The stories we could tell...
- First of all, many jokes are repeated countless times through the series and yet they're funny every single time.
- The "Posada" episode: Mr. Barriga is sweeping the patio's floor, unaware that El Chavo is nearby, swinging a little piñata around in expanding circles, approaching inch by inch to unsuspecting Mr. Barriga's head... and then suddenly striking Quico, who was behind of El Chavo, off-screen.
- Quico and Ñoño ask Don Ramon about El Chavo.Don Ramon: He was here a minute ago... looking for a fat guy and an idiot.
Quico: He was looking for us!!!
- Quico and El Chavo are giving a bath to the latter's new dog (Which is named "Little Ramon"). So, when Quico turns, El Chavo accidentally brushes soap into the boy's shorts. Cue to his response:Quico: Chavo... I think I made a mistake.
- The episodes involving "El Festival de la Buena Vecindad", especially the cultural acts from the kids:
- The Poem/Story of "El perro arrepentido" ("The Regretful Dog") by El Chavo. Complete with overly dramatic gestures. This is also the only poem the kid knows, so it appears every time.
- The Last-Second Word Swap of Chilindrina when she gets stuck in her song."Soy virgencita / riego las flores / y lo que sigue / me se olvidó..." ("I'm a little virgin / I water the flowers / and what it follows / I just forgot")
- The "Sapito" (Lil' Froggy) song that Quico sings. The song is a cutesy frog-themed counting song (in the style of the "100 bottles of beer in the wall" travel song), setting a Overly Long Gag that only ends when someone intervenes around the sixth or seventh frog, leading to the answer:Quico: But if there is still about 100 froggies left!
- Quico trying to recite the poem "Madre Querida" ("Dearest Mother"). We say trying because El Chavo is The Heckler to his performance, constatly interrupting the very corny poem with hilarious parodic rhymes.
- Since the Brazilian dub runs on Woolseyism, we get hilarious exchanges like this: when El Chavo throws a shoe over the village, and once La Chilindrina comes looking, this happens:
- One memorable episode had Don Ramon teaching Chavo how to be a professional boxer. After a long sequence of trying to teach him how to assume a Boxer Guard Stance, he asks Chavo to throw him a punch, only for Chavo to immediately deck him square across the jaw, causing him to recoil back in pain. He admonishes Chavo, telling him to wait until he is in Guard Stance too. On the second attempt, once he's also in his boxer stance he asks Chavo to hit him. Chavo asks "how" to which Don Ramon replies "in any way you want". Cue Chavo delivering a powerful kick, right to his butt. After Don Ramon scolds him that in Boxing you're supposed to hit with your fists, Chavo immediately decks him square across the jaw once again. After Don Ramon for the second time tells him to wait until he's in his boxing stance too, and does so, he asks Chavo a third time to throw him a punch. Chavo does so, and Don Ramon expertly blocks it, and relaxes to try to explain Chavo how to block a punch. Only for Chavo to deck him square across the jaw once more. The icing on the cake is the short conversation that follows:El Chavo: I learned, right?
Don Ramon: So did I.
- Right before the Beach Episode, Chavo is sad that everyone went to Acapulco without him, standing alone in the vecindad, sad music worthy of a 40's Disney film starts playing, all seemingly setting up a Tear Jerker until Chavo throws his cup-and-ball in frustration... hitting Mr. Barriga.
- The Acapulco episode itself has them aplenty. Some highlights:
Chavo: Done?Quico: (breathing heavily) ... yeah, done.Chavo: Good (punches Quico out before he can run again)
- When Mr. Barriga and el Chavo arrive to the hotel, Chavo becomes a mess in trying to go through the revolving doors. When he finally enters the hotel's lobby, he's completely in a daze.
- Don Ramón trying to impress a woman in a bikini with a pose, and getting completely ignored.
