The Twenty-ninth of October, 1898: Violence is the only language the savage understands. Through duress and intimidation, we have gleaned information pertinent to Mr. Dark's quarry - a "na nsi ya ntotila" or "under kingdom"; a place where nothing ever truly dies.
The Eighth of November, 1898: We have discovered a tribe of pygmies, untouched by the civilizing influence of Christendom. They were subjugated with ease and after making an example of their chief, the rest readily bent to our will.
Emo Teen: SCP-1699 which is a sentient active volcano with this personality. It's depressed because it feel it doesn't measure up to other natural disasters.
SCP-353 has been turning into this, thanks to her confinement. A fitting punishment. The Foundation shrinks also note her manipulation of diseases causes her great harm and pain, and she does it anyway - similar to a self-harming teenager.
The End of the World as We Know It: A distressingly large number of SCP objects can cause this, to the point where the Foundation is actively predicting and categorizing the different ways the world can end, using the (fictional) ''K-Class" classification system. note Remember that there is no canon. This list is purely for providing general examples and descriptions of explicitly identified scenarios. For more comprehensive lists (of equally dubious reliability), please refer to this link and this discussion thread.:
AK-Class Madness scenario: When humanity suffers a mental block on normal activity on a scale massive enough to totally disrupt the lives of those affected. SCP-1101 has the potential to create such a runaway scenario if a containment breach allows a chain-reaction of people to become exposed to the anomaly, join the debate, and begin to draw other people into the anomaly. SCP-571 and the viral memetic property that gives affected people a compulsive need to spread the meme.
CK-Class Restructuring scenario: It doesn't end the world outright, but the world is so different that it might as well be gone. One example of a CK is SCP-140. The longer the book grows, the longer the gruesome Daevite civilization in the book survives in real life. Making it long enough would change modern society beyond recognition.
GK-Class Hostile Greenhouse scenario: When plant life would severely disrupt the planet. Used in SCP-540 where anomalous weapons cause plants to bloom. It contains a modified Tsar Bomba, a 75 megaton nuclear weapon that would cause a forest to break out over one third of the planet.
IK-class Global Civilisation Collapse scenario. One story has a (perfectly normal, non-anomalous) asteroid that would kill 3 billion people over the next 10 years when it hit Earth being called an IK-Class natural disaster.
NK-Class Replication scenario: An object that is self-replicating or able to create matter out of nothing spirals out of control, and Earth becomes uninhabitable because it's completely covered in ink or coffee or what have you.
QK-Class Quantum Degeneracy scenario: When earth disintegrates into a quantum mess. SCP-2460, a piece of anomalous dark matter, can convert normal matter into more dark matter like itself, causing them to maintain their shape but lose the repulsion between particles, effectively causing objects to “phase through” each other. Should the object collide with earth, it will turn the entire earth into a giant bulk of orbiting non-interacting matter.
YK-Class Entropic Annihilation Event: Causing the entire universe to reverse its flow of entropy, effectively turning time backwards. SCP-2700, Tesla’sDeath Ray, contains a bundle of anomalously contained particles that behaves against normal entropy as its core. Should the Death Ray fire, the particles would be released and the entire universe will be converted to reverse entropy.
XK-Class End Of The World scenario: Was originally used in relation to religious based ends of the world, but shifted to an 'all purpose' of the end of the world scenario that could be anything from 'humans died' right up to 'the death of all life on the planet' or even 'the entire planet is exploded'. It's bad news, whatever the end result is. Dr. Clef's proposed SCP-001 if moved in confluence with a breach in SCP-995 and the opening of SCP-616 is just one example.
ZK-0 Reality Failure: Similar to above, but the universe would still exist, just not under our laws. The universe on the other side of SCP-319 is in a lower energy state, so should the device fail to contain the universe portal, a vacuum metastability event would occur, bringing the entire universe into a lower energy state that can’t support anything our current universe has.
Enemy Mine: The SCP Foundation and Global Occult Coalition (which are not necessarily enemies but allied organizations with conflicting viewpoints) have been known to occasionally work together to stop a creator of SCP's. As seen in SCP-191
In the future, a more dramatic union takes place: Thanks to the threat presented by the resurgent SCP-610 (and the Sarkic Cults of Adytum), and the events surrounding SCP-2217, the Foundation, the Global Occult Coalition, the Horizon Initiative, and the Church of the Broken God (members thereof at least) will forge an alliance to stop the FLESH.
To give the new reader an idea of how great an extent of this trope this example is, Dr. Clef's identity is not known. The most popular theory? He's Satan.
