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Pantheon: Philosophy
Philosophy

The House of Philosophy is essentially a massive forum where deities can gather and debate their points of view. The place has a rather Roman feel to it, with a large open plaza littered with Roman-style buildings, fountains, plants, and other elements one would expect in a large, well maintained park. The House is open to any deity, and many are encouraged to come here to resolve their issues with their words rather than their fists. The deities that make their home here, however, spend the majority of their time plumbing the depths and mysteries of life, the universe, and everything.

Aslan, God of Religious Metaphors (King Of Beasts, The Lion, The Lamb)

Sauron, the Enemy, Dark Lord of Mordor (The Eye, the Lord of The Rings, Base Lord of Treachery, Annatar, Lord of Gifts)

Voldemort, God of Snake Metaphors (The Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, He Who Must Not Be Named)
  • Greater God
  • Symbol: The Dark Mark; a skull with a snake for a tongue.
  • Alignment: Neutral Evil
  • Portfolio: Bad Bosses, Those Who Commune With Snakes, Evil Counterparts, Evil Overlords
  • Domain: Chaos, Corruption, Death, Renewal
  • Followers: Jafar (Aladdin) would seem to be, but is more likely living up to his job description and trying to usurp Snake Metaphors for himself, Enchidna
  • Allies: Orochimaru, Medusa, Terumi Yuuki
  • Enemies: Harry Potter, Solid Snake, Indiana Jones
  • Sometimes Voldemort likes to hang around ninjas and go by the name of Orochimaru for giggles. Because of this it is quite uncertain whether the two gods are separate entities, two aspects of each other, or simply constantly impersonating each other.
  • Voldemort seeks to eclipse Sauron's portfolio. Secretly, he knows he hasn't really got a prayer.
  • After Cobra Commander gave offense - or possibly just started using that grating voice of his - Voldemort cast Baleful Polymorph. CC's now in the House of Shape, and longs for a chance to strike back.
  • Got Thulsa Doom out of the way by giving him a philosophy textbook and an Austrian man to monologue at. (Thulsa's working his way through Objectivism.)
  • Was unaware that Solid Snake had infiltrated the House, and was tranquillised for his trouble. Boy, was he angry when he woke up.

Diana of Themiscyra, Goddess of Truth (Wonder Woman)
  • Intermediate Goddess
  • Symbol: Double letter W, or golden eagle
  • Alignment: Lawful Good
  • Portfolio: Living Lie Detectors, Feminism, Action Girls
  • Domains: Truth, War, Good, Nobility
  • Allies: Superman, Batman
  • Opposed by: Stephen Colbert
  • Despite her strength and courage, still has somewhat of a weakness for being tied up. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
  • Justice turns her on. This sometimes leads to awkwardness at the weekly good guy plotting sessions bridge club meetings, but she and the God of Justice are both professionals. It's okay.

Terry Pratchett, God of Trope Identification* (Pterry, Professor Sir Terence David John Pratchett OBE, DLit)

Pacifica Casull, Goddess of Free Will (The Scrapped Princess)

Chii, Goddess of Conscience

Itsuki Koizumi, God of Deep Explanations

Mohinder Suresh, God of Thoughtful Narration

Ayumu Kasuga, Goddess of Spaciness (Osaka)

Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, and Dot Warner, the Trinity of Anarchy

Ralph Wiggum, An Eternal Constant of Non-Sequiturs

Chance The Gardener, God of Being There (Chauncey Gardiner)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: Crest of a lotus flower and a television remote control
  • Alignment: Neutral Good (Tender heart, weak mind)
  • Portfolio: Seemingly Profound Fool (the trope was originally named after him), Ice Cream Koan, Chronic Misinterpretation, Twist Ending, Mysterious Past, Parody Sue
  • Domain: Philosophy, Nature
  • Followers: Bob, Forrest Gump, E.T., Edward Scissorhands, WALL-E and EVE. (Chance himself has a [human] companion named Eve, making fellow deities wonder if that means anything...)
  • He means nothing more than what he says, but for some reason, no one ever catches the true meaning of his words. Yet what they interpret him as saying makes them happy, and he himself is forever content. This gentle fellow caught the attention of the God of Metaphorical Masks, who was fascinated by him upon reading his story. They were so much alike that they merged together into a work of art.
  • A literally simple man, Chance occupies the Pantheon as a balance to the complexities of other gods (who have been known to turn to him for advice), peacefully watching television and tending to the various Pantheons' gardens. He is forever bound to the God of Metaphorical Masks due to their souls merging, but when this was explained to him, he said, "I understand."
  • His ability to be whatever others want/need him to be means he is never at a loss for friends and admirers, both Good and Evil ones. He is incorruptible, in part because he already has everything he wants/needs: a temple to live and be served his meals in, gardens to tend to, and a television to watch. Some argue he should ascend to higher status and gain greater powers; he has said (many times) he would not know how to use them, but again, he keeps getting misinterpreted.

