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Fanfic / The Conversion Bureau: Worlds Where It Wouldn't Work

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An Anthology series written by Sora2455, detailing different scenarios where The Conversion Bureau goes to another world, only to be humiliated and/or destroyed. The series stars Xlestia, an alternate version of Celestia, based on the popular Fanon Persona Tyrantlestia. In each chapter, Xlestia leads Equestia into a quest to convert a different fictional world, only to be foiled by any number of things.


It can be found here.

There is also a sequel by another author called The Conversion Bureau: More Worlds Where It Wouldn't Work.

In celebration of the fan made sequel and his TV Tropes page, the author added one more World Suggestions chapter.

This fic contains the following tropes:

  • Affectionate Parody: The Series Finale is one of DEATH BATTLE!.
  • Alas, Poor Villain: Xlestia occasionally. Especially in SCP Foundation, where the entire pony race is wiped out and Xlestia is left in an And I Must Scream state while the Foundation studies/experiments on her.
    • Also, A.I. Celestia, who could only stand and watch as Xlestia slings the sun at her, before deciding to spend her last moments serving humanity after realizing there is no course of action to take.
  • Anti-Magic: Touma's Imagine Breaker makes him immune to ponyfication and allows him to reverse the process on others. He even broke the barrier!
  • Anti-Villain: Xlestia is genuinely-however misguided-trying to do what she thinks is best. The problem is, she is too consumed by Fantastic Racism and her own self-righteous attitude to even consider that she may be in the wrong.
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  • Ask a Stupid Question...: When Token Minion (in the Boss Rush chapter) mentions that she was captured by Changelings, Xlestia asks how she escaped. Token just raises an eyebrow at this as Xlestia realizes what's going on.
  • The Bad Guy Wins: A few chapters end like this. This is usually when other villains pull an Eviler Than Thou.
    • Special note goes to the "Boss Rush" chapter, which involves every canon villain (at the time of writing) winning. The author then goes on to say that this is based on canon- despite the Physical God nature of Xlestia that is usually ascribed to her, the canon version tends to lose once a season.
    • The Warhammer 40k episode has Xlestia technically win, in that she assimilated every one of twelve billion humans on a hive world. The two flies in that ointment are that the Imperium is so vast that twelve billion humans really doesn't matter, and the planet (and all the ponies) are eaten by the Hive Fleets a few weeks later anyway.
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  • Big Bad: Xlestia, except in the chapters where other villains knock her down a couple notches.
  • Bigger on the Inside: Megatron uses a pretender suit of a pegasus to get close to Xlestia in the Transformers world. Keep in mind that he's a colossal Mechanical Lifeform and ponies are around three feet tall.
  • Butt-Monkey: Oddly enough Xlestia, as the whole series is focused on her not only failing miserably in conquest but occasionally getting Equestria destroyed as well.
  • Continuity Cavalcade: The "Death Battle" is full of these to both the show and Expanded Universe.note 
  • Crossover: Each chapter is one with a different world.
    • Although several are with worlds that aren't established fictional worlds, such as worlds where it deconstructs how it would work in the real world, or when Equestria is sent to Neptune.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: The story is full of these happening to Xlestia, particularly:
    • A terminator! Pony casually snaps her neck.
    • Adam West Batman.
    • In a more tragic example, Equestria was apparently the victim of one against the SCP Foundation.
    • In the Justice League universe, Xlestia is left hiding under her covers knowing an off screen one is waiting for her as soon as the League’s magic experts take down the barrier. Batman makes sure she knows this.
    • Equestria vs. the Gas Giant Planet Neptune.
    • The Mane Six are also on the receiving end of one courtesy of Kakashi, who easily dispatches all of them at once.
    • The Mane Six and Sonic and friends vs. Eggman's Mooks. Those poor robots.
    • In The Red World, Lina and company absolutely level Canterlot.
    • Xlestia finally gets to be on the other side of this when she goes up against the Wizard of Oz.
