Villain Critique Thread (Because Its About Damn Time!)

Addressing your issues point-by-point.

• Honestly, they only infect people IN the group; if the person is unwillingly transformed into an Xe-Class, it might be a humongous thorn in the side to Gaia's Wrath. The majority of the group are willing to sacrifice themselves; only a minority isn't on the list to become Sytes, and those are mostly comms people.
• Although they CAN hunker down and wait until they have enough Xe-classes, they have humongous pressure coming from the Heroes "R" Us; the Monster of the Week attacks are mainly distractions to hamper their progress, whilst also furthering the plans of Gaia's Wrath in a way.
• About the "does the Syte retain parts of their personality" question... well, I'd need to think about it first.
• I'm also planning to give some of the Five Bad Band of Xe-Classes sympathetic backstories and motivations. Save for the Big Bad; he's just a dick.

edited 30th Nov '15 11:26:45 AM by handlere

Seen in the profile picture: the Gundam Flauros Rebake Full City, piloted by McGillis Itsuka, captain of the Turbines

Welcome to the party, Itedatakeshi! As for Lorenz, I find him a really sympathetic character - well, up until the point where he decides to assassinate a brother who's all friendly to him. His motivations are really good and fitting, and he has some Tragic Villain parts, at least to me. He really is a train wreck of a ruler, though, even taking in account his political prowess. It seems to me that with his fear of war, his neighbours could easily bully him into doing whatever they wished him to.

On a slightly unrelated note, I really do admire the "sworn brother" of Leandre (your MC, perhaps?). If I were to deal with Lorenz on a daily basis, then even with all my sympathy for him, I'd probably plunge a knife in his back at some point, if only to save the kingdom.

---

Alright, the last one of my four-bad-band, the Big Bad. I'm not quite sure if his personality gets across all that well. For the quick recap of the world he's in: Steampunk/dieselpunk, there's magitek, there's some low-level magic, there are The Fair Folk, there's nobility and worker class.

• Name: Asmael Cawleth
• Age: 41
• Appearance: Tall and elegant, with pale skin, large grey eyes and mildly curled, golden hair cropped short, Asmael Cawleth is every inch an image of a high-born noble. Thanks to being a genetic throwback to Helfae, he appears to be only now nearing his thirties. He smiles pretty much all the time, whether making quips in polite society or losing touch with reality.
• Personality: While not quite bipolar, he has two sides to it:
  • In public, Asmael's the very model of excellent socialite and responsible chancellor. He keeps himself apart from all political groups of the kingdom's salons, at the same time being on good terms with all of them. He's unerringly loyal to his queen, selfless and somewhat womanizing, although his many flirts with young noblewomen are always tasteful. Sure, sometimes his smiles seem artificial, but it's understandable, considering his job.
  • In private, Cawleth's an unhinged fanatic, a recipient of a revelation, a convert, an enlightened one. He’s fanatically dedicated to his cause and will stop at nothing, be it cold-blooded torture or ritual murder. When given chance to explain his beliefs, he does it with missionary fervour, absolute conviction and passion that would be worrying even if he was talking about charity effort. In his own mind, there's nothing that could stop him and his prophesized mission, and he never doubts that what he does is the only way and right - more even, he embraces it. He doesn't connect, nor he seeks to connect with people and sees them mostly as a world apart from himself (albeit not with any sort of superiority complex), although he can put up a convincing front.
• Abilities:
  • His magical glamour makes people less likely to think badly of him and suspect him of anything.
  • He can make people obey his wishes by speaking to them, although he's usually very subtle about it, only influencing rather than outright ordering. If overused over a long period of time, his Compelling Voice can completely erase every shred of recipient's personality, turning them into Cawleth's puppet.
  • He's very adept at reading people and figuring out how to appeal to them and pull them over to his side with minimal amount of his other powers.
  • He can access hazy visions of the future by taking literal bloodbaths.
  • He commands fairly large number of servants, men-at-arms and spies, made loyal through either money, manipulation or magic.
• Weaknesses: Cawleth's voice can be resisted (though with effort) if one is aware of manipulation being done. Additionally, the same Helfae genes that grant him his powers also make iron - and iron alloys - burn him when in contact with his skin. While his beliefs are very deep, they’re what defines him, so if someone manages to kick them out of balance, it’s likely to result in kicking him out of balance as well.
• Goals: To bring about the end of the world via first a total war between two biggest nations, then festering chaos among the smaller ones until civilization crumbles upon itself.
• Motivations: Cawleth believes himself to be the Destroyer, a being from the Tome of Prophecy (holy book of local faith) who is supposed to bring about the end of the world. He fully embraces his destiny.^note As a small aside, he's not the actual Destroyer. The said tome of prophecy is about as literal as the Book of Revelations, and the Destroyer is more of metaphysical concept/conjugation of events than an actual singular person.
• Role in the story: Big Bad, although at first the MC (and, I hope, the reader) thinks of him as The Rival, though this impression is quickly shattered.
• Backstory: A child of two incredibly wealthy and influential nobles^note Whose distant Helfae ancestry mixed together to create someone who's over 90% Helfae, Cawleth was a child allergic to iron in the Age of Steel. His overly doting parents sheltered him and continued to tell him that pain is little and means only that Asmael's destined to greatest things in life. Asmael, confined in his house, took to reading the Book of Sayings and discovered astonishing amount of similarities between himself and the Destroyer, the final character of it. As his powers started to manifest, he wrapped his parents and house servants around his finger and in-depth reading on Helfae led to him discovering the blood visions. Those things, combined with pure luck that blessed the Cawleths with rising influence and riches, convinced him that he truly was the Destroyer and he set down to work planning out the End. At the age of twenty, he arranged for his parents' deaths to gain official freedom and he consequently played the political field until being appointed the Chancellor to the Queen. From there on, he continued his work, manipulating the palace and events so that the End would come.
• Relevant Tropes:
  • Motive Rant/New Era Speech: Very, very prone of those when given a chance.
  • Affably Evil: In public, he's very friendly and nice, to the extent that one of the heroes actually goes to him for help at first.
  • Blood Magic: He can access visions of the future by drinking and/or bathing in blood. They mostly show him the end of the world and are accompanied by state quite close to ecstasy.
  • Color Motifs: He's got a lot of gold around him
  • Compelling Voice: His main power.
  • Manipulative Bastard: His entire plan basically has him manipulate two countries and then have the other twenty sink with those first two.
  • Breaking Speech: Can do this, too.
  • The Consigliere: To the Queen. He's arranging the events and pulling her strings so that she makes the decisions he wants her to.
  • Evil Chancellor: He's chancellor. He's evil.
  • Fiction 500: He's one of the richest men out there - in fact, his annual income easily thwarts all the capital city's inhabitants' combined^note Provided we don't count the Queen..
  • Visionary Villain: His vision is end of the world, and he'll try to convince you it's the best thing ever. He might even succeed.
  • Bishounen: Kinda, I guess?
  • The End of the World as We Know It: His endgame.
  • The Rival: At first, to MC, Reil, as they're both interested in the same woman and Cawleth is much better womanizer.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Whom he set himself up to be and whom he's set up to be by the story.^note To elaborate (graphomania in action, that's me!), I do hope to get some Dramatic Irony going on here - while one of the Deuteragonists already knows that Cawleth is eeevil, the other still only distrusts him because he's a Green-Eyed Monster, and his friends actually advise him to go to Cawleth to help him find the girl (the first protagonist) who's purposefully Playing The Dead to escape Cawleth. Reil even almost does this, but thankfully for the heroes, stops moments from it and turns out to be Right for the Wrong Reasons.
  • Sanity Slippage: Not in public, but he's getting more and more unhinged as the story goes on.
  • You Can't Thwart Stage One: He's way, way past stage one by the time the heroes figure out something's fishy.

edited 30th Nov '15 1:16:53 PM by Kakai

Rejoice!