SCP-107 normally generates a rainstorm from any liquid poured into it (including water, orange juice, human blood, and super glue), but it didn't work when the Foundation tested it with elemental mercury.
The Foundation does have an Ethics Committee. They may seem ineffectual, but actually take their job very seriously.
Their treatment of SCP-661, a Jerk Ass salesman with a Compelling Voice. Upon finding out that some personnel were provoking or outright abusing him, they really weren't happy.
There's an old woman SCP who has lived hundreds of years. It's due to a potion she makes that can extend someone's life indefinitely, and heal any wounds or ailments. It can be reproduced. However, it's Powered by a Forsaken Child (and by "powered by" we mean "used as one of the ingredients." She is hinted to be the inspiration of the witch in Hansel and Gretel.note She likes the nickname Totenkinder, and has the right accent to from the general area of Germany, at least.) Not just making more, but even using the amount that is already made, is considered not to be an option even in the case of an emergency. (However, she is allowed to drink the existing brew she already has because her information is considered invaluable. They have standards, but don't think they're going soft.)
One tale depicts Dr. Wondertainment this way, along with shades of Pay Evil unto Evil. When an adult gets their hands on a low level mind control toy meant for unpopular kids to get friends, then tries to use it to recruit kids for....unsavory purposes, Wondertainment mobilises Mr. Headless, has him track the guy down, beat him near death, then drag him back to the lab. When he wakes up, he finds he's been handed over to the Foundation, with a note saying Wondertainment "fixed" him to be the perfect D-Class.
The data extracted from SCP-328. To avoid Don't Explain the Joke, spoilered: the data describes an ordinary human laptop computer, as described by members of a decidedly alien species who might exist in a different universe with slightly different physical laws. The aliens describing the laptop seem to belong to the alien equivalent of the SCP Foundation. To complete the joke, SCP-328 seems to be the alien's version of a laptop computer, and if the Foundation's description of it was to make its way back to the aliens they'd consider it to be an Expospeak Gag description of their laptop.
And they seem to be truly Starfish Alien types, as the mere act of a laptop emitting light manages to kill 4 researchers.
SCP-1960-J is a free-floating sphere made of white stone which moves in a continuous circular path, despite lacking any visible means of support or propulsion. It appears to absorb or suppress sound, changes color as one gets closer to it, has extreme temperature variations despite having no internal heat source, one needs to wear an environmental suit to touch it without dying, and it draws objects towards it. Fortunately, it is located a safe distance from anyone that it could harm, but a change in its circular motion could cause an XK-class end-of-the-world scenario. It is Earth's moon.
Extranormal Institute: Any of the Foundation's various sites. The amount of specialization of some personnel makes it even more extranormal.
Extranormal Prison: Their main purpose. And the containment methods add another layer for some SCPs.
A D-class who was known amongst the other Ds as "Goat" for being able to stomach the horrible food the Foundation gave them also became a true Extreme Omnivore capable of digesting rock, metal, etc. after drinking a mixture of water and SCP-1049-J.
Mr. Hungry is a humanoid SCP with an extremely fast metabolism that requires an intake of 2000 calories every two hours. If the condition is not met, he will enter a trance state and eat anything solid on sight, whether it is living or not, for a period of time.
Fantastic Racism: SCP-1171 is some sort of otherworldly creature located apparently in an alternate universe who is quite (passively) racist against humans. Apparently "gamete" is a racial slur against humans where he comes from. At least he's pretty nice to them up front.
SCP-2039, the Pikes and the Wagners, a pair of families who are doomed to attack each other forever with anomalous weapons (examples: WW1-era mines, Super Soakers, and wool gloves that [REDACTED]) because a mysterious gray-eyed man likes a good story.
SCP-2158, an anomalous handgun whose owner and target are related to the real-life Pleasant Valley War, a feud so deadly it delayed Arizona's statehood by a decade because it showed the territory wasn't civilized enough to join the US.
Flat World: SCP-1372 appears to be the edge of the earth. The problem isn't ships and people going over the edge, it's when they come back and try to get others to follow:
Log of F███████ R███████: The captain… was only after a fashion onboard. The same goes for the crew… they are gone now, the flames took them. Today is mostly a blur. All I know is that the moment I heard the men onboard that ship speak, I didn't want to understandtheir far-off words. [...] Forgive me, Captain, but I no longer want to know what you saw beyond the edge of the Earth.
