WMG / Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged

The "Don't Fuck Up" thing will have a Cerebus Retcon

After Sephiroth does the sled thing.

Cloud: "Guys... I... I fucked up."

• It actually happens sooner than that at North Corel.
  Barret: ...I f*cked up.

During the stay at Kalm...

Cloud will tell the group about his past with Sephiroth. And in a major contrast from the original game, Tifa will constantly point out the holes she finds in Cloud's story, (such as the fact he wasn't even in Nibelheim when it was destroyed) much to his dismay.

• Alternatively, considering how strained their relationship is after Tifa's abuse and Cloud's rant, Tifa pointing out the holes in Cloud's story will just make them accuse each other of gaslighting.
  • Jossed for the most part. The story is played straight with a couple of deliberate embellishments to mock Tifa and even Aerith making point at how stupid Sephiroth is for thinking he's a Cetra. Also, Tifa only subtly (if still pointedly) hints at the inconsistencies in Cloud's story.

During the Cloud's Memory Scene...

Tifa will alter Cloud's memory into turn him into the Emo Cloud that Everyone loves so much.

• Jossed. Seems like Cloud went back to normal after the Lifestream.

The death of Aerith will not happen

Considering there's a mod for the PC version that preserves Aerith after her death, it would be a very interesting twist to have her NOT killed off than having her killed off in the original game.

• Going by the Final Fantasy 7 Fanwank Podcast on Youtube, it's Jossed.
• And as of Episode 25, Jossed heartbreakingly.

Aerith's last words will be 'All is forgiven' to Cloud.

Most likely given as a response to Cloud telling her he's sorry for a. not being able to save her or b. almost killing her himself because of Sephiroth's manipulations. And it'll be played straight.

• Confirmed. That is in fact the last thing she says just before Sephiroth kills her.

Sephiroth will be based on Zarbon from DBZ Abridged.

Given how serious his debut via flashback is, this is Jossed.

Sephiroth will be voiced by a Celebrity Voice Actor like with Sarah or Kira.

Jossed. He's voiced by a relatively obscure abridged VA named Ovarku.

Sephiroth will be The Comically Serious.

Acting serious even in humorous situations.

• Confirmed.

Vincent will be based on Abridged Alucard.

A show created by Team Four Star, vampire-like appearance, red cloak, fights with a pistol. All we need is the snarky personality and the voice of Takahata 101, and he would be the perfect Expy for Alucard.

• Takahata is confirmed for his voice actor, at least.
• Confirmed. In the trailer for Season 2, Vincent has an identical voice to Alucard. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Vincent was Alucard.
• Given the lack of any actual appearance from Vincent barring one line, it seems a bit early to be calling this one "Confirmed". If anything it's only just Semi-Confirmed.
• Semi-Confirmed to Jossed. The introduction was essentially Alucard, but switched to a different person after coughing. He is voiced by Faulerro.

Yuffie will be portrayed as a materia hoarder, a kleptomaniac Genki Girl, or both, and might constantly spout gibberish that sounds vaguely Japanese and/or Naruto references.

Because why not?

• Jossed. She doesn't act like she's a Naruto OC, but as for the "kleptomaniac Genki Girl" bit? Someone give this guy a phone, because he f**king CALLED IT.
  • Well, it was her personality in the game, so it makes sense. They played up the Kleptomaniac part of it, though, to the point she wants to rifle through Cloud and Tifa's pockets when they're lying there insensate after their dip in the Lifestream.

Aerith's death will be played completely straight with no laughs.

If anything, it'll be even worse than the actual game.

• If only because of her unfailingly-sweet demeanor and Cloud Cuckoo Lander personality.
• Heartbreakingly confirmed.

Tifa's Jerkass tendencies are forced.

Whilst it was clear that she was manipulative as a child, Tifa is currently playing up her jerkiness to avoid confronting her own traumatic memories caused by her fathers death. She hasn't moved on from the experience and plays up her more immature traits and jerkish traits in an attempt to mask her own grief whilst simultaneously trying to keep Cloud (Who has his own problems right now) in check.It's not that She doesn't care about the others, but showing that kindness would also force her to acknowledge her own problems.

• If that's the case, then the rant at the end of episode 10 would really come off Harsher in Hindsight.
  • Cloud's memory of the event might only be as fresh as his psychotic fit during the second bombing run (Ep 3) so that makes it even worse.
• Episode 10 showed her awkwardly trying to amp up the sex jokes when she was staying behind to make sure Cloud was alive rather than actually talk about it, so this may be the case.
  • The Four Dudes line might be her making an arse of the Façade, Setting herself up for Cloud to read her the Riot Act.
• Confirmed by Tifa herself, after some prompting by Aerith, in Episode 22. And again in Episode 29 when a flashback shows Tifa only acted like a Jerkass to Cloud after he commented how bizarrely nice she was being.

Golder Saucer's Dio will be voiced by Antfish.

Because it's him, Dio.

• Jossed. You were expecting Antfish, But it was me, SungWon Cho!!

Red XIII refers to Barret as "Black" because of his hair.

He calls Cloud "The Blond One", Red XIII is called "Red" because of his hair, and Barret having black hair is called "Black" as part of this convention. Barret's comment is because he doesn't realize this convention is in effect.