What a loony, badass. I like how he believe himself to be The Destroyer . A bit cliche but Tropes Are Tools.

Watch me destroying my country

Since the Tome of Prophecy says that there will be a destroyer, which is suppose to be a series of events, does that mean the world would still end even if Calweth was killed? Or is this a Screw Destiny kind of story?

Anyways, this villain is for another story, sent in our world in the distant future. A mysterious substance named Ichor was discovered before the start of the story, which is capable of bending reality when injected into living beings. A giant meteorite was about to collide with Earth, but was shattered to pieces using a weapon fueled by the Ichor. Mysterious being starts appearing, who emits fields capable of bending reality, thus can't be killed by conventional weapons. The governments around the world starts a organization to defend the people and destroy the monsters, composed of people who injected Ichor into themselves, giving them special abilities. Unbeknownst to the world, a conspiracy is going on behind the scenes by several villainous groups.

Name: Theos

Age: Composed mainly of government officials ranged from people in their 20s to 50s.

Personality: They are a group formed with several world leaders and those working for them. Hostile towards each other and won't work together unless there was a common goal.

Abilities: No special abilities themselves, but being world leaders who each control their respective countries, each of them possess armies armed with Ichor powered weapons and special elites who inserted Ichor into themselves. If they collaborate together, they will have an army in tens of millions.

Weaknesses: While they are unstoppable when they unite their forces, constant infighting and sabotage makes it nearly impossible to unite unless they are faced with a larger threat.

Goals: Find the core of Dimiourgos, destroy the Zois, destroy the Syneiditos.

Motivations: By completing the above, it will be a free-for-all battle to become a reality-warping godlike being and rule the world.

Role: Big bad.

Backstory: Thirty years before the story starts, humans have discovered a mysterious substance that emits a large amount of energy, enough to completely end any power crisis. They then discovered that the substance has several properties that break the law of physics, and is emitting a field that bends the reality around it. They named it Ichor. Harnessing its energy, they achieved new advances in technology . However, unbeknownst to them, this sends a signal to space. 5 years later, scientists discover a giant meteorite heading towards Earth. Initially dismissing it, since it wasn't going to collide with Earth. However, they discover that the meteorite is capable to alter its course and avoid other planets, like it was a living being. The Ichor they possessed also starts glowing as the meteorite comes closer. Aiming to destroy the meteorite, which was almost as large as a continent, they aim to build a giant laser using power from the Ichor to fuel it. As they continue to dig for Ichor, they discover a small sphere. This small sphere reduces the diggers into Ichor. The scientists managed to extract it and contain it in a sealed container, aiming to research it. The sphere suddenly glows brightly, and the scientists and officials that were around it was exposed to visions about its origin. The sphere is the brain of a giant space creature, while the meteor approaching Earth was its body. The creature was blown apart billion of years ago from a supernova, and the sphere was carried of by a meteor which crashed into it before the creature could reform. It reached Primordial Earth, and was split into two halves, one containing its knowledge, the other its conscious. The essence of the two spheres flowed into Earth, creating life. The two spheres couldn't unite and heal due to being buried under the Earth and far away from each other. Digging it out allowed it to send a signal for its body to come to Earth. Once all three parts unite, all life on earth will be absorbed back into the creature. However, if the Syneiditos, which contains the mind of the creature, was destroyed, the process will not happen. If any living being, who contains the essence of the brain managed to merge the body, the Gnosi(knowledge)and himself, he will obtain control over said body, gaining its godlike power. Thus, they deliberately weakened the laser to only shatter the meteor. The pieces of the meteor merge with several beings to form mindless monsters, each aiming to search for the two spheres due to their instinct. Theos aims to find the Syneiditos and destroy it, destroy the monsters to prevent interference. Then find the core and merge it with the sphere they have to become the creature.

edited 30th Nov '15 10:43:19 PM by Ikedatakeshi

, - thanks. And yeah, the world still will end, but it's way, way, way in the future, far enough for the actual Destroyer to have literally no impact on story's events except for MC and Cawleth seeing parts of it in their visions.

Ikedatakeshi, the Theos seems really good and fairly realistic, although I must admit I don't really see everyone involved being so egoistic and hostile. Wouldn't at least some of them be in it to stop the Zois(?)-monsters? Apart from this, seems solid and certainly has enough "punch" to be problematic for the heroes.

Rejoice!

Yeah, some of the countries that is attacked by more Zois are allying themselves to gain assistance from the more powerful country, while some are attempting to destroy Syneiditos to prevent the others from merging with the creature.

So the Book of Sayings didn't specify dates or names, and the current events that happen to coincide with the books are just coincidences. Seems like Cawleth is like one of those people that try to predict the second coming from the Bible. I assume he will go through a villainous breakdown when he finds out.

Anyway, now I just thought of a new villain for the story before.

Name: Gawain Brant Balch

Age: 32

Appearance: He is a tall, lean man with long, straight blonde hair and sharp blue eyes. He often smiles, sometime to be polite, when he is confident or when he is smug. His eyes are like a hawk, sharp, menacing and determined.

Personality: Originally a nice child who was filial and kind, what happened to him permanently warped his personality. While he sometime show signs of his original personality, he is now a cruel, ruthless man who stops at nothing to get his way. He is calculative, manipulative, spiteful and smug to anyone he finds his enemy. He finds most people to be either pieces to use or obstacles to clear. Only his closest friends and generals are treated differently, but he still won't care much about them if they died. In public, he portray himself as a nice guy who is quite a pushover. To his siblings, he lets them think he is a rash, despicable, greedy person with some smarts so that they would think of him as someone who is easily manipulated for their own gains, while not knowing they are being manipulated. Is pretty sensitive whenever his mother is mentioned.

Abilities: One of the ten geniuses I mentioned. He mainly make strategies with really long term goals, so people couldn't guess what his actual motives are. He makes several seemingly simple plans with hidden motives. Is fond of doing Xanatos speed chess and the Failure Gambit. Have control over a army of mindless demonic orcs by working together with a demonic cult leader. Said orcs are formed by throwing human bodies, be it dead or alive, into a giant cauldron filled with the boiling blood of demons. Can also turn into a demon, but doesn't use it.

Weakness: Due to his arrogant personality, he often underestimate his enemy, especially when his plan runs smoothly. This can be exploited by an enemy who knows him well. Due to constant exposure to the demonic miasma, he often lash out aggressively, and loses his cool when his plans fail.

Goals: Take over his father empire and expand it.

Motivations: Revenge for his mother, who died horribly, and hopes to make her proud.

Role: To show the abilities of a member of the ten geniuses, and to be defeated by Cyrus to establish his role as the Big Bad.