- El Chavo and Quico start arguing over who of them is better at diving in a pool, so la Chilindrina offers to be the judge, using a chalkboard to show off the scores. She gives el Chavo 10 points and Quico 2.
- Then, Professor Jirafales shows up with a bunch of floating rings for Quico, because Doña Florinda told him he can't swim... right after he jumped into the pool.
- The "rescue" itself is a sight to behold. First, Jirafales accidentally pulls Don Ramón out of the water who complains "Can't one get some pleasant diving here?" before finally getting to Quico. Then when El Chavo comes back with Quico's inner tubes he says "Wouldn't it be better if you stand up?" As it turns out, the pool's water is only knee-deep.
- The poor waiter of the hotel's restaurant. First, Chavo stands up from his chair to call for an order, accidentally knocking the tray off the waiter's hands. The waiter goes to fetch a towel to clean up the mess... only to find a bigger one when el Chavo tips over the whole table everyone is eating at.
- After Quico mocks el Chavo for his destroyed sand castle, el Chavo angrily destroys Quico's, who promptly punches him in the face. Chavo then chases him around, on the way doing some stuff like stepping on Don Ramón and Mr. Barriga while they're buried in the sand, and snatching Doña Cleotilde's coat (causing her to feel embarrassed of being seen in that Old-Timey Bathing Suit she's wearing). Then Quico calls for a break so he can regain his breath.
"Step back! I'll save him!" (jumps into the water leaving her heels behind)
- Some of the characters get some funny Beach Bury gags. Professor Jirafales being no less than five meters long, Mr. Barriga having a large sand mount, and la Chilindrina being way shorter than she actually is.
- Quico decides to get a suntan, but forgets to remove his diving visor.
- At the end, everyone ends up being thrown into the pool. El Chavo grabs Quico's floating tubes and tosses them. But he accidentally grabs a coconut drink, hitting Don Ramón's head and causing him to fall into the pool too.
- And right immediately, Doña Cleotilde addresses the camera:
- One scene has Chavo in Quico's house, intending to steal some snacks at night. When Quico leaves the room through the left side of the screen, Chavo stands up and slowy walks towards the dinner table to the right. The moment he reaches the snacks, the camera suddenly reveals Quico was sitting by the table all along, wearing a glorious Death Glare. Chavo's reaction? Act like he's sleepwalking and take the snacks away anyway.
- All the times that Quico's uknowningly agrees to every thing said about his lack of intelligence.Quico: You're so dumb because you arrived late to the brains repartition.
El Chavo: So? What 'bout you?
Quico: Ha! Like I ever went! [cue Delayed Reaction]
- Quico's hammy reactions and exagerated gestures. Also, when he starts explaining something, gradually raising his voice, and shouts the last words at the top of his lungs.
(Quico has just finished shouting at someone else)Professor Girafales: (Calmly) Quico...Quico: WHAT?! note (Embarrassed) I mean, what can I do for you, dear teacher?
- The running gag where he accidentally answers shouting (mostly at Professor Girafales) just because he's irritated.
(After the kids kept mocking the professor and making dumb questions)Professor Girafales: Did you want information or were just looking for excuses to make fun of me?Chavo: Okay, but just don't get mad.Professor Girafales: I do get mad! (Turns to Quico) Quico!Quico: WHAT!Professor Girafales: IS YOUR MOTHER HOME?!Quico: WHO SHOULD I SAY IS CALLING?!Professor Girafales: I'M CALLING!Quico: YES, SHE IS!Professor Girafales: THANK YOU!Quico: YOU'RE WELCOME!
- There was one time when Girafales was so angry that he didn't mind about Quico screaming at him and just went along:
- One episode ended with Doña Florinda fainting when she saw a dead lizard. Just when the kids assume that she's "dead"; Profesor Jirafales walks in. Cue Profesor Jirafales giving a Big "NO!" similar to the one Superman gave in Superman: The Movie after discovering Lois Lane dead, complete with Jirafales doing Supes' Up, Up and Away! pose and the Superman theme playing. (Sadly, Jirafales doesn't fly away to reverse time.)