  • Deconstruction: Done to The Conversion Bureau to varying extents.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: In the first Straightforward Failures chapter, when Xlestia visits Canterlot High, she ponifies Principal Celestia... and the principal turns into an exact copy of her. Xlestia realizes there's no point in ponifying this world since they'd just have doubles of everyone, and the Equestrians go home.
  • Determinator: After Friendship is Optimal Celestia makes it clear that Xlestia cannot win, Xlestia's solution is to fling the sun at her, destroying both worlds and then looking for a new planet to start over on and just go to Tartarus to retrieve her subjects after she is done.
    • Both Canon!Celestia and Tyrantlestia are this in their Death Battle.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: The Terminator that Neck Snaps Xlestia.
  • Didn't Think This Through: After defeating Xlestia, Nightmare Moon realizes she doesn't know how to bring eternal night to a round planet.
  • Downer Ending: Most of the ones where The Bad Guy Wins are this or at least implied to be this.
  • Elite Mook: Discussed note  while battling Eggman’s copies of the heroes.
  • Epic Fail: Basically the whole point of the series.
    • There's a chapter where Twilight is tasked with developing the conversion potion by testing various formulas on human TCB supporters. Hilarity Ensues.
      • The cherry on top? Twilight, who is unaware that Xlestia is responsible for the whole thing, reveals to Xlestia that she also made a cure for when the barrier ordeal finally blows over.
    • In Warhammer 40K, the Imperium doesn't even notice the planet Celestia invaded, and Neo-Equestria gets gobbled up by a hive fleet a week later.
    • Then there's the chapter when Xlestia transports Equestria to Neptune, per reader request. Not the Roman God, also known as Poseidon, but the planet. This is totally on accident. Half of Equestria aspyhxiates from lack of oxygen before Equestria is crushed by the atmospheric pressure.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Xlestia may be a racist and manipulative jerk, whose idea of "saving" humanity is giving them the choice of death or conversion, but even she's horrified that an alternate version of herself would lead the ponies into an open war with the humans.
    • Less horrified, more frustrated that her alternate was so blatant in her takeover plans that it rendered her own, much more subtle takeover plan impossible.
    • She is also disgusted by the Fall of Equestria universe, where all the female ponies are forced into being Sex Slaves.
    • Xlestia abandons her plans once the Enterprise crew informs her that the humans had achieved Utopian society and went on to become a founding member of The United Federation of Planets. note 
    • Played with in the "Death Battle" Series Finale, where Tyrantlestia is disgusted with Celestia's use of Dark Magic. But unlike the other examples, Celestia is portrayed as the wiser for having the knowledge to use dark magic responsibly instead of denouncing its use as evil. It also shows Tyrantlestia's hypocritical side after she uses dark magic in a fit of rage, while still acting as if she is still on morally high ground.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Xlestia still cares deeply for her subjects.
    • Best shown after the Edolas Army turns the tables on Equestira by converting the ponies into magical crystals to use as a power source. Xlestia is beyond pissed and immediately shows that she isn't going down without a fight.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Xlestia genuinely cannot understand why humans wouldn't want to embrace conversion.
  • Eviler Than Thou:
    • Skynet quickly identifies Xlestia's technology-destroying barrier as a threat to its existence and sends a Terminator to assassinate her. It's able to quickly snap her neck and go back to where it came from.
    • Megatron takes offense at Xlestia's attempt to take over Earth because he already claimed it. Using a Space Bridge to bypass the barrier and a Pretender Shell of a pegasus to infiltrate Equestria, he's able to grab the Alicorn and fire his Arm Cannon on her at point-blank range.
    • Celest-A.I. removes the free will of all the ponies from Equestria and uses the unicorns to take down the barrier, forcing Xlestia to go on the run. Xlestia is able to turn the tables by hurling the sun toward Earth.
    • Eggman uses the Chaos Emeralds to power a machine that breaks the barrier, reverse-engineers said barrier so it kills anything organic that tries entering while leaving machines alone, and Roboticizes Xlestia.
    • The king of Edolas sends an army into Equestria to convert the inhabitants into magic-storing crystals. He also shows up in person wielding the mechanical dragon Dorma Anim, which has armor capable of no-selling magic.