Backstory: Born when his father, Jorund, had an affair with a prostitute. Despite being a boy, she didn't kill him, instead taking care of him. His mother was a great parent, despite being a prostitute, thus Gawain was a kind and helpful child. He often bemoans the fact that he couldn't help his mother, and also looks at parades as the nobles rode through the streets on their horses. His mother tells him about how the nobles were a superior class of people who rich and above them, which was why his father abandoned them. He promises his mother that he will succeed in life, and one day ride through the streets like a noble. However, the plague broke out. Gawain was infected and was dying. Having no choice, his mother brought him to the demonic cult to help him. Being a demonic cult, it had a price. After waking up, he was greeted by the sight of his mother being ravaged by demons. Enraged, he transform into his demon form to escape with his mother. His mother was fatally injured due to the demons, and Gawain desperately searched for someone to help her, but was ignored. He begged the nobles to help, but was kicked away, saying they won't help a lowly prostitute.(prostitutes had clothes that differentiated them from other women) Gawain's mother died in his arms, and he had to bury her outside of town by herself. There he met the sage, who would be the teacher of the ten geniuses. He agrees to learn under him to take revenge against the people who ignored their plight, his unknown father who abandoned his mother, and become someone worthy of his mother's sacrifice. His father was the crown prince of the empire, and recently became the emperor. In order to expand his empire, he sought out the ten geniuses, who are famous and vied for by several warlords. After figuring out that Gawain was his son, he offers him a chance to join the royal family as the unknown son of his deceased brother that was separated during war . Pissed that his father won't even acknowledge him as his son, he accepts the offer in order to usurp him. His father, however, knows of his intentions. His own children were spent more time infighting than helping the empire, with most of them being too arrogant to see their own flaws. Aiming to make Gawain his heir, he helps Gawain sabotage his children in the shadows. Gawain aims to worsen the relationship between his sibling so that he can manipulate them into destroying each other. This caused the downfall of the empire when his father and him died, while the remaining princes fight each other in wars to gain the throne.

I always liked villains with a Freudian Excuse, so Gawain seems good for me. However, there are a few questions that I have; why does his siblings consider him as a mere pushover when they know that he's one of the ten geniuses? Are they really that dense? And why can he turn into a demon, yet neglect to use such an important advantage?

The below are the main villains of Vindexi Populi; however, it only shows their powers and capabilities, not exactly their personalities. I'm planning on creating detailed writeups for all of them.

• Name: The Four Horsemen
• Appearance: Varies by host.
• Age: The Horsemen themselves are really, really ,really old. Their hosts, on the other hand, are 15-16 years old
• Personality: The Horsemen are more of a force of nature than actual entities; they possess humans to do their work. The possessed humans retain their personalities; however, they feel the need to start the Apocalypse and gains personality traits corresponding to their names and sins that they embody: Famine is a lazy Big Eater, Conquest lacks empathy, War has a Hair-Trigger Temper, Pestilence is an resentful Yandere, Death is a dour yet prideful personality.
• Abilities: All Horsemen are incorporeal by default and aren’t much of a threat in this form. However, while possessing a human being, an Horseman becomes several times more dangerous.
  • For one, they can plant an magical charge on a person called an Vice Counter. As the name may suggest, they are based on the Seven Deadly Sins (well, more like eight). When the subject has an incredibly strong feeling that corresponds to the sin used on the Vice Counter, they get transformed into the Monster of the Week of the series, called Sinbeasts. Each Sinbeast has a specific frame of actions
  • When the Sinbeast has completed its task (for example, destroyed the source of change for a Sloth Sinbeast), the Horseman who planted it can instantly slay it(and in effect the human transformed into the Sinbeast) to gain a Vice Medal. Each Horseman has two Vice Coins corresponding to them: Famine has Sloth and Gluttony, Pestilence has Lust and Envy, War and Conquest share Greed and Wrath , Death has Despair and Pride.
  • By themselves, those medals do nothing. However, the human hosts gain the ability to summon the Rapture GEARs. Inserting the medals in those GEA Rs enables them to assume their Horsemen forms, which grants them ridiculous physical abilities and specific powers themed after their names.
• Weaknesses: After being sealed, the Horsemen lost their physical hosts and their medals, which severely limits their strength. Even after gaining hosts in the form of Genre Blind Excalibur students, they still can’t generate their medals from thin air, requiring them to create Sinbeasts to harvest the medals from them. Which,again, could only happen when the Sinbeast has finished their task, which, thanks to the Occult Unified Club, is harder than it’s supposed to be.
• Goals: Start Armageddon.
• Motivation: NOBODY KNOWS.
• Role in the story: The Five Bad Band
• '''Backstory:
  • Nobody knows how the Four Horsemen came to be. Religious people insist they were really the Four Horsemen and that we are either living on borrowed time or that they just came far earlier than scheduled. Religious skeptics favor the Giant Space Flea from Nowhere interpretation. New Agers think they are spirits of some stripe.
  • Regardless, to deny their existence is impossible. The Horsemen, upon arriving on Earth in 1346, managed to rampage throughout Europe, leaving ruin and destruction everywhere they go. Kings, desperate to end the threat, unified their kingdoms; it was no use.
  • This lasted until the next year, when a young man by the name of Haskell Delgado declared himself to be the chosen of God, and activated the Radiant GEAR. Within the span of five days, he managed to absolutely annihilate them and seal them into a rock.
  • Sealing them in a rock proved to be only a temporary solution, however. In 2013, they managed to free themselves from their prison and possesses five Excalibur students who were foolish enough to walk into the location that they were based in. Cue the main plot.
• Relevant tropes:
  • Alien Space Bats: Their presence and that of the Radiant GEAR’s entire presence formed an entirely different timeline for the Vindexi Populiverse.
  • The Dreaded: They nearly killed as much people as the Black Dead did before Haskell put a stop to it. Even now, the OHC is scared shitless on the prospect of facing them
  • Drunk with Power: By design; they essentially play up the negative traits of the possessed ones and imbue them with the desire to abuse their powers
  • Five Bad Band:
    • Big Bad: Death
    • The Dragon: Pestilence
    • The Brute: War
    • The Evil Genius: Conquest
    • The Dark Chick: Famine
  • Non-Indicative Name: Zig-zagged. They are named the Four Horsemen….but they actually are composed out of five people...yet two of them (Wrath and Conquest) combine into one Horseman, making the total Horsemen count 4.

edited 3rd Dec '15 11:51:11 AM by handlere

Seen in the profile picture: the Gundam Flauros Rebake Full City, piloted by McGillis Itsuka, captain of the Turbines

You would assume the guy that sealed something so dangerous would also put a seal around the rock to prevent someone from getting close, or throw said rock into the Ocean or something.

As for the underestimating thing, it is due to the fact that nobody actually know the ten geniuses names. They are identified by special bird(for symbolism) somewhere on there bodies. Gawain's father just stripped searched every suspicious person in the area if there were rumors about a guy with a bird tattoo. As for the demon form thing, there are a few reason. One, he utterly detest demons, since they killed his mother. He only make a demonic orc army since they are stronger and more obedient than a regular one. Second, the surge of power usually make the person more aggressive and arrogant, which isn't useful unless it is a dire situation. Third, his mother called him a monster in this form(before recognizing him), thus he is reluctant to transform into something that his mother was afraid of.

I don't think you want an Horseman possessing a shark.

In all seriousness, the rock was already moved to an high-security military facility; the Excalibur students just managed to slip in by sheer luck and connections. Also, Hask isn't magical in THAT way. The Radiant GEAR's capabilities are geared for combat, not other magic stuff.

edited 3rd Dec '15 9:36:09 PM by handlere

Seen in the profile picture: the Gundam Flauros Rebake Full City, piloted by McGillis Itsuka, captain of the Turbines

I want one...

Watch me destroying my country

They can possess animals too? Though these Excalibur students must be really dumb to enter a place that heavily guarded.

I don't think its a good idea to be too reliant on tropes as with the Five Bad Band don't be a slave to it. This is more of a criticism of the the Sinbeasts. Avoid making the fights with them too repetative.

Crappy Dali imitator and producer of generalized bad art http://kamilkovakaramelka.deviantart.com/

Name: The Nocnica

Age: Unknown. Has been around since the stone age.

