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Here is a list of characters from the Fortalice Pantheon, a colorful group full of divine mercenaries.

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Fortalice Pantheon


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    General 
  • Affably Evil: Morally-ambiguous/varied than anything, but when hired by evil factions they are at their best this, and at their worst they are Faux Affably Evil. Again, it is entirely dependent on whoever is paying for the mercenaries' services, and they had worked with the good guys before. That being said, they still lean closer to this trope push-comes-to-shove due to even the worst members having some sort of standards.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: They may be silly, weird, or even crazy, but make no mistake, they can be very dangerous and competent if they have cause to be and under the right circumstances.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Each member is considered eccentric to varying degrees, with the worst ones being outright insane. They also frequently get into misadventures that is partially caused by their stupidity. However, they're all good at what they do best, which is fighting and causing huge amounts of destruction.
  • Expy: The entire pantheon is based on the RED Team from Team Fortress 2.
  • Immortality: Of both the The Ageless variety and the Resurrective Immortality variety. The former justified in that they are gods and the latter justified by all of them having samples of their DNA stored in Magic Wrench's life-restorer machine.
  • Meaningful Name: A Fortalice is a small fort, fortified house, or outwork of fortification. Their team name is another word for a fortress - 'Team Fortress', if you will.
  • Nigh-Invulnerability: While their divinity already gives them a measure of this, all of them can become even more invulnerable briefly while under the influence of Medikus's "Ubercharge" (which even they all had to have heart transplants to be able to handle).
  • Private Military Contractors: The Fortalice Pantheon are a pantheon of mercenaries among the gods of Equus. Many of their followers and subordinates also happen to be these guys.

    Eephus, the Cheating Athlete 

Classification: Ethereal

Portfolio: Cheating, Poor Sportsmanship, Trickery, Speed

Rank: Godling

"Grass grows, Sunbutt's star shines, birds fly; and bruddah? I don't play fair!"

Eephus (his entry here) is the young Celestial Griffon god of Cheating, Poor Sportsmanship and Trickery, and a rather troublesome individual who had been a source of annoyance for many.

Born from the cheating scandals that plagued sports and competition, he sows cheating and trickery among mortals; especially athletes. Loud, boisterous, and annoying; he is proof even gods can be pests.

    Saighdiúir, the Fervourous Warrior 

Classification: Ethereal

Portfolio: Soldiers, Patriotism, Violence, Weaponry

Rank: Divine (Tier III/Intermediate)(?)

"If your gods wanted you to live, they wouldn't have let me come near you!"