    • The Boss Rush chapter has every canon antagonist (at the time of the writing) performing their canon feat of defeating Celestia.
  • Face Death with Dignity: Upon seeing Xlestia hurling the sun at her, in the first Straightforward Failures chapter, A.I. Celestia only briefly tries to search for a solution, before realising it is hopeless and immediately decides to spend her last few moments continuing with her main objective: satisfying the human race.
  • Fantastic Racism: Xlestia, and to a lesser extent the other ponies, believe humanity should be converted because they are a savage and self-destructive race. More than one being calls them out on this view.
  • Fatal Flaw: Mentioned and acted upon in the Death Battle series finales, where the announcers claim Tyrantlestia's only true weaknesses are her own Pride and the fatal flaw of most villain characters: over confidence.
  • Gender Bender: Accidental example during one of Twilight's potion tests.
  • Gosh Darn It to Heck!: The opening of the Friendship is Optimal segment has Xlestia doing this.
  • Gilligan Cut: The story uses these a lot.
  • Groin Attack: Xlestia's plan for dealing with the Fall of Equestria (a squicktacular S&M Dark Fantasy verse) is to issue magic scalpels. They're enchanted to cauterize whatever they cut, and she orders her troops to emasculate any mind-controlled stallions or stags they encounter.
  • Heel–Face Turn:
    • Both Xlestia and Twilight are implied to do this after Eggman gives the ponies a taste of their own medicine in the Mobius chapter.
    • Xlestia also, during one of the World Suggestion chapters, abandons her Evil Plan after the Enterprise crew manages to talk her down.
  • Irony: The Pokémon defeating Equestria with The Power of Friendship!
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Xlestia derides science as "A grown-up version of guess-and-check." Atomic Robo starts to contradict her before admitting that that's basically correct.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Xlestia being Robotisized by Dr. Eggman in “Mobius” and being controlled by the Heartless, before being turned to stone by the Elements of Harmony.
  • The Man Behind the Man: The president, in the "If I wrote Conversion Bureau" chapter, suspects that some force (or intelligent being) of Equestria's native world deliberately engineered the world so that not only was friendship beneficial, but also a survival trait (once Windigoes start showing up on Earth).
  • Mauve Shirt: Token Minion appears throughout the story.
    • This status is subverted in the Transformers chapter, where she is replaced by a Decepticon infiltrator. This leads to a big Oh, Crap! moment. It's also subverted when she's replaced by Chrysalis.
  • Meaningless Villain Victory: Played for Laughs in Nightmare Moon's segment of "Boss Rush".
    Nightmare Moon: How am I going to create eternal night on a round world!?
  • Meet Your Early Installment Weirdness: One particular Straightforward Failure sees Xlestia crossing paths with the Celestia from the original fanfic. That Celestia is practically shocked when Xlestia brings up mass conversion and genocide, and is offended that Xlestia wants to use the Barrier to destroy all resistance. In the original story, Celestia was benevolent, had come to Earth on accident, and the Barrier was something that she had no control over. In fact, Celestia refuses an offer of a spell to transport Equestria back home in order to defend the world she's stuck on from Xlestia!
  • Mood Whiplash: Most of the first Straightforward Failure chapter is hilarious, until you get to the finale section. note 
  • Negative Continuity: Events in one chapter have no effect on the others.
  • Obliviously Evil: Twilight and the other Elements are unaware of Xlestia's Face–Heel Turn and serve her plans out loyalty.
    • Taken to its logical conclusion once Twilight is instructed to distribute the Potion... so naturally, she starts testing it until she finds a way to remove all the negative aspects of the Potion, as well as come up with an antidote and a Human Potion (to Celestia's dismay).
  • Odd Friendship: In the Sonic chapter, Kunckles and Applejack manage to bond over their complaints over their respective friends not understanding that their job requires a lot of effort, and that there's no one else who can do it, so no, they don't have a lot of time to go and have parties or save the world, dang it!
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Kakashi defeating the Main Six is never shown, just them lying beaten on the ground.
    • Also, at least of couple of Equestria's defeats are never shown, but implied to be very one sided.
  • Oh, Crap!:
    • Everyone has this when Discord meets Q.
