Funny / Phelous 2018 Episodes

Aladdin (Bevanfield)

• Phelous opens the review in the middle of a blizzard, but subsequently prefers the blizzard over the Dull Surprise performances and Padding of the film.
• When Aladdin awkwardly chuckles, Wabuu chastises him.
  Wabuu: Dude, even I don't think this is funny.
• Three words: Sultan of China.
• Like the last Bevanfield review, Phelous brings in a character from the movie and ends with a similar outcome.
  Phelous: Now I have bland Vizier Rodent here, or whoever he is, to answer a few questions about the production of Bevanfield's Aladdin. Now, bland Vizier, I GOT A SHOTGUN!
  (Cue Phelous cocking it one-handed and shooting Vizier dead)
• Phelous being unable to pay attention to a scene where Aladdin's mother appeals to the sultan because he gets distracted by a bearded extra in the background with a really silly grin on his face.

White Fang (Goodtimes)

• Phelous hopes that the snow from the Bevanfield's Aladdin review is still on the ground. It unfortunately melted away.
• When White Fang falls into a body of water, Old Man makes a cameo! Who gets his neck bitten by White Fang. More than once.
• The entirety of Red Bear renaming himself.
  • At the end, he names himself "Offended Bear" and goes on tumblr, threatening to call White Fang "White Supremacist Fang".
• Phelous treating a character named Weedon Scott as a Memetic Badass.
• Whenever White Fang gets knocked to the ground, Phelous references the game over screens from Grand Theft Auto and Sega Rally, with the latter referencing Clearin from the Big Green DBZ review!
• The Stinger, where Phelous notes that his cat also has white fangs, so he's gonna call him a brat. Thanks to some good timing, the cat looks genuinely offended.

Balto (Dingo)

• Phelous's DVD was labelled "The Brave Husky"... but as he points out, the horrible text arrangement makes it seem like the title is "Brave the Husky".
• Shits Given Interrupting Bear!
  • Plot Destroying Bear!
• Because of Dingo's poor layering of their background, Phelous comments how it looks like the doctor's house is just a small piece of wall.
• Red Bear returns, calling himself "Selfish Bear", and then "Holey Bear".
• Due to Balto having the same voice as the black panther from Lion and the King, Phelous interprets him as a callous jerk obsessed with diamonds who's perfectly fine with letting the children die.
• Similarly, Phelous also interprets the doctor as being more interested in eating than saving the children (and having cannibalistic tendencies), due to an awkward line of dialogue that makes him seem completely indifferent to a young girl's illness:
  Mother: Doc, do you have a moment for my Mary? She's got a fever and complains that her throat aches.
  Doctor: I'll go and have a look at her. Hmmm, by the way... if I'm with you anyway, what's for dinner?
  Phelous (as Doc): Maybe we can cook up your daughter, because she's damn sure not going to survive my rubbish care! Mmmmm, dinner!
  • The gag is continued later in the review, when Phelous notices an extremely crudely drawn picture of a roaring elk on the wall of the doctor's office:
    Phelous: What is with the screaming moose picture? Is that like its last moments before Dr. Eatmore started chowing down on it alive?
  • And finally, the glorious culmination of the Running Gag:
    Matt: You can treat the children?
    Phelous (as Doc): I could, but what's for dinner?
    Phelous (as Wabuu): YOU ARE!
    [cut to Wabuu, Wuschel, Anastasia and several other Dingo characters cooking the doctor over a fire while the "Wah-Wah" Losing Horns play]
• Balto jumps over the gorge the second time... only to fall down just like his rival Komo thanks to Phelous's editing.
• The review ends with Komo (who apparently has been falling the entire time) suddenly landing on Phelous.

Call of the Wild (Good Times)

• Phelous claims that Buck says his most intelligent line at the beginning of the movie, and then shows a clip of him barking.
• The Running Gag of characters exclaiming Why didn't I shoot em!
• When the Child Character; John, is rescued from the Snow, the Narrator claims; "He Was Wet". Cue Old Man appearing to use his Catchphrase... until White Fang appears and he backs down.
• The fact that the white child with zero Native American connections has a Vision Quest moment with a thunderbird which is then never referenced again (and there are no supernatural elements besides this) leaves Phelous completely stunned for a moment.

Our Friend Power 5

• The child protagonist in this film is named Hyuk, so Phelous pronounces it the same way as Goofy's laugh.
• Phelous: (singing to the TMNT theme) Alien Mutant Hopping Vampires! Alien Mutant Hopping Vampires! Alien Mutant Hopping Vampires! This barely resembles... what-we-stole!
  [Later]
  Phelous: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Sadly leaving the discotech... What-is-this?!