Fighting from the Inside: SCP-239 is frightened of Dr. Clef and fears he will kill her for secretly using her "spells", so her reality-warping powers make him obsessed with killing her. Later, a deleted email is found on his computer, urging the Foundation to secure her and lock-down the site before he acts on it, then changes his mind and junks the message.
Combined with Grand Theft Me (literally): SCP-2885 is a pane of glass which allows people to find alternate universe versions of themselves and take over their minds and lives very rarely an alternate crosses over into this world.
D-81254: I feel like I keep hearing myself think. Some echo. It’s not me, though. Not me. It keeps saying that it is me, that this isn’t right, but that’s probably a lie, right? My life is great! My life. Mine. [pause] I just hit my head on the sink. I heard the thump. But I didn’t feel anything.
Document 143-A: We'll have to pick up the remains when the wind dies down in a couple days.
Fling a Light into the Future: Inverted with SCP-304, amongst others. 304 appears to be a listing of the names of all world leaders, including American Presidents, Chinese Presidents, and... SCP O5s. Specifically, they list 63 American presidents, a redacted number of SCP O5s, and 7 names in an encoding style that hasn't been invented yet... then abruptly stops. What happens in roughly 100 years to abruptly stop the list of human leadership is unknown.
"Welcome to HarusCo! Your sacrifice is very important to us! For Tinia the Thunderer, please perform a horizontal incision on the offering. For Aita of the Underworld, please perform a vertical incision. For Maris, lightly cover your offering with the ash of a dead warrior related to you by blood."
It also does not stand for "Slapstick, Clowns, and Puns", "Seduction, Coitus, and Pregnancy", or "Snap, Crackle, and Pop".
Few more appear in UIU Orientation, Soap and Care Products, Superior Consumer Produce, Sudden Career Possibilities, Security for Corporate Profiteers, and Spicy Crust Pizzeria.
A ton in "Successful Cooperation and Partnership" because the narrator doesn't know he has the power to make the businesses he likes fail and vise-versa and as long as he has ill feelings towards the "SCP" the Foundation will have a lot of success.
Also, a little fun with this occurs in every SCP page in the form of Special Containment Procedures.
There are PSC (People Shitting Chipperly) and PCS (People's Coconut Society) as well. Discussion page also mention Corporation for Public Smiting, Clown Suppression Party, Cooks Procastinating Silently, and Cat-Shaming Personnel.
GOC's field manual suggest to use SEX (Secure, Evaluate, and eXterminate) for dealing with animated dead.
Japanese branch has a group of interest with Toku-theme called Hyper Electric Rescue Organization.
Gaia's Vengeance: SCP-1100 AKA "Gaia's Blood" mutates living things in order to kill humans. It was thought to have been created by an Animal Wrongs Group but it seems to be literally Gaia's blood and she's extremely pissed.
Gender Bender: SCP-113 is a piece of red jasper that can do this upon contact with flesh of a gendered organism.
Genre Blindness: Many SCPs are very, very obviously objects or people out of mythology and legend. The writeups (despite supposedly being by professionals for whom documenting every possibly-relevant detail is often a matter of life or death or worse) will never, ever notice or comment on this. This is sometimes explained as an attempt to disallow cultural expectations from coloring observations. Case in point, SCP-2600, a completely mundane phenomenon which was only presumed anomalous due to preconceived notions (i.e., supposed genre savvy). See also the fact there are two, possibly three, entirely separate and distinct entities that are each implied in mutual contradiction to secretly be the one "true" god of the Abrahamic faith. Fairies, dragons, genies, zombies, and the horsemen of the apocalypse have had similar treatment.
Also, the Abrahamic faiths seem to be right. A number of SCPs require containment procedures be performed by individuals with good standing in one of the three monotheistic religions. There is no mention of similar circumstances for Hindus or any other religion. Then there is the entry for Dr. Clef's proposal for SCP-001.
Of course it could just be that most, if not all, of the writers for the site are from the three religions and don't want to make a Theme Park Version of any of the other religions.
Clef suggests that SCP-239 might be God, but he's likely to be lying. (That she's now being kept in an induced coma is reminiscent of the plot of Dogma.)
The figure behind the veil in SCP-1348 is strongly implied to be God. He hurts because he created humanity by mistake.
A God Am I: SCP-1832: "[And I knew it.] That I had the power. To heal or to not, to judge the wicked, to deny a man love and mercy when he needs it most. What I knew then was what it's like to be God." And when he gets that powerful feeling he can heal more effectively... for a while. Afterwards, he has to be a Jerkass to regain that feeling.
