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Recap / The Sopranos S 3 E 9 The Telltale Moozadell

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Paulie: Amazing thing about snakes is that they reproduce spontaneously.
Tony: What do you mean?
Paulie: They have both male and female sex organs. That's why somebody you don't trust you call a snake. How can you trust a guy who can literally go fuck themselves?

Tony surprises Carmela with a birthday present of a sapphire ring. Shortly afterward, her children give her their respective gifts as well, each of which benefits the giver more than the recipient: AJ bought a DVD of The Matrix, which he didn't bother to wrap, and Meadow used Carmela's credit card to purchase a spa day for the two of them. At Carmela's birthday party that night, Jackie Jr. arrives late and later takes Meadow to a movie. AJ spends the night at a friend's house and ends up breaking into his private school, Verbum Dei, where they vandalize the pool and destroy the trophy case.

Tony carries on an affair with Gloria Trillo, the saleswoman from Globe Motors and fellow patient of Dr. Melfi. She spontaneously decides to go to the Bronx Zoo, where they have sex in the reptile room. Tony also discovers Gloria's Buddhism and the philosophy of "participating joyfully in the suffering of the world". During Melfi's next session with Gloria, Melfi questions her about a man's voice she heard on the phone when Gloria canceled a recent appointment, but Gloria denies this. A history of troubled relationships is implied.

The principal of Verbum Dei is appalled at the vandalism and finds a pizza box for a custom order on the premises. Two cops visit the pizza joint in question and request information about the custom order. It is immediately linked back to AJ, who is chastised by both parents for potentially getting himself expelled and ruining his promising football career. When asked why he did it, AJ does not seem to know the reason himself, claiming he just did what everybody else was doing.

The relationship between Jackie Jr. and Meadow becomes more official, as they date regularly and she writes essays for him. Tony seems to approve and Rosalie Aprile is ecstatic at the union, but Carmela seems more uncertain. Tony speaks to Jackie Jr. personally, reminding him that his late father wanted him to stay out of trouble, and Tony will enforce this even more strictly now that Jackie is dating his daughter. Jackie references an "A" he got on a recent paper, not mentioning that it was actually written for him by Meadow herself. Regardless, Jackie remains a class act when he visits the Soprano home later, bonding with AJ over football.

At his next session with Dr. Melfi, Tony seems to be in a chipper mood. He mentions "participating joyfully in the suffering of the world", a phrase that Dr. Melfi recognizes, but she is also unable to get Tony to divulge his relationship with Gloria. He offers her a "bonus" at the end of the session because the therapy seems to be working especially well. Melfi claims she cannot accept it, but Tony leaves it with her regardless. She shortly gets a call from her son Jason, requesting money for some expensive textbooks. During Tony's next rendezvous with Gloria at a hotel, he lets her hold his loaded gun, which fascinates and arouses her.

The owner of a club called the Lollipop is busted out by the mobsters, who take ownership of the building. Christopher gives Adriana the management position as a gift, and she renames it the Crazy Horse. A drug dealer named Matush is kicked off the premises when he's found selling Ecstasy in the bathroom. Matush contacts his friend Carlo, who puts him in touch with Jackie, Jr., who he claims is connected to the mob and can vouch for Matush. Jackie, Jr. feels an inflated sense of importance and becomes more interested in the mob life, later asking Ralphie Cifaretto for a gun, which Ralphie hands to him on the spot. However, when Jackie tries to talk to Christopher about the Matush situation at the Bada Bing, Christopher simply refuses, and Jackie panics when he sees Tony entering the club, fleeing out of the fire exit and causing the alarm to go off. He returns to Matush and claims he reached a compromise with Chris, telling Matush he can sell drugs near the Lollipop but not on the premises. He also demands a cut of Matush's profits.

Tony, Carmela, and AJ meet with the principal and football coach at Verbum Dei and are surprised to learn that rather than being expelled, AJ will simply be put on probation due to his importance to their sports program. The faculty recommends that Tony and Carmela discipline AJ their own way at home. They withdraw the usual privileges of computers, video games, and skateboards, and also demand that AJ clean the gutters at the house. It turns out that AJ doesn't even know what a gutter is.