• As of Episode 10, you done called it.
  Barret: Scout ahead, Red.
  Red XIII: O-kay, Black.
  Barret: You get a pass.
  • Not an example. That's where we first hear him use "Black" to describe Barret, but we don't get his motivations.
    • The TFS podcast makes mention of the idea that Red XIII might be unable to see colours due do being a dog of some description so it might be as obvious as that.

There'll be a Meta Guy or someone who remembers the events of previous playthroughs of FFVII.

We're shown that the person who played the game played it to completion multiple times (around three or more) and that they're starting fresh. Aerith, when talking about who killed the guards, said that it was someone she didn't know, felt like she did. Perhaps there's lingering memories in Aerith.

It had this guesser thinking how cool it'd be if there was someone who would remember the playthroughs.

Heidegger and Scarlet are relatives to Shinra.

Lets face it, the only sane employees in Shinra are Reeve and Rufus. We got a sociopath who cares only about profit and allowed dropping a section of a city on top of another section to kill 5 people (President), a psychopath who assaults anyone who refuses bribes or pisses him off and thought of the "drop a part of the city" idea (Heidegger), an idiot who thinks you can buy space by burning gil and spent 10 billion for that (Palmer), and a bitch who uses people and spent a lot on a cannon (Scarlet). How else could Heidegger and Scarlet get a job with those traits? They could be related to Shinra just like Palmer.

• Jossed, Rufus, Palmer Q. Shinra and the secretary at Shinra HQ are the only ones related to President Shinra. Scarlet's name was revealed to be Scarlet Jade Quistis.

There will be references to Crisis Core.

Maybe after the flashback with Zack, Cloud will then mention "some pretentious guy in a red jacket who kept quoting a play," but Cloud shrugs him off as unimportant.

Aerith's Cloudcuckoolander thing is forced

Much like how Tifa is, to a certain extent, acting the jerk to Cloud to deal with her own issues, Aerith's obliviousness is an act she puts on to deal with her own stresses (Boyfriend just up and vanishes leaving her hanging for five years, dead mother who she might be hearing all the time depending on how the show will deal with her Cetra heritage, a drug-addicted stepmother who might have press-ganged her into selling drugs, The Turks basically putting her under house arrest) that she ether can't turn off very easily or enjoys screwing with everyone too much, either for fun (Turks) or being a jerk (Tifa), to do so.

• Sort of confirmed. Aerith admits in Episode 23 that she's more aware than she let on and that she had "a lot of things she didn't want to admit".

The Memory Scene will be played (partly) straight

Unlike the aboved mentioned WMGs, Cloud's flashbacks will play out more or less how they did in the game proper. Tifa won't correct him on the inaccuracies because she'll still be reeling from Cloud's spiteful rant and won't speak up once through the whole thing.

• Jossed on Tifa, she snarks a bit on his flashback, but somewhat confirmed.

During a battle, a Shinra troop will march up to Cloud and yell "TRAITOR!".

Because, why not?

In Cloud's head, Tifa will be visited by the Clouds from the other two Final Fantasy VII Abridged series by Sons Of Satire and cloudstrife8

Since cloudstrife8 got Sons Of Satire to cameo in their own series during this very scene, it would make sense for the two to serve as two of the Clouds in Cloud's head.

• Jossed.

TFS' Kingdom Hearts playthrough will play some part in the next season

It could just even set up a joke saying Cloud had a dream of cartoon characters and some weird kid named "Sora Christopher Disney" beating him up, with the cartoon duck being useless in a fight.

Aerith's death will be completely accidental

Sephiroth will descend down in a totally badass manner, only to fall right on Aerith with his blade stabbing her. He then tries to play it off as if he meant to do that. For bonus points, it's revealed that Aerith is alive, but Cloud doesn't realize it and essentially drowns her when he buries her.

• Jossed. It's completely intentional and done largely to traumatize Cloud.

Sephiroth will be portrayed as ultimately being just as screwed up as the main cast.

Albeit much better at hiding his issues. (He did grow up in the labs under Hojo's care, after all.)

After Aerith dies, she will return as a ghost.

In an homage to Ghost Nappa (and the Aeris's ghost glitch), she will haunt Cloud while acting as bubbly as she was during her life. Of course Cloud would be the only one who sees her and everyone else would think he's hallucinating.

Vincent will act like Edward Cullen

So as to differentiate him from Alucard

• Jossed

Vincent is Alucard after the events of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged.

After he was killed by Schroedinger, Alucard's soul jumped dimensions and reincarnated as Vincent.

• Jossed completely. Alucard is Back for the Finale in his home series, and spent the intervening years as a therapist.

Ramirez and Cloud's treatment of him is not accurate to how Zach and Cloud interacted.

Ramirez and how everyone treats him represents Cloud's self loathing about how he didn't get into SOLDIER and his choice to hide his identity until after Sephiroth's rampage and subsequent attack on Tifa.

• Confirmed, Cloud felt like he failed Tifa for not being in SOLDIER and hid his identity, while Zack motioned him to talk to her, implying that they got along.

Zangan did not die in Nibelheim

It wouldn't be the only thing Cloud didn't get right about the Nibelheim incident and given he's the only reason Tifa didn't get turned into a Sephiroth Clone he kinda had to have survived it.

• Jossed. Episode 29 reveals Tifa apparently just got up and walked out of Nibelheim.

Tifa will obliterate the Proud Clod herself.

And for added karma points, knowing who pilots it, she will apply the finishing touches via the Assault Spiral.

