- Windows XP Destruction, the one that started it all. Joel performs absolutely horrible things on Windows XP such as pumping it with dubious toolbars all while reliving the yonder days of 2002. Don't worry guys, it's a virtual machine.
- There's also his reaction to the porn site that popped up right after installing the infamous adware program BonziBUDDY.Joel: "Naked ladies"?! No—HAHAHAHAHA!! WHAHAHAHAT?! No, I don't think I wanna—(cracks up, closes the tab) YES! IT BEGINS!
- Opening Paint and drawing a picture of a deformed Yoshi and Mario on meth, all while listening to "In The End".When Mario started—STOPPED using mushrooms, he went for meth instead. So he's got bad teefffffffffff.SHUT! UP! Jesus, urgh! God, I can't stand it, even ironically!
- His YouTube Poop.
- Any time Joel impersonates Fred Durst, heard often during the full stream of the Windows XP destruction.
- He opens Paint and recounts the time when, at school, one of his classmates would always open Paint and draw a penis on every computer in the room.And I swear to God, our fuckin' teacher said: WHO'S BEEN DRAWING DICKS?
- The ending of the montage. Oh God, the ending.1999-2014JEWS"
- Once again, he downloads BonziBUDDY and it fails to run, leading Joel to praise technology's advancement...Joel: I think... BonziBUDDY.. doesn't work on Windows 7... This is the best thing ever! ...Hallelujah! Technology did it—did, like, go forward!
Joel: FFFFFFAAAACKGHHH!! <headdesk, quiet sobbing> why... why did I have to do that?
- ...Until he runs it as an administrator... then BonziBUDDY works. Because OSes before Vista/7 always ran everything as admin by default.
- Joel opening his stream while he's streaming.
- The CursorMania program, which gives you a large set of decorative cursors, including one of Jesus and one of the Pope.
- From the full stream, his reaction to a certain toolbar:
- Joel's story of the time he got a poorly done desktop stripper on his old PC. And his dad's resultant violent disappointment.Joel's dad: JOEL? JOEL? Did you download boobs again, Joel?
Joel: N-no dad, no, no-
Joel's dad: JOEL? JOEL?!
- The fact that Joel's dad asked him if he "downloaded boobs again" implies that Joel already did it and got caught at least once before.
- The opening lines of the video really set the tone for what's to come:Joel: When I was five or six years old, I asked my dad, "Dad, what is technology?" And my dad goes, "It's magic, Joel. It's magic." Ever since that day, little Joel was never the same.
- Joel tries to install an incredibly sketchy-looking "free smiley toolbar" program, which ultimately doesn't work. He still manages to have some fun mocking the typos, guilt-tripping, and very questionable imagery in the installer. But the best part comes when the installer asks him if he can fill out a survey on their website. He clicks the link and is taken to an error page. Joel immediately bursts into laughter.Joel: (reading) "Ahhh ,Dont Stop , Keep Injecting Me Those Smileys !!! I Love It !!!" (shakes his Burning Super Death Sword cursor while talking) If you're sick, if you're already sick with smileys, then why are you taking more?! Even mom, even mom, would understand there is something wrong! Even mom!
- The amusingly terrible Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites MIDI. According to Joel, it "sounds like farting into a bathtub".Joel: Sick drop. Sick. Drop.
- And prior to that, the "Darude — Sandstorm" MIDI. It's far slower and...Joel: It's like some sort of reggae version. Yeah mon! Yah mon, smoke da 'erb!
- And prior to that, the "Darude — Sandstorm" MIDI. It's far slower and...
- He installs a program that puts a three-frame animated Christmas tree on his desktop. All he can say after seeing it:Joel: Look at it! It's the worst thing ever!
- Then there's the Softonic woman and her butchered pronunciation of the word 'tutorials'. A lady with an otherwise perfect American accent butchers the pronunciation of an English word that the Swedish Joel, who's the only streamer not from an English-speaking country, catches her on.Softonic lady: On Softonic, you'll find software descriptions with the most relevant information about the program, as well as screenshots...Joel: Screenshots?Softonic lady: And video tutorals.Joel: Tu.. tu... WHAT DID YOU... tu... "tutorals"?! "TOO-TOO-ROLLS"?!
