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As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

General / unsorted


Season 1

  • After Jackie's death is announced on TV, one of the dancers at the Bada Bing, with her breasts bare on the podium, lightens up the morbid situation with this gem:
    Dancer: I'll never forget where I was this day.
  • The episode "A Hit is a Hit", especially when Tony relates his John Gotti ice cream story.
  • Brendan's bungled hijacking, especially Brendan's reaction when the driver accidentally gets shot.
  • Junior: "Did you hear about the Chinese Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand."
  • "We had coffee"
  • Dr. Melfi accidentally referring to Pussy as "Booty" during a session with Tony.
    • It's doubly amusing because Pussy's nickname isn't meant to be sexual like Melfi assumes. It's short for "Pussy Cat," which he garnered when he was a cat burglar in his youth.
  • Pussy grumbles while playing hearts: "I've eaten more queens than Lancelot."
  • Melfi asks if RICO (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act) is Tony's brother when Tony brings up his job dissatisfaction.
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  • Tony confronts the Trinidadian housekeeper he hired to look after his mother, as she seems too "happy" for his tastes.
    Tony: Listen. Let's get one thing straight. In the hours you're here takin' care of my mother, no ganja, okay?
  • Christopher becomes incensed at the imagined slight by the bakery clerk who keeps him waiting, pulling a gun on him and making him load a box with pastries. The following is a darkly hilarious Actor Allusion referencing Michael Imperioli's famous scene from GoodFellas:
    Christopher: Next time you see my face, show some respect.
    Store Clerk: I will.
    (Christopher shoots him)
    Store Clerk: You motherfucker! — You shot my foot!
    Christopher: It happens.
  • Carmela finds out about Uncle Junior's proclivity towards oral sex, and chooses the next family dinner to troll him mercilessly about it, without Junior or anyone else the wiser.
    Tony: Uncle Jun', how was Boca?
    Junior: Wonderful! I don't go down enough.
    Carmela: (with a smirk) That's not what I heard...
    Junior: About what?
    Carmela: (still smirking) Nothing, sorry. I don't know what I'm talking about.
    Junior: (responding to a disparaging remark Livia makes about his girlfriend) Bobbi's a sweet, sweet girl!
    (Carmela stifles laughter)
    Tony: What the hell's the matter with you?
    Junior: What did I say?
    (Tony shrugs)
    Junior: This wife of yours. She's got the giggles.
  • Possibly the greatest line in TV history:
  • In "The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti", A.J. is unconcerned about the FBI raiding the house, until Meadow points out that they'll find the porn he downloaded.
  • After the hit on Tony fails AJ and his date have to be chaperoned to the school formal by Silvio and Paulie. here.
  • Paulie getting a faceful of poison ivy while chasing down Mikey, and repeatedly interrupting Christopher’s attempts at a Pre-Mortem One-Liner. According to a psychic the next season, Mikey is still laughing about it in the afterlife.
  • Mikey Palmice and his wife's delicate and loving banter is always a hoot to hear.