• Jossed, the Proud Clod was destroyed by Heidegger pressing the self-destruct button, much to Scarlet's frustration.

At Cosmo Canyon, during Red XIII's quest

Red will insist on Barret accompanying him, because "I can't imagine anyone better to help then my best friend"

Cloud's constant "Tifa the Liar" comments will backfire as hard as Tifa's Blackmail

Season 1 ended with Cloud giving Tifa a giant "The Reason You Suck" Speech and season 2 has her snippily embracing the title. Instead of the sombre reveal that Tifa knew all along Cloud's memories were wrong, Tifa will give him one just as brutal, if not more so, due to the constant sniping and repressed issues.

• She did give a scathing speech because Cloud kept trying to fight the Zolom instead of trying to avoid it, let's see if she still gives another one at the North Crater.
  • As for Northern Crater, Jossed. She tried to calm him down over his memories.

Cloud and Yuffie will bond over their kleptomania

That's how Yuffie will join the party. Cloud will soon regret it when Yuffie steals the party's materia.

• Jossed. She joins the party because Red is still stoned as balls from eating the greens Cloud bought at the Chocobo Ranch and they need a new guide to pick up Sephiroth's trail.
• She did however confirm that she was a kleptomaniac much to the annoyance of Barret.

The bomb Cloud threw away in episode 14 landed on the Gelnika

Which is how it will sink in this continuity.

• Nope. The bomb blew up on the ship after everyone left it.

Rufus knew Cloud was 'Private Thunderhead' in Episode 14

• As of Episode 15, it doesn't look that way...

How Tifa will get Cloud out of his Internal Heroic BSoD

• Tifa will tell Cloud that she was almost executed in a gas chamber and it'll finally give him a chance to tell her that karma's a bitch.
  • Alternatively, Cloud will be pissed that he didn't get to see it.
  • Also alternatively, Cloud will have gotten the chance to see it (after all, it was a broadcasted event) which breaks him out of his existential crisis and will only fake it when Tifa comes back for him.
• Jossed

Tifa and Cid will bond over their colorful use of profanity

• And maybe they'll say the "Goddamn Tea" line in unison.
  • Jossed, although Cloud believes the two would get along upon meeting him exactly for the reason you mentioned. When Tifa does meet him, she just considers Cloud to have picked a terrible role model.

Reno was the one kissing Reeve's date at the falafel stand.

That's how Reno became unlawfully awful.

Everyone will love Cait Sith.

Since he's The Scrappy of the original game, one of the Running Gags about him will be that everyone, including Barret, Tifa, Cid (and even Vincent?), will find him either lovable, sympathetic or endearing to a ridiculous degree, even when he's doing something annoying or suspicious. It seems to be already the case with Cloud (as they discovered that they were Birds of a Feather) and Aerith (because he's a cute cat). Basically, he will be the complete opposite of The Friend Nobody Likes. And it will be the explanation of Reeve's Heel–Face Turn. After being treated so nicely by the people he was supposed to spy, he will actually decide to screw Shinra and help them.

• The first part is Jossed, as Tifa already figured out that he was a spy. Although he's still treated better than in Shinra, so the second part remains a possibility.
  • The second part also gets thrown out the moment he is revealed to be the spy. Nobody shows any trust toward him throughout episode 24, and his reasons for turning against Shinra are more toward being unable to put up with their heartless shenanigans any longer and choosing to stay with the group in hopes of atoning for his crimes and less because they were nice to him.

Four guys at a minimum will attack Cloud at Corel Prison

Except Cloud will actually fight them off, and Cait Sith will record the whole thing so that Cloud can spite Tifa later.

• Jossed.

Tifa either wanted to f*ck Cloud in Nibelheim, or she already did.

Now, why would Tifa find it weird that they "didn't f*ck" other than a Freudian Slip? And why wouldn't Tifa want Cloud to remember that? Either Tifa's lamenting What Could Have Been, or her memory brought up some "private time" they had while Zack and Sephiroth were looking at the Jenova Project.

Tifa and Cloud at least bonded while he was in Nibelheim

And part of why she was such a bitch to him in Season 1 was his inability to remember how close they'd gotten, possibly even the above. After hearing his recollection of events in the Whole Episode Flashback in Episode 11, this also explains why she Took a Level in Kindness - she now knows that he legitimately doesn't remember.

• This is supported by her trying to open up to Cloud in Cosmo Canyon after mentioning how badly she needed to talk to someone after her father's death - odds are that Cloud was that someone, as Zack had gone off to fight Sephiroth.

At one point we'll see Cait Sith's Slots Limit Break... and he'll get the worst result.

Which, to those who know the game, know that it's an instant game over. Since that wouldn't work in the context of the show, it'll either be a dream sequence or an Imagine Spot where Cait Sith's/Reeve's anxiety and low self-esteem manifests as him imagining the worst outcome possible for the people he sees as friends. Mog, however, will be legitimately gleeful and emote strongly for the only time we see in the entire series.

Cloud is going to receive a big "Reason You Suck" Speech before the season is over

Face it, Cloud is becoming a pretty giant asshole this entire season, sooner or later someone is going to really lay into his seemingly never ending case of saying the worst possible thing he can instead of saying something softer or shutting up entirely.