Personality: Has a huge ego, considers herself to be of superior taste and intellect to all others except her fellow chaos descended demons. On the surface she’s polite even occasionally acts kind. She desires to be liked, love and especially worship. If someone doesn’t bow down to her or is in someway gets on her bad side she’ll reveal her true nature. She has seen generations rush by. She only sees other beings as amusement, tools or obsticles to be eliminated. The only one who she treats more than a thing is Razor due to him sharing her bloodline therefore in her eyes worthy of her care. Often caused conflict to break repetition. She how ever consider getting her hands dirty below her station and has others do the fighting as she watched. Sometime messes with human for lutz once making a dozen people worship water melons, in order to win a bet.

Abilities: As a blud she is able to detect, deepen and feed of fear. Her natural abilities range from being able to cause nightmare and hallucinations in order to get the optimal level of fright to make a meal out of. She isn’t truely telepathic but has hightened senses and knowledge of body language to the point it appears so. Her real form is composed of hairlike threads, each razor sharp, capable of moving faster than a blink. These treads can unwind and strike in separate direction at once. They will worm through the smallest crack, tiniest pores, passing through most solid objects. If these fibers infiltrate a living being they will silently invade the creature’s neurons. If the need arises she will transfere her conciusness into the afflicted’s body making a new avatar for herself. Aquired abilities: is capable of placing weaker demons under an obediance hex, can travel between dimentions. ..

Weaknesses: Arrogance. Overestimates her own capacity. Is bad tempered and impulsive. Her real body can’t manifests in this dimention for too long without distorting the surroundings. Therefore is reliant on avatars to opperate. Despite having pleanty of pontential and dormant avatars she tries to avoid dying as the process is very unpleasant for her. She feels the pain of her avatar and can be incapitated by it. If she makes an avatar out of an animal or being with strong instincts, she maybe overwelmed by them and lose control. Due to her age she must wipe out some of her own memories to form new ones. If left without an avatar she is unable to communicate with any earthbound creature due to her presence generating so much fear within the being that it is unable to think. Also her real body can't manipulate 3D objects without destroying them.

Goals: To become a god. She believes the gods messed up creation and she with Razor will fix it once they've gained the status of gods. Also she want to put humans in their place.

Motivation: Boredom. A desire to force humans to worship her and forgoten natural spirits. Her huge ego and a lust to rebuild the cosmos.

Role in the story: Big Bad until halfway. The cause of Mara’s tranformation and a looming threat over her.

Backstory: Is a direct descendent from beings who emerged out the primordial chaos before the gods tranformed it into the current universe. She is one of the few remaining demons from lines free of the interference of divinity.

Relevant Tropes:

edited 28th Dec '15 2:01:32 PM by manicnightmarepixie

Crappy Dali imitator and producer of generalized bad art http://kamilkovakaramelka.deviantart.com/

So the gods weren't smart enough to go back on this agreement and still force them to be enslaved? You would think they would be smart enough to not make deals with demons and cheat them first.

The gods are aware of this. They only allowed them limited freedom with the knowledge that this pair will screw themselves over long before they become a threat to divinity. The deities are fairly amoral themselves and do not intefere with anything lesser than a serious existential threat. Nocnica keeps more chaotic demons occupied in either servitude or conflict.

As for her small army they're not even a fraction of the needed force to attack the heavens or the underworld. The majority of her underling get slaughtered by a fairly weak abomination, although this was mostly due to Razor's refusal to back off, such beings easily get annihilated by lesser gods.

Also the Blud are a counterbalance to the Parom decendent lines and each is needed to keep the other in check. The amount of damage done to humanity is ignored on grounds that if they're even communing with such creature they are probably fairly corrupt to begin with therefore deserve what's coming for them.

Thank for the critique I haven't really thought out of the nature of the ruling deities yet.

edited 28th Dec '15 1:59:13 PM by manicnightmarepixie

Crappy Dali imitator and producer of generalized bad art http://kamilkovakaramelka.deviantart.com/

This thread’s been on a snooze cruise for a good while, so I think it’s about time to wake it up. I’ll go ahead and post a villain here, but feel free to start getting yours uploaded at your leisure. Can’t have a good thread without good input, right? Then let’s get to it.

Name: Veyron

Theme Song (because why not): “Reign of Terror” by Rhapsody of Fire

Age: 533

Appearance: Stands at 6’6”, with a build that’s in peak physical condition. Pale-skinned, with long and wild black hair; gray-eyed, but has mechanical, red accents/pupils. Dresses in a military-esque uniform, but wears it in a casual style. Has a short cape that covers a segment of her left arm — which is bio-mechanical, but (usually) hidden by her sleeves. Lastly, she has three screws embedded under her left eye.

Personality: Dedicated to causing pain and destruction. Obsessed with asserting her dominance — and her might-makes-right philosophy — she’s a cesspool of hubris and corruption; in a nutshell, she just doesn’t get goodness, much less practices it. Loves to act like she’s in control (and usually she is), but it doesn’t take much for her to fly into a rage, especially when something goes wrong.

Abilities: Veyron, like others in her world, is a Driver — a human with souped-up physical abilities and the power to control the elements (or one of them, at least). However, Veyron is a special case; dubbed a “Model X Driver”, she’s one of the very first of their kind…and absurdly powerful, despite being a progenitor.

With control over darkness, she can toss out corrosive black energy, create whatever constructs she can imagine, or use it to pop out wherever a shadow is cast. That’s in addition to her other attributes; she’s fast, strong, and durable as all hell. She’s strong enough to swing around her trusty BFS with one hand — which she uses to great effect.

Weaknesses: Veyron doesn’t have the type disadvantages of other Drivers; however, a sufficiently-powerful Driver can actually cancel out her shadows (and indeed, any strong-enough Driver can do damage to her). Granted they’re not exactly commonplace, but Veyron has other weaknesses. Due to her circumstances, she’s unable to use her powers as recklessly as she wants for very long, and at the outset she has to meter out her activity unless she wants to get caught while effectively crippled. (Theoretically, it’s possible to survive just by outlasting her.)

But her biggest weakness is that she actually has no idea how to fight. When pitted against a skilled opponent, she can actually get outplayed pretty easily — and since she doesn’t have the cool head needed to fight effectively, it means that she’s plenty beatable. In that sense (and more), she’s actually a very large, very powerful child; selfish, uncooperative, and prone to tantrums, she’s no picture of tranquility.

Motivation: This feeds into her backstory a bit, but in a nutshell? She’s out for revenge — or if not that, then she’s acting out of spite. Centuries ago, she came within a hair’s breadth of destroying the world; luckily, a godlike being (another Model X Driver, and the story’s Big Good) stepped in to stop her. The two “goddesses” — the shadowy Veyron, and the divine Avalon — did battle, and Avalon eventually managed to land the killing blow. Unfortunately, Veyron’s essence managed to survive, and lay dormant until she could piece herself back together. Naturally, she succeeded.

In the time since that great battle, Avalon went on to become a vaunted religious figure (despite her apparent absence), while Veyron wound up forgotten — or rather, conveniently left unknown by the survivors of the goddesses’ battle. So Veyron’s ruination of the earth is as much a display of power and quasi-creation of a new world order as it is a way to stick it to Avalon. The light goddess helped rebuild the world — and now the dark goddess wants to burn it all down.

Role in the story: The Big Bad, albeit with a few caveats. Veyron managed to will a new body into existence, but that process was made easier and faster thanks to the efforts of an insurgent cadre (led by the veteran soldier Dino). As a result, she’s more willing to spare them — and since being just a soul for half a millennium hasn’t exactly kept her fighting fit, she tolerates their presence to ensure her survival.

The cadre’s schemes and her destructive whims feed into one another; thanks to that, they form a partnership and take on the world together. Veyron’s the main villain and Dino’s her number two — more or less — but sometimes it seems as if Dino is taking advantage of Veyron to further his goals. Whether or not Veyron recognizes that (or cares) remains to be seen.