Jeepers Creepers 3

• At the beginning of the review, Phelous acknowledges that yes, he does know the monster of the movie actually is called "The Creeper", with "Jeeper Creeper" merely being the title of the movie. He however choses to willingly ignore that fact, as he just loves calling the Creeper with that silly name.
• Phelous constantly referring to the Creeper's truck as the real star of the movie, seeing how it gets more screentime and expansion than the Creeper itself, not to mention its own body count.
• When the Creeper's booby-trapped truck shoots a spear out of its pipe, Phelous has Scorpion's trademark "GET OVER HERE!" played on it.
• "Hey, I'm Jeepers Creepers; some people like to call me the Creeper, though others like to call the director and writer of the film that."
• The female protagonist of the movie having her cat and horse betray her and deliver her location to the Creeper.
  Addison: In the city my mother and I had a cat.
  Phelous!Addison: That cat was an asshole; betrayed us and gave up our location to Jeepers Creepers, apparently she didn't think I was giving her Fancy Feast enough. Luckly I know my horse would never do that to me.
  Phelous!Horse: Right. (pulls out an iPhone) Yeah, Jeepers Creepers? They're in the barn.
• When the Creeper proves ridiculously invincible, Phelous jokes that he must have found the cheat codes and put God Mode on.
• Phelous playing the Tommy Wiseau voiceover over the Creeper's Villainous Breakdown.

Aladdin (Goodtimes)

• The entire Casting Gag that is Teenage Mutant Ninja Aladdin.
  Bully: (in Shredder's voice) Did you really think you could beat a ninja master?!
  (Aladdin tackles him into a nearby puddle of mud)
  Aladdin: (in Leonardo's voice) The thought had crossed my mind!
• After Aladdin gets mostly submerged by the Genie's tears, Old Man appears and asks him what he's just become... only for Aladdin to tell the Genie to get rid of him, resulting in him being sent flying into the distance and becoming A Twinkle in the Sky.
  Old Man: I will make you completely useless next time, Aladdin! Next time!

Aladdin (Dingo Pictures)

• Phelous' brief parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody".
  Phelous: Muddah... just killed a faddah
  Put a bruddah against his head
  pulled the trigger, now he's faddah's bruddah...
  What?
• Aladdin's reaction to meeting the genie of the ring is a disinterested "And, who are you?", leading Phelous to claim that this should be the reaction to all genies. He then plays the bit over a clip of Aladdin meeting the Genie in the Disney version.
• Aladdin hosting his own version of "Bootleg Zones".
• Halloweenie's cameo after a two year absence.
  I can't believe how STUPI- wonderful this movie is!
• The Wabuu Genie at the end telling Phelous that his wishes are stupid.

Hellraiser: Revelations

• After explaining why Doug Bradley refused to play Pinhead in that one because he disliked the script, Phelous starts. The movie opens with two unlikable protagonists discussing in crude terms how to "get their dick wet".
  Phelous: Why didn't Doug Bradley like the script?
  • Then it's revealed these are a guy who is trying to help his sister's boyfriend cheating on her:
  Phelous: Just over the one minute mark in, and you already made me not care in the slightest what happens to these two bozos! Very impressive, movie!
• Since this movie has Pinhead played by a different actor, Phelous interprets it as Other One cosplaying as Pinhead, much to the real Pinhead's annoyance.
• When the sister decides to watch her brother's and boyfriend's video despite her mother refusing:
  Phelous!Sister: Oh, that's why mom didn't want me watching this: it sucks!
• Pinhead in this movie cut the phoneline and steal cars, making Phelous call him "Prankhead":
  Phelous as Pinhead: I'm supposed to love puzzles, not pranks! Worst Pinhead Ever!
• "GONNA CATCH THEM ALL! CENOBITES!"
• Pinhead praises Nico as having a darkness that rivals his own, which as Phelous points out, makes him seem rather lamer:
  Phelous as Revelation Pinhead: That's right, I'm just slightly darker than a broody douche bro!
  Phelous as Doug Bradley's Pinhead: What a shock that I said "no" to this movie.
• Phelous' amusement over this Pinhead's overuse of Little "No".
  Phelous: This Pinhead says "no" more than a special edition Darth Vader!
• The Stinger, which shows Doug Bradley's Pinhead getting more frustrated over his replacement:
  Phelous!Doug Bradley's Pinhead: I went over this with you already: Pinhead loves puzzles!
  Revelation Pinhead: No.
  Phelous!Doug Bradley's Pinhead: ...I hate you so much!