• Alternatively, it'll happen after The Reveal at the Northern Crater. When Tifa confirms that she never saw Cloud at Nibelhiem, he'll dismiss it as her being "Tifa the Liar" again, which makes her snap. Her "Reason You Suck" Speech will be the last thing she says to him before he gets left at the exploding Crater.
  • Confirmed, but downplayed - Barret reads him the riot act after one too many Innocently Insensitive moments.

Tifa will be chosen first to be executed at Junon as an in-universe Take That, Scrappy!

With the information Reeve had gathered, Rufus arranges a poll for who the public wants executed first. And Tifa gets the top vote.

• Jossed, no poll happened, it was a stream that they set up.

The Cosmo Canyon sidequest will be one giant drug trip

Everyone will be high as balls throughout the Cave of the Gi, Red's father Seto had most likely promised to bring in drugs for his son, and there will certainly be jokes related to him now being stoned.

• Mostly averted, the mood of the reveal is respected... to a degree. But no drug jokes are made except for the part where Cosmo Canyon didn't tell Red about Seto's Heroic Sacrifice because they were tripping the hell out in celebration of their victory.

Cid and Palmer will be best friends

In the game, Cid was obsessed with going to space. Here, Palmer is the exact same way. As such, if Cid is still portrayed as having an obsession with going to space, he and Palmer will get along just like how Cloud and Cait Sith got along, right down to Cid entering rage upon being told about the space program being shut down.

• With how excited he was about going to space in The Stinger to season 2, that might be Confirmed.
  • Welp, with the release of episode 21, this theory seems to have officially been jossed. They don't seem to care about one another at all.

Cloud's insensitivity to Zack's parents wasn't just a Lack of Empathy

It seems weird that Cloud would just assume somebody he never even met (or so he thought) was dead. That's because it was actually Zack trying to break the bad news to his parents. As for why Cloud was so casual when he said it, that's because Zack didn't have any control over Cloud's emotions, leading to the awkward delivery. As for why he said that he died like a bitch, maybe Zack felt that a First Class Soldier getting gunned down by low-level Shin-Ra mooks was an undignified way to die. Cloud will try to make Zack feel better about himself by pointing out that he fought a whole army of them, referencing Crisis Core's take on his death, and say that even Sephiroth would have gotten winded by that.

The Remake will be used as a meta-video

In the same way Dragon Ball Z Kai Abridged was for Dragon Ball Z Abridged. Possible jokes and quotes include:

• Either Red XIII, Cait Sith, or Yuffie saying "I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say."
• Cloud dismissing "Don't fuck up" as this show's "God dammit Nappa."
• Cloud immediately accepts Tifa's request to stay with AVALANCHE.
  • Tifa: "Do me a solid and join us."
  Cloud: "Okay."
  Tifa: "That was easy."
  Cloud: "If I said no, you were going to make a prison rape joke that would turn a lot of viewers against us and assume that Team Four Star are just salty Clerith shippers."
  Tifa: "But it was supposed to set up a character arc! Why would the audience think that?"
  Aerith: "I'm going to emphasize how perfect I am for Cloud."
  Tifa: "Oh. That's why."
• The characters will act more like how they do in canon, but not without humor. It'll turn out that the Arbiters of Fate interfered with their characterizations. Sephiroth will show them glimpses of how they act in MA, and he'll tempt Cloud to stay in the reality where he and Tifa are close, he actually gets some degree of respect from his teammates, and Aerith is still alive so far.

Tifa slept with Zack

As in the source game, Cloud hid himself upon entering Nibelheim, entirely out of shame and shyness. Perhaps Tifa had been looking forward to see him again and was seeking someone else to console herself with, or perhaps she was just attracted by an actual SOLDIER visiting town, but either way she had a brief fling with Zack during their time there.

• In support for this:
  • She realized immediately from Cloud's flashback story that he was, subconsciously or otherwise, imprinting himself on Zack. Her mention of later on how it was weird that they "didn't f*ck" was a comment on how this particular bit was left out of his story, despite otherwise telling it from Zack's perspective. Cloud himself was of course completely unaware, and still is, of anything having happened.
    • It is even possible that as Zack was prompting Cloud to bring up the subject of Nibelheim, he himself was really just trying to talk to an ex. Of course Cloud blew it.
  • Later, her bonding with Aerith wasn't just a general bit of empathy and kindness, but a far more personal matter: she too knew Zack, and thus their talk was about her own issues with him as well.
    • It also turns her mention of there being "a bit of Zack inside all of us" into another Double Entendre.
• As the story progresses to disc two, this brief hook-up will be played for both comedy and drama:
  • Within the crater, Sephiroth will use this as a yet another weapon against Cloud, insisting on showing him the scene in question... over and over again.
  • Later still, as Tifa needs to piece his thoughts and memories back together, this brief fling will be discussed, and turned into another - rather more recent - mental hang-up of his.
  • Ultimately, Zack will serve as something of Tifa's equivalent to what Aerith was for Cloud: a part relationship, one that never entirely was as deep to them as they would have liked, and one that continued to haunt them even after the partner's death. Once the rest of the party goes off to find their own reasons to continue the fight, they finally move on from their previous relationships, and losses, and hook up themselves - if it's played for comedy, one or both of them may mention something about settling for the second best.

Each of Vincent's transformations will have a different voice

Whether they are the same voice actor doing different voices or different actors each, the transformations will sound different from how Vincent sounds normally.