Season 2

  • Tony goes to a new shrink and claims that waste management is his line of work. The guy is Genre Savvy, rejects the complicated mobster and points out he has seen Analyze This. Tony unsuccessfully tries to argue that the movie was a fucking comedy.
  • Paulie, when Tony finds out Don Zi Vittorio, the man he wanted make a deal with in Italy is senile:
    Paulie: Ton, you give this guy a golf club, he'll probably try to fuck it.
  • When Dr. Melfi waves to Tony while he's having dinner with his cronies, Big Pussy takes a moment to comment on the quality of what he assumes is yet another of Tony's amorous conquests.
    Pussy: She had nice, pipe-fitter lips. No disrespect.
    Tony: Hey, what do I give a fuck? I hardly know her.
    Silvio: You mean you would take the lips ... over the tits?
    Pussy: Trust me, my boy. There's two things I'm good at. That's pulling dents, and spottin' good blow jobs. And that sweetie had world-class blowjob lips.
  • Tony's brief dream in "Commendatori" where he is banging Annalisa while dressed as a Roman general.
  • Silvio flips out when Matthew Bevilacqua tries to sweep up the crumbs beneath his seat in "The Happy Wanderer". It's pretty epic.
  • The ending of "Bust Out", which is depicted as a heartwarming bonding moment between Tony and A.J. on the boat, except they unwittingly knock over two guys in a smaller boat as they pass by.
  • The scene where Richie Aprile has a truckload of garbage dumped in the parking lot of a deli, simply because the owner complained about missed pick-ups. The owner's reactions are priceless.
    Iranian Deli Owner: You are speaking shit to me!
  • Junior tries to tell a joke to Bobby Baccala, who doesn't get it:
    Junior: Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam, the doctor says "I know why you're having trouble". The Chinaman says, "Why?". The doctor says, "You have a cataract". Chinaman says, "No, I have a 'Rincoln' Continental".
    (Bobby stares blankly)
    Junior: You don't get it?
    Bobby: (shrugs)'' I get it; he's drives a Lincoln.
  • Tony is incensed at Richie Aprile's crippling of Beansie Gaeta, and sends Paulie and Silvio to strongly recommend to Richie that he make amends by paying to make Beansie's home wheelchair accessible.
    Paulie: Richie, hey, you're gonna build Beansie a ramp.
    Richie:' I'll build a ramp up to your ass. Drive a Lionel up in there.
  • Uncle Jun, remembering the "golden age" of the Mafia through somewhat rose-colored glasses, suggests to Tony that his feud with Richie doesn't necessarily have to end in bloodshed. Tony snarkily disagrees.
    Junior: Even rival families settled their differences amicably.
    Tony: Oh yeah, I remember that picture of Albert Anastasia lying there all "amicable" on the barbershop floor.
  • A hard day at the office: the mobsters doing absolutely nothing.
  • All of Tony's fever dreams from "Funhouse". Especially:
    • The one where Tony is in Dr. Melfi's office, they confess feelings of sexual attraction to each other, and then they make love on a desk.
    • The one where Tony is speaking to Pussy, who is in the body of a talking fish.
  • Paulie visiting a psychic is hilarious. Especially when the guy seems to be in contact with Paulie's victims:
    Psychic: Poison ivy? He wants to know if it still itches?
    Paulie: Don't fuck with me! Who you been talkin' to?
  • Tony finds out that Richie Aprile is going to finally make his move to take Tony out permanently. Tony asks Silvio for advice on the matter, and the trusted consigliere responds with his usual dark pragmatism:
    Silvio: I genuinely don't think ... there's anything to gain by keeping him around.
  • Tony finally arrives to kill Richie, only to find out Janice has already done it for totally unrelated reasons, causing a priceless "Well... this fixes a lot of problems" expression.