The situation with Matush promptly backfires when he is caught selling drugs to the Lollipop patrons in a nearby lot. Despite name-dropping Jackie, he is beaten severely and hospitalized. Jackie visits him there, and Matush claims that the mobsters don't seem to like him (Jackie) very much. Later, Jackie gambles at the Bloomfield casino, where he runs into Tony, who is furious. Jackie makes a weak excuse that he's there for a bachelor party, but Tony is unconvinced and has second thoughts about Jackie's relationship with his daughter. Returning home the next morning, Tony finds that Carmela's wariness of Jackie has softened in light of his good behavior around the house. Tony keeps the encounter at the casino to himself.

Tropes:

  • The Aesthetics of Technology: Hugh is bewildered by A.J.'s and Meadow's use of beepers.
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys:
    • Carmela is worried that Meadow is falling into this with respect to Jackie.
    • Between playing with his gun and sarcastically calling him "Mr. Waste Management", Gloria clearly knows that Tony is in The Mafia. And yet that only heightens the appeal for her.
  • Always a Bigger Fish: In an effort to retain his dealing grounds, Matush makes an appeal to Jackie Jr., a self-proclaimed "associate" of The Mafia. Jackie takes his case a step higher, and attempts to contrive a sit down with Christopher... who scornfully dismisses both Jackie and the issue he presents.
  • Armor-Piercing Question: Tony to Jackie Jr.: "How many days off they give you at Rutgers?" Jackie squirms and tries to hide the fact that he's flunking and well on his way to dropping out. And indeed, he doesn't want Tony of all people (owing to Tony's promise to Jackie Sr.) to figure out that Jackie Jr. wants the mob life instead.
  • Armor-Piercing Response: Jackie Jr. asks Mutash if he dropped his name when he went back to the Crazy Horse after the latter suffers a second and even worse No-Holds-Barred Beatdown. Mutash replies, "They didn't give a shit. I don't think they like you." Jackie Jr. looks away, uncomfortable with the truth that he's suffering from Small Name, Big Ego.
  • Blatant Lies:
    • Jackie Jr. tries to cover in front of Tony that he's flunking out of Rutgers. More specifically, the one instance where he has a good grade, an A paper in his literature class, he claims he wrote. We know from a previous scene that Meadow wrote the whole thing for him.
    • Tony to Gloria: "I never met anyone like you before." Arguably he's lying to himself as much as to Gloria. Anyone who's been watching the show since the beginning can pick up from a mile away that Gloria is a Suspiciously Similar Substitute for Irina.
    • Gloria to Dr. Melfi, that wasn't Tony in the background, it was a mechanic fixing her car. Tony slips about "joyfully participating in the suffering of the world", which he got from Gloria. He tries to pass it off as getting it from Sun Tzu. Dr. Melfi connects the two together and easily figures out the Revealing Cover Up.
    • Jackie Jr. when he tells Matush that he can deal Ecstasy near the Crazy Horse. Matush learns the truth the hard way.
  • Book Dumb: Explicitly confirmed for Jackie Jr., as Meadow is doing his homework for him.
  • Bouncer: Furio takes on this role impromptu for the Crazy Horse.
  • Buy Them Off: Carmela is initially elated over Tony's gift of the sapphire ring. But by now she's caught on that these kinds of gifts often coincide with Tony's infidelities. And indeed she does start to regard the ring itself with suspicion. The suspicions are correct as Tony is diving into it with both feet with Gloria.
  • Can't Get in Trouble for Nuthin': The school clearly does not plan to punish A.J. because he's become an important part of their freshman football team. Carmella sees right through it.
  • Cassandra Truth: Tony and Carmela think A.J. is just being a smartass by pretending he doesn't know what gutters are. He actually doesn't know what they are because he's been so spoiled and sheltered growing up.
  • Celebrity Paradox: That DVD of The Matrix features an actor who should look awfully familiar to A.J.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Ralph's gifted gun to Jackie. It resurfaces again as season 3 draws to a close.