• And Chaos will be voiced by Takahata 101, which he will transform into during the final battle with Hojo.
• Jossed

The meeting with Cid will be the occasion to make Shout-Outs to Dragon Ball Z Abridged

Since Cid is obsessed with going into SPACE, he will talk about the things he expect to see in SPACE. Such as a Space Australia, a race of people with tails who grow into giant monkeys during a full moon or that the universe is ruled by a family named after house appliances designed to keep food cold... Of course, everyone else will comment on how dumb this sounds.

• Jossed

Cid's joke name during his introduction

• It'll keep changing to all the other Cids in the franchise before ending with "Highwind."
• Redneck Kain.
  • Both Jossed. It starts off blank with the letters in the naming screen blurred. The cursor is a cigarette and every selection results in a cough.

Clouds date will be with all four options

• He’ll get more and more annoyed about not being allowed to fall asleep as the dates go on.
  • And the reason Cloud and Barret won't do the play is because Cloud had already fucked it up three times before.
• Fuck that shit — this was ultimately confirmed, as Cloud had enough time to chat with everyone in the party! Except Cait Sith, for obvious reasons.

Cid will be nice to Cloud

Since Cid is a Jerkass in canon, the viewer would expect him to be a dick to Cloud like everybody else. When Cloud accidentally makes another insensitive comment (probably regarding his aborted plans to go to space), he'll have an Oh, Crap! reaction, only for Cid to laugh it off as a joke.

• Actually confirmed, hard as that is to believe.

There will be five seasons in total

• Season 3 will cover the rest of Disc 1, Season 4 covers the first half of Disc 2 up to Cloud getting his real memories back, and Season 5 will cover the last half of Disc 2 and Disc 3.

Aerith and Tifa will end up becoming friends...

...Just in time for Aerith's death.

• Confirmed.

The team will fail all the Huge Materia missions

Because Rule of Funny. Alternatively, the ones led by Cid will go astoundingly well, while the ones led by Cloud will go horribly wrong.

• Or, another alternative, the ones led by Cid go wrong while Cloud's actually go well, or in the very least, the Submarine mission. When everybody asks how Cloud was able to pilot a submarine so well, it'll cut to him playing the Submarine mini-game at the Golden Saucer, pointing out that it was the easiest way to farm GP.
• Jossed: The train mission went okay, the underwater mission happened almost entirely offscreen, the rocket had no huge materia (just a mako bomb and a belter of a brick joke) and Fort Condor was ABOUT to go horribly wrong until the blast wave from the phoenix hatching won them the day.

Cait Sith will get a surprise birthday party at Gold Saucer right before he betrays the group

Sometime early in season 3 Cait Sith will be caught acting suspicious again, but he covers it up by saying he's preparing for his birthday. Working as a call-back to the "birthday cake for one recipe" fortune from episode 16, Cloud and the group decide to throw Cait Sith a surprise birthday party at the haunted hotel in Gold Saucer. The narrative will lay it on thick by having the characters tell Cait Sith how valuable he is to the party (ala the Turtle's birthday party from episode 31 of Dragon Ball Z Abridged) and much like Oolong in that episode there will be a party member (possibly Tifa or Barret) who complains that nobody cared about their birthday when it happened. Cloud will also tell Cait Sith how much he means to Cloud as a friend, and Cait Sith will genuinely be moved by the surprise party and Cloud's friendship.

All of this will work to maximize the drama with Cait Sith's actions later on that same night.

• Jossed. There's no birthday party for Reeve, and all his attempts to blackmail himself into the group fail miserably.

Shinra had competitors, but crushed them all.

And bought them out. Rufus Shinra would also state the names of said rival companies which are parodies of other famous evil corporations in fiction like the Umbrella Corporation, Weyland-Yutani, E Corp, Omni Consumer Products, and so on.

Aerith won't die immediately

Instead, she'll be crippled and go unconscious, as in several fan theories, but then Cloud will fuck up big-time and accidentily drown her, leading to a Heroic BSoD on his part. Everyone will give him grief for it, only this time, Cloud gives them one mother of "The Reason You Suck" Speech, even going as far as to attack Tifa and then run off on his own.

• Jossed. She's dead as disco.

Vincent's A Day in the Limelight episode will be the final confrontation with Hojo

So far, Vincent has been something of a Satellite Character (not helped by his lack of development in the original game). Rather than having Vincent's backstory be revealed in the cave where he gets Death Penalty, it'll be when they confront Hojo.

• Sort of Jossed while the hojo encounter definitely involved Vincent more than the other characters they didn't really reveal his backstory at all

The train sequence at North Corel will end in failure.

Cid will be unable to stop the train due to having no experience in operating locomotives and proclaims that they'll crash into North Corel. Much to Barret's horror. After said crash, the townsfolk once again blame Barret for the accident and chase the crew away.

• Partially confirmed that Cid couldn't stop the train normally due to not knowing about locomotives. But with the help of AVALANCHE TIME, they were able to stop it and the townsfolk admitted they f*cked up.

Tifa’s extreme bitchy attitude isn’t only due to trauma and she has always cared about Cloud

In the original canon Tifa found Cloud in Midgar suffering from amnesia, delirium and psychosis due to Zack’s death and Mako poisoning and cared for him until he reached a somewhat stable state with an altered personality. In Machinabridged Tifa did the same but it stressed her out looking after Cloud and made her afraid he would go off the rails if he didn’t repress what happened. Her bitchiness was her keeping him focused on the now and to stop him from wondering off but at the same time she didn’t realise just how far she took it until Cloud lashed out at her the way he did. Tifa’s character development will continue to show her better parts and after they go through Cloud’s subconscious he will realise just how much Tifa has been looking out for him in her own way since season 1 and forgive her.