Saighdiúir (his entry here) is the Earthpony god of Soldiers, Patriotism, Violence, and Weaponry, and is one of the more belligerent members of the Fortalice Pantheon.
  • Anthropomorphic Personification: He's an Earthpony god who embodies Soldiers, Patriotism, Violence, and Weaponry.
  • Ax-Crazy: Like his inspiration, he is among the most mentally-unstable members of his group. At best, he's an eccentric idiot, but otherwise he's a complete lunatic.
  • Badass Boast: Throws these left and right as he tears through enemies.
    Saighdiúir: [Surrounded by Exosus' Automatons] I am not trapped in a facility full of robots! YOU ARE ALL TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME!
  • Berserk Button: Do NOT call him a civilian or imply he was never a soldier. Both may be true, but he absolutely denies them. Being tricked into believing Leagail thinks and said that of him nearly drove him to start a war against his best friend.
  • The Berserker: His domain of Violence as well as general Blood Knight tendencies allows him and his followers to become this in battle, with even the scrawniest or most peace-loving person capable of tearing through foes upon receiving a boost from him.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: He's an eccentric nutjob, but in spite of all that he is still a god, a deadly and versatile soldier in battle, someone who could inspire and form whole armies at the drop of a hat with fervour and skill, unpredictable to a fault to deal with, and every now and then come up with ideas and plans that just so happens to be Crazy Enough to Work.
  • Blood Knight: An absolute war fanatic, he would eagerly fight in any conflict as much out of his desire for soldiering as it is for pay or doing his bit for whichever country he happened to be in.
  • Blue-and-Orange Morality: While he has moral standards, due to his eccentricies/lunacy they follow lines of thinking that are often not comprehensible to ordinary minds.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Classified as one by Cultura due to his mental disposition, with his tendency to believe or spout crazy ideas, paranoia over everything that doesn't fit his jingoistic views, jumping to bizarre conclusions rather than normal answers most would reach, confusing the literal with the metaphorical (and vice-versa), among other things.
    • During the 'Golden Gulf Crusade', he somehow thought it was a good idea to fight a swarm of Bugbears thrown against the crusade forces by the Ibexian overlords ruling the region by stripping himself naked, cover himself with Bugbear honey, and go CQC against them. The weirder part is that despite the insanity of the action, he still managed to take on the Bugbears.
    Terran Soldier 1: Sigmare save us... this guy is insane!
    Terran Soldier 2: You mean before or after he decide to strip naked and cover himself in Bugbear honey?
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right: He's a nutjob who is often lacking in common sense, but every now and then Saighdiúir managed to notice or has an idea which just so happened to be right or Crazy Enough to Work.
    • Early in the 'Exosus Conflict', Saighdiúir happened to be the first to notice that due to the Hateful King's obsession with centralized control over and unquestioning obediance from his horde of war automatons and robots, as well as preferring quantity over quality, the machines' cognitive abilities are, for lack of a better term, lacking. Realizing they can be fooled, he, his followers and later his pantheon and their allies would disguise themselves to infiltrate, recon and sabotage Exosus' command centers and auto-factories as well as creating decoy bases and settlements to lure his cybernetic armies away from actual targets of strategic importance or full of civilians. This strategy is credited with helping to save many lives and giving the forces of Equus a little more breathing room to regroup and retaliate against Exosus and his genocidal faction.
    Saighdiúir: If there's one thing we can do that these machines cannot, it is this: we can lie. We will lie to them on the beaches! We will lie to them in the beach parking lot! We may even lie to them on non-beach-related property! About the quality of our munitions! About the strength of our will! We will even lie about lying! That is how deep this rabbit hole goes! But the most important lie we will tell is this: Where our bases and cities are!
  • Et Tu, Brute?: Being a living embodiment of Patriotic Fervor, being betrayed by the very causes or groups he fights for could cause him to have a breakdown that could leave him despondant for weeks.
  • Expy: Of the Soldier from Team Fortress 2.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Despite being a morally-ambiguous jingoistic war-obsessed maniac, he still has standards which he would not sink to, even if his reasoning differs from those of ordinary people.
    • He believes Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil and hates it with a passion, to the point of joining on the side of Abolitionist side during the 'Abolition Wars' against the Slavers side despite the latter paying mercenaries better on average. In his eyes, slavery is all about kidnapping poor bastards from another side of the world, imprisoning them and forcing them to work, which he thinks is abhorrent because those poor bastards should be free - free to fight each other like real soldiers in glorious battle instead of slaving to death for others in some random hellhole against their will.
    • If his rants are any indication, he hates the likes of Clovenists and Autorists with a passion and is eager to fight against them in battle.
  • Foil: To Khakiston of the Tyrannos Pantheon, on account of both being violent idiots with a militaristic fetish. They are presently developing a rivalry against each other.
  • Horrible Housing: His divine domain, like his inspiration, is a shabby windowless apartment size of a palace with rooms for days filled to the brim with collections of weapons and piles of military and weapons magazine.
  • The Immune: His domain of Weaponry grants him and those of his followers who received his boons immunity to his own weapons' damage. This allow him to pull off crazy stunts like blowing himself up with his divinely-enhanced grenades along with his foes as well as do rocket-jumps with his own rocket launchers.
  • I Shall Taunt You: Like his inspiration, he has plenty of taunts and insults
    Saighdiúir: [Common taunt] Maggots!
    Saighdiúir: [During an Equestrian-Griffon War] Horseshoe and hooves beat beaks and talons! Look it up!
  • The Magnificent: Known as "the Fervourous Warrior".
  • Mysterious Past: A lot of details are missing regarding where he came from. He doesn't know many of them himself - he didn't even remember how he ascended due to being delirious at the time.
  • Patriotic Fervor: His domain of Patriotism can inspire this among mortals, and is full of it himself to whatever cause, group or nation he aligned himself to over the ages, jingoistically spouting propaganda and slogans espousing all that is great about them while taunting or insulting those who are outside them. It is also a flaw as his jingoism causes him to start fights over even the smallest real or imagined insult over the causes and groups he's fighting for, as well as being incredibly hard to get him out of said causes and groups even if they turned out to be bad.
  • Rocket Jump: Taking advantage of himself being The Immune to the damage of his own weapons, Like his inspiration, he use his rocket launchers to launch himself great distances or heights by blowing up the ground right under himself. Those of his followers who receive the requisite boons could also do this, with the 'Rocket Jumpers' mercenary outfit being one of the most notable examples.
    Rocket Jumpers Motto: Lift From Below, Death From Above!
  • Rousing Speech: Has a habit of practicing inspiring speeches to his new mortal recruits in front of a collection of his enemies' decapitated heads, which due to his Cloud Cuckoolander disposition starts off already slightly nuts and often veer off-script into even crazier tangents like using 'fight money' to buy a pair of every animal on Equus and beating the crap out of them. Regardless, with his domain of Patriotism he could rouse troops fighting alongside him to a fervour with them in spite of their senselessness.
  • Shotguns Are Just Better: His secondary armaments are Pneumatic-Catapult versions of Second Age pump-action shotguns.
  • Too Dumb to Live: During a visit to the Terran Empire, he misinterpreted an instruction from Steel Barricade to teleport bread with Steel Barricade's experimental teleporter, non-pause, for three whole days. While no one would had guessed what eventually happened, he was still responsible for unintentionally unleashing a giant bread monster within the Terran Imperial Palace.
    Saighdiúir: Question!
    Steel Barricade: What’s your question, Saighdiúir?
    Saighdiúir: I teleported bread.
    Steel Barricade: [Stunned] What.
    Saighdiúir: You told me to.
    Steel Barricade: [Threatening] How… much?
    Saighdiúir: I’ve done nothing but teleport bread for three days.
    Fanged Paw: Where?! [Smashes jar containing monsterfied bread and lifts him by his collar] WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SENDING THEM?!
    [Lights flicker, room rumbles, and a muffled roar resounds...]