Season 3

  • Silvio getting angry over missing the Jets' first home game for Livia's funeral, while Chris, Ade, and Furio all do drugs to help them get through the event.
  • In "Another Toothpick", Tony and Carmela have their first joint therapy session with Dr. Melfi. It does not go well.
    Carmela: Right, just sit there silence, anger. Then you pass out and you blame the rest of the fucking world.
    Tony: Yeah, I love you too.
    Dr. Melfi: You're both very angry.
    Tony: You must've been in the top of your fucking class.
  • After Janice steals Svetlana's prosthetic leg, Svetlana angrily curses about Janice in Russian, calling her a "slut sow".
    • Svetlana retaliates by hiring two Russian thugs to force Janice to return the leg. Seeing one of them punch Janice is both amusing and satisfying.
      • Eventually, Tony himself avenges this incident by beating up the Russian goon who hit Janice. Afterwards, Tony places the unconscious Russian in a Christmas store display.
  • And Janice's narcoleptic religious boyfriend Aaron: "Have you heard the good news? He is risen." *falls asleep*
    • Or when he comes to Carmella's birthday party, and Tony tries to offer him champagne.
      Aaron: No champagne for me. The good Lord doesn't want us to drink alcohol.
      Tony: Didn't Jesus drink wine?
      Janice: Yeah, but...he was Jesus, Ton. We can't compare.
  • Christopher's drug-fueled eulogy at Livia's wake in "Proshai Livushka".
  • Tony's response to Meadow's boyfriend Noah Tannenbaum, AKA Jamal Ginsberg the Hassidic Homeboy, AKA the Oreo Cookie.
  • "Don't disrespect the pizza parlor!"
  • When Bobby and Vito are standing next to each other, Paulie remarks:
    "Look at this, it's like an ad for a fuckin' weight loss center! Before...and way before!"
  • Gigi Cestone passing away while taking a shit. Crosses the Line Twice at its finest.
  • All of "Pine Barrens", especially this gem:
    Christopher: For all we know he could be out there stalking us.
    Paulie: With what? His cock?
    • And lest we forget:
      Tony: The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando. He killed 16 Chechen rebels single handed.
      Paulie: Get the fuck outta here.
      Tony: Yeah, nice, huh? He was with the interior ministry. Guy's some kind of Russian green beret. This guy cannot come back to tell this story, you understand?
      Paulie: Ton'? Ton', you there?
      Tony: Goddamn— fuck! Call me back!
      Paulie: [to Christopher] You're not gonna believe this. He killed 16 Czechoslovakians! Guy was an interior decorator!
      Christopher: His house looked like shit!
    • Paulie and Christoper discuss the Cuban Missile Crisis:
      Paulie: How about the Cuban Missile Crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads into Cuba, pointed 'em right at us.
      Christopher: That was real? I saw that movie. I thought it was bullshit.
    • Christopher calling Paulie a "one-shoe cocksucker" during their argument.
  • Furio gets treated by a real "prick doctor": "While you're here maybe he can give you a bulge" and "Doc, see if you can remove this ladies underwear".
  • One kid revolting against "Bobby Claus": "Fuck You Santa!"
  • When Jackie and his friends rob Eugene's card game, Furio gets shot in the thigh and starts swearing. That by itself isn't funny. What is funny is that after Chris and Albert shoot Dino on the street, a car with the rest of the mobsters pull up, and as they get in, you can hear Furio still swearing.
  • Tony confronts Paulie over invading Christopher's apartment for a late night "inspection" and taking liberties with Adriana's unmentionables.
    Tony: Did you sniff that girl's panties?
    Paulie: He told you that? Fucking baby!
    Tony: You got to apologize.
    Paulie: T, I'm not apologizing to him.
    Tony: You were out of line. He's gonna marry the girl, for Christ's sake.
    Paulie: As of the wedding day, anything that touches her pussy is off limits.
  • Paulie Walnuts and Ralph Cifaretto interacting is comedy gold.
    Paulie: You're late.
    Ralph: Well tomorrow I can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever.
  • Charmaine Bucco, who despises the idea of mobsters frequenting her and Artie's restaurant, takes the opportunity to troll the hell out of them, even as they lust after her hot new look.
    Tony: It's the miracle of Christmas.
    Paulie: Next the blind will see, and the lame will walk!
    Charmaine: So, how is everything here so far, tonight?
    Paulie: Much better now that we've cast our glims on you, sweetheart.
    Tony: How you doin', 'mainy?
    Charmaine: Fine, Tony-oni. Listen — I thought you'd wanna know: those two guys over there, at that table yeah? I think they're FBI.
    (Tony, Paulie and Silvio react nervously)
    Charmaine: (giggling) I'm kidding. I'm kidding, enjoy!
    Silvio (to Artie) Your wife, her ass may be improved Artie, but—
    Tony: Hey, hey, hey, come on, Sil.
    Silvio: She's over here joking about the FBI. Since when is that funny?
  • In the end of "Army Of One", when Meadow threw something at Junior while he's singing, she sings "Oops, I Did it Again" and then suddenly ran out after Tony turns around at her.
    • Junior and Bobby Baccialeri arrive late to Jackie Jr.'s funeral, and swiftly discover the FBI is there arresting people. The elderly Uncle Jun beats a hasty retreat, jumping back into the car, nearly abandoning Bobby:
    Junior: Jesus Christ, you told me 11:00!
    Bobby: I'm sorry!
    Junior: "Sorry!", that's all I hear!
    Bobby: Junior, look!
    (Silvio and Christopher are being herded into FBI cars; Junior runs back to his and guns the engine)
    Bobby: Junior! Junior, don't leave me!
    (Junior stops, Bobby hops in)
  • All the scenes involving Big Mouth Billy Bass and Tony's, *ahem*, issues with it. Then on Christmas day he opens Meadow's gift, and finds she has bought him... a Big Mouth Billy Bass