Leeroy Jenkins, The Destroyer Of Philosophies
  • Intermediate God
  • Symbol: A mountain of fried chickens
  • Alignment: Chaotic Stupid
  • Portfolio: Plan-ruining Charges, The Berserker, Proclaiming One's Name Before Battle, Battle Cry With Emphasis, Spanner in the Works
  • Domain: War, Battle, Destruction, Madness.
  • Allies: Kamina
  • Opposed by: Everyone (Goddammit, Leeroy, you're just stupid as hell). Except Kamina (even Guy is appalled).
  • In times of war, Leeroy has many times screwed up battle plans by charging headfirst into battle. Lots of deities, especially those of Knowledge, despise him for being so goddamn stupid. But at least he's got chicken.
  • Considers Kamina of the War Pantheon his soul brother, since they share disdain for reasoning and "logic".

Stephen Colbert, God of Truthiness

Leonard L Church, God of Frustrated Resignation (Alpha)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: His rotting corpse
  • Allignment: True Neutral (though he slips into Neutral Good when motivated)
  • Portfolio: Anger, frustrated resignation, being a rotten shot with a sniper rifle, tomato splatted mirrors.
  • Domain: Death, Failure, Undead, Robot, Artificial Intelligence
  • Followers: Michael J. Caboose (Red vs. Blue) much to his everlasting chagrin (though deep down, he really cares for Caboose). The A.I.s of the Freelancer Program.
  • Allies: Primus and his followers, as they assume he's a gay robot.
  • Enemies: The Director of Project Freelancer, Gamma, Sigma, and Omega, for torturing Church and turning him into the person he is now, Charlotte (because she killed Mami early on in their series, she only reminds Church of Sheila), [[Pantheon/Magic Bernkastel]]
  • Opposed by: Sarge, Kamina, the FCC
  • Church ascended after being destroyed by an emp during his fight with the Meta. He isn't thrilled, but he's resigned to the fact it won't be better, won't be worse, and you should just deal with it. This does not stop him from whining.
  • He ascended in his ghost form, since he was outside of his body at the time. Thankfully, he was able to convince Touko Aozaki to make him a new body (which, like his previous ones, has 24-Hour Armor).
  • Graduated at the bottom (or top?) of the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.
  • Doesn't really like Homura Akemi, supposedly because her time ability reminds him of Agent Wyoming. It's ironic and somewhat hypocritical, since Church has been through a stressful Groundhog Day Loop akin to Homura's own (though recent developments have made the authenticity of Church's loop questionable). Maybe he's just jealous of her ability to shoot straight.
    • Homura has been slowly feeding Church the idea that Araya Souren had something to do with Church's loop. Church initially dismissed the idea, but is now starting to believe it...
    • On the other hand, he's a little more sympathetic towards Rika Furude, since both of them have at least one very menacing Enemy Without created by their despair.
  • Dislikes Kyubey, calling him "Gamma and Sigma's weasel love child".
  • Due to his nature as an intangible Artificial Intelligence possessing a robot body, Church has immunity to the effects of Tsukishima's Book of the End, as he technically can't be hit by it. This makes Church the Only Sane Man on more than one level.
  • Is still part of the mortal world in the form of his Living Memory, Epsilon. Alpha-Church, while initially angry that Epsilon pretty much stole his identity, eventually resigned himself to that fact. At least he doesn't have to work for Rooster Teeth as much anymore.
    • And now Epsilon himself has ascended to the Pantheon. Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