- How Quico punily first explained the circumstances behind his Disappeared Dad.Quico: ...and to my dad, who Rest In Fish.
Professor Girafales: Don't you mean to say "Rest in Peace"?
Quico: No, it's in fish, because a shark ate him.
- The pun is in its original language. Still funny.note
- Don Ramón once gave a Seinfeldian Conversation before pinching Quico.Don Ramón: If I pinch you, you are gonna call your mom.Quico: (totally adamant) Of course yes.Don Ramón: And if she comes. She is going to slap me in the face.Quico: Of course yes.Don Ramón: And that slap is going to produce me pain!Quico: Of course yes.Don Ramón: But, the pain of the slap won't help you recover from the pain of the pinch. Right?Quico: (totally worried) Of course not.Don Ramón: Worth It. (pinches Quico anyway)
- In an episode, Ñoño, Quico, Chilindrina and Chavo are telling each other riddles and jokes.
- First, Ñoño told one of the first ones to Quico:Ñoño: Hey Quico, do you know who is the son of my father and mother, but is not my brother?Quico: (thinks for a bit) No, who it is?Ñoño: Why, it's me!
- Which Quico then proceeded to tell Chavo:Quico: Hey Chavo, do you know who is the son of my father and mother, but is not my brother?Chavo: (thinks a bit) I don't know, who it is?Quico: Why it's Ñoño! Hahahahaha... (beat) He tells it better.Chavo: So your mother is married to Mr. Barriga?Quico: (beat)
- And then later to Chilindrina:Quico: (to the others) Haha, I'm gonna get her! (to Chilindrina) Hey Chilindrina, do you know who is the son of my father and—Chilindrina: You!Quico: (beat) Well, stay quiet and let me finish the whole riddle, okay? Now, who is the son of my father and mother, but—Chilindrina: You!Quico: (beat) Wait until I've finished THE WHOLE RIDDLE!!!!Chilindrina: Fine...Quico: Okay, who is the son of my father and mother but is not my brother?Chilindrina: (inflexible) You.Quico: (looks at the camera) Now how can we put up with these women?
- First, Ñoño told one of the first ones to Quico:
- "La Fuente de los Deseos" delivers this genious piece:Quico: I wish that all bulldozers in the world would run over la Chilindrina!!!Chilindrina: That won't happen! Because these wishes, the bad ones, never come true!Quico: Oh, really? I wish that someone would make la Chilindrina cry!! (Quico starts pulling her hair)Chilindrina: Owww!!! (starts crying) You'll see! I'm gonna tell my father that you've pulled my hair, and that you've kicked me, and that you've shot me with a slingshot, and that you've shot me with a handgun, and that you've shot me with a sniper rifle, and that you've shot me with a machine gun, and that you've shot me with a cannonball, and aside from that, YOU'VE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!Quico:: (looks at the camera) ...I'm really evil.
- When La Chilindrina first came back, her absence was explained in universe as that she was spending her holidays with some aunts in Guanajuato. Why is she back in the Vecindad, then?Chilindrina: Because my aunts didn't let me do anything! [...] If I wanted to play Jacks with the new tableware, it was "No!"... If I wanted to camp in the garden and use the salon rug as the tent, "No!"... If I wanted to lit up the TV with a match, "No!". Let me tell you that they didn't let me to make a domino game with the piano's keys... and with all the effort it took me to rip off all the keys from the piano...
- The very first scene of the 1977 version of "Jugando a la casita". El Chavo tells Quico he's going to buy a lollipop, and when Quico asks him how he got the money to buy one...El Chavo: What would you do if you found a peso you yourself lost?Quico: Return it to its owner.El Chavo: Don't be an idiot. I'm talking about if you found a peso that you yourself lost.Quico: ... Well, I'd buy a lollipop.El Chavo: That's what I'm going to do. I found a peso that you yourself lost.