• Confirmed, it was revealed that Tifa only acted bitchy and constantly diverted his memory because she didn't want him to break down. This aspect of her began to be toned down after the reason you suck speech in episode 10.

Cloud's grief process will be shown in detail throughout the remainder of the series

• Denial: He already displayed this after Aerith got stabbed.
• Anger: On their way to the Northern Crater, he will give his teammates a "Reason You Suck" Speech. He already said what he needed to say to Tifa at Midgar, but he'll lash out at Barrett for his tendency to blame him for everything that goes wrong, Red XIII for his stupidity, Yuffie for her constant yelling (and he'll even admit he only let her in the party because she was annoying Tifa), Cait Sith for getting his hopes up as a friend, Vincent for contributing nothing to the party thus far, and Cid for his constant ramblings.
• Bargaining: He thinks that the White Materia will bring Aerith back and jumps through many hoops to get his hands on it (which will also double as a nod to the various rumors that you could bring her back).
• Sadness: He'll let all of his emotions out to Tifa when they have their moment under the Highwind.
• Acceptance: He'll say goodbye to Aerith after finishing Sephiroth off.
  • So far seems to be jossed. On the Northern Crater, he just asked Barrett to hold on to the Black Materia and asked him to not fuck up.

Vincent and Cloud will have a 'Tifa and Yuffie' moment

In much how Tifa and Yuffie bond over how it feels to have everything taken from them at a young age and acting maliciously to cope, Vincent and Cloud will bond over the helplessness and rage they both felt at watching someone they loved die and blaming themselves for it.

When Cloud is put in a vegetative state by Mako poisoning...

At first, it will be played straight like in the game. But afterwards, he will spout nonsense that comes off as hilarious due to being totally random and being references to other Final Fantasy games.

• Jossed, it's played dead seriously right up to when he and Tifa fall into the lifestream

There will be humorous references to real-life terrorism.

One possible joke is when the party returns to Midgar, there will be a line saying "Sector 7 Was An Inside Job"; an obvious reference to "9/11 Was An Inside Job".

Barret will have a Jerkass Realization during the second visit to Corel

They succeed in retrieving the Big Materia and stop the train from crashing into the town, but the townspeople still belittle Barret, either because they thought Shin-Ra's plan to stop Meteor was going to work, or because they wanted Meteor to end their misery. After one insult too many, Barret finally snaps at the rest of Corel. He brings up that the town was already dirt poor when he made the deal with Shin-Ra, and that even if that weren't the case, he had no way of knowing Shin-Ra was going to burn the place to the ground. However, what really triggers it is him bringing up that the rest of Corel made little objection to the Shin-Ra deal and feels like they're just shifting blame on the easy target to make them feel better about themselves, much like how he tends to belittle Cloud.

• Jossed, they admitted they fucked up and forgive him.

There will be a Take That! towards the DEATH BATTLE! between Tifa and Yang

It'll happen during Tifa's confrontation with Scarlet (a blond named after a color, eh?) in JUNON. She attempts to sneak up on Tifa to perform a Neck Snap, only for Tifa to break her arm. Scarlet will complain, stating Shin-Ra's combat specialists told her that, after extensive research, a neck snap was the easiest way to kill her, but Tifa will point out that she survived armed soldiers and monsters the size of houses, and can lift the latter with ease. She will then claim that their specialists either didn't do enough research on her or they deliberately nerfed her to overhype Scarlet.

• Jossed, Scarlet loudly announces her presence to Tifa and slaps her while calling herself the Baroness. This goes just as well as you expect.

Once Cloud learns the truth about Zack, he'll be the Nail of the series

As in, he'll stay in Cloud's head and they will occasionally bicker with each other.

• Seemingly Jossed, in his last conversation with Cloud, he said that he would tell Aerith hi for him, implying that he was gone for good.

Cloud will go the extra mile on the finishing blow against Sephiroth

Cloud feels so much anger for everything Sephiroth did to him, including killing Aerith just to spite him, he sounds like he could explode at any moment. So with this in mind, he'll take a page from Tifa's gameplay mechanics and use ALL of his Limit Breaks leading up to Omnislash to kill Sephiroth for good, even going so far as to listing everything Sephiroth's done with each attack, finishing off with Omnislash, at last making peace with himself.

"You Say Run" will play during the final battle with Sephiroth

Since Justin Briner voices Cloud, the opportunity is too good to resist.

If TFS ever does a machinabridged version of Final Fantasy VIII.

Here's how each character would be portrayed:

• Squall would be a Batman expy. And there would be jokes involving Paine and/or Gaia.
• Rinoa would be a Cloudcuckoolander who says really strange things that somehow make sense
• Zell would be everything Cloud wanted to be
• Selphie's interest in trains would become an obsession that would define her entire character
• Quistis would be Yandere for Squall
• Irvine would be a McCree expy while using Ashe's weapon.

There will be a reference to Tifa's redesign in the remake

Maybe at one point, she'll consider getting thigh-highs or lament not wearing Modesty Shorts under her skirt in one scene.

• For that matter. Tifa might lament how irritating fighting with her endowments, only for another character to suggest she get a sports bra, which she will seriously consider.