Softonic lady: To guarantee that our programs are virus-free, we scan them with more than thirty antivirus engines.Joel: THIRTY?! One is not enough?!
- The beginning of her speech is peppered with genuine cries of protest from Joel.Softonic Lady: Softonic: now available on your PC!Joel: No!Softonic Lady: Let's start using the application!Joel: No!Softonic Lady: Do you know what software you're looking for?Joel: No!
- The fact that they're proud of scanning their software with over thirty antivirus programs.
- Joel waving Bonzi around and causing the Softonic voice file to stop and stutter.
- The closing line:Softonic lady: Softonic for Windows! The easiest way to discover—Joel: To destroy your PC!
- The beginning of her speech is peppered with genuine cries of protest from Joel.
- "Oh my God, look at my scroll bar, it's like a whole Twinkie!"
- It begins with Joel commenting on the user-unfriendly layout of Windows 8's start menu, saying that it may as well be his fastest destruction video. The weather app prompts him to enter a location, to which Joel responds typing in "Hell". Then he chooses Hell, Michigan... and it promptly displays a "No data available" error message.
- After the Nightmare Fuel that was Felix the Cat for the Sega Genesis, Joel goes looking for him by searching up "Felix the Desktop Cat". Instead, he finds the mascot for Felix Cat Food in the UK, in the form of a "desktop toy" program, and downloads that. Felix does nothing but yowl occasionally and glitch violently, scaring Joel several times throughout the stream.
- Joel throws John Cena's theme into an MP3-to-MIDI converter; it does a thing, then another thing. The result sounds like a cat playing a piano.Joel: Felix, have you been fucking with my piano?
- Even funnier is the comment at the bottom of the page:Travis Foster: My MIDI sounds like someone's repeatedly breaking a piano.
- Even funnier is the comment at the bottom of the page:
- Three words: Vaporwave Limp Bizkit.Joel: It's the fucking devil!
- Three more words: Nightcore Limp Bizkit. Joel even paints over an image of Fred Durst to make him an 'anime girl'!Image Caption: HAS ANYONE REALLY BEEN FAR EVEN AS DECIDED TO USE EVEN GO WANT TO DO MORE LIKE? NYAAAAAAAAAAJoel: And God was dead.
- Three more words: Nightcore Limp Bizkit. Joel even paints over an image of Fred Durst to make him an 'anime girl'!
- The end of the first stream where Joel acts out the hypothetical possibility of his devout Christian father finding gay porn on his PC.Joel: (as his dad) Joel? Joel!? Why is there MEAT on my DESKTOP, Joel!? HAVE YOU BEEN DOWNLOADING TICKS!?Joel: No, I haven't!Joel: (as his dad) JOEL!? *slams fist down* JOEL!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
- Joel's opinion on what are the "best" MP3 files? The ones that are actually .mp3.EXE files that install malware.Joel: I listen to EXE files!
- One of the programs he ends up downloading from such a file is called "MediaDrug".
- Then, we get "gin and juice.exe", which incites Joel to raucously laugh and ultimately find it hard to breathe through cackling.
- "Windows 4 Seniors".
- Joel reminisces about You Are An Idiot.
- Later on, he crank calls the tech support number on the questionable PC Optimizer Pro. The whole call has to be heard to be believed.Joel: I sexually identify as an attack helicopter, and you will check your privilege, cis scum.
- Joel imagines ''Gin and Juice'' to be a kids show.
- As a grand finale, he runs a file called "videoxxx.avi.exe". Guess what happens... If you guessed "Russian ransomware that overwrites the master boot record", you win! The same ransomware was examined by popular ransomware investigator rogueamp about a year before the stream, meaning that for some viewers this was And Knowing Is Half the Battle.
- Not long after Joel begins searching for (fake) antivirus programs, he gets an ad with a popup that says "You'll have sex tonight".
- In the highlights video, the theme song of The Price Is Right plays when that popup appears.
- For some reason, Joel finds Windows Police Pro to be hilarious.Joel: [laughing] I'm sorry, but that's really funny. [weird accent] "Win-those eis een denge-jare."
- Another antivirus plays pig squeals when it "finds" viruses just like Kaspersky used to, which also makes Joel lose it.