Relevant Tropes:

• Evil Overlord: It’s bad enough that she’s as powerful as she is, but her time six feet under had a nasty side effect: her power corrupted the earth, and gave rise to bio-mechanical nightmare creatures. And guess who has control over all of them?
• Self-Constructed Being: How she managed to revive, even if it took a while. Incidentally…
• And I Must Scream: She was nothing but a mass of thoughts and emotions for centuries, shrouded in darkness and unable to move from her “grave” deep within the bowels of the earth. That probably hasn’t affected her at all.
• Brought Down to Badass: Relative to her status in the past. Once upon a time, Veyron was able to take on what was effectively a goddess while being a goddess herself. Over the course of three days, they had a battle that wiped out civilization, nearly left all life on Earth extinct, shattered continents, and turned the planet into a wasteland that Avalon had to spend years revitalizing. Veyron in the present is still stupidly powerful, but it’s still a hell of a step down from what she was.
• Ambition Is Evil: Frustrated over the fact that she doesn’t have a fraction of the power that she did before — but thanks to Dino and his cadre, she discovers that there might be a way to regain her godhood. So that’s another point on her to-do list.
• Orcus on His Throne: Forced to do this when she overexerts herself, much to her dismay. Dino also recommends that she defaults to this, so their enemies can’t learn her weaknesses or launch any lethal attacks, as well as help her build her strength in general. Veyron doesn’t always oblige.
• The Hedonist: As long as she’s happy, nothing and no one else matters.
• Evil Laugh: Frequently.
• Blood Knight: Tends to get very excited in/by battle — and isn’t afraid to show it.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: She’s usually having the time of her life, but — in stark contrast to main character Davis — flying into a rage is common when she’s not in control of a situation.
• Berserk Button: HATES Avalon and everything to do with her. Those that mention her do so at their own peril. Also, Veyron isn’t her real name — but mention that, and you’ll be dust in an instant.
• Older Than They Look: Her second body starts at the same age that her first left off with.
• Statuesque Stunner: Towers over nearly every other character in the story, and is only overshadowed by a couple. Not surprisingly, she’s happy with the way she looks.
• Amazonian Beauty: Not always obvious thanks to her clothes, but she’s got muscle in spades — and there’s a scientist out there who sees it as part of her charm.
• Lightning Bruiser: Her stats are on such a high tier that she might as well be from an entirely different world. As the story progresses, though, the heroes learn to compensate by growing progressively stronger in their own right, and — more importantly — using their skill and ingenuity to outplay her instead of relying on brute force.
• One-Handed Zweihänder: Swings a massive, serrated-edged sword with no more difficulty than the average whiffle bat. It’s about as unwieldy as you’d expect, but her raw power compensates for it.
• Casting a Shadow: While Veyron doesn’t follow the heroes’ example and use her powers creatively, there are still moments where she uses the darkness in a number of cruel and devastating ways.
• Red Right Hand: Her left arm is bio-mechanical, though typically hidden. When she taps into her power, her arm overflows with energy and burns away her sleeve, as well as temporarily taking on a demonic look. After that, she can dump all of that power into a cataclysmic attack…though it’s one that’ll leave her weakened for a short period.
• Cyborg: Her resurrection turned her into this, albeit with some biological elements (like the creatures she commands). It’s not immediately obvious, but the biggest tell? Her blood is as black as oil.
• Boxing Lessons for Superman: As a skilled Driver in his own right (albeit with electricity instead of darkness), Dino tries to prepare Veyron physically and mentally so she doesn’t have to be a deity to succeed. Not all of the lessons take, though.
• Brains and Brawn: Dino’s no slouch as a fighter, but he plays the strategist and points Veyron towards potential targets. Plus, Veyron’s been out of commission for centuries, so she has plenty to learn about the new world.
• Hidden Depths: She may be blinded by power, hatred, and ambition, but she’s no idiot. She learns fast when she wants to, with a sharp grasp of politics and a quiet appreciation of history and culture.
• Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: It’s bad enough that she’s got no moral compass. But worse yet, she just doesn’t seem to understand that people are capable of goodness. Seeing virtue and altruism play out before her leaves her stymied, and often angered; those kind deeds make her think back to Avalon, after all (and she didn’t understand it back then, either). As such, she terrorizes the landscape in the hopes of breaking its people — but to her shock, forcing them to face the worst eventually brings out the best in them. She learns that the hard way, with a little help from Davis.
• That Man Is Dead: Her real name is Valerie, and it’s what she went by in the past before she became super-empowered. Speaking of…
• Deity of Human Origin: She started off as a normal (albeit smart and sassy) girl, but got into an accident that nearly took her life. Avalon shared power and blood alike with her to save her, but inadvertently helped Valerie become superhuman and beyond. Veyron tends to “conveniently” leave out the origin of her powers, and claims they’re 100% her own as per her A God Am I mindset.

There you go. That should breathe some life into this thread. So you can critique this big baddie if you want, or just use her as an excuse to post your own villains. I’ll be sure to offer input for anyone who makes their own post — if only to atone for the sin of posting such a whopper of a description.

Alas, such is my way. My curse. My cross to bear.

…

GOTTA GO FAST

My Wattpad — A haven for delightful degeneracy

Hey, thanks heaps for bumping the thread. I had something I wanted to post myself, but the thread had just been sitting there so I was kinda too nervous to make the first move.

About Veyron. I love the music you picked for her. Sounds plenty epic and creepy. Seems to fit what you've described well. I really like the idea of her, though I do have a couple questions. If she was more or less forgotten after being defeated by Avalon, then how did Dino and his lot find out about her? Or did they end up helping her come back by accident somehow?

Also, what caused Veyron to turn against Avalon after the goddess helped her? Was it just that she was always that kind of person, or did something happen?

Also, don't worry about long post being long. Mine might be longer.

---

Annd now my go. Erm. Quite a few parts of this character are still tentative. He's adapted from an OC I use in an rp with a friend. So, on top of any other comments you might have, I'd kind of like to know whether this kind of character would work as a main villain at all. Would he be able to stand up as a villain by himself? Also, is the Ambiguously Human thing he and his companions have going on fine or just weird?

Name: Oya. No last name.

Theme Song: None, sorry

Appearance: A tall, thin man. It’s difficult to pin down his age or his race. He is clearly an adult and pretty much anybody anywhere would classify him as “foreign”, but it’s pretty much impossible to be more specific than that. He has reddish hair which is kept in a neat ponytail at all times. He’s most often seen in business attire. He would look horribly out of place in casual clothes. His utterly straight, stiff-as-a-board posture probably has something to do with that. He also looks a little “off”, but you’d be hard-pressed to identify exactly what is wrong with his appearance.

Age: Difficult to say. Certainly much older than he appears. Oya (and the other three of his kind) appear to have been passed down through a single family for generations before being traded back and forth. Where they came from, and when they first came to be, has been lost to time. Oya and his companions seem to have lost track of the years, so asking them their age won’t really help.

Personality: At first, Oya seems to be the perfect assistant. He is well-mannered, resourceful and accommodating. He will never slack off on the job, he will never complain, and he will never, ever disobey a command. No matter what it is. He tends to be calm and stoic, but if the situation requires him to provide entertainment or engaging conversation, he will do that too.

However, none of this is actually his true personality. It’s simply Oya adapting to be whatever he thinks his masters want him to be. Due to various incidents in the past and all-around poor treatment, Oya has become utterly convinced that he must never displease his master, ever, or he’ll be killed. Or maybe he and his charges will spontaneously drop dead. Or the world might possibly end. Not even he really knows anymore. So he totally ignores his own needs and wants (and possibly doesn’t even know what those are these days) in favour of simply doing whatever he’s asked.