During their Battle in the Center of the Mind in the ending, Cloud will mess up Sephiroth so much that the latter will say something funny.

Part of Cloud's Character Development involves overcoming his many, many issues, including the trauma Sephiroth caused him and all the manipulation he endured at his hands, which Cloud will repay with a furious Omnislash and possibly complemented by a a scathing verbal attack on Sephiroth's character. After the attack ends, Sephiroth will stumble a bit, visibly stunned...and say something utterly ridiculous, showing that Cloud not only overcame his fear of Sephiroth, but broke his ability to spread fear altogether.

Cloud will guest star in a Renegade For Life playthrough of the Final Fantasy VII Remake

.]]And Vegeta will mock Cloud for playing with himself. It will also get meta about Cloud puppetting himself.

When Vincent becomes Chaos, he'll suddenly sound and act like Abridged Alucard

It would be a nice Double Subversion of the tease in his introduction. Considering the way his voice turns deep and demonic every time he mentions Hojo, it's likely actually meeting the man during his boss fight will make him turn into Chaos, who's both very grim and very powerful, and would likely roast Hojo and his "science" so much that he'll be utterly broken by the time Vincent actually starts attacking him.

• Jossed

When Cloud encounters Hojo at the Northern Crater, it will be revealed that during the five years he was experimented on, Hojo raped him on a regular basis.

And this will be completely Played for Drama, and it will be the final nail in the coffin for Cloud allowing Sephiroth to possess him and turn over the Black Materia. Tifa will then undergo a Heroic BSoD of her own because of how she threatened Cloud with Prison Rape at the beginning of the series, and when the party reaches Mideel, Tifa will completely become The Atoner.

• Jossed. The cause of Cloud's possession to give to the Black Materia was from him losing his mind over finding out his memories were fake and that he is a failed clone.

The Fort Condor segment during the Big Materia hunt will be mostly skipped over, and the Corel segment will end with Barret giving a giant "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Corel's citizens while undergoing a Heel Realization.

The Fort Condor segment will serve as a Brick Joke to the "giant pointless bird" remark in Season 2, and in Corel segment, regardless of whether they fail or lose, Barret will have a scorching "The Reason You Suck" Speech directed at everyone in Corel, and halfway through it, will realize how he's been treating Cloud rather unfairly, when he sees the parallels between the attitude Corel has towards Barret and the attitude he has towards Cloud.

• Jossed, Fort Condor and Corel went well.

Abridged Alucard will be revealed as Vincent's alternate personality.

When they meet Lucrecia during Vincent's sidequest, it will serve as a Trigger for Vincent which will cause him to switch to "Alucard", who will spend a few episodes as Alucard in all his Heroic Comedic Sociopath Trolling glory, and will only revert back to his regular personality after Hojo is killed.

Final Fantasy Tactics will be featured in Season 4.

Cloud’s cameo in Final Fantasy Tactics seems to imply he ended up in Ivalice when he fell into the Lifestream. When he falls into the Lifestream in the show he will likewise unexpectedly end up in Ivalice. And when he gets to Ivalice Ramza (and by extension everyone) will speak in a Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness way that will confuse and annoy Cloud.

And Cloud’s later catatonic state will be the result of something happening on his Ivalice and not because of the Lifestream.

Cloud and his inner voice will have an argument at the Northern Crater

When Cloud has the Black Materia at the Northern crater, he will get into an argument with Zack about Handing it over to Sephiroth. A lot of Clouds argument may be over his free will, or doing it simply to spite the "Other Cloud" in his head for his advice (and the earlier moments in the series when he wasn't too helpful whilst Zack screams at him to stop.

• Jossed.

Each of the main party characters who were experimented on by Hojo will be revealed to have at least one Child by Rape

Hojo's main thing is Rape by Proxy breeding, and the three main-party characters who he's held captive for any substantial period of time were all men. If he didn't actually tell them when/if any "experiment" he used them in "succeeded", they might not have known if/when they fathered any kids.

• Denzel will be revealed to exist as Cloud's biological son. Denzel will either be aged down and never shown on-screen (with any future adaptation TFS does of Advent Children taking place ten years after the events of the main series) so he's young enough to be Cloud's kid, or he'll be a one to four year old who looks older. In the latter case, either he went through artificial Rapid Aging thanks to Hojo's experiments, or a short childhood is simply a trait he inherited from his non-human mother.
• Red XIII will have two sons who look like Palette Swap versions of him, in a nod to the original game's plans to give him two clones. Upon learning this Red XIII's Daddy Issues Character Arc will resurface, but by the end of the story he'll decide to move to Cosmo Canyon full-time in order to be a more supportive father- thus explaining why he won't appear much in the spin-off materials.
• Vincent will have five adult children, each one named after a color. At the end of the series, Vincent will set out to track them all down, and in the process will get caught up in another conspiracy and find another Shinra-made artificial army to fight.

Cloud will be welcomed with another "You Fucked Up" when he wakes up from his coma

Cloud will take notice of Meteor and ask how that happened, prompting Barrett to lash out at him again. While Cloud just takes it, Tifa reminds him of the "Four Dudes At A Minimum" rant he gave her and advises him to do that with Barrett. Cloud reminds Barrett who he trusted with the Black Materia, stressed how important it was that it never got close to Sephiroth and that he shouldn't hold on to it, and failed to notice that Sephiroth knocked the other party members out when he ran off. This gets Barrett to lay off of him.