Charles zi Britannia, God of Manipulative Social Darwinism (Charles di Britannia, The Emperor, Chuck)

Rau Le Creuset, God of The Price of Men Playing God ( Al Da Flaga II)

Reimu Hakurei, Goddess of Miko (Shrine Maiden of Paradise, "Armpit Miko")

Marzipan, Non-Denominational Supreme Deity of Political Correctness (Marzy, Fox's mother)
  • Lesser Goddess (although she's protesting that it should be higher)
  • Symbol: The East Marzistar flag
  • Alignment: Lawful Good according to her, but opinion varies.
  • Followers: None–Marzipan feels that having followers would reinforce the hierarchical, patriarchal, tacky system she fights against.
  • Allies: Homestar Runner (sometimes), Strong Sad, Homsar
  • Enemies: Though she doesn't believe in using the word "hate", Marzipan chonks Strong Bad with the passion of a thousand exploding whales.
  • Portfolio: Parodies of Extreme Leftism, Dirty Hippies WIthout The Dirt, Being The Only Girl, Earth Mother Types
  • Domains: Earth, Growth, Healing

Vivio Takamachi, Goddess of Cloned Messiahs (The Saint King, The Sankt Kaiser, Sankt Regina Olivie)

The Immortal God-Emperor of Grim Necessity
  • Greater God
  • Symbol: Two-headed eagle. Skulls are also common.
  • Alignment: Lawful Neutral
  • Porfolio: Black and Grey Morality, I Did What I Had to Do, Utopia Justifies the Means, Knight Templar, Dark Messiahs
  • Domains: Law, Mankind, Hope, Pride, Chainsaw
  • Allies: Lion El'Jonson, Ibram Gaunt, Ciaphas Cain
  • Enemies: Khorne, Slaanesh, Nurgle, Tzeetch, The Void Dragon, The Deceiver, Kamina
  • Followers: Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Jarrad Marxon
  • Power greatly dependent on the Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism: nearly powerless at the idealistic end, and a force to be reckoned with on the cynical end.
  • More martially inclined than other members of the House of Philosophy, considering a chainsword an effective tool of discussion if dialogue has proven insufficient.
  • Do not be fooled by the God-Emperor's idealistic vision of a galaxy-wide utopia for mankind-he is liable to do anything necessary to see that vision come to pass.
  • Also has a spot in the Main House as the God of Humanity.

Van, God of Men With Multiple Names and Patron Protector of Weddings (Van the Devil Swallowtail Suit, Van of the Dawn (his favorite), Van That Weird Guy Who Helped Out, Van Za Naisu Gai, Pretty Van From The Garbage Dump... gah, too many to list)

Rorschach, God of the Nietzschian Abyss
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: A black inkblot on a white background
  • Alignment: ??
  • Portfolio: Personality-altering trauma, anti-heroes, disturbing speeches, improvised weaponry, being Darker and Edgier, sliding way, way over to the cynical side of the sliding scale, death-seeking, Becoming the Mask, never giving up - not even in the face of Armageddon.
  • Domains: Madness, Justice, Shades of Conflict, Determination, Masks
  • Allies: Nite Owl II... and that's probably it.
  • Enemies: Many, but especially Tyler Durden (his lustful, anarchic, Nietzsche Wannabe antithesis), with whom he has a territorial dispute. Has made a particular effort to ward off members of the House of Love.
  • Lurks on the far side of the Abyss, to which all Nietzsche Wannabes eventually come. He records their reactions in his journal, frequently making disgusted noises, and pushing in the nihilists (a philosophical abyss is, in some ways, better than an elevator shaft). If they want him to talk, he'll talk, even if he doesn't like them. They are his only visitors... aside from Deadpool, who still wants to do that sitcom.
  • Regards Superman with supreme mistrust, and is disgusted by most other costumed heroes. However, while he muttered direly about artists and liberals upon meeting Captain America, he will respond to slurs on the good Captain's name with extreme violence.
  • While he dislikes that The Punisher uses guns instead of his barehands to punish criminals. The two have an uneasy truce due to their fondness of staring into the Abyss. At one point they accidently switched (War) Journals, no one noticed until Deadpool pointed out that their journal monolouge boxes were the wrong colour.
  • Despite repeated request, refuses to join forces with Deadpool.