God Is Evil: Depending on which account is true, the God of the world accessible through SCP-093 is either a Jerkass who started a wholly unnecessary war for the hell of it, the methods of which caused The End of the World as We Know It as it created grotesque undead monsters... or is an Eldritch Abomination who invaded that world and used the pretense of being God to enslave humanity, the method used and technology it granted in the process creating the aforementioned grotesque undead monsters.
Food out. Suit can’t make any more water. Saw a hall with ten thousand doors. Ran down it, smashed a bunch, then kept climbing. Lost my boots. Floor looked like carpet. Made of super-sharp stone. Cut suit to ribbons. Feet too. Blood all over the shaft. Hope it appreciates it. Going to crush this thing. Feel it shatter in my hand. Hate this place. Keep hearing Henry. Keep telling him he’s dead. Won’t listen.
Gone Horribly Right: SCP-752 was created by a group of philosophers with the intention of being a perfect society. And it worked! The inhabitants of the city are motivated solely by the "greater good" of their community! Only, that means they have no emotions, no empathy, no desires, pretty much nothing even remotely human. They're more akin to a colony of ants than a human society. Oh, and of course they're vastly more technologically advanced than the outside world. According to the Foundation, if they ever leave their cavern, they'll wipe out humanity and become the dominant species.
Good Is Not Nice: The SCP Foundation protects muggle society from oft-dangerous supernatural items, some of which have the capacity to destroy civilization as we know it - but the majority of its researchers come off as cold or otherwise dispassionate, especially with how quickly they seem to go through D-class (standing for "disposable") personnel.
Go Through Me: Kondraki, Gears, Kain, and several SCPs turn out to protect SCP-239 from Clef's attempt to kill her.
The SCP include:
SCP-408: A swarm of butterflies, able to turn objects invisible. Aids in turning Dr. Kondraki invisible.
SCP-091-ARC: A sentient tree with infectious pollen. Infects Dr. Clef, causing random plant growth to sprout from him.
SCP-336: A human-like SCP with the ability to force people to do whatever she says. (Dr. Clef counters this by shooting his ears.)
SCP-244-ARC: Extremely advanced fighting machine.
SCP-547: Human-like SCP with thermokinesis. Engages Dr. Clef, and causes second and third degree burns on 50% of Dr. Clef's body.
SCP-776-ARC: A non-sentient die. When rolled, the die acts accordingly to the side facing up. Dr. Clef rolled the die three times. The first two times, the water droplets side came up, completely flooding the hallway. He then rolled the snowflake, causing the water to quickly freeze and barricade him from SCP-239.
Graceful Loser: Able. He regards his fight with 682 as "the best fight he had had in ages" despite his rather quick defeat, and takes great pride in having met "a creature whose capacity for violence surpassed his own".
Grandfather Clause: Able and Iris have stuck around through the Mass Edit largely because they're too important to the site's history to drop.
Grimy Water: SCP-242 and SCP-676 have an effect like this, disintegrating anyone and anything that enters them. Inverted in that they're both supernaturally clean as a result of their effects.
Additionally, SCP-5972-J does this as its primary function.
Also implied about SCP-203'sUnwilling Roboticisation; out of all the body parts that were mechanized, one was completely removed and it's censored with an [EXPUNGED] block...
"Groundhog Day" Loop: SCP-1733, a recording of a season-opening basketball game between the NBA's Boston Celtics and Miami Heat. Each time someone watches the tape, the game is played again, from the beginning, with differing results. Slowly, everyone involved (the players, coaches, announcers and fans) realize that they're reliving the same game over and over again, and... things get ugly.
Examples where the people don't (usually) notice things repeating can be found in the "loop" tag. Some have indicative names ("Observable Time Loop", "33 Second Man", "Time-Locked Town", "Infectious Time Loop", "Looping Kaiju Killing").
All posted within a two-day period by different authors:
SCP-1284, young girls whose limbs detach and become carnivorous rabbits if exposed to moonlight apparently the doing of their "king", who "consummates" their marriage by killing them when they have their periods. SCP-1282, rabbits who turn into human hunters who hunt rabbits during the full moon. SCP-1818, a manifestation of a living-dead rabbit on a certain company's airplanes (no moonlight necessary) and whatever's doing it is forgetting how its "thing" is supposed to go.
SCP-1793, an old rabbit who can make things appear. SCP-1793: "I'm sorry for the farmer. Family for a family, I thought at the time. Seeing him eat my wife and child; you can understand. After the mess, I met a man. Well, he wasn't a man. The three heads gave that away. He gave me the means to live out my last days in comfort, before my weak heart gives out. He told me he would find suitable wardens to care for me as I die."