- The ending of the "tronadores" note episode. El Chavo had hidden the bag of tronadores Chilindrina had stolen from her dad underneath his cap when he comes asking for them back. At the end, when Don Ramón is finally fed up, he goes off to hit El Chavo in the head for it. The funniest part is that the tronadores don't explode all at once, but one at the time, and they cause El Chavo to walk around shaking like a wind-up doll.
- Earlier in the episode, la Chilindrina is checking out the bags, grabs a tronador and throws it without warning. The boom causes Don Ramón to rip the newspaper he's reading in half, with the pages perfectly intact.
- "El Corto Circuito": Don Ramón invites El Chavo to watch a football match on TV, but when he tries to turn the thing on, it doesn't work.Don Ramón: And right now when the international football match is about to start! (grabs the TV) This is what happens when you buy second-hand stuff!! (smashes and stomps the TV, and then El Chavo and La Chilindrina enter the house)Chilindrina: Daddy? Dad?Don Ramón: WHAT?!Chilindrina: (sheepishly) Did you know that a while ago the power went out in the neighborhood?
- The Flying Saucer episode. Don Ramón has Chavo warn him about Mr. Barriga's arrival in the Vecindad with a "The Flying Saucer has arrived!" code word. At the same time, Quico is waiting for his mother to give him a toy flying saucer. Chaos follows. And of course, when Don Ramón finally gets sick of not knowing whether the flying saucer is there or gone, Mr. Barriga is standing right outside his window.
- The third episode of the "Don Ramón ropavejero" arc involves an scene where El Chavo and Quico play bowling with Don Ramón's bowling ball, as well as two bottles as pines. Quico manages to distract El Chavo during his turn, goes next to the bottles, throws the ball... and misses. The fact the actors that did not appear in the scene burst out laughing makes it even more hilarious.Quico: Notice I only missed two!
- In the episode "El Foco" from the 1975 season:
- Quico steals El Chavo's comics, who then gets angry and chases after him with a brick in hand. When Chavo spots Quico, he throws the brick, but since El Chavo is well known to have a bad aim, the bricks hits the lamp bulb on the entrance door of the venidad, shattering it. But the brick hits something else too...Quico: See what you did!?Chavo: It's just a lamp bulb!Quico: I'm not talking about the lamp bulb!Chavo: Then what?Quico: Take a look!(Don Ramón lies knocked out in the floor with the brick completely shattered over his body)Chavo: Oh my!
- Later, Don Ramón is trying to change the lamp bulb again. Chavo is playing with a baseball, which has a similar size in comparison with the lamp bulb. The result is predictable.(Chavo starts to play with his ball and Quico arrives in the scene)Quico: Just so you know, I have a bigger ball than yours!Chavo: I don't care!Quico: Don't care? I'm going to show to you, you'll see!Chavo: I don't want to see it!Don Ramón: Chavo. Give me the lamp bulb.(Chavo was about to give the lamp to Don Ramón but turns back to reply to Quico)Chavo:: My ball bounces more than yours!Don Ramón: (starting to get angry) Chavo! Give me the lamp bulb!(Chavo was about to give the lamp to Don Ramón but turns back to reply to Quico again)Chavo: ...and you don't know how to play! You don't know nothing! You are dumb!Don Ramón: (already angry) CHAVO! Give me the lamp bulb!Quico: (comes out holding his big ball) What did you say?(Chavo was about to give the lamp to Don Ramón but turns back to reply to Quico, for the third time)Chavo:: You don't know how to play you dumb!Don Ramón: (very angry) CHAAAVO! If you don't give me the lamp bulb I'll get off the barrel and punch your head off!El Chavo: (worried) No, no, here it is (accidentally gives the baseball to Don Ramón).Don Ramón: (starts to screw until he notices Chavo gave him the ball instead of the lamp bulb).El Chavo: (holding the lamp bulb) My ball is a lot better and bounces a lot more than yours!Don Ramón: Careful, Chavo, don't go breaking the lamp-(El Chavo throws the lamp bulb in the floor, shattering it)El Chavo: (worried) Oh my.
- The scene right after, Don Ramón finally gets to replace the bulb without a hitch, gets off the barrel and says this to El Chavo:Don Ramón: Now try and break it again with the broomstick. (starts walking away)El Chavo:: Let's see if I can.Don Ramón:: (suddenly stops and looks at the camera) What did he say?! (El Chavo breaks the bulb off-screen)El Chavo: (cheerfully) Yes, I could!
- At the end of the episode, Don Ramón has finally put the light bulb in place and sits on top of the upturned barrel he's been using to try and screw it all along. Then La Chilindrina asks him how is he going to stop el Chavo from breaking it again.Don Ramon: You tell her how, Chavo!El Chavo: (From inside the barrel) They don't have patience with me!
- Quico steals El Chavo's comics, who then gets angry and chases after him with a brick in hand. When Chavo spots Quico, he throws the brick, but since El Chavo is well known to have a bad aim, the bricks hits the lamp bulb on the entrance door of the venidad, shattering it. But the brick hits something else too...
- The 1979 version of the "La clase de historia" episode features this gem when the topic was the history of Mexico:Prof. Jirafales: Let's see, Chilindrina... who destroyed Tenochtitlan?Chilindrina: (Feeling she's being accused) It was not me...Prof. Jirafales: What?Chilindrina: (Bursting into tears) I swear it was not me, professor. I wasn't even there when it was destroyed! (Starts crying)Prof. Jirafales: But I only asked you who destroyed Tenochtitlan!(El Chavo raises his hand)Prof. Jirafales: Let's see, Chavo...Chavo: (Stands up) Professor, I know La Chilindrina very well and if she says she didn't destroy it it's because it was not her.Chilindrina: (Still crying) Thank you, Chavo... (Stands up, kisses El Chavo and both hug each other)
- Godínez's answers to what he's asked about in the classroom. An example:Prof. Jirafales: Godínez, how many parts is the human skull divided in?Godínez: Depends on how much you clubbed it.
- Similarly, another time when Godínez finally gets an answer right ("Which are the five continents?") and claiming he memorized it. This left Profesor Jirafeles amazed... until he starts answering almost every question with "Europe, Asia, Africa, America and Oceania!".
- The show even had a few bloopers that made it into the episodes, yet still managed to make the scenes funnier:
- After getting the usual slap from Doña Florinda, Don Ramón accidentally throws his hat into the house right when Quico closes the door. He quickly knocks so they open it for him to retrieve it, and Quico plays along chasing him out after he does.
- In the "Don Ramón ropavejero" arc, Doña Florinda finally snaps and decides that she's gonna confiscate Don Ramón's sack. In this scene obviously she was supposed to hit Quico with the sack after lifting it up, but she lifted it too high, and accidentally knocked Quico's hat off his head. You have to see his face afterwards.
- In one of the "Guerra de la independencia" episodes, La Chilindrina is trying to stop El Chavo from throwing confetti at her so she starts turning around... but at one point, her glasses fly away. When El Chavo approaches Quico, the latter is suddenly wearing La Chilindrina's glasses, and explains what happened.
- In general, there are plenty of scenes where the cast either hide or lower their faces because they themselves can't help but laugh.
- "El Juicio al Chavo" can basically count as how everything can go wrong in courtroom proceedings, ranging from Don Ramón trying but not knowing how to use The Perry Mason Method or failing to win the "case" through lies because El Chavo never got the idea, to Doña Florinda failing to paint El Chavo running over Quico's cat as an intentional murder (because she did not word her questions well). Then there's the ending, where El Chavo explains what really happened:El Chavo: I was going on the bicycle when I was suddenly distracted because there was a very beautiful woman in the streets. (El Profesor Jirafales, who was the "judge", tries to stare somewhere else)Don Ramón: Hold it, Chavo. It's alright that we men get distracted by beautiful ladies... but a kid?