Season 4

  • Ralph's infamous joke about Ginny Sacramoni's weight, saying that she recently "got a 90-pound mole removed from her ass".
  • In "The Weight", Johnny Sack vents his spleen to New York boss Carmine Lupertazzi, lobbying hard for harsh retribution against Ralph for the insult against his wife. Carmine shows little interest in his underboss' troubles, offering a relatively weak penalty, and takes a moment to comically miss the point:
    Johnny Sack: I want you to sanction a hit against Ralph Cifaretto.
    Carmine: What? Are you fucking kidding me?!
    Johnny Sack: He violated my wife's honor!
    Carmine: (genuinely confused) Ralph slept with Ginny?
    Johnny Sack: (sighs) ...He insulted her. He made a very insensitive joke about her body to some friends of ours.
    Carmine: What did he say?
    Johnny Sack: (sardonically) Do I hafta repeat it? My word isn't good enough?
    Carmine: (matter-of-factly) Not if you want him clipped over it.
    Johnny Sack: (sighs) He said... (strained) she was having "a 90-pound mole removed from her ass".
    (Carmine stares blankly)
    Johnny Sack: The implication is that her ass is so big she could have a mole that size removed from it!
    Carmine: ...That's an off-color remark. It was highly inappropriate. If you want, I'll demand he's taxed. But clip him? (shakes his head)
    Johnny Sack: Is... Is it all just about money?
    Carmine: I crack him good. I'll ask for 200 grand.
    Johnny Sack: 200 grand for insulting my wife? What's next, Carmine, he get to FUCK HER FOR A MILLION!?!
    Carmine: He wants to fuck her?
  • Vito breaks a chair and falls off like a dead elephant in "Pie O My".
    • Later, Adriana sits in the same chair and also falls off.
      Adriana: They broke my fucking chair!
  • Artie Bucco psyching himself up in front of the mirror before he attempts to intimidate Jean-Philippe into coughing up the money he owes him, really pathetic Taxi Driver style in "Everybody Hurts".
  • Tony, Ralph, and Brian Cammarata waking up in the Bing in the morning, after a night's worth of partying, with both Tony and Brian visibly hungover.
  • Ralph Cifaretto's epic phone prank on Paulie's poor mother.
    Ralph: Mrs. Marianucci Gualtieri?
    Mrs. Gualtieri: Yes?
    Ralph: This is detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania Police Department. You have a son, Peter Paul?
    Mrs. Gualtieri: Oh, my God, what happened?
    Ralph: He's alright ma'am, but he's in a little trouble. We found him in a public men's room in Lafayette Park. I don't know how to put this delicately: he was sucking a Cub Scout's dick.
    Mrs. Gualtieri: No, it's a mistake!
    Ralph: Ma'am, I wish that was all. We had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters after discovery of a small rodent in the rectal passage.
    Mrs. Gualtieri: Oh, my God!
    Ralph: A gerbil, ma'am. The County does not cover medical procedures deemed caused by criminal sexual activity: Section 4, paragraph 15. We'll need an insurance number.
    Mrs. Gualtieri: Marone. I have Blue Cross Blue Shield. Is that all right?
    Ralph: Ma'am, could you hold on for one second? I have the hospital on the other line.
    (Ralph abruptly hangs up, and he, Vito Spatafore and Eugene Pontecorvo bust out into uproarious laughter)
  • Christopher's drug intervention in "The Strong Silent Type", which ends up with him being pounded six ways to Sunday. Then Tony ices the cakes at ER.
    Nurse: He slipped off the kitchen counter while spraying for ants?
    Tony: Well, he was wearing socks.
    • The guys don't seem that pissed off. Until they find out he accidentally fell asleep and suffocated the dog. Then they get pissed.
      Tony: You killed little Cosette?! I oughta suffocate you, you little prick!
    • Silvio's short, but sweet contribution to Christopher's intervention;
      Silvio: (reading his statement) "When I came in to open up one morning you had your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting."
      Christopher: I told you, I had the flu.
      Silvio: I said my piece, Chrissy.
    • Then we get to Paulie:
      Dominic: Paul, you wanna read your statement?
      Paulie: I don't write nothing down, so I'll keep this short and sweet. You're weak. You're out of control. You've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.
  • Christopher reaction to Tony's speech about playing the minority-victim card: "He was gay, Gary Cooper?"
  • A discussion about Billy Budd in "Whitecaps". A close call between Carmela's clueless rant about homosexuality and Tony's "no offense", assuming one of Meadow's friends is gay and the ensuing disbelief when the boy replies he's not gay.