  • Clue, Evidence, and a Smoking Gun: A.J. enjoys a particular custom-built pizza, and it's what leads to him getting busted for the school vandalism.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Upon hearing that his pizza was found at a crime scene, the pizzeria owner says, "My pizza never hurt nobody!"
  • Commonality Connection: A.J. and Jackie Jr. start to bond as both of them are talented football players.
  • Continuity Nod: When Meadow mocks Eric Scatino's car as a Lame Gift and notes that Dave Scatino is now in a mental health facility in Nevada.
  • Double-Meaning Title: The title refers to Jackie Aprile, Jr.'s dishonest dealings with Tony and Matush and to A.J.'s custom-made pizza with extra mozzarella cheese—which led to him and his friends being caught for vandalizing the pool.
  • Dude, Not Funny!: How Matush reacts when Jackie Jr. cracks a bad joke about still being able to use his right arm, post-No-Holds-Barred Beatdown.
  • Empty Cop Threat: The worker at the pizza parlor recognizes the pizza as having been A.J.'s. He's reluctant to rat out A.J. until the cop threatens him with charges of being an accessory after the fact.
  • Evil Mentor: Ralph accedes to Jackie Jr.'s request for a gun on the spot, free of charge, with his own agenda in mind. He even instructs Jackie on the merits of a .38 as a small weapon that can easily be hidden, and won't jam.
  • Evil Parents Want Good Kids: Tony kicks Jackie Jr. out of the casino to try and honor his promise to Jackie Sr.
  • Foreshadowing:
    • Carmela and Rosalie aren't up to trying Artie's cheese and beans recipe. They note that he seems stressed over his pending divorce from Charmaine. Artie's status as the Supreme Chef will come into question in future episodes.
    • Matush tries to ply his petty drug dealing in the Crazy Horse more than once in this episode. It won't be the last time, and with enormous repercussions for Adriana.
    • Tony to a mild degree takes jabs towards Buddhism, and he has this reaction when he notices Gloria's necklace. It leads him to call Janice a whackjob for having dabbled in it in the past. Gloria gets defensive and maintains she's definitely not a whackjob. It turns out that Gloria absolutely is a whackjob, just for reasons that have nothing to do with Buddhism.
    • On that note, Dr. Melfi notes that Gloria previously attempted suicide after a nasty breakup...
    • Silvio tells Chris that there is so much more to running a club than the glitz and glamour and that the day-to-day operations and managing relations with the performers can be a source of tremendous stress. Adriana is going to learn this the hard way.
  • Gift-Giving Gaffe:
    • A.J. not only buys his mother a DVD of The Matrix, which she almost certainly has no interest in, but doesn't wrap it (claiming environmental concerns), and can't even be bothered to wait for her to start watching it.
    • Meadow's gift of a day at the spa counts as well as she used Carmela's credit card to buy it and added herself as a plus one. Note Tony quietly shaking his head when Meadow explains it.
  • Gilligan Cut:
    • Tony tells Dr. Melfi to give the bonus he's handing her to her favorite charity. Cue her son calling to say he needs money.
    • Carmela notes to Rosalie, "You can only push a man so far". Cue the next scene of Gloria meeting Tony again with a huge smile on her face. Gloria will do her utmost to test the limits of Carmela's statement.
  • Irony:
    • Rosalie notes to Carmela that the marriages to the mobsters are the most stable ones, while the one between Charmaine and the straight Artie is in the "Pishadoo" (Italian slang for "toilet").
    • Jackie tries to buy a gun convinced it will improve his survivability. It ends up being used to punctuate an order to end his life.
  • It Was a Gift: Chris makes a gift of the Lollipop Club to Adriana, which becomes the Crazy Horse.
  • Literary Allusion Title: The title is one to the Edgar Allan Poe story The Tell-Tale Heart.
  • Mid Life Crisis Car: Tony decided not to buy the Mercedes, which Carmela describes as a "mid-life crisis mobile".