    Leagail, the Explosive Cyclops 

Classification: Ethereal

Portfolio: Demolition, Honour, Alcoholism, Swordsmaneship

Rank: Divine (Tier III/Intermediate)(?)

"What makes me a good demo-god? If I were a BAD demo-god, I wouldn’t be sittin' 'ere, discussin' it with ye now, would I?!"

Leagail (his entry here) is the god of Demolition, Honor, Alcoholism, and Swordsmanship, and is the Fortalice Pantheon's demolitions expert.
  • Abusive Parents: His original unnamed adoptive parents were implied by him to be 'not nice people'. Fortunately they died early enough in his life (unintentionally at his hooves to boot) that he doesn't get too scarred over it. His next adoptive parents, from the DeRoot clan are far more loving and respectful of him.
  • The Alcoholic: Leagail, along with the entire DeRoot clan which adopted him, love their alcohol as much as they love work and explosives.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: Described frequently as boisterous, being noisy, energetic, and cheerful in battle.
  • Brave Scot: Hails from the Trottish highlands of the Griffish Isles and is a bomb-throwing sword-wielding alcohol-loving mercenary warrior.
  • The Clan: Leagail is a member of the DeRoot highlander clan, who adopted him when he was young, and whose prominent presence in the local highlands where he was spawned greatly influenced his development as a magical spirit pre-awakening, making them technically his collective 'parents'. His full-name within the clan is Fairheaded Twin DeRoot.
  • Deity of Human Origin: He originated as a spirit, but he ascended from absorbing the PQ of a divinely-enchanted sword he managed to find and pull out from a pedestal.
  • Demolitions Expert: That, or a Mad Bomber, but one of his domains is Demolition, implying he’s good at getting Stuff Blowing Up either way.
  • Expy: Of the Demoman from Team Fortress 2.
  • Happily Adopted: He was adopted at a very early age by an eccentric alcohol-chucking explosive-obsessed workaholic Highlander warrior clan, the DeRoots, at a relatively young age, after his first less loving adoptive parents died in an explosive accident (which was actually caused by a botched attempt by him to kill a monster inhabiting a local Loch). Helps that the clan's activities and presence in the local highland where he was spawned greatly moulded his nature and character as an ethreal spirit prior to his awakening and gaining a physical form.
  • The Magnificent: Known as "the Explosive Cyclops", though he actually isn't a Cyclops.
  • Master Swordsman: One of his domains is swordmaneship, implying he is one himself, most likely wielding a claymore sword with a buckler.