Season 5

  • "Two Tonys":
    • The bear.
    • Tony B calling Paulie Grampa Munster and telling him to "let the first coat dry before putting the second coat on".
    • When Tony wants to talk to Chris about the feud between him and Paulie:
      Chris: This about the easter baskets?
      Tony: I don't even know what that is, and to tell you the truth, I don't want to know.
  • "Where's Johnny?":
    • Junior absentmindedly wandering around the city.
    • When Tony storms off from Sunday dinner after one too many remarks about his skills as a varsity athlete:
      Tony: Get your coat, we're leaving!
      AJ: I don't have a coat.
      Tony: Well, then get moving, goddamnit!
    • Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm doing a crossover in Junior's mind. The resemblance is certainly there.
    • Paulie Walnuts and Feech LaManna's dispute over landscaping territory:
      Paulie: Which entitles you to shit! In my book, you get points for staying outta the can!
      Feech: Good thing for me, then, that your book don't mean oogatz to me! What's yours is yours, Paulie, but what ain't is anybody else's! Now do yourself a fucking favor and get the fuck outta my store!
    • The violence Feech and Paulie inflict on the landscapers is an excellent example of comedic sociopathy, particularly when Paul whacks one of them over the head with a shovel, resulting in him dropping the rope and the guy cutting tree branches falling to the ground. This is followed up with Paulie taking the guys wallet and lawnmower, driving off with the lawnmower sitting in his open trunk. Earlier, there's Feech giving a groin attack to Sal Vitro, while Tony B gives an understated, "there he goes again" type expression before he leads Feech away from the scene.
    • Tony, Chris, and Vito's meeting with Johnny Sack. Namely, Chrissy speaking too much and pissing off Johnny Sack, while Tony tries to shut him up by asking for him to pass the bread. Johnny then loses his shit at Chris and leaves. Gilligan Cut to Tony yelling at Chris in the car for fucking everything up.
  • "All Happy Families...", AJ comes home after a drug fueled night out and no eyebrows. Tony enquires what happened, leading to the priceless line of Poppers and weird sex. Carmella's facial reaction nails it.
  • Tony and Adriana laughing about and imitating Christopher's disapproving expression in "Irregular Around the Margins", with Tony comparing him to a constipated owl.
  • Christopher calling Vito a "parade float".
  • When Paulie first meets Finn in "Unidentified Black Males", he orders "Shaggy" to clean dog feces off his tires and threatens to knock his teeth out. His facial expression when he finds out he's Meadow's boyfriend is priceless. He then he proceeds to suck up to him. 100% Paulie in a nutshell.
  • Tony S. and Tony B. mercilessly troll poor Christopher for abstaining from alcohol in "Cold Cuts".
    Tony: What the fuck's so funny about that? Doesn't even make sense.
    Tony B.: Well, he's drunk.
    Tony: Him? No way. He's in recovery.
    Tony B.: Well if you recover your fuckin' balls, give us a call. We might like to hang out.
    Tony: No, seriously, it's not funny. He's a 12-stepper, right?
    Christopher: Well, yeah. You know that.
    Tony: That's right.
    Tony B.: Maybe he can take another couple of steps out the door so we could have some fun?

    Tony B.: So, how do you like his car? Schwarzenegger's. You told me you didn't pay for it. You gave the guy a hum-job.
    Tony: For the Hum-vee.
    Tony B.: Maybe he'd like to hum me.
    Tony: A friend of Bill over here?
    Christopher: Fuckin' wits over here.
    Tony B.: Bill? I'll say.
    Tony: That? That's not a bill, that's a beak!
    Tony B.: On the way home, we can drop him off at Beakskill.
    Tony: Well, if beaks could kill, that one certainly would!
  • "The Test Dream" — "Hey, you're Annette Bening!"
  • "All Due Respect":
    • Phil saying he's from AA and then replying "we are anonymous" when asked for his name during his otherwise horrible harassment of Chris' mother.
    • Phil is so offended and livid at Blundetto killing his brother. "With no provocation whatsoever", is how Phil describes it, when the killing was retaliation for them killing someone. A former consigliere and made man is killed...and Phil complains about his car, showing just how much he cared about killing a made guy in his own family (yes, it was sanctioned by Johnny Sack, but it is still callous murder). But then his brother (and almost himself) is killed in retaliation, and he acts like it is such a tragedy. It should be sad that Billy died but to act like it is so unexpected and egregious somehow crosses the line twice. Topping it off is how animated he gets when talking about his brother's murder. It is such a tragedy that a guy who lived by the sword died by the sword.