- Joel browsing WikiHow:
- An article has an image with a bear oddly making a derpy, happy face.
- One of the WikiHow articles that Joel found was "How to breed Syrian Hamsters". He laughs uncontrollably, and some of the viewers wondered if Joel would get banned for technically showing hamster porn.
- The highlights video features dramatic music as Joel makes the discovery that Cortana is basically Bonzi Buddy. Sadly, the recent revision of the highlight cut skip through the music to avoid copyright infringement.Joel: (reading from Microsoft's website) "Cortana is your clever new personal assistant. Cortana will help you find things on your PC, manage your calendar, track packages, find files, chat with you, and... TELL JOKES??"
- His reaction post Mini-Freak Out is pretty golden too.Joel: Oh great, Windows fucked up even more. They made a goddamn Diet b-Coke Bonzi Buddy. Great! Fantastic! Okay, so uh so every Windows 10 is pre-packaged with Bonzi Buddy these days, oh that's fantastic! Oh great! Crème de la crème!
- Looking closely during this reveals there's a tab open with "Internet Explorer Anime" open!
- He sure has fun playing with her but specifically Joel asking Cortana for "Minecraft sex porn" and immediately regretting his decision.
- What's even funnier is that Joel was frantically trying to close Cortana's search results most likely because he didn't want to get banned for showing porn on stream. The search result was just an excerpt of Minecraft's Wikipedia page.
- Joel talking to Cortana in Swedish, who interprets what he's saying as "Will do after sushi coming home in the area with this car feels like you?"
- What was the meaning of the swedish he spoke? "Do you want to eat fermented baltic herring on my erotic ugly dick?".
- His reaction post Mini-Freak Out is pretty golden too.
- At one point, Joel watches a few videos on "instant money" systems, and keeps insisting during one of them that one dollar is enough to satisfy him. Later on, he shows another video of this ilk, but cropped in such a way that the amount of money shown is cropped to one dollar.Joel: I... swear to fuck, more of this shit??
- In the third part, Joel is browsing a selection of malware programs (mainly email worms) provided by danooct1, only for the computer to blue screen before he has the chance to actually run any of them.
- The finale of the stream can easily be considered one of the most hilarious Joel moments to grace Vinesauce history. He decided to download the "MEMZ.exe" trojan horse by Leurak, showcased earlier by famous malware researcher danooct1 in his Viewer-Made Malware series, not expecting much to happen. When he runs the program, he sees a Notepad message from MEMZ, claiming to have taken over the computer and that ending the process would only speed up the inevitable death of the computer. Joel takes this as a challenge, and the results need to be seen to be believed. How does the trojan respond? It launches all sorts of Google searches via Chrome, including how to kill yourself, downloads of Minecraft Hax (sic), how to create your own malware, and how to get rid of the MEMZ program. Thanks to the later payloads, such as color inversion, random error icons all over the screen, message boxes asking "Still using the computer?", culminating with a Droste effect achieved via BitBlt, making the whole lightshow easily comparable to Vinny's corruption streams. Joel freaks out, then restarts the computer... only to see that the computer has been completely hijacked. As showcased by danooct1 earlier, the virus overwrites the MBR, inserting a message from the MEMZ trojan ("Your computer has been trashed by the MEMZ trojan. Now enjoy the Nyan Cat..."), then playing a Nyan Cat animation. Due to Joel using a virtual machine, the extra Nyan Cat theme is inaudible due to being made to play via BIOS speaker. And the initial message is true, as the MBR overwrite payload is executed before said message is shown. And to whoever had watched danooct1's video, Dramatic Irony was in full effect the whole time. "Windows 10 Destruction" indeed!