Snow White (Goodtimes)

• When criticizing how fairy tales seem to always make step-parents abusive and villainous, Phelous reveals the original version of Snow-White actually averted this trope, since here the queen actually was her biological mother - only for later version to change her into her stepmother so it'd be more appropriate to children.
  Phelous: 'Cause if it's a STEP-parent trying to kill you, that's a much happier time!
• When the Time Skip shows Snow-White going from petting a cat to reading a book, Phelous inteprets this as her cat turning into a book:
  Phelous!Peasants: SHE'S A WITCH! BURN HER! (Beat) Though the queen is a witch too, so I guess we're kinda for witches here...
• When the narration mentions the queen did not shed a single tear at her husband's death:
  Phelous: Look, buddy, I have no idea what their marriage was like, so I'm not gonna judge.
• The Magic Mirror having a Blue Screen of Death.
  Mirror (written on the screen): :( Your magic mirror on the wall ran into a problem and needs to waste your time. We're just pretending to do something helpful.
  Phelous!Queen: Oh, I knew I should have never installed Magic Mirror ME!
• The joke about the Mirror waiting for Snow-White to become old enough to declare her the fairest of them all.
  "Though if this is like the Disney version, Snow-White is only like 14 at this point, so... yeah, the mirror is still a pedo."
• "DEMON BUNNIES! It's Night of the Lepus 2!"
• "QUEEN WARS! Old Peddlers in Disguise!"
• Phelous pointing out how the Disney version probably did well to have the queen go straight to the poisoned apple rather than stick to the original tale like the Goodtime version did, since having the queen's repeated attempts to kill Snow-White with elaborate cursed items that can be foiled just by removing them makes Snow-White look like an idiot for constantly falling for it and the queen look completely ineffective, since she probably would have succeeded much faster had she just used regular poison.
• After the Queen sticks a poison comb into Snow White's hair, a sped-up version of Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" plays while she faints, then Phelous admits failing to understand how exactly one could poison a comb.
• When the prince describes Snow-White to the queen as beautiful, the Queen assures him that "the reports of her beauty are greatly exaggerated". Phelous chuckles and admits this is Actually Pretty Funny.
• When the Queen suggests to the prince Snow-White probably was eaten by some Beast:
  Goodtimes Beast: Aw man! I'm not taking a fall for this one!
• The Queen's astonishment at finding out that she can't break the Mirror:
  Queen: What sorcery is this?!
  Phelous: It's a magic mirror!
• The review ends with Phelous asking his own mirror on the wall who is the stupidest reviewer of them all. The Mirror turns out to be... Wabuu.
  Mirror!Wabuu: You're sure you want me to answer that?

Beast Wars Series Review

• Phelous making fun of the show being renamed "Beasties" when it aired on YTV, and wondering how it must have felt for the guy who screamed it in the opening sequence when he was asked to scream the two titles differently.
• After detailing Rampage's backstory and the indestructible Spark he inherited from Starscream, Phelous comments that, really, Waspinator really is the one with an indestructible spark, what with his ability to survive being destroyed all the time.
• When Ravage is destroyed, Phelous calls bullcrap, as he points almost everyone in that show was blown to pieces at one point or another before they were declared dead for real.
• When coming to the famous "Code of Hero" episode, which involves the death of Fan Favourite Dinobot through spectacular Heroic Sacrifice and is considered one of the greatest moments of the show, Phelous sarcastically says nobody cares about that one.
• His mention of Inferno's infamous Unexplained Recovery from being vaporized in the season 2 finale:
  Phelous (imitating Inferno): I was disintegrated FOR THE ROYALTYYYYY! Eh, no big deal.
• His making fun of how Megatron clearly had some issues about Dinobot's betrayal, what with cloning him twice, completed with a sketch parodying Dinobot II's betrayal:
  Phelous!Megatron (after casually talking about Rampage's death): Yeah! See how little I care!
  Phelous!Dinobot II: You're a real jerk, Megatron!
  Phelous!Megatron: Yeeeees, I know!
  Phelous!Dinobot II: 'Kay, I'm going to betray you, then!
  Phelous!Megatron: Dinobot betraying me?!! Who could have seen this coming?!!

TMNT: Operation Blue Line

• Phelous pointing out that the picture on the cover looks like Raphael running over Leonardo and Donatello with a train. He assumes Michelangelo's not there because he already got crushed.
• His utter bemusement that a video meant to promote the LA transit system managed to get all four voice actors from the '87 cartoon, when not even the '87 cartoon could have all voice actors for every episode.

Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue

• When mentioning the fact that Slimer was the only Ghostbuster in the special, Phelous wonders how Garfield would react to Coulier!Venkman.
  Coulier!Venkman: As an actor, I have natural talent.
  Lorenzo!Garfield: We're in big trouble, Odie. The show is called "Pet Search", not "Dummy Search"!
• Upon wondering if eating Smurfs was like eating shrooms, Phelous realizes that Gargamel being a desperate junkie explains a lot about him.
  • Phelous then complains about not seeing a team-up of the villains of the various cartoons being brought together, specifically citing Gargamel, Shredder, and Dave Seville lighting up.
• This moment:
  Phelous as Alvin: I'm watching Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!
  Phelous as Simon and Theodore: WHAAAT?! (both of their heads explode)
• Phelous decides to use drugs so he can meet some cartoon characters. It works, but they're all from horrible cartoons he's reviewed in the past.
  • Eventually they end up doing the opposite of what they're supposed to be doing and tell Phelous to do drugs.
  • The best part is Old Man ends up being the most helpful as he reminds the other characters that they're trying to get Phelous to stop doing drugs.
• Phelous' "No" Running Gag being perfect for the cartoon's main song.
  Louie: ♪ There's a million wild and wonderful ways to say NO! ♪
  Phelous: NO. [Beat] I had to, right?
• When Simon calls marijuana an "unlawful substance meant to create artificial highs," Phelous sarcastically asks if this means kids should become thrill junkies to experience natural highs.
  • Which is apparently true considering that one of the "many ways to say no" is to say "I only like natural highs."
  • In addition, Phelous mentions how marijuana won't be "unlawful" in a few months.
  Phelous: It's not unlawful here^note In Canada anymore! Take that Simon! 420 blaze it etcetera etcetera!
• Phelous mentions the irony of this anti-drug and alcohol special with Garfield having the munchies, Alf drinking beer and Michelangelo being the "surfer stoner" turtle.
  • Though, Toby Fair, at the time the special was made, Michelangelo's speech and mannerisms were more associated with "valley dude surfers" than they were with stoners, making this a case of Hilarious in Hindsight.

The Adventures of Young Moby Dick

• The narration describes Moby Dick as "as white as a montain of snow":
  Phelous: Snow-White the Whale!
• "RIP in peace, Moby's father: Richard Dick!"
• Phelous jokes he can't wait for Moby Dick's mother to get killed like Bambi's did. Cue exactly that happening, and him being amazed they really did it.
• The Running Gag of Phelous reminding us Queequeg was a cannibal in the book, thus making the fact they made his best buddy Ishmael a little kid really uncomfortable.
• Both Ahab and Queequeg throws their harpoons at barrels in this movie (the latter to show his skills and the former for... reasons), leading Phelous to deduce this movie is anti-barrel.
• In the same vein, Phelous constantly making puns on Moby Dick's name by taking advantage on the Unfortunate Name.
• When Ahab gets portrayed as The Dreaded to his crew, Phelous asks why they are afraid and what he's even gonna do that makes him so scary. Cue Ahab starting his Villain Song with a terrible singing voice.
  Phelous: Oh, I understand now, Ahab truly is the true monster!
• In this version, Moby Dick didn't, in fact, take Ahab's leg- his mother did, and that was an accident (somehow) caused by her dead body falling on his boat after he lethally wounded her. And there were multiple witnesses. This leaves Phelous wondering how the heck Ahab got people to believe his blatantly false story, especially when he gets completely over-the-top about how tall and fearsome Moby Dick is:
  Phelous (after listening to the song): Wait, Moby Dick put out the Sun?! And people are still believing Ahab's story?!
  Phelous (as Ahab): That's why there's no sun in broad day right now!
  Phelous (as Ishmael): Sure, sounds legit!

A Sneak Peek at Pokémon

• Phelous pointing out that Giovanni's fixation on Ash's Pikachu doesn't make much sense by having Meowth suggest he go for a walk in the Viridian Forest and catch a wild Pikachu with good IVs.
• Phelous stating that Pokemon will be a passing trend before spotting an Eevee in Pokémon GO.
• "Shut up, Brock."
• Pointing out the Fridge Logic coming from Ash's aunt Hillary being played by a live actor (who is also Veronica Taylor, who voices both Ash and Delia) before wondering if the Pokemon world was actually akin to the world of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and the reason we don't see Ash's father is that he's a human who married a cartoon.
• Speaking of Aunt Hillary, Phelous also questions how she knows that Ash is a character in a TV show.
  Phelous: What a Tanglead Web We Weave! I can't believe they've never used that one! Unless they did, maybe they did. I don't know.
• That Dude in the Suede being portrayed as Phelous's uncle, despite the latter being older than him.
  • Later on, he gets portrayed as Phelous's cousin, and then his teacher.
• This exchange:
  Suede: You're a real doughnut! You know that?
  Phelous: ...D-does that I mean I'm secretly a riceball?
  Suede: (thinks it over) ...Yes.
• The entire bit regarding Ash's ethnicity before listing off popular theories about Giovanni or Professor Oak being his father and then saying he's just an anime character whose ethnicity is never truly defined.
• Where would a comedic Pokemon video be without jelly donuts? And then there's the caption:
  These are donuts. Do not question the Brock.
• When there's a segment that's just a bunch of characters, floating down the screen in circles, stating facts about Pokemon, Phelous edits himself into the scenes in the same way and stops the flow with his snarky comments.