Tailsteak, God of Metafiction
  • Quasideity
  • Symbol: A one over a zero
  • Alignment: Lawful Good, sometimes thending towards Chaotic
  • Portfolio: Author Avatars, Breaking the Fourth Wall
  • Domains: Thought experiments, Plagiarism, Golems, Creating Worlds, Anthropomophrisation, Goatees
  • Despite his protests, ascended to the Pantheon when it became apparent that creating a world did qualify one for Godhood. Currently occupies himself with probing the realities of fiction.

Tyler Durden, God of the Id
  • Greater God
  • Symbol: A bar of soap
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • Portfolio: Insanity, Anarchy, The Id, Nihilism Therapy Through Fisticuffs
  • Domains: Chaos, Lust, Madness, Wrath
  • Rumored to have been born in a mental institution, sleeps only one hour a night, and to have facial reconstructive surgery every few years. None of this is true, of course.
  • Actually started Fight Clubbing in the Trope Pantheons and loves to watch the insane battles that often happen. Of course, it's rare that he can actually recruit anyone for Project Mayhem.
  • Supplies the explosives for Evangeline and Nanoha's "improved training area under construction".
  • Is probably the only being who matches, if not exceeds, the legendary Nine-Tailed Demon Fox in malice. The two currently hold a grudging respect for each other, but time will tell if the Kyuubi actually does join Project Mayhem.
  • Teaches several members of the Pantheon how to make soap in his spare time.

CM Punk, God of Straight Edge (The Voice of the Voiceless, The Straight Edge Savior, The Second City Saint)
  • Theme Song: Cult of Personality
  • Intermediate God
  • Symbol: A bandaged arm with an X drawn across the back of the hand grabbing a lightning bolt, or a red six-pointed star.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
  • Portfolio: Straight Edgers (especially fundamentalist ones), those who love competition, Pipe Bombs
  • Domain: Liberation, Healing, Weather, Competition
  • Followers: Smarks, Recovering addicts, Straight-edgers, The City of Chicago
  • Allies: Colt Cabana
  • Enemies: Snowflame, drinkers, drug addicts, smokers and "suits", The Undertaker
  • Seeks to replace one of the many wrestling gods, preferably Austin, he's a noted drinker, which makes Punk better than him!
  • Also takes issue with Batman's claim that "Punk is nothing but ''death'' and ''crime'' and the ''rage'' of a ''beast''."
  • His only two addictions are fighting and Diet Pepsi. It is STRONGLY adviced not to spill his Diet Pepsi unless you want to have your face caved in by his GTS or have your neck broken by the Anaconda Vice.
  • Has received many letters from members of the House of Love, eagerly requesting his presence. The many rumors surrounding his love life with many female wrestlers has made them quite intrigued to see what he can do.
  • Whenever CM Punk has used a microphone, it is carefully taken care of by the bomb experts of the Pantheon. To say that his mic skills can cause some noise would be a great understatement.
  • In the mortal realms, he is worshipped by three cults: The Straight Edge Society, The New Nexus and The Voiceless. Both of the two first mentioned cults sees him as a divine and demanding king who must be served and obeyed at any cost, but wile the SES belives that pledging your neverending loyalty to Punk, shaving your head and living the Straight Edge life is enough to enter the Pantheon, the New Nexus belives that this path also has to be paved by self-torture. In recent time many followers has left both the SES and the New Nexus in order to join the Voiceless, a group who belives that CM Punk is a divine hero who is fighting for his worshippers as well as the people in the mortal realms who are held back by those who wish to silence them. He is also one of the preferred deities of the We Hate Cena Coalition, as they have anointed him as the most likely candidate to destroy John Cena.
  • Despite being the complete opposite of fellow god John Cena, Punk has admitted that he respects him enough, despite hating the idea that he was once billed as the world's greatest wrestler. In fact, it was due to their epic clash in Money in the Bank 2011 that cemented his seat in the Pantheon...not that he'll ever admit that last part.
  • For the record the "CM" in "CM Punk" can be anything you want it to be.
  • Recently called out the Undertaker at Paul Bearer's tribute event... by interrupting the ceremony and replacing the image of Paul with that of his own.

Dr. Weil, God of Devil/God Complexes and Extreme Monstrosity (Vile, Devil)

Toki, God of Ass-kicking Messiah (Kung-Fu Jesus)

Tomas de Torquemada God of Bastard Humans and Tortures, half of The Duumvirate of Fantastic Racism (Torquemada, Grand Master of Termight, Chief of the Tube Police, the Landlord, the Oy Boy, Heard of the Reapers, Scourge of Alien, First Termite to Bite Back, The One Grannies Fear, Ultimate Human)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: His helmet and words "Be pure! Be vigilant! Behave!" written around it.
  • Alignment: Lawful Evil
  • Portofolio: Hate to anything alien, even the good aliens, building empires on fear and ruling them with iron fist, using chainsword, being able to fight powerful aliens without any supernatural powers, not giving up no matter what, being very charismatic manipulator, being merciless on failure, tortures, reincarnation, Knight Templar, posession, putting himself above his own laws, reminding people of Nazis.
  • Domain: War, Politics, Philosophy, Fear, Hate
  • Allies: Red Skull, The Immortal God-Emperor, Big Brother, Claude Frollo
  • Enemies: Nemesis The Warlock, every single non-human diety in the panteon, all heroic dieties,
  • Followers: Muruta Azrael and Patrick Zala, Jacques de Aldersberg, Colonel Miles Quaritch, Hunters.
  • Ascended after his body was fused with Nemesis' and trapped in another dimension. Would have been sent straight to the Discgraces, but evidence of love he holds for his wife allowed him to enter the house of Philisophy and be put under God-Emperor's command. Redeeming him has become one of house of Love's biggest priorities.
  • Took interest in Muruta Azrael and Patrick Zala - while both naturals and Coordinators are for him better than everything else, he saw a lot of potential in those two and allowed them to get in position of power, making their hate driving forces of conflict, as the winner would be very reliable asset against "deviants". Sadly, because of certain interference, they both end up defeated and he has lost interest with them.
  • Opposes every non-human diety in the panteon and all who try to protect them from him, as well as gods of magic, science, music, literature, art and pretty much anything that deviates from his extremely bigoted worldview.
  • There are rumors about him criticising Emperor for being "too soft on deviants", through one wonders how is that even possible. However, they both admire one-anothers love for chainswords.
  • Was Adolf Hitler in previous life. Things tend to go a little awkward between him and Red Skull.
  • Is rumored to also be a powerful werewolf, though those rumors have never been confirmed.

Nemesis the Warlock, God of Using Lesser Species As pawns, half of The Duumvirate of Fantastic Racism (The One Who Waits At The Edge Of Your Dreams, The Lord Of The Flies, The Holder Of The Sword Sinister, The Shape Of The Things To Come, The Death Bringer, He Who Is These Things And Many More, Khaos)
  • Lesser God
  • Symbol: His head with words "CREDO!" written over it.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Evil pretends to, but really is Chaotic Neutral
  • Portofolio: Anti-Hero, Magnificent Bastard, Manipulative Bastard, The Chessmaster holding back and looking for a challenge, Master of Illusion, making deals and then screwing over those he make them with, while holding to Exact Words, or at least his interpretation of them, plans of many kinds, thinking of humans as no better than thermites.
  • Domain: Magic, Mentalism, Philosophy, Chaos
  • Allies: Xellos, Terumi Yuuki, Aizen.
  • Enemies: Tomas de Torquemada, Immortal God Emperor
  • Followers: A lot of evil Alien races, General Draconis
  • Upon discovering that Torquemada had ascended, Nemesis appealed to the Main House, advocating that his crimes against humanity are so great he deserved the godhood. Despite few gods appealing that humans in his world deserved that, he managed to win and enter the house of Philosophy
  • Only few managed to earn his respect, the others he disregards as pawns he can use however it pleases him.
  • Nemesis and Torquemada are forming Duumvirate of Fantastic Racism by always opposing each other. Nemesis is for Torquemada symbol of everything he hates about aliens, while Torquemada is everything Nemesis hates about humans. Even their physical bodies are fused and locked in eternal battle at the material plane.
  • Nemesis is disliked by many ofther gods, but he is tolerated as the best thing to keep Torquemada in check.
  • There are rumors Nemesis is not as bad as he paints himself to be. Even if they are true, he does everything to disprove them.
  • Shares a mutual dislike with Lord Nemesis, because some confuse them.

Ichigo Kurosaki, God of Fighting Logic with Spirit
  • Symbol: A white skull and a black katana.
  • Alignment: Chaotic Good
  • Portfolio: Getting stabbed, having a whole blown in his chest, turning into a hollow, losing his powers, and toppling ageless governments—anything to protect his True Companions or an innocent.
  • Domains: Combat, Justice, Instinct, Rebelliousness, Martyrdom
  • Allies: Makunochi Ippo, Himura Kenshin, Team Gurren Lagann, Spider-Man.
  • Enemies: Anyone and anything that stands in the way of direct action or that let their intellect get in the way of doing the right thing.
  • He and Spider-Man got along surprisingly well; he was very supporting of Peter's decision to give up his love to save the life of his dying Aunt. He supports Mary Jane's belief that their hearts will always be connected. He and Peter get along to this day (although Ichigo could do without the pranks).
  • Fought Himura Kenshin in a one-on-one duel, but fortunately for Ichigo, they soon realized they were on the same side. (Ichigo was fighting his hardest—already hollowified and Bankaied, and Kenshin hadn't even gotten serious or revealed his succession technique.)
  • Dressed up like Batman for a week after watching The Dark Knight Rises.

Reika Aoki, (Guardian) Goddess of Inner Beauties (Cure Beauty)
  • Lesser Goddess
  • Theme Music: Your Mirror
  • Symbol: A Mirror reflecting a long scroll that reads "The Path"
  • Alignment: Lawful Good
  • Portfolio: Magical Girl Warrior, Beautiful Hearts Inside Humans, Ice Magic, Frozen Blade, Yamato Nadeshiko, Archery And Calmness To Go With It (along with Precure Beauty Blizzard Arrow), The Power of Friendship, Student Council President, Instant Expert, Walking Guidebook
  • Domains: Philosophy, Magic, Heart, Emotion, Combat
  • Allies: The Pretty Cures (especially the Smile ones), Nagisa Misumi & Honoka Tsukishiro, Umi Ryuuzaki, Yuri Tsukikage, Luna Platz, Philemon, Jin Kisaragi, Tsubaki Yayoi, Cygnus Hyoga, Sub-Zero
  • Enemies: The Joker (both the spawn of Pierrot, and the Clown Prince of Crime), Nyarlathotep, Terumi Yuuki, Vega
  • The third of the Pretty Cure to enter the grand halls of the Pantheon. She rose after finding her path to protect the beauties of the human hearts trouncing her Evil Counterpart, to the point that she's appointed as the Guardian Goddess for the inside beauties.
  • Many would ask why she's not in the House of Love instead. Reika gave the reason that, without offense, if what she looks for is the inside, then it's a... 'path of living', so chose here instead.
  • As she represents the beauty of the inside of humans, she impressed Philemon, who represents the goodness of humanity and encourages her to fight on. Of course, that means her path would make her cross path with Nyarlathotep...
  • Is considered a honorary member of the GUAG Robot War Division (although she is part of the Magical Girl Sisterhood), as a backup pilot of certain mechas that have manuals in it. Given a manual, Reika is capable of piloting any mechas (so long as they don't require special non-learnable skills like Newtypes...). Of course that rarely happens because aside of most of the pilots usually staying fit to pilot when needed, Reika admits that her piloting skills would've been too inadequate to give these pilots justice.
  • Was once caught on a rumor about making out with Jin Kisaragi. Even if Reika could see that Jin was hiding a noble heart beneath his extreme jackassery, she denied this rumors and ended up in a scuffle against a very jealous Tsubaki Yayoi. Thankfully, the misunderstanding was cleared off quickly and after finding out they have a lot in common... they also become friends. And of course, after learning about Terumi from her and noticed that he's like Pierrot!Joker, but much worse, Reika swore to oppose him and his trolling methods.
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