His true personality (which only comes out when he is in the company of his three charges and nobody else) is significantly less…personable. In truth Oya is gruff, stuffy, and to be perfectly honest has a massive stick up his arse. Not to mention paranoid. He tends to assume the worst in any situation and (over)react accordingly. He considers himself to be the caretaker of his three younger companions, and while he genuinely loves them and will do anything to protect them, he’s also bossy and strict towards them, and reacts to insolence with aggression. In his mind this is justified, as if he allows them to get into bad habits, they’ll end up angering somebody they shouldn’t and then they’ll be killed/drop dead on the spot/the seas will boil and the sky will fall.

Abilities: He doesn’t have any flashy powers, but he is fast, strong, and incredibly resilient. He heals quickly, doesn’t seem to age, and he never gets sick. He also has somewhat heightened senses. Psychic powers do work on him, but users have commented that he feels “weird”.

Weaknesses: Physically, he has very few weaknesses. However, mentally he’s much more vulnerable. He has a very rigid way of thinking, and if something happens to shake this up, he’ll take it very badly. Very, very badly. He’s also totally at a loss without a master. He is so utterly unused to the idea of being his own boss that, in his world, not having a master simply means that he doesn’t know who his new master is. If he doesn’t know who his new master is, he doesn’t know what he must do to please them. Which is bad. So, of course, this is exactly what happens in the story.

Goals: Finish what his master started. No matter what it takes. Keep himself and his charges alive. Again, no matter what it takes.

Role in the story: If I did end up using him as the main antagonist (I’m still not sure about this), this is how it would go: his previous “master” dies partway through the story, so in a frantic effort to Do What Is Expected Of Him he continues on with what he believes to be his master’s plan, only moreso. Said plan involves betraying and wiping out a whole lot of people with powers for petty revenge, but if that’s his master’s plan then that’s his master’s plan.

Also, a recurring issue the characters have to deal (and all deal with differently) with is societal expectations vs individual personality. How much of yourself can you be if it’s not what society wants from you? Oya is an example of someone who has surrendered totally to societal expectations at the cost of his own desires.

Backstory: Nobody really knows where Oya and his companions came from. It’s known that they have been alive for some time, but as they view time somewhat differently from normal humans, asking them their ages is rarely helpful. Their names have been changed several times over the years at the whims of their various masters, making it difficult to keep track of them. The best anybody who knows about them can do is say that Oya, and three others like him, were the servants of a particular English family, the Walkers, passed down through the years as their masters aged and died. The only surviving documents concerning the four during this time come from various albums, records and documents belonging to the Walker family. According to the records, each servant seemed to play a particular role. Oya, who seems to be the oldest, was the head servant. Misha, the next after Oya, was a bodyguard. The younger two, Karin and Cort, were companions and playmates. All available documentation suggests that they were quite happy during this time. Photos even exist of Oya smiling and laughing, things he rarely does nowadays.

However, after a point, the four disappear from the family’s records. A theory within the family is that they were lost in a poker game, though others claim that they were kicked out after being caught stealing, or possibly they stole a great deal of money and ran away. In truth, what happened was they were all kicked out over a single incident. They refused to carry out a request they found objectionable (What it was I haven’t decided. Theft or murder or something) and were unceremoniously kicked out. After that they were passed around various people of varying levels of morality, never staying with any one master very long. Eventually, they ended up with one Daniel Walker, a descendant (though fairly distantly-removed) of the man who had disowned them. Daniel was a young, entitled brat with far too much money on his hands, but he was a Walker, which was enough to make Oya and his companions desperate to make up for their mistake. Well, mostly Oya. The others got dragged along for the ride.

edited 25th Jan '16 11:42:59 PM by Murataku

Everybody's all "Jerry's old and feeble" till they see him run down a skyscraper and hijack a helicopter mid-flight.

Live long and prosper, thread, for you have risen from the depths again!

On a less idiotic note, Murataku - while Oya is an interesting and fascinating character, with great personality and well-built motivations, I don't think he'd work well as the chief villain. He's just too sympathetic. Seriously, if it wasn't for his end goal, I'd absolutely see him on heroes' side, and while this makes for a Tragic Villain, I dare say Oya and his kin need someone more... vile and well, villainous to carry the story forward and have the readers cheer for heroes' success. A Hate Sink of sorts, maybe. So all in all, a great character, but one better suited to be The Dragon rather than The Big Bad.

---

Aaand for my villain, of the same piece my latest characters in Hero CT come from. I figured I'm going to start with the entire group, since their Dragon and Big Bad are way too connected with them and writing them separately would be somewhat awkward without explanations first. Beware, though, the backstory for them is a long one.