Pocahontas (Golden Films)

• This is the movie in which Golden Films' obsession with cutesy sidekicks finally spirals right out of control— including a wise eagle with prominent nipples on his huge ripped pecs; the eagle's dopey little chickenhawk apprentice (who persistently pronounces it 'Pokey-hontas'); and a sentient canoe. With randomly appearing/disappearing arms and legs. The better, mind you, to run around hiding in trees because it doesn't want to get into the cold river water. Phelous' mounting annoyance and frustration as the movie dithers around with all these 'hilarious' antics instead of starting the actual plot is a goldmine of rapid-fire funny.
• Phelous' reaction to the annoying chickenhawk apparently shouting "twat" while falling.
  Phelous: You're a twat!
• Phelous referring to John Rolfe as "The Angry Tobacco Nerd".
• In a cutaway gag voiced by Phelous, Wabuu shows up with a cake to give to the white hunters, and promises it doesn't have sneezing powder on it. They figure "what could go wrong?" and try the cake:
  Hunters: [in unison] RAAAAAAID?!
  [both of them explode]
  Wabuu: I told them it wasn't sneezing powder!

Tarzan: Lord of the Rainforest (Dingo Pictures)

• The Running Gag of Phelous claiming the various reused character models from "Lion and the King" are actually the same characters.

Perseus (Dingo Pictures)

• Wabuu singing "Run With Us", the theme to The Raccoons, after the movie's narrator mentions darkness falling.
• "Perseus, the most Yamcha Dingo Character!"
  • ...then a Saibaman latches onto Perseus and explodes.

Super Mario's Frankenstein & Haunted House Halloween

The Christmas Light

• The Running Gag about this movie's version of Santa Claus running a prison.
• "MUST. DESTROY. ALL. HOLIDAYS."
• Phelous notes that the computers in Sled 2 resemble those in Star Trek: The Original Series (complete with a clip of Bad!Kirk from "The Enemy Within" showing up on the screen). This is later followed by Santa and Jennifer experiencing a teleportation accident in the vein of the infamous one from Star Trek: The Motion Picture.
  "What we got back didn't live long...fortunately."
  • The latter gag is followed by Isaac celebrating Santa's death and claiming that Santa's prison is now his.
• The fight between Sled 2 and the evil snowman is compared to Star Fox, complete with appropriate sound effects, profiles of Fox and company, and graphics. Coincidentally, other internet reviewer Saberspark made the same exact comparison in his own review of The Christmas Light that came out around the same time as Phelous's.

The Christmas Brigade

• The jokes about the North Pole being a maximum security prison continue, along with a new running gag in the form of references to the end of Burton's rant ("And you will rue the day that you had your way with me!") from the first movie.
• Phelous' irritation over a shot of the characters facing an empty chair (which is recycled).
• The constant lampshading of the movie's very awkwardly written dialogue peppered in Accidental Innuendoes, not the least of which includes the name of the Big Bad, "Dr. D".
  Phelous: (holding tiny flag to the movie's case) "Dr. D"? Really? That's it! I'm gonna flag this movie for being inappropriate!
• This edit to one scene from the movie:
  Brigade Member: A strange ship has appeared over the Golden Gate Bridge!
  Santa: Johnny, I want you to get off the bridge!
  (Johnny promptly jumps off the bridge into the water)
  Santa: .....Oh well, at least he was just a stupid Red Shirt.
• Phelous' reaction to a line of Dr. D's that sounds like he's hitting on Jennifer.
  Phelous: Ah geez, when does Chris Hansen show up?
• The Mario Mushroom sound effect playing over a clip of Burton returning to normal size.
• At one point, Phelous is shown having turned into a skeleton after one of many of the movie's title cards.
• By the end of the movie, the sheer amount of Padding has driven Phelous to the brink of insanity.
  Phelous: (Extremely close to the camera with a Slasher Smile) END! JUST ENNNNNND!!!