El Chavo: No! I wasn't distracted due to the beautiful woman. I was distracted because of a man that was stuck like an idiot in the middle of the road staring at the beautiful lady. So I ran over the cat to dodge the man that was stuck like an idiot in the middle of the road staring at the beautiful lady.(El Chavo approaches El Profesor Jirafales)
El Chavo: Should I tell them who that man was?
Prof. Jirafales: No, there's no need for that.
El Chavo: Don't you want me...
Prof. Jirafales: I declare El Chavo not guilty and the court is adjourned!
Don Ramón: Yes, it is true that El Chavo ran over the cat, but did it out of fear. Chilindrina, what did the cat do to Chavo before he ran it over?
- This otherwise-already-funny episode goes Up to Eleven if one crosses it over with Ace Attorney
- This exchange dserves a mention:
La Chilindrina: It bit him.
Don Ramón: And what did it do ten minutes later?
La Chilindrina: It bit him again.
Don Ramón: And five minutes later?
La Chilindrina: It bit him again.
Don Ramón: How do you call this?
La Chilindrina: Re-biting!note
*Everyone starts yelling and arguing*
- During the previous episode, we get the following exchange after The Reveal that El Chavo had run over Quico's cat:
Prof. Jirafales: Silence! If we keep arguing like this, we'll stay here until it gets dark!
La Chilindrina: (eloquently) No, rather: from discussion, light is born!
Doña Florinda: You were saying, Professor...?
Prof. Jirafales: I was thinking-
La Chilindrina: What a miracle!
Prof. Jirafales: Tá-tá-tá-tá-tá! Is this the kind of education they teach you at home?!
La Chilindrina: No, this one, I learned at school.
Prof. Jirafales: Oh, thank goodn- What?!
Don Ramón: (after spending the whole exchange laughing in the background) Chilindrina, please! What kind of respect is this with Professor Jirafales? Take in mind that no matter what, he's your teacher!
Prof. Jirafales: Hold on, hold on, listen! What do you mean when you say "no matter what"?
Don Ramón: That you continue from where you've been interrupted. You were thinking...
Prof. Jirafales: (dumbfounded) I was? When?
Don Ramón: (beat) You said that.
- In the 4th part of "Las Nuevas Vecinas," Gloria tries defending El Chavo from Don Ramón's accusation that he's responsible for everything bad that happens by telling on La Chilindrina. La Chilindrina then retaliates with this:
- In one episode, Chilindrina calls Don Ramon "Measles" after he hit El Chavo, because "Measles only hit little kids!". Later, when Doña Florinda hits Don Ramón, she calls her "Rehumatism". "Because rheumatism only hits the elderly!"
- Every time Quico accidentally acknowledges his own idiocy. Some notable examples are:
- In "El alumno más inteligente", after Quico mocks Ñoño for being fat...Ñoño: And I don't answer back because I don't like arguing with an idiot.
Quico: The one that is arguing with an idiot IS YOU! ''(proudly looks away until he realizes what he said)
- Twice in the second part of "Pintando la vecindad", during an exchange between La Chilindrina and Profesor Jirafales. In both cases, he eventually realizes about what he said:La Chilindrina: El Chavo is so infuriating! He's capable of making the most stupid kid in the world get angry!
Quico: (who was cleaning the front door of his home) Yeah, me.
Profesor Jirafales: There are no stupid kids, Chilindrina. There are people who are more intelligent and there are people who are less intelligent.
La Chilindrina: And where do you place Quico?
Quico: Yeah, Professor! Where do you place me?