    • The Sonic universe gives Xlestia one since the existence of multiple sentient races means that her propaganda won't work.
    • Xlestia gets one when she realizes that Atomic Robo managed to distort the barrier about a millimeter. As he says, it did almost nothing, but it did something, and understanding how it did that makes breaking the barrier go from "Impossible," to "Insanely Difficult," and with enough time, maybe even "Hard."
  • Oh, No... Not Again!: The reaction that the United Nations has when Xlestia gives her speech about the danger of the barrier. Xlestia is confused when, instead of panicking and begging for a way to be spared the fate, they all start grumbling about having to go to, once again, the mad scientists of Tesladyne to save the world with science.
  • Other Me Annoys Me: A Twofer when she shows up in the The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum universe. For one, Xlestia is infuriated that the evil Equestria from that series basically ruined all her plans to infiltrate subtly by launching an all out invasion. Further, the good Equestria from that setting would certainly try to stop her as well. But the second main example is the confusion. There are four Twilight Sparkles trying to explain the history of the world, and Xlestia is just annoyed at her other selves for putting her in a situation so complex it gives her a migraine to understand.
  • Physical God: Xlestia.
  • The Power of Friendship: Equestia gets hit with this, by the Pokémon universe.
    • This gets turned on Xlestia two more times, in both the Sonic the Hedgehog and Kingdom Hearts 'verses, after being robotisized and brainwashed by Eggman in the former and turned into a Heartless in the later, by the Elements of Harmony no less.
    • This is what ultimately does Tyrantlestia in during her death battle with Canon!Celestia. As Celestia herself put it, she put too much emphasis on the harmony part, while forgetting the true power of the elements.
  • Reality Warper:
    • Discord, natch. In one scene he drinks the only prototype of the Potion and the plant next to him turns into a pegasus.
    • Haruhi manages to convert Equestria into a peaceful island nation of humans who have a penchant for horse breeding- because she believes that Santa exists but not unicorns.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
    • Aslan gives one to Xlestia, after she makes the mistake of invading Narnia, by throwing her hypocritical philosophy in her face.
    Aslan: ...only one with no faults of their own is truly capable of cleansing another of their sins.
    • A.I. Celestia also gives her one, through Luna. It doesn't work out so well for her.
    • In the DEATH BATTLE! finale of the story, Celestia is receiving a brutal No-Holds-Barred Beatdown from her Tyrantlestia counterpart, who declares that she is an unworthy weakling who is unfit to rule or wield the power of the Elements of Harmony. Celestia's response?
    Celestia: That very thought proves you are not worthy of their power. (cue Celestia reminding Tyrantlestia of said true power)
    • Saitama of One-Punch Man gives her one as well, after she claims to be humanity's "savior":
    Saitama: So what do you do?
    Xlestia: What do I do?
    Saitama: You know. To save people.
    Xlestia: (arches her eyebrow) I turn them into ponies.
    Saitama: Eh? How does that help?
    Xlestia: It means they can forget their old life, and start a new one, a better one, in the magical land of Equestria. (places a hoof on her chest and closes her eyes, looking utterly sincere)
    Saitama: But... doesn't that make you a terrible hero?
    Xlestia: (her mane bursts into flames, before she regains her composure and puts on a forced smile) Why do you think that?
    Saitama: Being a hero means dealing with the problems at hand. But deleting their save file and forcing them to play again from the start? That's giving up on saving them before you've even started!
    Xlestia: (loses her composure and bursts in flames) You dare
    Saitama: I only do this as a hobby. But even I know better than that. You sure you're ready for the big time?
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!:
    • Aslan gives her a devastating one, after she tries to justify her attempts to convert humanity.
    • When Robotizised Xlestia tries to convince the remaining heroes that Robotizisation isn't so bad, Sonic has this to say:
    Sonic: Yeah, it might not be so bad. The original robotizer was a medical machine, wasn't it? But, there's just one little problem... The day I take orders from Eggman is the day I hang up my running shoes forever!
  • Shout-Out:
    • Aperture Science is apparently one of Mann Co's main competitors, as the Spy quotes Cave Johnson's "throwing Science at the wall" line from Portal 2.
    • In "What I actually think would happen", someone shows the ponies Ghostbusters (1984). This leads to a scene where the Mane Six use magical traps and proton packs to capture Windigos.
      "Pinkie, no! Don't cross the streams!"
  • Spanner in the Works: The inhabitants of whatever world Xlestia is trying to invade, in various ways.
  • Surprisingly Realistic Outcome:
    • When Commander Shepard confronts Xlestia, he points out that even if the ponification process does wipe out Reaper Indoctrination- which that's not a guarantee- the Reapers have the technology and power to simply kill the sun of Neo-Equestria, or blow up a Mass Relay, which would either pop the bubble and kill them all, or blow up the rest of the world that Neo-Equestria was on, which would also kill them all. The follow-up codex entry then reveals that despite the supposed prowess of Magic, Equestrians did very little in the Reaper War, since their standing armed forces were only around ten thousand individuals whose primary weapons were spears and arrows. The best they could provide was "Safe Zones," which are basically versions of the Barrier specifically tuned to stop Reaper tech... but since only an alicorn can make one, and it takes time, only four ponies can make one at a time and are thus heavily guarded.
    • Any attempt by Xlestia to try and take over a humanity that is spacefaring... ends poorly. Not even because they can bring superior firepower, but because in most cases they have options Xlestia can't really counter. The citizens of the UNSC just leave, the Culture doesn't care as they live in space for the most part, the Imperium of Man doesn't even notice one of their planets being taken over, and Star Trek already has things like matter replicators and amazing health care, so there's no real need for Ponification.
    • While Xlestia is usually depicted as all-powerful, the Boss Rush stage takes a moment to point out that her canon self loses... kind of a lot.
  • Take That!:
    • One of the worlds Xlestia ends up on is the Fall Of Equestria world. Upon seeing it, she orders her followers to take every male in that world and "convert" them into mares.
    • The Boss Rush stage points out that despite what fanon might claim about Tyrantlestia, canon Celestia loses pretty badly about once a season. Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Discord, and Tirek all handed her her flank in canon, and pull a repeat.
  • Taking You with Me: After A.I. Celestia gives her a "The Reason You Suck" Speech through brainwashed!Luna and realizes there is no way of beating them, Xlestia responds by hurling the sun at the planet and killing everyone. Subverted, as Xlestia survives and plans on rebuilding Equestia, once she has found a suitable new home.
  • Talking the Monster to Death: Dumbledore manages to simply talk Xlestia out of the whole thing. The luck potion he took helped.
  • Tempting Fate: Applejack, in the Sonic chapter, mocks the Fluttershy-bot by asking if it's going to try to Stare her down. Fluttershy-bot decides to comply. Via Frickin' Laser Beams.
  • There Can Be Only One: A comedic example in Equestia Girls universe, when Xlestia decides to leave after realizing they would just get double of everypony.
  • Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: The finale chapter is a Death Battle between Canon!Celestia and Fanon!Tyrantlestia. A decently written character beats a poorly written Sue.
  • Villain Protagonist: Xlestia, as a large amount of the story is from her POV.
  • Villainous Valor: Xlestia puts up a truly admirable fight, after the Edolas army invades Canterlot. Everywhere she went, the enemy had to fall back and her troops were rallied to fight on. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough.
  • Villain with Good Publicity: Xlestia is still loved throughout Equestria due to the inhabitants not being fully aware of her plans.
    • In worlds where she shows up with other TCB universes already in progress, she shows disdain at the Celestias who throw this away right off the bat. Her plan is to infiltrate and slowly take over until it's too late to do anything, using this trope to her advantage, to throw such an advantage away is silly in her eyes.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: Xlestia's mostly just misguided and only doing what she perceives as helping save humanity from itself.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Where did Spike go? It is sadly common for many Fan Fics to ignore him, but this is especially weird, because he had not only appeared, but was fighting alongside the Mane Six in one chapter, before disappearing from the story.
    • He briefly reappeared in the Slayers chapter
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Aslan gives Xlestia an epic one, full of Tranquil Fury.