Bonding Over Dislikes

Even Bile Fascination can make for a strong family dynamic.

It's natural for people to bond over shared interests. This is an inversion of that: these people instead become closer due to realizing they both hate certain people, places, or things.

Contrast Enemy Mine, which is about bitter enemies temporarily setting aside their differences to face an even bigger threat, and Fire-Forged Friends, which involves hostile groups that become friends after fighting alongside each other. Unlike them, this trope doesn't necessarily pertain to people who hate each other and can include anyone from strangers, to acquaintances, to even friends and family members who've grown apart. Moreover, they don't need to fight alongside each other or work towards a common goal, either; they simply need to feel closer to one another after learning they dislike some of the same things. If the two sides are simply working together for pragmatic reasons but don't feel any closer to each other, then it isn't this trope.

Can be Played for Laughs to emphasize how something is so awful that people actually bond over their mutual resentment of it or show that a person puts their (often irrational) hatred above everything else if all it takes for them to bond with someone is for that person to hate the same thing. A Sub-Trope to Commonality Connection. See also A Shared Suffering, Bonding over Missing Parents, Lonely Together, and The One Thing I Don't Hate About You.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• One Piece: In the cover story "Germa 66's Ahh... An Emotionless Excursion," Caesar and Judge re-unite many years after they went their separate ways. There's a shared flashback showing the pair as part of the scientific institution MADS in their younger days, as the two beat each other up in the present. Until they remember they both hate Vegapunk far more than they hate each other, set their differences aside, decide to join forces, and found NEO MADS.

Comic Strips

• For Better or for Worse: Mike and his first girlfriend Martha bonded over disliking their first names (Mike was named after a high school friend of his mom's that he's never met, Martha after an aunt). After hearing this, Martha eagerly asks what else they hate in common.
  Martha: I hate relish on hot dogs!
  Mike: Me, too.
  Martha: I hate Elvis Presley!
  Mike: Me, too!
  Martha: I hate it when they treat me like a 2-year-old when I'm old enough an' smart enough to think for myself!!!
  Mike: YEAH!!!
  Mike and Martha: [thinking] This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Fanfics

• In ironically, Rey and Armitage bond over their shared hatred towards Kylo Ren.
• The Mountain and the Wolf: Tyrion and the Wolf get thoroughly smashed, drunkenly spill their backstories, and bring their cups together when it turns out both of them had to kill the woman they loved and then the man who pushed them to it (Tyrion's father, the Wolf's prospective father-in-law). It leads the Wolf to consider Tyrion a friend, though Tyrion wants nothing to do with the barbarian.
• Scarlet Lady:
  • The titular Nominal Heroine (Chloé Bourgeois with the Ladybug Miraculous) is so obnoxious that she's unwittingly brought many people closer together simply due to how much they hate her:
    • Adrien and Marinette had already begun to develop feelings for each other when he offers to walk her home at the end of "Origins." They grow even closer as they talk about how much they hate Scarlet Lady for Stealing the Credit for Chat Noir's victory, with Marinette even quietly murmuring, "I love you."
    • Played for Laughs in "Volpina," in which Lila gets akumatized into the titular akuma after Scarlet Lady cruelly humiliates her by throwing her into a fountain in the middle of winter. As Volpina, she's initially wary of Marinette, whom she views as a rival for Adrien. However, upon hearing Marinette declare Scarlet Lady "the worst," Volpina quickly does a 180, grabbing Marinette's hands while staring at her with starry eyes, though Marinette is rather uncomfortable with this. Played more seriously when Lila laments in "The Collector" that her social life has been ruined thanks to Scarlet Lady; Marinette saying that "Scarlet Lady sucks" helps Lila realize she's not as alone as she thinks, which ultimately convinces her to turn over a new leaf.
    • Alya initially bears a grudge against Lila for lying about being best friends with Scarlet Lady in an interview for the Ladyblog. She gradually buries the hatchet as she slowly sees Scarlet Lady for who she really is and realizes Lila's hatred of the Ladybug heroine may in fact be justified.
  • A variant when Chloé's half-sister Zoé Lee arrives in Paris and asks who Marigold is, being unfamiliar with Paris's superheroes. Chloé perceives this as an insult to the Bee heroine, whom Chloé hates, and noticeably warms up to her half-sister as a result, at least until Zoé reveals she doesn't know who Scarlet Lady is, either.
  • Chloé Bourgeois spends most of "Style Queen" fruitlessly attempting to bond with her mother Audrey, who simply isn't interested in anything her daughter has to offer. Then Audrey becomes the titular akuma after Gabriel deliberately slights her at his fashion show. Afterwards, Chloé suggests heading back to give Gabriel a piece of their mind, and her mother mutters "At last, something we can agree on."
• The Infinite Loops: Han Solo and Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader could not stand each other for eons. Then came Hurricane Billy and the duo would ultimately somewhat bond over one thing-how much they could not stand Billy.

Film — Live-Action

• As Good as It Gets: The first conversation between Melvin and Simon that doesn't involve Melvin insulting him is when they talk about hating the feeling of being tired. It marks the first step to them finally becoming friends.
• The World of Henry Orient: Marion and Valerie first meet when the former tries to help the latter get part of her paper that's being blown away by the wind. Once they settle down and talk to each other, Marion and Valerie find out they both dislike the school, the same teachers, and some of the same classmates, which helps start their friendship.

Literature

• Played With in the children's book The Day Leo Said, "I Hate You." A boy named Leo and his mother get into an argument but settle it by talking about things they both have in common, including both things they love and things they hate.
• Death in the Clouds: Jane Grey and Norman Gale turn out to like and dislike the same things (the last one is removed in later editions for obvious reasons), which helps fuel their relationship. Too bad Norman is the murderer.
  They liked dogs and disliked cats. They both hated oysters and loved smoked salmon. They liked Greta Garbo and disliked Katherine Hepburn. They didn't like fat women and admired really jet-black hair. They disliked very red nails. They disliked loud voices, noisy restaurants, and Negroes.
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Greg and his dad Frank Heffley don't have the best relationship, but they always manage to reconnect over how much they hate the Li'l Cutie comic.
• Subverted in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It looks as though Ron and Harry might finally reconcile over their shared frustration towards Snape after their teacher gives them both detentions and docks 50 points from Gryffindor because Harry and Draco were duelling in the corridor, all while insulting Hermione after she's hit with a teeth-growing hex from Draco's wand that Draco doesn't even get punished for. However, after they march back into the classroom, Ron still refuses to sit with or talk to Harry. When Harry later forgives Ron after the latter apologizes, it doesn't have anything to do with this incident.
• The Princess Wei Yang: Though there are other reasons for Li Wei Yang and Sun Yan Jun's Odd Friendship, one of the first things they bond over is their disdain for Wei Yang's older half-sister Chang Le, whom they both know is a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing.
• From C. S. Lewis's "On Three Ways of Writing for Children":
  Once in a hotel dining-room, I said, rather too loudly, "I loathe prunes."
  "So do I," came an unexpected six-year-old voice from another table.
  Sympathy was instantaneous. Neither of us thought it funny. We both knew that prunes are far too nasty to be funny.

Live-Action TV

• On The Big Bang Theory, Howard and Bernadette's relationship kicked off when they found they both had mutual dislike of their own mothers. Howard's mother is the stereotypical Jewish Mother and is considered the reason he grew up into such a Manchild. Meanwhile Bernadette's mother forced her to raise her siblings and also ran a daycare center where Bernadette was responsible for looking after all of the kids causing several issues for her mental health.
• On Cheers, Frasier and Carla first start developing a friendship when, after he's dumped by Diane, the two of them bond over their mutual animosity of her.
• D.C. Follies: Barbara Bush and Mrs. Gorbachev had a hard time bonding with each other until it was recommended they bond with something they both disliked. Both exclaim at once, "Nancy Reagan!!!".
• Full House: The B-plot of "The Devil Made Me Do It" involves D.J. inviting Stephanie and Kimmy into her bedroom, then locking the door and telling them that she's not letting them leave until they learn to get along. D.J. suggests that the other girls find something they have in common—and immediately regrets it when Stephanie and Kimmy start bonding over how annoying they both find D.J.
• The Golden Girls: In "Transplant," it's revealed that Blanche has a long-standing rivalry with her sister Virginia. After Virginia admits that she's dying of renal failure, Blanche decides to put that rivalry aside and offers to donate one of her own kidneys. It's not a match, but Virginia is able to find a donor anyway, and the two finally begin to heal their rift... by complaining about their other sister Charmaine. It seems that the Hollingsworth women have a predisposition to mocking one another.
• Hannah Montana: Invoked by Mikayla when she suggests that she and Miley become friends and start by doing Mikayla's favorite things together: shop, get their nails done, and talk about how much she hates Hannah Montana.
• How I Met Your Mother: Wendy the waitress and Meeker, Marshall's co-worker who got fired by him, meet outside the bar and bond together due to their shared dislike of Marshall. In a 2021 flash-forward, Ted meets Wendy at the airport in Hong Kong and learns that she and Meeker got married and have three children.
• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Subverted in "The Gang Squashes Their Beefs." Charlie tries to work out a deal between Frank and their unpleasant landlord Hwang over rent issues. The two old men start ranting about their mutual dislike of doctors, which Charlie takes as a sign of progress. But though Hwang is willing to compromise, Frank still refuses to pay the rent because he refuses to be beaten.
• In Joan of Arcadia, Luke and Grace try to find common ground in their musical tastes, but there doesn't seem to be any until someone walks by playing Kool & the Gang's "Celebration" and they immediately agree at least neither of them likes that.
• Lidsville: The citizens of Lidsville hit upon the idea of giving wicked wizard Hoodoo a Love Interest based on the theory that he'll be too distracted to bother with the townsfolk. They hook him up with Witchiepoo from H.R. Pufnstuf, though it seems the two aren't going to hit it off. However, when the pair discover a shared hatred of muggles as well as a mutual enjoyment of tormenting them, they set off in Hoodoo's flying topper, zapping the bejesus out of the townsfolk. It seems wizards get wickeder when they're in love.
• Scrubs: Played for Laughs when JD waxes rhapsodic over the fact that he and his new girlfriend both hate beets.
• Played for Laughs in an episode of Sirens (US), where Johnny's dad, a fireman, and Theresa's dad, a cop, spend the whole episode sniping at each other at a cookout until a fight lands both of them in the hospital, where they find that they agree on one thing—they both think doctors are a bunch of self-righteous, god-playing assholes.
• Parks and Recreation: Ron and upscale hairdresser Typhoon—whom Ron is forced to visit when his old barber dies—seem like they'd have nothing in common... until they start talking.
  Ron: Please talk more about how you hate Europe and bicycles.
• Sonny with a Chance: Parodied in "Sonny With A Secret" when Chad suggests that Sonny and Penelope get to know each other over some shopping. Neither girl is impressed that he thinks that's all it takes for two girls to bond, telling him that they also need something in common to talk about... like how offended they are that he thinks any two girls can bond just by going shopping. The two quickly hit it off, though it's subverted when it turns out that Penelope was Evil All Along and had been plotting Sonny's death the entire time so she could have Chad all to herself.
• Star Trek: Strange New Worlds reveals that the legendary friendship between James Kirk and Spock began with the two of them bonding over their mutual annoyance of James' brother, Sam Kirk.
• The Suite Life of Zack & Cody: In the B plot for "Scary Movie", London meets a delivery guy named Brandon and immediately starts crushing on him, only to hear him complain about how obnoxious rich people are. Worried that Brandon will hate her as well if he knows she's rich, London voices her agreement and lies that she's poor, to which Brandon responds by asking her out on a date to cheer her up. When he later finds out the truth, he declares that he doesn't think any less of her for it since she's (in his eyes) so sweet and down-to-earth.

Puppet Shows

• Fraggle Rock: In "All Work and All Play", Cotterpin Doozer doesn't want to follow in the footsteps of all the other Doozers and become a construction builder. Wanting to learn to be a Fraggle and spend her days dancing and playing, she introduces herself to Red Fraggle, despite the fact that Fraggles don't tend to speak to Doozers. Red is taken aback and doesn't see how a Doozer could ever learn to be a Fraggle. What cements their friendship, though, is the fact that they both hate when they have to admit that they're wrong.
  Red: Listen, let's face facts. You are six inches tall. You really can't be a Fraggle.
  Cotterpin: But... but I really, really can't be a Doozer!
  Red: Well, why not?
  Cotterpin: Because I told 'em I wouldn't put on a helmet and build. I told 'em I was gonna live with the Fraggles.
  Red: You did?
  Cotterpin: Yeah, and if I go back now... well, I'll have to admit I was wrong.
  Red: Ohhh! Oh, you don't want to do that! I hate doing that. Ever.
  Cotterpin: Yeah! Me, too.
  Red: Well, let's see what we can do for you.

Theater

• Company: Discussed in the song “The Little Things You Do Together”, where Joanne is singing about things that help to make a marriage successful, but since she’s The Cynic, this ends up including things like having “people that you hate together”.

Video Games

• Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One: If Ratchet and Dr Nefarious are teamed up together, they'll start to bond over their shared dislike of Captain Quark.
• Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure: Cali and Flynn spend most of the game on ambivalent terms, but once Kaos has been defeated and the day is saved, they find something they can really connect over: their shared annoyance at the villain's indignant ranting.

Web Animation

• Zero Punctuation: Yahtzee will occasionally invoke this trope in an attempt to avert He Panned It, Now He Sucks! by, in his own words, "review[ing] a game that absolutely nobody expected to be good and which entirely meets those expectations."

Western Animation

• The Boondocks: Played for Black Comedy in "Stinkmeaner Returns." Realising that only "peace" can exorcise Stinkmeaner's spirit, Huey and Riley achieve this by getting him to bond with Uncle Ruckus over their mutual hatred of black people.
• Danny Phantom: Jazz tries to infiltrate Vlad's manor in "Secret Weapons" by telling him she's been having issues with her family and asking him to let her live with him instead. Vlad is initially annoyed by her suddenly showing up on his doorstep, but he quickly warms up to the idea of raising Jazz as his daughter after he hears her disparage her father Jack for being an idiot (she knows Vlad blames Jack for "stealing" Maddie from him). However, it's implied that Vlad suspected Jazz was hiding something from him from the start and always intended to use her for his own goals, which he later does in the episode.
• In The Fairly Oddparents, Wanda's father Big Daddy was kidnapped by Mama Cosma, in order to get him to separate his daughter from her son Cosmo. Soon they ended up bonding over their dislike for their respective children-in-law.
• Hey Arnold!: In "Quantity Time," Bob, after realizing how miserable Helga G. Pataki is, buys tickets for a musical he thinks she wanted to see (she actually wanted to see a wrestling match). They end up bonding because they both hate the musical.
• Lilo & Stitch: The Series: Exploited in "Snooty." Victoria wrongly thinks that Snooty is a vampire who's out to get her and agrees with Gantu when he calls the titular experiment "an abomination"; Gantu later uses this to convince Victoria to trust him and help him capture Snooty so that Gantu can transport the experiment to a prison asteroid and away from Victoria. He bluntly admits to her later, though, that he plans to use her as bait.
• My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo first became friends primarily because they all lacked a cutie mark at the time and hated Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
• Penguins of Madagascar: Leonard and Joey became friends because they both hate penguins. Private lampshades this, saying that they became friends only because they hate their guts.
• The Powerpuff Girls (1998) has the family of a would-be-supervillain, previously disconnected and ignoring his mid-life crisis and his one-sided hatred of Professor Utonium, join his scheme of supervillainy: the mom "had her dinner ruined," the daughter blamed them for losing her toys, and the son... just "hates everything."
• Steven Universe: Future: In "Bluebird," this trope is what allows Bluebird Azurite to exist. Aquamarine and Eyeball (Ruby) fuse into a new form, but the trope is later subverted when they aren't able to maintain it, ironically, because of a shared dislike for each other. The trope is played straight again when Steven accidentally allows them to fuse when he reminds them that they need to have a common link to do so. That common link, however, happens to be each other's hatred for Steven, even though it's already been proven that Steven is the rightful heir to a position on the Diamond Authority.
• In Strange Magic, Marianne and the Bog King initially start to bond over their shared dislike of romantic love: both had bad past experiences with romantic relationships that led them to believe they're a waste of time that makes you stupid and weak. Ironically, Marianne and Bog end up falling in love with each other.
• The Venture Bros.: In "Return to Malice," Dr. Venture and Dr. Mrs. the Monarch (to whom he's normally an Abhorrent Admirer) bond while waiting at the old observatory in the supervillain town "Malice" over their shared negative experiences in the "hero/villain" industry and how it left them stuck with ruined lives, Rusty as a former boy "adventurer" whose Hilariously Abusive Childhood left him with countless wounds, both physical and psychological, Dr. Mrs. the Monarch as a competent female villain in the extremely misogynistic Guild of Calamitous Intent who was forced to work as the #2 for male villains.

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