- The post-Destruction stream is also comedy gold. After dealing with the MEMZ virus, Joel was sent VineMEMZ, a modified variety of MEMZ, to test out. Joel accepts the offer, and he's forced to take a trip down memory lane. The customized trojan has similar effects to the original, but they're changed to be based off of Joel's previous destruction streams and other Vinesauce Joel-derived memes. He's hit with a bombardment of memes that he himself had spawned, including a bunch of crappy MIDI files (most prominently a Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites MIDI from an earlier destruction stream), clips of his own voice, a crude drawing of a penis (complete with a "Who's been drawing dicks?!" soundbite), which had many a viewer wondering if Joel would get banned for having a giant penis on his screen, and Softonic. The searches that the program makes include "FUCK BEES", "Snow Halation", and various MIDI file converters. The best is saved for last, however, as Joel is forced to deal with his "worst enemy" by the trojan. Said enemy? Bonzi Buddy! Joel gets ready to use him one more time, but before he can search something, Bonzi is automatically shut down, with the caption "Rest in piss, forever miss" accompanying Bonzi's demise. The computer crashes to a BSOD, and when it turns back on, Joel is greeted with the MBR code displaying a twisted parody of the "7 GRAND DAD" title screen, showing Unmasked Felix with the title "0 Grand Dead" as a double reference to Joel's bootleg game streams. In a rather touching twist, the title screens says the following message: "Thanks Joel for your awesome Streams!"
- Right off the bat, Joel manages to make his virtual machine crash by merely playing solitaire. (He was aware of this issue beforehand, however.)
- Joel goes looking for a 'PC Cleaner' website, and ends up on Witt Clean, a kitchen company's website. He doesn't realise that he's there until he asks where he can download anything on the website, recognises the brand name and then immediately laughs.
- As a follow-up to the ice chewing forum from last year, Joel surfaces another forum dealing with a rather specific community; men's long hair. One thread's purpose is to announce that a person with a waist-length ponytail was doing good on Wheel of Fortune the previous night.
- One of the antivirus programs Joel installs, Protegent, even has a mascot — which is literally an orange recolor of Wyatt from Super Why!. But then Joel finds one of the video advertisements the company had made, which gives said mascot an unexpectedly deep voice.Joel: Protegent sounds like a dental creme...for your ass...
- The background Joel picks for his computer, which is a cup patterned with Usagi Tsukino asking for marijuana.
- Joel experimenting with MIDI soundfonts, finding particular amusement in one that's literally just gunshot noises. He later mentions once again how the iconic Seinfeld theme was created using MIDI soundfonts, and tries to recreate it to the best of his ability with the exact same soundfonts that the theme used...Joel: (laughs hysterically at hearing gunshots playing) I FORGOT I HAD SET IT TO "GUN"! KRAMER, NO! KRAMER, NOOO! (breaks down laughing)
(Cut to some time later, with him showing the file set to 400 beats per minute)
Joel: Kramer goes to war! COSTANZA, NO!
(That image of Costanza, edited to look like he's holding a minigun, starts shaking around the screen as the track plays)
Closed Captioning: *Machine gun rendition of the Seinfeld theme*
- For added amusement, the unofficial highlight reel adds gifs of Kramer shooting up dozens of people as the MIDIs play.
- Later, Joel tries to apply his MIDI experiments to the output of the MP3-to-MIDI converter. The Sailor Moon theme rendered with gun sound effects must be heard to be believed.
- The gunshot rendition of the Sailor Moon theme manages to become doubly funny when you remember that the titular Sailor Senshi was originally going to be packing heat.
- Leurak once again provides a grand finale for Act I entitled "Bonzify", in which Bonzi Buddy seeks revenge. note
- On the second part of the stream, Joel finally acknowledges how Protegent's mascot is a Super Why knock-off, and also unearths more videos from their YouTube channel — such as a very bad rap video.
- Joel finds an "interesting" fangame known as New Super Mario Forever 2015, which had downright bizarre animations for Mario, and text-to-speech voice acting for Princess Peach.
- Joel tries numerous alleged PC speed-up software sites, until he finds one where an unconvincing stock image of an old beautiful man that praises the program is displayed. Joel finds that the website downright says that the customer isn't actually real, leading him to declare his belief that such vendors lure in clueless grannies using pictures of handsome men of their age.
Joel: I would recommend a daily dosage of [Black Speech]. I would say it's very good for headache relief, it helps everything. I'm gonna prescribe you 20 CCs of [Black Speech].
- Said discovery results in Joel deciding to browse iStockPhoto — a site which, as its name suggests, is full of stock images, on a search for pictures of doctors he could use as spokespeople for questionable PC utilities. One image he finds when looking up doctors giving thumbs up is of a doctor with no face.
Joel: How is this convincing in any way, shape, or form? This is him literally going "I DUNNO! I DUNNO!! 'S A BUNCHA SHIT!!!"
- Another highlight from the visit to iStockPhoto is one photo of a shrugging businessman.
- Joel finishes off part 2 by running the NotPetya ransomware; at one point, he also plays the aforementioned Protegent rap over it.
- The third part features a literal example of Windows Destruction, via an application that lets you damage your desktop with virtual weapons.
- One of the toolbars has a weather example set to Yonkers, New York, which Joel envisions as a medieval RPG village.Joel: Yeah, get this, Yonkers? Is Yonkers a real place? That sounds like a made up, uh, sounds like a medieval role-playing game village. [in a wizard voice] Yes, get the Crystal of Strength from Yonkers, the village of the elves!
- Joel comes across a mysterious game titled "Tim Allen's Sexy Strip Poker".note
- The fun truly begins once Joel begins experimenting with ViaVoice, an old speech recognition program developed by IBM.
- Firstly, it uses a Microsoft Agent character for its tutorial (a talking pencil), which draws immediate comparisons to Bonzi Buddy.
- Its accuracy ends up being hit or miss. His first attempt at using it in the included word processor goes off the rails quickly"how it to beat its act shall meet at the collapse will know it doesn't know what what was the thing with all out a halt all beets and shall we do know it doesn't know what not played with the ball and he had been date of the ball. To sleep in their House Windows98 best system"
- At one point, Joel also uses the playback function in the word processor to directly compare the audio input to the text. It similarly goes south quickly, and gets very choppy and distorted the moment he starts yelling into the mic.Joel: Did you know this software is really good at recognizing my voice?
- "Mama Mia, LUIGI'S DRUNK AGAIN!"
- Joel is sent the file to a game called "Twister Ice Fun" (a game that's little more than an advertisement for the ice cream Twister), with the sender writing nothing but "FUCK YOU JOEL" in the accompanying email. He quickly regrets going into the "Twister Zone" when the game launches with a Slovak commercial for Twister that, for whatever reason, is Earth-shatteringly loud.
- "Hrát. Welcome to Hrát."
- Joel, for the fun of it, tries to launch it again in several new windows. This time, however, he gets a beep and some loud crackling/static sounds. Then his virtual machine blue-screens. Then the game loads anyway, producing a borderline apocalyptic cacophony of noise.Joel: Guys, that might actually be the loudest thing I've ever heard in my entire fucking life.
- While not officially branded as part of the Windows 98 Destruction, Joel fumbling around trying to get his copy of The Sims 3 to run on the same VM ends up becoming destruction. At one point, Joel misinterprets a dialog calling for a specific DirectX version or Windows NT 4 SP4 (a completely different OS) and actually tried to install a service pack for a completely different OS on Windows 98. He doesn't end up doing so, but he does have fun poking at some of the files.Windows cannot connect to GOD.
- As usual, he starts up by installing unpopular antiviruses and PC Optimizer clones through Softonic and Softpedia.
- He also installs various search toolbars, almost every one of them using the same homepage frontend and Google as Search bar.
- Through chat decisions, Joel tried to install Roblox hacks but forgetting one thing... The main Roblox game itself.
- From one, of his multiple PC Optimizers installed:Joel: Your system status: BAD.
- After blaming the program about installing multiple toolbars, antiviruses and PC Optimizers in background:Joel: (laughing) Your system status is GOOD now! Okay well, thanks! It just felt guilty!
- After blaming the program about installing multiple toolbars, antiviruses and PC Optimizers in background:
- A new impersonation was also done by him: During his moment through a German program, he did a German impersonation as if such was spoken by Yoda.
- By opening some folders in his Desktop, Joel see some Nintendo Browsers made by MediaBrowser for use with some Nintendo websites ranging from Nintendo 64 through GameCube. From the Mario Tennis one:Joel: This is the secret of downloading shit software. You don't need modern Firefox, you need Mario Tennis Browser.
- Due for the browser's code being based on Internet Explorer 5, most websites doesn't work with it anymore. With the exception of one: Bing.
- He also installs some programs from more than 10 years ago, such as CCleaner, a 2005 version of Norton Antivirus and older versions of Winamp and ZSNES. But a expected certain program was not expected: HyperCam2. By recording his audio from Sound Recorder and typing on Notepad, he did a standard HyperCam2 video, straight from the realms of 2008-12 era YouTube:WELCAM TO MY TUORTIATODAY I WILL SHOW UHOW TO MAXIMUM VIRBUSYODA CAME INAND STOLE MY GAMESIF U WANT TO DOWNLOAD FREEPLEASE HIT ME UPON MYSPACE COOL BEANS :)PS HOMEWORK SUCKZ!!!11111111111111111
- And at trying to stop screen recording:
- The stream continues by installing more older programs such as Netscape, KaZaA Lite, LimeWire and Napster.
- From his MIDI folder previously seen on his Shareware Madness streams, he plays a MIDI version of DuckTales theme on Winamp, bringing his incident at the PC version of Desert Bus.
- As for the grand finale, Leurak hits the end of stream with a surprise .bat file for Joel. The OS starts being corrupted on the screen, freezing the perfomance many times. Until it goes BSOD and... DOSert Bus, a version of Desert Bus made for MS-DOS by Leurak itself boots up. Joel had a choice of playing it for 8 hours, however, due to the charity schedule, he decided to give up and... He ducked up. Again. Note Game Over.This computer is now destroyed.The last thing it will display is this message.
- Joel's first attempt at destroying Windows 98. One highlight of note is his attempts at downloading BonziBUDDY ultimately falling apart because BonziBUDDY is too new to work on 98. He later does a proper one in 2018.
- Joel tapping into young Joel gives us this nonsense:Joel (snapping into young Joel): Hingy dingy dorgy dorgy!
- While Joel declares this attempt at destroying Windows 98 to be a bust, he does finish the system off by deleting system32. After that, he tries the Deltree command on the root of the C drive, which ends up deleting everything.Invalid system disk. Replace the disk, and press any key.
- Joel tapping into young Joel gives us this nonsense:
- By popular demand, Joel takes a crack at destroying a Mac. It turns out to be harder than with Windows, but he manages to find a way. He also plays the game Lose/Lose, which deleted several files on the computer before crashing.Joel: Rest in peace, Mac. I will never touch you again.
- Joel's first attempt at destroying Linux is on the infamous Red Star OS. You heard that right; the Linux based OS for North Korean domestic use.
- Right off the bat, Joel mentions that there's over two thousand e-mail telling him to do the destruction on said OS under one condition; never hooked it up to the Internet. He did.Joel: I like to live dangerously.
- Joel explores the wallpaper selection and slowly giggles when he discovers the bizarre assortment of wallpapers the OS have. Highlights including a poorly photoshopped artillery brigade in some snowy forest and a surreal photoshopped image of a field with tractor engines.Joel: I don't know about you guys, but it's like watching a fake image, i don't know. It's like the perspective is wrong, it's uncanny!
- Despite saying that he likes to live dangerously, the actual 'destruction' is consisting of just him opening various writing tools like notepad and sticky notes that simply says "hi i'm joel and i like nice things" like Joel is begging for his life in a gunpoint.
- At one point, Joel went on a panic after discovering a folder named "Drop Box", confusing a network sharing specifics with the cloud file hosting site.
- Joel decided to replace the current wallpaper with a high resolution picture of Luigi. But because he's selecting the tiled selection, the image appears as if Luigi's peeking at Joel's desktop, much to his chagrin.
- Afterwards, Joel went on infinitely copying a video of Gachimuchi on the desktop until the process was terminated since he had no permission to access the file.Joel: Oh no, oh no, oh no *laughing* oh no, there's too many Gachimuchi on my desktop.
- The end of the stream has Joel accessing the OS from the root file, and he uses a specific command to essentially delete almost every component of the OS akin of deleting the system32 for Windows. At first, Joel didn't find any difference until the UI disappears and nothing loads properly. Joel then reboots the OS, only to be greeted by the OS failed to boot properly and rebooting infinitely, again and again.
- Right off the bat, Joel mentions that there's over two thousand e-mail telling him to do the destruction on said OS under one condition; never hooked it up to the Internet. He did.
Go back to the main Vinesauce Funny Moments page here.EXE