• Jossed

Zack's flashback will be skipped in favor of abridging Crisis Core

They didn't do it after Cloud woke up from his coma, but the series isn't over yet.

The Final Battle against Sephiroth

When Cloud confronts Sephiroth for the final battle, he will use the Running Gag by saying to Sephiroth "You F*cked up" as a Pre-Mortem One-Liner.

• Jossed

How season 5 will play out

Because season 5 would otherwise only have one or two episodes, here are some possible stories before the conclusion:

• The Pagoda sidequest in Wutai.
• An episode dedicated to learning all of the Limit Breaks.
• Zack and Vincent's flashbacks in full detail.
• Fighting the Weapons.
• The Chocobo breeding sidequest in order to obtain the Knights of the Round.
• An episode explaining Rufus' survival in Advent Children.

How Season 5 will open

In addition to the above, there seems to be a hint in Season 4's final two episodes on how Season 5 will open.The final shot of Season 4 before the Save screen is the Highwind about to fly into the water-filled crater near Junon...where Ultimate Weapon is. It will trigger the sidequest, and regardless of whether the chasing mechanic is kept or not, AVALANCHE will notice it heading towards Cosmo Canyon, forcing them to confront it, (somehow) defeat it, and cause it to crash. Before they can do anything else after that, someone from CC calls out to the party to tell them, Red in particular, that Bugenhagen is dying. Turns out there's a reason his sudden cough in Episode 30 at the City of the Ancients was not conspicuous for nothing The scene will then play out more or less as it does in the game: tragically, even with TFS' own personal touch.

Vincent's flashback will show that he was a perfectly normal person back in the day

Much like how Barret's traumatic past with Shinra jaded him and turned him into a short tempered, foul mouthed terrorist, it'll be shown that Vincent's experiences with Lucretia and Hojo, and the subsequent thirty years in a coffin were NOT the best things for his sanity, giving us the Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant we know and fear.

Predictions for a possible Advent Children Abridged

Feel free to contribute:

• Cloud's Wangst period will be deconstructed. When he finds out he has Geostigma, it caused him to reflect on his many Fuck Ups and he'll worry that he'll die a failure. He'll even start to think his victories over Sephiroth were either flukes or because he wasn't as strong as he was hyped up to be. It'll also be close to the second anniversary of Aerith's death, which only adds to his depression.
  • Alternatively, years of being the No-Respect Guy and the Butt-Monkey will make him feel like nobody will miss him after he dies. When Tifa finds this out, she plans a party to make Cloud feel better, but Kadaj's rampage will start just as they arrive.
• Everyone will laugh at Yazoo's name.
• Aerith being an Incorruptible Pure Pureness will be how everyone except the party remembers her. In particular, Cloud will point out the growth she went through before her death while Tifa remembers how jealous Aerith was of her.

Predictions for a possible Dirge of Cerberus Abridged

Feel free to contribute:

• That one Big-Lipped Alligator Moment of Cait Sith moving without Reeve controlling him will be properly explained unlike in canon.
• Whenever he's not plotting his revenge, Hojo will examine all the fetish art on the Internet in his data form.
• Vincent and Yuffie will become an Official Couple after he calls out Lucrecia for all the horrible things she's done.

Predictions for a possible Crisis Core Abridged

Feel free to contribute:

• Cissnei will be the Straight Man to Zack.
• Angeal's frequents shouts of dreams and honor will be his catchphrase.
• Compared to how everyone talks about him in the game, Genesis will be The Friend Nobody Likes.

Predictions for how Cloud and Tifa's scene under the Highwind will go

• Despite reconciling, Tifa will still feel guilt for how harshly she treated Cloud during season one. So, they agree to take a page from Cid and Shera's book. All the viewer will know is that Cloud is going Shoulder Deep.
• Like with Dragon Ball Z Abridged, one of them will have an Immodest Orgasm, either by Cloud casting Meteor Rain or Tifa doing Final Heaven.
• Cloud will prematurely eject (or at least fear that he will due to inexperience), prompting Tifa to take control.
• Cloud will forget to put on a condom. When he realizes this, he and Tifa will shout "We fucked up!"
• It will begin with Tifa bluntly asking Cloud to "Do me." When Cloud asks if she means "...a solid?", she replies "No...well, yes, but not that kind of solid."
• It will simply fade to black and cut to a partially animated scene of Cloud and Tifa basking in the aftergrlow (complete with Modesty Bedsheet) having a quiet, solemn conversation that resolves the last bit of toxicity between them. It will be one of the more serious scenes in the episode, apart from some dry humor.
• All Jossed. The scene is played completely straight and without a hint of sexuality. Well, except for Red being a Moment Killer by asking if they did the deed yet.

Possible Epilogue scene

MAJOR SPOILERS for the Final Fantasy VII Remake so don't click on the spoiler after this unless you've played. After the end credits, there will be The Stinger: Showing the remake version of the intro sequence, with Aerith visibly startled by the "bad trip" she just had and swearing that's the last time she tries some of her mother's "products." However, she's dumbstruck when the few seconds she takes to get out of the alley play out more or less the same as the original, foreshadowing the events of the remake.

Sephiroth's last words will be "I fucked up."

• Jossed

The Distant Finale wasn't.

• Yeah, it says five hundred years, but that's just dog math for like thirty or so. Barret was just down in... whatever happened to Midgar with the others.