  • No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Furio gives more than one to Matush for his multiple attempts at dealing drugs inside the Crazy Horse.
  • Oh, Crap!: When Jackie Jr. notices that Tony has entered the Bing while he's trying to have a business meeting with Chris. Precipitates a Not So Great Escape through the fire exit for Jackie.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Tony still hasn't gotten over Meadow having dated Noah. "Jamal Ginsburg, the Hasidic Homeboy."
  • Pragmatic Villainy: Chris shuts down any efforts by Jackie to allow Mutash to deal Ecstasy in the Crazy Horse since it is a priority for FBI task forces. He doesn't want that kind of heat on Adriana's establishment.
  • Revealing Cover-Up: Gloria's lamely explaining a man's voice Dr. Melfi heard on the phone as "probably a mechanic" and Tony's adoption of Gloria's Buddhist posturing give Melfi all the evidence she needs that they're having an affair.
  • Rule of Symbolism:
    • Paulie and Tony are watching a nature show about snakes. Paulie goes into full Cloudcuckoolander mode about how snakes can have sex with themselves, thereby fathering and carrying their own offspring all on their own. According to Paulie, you can't trust an organism that can literally Precision F-Strike themselves. This little nugget is meant to scream to the audience indirectly that Gloria cannot be trusted by any reasonable yardstick, and will manifest self-destructive tendencies. Further reinforced by a captive python in the background when Tony and Gloria have their Wall Bang Her scene.
    • Tony and Gloria watch the gorillas at the zoo and reflect on their perceptions of the gorilla's seemingly quiet and subdued behavior without realizing how applicable those same observations are going to be to their own interactions. For example, the theme that a gorilla can seem quiet and harmless yet dish out incredible violence in an instant could almost amount to an Animal Motif for Gloria. The theme of threatening behavior to warn off a predator without actually having to follow through will also Foreshadow a future Offer That Gloria Can't Refuse.
  • Sarcasm Mode: When Tony sees through A.J.'s Gift-Giving Gaffe. "Right up her alley."
  • Shout-Out: Ralph giving Jackie pointers on how to prepare spaghetti and sauce is a tip of the hat to when Clemenza was schooling Michael on preparing meatballs and sauce during The Godfather.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Jackie Jr. takes his first distinctly noticeable step towards this trope.
    • He thinks simply having Aprile as his last name, and having been the scion of legendary Jackie Sr., will be enough to clear the way for Matush to begin dealing drugs again in the club. Mutash learns the hard way that the Aprile name by itself, without anything more, doesn't have anywhere near the pull that Jackie Jr. thinks it does.
    • The scene itself has a Shout-Out to The Godfather. Note how Jackie is adopting Vito Corleone's posture of holding up his right hand, with the second finger raised slightly higher than the other fingers. Small Name, Big Ego indeed.
  • Smug Smiler: A.J. when he learns that he won't face any real consequences for his vandalism. Even Tony tells him to wipe it off his face.
  • Soft Glass: That trophy case must have been made from it, because seconds after it gets shattered, barefoot kids are standing right in front of it.
  • Television Geography:
    • Chris brags to Adriana that her club will become the hottest music scene club since The Stone Pony. The Stone Pony to this day remains a rock music venue that attracts big-name acts and is well known to residents of New Jersey.
    • The Chez Josephine that Jackie Jr. references is an actual restaurant in New York that does have live piano music. Combined with a Shout-Out to Harry Connick Jr. having played there.
  • Trapped by Gambling Debts: The owner of the Lollipop Club, Rocco, is in a gambling debt that forces him to give up the establishment to the Jersey mob. Benny and Furio are on hand to make sure he doesn't try to back out. It will get turned into the Crazy Horse club.
  • Wall Bang Her: Tony and Gloria in the reptile room of the Bronx Zoo.

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