Season 6

  • From "Members Only": "Ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?" - Christopher, yet again.
  • From "Join the Club": "He Marvin Gayed his own nephew". Vito summarizing the incident between Junior and Tony, black comedy at its finest.
  • "The Fleshy Part of the Thigh":
    • Paulie Walnuts, not long after finding out that the woman he thought was his mother his whole life was actually his aunt, and that his real mother was his "aunt" the nun, who, fearing scandal, handed baby Paulie over to her sister Marianucci to raise, is approached by Father Intintola in the hospital. The priest innocently asks after Tony, who's in the ICU recuperating from a gunshot wound...
    • Bobby offers to help a rapper win some street cred by having getting him shot, aiming for a fleshy part of his thigh to minimize injury. But when he receives one thousand dollars short of the asking fee for the job, Bobby proceeds to shoot the rapper in the equally fleshy ass instead, all while dressing up like an obese street thug.
  • "Mr. & Mrs. Sacrimoni Request":
    Johnny: An actual fucking cake!
  • "Live Free or Die":
    • Paulie (upon hearing about the rumors of Vito Spatafore's sexual orientation):
      "Tell you one thing, if it was me this kid was spreading rumors about, he'd have something up his own ass. And it wouldn't be no cock, either!"
    • The "enlighted" discussions about Vito allegedly being an "ass muncher" Crosses the Line Twice and then some more.
      Think about it, though, Ton'. Sudden weight loss...AIDS!?
      Tony: Nobody got AIDS!
      Gervasi: Catching, not pitching
      Chris: It'll be ok, we'll get him to pay for some therapy...
      Tone... when he was always talking about greasing the Union, who knew that's what he meant."
    • After Silvio visits Marie to try to find out about Vito.
      I'm telling ya... my business, I'm around a lot of women. That one ain't getting laid.
    • Tony's phone conversation with the roadside worker.
      Roadside worker: Hello?
      Tony: Vito?
      Roadside worker: Who?
      Tony: Put Vito on the phone, asshole.
      Roadside worker: Fuck you, motherfucker.
      Tony: What, are you sucking his dick? Put him on.
      Roadside worker: How about I kick your ass, you fucking faggot?
      Tony: Yeah, that's right, telephone tough guy. Put Vito on the phone!
      Roadside worker: Look, there ain't no Vito, man. I found the phone on the side of the road.
      Tony: What?!
      Roadside worker: Hang on a second. (tosses the phone under a passing steamroller, which promptly crushes it)
  • "Luxury Lounge":
    • "We were just discussing La Cage Aux Fat!"
    • Hearing Lauren Bacall drop an F-bomb, twice.
    • Phil Leotardo uses the celebratory dinner after a made man ceremony to makes his feelings on Vito's homosexuality known in his usual diplomatic manner:
      "And in light of recent humiliations, it's a honor to be joined by men — and not FAGGOT-ASS, CORN-HOLING COCKSUCKERS like what married my cousin. He should fuckin' DIE!"
    • Artie Bucco's meltdown during his interrogation of the restaurant staff, when he discovers that someone has been selling credit card numbers.
      "No, fuck you! I don't know which one of you pieces of shit did this, but I've been good to you! And you pay me back with non-stop ass rape?!? Well, FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!"
  • Burt and Patsy's attempt to shake down the manager of a Starbucks Expy for protection in "Johnny Cakes", as they realize he can't pay them off because he has to account for all expenditures through the corporate office, and there are too many locations for corporate to care about vandalism. The two leave, and Patsy laments "It's over for the little guy."
  • In "Moe n' Joe", Vito is stuck in a boring handyman job, constantly trying to resist the temptation to look at his watch to see when his lunch break is. Finally he convinces himself it's almost noon with the sun's position, but then sees on his watch that it's still more than an hour away and screams "FUCK ME!"
    • Notably the first time since season 1 that a character provides a voice-over.
  • "Cold Stones":
    • Vito returns:
      Vito: It was the medication I was on. For my blood pressure. It fucked with my head, but I'm over that now. I could probably get a letter from my doctor
      Tony: A note from your doctor saying you don't like to suck cock?
    • When Phil is comforting Vito's widow, one henchmen happens to be absorbed watching a bodybuilding show full of half-naked men. Naturally, Phil is annoyed and orders him to turn the TV off.
    • Fat Dom making gay jokes at Jersey's expense...what could possibly go wrong?. Hilarity ensues. It gets better when Tony shows up and does his WTF? routine while Carlo tries to sheepishly cover his own ass.
      Carlo: Sil hit him first...
    • Carmela finds out that AJ got fired from Blockbuster:
    Carmela: I went to Blockbuster to rent Cinderella Man, but guess what?
    Tony: Is it stil an American classic?
  • Carmine Jr. trying the "Uncle Philly" soft approach, only to taste Phil's usual niceties: "Uncle Philly my ass!"
  • "Kaisha":
    • The awkward game of Monopoly between Tony, Carmela, Janice and Bobby:
    • Phil gets nicknamed "The Shah of Iran". Later topped when Phil, "everloving extraordinaire" takes offense to it when he's summing up why Jersey sucks. Being compared -and quite benignly- to Royalty seems to infuriate him the most!
    • The meeting of minds, all of it up to Carmine's Epic Fail. It starts with reaction shots of Tony and the rest trying not to die in the couch while enduring Little Carmine's pomposity.
      Little Carmine: For whatever reason, certain incidents have expired lately, that, in addition to being dangerous, could have an adverse impact on our respective bottom lines.
      Phil: I know Vito's bottom was impacted if that's what you're referring to.
    • Then a few seconds later:
      Phil: He's MIA, a lot of people are concerned for his well-being.
      Tony: So what the fuck would I know about that?
      Phil: Well as coincidence would have it, he was last seen in New Jersey.
      Tony: So was the Hindenburg, maybe you wanna look into that too.
    • And finally
      Little Carmine: Your brother Billy, whatever happened there...
      Tony:[...] Alright then.
      (Carmine feels the need to elaborate, as if Phil was asking for clarification)
      Carmine The shooting...
  • "Soprano Home Movies".
    Bobby: You know, the Parker Brothers took time to think this all out. I think we should respect that.
    >Tony: Fuck the Parker Brothers. Just play the game.
  • "Walk Like a Man":
    • Christopher and Paulie have yet another heated "discussion" over money":
      Paulie: Lower your voice. I got neighbors!
      Christopher: Fuck your neighbors! When you gonna pay me?
      Paulie: When you suck the money out of my ass! Now get the fuck out!
    • A drunken, nearly incoherent Christopher rambles on about his newborn daughter to the gang at the Bing, who all find the pitiful display hilarious;
      Christopher: And she looks up, back at me—
      Paulie: "How the fuck do I put myself up for adoption?"
      (chuckling from the other mobsters)
      Christopher: What?
      Paulie: Nothing. Go ahead.
      Christopher She ain't adopted, Paulie.
      Paulie: I'm kiddin'! (Chris stares blankly at Paulie) What were you saying?
      Christopher: My point — what the fuck was — is babies! They're the future. (Chris gets a silent reception, he takes a large sip of his drink) Do you realize by the time Caitlin's outta college, it'll be like, the year 2027 or something?
      Paulie: She takes after you, she won't be outta fourth grade by then!
      (much guffawing from the other mobsters)
      Paulie: Look, by that time, she'll be workin' here, so who gives a shit?
      (distorted, cackling laughter resumes)
  • In the last therapy session with Tony in "The Blue Comet", Dr. Melfi is upset with Tony for a variety of reasons, one of which is that he tore a page out of her waiting room magazine. When Tony leaves, he places the torn out page back in the magazine and gently shuts it. Just funny the way he does it.
  • "Made in America":
    • Just before his car explodes:
      A.J.: At least my gas tank was practically empty.
      (SUV explodes not a second after he says that)
    • Tony and Carmela are chewing AJ out for his SUV blowing up. When Meadow tries to stick up for her brother:
      Tony: You mind your own goddamn business unless you want some of this too!
      Meadow: [while walking out] Mr. Fat Mouth.
      Tony: What did you say?!
    • Tony singing the Rocky theme while following a jogging AJ in his car.
    • Paulie's feud with the cat.
      Paulie: I say get rid of him.
      Tony: Leave 'im. He's a good guy.
    • Phil Leotardo's death is just too ridiculous to take seriously.
    • As sad as Uncle Junior succumbing to Alzheimers may be, there's something darkly amusing, not only about the fact that he's forgotten that he used to be a mobster but also his utterly blasé reaction to Tony informing him of it.
      Tony: You don't know who I am, do ya? Remember Johnny? Johnny Boy? Your kid brother? "This thing of ours?"
      Uncle Junior: I was involved with that?
      Tony: You and my dad. You two ran North Jersey.
      Uncle Junior: We did?
      Tony: Yeah.
      Uncle Junior: Hmm. Well, that's nice.