• Name: The Men Beneath/The First Men
• Appearance: They mostly resemble humans, although they're taller and nimbler. They have ashen skin, black hair and black or gray eyes they usually hide under a wide variety of masks, from simple theatre things to animal skulls. Some have horns. They usually wear rusty-looking carapace armour richly decorated with various motifs, the exact motif depending on the clan they come from.
• Age: The oldest are roughly 3,5 thousand years old, the youngest several hundred.
• Personality: They're warlike and extremely focused on proving oneself through combat and war, so only the most cunning and militarly-excellent ones get to rise to ranks of their leaders - although when they achieve that, others follow them thanks to Might Makes Right until someone bigger and meaner comes by. While they might imitate trappings of civilized society, they don't trust each other, so every time a hand is extended in welcome, the other one is clutching a knife behind their back. Typical First Man predicts betrayal coming from any possible side, distrusts his companions, yet at the same time plans his own betrayal if it'll move him up in life. They despise the gods, but nothing compares with the depth of their loathing of humans. They consider Second Men to be cattle with illusion of greatness and wish for nothing more than to put them back in their place - which is under First Men's heel.
• Abilities: The Men Beneath are taller, stronger and more agile than humans, and their long life-span, combined with their culture, makes most of them very experienced in combat. Most of them are experts with various cutting, stabbing and crushing weapons, and some of them possess the ability to use magic to incapacitate, weaken or strengthen, and to perform rituals. Any place infested by such ritual becomes a gate to the Beneath, empowering the First Men and weakening the Second Men. They also command thralls, animal-like mutated creatures they brought with them to the Beneath when thrown into it.
• Weaknesses: While their warlocks can "whisper" across the world to their cultists, the Ones Beneath are locked in the dimension they're named after and can't cross over to human side without ritual being performed there. They don't have guns or even crossbows, and their numbers are small compared to humans. Additionally, their distrust of each other means that any cooperation between them is bound to fall apart at one point or another.
• Goals: To kill as many humans as possible. The end-game of the "ruling class" is breaking out of the Beneath and returning to rule the world, but the younger ones have little concern beside "punishing" their once-slaves and raiding the human world.
• Motivation: They loathe the Second Men for being cattle that yet managed to rebel and throw off their rule. The older ones want a payback for Skarah, but many younger ones are just in it for the thrill of the fight.
• Role in the story: The Elite Mooks for the heroes to fight and basically the evil faction of the story.
• Backstory: Thousands of years ago, the gods have created Men and granted them sentience so that the planet they made would not go to waste. Men were immortal and powerful, so they did what most would do if they were immortal and powerful - they procrastinated. A lot. Gods, believing that Men were wasting their potential, created the Second Men, weaker and mortal cousins to the now-renamed First Men. Gods had little experience in human psychology at the time, so the inevitable happened and the First Men ended up enslaving the Second Men, turning them into their servants, workers and even source of food, with the Lords gleefully organizing giant hunts for humans and forcing them to carry the entire economy on their shoulders.
  Suffice to say, the gods were pissed. After gentle suggestions that perhaps the First Men should knock it off fell on deaf ears, they instead took away First Men's magic and incited a rebellion among the Second Men, with the god called the Sixth Divine shedding his powers and descending on Terra Illuminata to lead the rebellion. Unfortunately, the First Men managed to kill the Sixth Divine and used his corpse to obtain magic again. This is where the gods became really pissed off. With gloves coming off, their options became to either incinerate the entire planet and start anew, or drag the First Men by their souls into the Spirit World, the Beneath. God Patahawanka, not willing to see his work on Terra Illuminata undone, convinced the others to go with the second option^note An event later dubbed "Skarah" and has regretted the decision ever since as the newly-dubbed Men Beneath continued to menace humankind through the ages.
• Relevant Tropes:
  • 24-Hour Armor: They seem to never take it off.
  • Always Chaotic Evil: Regardless of personal motivations, they always want to murder humans, which makes them this in heroes' eyes.
  • Aristocrats Are Evil: The very first aristocrats their world knew, and slave-keeping, human-eating ones to boot.
  • Asskicking Equals Authority: The most combat-capable ones get to lead.
  • Blood Knight: One of their racial traits.
  • Blood Magic: Their magic being powered by a corpse of a dead god, it requires the user shedding blood, his or others', to make it work.
  • Blood-Splattered Warrior: Their usual appearance, to instill fear in their enemies.
  • Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: If two First Men are working together, chances are, they're both planning to murder each other already.
  • Elite Mook: The usual mook from the Beneath is a thrall, and those guys are way, way better.
  • Enemy Civil War: Within Beneath, various clans are at war with each other almost as much as they are with humans, and there are instances of two separate groups waging war against each other after crossing over to human realm.
  • Forever War: What Beneath under their rule looks like. Also their campaign against humans.
  • Horned Humanoid: Some have horns. It seems to be random who gets them.
  • Insistent Terminology: The call themself "Men" and don't like humans "stealing" the term or calling them "First Men" or "Men Beneath".
  • Kill the God: What they did to the Sixth Divine.
  • Klingon Promotion: You too can become a Lord by killing the previous one and then surviving bajilion assassination attempts that are sure to follow!
  • Malevolent Masked Men: They always wear masks, part as a cultural thing, and part to terrorize their enemies.
  • Metallic Motif: Rust.
  • Might Makes Right: The Lords essentially bully their subordinates into following them.
  • Motive Decay: The older ones still remeber when they ruled the Second Men and hate humans for what they are. The younger just want to war.
  • Our Demons Are Different: They're pretty much demons of the setting.
  • Parental Favoritism: Could be part of why they hate humans so much - they believe that the gods consider the Second Men "better" for some reason and treat them with more love than they did the First Men.
  • The Ageless: They don't age.
  • The Clan: They're grouped in family packs, although one can join the clan one's unrelated to. The clan is the most important unit of society for them and while in-clan power struggle is usual, outside interference is considered distasteful and bringing it in - disgusting.
  • The Sleepless: They don't need to sleep.
  • To Serve Man: They consider human flesh to be a very high-class dish, so they often take human corpses with them. They used to eat lot more humans back when they were in charge.
  • Zerg Rush: Their most common tactic is to flood the enemy with thralls to weaken him before committing to the fight. Coversely, this is how un-empowered humans fight them - while a single First Man will deal with human with no problem, a group can take one down much more easily.

edited 26th Jan '16 2:00:55 PM by Kakai

Rejoice!

Kakai, thanks for the feedback! Yeah, what you mentioned is pretty much exactly what I was worried about. You're right, though. He would be better suited as The Dragon.

Everybody's all "Jerry's old and feeble" till they see him run down a skyscraper and hijack a helicopter mid-flight.

Once again, a good character—or I guess characters, since they are a race. When first looking at the First Men, and reading their physical description and society, I was reminded or the typical "Fantasy Thug-Races" like Orcs, goblins, etc and thought that was what you were presenting. The reality is so much more complicated and fascinating. You seem to have combined the "fantasy-thug race" with a tale of initial greatness devolving into evil and barbarity in a sort of "fallen angel/original sin" type of manner. They definitely seem a formidable foe, and now I can understand just why the organization the Guerras belong to wants them dead in a major sort of way—as I mentioned, I sort of dismissed them as generic, but now know better.

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace

@Murataku: Good to know that my choice of music worked out. At first I was going to go with "Superbeast" by Rob Zombie, but then I remembered Rhapsody, and...well, the JRPG fan in me couldn't turn a blind eye on a song with Latin lyrics. Though the English lyrics are stupidly-fitting.

It should go without saying, but thanks for the response. Veyron's still very much a work in progress (still in the conceptual stage, arguably), so it's nice to hear that I'm doing a couple of things right. I was kind of worried, because she's not exactly the most complex villain — I'd lovingly describe her as an M. Bison expy — but it seems like I'm onto something here.

So to answer your questions (and not just try to cover my ass): Veyron ended up forgotten, but there are still a few VERY old characters who remember the world the way it used to be — and thus know the truth about the "two goddesses". More pressingly? Veyron in the past — when she had all of her power — was colossal, and Avalon had to match her point-for-point just to stand a chance. (If you've seen any of Xenoblade Chronicles, their clash was basically like that.) The dark goddess pretty much exploded when the final blow was dealt — and while her body was destroyed, remnants remained. Those same remnants more or less became fossils in the new world, and Dino's cadre (after following a lead from one of those ancient characters/a mysterious benefactor) uncovered enough to help facilitate a resurrection.

As for your second question? Yeah, Veyron's pretty much always been like that. As Valerie, she always had that malicious streak in her; incidentally, she grew up alongside Avalon, making them something very close to sisters. (Though to be clear, kid Avalon was found by Valerie's dad, and he raised her like Pa Kent raised Clark.) Avalon's constant goodness and cheer won her some fans, not to mention she was a natural both physically and mentally. So Valerie's hatred stemmed from jealousy as much as pettiness — and once she started to gain godlike powers, those feelings only grew stronger and darker...and more pitiable, one could argue. Like I said, she's a very large child despite — or maybe because of — her superhuman nature.

There we go. Ass successfully covered.

I'll be sure to comment on other villains as they come — and at some point, I'll toss another one of mine up here. Just need to make sure I've got his theme song locked down.

My Wattpad — A haven for delightful degeneracy

You're welcome. Also, have you perhaps thought of some sort of "redemption arc" for Oya? I think it'd fit him.

Thank you! I admit I've always envisioned them more as the Fair Folk than Orcs or the like^note Can't you just see I love the Fair Folk? , so it's good to see that I've managed to stay somewhat clear of both one and the other. The "fallen angels" comparison is, I suppose, inevitable, given the backstory, but it's not bad, not bad at all.

Rejoice!

So the gods never decided to destroy the First Men again after plan A failed? Though it may be because they start laying low after the gods decided to start exterminating them, or the constant backstabbing kept their numbers from being significant enough to become a threat.

This character will be part of a group called the Prodigious Denary, ten people with exceptional intelligence taught by a 800 years old sage.

Name: Herrick Adler Aethelbeorn

Age: 35

Appearance: Has moppy black hair, pale skin and brown eyes and stubbles. When dressed, he looks scrawny and weak, but underneath he has the physique of a Olympic champion and numerous scars from battle. While in battle, he wears a threatening looking armor that may seem impractical to some, with a helmet shaped like the face of a menacing demon.

Personality: Courageous and boastful, he is a natural leader, with charisma that gave him the undying loyalty of his men. He is a Doting Parent, bending himself to the whims of his only daughter and isn't afraid to show affection to her in front of others. He is also as loyal to his men as they are to him, and will never sell them out to save himself. On the battlefield, he is ruthless, ripping apart his enemies in what seems to be sadistic glee. That is a facade,as he detest fighting, and if he could, he would not pick up a sword for the rest of his life, but reality is harsh to him. He is faithful, and never had any affection for another woman after his wife died. He is a cautious person, never charging into things if he is not sure he could win.

