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Tropers: Kyle Jacobs
Tall, Dark and Snarky Writer / Artist / GM / Roleplayer / Musician / Graphic Designer / Voice Actor

*Takes a deep breath*

Hi there. If you're reading this, you probably have too much free time. Fortunately for you, so do I. So here's a bit of information about me.

I'm a student who's always had a passion for fiction - books, movies, whatever. I look for works that do something creative and show me something I've never seen before. So, when a girl I was dating told me she was into anime and manga and recommended that I start reading Fullmetal Alchemist and watching Baccano!, I got completely hooked. I've recently taken up a mild interest in tabletop gaming after reading Erfworld - the creativity required to think of the ending to book 1 made me look for a situation in which I'd have to exercise that kind of outside-the-box thinking for myself. These days, my downtime is spent serving as the film critic for my college's paper, playing guitar, writing songs, running a Legend campaign, designing Legend's official character sheet, GM screen, and other visual aids, and dealing with school.

I'm a Serial Tweaker, an Eclectic, and a proud member of PLATTER. I'm currently floating around the Tabletop Games sub forum.

Those of you familiar with the awesomeness that is DOUBLE K may have seen a little video I threw together that Captainosaka was nice enough to feature.

Vandalism!! Whoo!!

     I provide examples of: 

     My characters provide examples of: 

In General:

Altusholt (D&D 4E):

Campaign: The Golden Dragon

  • Anthropomorphic Personification: Of heavy metal, explaining his Ethical Hedonist nature.
  • Author Filibuster: See Berserk Button below
  • Badass Biker: See below.
  • Berserk Button: Don't force your will on people, and don't hurt kids.
    • Also, don't try to tell him that Heavy Metal is based on hate / anger / rage. He shares this one with me, and one particular incident resulted in the following rant:
    "A great man once said, "If Heavy Metal ran the world, there'd be a lot of songs about war and a lot of songs about death, but nobody would actually die. You lost because you thought what we do is about hate. It's not. It's about love - loving people enough to open yourself up to them, loving what you do enough to share it with them, loving yourself enough not to care what anyone else thinks of you for it. Every time I go on stage, I see the audience coming together to share something that makes them happy. I see my band acting as a single unit to do what we love, what we're passionate about. I don't see hate, or violence, or evil. I see joy."
  • Blood Knight: Depends on his mood. He enjoys fighting most of the time, but not enough that he won't prioritize protecting innocents. And if you manage to piss him off...
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Despite the fact that he's got a screw loose, he's an incredibly competent fighter and a damn good musician. Also capable of giving some surprisingly good advice when necessary.
  • Casual Kink
  • Chivalrous Pervert
  • Cool Bike: It's the one from Painkiller's jacket art. If you don't know what that is, then observe.
  • Crazy Awesome: The aforementioned insanity is also what results in him riding such a cool bike and coming up with metal several centuries before its time.
  • Ethical Hedonist: With heavy emphasis on the "Hedonist" part, but he's also quick to get serious and do whatever he can to help someone who needs him. He is, at his core, an entertainer.
  • For Happiness
  • Friend to All Children: Yep.
  • Hell-Bent for Leather: Spikes and all.
  • Instrument of Murder: The Axe of Fate is also a literal axe. That is on fire.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Pretty much his defining trait. Usually an amoral, hedonistic jackass, but if someone's actually suffering he's the first to get serious and unleash the righteous fury. He's also The Medic.
  • The Medic
  • Memetic Sex God: This actually wasn't my idea - we needed a reason for a certain monk to stay with the party, and everyone simultaneously concluded that Alt was good enough in bed that said monk would be willing to stick around.
  • Metal Head: No shit. That said, he does actually play other styles when the situation calls for them.
  • Nightmare Fetishist
  • The Power of Rock
  • Special Snowflake Syndrome: Amazingly, not an intentional victim of this. The conversation that led to his creation went like this:
    Me: What's the one-sentence setting description?
    GM: Medieval Japan, but fantasy version.
    Me: Awww, there goes my heavy metal Tiefling bard idea.
    GM: Actually, I'll let you do that.
    Me: SWEET!
  • Tranquil Fury: Gets like this whenever he's sufficiently pissed off - which is pretty frequent, come to think of it.
  • Wisdom from the Gutter: Any legitimate advice he gives is this, simply because it's coming from him.

Atwiless Habagabar, Lord and Master of the Duchy of Froofibowiway (Self-proclaimed) (Legend System)

Campaign: Legends Of Voronda

SIR RODRICK FENDER (Legend System)

Campaign: The Prisons of Drear

Drej Sinnigen (Legend System)

Campaign: Tower of God

Evan Gordon

Campaign: Troper Changeling: The Lost Chronicle

     Things Mr. Jacobs Is No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG: 
  • If I see signs of an impending boss fight in a tomb, I cannot open the coffins, dismember the skeletons, and shove the individual bones through a closed portcullis.
    • I am not allowed to make choo-choo noises when the GM attempts to dissuade me from doing this.
  • If my character attempts to reason a point, and has a high enough intelligence score that they can reason it well, the point may not be completely stupid.
  • My tail does not give me +5 to acrobatics.
  • Do not allow the party to split. EVER.
    • I really should have learned this lesson after my first ever session left me stranded in a trap-filled room... while everyone else was fighting a boss. The fact that I kept failing my perception and thievery checks led to the following immortal line:
    ITT: We all fight the boss while Kyle plays Nethack.
  • Not allowed to force the party into fighting in a cramped hallway just because I'm trying to keep the session moving.
    • Especially not when they are all level one and are dealing with a level four barbarian. It's worth noting that this would have been balanced in their favor if not for the fact that they were trapped in a hallway.
  • Not allowed to cannibalize NPC names from whatever I have lying on my desk.
  • If the campaign is set in feudal Japan, I am not allowed to play as a Tiefling heavy metal bard whose guitar is also an axe and on fire. Because he's underpowered. Skalds, however, are fine.
  • Said skald does not know the spell "Summon Groupies".
  • Just because I can one-shot half the party does not mean I should take on a boss on my own while everyone else stays back fighting minions. Especially when I'm the squishiest member of the party.
  • Smite Evil cannot be used against abstract concepts.
  • I am not allowed to declare the party's absentminded old wizards lengthy monologues as Evil and smite them.
  • No longer allowed to start singing "With Catlike Tread" any time the party fails horribly at being stealthy.
  • My paladin is not a member of the church of the Most Holy DM.
  • Not allowed to play a character without a solid grasp of the concept of "Around".
  • I am no longer allowed to play an omniglot just because I took "Good With People".
  • "Peasant" is not a separate language and if it was I would not speak it.

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