- In "La casa de la bruja", La Chilindrina asks El Chavo and Quico to help her deliver a newspaper to Doña Clotilde, but they are scared about what they may find out:La Chilindrina: We need to think a plan.
Quico: (worried) Me too?
La Chilindrina: No, Quico. I cannot ask you for impossibles.
Quico: (relieved) Ah, thank goodness.
- In "El alumno más inteligente", after Quico mocks Ñoño for being fat...
- In the second half of "Los cuentos de terror", El Chavo and La Chilindrina use a bed sheet and a mask to pretend to be a ghost and a monster and scare everyone in the vecindad. This has several gems:
- Doña Clotilde being the only one that realizes who the "ghost" actually is, and even plays The Comically Serious by stealing the bed sheet from El Chavo (as he had his eyes closed) to scare him.
- Doña Florinda faints upon seeing El Chavo as the ghost. Later, once she starts to regain conciousness, La Chilindrina arrives with her monster mask on and Doña Florinda faints again.
- When La Chilindrina arrives with her mask on, El Chavo gets the garrotera. Later, when La Chilindrina explains that she is using a mask, El Chavo asks her to take it off. While El Chavo looks for his bed sheet, La Chilindrina takes the mask off, but then El Chavo says she is still wearing it.
- At the end, El Chavo and La Chilindrina have the bed sheet and the mask taken away, but El Chavo found something scarier - a photo of Doña Florinda. He then shows it to Quico, La Chilindrina and himself, and they all faint.
- From the barber episode (1976), El Chavo cuts off La Chilindrina's hair and she starts wailing as usual. What sells it is that she starts picking hair off the ground and then she says "My hair, my pretty- Oh crud, this one ain't mine!" in a complete normal tone, then she resumes wailing.
- During an episode from '97, La Chilindrina switches two letters: one was meant to be a romantic poem for Doña Florinda written by Professor Jirafales, and the other was meant to be a meat order from Don Ramón. Doña Florinda reads the meat order as Professor Jirafales comments that's how he imagines her, and Chavo reads the romantic poem all wrong.El Chavo: I present you this pistol in order to make you stupid the hill sons behind my three pest grails. For prince of fairytales, I shall maim thee brute, gonions arlic, and in your cow, fire teeths. That's why, I warm you in this leather that you keep the wine that I manly do love too.note
- At the end one of the school episodes, Professor Jirafales tells the kids to pick up their books, an proceeds to give this speech:"As long as you hold a book in your hands, you'll be good people. Never let go of the books. As long as you hold a book in your hands, you'll be great, hard-working people. In other words, as long as you hold a book in your hands, you'll be like me. [Cue everyone dropping the books]
- This exchange happens in a few episodes after Doña Clotilde is called a witch by Quico in Doña Florinda's presence:Doña Florinda: Treasure, how many times have I told you to not judge people based on their physical aspects?
Doña Clotilde: What?! If I look like a witch to you, then I'll let you know you look like a roundworm with anemia to me!
- Later on, Doña Florinda knocks on her door and calls her a witch to her face in retaliation. Doña Clotilde then goes back inside her house, but El Chavo arrives a couple of seconds later, and when he knocks at her door, she responds with this:Doña Clotilde: YOU ROUNDWORM WITH ANEMIA!
El Chavo: Witch! (beat) You're the one who started!
- Later on, Doña Florinda knocks on her door and calls her a witch to her face in retaliation. Doña Clotilde then goes back inside her house, but El Chavo arrives a couple of seconds later, and when he knocks at her door, she responds with this:
- Quico complaining at the Running Gag of El Profesor Jirafales giving Doña Florinda a bouquet of flowers, and the latter offering a cup of coffee.
- Speaking of said Running Gag there was once a memorable scene where Don Ramón mimicked, in the most mocking way possible, the entire scene where Profesor Jirafales meets Doña Florinda. The two are so lovestruck they didn't even notice Don Ramón making fun of them.
- And to make it worse, he continues to do so after they leave. Cue Doña Clotilde showing up, right when he says "Come to my arms waiting for you passionately!"
- This exchange shows up in quite a few episodes, right after La Chilindrina stops El Chavo from punching Quico:La Chilindrina: Chavo, don't! Don't try to hit Quico with your fists! (picks up a brick from the ground) Use the brick instead, it's better!
- There's an episode where the theme of "Loving one's enemies" is touched upon. Quico comes to show off a soda pop he bought just to make Chavo angry. This exchange ensues:Chavo: And I don't hit you just because good people should love their enemies.Quico: But I'm not your enemy. I'm your friend.Chavo: Should have said it before! (punches Quico out and takes his soda)
- The American Football episode, full stop:
Chavo: [checking behind Ñoño] No, it's not what we thought. Just his pants ripped open.
- When doing the warmup exercises, Ñoño refuses to do one by crouching down, saying that he can't. Professor Jirafales insists that he does, and when Ñoño crouches...
Don Ramón: Now, hit me.
- Don Ramón's attempt to teach Chavo how to do a defensive tackle.
Chavo: For what?
Don Ramón: Just hit me, I'll tell you later.
Chavo: [punches Don Ramón in the face]
Don Ramón: I meant that you tackled me like in the game, not that you PUNCH ME!
Chavo: Well, you didn't explain.
"Well, Ron Damón didn't have any use for it. But we've already gotten him some new equipment." [cue Don Ramón being brought strapped to a stretcher, breathing with an oxigen mask and an oxigen tank]
- With Godínez it didn't go any better. First, Don Ramón tries to tackle him and Godínez jumps over him to dodge, making him fall flat on his face. Then Don Ramón tries to get some payback by daring Godínez to tackle him now... and somehow Godínez ends up taking Don Ramón's pants off of him.
- At the end, after la Chilindrina scores a touchdown, she tosses the ball at Don Ramón, who is too busy congratulating her that he can't defend himself when the kids all dogpile on him for the ball. So, when they're back at the vecindad, Mr. Barriga comments that he went through the trouble to get them the football equipment for nothing. Chavo's answer:
- In the episode of Don Ramón at school, he briefly takes over for Professor Jirafales while he's outside chatting with Doña Florinda. When Jirafales comes back to the classroom, Don Ramón has the full attention of the students, by giving them a rather dramatic lecture about the meaning of a skull and crossbones symbol:Don Ramón: Okay, let's assume this here is a skull. (beat) BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?! (beat) A pirate flag? NO! A graveyard's notice? Nope. This skull here means DANGER! You've heard me! DAN-GER!
Don Ramón: (after splitting "Quico" in half) What do we have here, Chavo?
- Then to illustrate, he proceeds to act what happens when you drink of a poisoned bottle, or touch electric cables without protection, complete with overplaying his death and milking it for all it's worth. Even Professor Jirafales is impressed and gives him a "Bravo!" while clapping enthusiastically.
- A bit later, he tries to teach el Chavo about fractions, but he decides to make up an example of Quico being run over (and split) repeatedly by a train. Both Chavo's responses and Quico acting like he's actually being run over are priceless:
Chavo: A funeral.
Don Ramón: Now let's imagine the train splits "Quico" again. What do we have here?
Chavo: Now we have a funeral.
- From the episode where Don Ramón works as a carpenter, when Chavo tries to defend La Chilindrina:Chavo: Why (do you want to beat Quico up)?
La Chilindrina: Because he keeps telling everybody I'm a midget.
Chavo: Ah, don't make such a big deal about that. Quico's just a parrot that keeps repeating what everyone else says.
La Chilindrina: (nods, then realises what he just said)
Chavo: Look, next time he calls you short, grab him and headbutt him in the knee!
La Chilindrina: (stares at him in disbelief)
Chavo: Because you're only as short as I am stupid.
La Chilindrina: ...So that means I'm a germ?!?