Abilities: Having learned from the smartest character in the story, he is extremely intelligent and cunning. He is a tactical genius, and is able to defeat much larger armies. He is a natural leader, able to direct his army even during battle. He is also a good actor, able to make himself seem weak or stupid to others, so that they would underestimate him. His greatest strength is his fighting prowess, having trained since young. He has collected magically enhanced weapons over the years, with his two swords and a halberd as his main weapons. The halberd, having been used to slain beings of magical nature, is able to slice through normal armor with ease. The two swords were originally in possession of another great warrior, who Herrick bested in battle. The two swords will automatically return to the wielder hands if lost, and can act independently to protect its owner from harm, and enhance the physical ability of the owner when wielded. His armor is also special, with the ability of boosting his physical ability further when in contact with blood. He also know Blood Magic, and can use blood to increase the power of his weapons, protect himself in the form of red mist or heal himself.

Weakness: Having gone through so many battles, he has many injuries that are either permanent or hasn't healed properly, which can be targeted as a weakness. His cautious nature also means he will often hesitate when making a decision, and many plans that could have succeeded were scrapped since he was unwilling to take the chance.

Goals: To build reputation for his mercenary army as an invincible force and get a patch of land where he can rule as a lord.

Motivation: He intends to use his reputation to scare of potential threats and also have a stable income for his mercenary army. When he intends to retire, he wants to own a small patch of land where he can live peacefully.

Role in the story: Not evil, but being a mercenary, he is too much of a Wild Card that has to be killed. He is the Enemy Mine for the protagonist and the antagonist.

Backstory: When he was born, his village was pillaged and destroyed, with only him surviving. The local lord found him when he heard the sound of a baby crying, and decided to take him in. He volunteered to train as a knight and serve the lord to repay him. At the age of 16, however, a war started and the lord died in battle. Ashamed that he couldn't save his benefactor, he left. When going through the forest, he found a tree with corpses lying around. Being hungry, he tried to pick a fruit from the tree. The corpses around him stood up and started attacking him. He managed to kill them all, and picks a fruit from the tree and ate it. He collapse in pain and lost consciousness. Luckily, he was picked up by the sage, Alden. He was surprised that Herrick managed to survive, and told him about the tree. Said tree was a magical tree and has roots that spread over the continent, feeding of the blood of the dead. While normally it would kill anyone that ate the fruit, any survivors would be able to use Blood Magic. Not wanting him to use his new powers to harm others, he start teaching him how to use his power properly. Herrick was also taught on warfare and politics. He left at the age of 21, joining a mercenary army. With his knowledge and skills, he quickly rose in rank and became their leader. His future wife, Celene, was the daughter of the lord he was working for. While their relationship was a secret for a while, he was granted her hand in marriage after saving the life of the lord. However, after his daughter was born, the same army that killed his benefactor invaded, his wife dying from a stray arrow. Pissed, he activated his Blood Magic, forcing the invaders single-handedly. Believing himself to be a jinx, he sought to build the reputation of his army so nobody would threaten him and those around him. He constantly challenges monsters way out of his league, killing them, boosting his reputation. He searches for weapons and treasures, taking it for himself of give it to his men. He constantly fight in war against larger armies, building his reputation and gained the attention of the king, and was employed as his personal army. Then the story starts...

Relevant Tropes: {{Ain't Too Proud to Beg}}: When defeated and his army is about to be executed, he faked being a coward and begged for his life, after seeing that the antagonist wanted his army to join him. However, this was a ploy, since none of his men was willing to surrender, and aimed to paint himself as a selfish, cowardly bastard so they would lose their loyalty.

Badass: He is the strongest fighter in my story, is able to slay dragons and giants with ease, and died fighting till the end against an army of demons.

Elite Army: There are only 5000 of them, but they have defeated armies more than 10 times their size. They are considered the best army on the continent, which is saying a lot considering the armies of other groups consists of giants, dragons or demons.

Charles Atlas Superpower: Even without magic, he can lift a full armored man with one hand, and his strength only goes up from there.

Curb-Stomp Battle: Only one battle wasn't this, and he was facing a Dragonslayer and another wielding the power of a Phoenix at the same time.

Cool Horse: Would charge fearlessly at anything as long as Herrick didn't say stop, even into fire.

Dying Moment of Awesome: He goes down fighting an army of demons by himself. The only reason he died was because he loss too much blood. He Died Standing Up, and none of the giant demons dared to go near his body.

Foe-Tossing Charge: When riding his horse, he is near unstoppable.

Four-Star Badass

A Father to His Men: He is willing to suffer humiliation to save them, and when that failed, he charged at the antagonist, mowing through his demon army and demands that he spare them.

Badass Boast: Related to above. " If you go back on your word, I will fight my way out of hell to kill you and drag you back with me."

Person of Mass Destruction

Red Baron: The crimson warrior, from the red mist surrounding his body.

Super-Strength

{{World's Strongest Man}}: He is the strongest fighter, bar none.

Blade on a Stick: His primary weapon, the halberd.

Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: He is a mercenary, he works for the highest bidder.

Face Death with Dignity: Purposely avoided.

Heroic BSoD: When he thought his daughter died. He managed to recover, but it was too late.

Hunk

Ignore the Fan Service: He is loyal to his wife.

Lightning Bruiser

Living Legend: His feats and strength made him a figure that is many people wish to employ or kill. Claiming to be stronger than him is considered a Badass Boast. Even after death, he is still used as a measuring stick for the warriors after him. His name is used to warn people not to underestimate anyone, even if they are only one man.

Genius Bruiser: His intelligence is as famous as his strength.

One-Man Army: Entire battle formations have to change when he enters.

Doting Parent

Papa Wolf: He will protect his daughter with his life. Which leads to...

Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Twice, once for his wife and another when he thought his daughter died. He mowed through armies like grass and gave all of them No-Holds-Barred Beatdown. Said army is still traumatized by it and will be terrified when facing anyone that seemed to also be an One-Man Army.

Too Dumb to Live: Trying to eat the fruit of a tree protected by zombies isn't a good idea.

Blood Magic: After eating the fruit.

Scary Impractical Armor: His armor is definitely intimidating, but it only seem impractical. He can move easily in it.

Taking Up the Mantle: His daughter didn't die, and decided to keep on her father's legacy and take revenge. Taking up his two swords, armor(Which can change shape to fit the owner) and his horse, she acts as the leader of the remnants of his mercenary army.

Undying Loyalty: None of his men were willing to surrender. Only after seeing Herrick sacrifice himself for them, they honor his last wish to continue living, wanting to take revenge.

edited 27th Jan '16 6:40:10 AM by Ikedatakeshi

It's very likely that's what'll happen, yeah. Though snapping him out of it won't exactly be easy

Everybody's all "Jerry's old and feeble" till they see him run down a skyscraper and hijack a helicopter mid-flight.

Ikedatakeshi, you just created an awesome, Badass and pretty amazing hero on the villain thread. Shame on you! No, I'm kidding, but I really like Herrick. There's really almost nothing to complain about; he's a powerful and feared warrior who can apparently go toe-to-to with armies and win, he cares for his subordinates and his family and that gambit he pulled so that they wouldn't all have to die, even after they were defeated...amazing. What I have to wonder is, why did he have to be killed? While I was joking about being a hero, there don't seem to really be many, well, evil traits to him. What Herrick sounds like, is a man who at the very worst, is on the wrong side of a conflict and is thus a "villain" to those against him, while remaining a decent and heroic commander to those he leads.

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace