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Series / Sirens (US)

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Sirens is an American remake of a British series, produced by Denis Leary and airing on USA Network. Like its Transatlantic Equivalent, it tells the story of three EMTs — Johnny, Hank, and Brian — as well as a police officer, Theresa, who also happens to be Johnny's on-again, off-again girlfriend (the series opens with them currently taking time off.)

The show was cancelled after its second season.

This show contains examples of:

  • All Gays are Promiscuous: Played with. In "Till Jeff Do Us Part", Hank boasts that he's currently seeing four different guys, but three other gay characters who've appeared on the series are in committed relationships, and it's strongly hinted that Hank's promiscuity is just his way of covering up the insecurities that he's developed ever since his last serious relationship fell apart.
    • Ramon, Billy's cousin, asks Hank to visit him in prison but mentions that he'll probably be juggling multiple guys while inside.
  • All Men Are Perverts: Subverted. Theresa proposes "no strings attached" sex after which Johnny feels used.
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: Maeve, Stats, Voodoo, and Hank appear to believe so, judging by their reactions to Billy's penis in "Rachel McAdams, Topless". Stats starts listing off penis statistics while Hank stares at it, open mouthed, with clear desire in his eyes.
  • Bilingual Bonus: Billy occasionally speaks in unsubtitled Spanish.
  • Brain Bleach: In the episode "Rachel McAdams, Topless", the guys accidentally see a pornographic film involving a woman and a horse. They spend much of the rest of the episode trying to get the image out of their heads. Then they burst in on two elderly people in the throes of passion.
    Johnny: It was a horse having an orgasm. It's not the end of the world… maybe it is the end of the world.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Under all of their many quirks, they're still alarmingly good EMTs.
  • Butt-Monkey: Brian.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Billy somehow manages to disarm a drunk guy with a gun.
  • Dynamic Entry: A realistic example in "Rachel McAdams, Topless", Johnny kicks down a door when a medical alert patient doesn't respond to his knocking and shouting. He turns around and horse kicks the door open after three tries, unlike the immediately effective face-on push kick or shoulder ram often seen in TV and movies. He and the team immediately regret having done so, however.
  • Eating the Eye Candy: After Theresa, along with Maeve, Stats, and Voodoo, arrive at her place to find Billy standing around naked, they join Hank in staring at Billy's naked body. It's clear they're enjoying the view.
  • Fair Cop: Theresa is a highly attractive cop.
    • As is Billy.
  • Fight for the Last Bite: Johnny buys donuts for his coworkers, but gets mad upon finding that all of the donuts are gone before he could take one for himself.
  • Fingore: Brian's final, semi-successful overture to Voodoo is presenting her with the severed finger of a patient. They spend the night staring at it, with Voodoo being particularly enthralled.
  • Gag Penis: Not that it's actually shown on screen, but Billy's penis is described as being so big that his covering it with both hands does nothing to hide it from view. And according to Billy, he's actually the smallest in his family. His brothers are bigger!
    Hank: I would love to go to their house for Thanksgiving.
  • Groin Attack: Theresa delivers one to an asshole cop who loudly argues that women can't be good cops.
  • Heel Realization: Throughout "Till Jeff Do Us Part", Hank keeps convincing himself that his ex-boyfriend Jeff's fiancée is just a Replacement Goldfish for Hank himself. But after meeting Alejandro, Hank realizes that Alejandro is actually better for Jeff than he was.
  • Hero Does Public Service: Parodied in "A Bitch Named Karma", where the guys are sent to teach kids CPR, but try to speed their way through it because they've scored tickets to a game on the same day.
  • Heroic BSoD: All three guys suffer one after accidentally watching a movie with a woman and a horse. And later on in the day, they collectively suffer a longer one after bursting in on an elderly couple in flagrante delicto.
  • Hidden Depths: For all that Johnny behaves like a horny jerk, he's actually pretty sensitive deep down. When Theresa proposes that they resume their sexual relationship, but draws the line at romance, he actually has difficulty with having sex without romance.
  • Hollywood Autism: Stats uses her savant counting skill to help take inventory.
  • I Call Him "Mister Happy": Mac, Stats, and Voodoo come up with a pretty impressive list of nicknames for their business, with Voodoo calling hers "the velveteen rabbit" simply to ruin her sister's favorite book.
  • Inter-Service Rivalry: Cops vs. Firefighters personified by Teresa and Johnny's fathers constantly clashing. Johnny's somewhat neutral on the matter because he's a paramedic working for a private company.
    • Later taken further in a debate over charcoal (cops) vs. gas (firefighters) grills.
    • The two sides, plus Johnny, unite over the pomposity of doctors.
  • Keet: Billy, Theresa's dimwitted partner. He acts like a big, dumb, over-excited puppy, and occasionally, Theresa actually treats him like one.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Johnny.
    • At least he's not his father. Johnny's dad is a massive dick.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: In "A Bitch Named Karma", Johnny and Hank score a pair of Bears tickets for a day when they're supposed to be running a CPR class. Naturally, they try and weasel their way out of teaching, and naturally, it goes horribly, horribly wrong.
  • Mood Whiplash: "Six Feet Over/Under" has a few, starting with Johnny's father obnoxiously celebrating a big win at the horse track before keeling over from a heart attack. We're also treated to two scenes featuring genuinely moving performances from Michael Mosley and Jean Smart only for the show to veer back towards loud and broad comedy.
  • New Parent Nomenclature Problem: After Cash starts dating Hank's mom, he tries to get Hank to start seeing him as a father figure, suggesting several possible affectionate term that he could use.
  • Old People are Nonsexual: In one episode, the guys try to get the image of a porn film involving a woman and a horse out of their heads. Then they burst in on two elderly people in the throes of passion, which grosses them out so much that they nearly accept the woman and the horse.
  • Parental Substitute: After he starts dating Hank's mom, Cash tries to become Hank's new father.
  • Poke the Poodle: When an Asshole Victim is rendered temporarily deaf by a lightning strike and ranting about suing anyone and everyone, Johnny and Hank start saying absolutely vile things to him, with "suck on Satan's nutsack" being one of the nicer things. When they try to convince Token Good Teammate Brian to do the same, the best he can come up with is "I don't like your shoes." Naturally, this is the one thing the guy actually hears.
  • The Pollyanna: Brian is often annoyingly cheerful and rather wholesome compared to his fellows.
  • Sassy Black Woman: Hank's mom is played by Loretta Devine, and is thus highly sassy.
  • Sexiness Score: In "Transcendual", Johnny, Hank and Theresa start frequenting the gym, and all enjoy the Workout Fanservice, to the point they start to rate them numerically On a Scale from One to Ten. But Johnny becomes uncomfortable "rating" girls with Theresa or even the idea of her going to the gym and other guys start rating her. Eventually, Hank and Theresa also start to feel uncomfortable when they realize their "overall hotness" is much lower in the gym when they're surrounded by Hunks and Amazonian Beauties. So they decide to stop going there and go to the zoo so they can feel likes "10s" again.
  • Straight Man: Ironically, this is Hank's role in the group. Whereas Johnny is often the dumb one and Brian is the cheerful one, Hank is usually the serious one in the group.
  • That Came Out Wrong: When Brian goes celibate, he claims he has "transcended" his sexuality, then starts calling himself a "transexual" and immediately regrets it.
  • The Nicknamer: Cash is responsible for giving out nicknames. Cash itself is short for "Cassius Clay," he picked the name up after Muhammad Ali dropped it.
    • Johnny got "Mousse" since he uses too much mousse in his hair.
    • Hank got "Deuce" for being the second black guy to work on the unit.
    • Val got "Voodoo" for being a bit of a Nightmare Fetishist and a word play on her name, Valentina Dunacci.
    • Sophia is "Stats" thanks to her Hollywood Autism making her a walking encyclopedia of information.
  • Twofer Token Minority: Hank is a gay black man.
  • Uncomfortable Elevator Moment: "Rachel McAdams, Topless" has two. The first comes after the guys witness the horse video. The second occurs after they accidentally barge in on an elderly couple having sex. In both cases, they ride the elevator afterwards in complete silence, each man equipped with a Thousand-Yard Stare.
  • Work Com