    Pyromani, the Muffled Arsonist 

Classification: ???

Portfolio: ???

Rank: Divine (???)

First mentioned in a Drabble, Pyromani, the Muffled Arsonist is the Fortalice pantheon's god(dess?) of Fire, and among its most enigmatic and dreaded members.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Probably the biggest example out of the entire Pantheon (which is really saying something) as he visualizes the battlefield as a Sugar Bowl and all of his opponents as cherubs.
  • The Dreaded: Even his own teammates are terrified of him.
  • Expy: Of the Pyro from Team Fortress 2.
  • Odd Friendship: With Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich, two of the very few that can actually understand him well enough to translate.
  • The Magnificent: Known as "the Muffled Arsonist".
  • Playing with Fire: He has rather high-level fire magic, and a pyromaniac extraordinaire.

    Tyazhel, the Mighty Hail 

Classification: ???

Portfolio: ???

Rank: Divine (???)

"It is coward-killing time!"

  • BFG: His weapon of choice is the Equestrian counterpart to one of these (with automatic self-reloading capacities and unlimited ammo at that).
  • The Big Guy: Whether he's this or the Brute is entirely dependent on who's footing the bill for the mercenaries. But the fact remains he is still the physically strongest member of the Fortalice Pantheon.
  • Expy: Of the Heavy Weapons Guy from Team Fortress 2.
  • Genius Bruiser: While certainly not as smart as either Medikus or Magic Wrench, he is a lot more intelligent than one would suspect at first glance. For one thing, he has a PhD in literature.
  • The Magnificent: Known as "the Mighty Hail".
  • More Dakka: As the Fortalice god of heavy artillery, he favors this. While certainly competent in shooting accuracy, he considers accuracy secondary to both ammunition quality and ammunition quantity. Justified in that his weapon's ammo is divinely charged and inexhaustible.
  • Super-Strength: He is the Fortalice god of strength, so he definitely has this. In fact, he is noted as being incredibly strong even by the standards of a god.

    Medikus, the Mad Doktor 

Classification: ???

Portfolio: ???

Rank: Divine (???)


  • Affably Evil: Rather polite, cheerful and enthusiastic, but undoubtedly among the more morally abhorrent members of the Fortalice Pantheon due to his predisposition towards twisted medical experimentation on unsuspecting foe and friends.
  • Back-Alley Doctor: He is a Mad Doctor whose insane experiments had costed him his medical licence, so he is technically one of these.
  • Deadly Doctor: He is part of a mercenary pantheon who considers the Hippocratic Code ("Above all else: DO NO HARM") to be more a Hippocratic suggestion, so it is a given.
  • Deity of Human Origin: He was a mortal whose medical achievements (in spite of gross malpractice) eventually earned him godhood.
  • Expy: Of the Medic from Team Fortress 2.
  • Mad Doctor: Hails from a familial lineage of similarly mad doctors in the lands of old Germaney and is this in both profession and character, having lost his medical licence 'practicing medicine', less concerned about healing (except where he has cause to) and more focused on insane and often unnecessary experimentations. He is still brilliant as a healer though with his specialized healing magicks and inventions such that he ascended to godhood.
  • The Magnificent: Known as "the Mad Doktor" (And yes, it's spelt with a K).

    Magic Wrench, the Engineering Marvel 

Classification: ???

Portfolio: ???

Rank: Divine (???)

First mentioned in a Drabble, Magic Wrench is the Fortalice god of Construction and Technology, as well as one of the Apple Clan's very distant relatives on top of that.
  • Affably Evil: The nicest member of the Fortalice Pantheon (with the possible exception of Pyromani off the job) and probably the sanest (even if that isn't saying much) but still quite willing to do morally questionable things that don't go against his standards if the pay is right.
  • Expy: Of the Engineer from Team Fortress 2.
  • Gadgeteer Genius: Even to the point of being smart enough to build a machine that can reverse death itself (assuming the machine has the right DNA stored)
  • More Dakka: Not quite to Tyazhel's level, but the firepower his automated sentries pack are a good indication that he is still fond of this.
  • Precision F-Strike: Swears the least out of the Fortalice Pantheon, which makes the times he DOES drop a strong profanity more meaningful
  • The Smart Guy: Is tied with Medikus in terms of being the Fortalice Pantheon's smartest member.
  • Wrench Whack: In addition to using these to build and upgrade his machines, it is also one of his favored methods of close range combat. He even has a wrench that can turn enemies into golden statues.

    Coriolis, the Sharpshooting Marksbeing 

Classification: ???

Portfolio: ???

Rank: Divine (???)

First mentioned in a Drabble, Coriolis (modern mortal alias Moneyy Inna Cann) is the Fortalice god of Sharpshooting, Professionalism, Hunting and Survival, and the mercenary pantheon's resident friendly(ish) sharpshooter.
  • Amnesiac God: When he reincarnated as a young mortal to take a break from divine life, he did so without his memories of his past life and did not regain them until after he grew up and got a job as a mercenary sniper.
  • Cold Sniper: As a god of professionalism and sharpshooting, when on the job he carries out his hits with impersonality and efficiency. Outside of it however he's quite friendly.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: More amoral than anything on account of being a mercenary god for hire, but he do love his adoptive mortal family from back when he reincarnated himself as an amnesiac young mortal to take a break from divine life.
  • Everyone Has Standards: As both mercenary and god, he carries out his jobs professionally (with a lot of standards), does not go after those he had not paid to kill (except occasionally if they prayed to be killed), and even then his targets usually had it coming.
  • Expy: Of the Sniper from Team Fortress 2.
  • God in Human Form: Once decided to take a break from divine life by reincarnating as a mortal without memories of his divine past. He got himself adopted into a household in the middle of nowhere with a loving adoptive mother and a grouchy and greedy adoptive father, and also an adoptive Diamond Dog brother named Valorous. Even after he regained his memories and powers he still treats them as family, although his adoptive father disapproves of his career choice.
  • Shout-Out: Coriolis once almost headshotted a mortal after they exclaimed "Oh gods, kill me now!" in a moment of exasperation. Fortunately he was stopped by his mortal adoptive Diamond Dog brother Valorous before he could do so.

    Cloaken Dagger, Master of Espionage 

Classification: Ascendant

Portfolio: Knives, Sabotage and Stealth

Rank: Divine (???)

First mentioned in a Drabble, Cloaken Dagger is the Fortalice god of Knives, Sabotage and Stealth, and the mercenary pantheon's resident snobbish spy.
  • Deity of Human Origin: He was once a mortal Prench spy from the Second Age.
  • Devious Daggers: Proficient and favours the use of knives in his spy work. After his ascension one of his domains are knives.
  • EMP: Can launch these to disable machinery and electronics, making him particularly useful during the 'Exosus Conflict'.
  • Expy: Of the Spy from Team Fortress 2.
  • Master of Disguise: Thanks to his ability of Voluntary Shapeshifting. It is said to rival even god-tier Changelings.
  • The Rival: He was a rival to Welther Shaken Maretini/Agent 777 while he was a mortal during the Second Age when they both worked in the spy agencies of the Pranco-Bitish Commonwealth. It's noted to be less actual enemies and more professional competition.

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