In fact, this may have already happened in SCP-231's case. Fridge Logic dictates that as she will die of old age or otherwise and unleash the world-endingEldritch Abomination she's pregnant with, they had better come up with something fast. The higher-ups deciding not to do anything and thereby endangering the world, and not wanting to do anything anyway, is very uncomfortably indicative of this trope.
Subverted; the article says they are indeed searching for an alternative, and the repeated [DATA EXPUNGED] they keep doing to her is an attempt to buy time. Double Subverted by some extremely fine print hidden in Addendum 231-B: "Don't believe it when they say they're trying to save her. Why would they bother? They've got exactly what they want exactly where they want it." And then subverted yet again with a hidden poem that you can't see without View Source. Turns out something does have what it wants exactly where it wants it, but it's not the Foundation...
SCP-1958, a VW microbus currently en route for Alpha Centauri. Investigation revealed that a borderline Mad Scientist developed radical propulsion technology that allowed four hippies to blast off to the stars in the fifties. However, the idea of hippies in space quickly stops being funny when you read the diary: it turns out none of them knew of the distances involved (they only make it past the moon after a few days, thinking they'd reach Alpha Centauri in a few weeks, and the bus is currently around Mars) and die of scurvy or starvation.
Played with for SCP-1485. It's a portal to a world similar to the Foundation's, but with no anomalies or Foundation equivalent. It bears an estimated 99.98% similarity to their world, with the .02% historical difference believed to be caused by [REDACTED] (which in-universe is the absence of SCP objects). This sort of lampshades how similar the worlds are despite the number of SCPs that have impacted history.
SCP-101 indirectly caused the fame of the hijacker D. B. Cooper. His corpse was found next to SCP-101 and this discovery has been classified, which explains that everyone thought that Cooper managed to disappear with the money he stole.
SCP-2090: Professional basketball player Tim Duncan is actually a god-like being and the sport of basketball is actually a ritual created by the Foundation to prevent him from becoming an actual god thanks to Foundation messages from the future. Even a throwaway line about "turning a hurricane on him" to prevent get Duncan into the sport is actually a reference to real-life as reveled in the comments: Bluedanoob — "Duncan started out as a swimmer and only began playing basketball in ninth grade after Hurricane Hugo destroyed the only Olympic-sized pool on his home of St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands." (the future messages have Duncan "The Devastator" appearing on the shore of California and "blood in the water")
The aforementioned SCP-1574 is implied to have some connection to the Boxing Day Tsunami, despite being on the other side of the world. It may or may not have been caused by aliens from its home planet who had come looking for it.
Conviction. The Foundation replaced Hitler and took control of the Nazi party to prevent the spread of a dangerous and anomalous virus, one that only infected Jews, Gypsies, and homosexuals. The war, all the crazy propaganda, the ghettos, concentration camps, human experiments, all of it was a cover story to isolate the plague and find a cure for it. Problem was, the guy they got was just as racist as the real Hitler, adding Slavic peoples and disabled people because he thought it would be "for the good of mankind." It also implies that the Foundation founded Israel as a final attempt to contain the virus, specifically in a place where they'd be surrounded by enemies.
Some geological formations, such as the Marianas Trench and the Gulf of California, are the result of SCPs. In fact, their status as geological formations is fabricated by the Foundation and used to cover up any suspicions.
This is the ultimate goal of SCP-035. It's an Evil Mask that secretes a highly corrosive liquid that prevents it from keeping a host. It wants to take over SCP-682. Obviously, the Foundation doesn't want this, so it's taken to Mind Raping the personnel assigned to it.
A benevolent example: One of the short fiction pieces has the Foundation attempt to use SCP-963 to overwrite SCP-682's mind with that of Dr. Bright. It fails. Considering what Dr. Bright is, this might be for the best.
Hitler's Time Travel Exemption Act: SCP-2451-1 was ordered to get into a device and kill Hitler but apparently failed and now has a portal that stays near him through which other beings emerge trying to kill their version of Hitler and attack SCP-2451-1 instead. He's buried over a dozen of these assassins in his backyard aside from the one he married.
Hoist by His Own Petard: SCP-1034 is a needle that forces anyone touching it to sew their facial orifices shut. It was "gifted" by an unknown entity to a serial killer. When SCP-1034 was apprehended, so was the serial killer. In an interview with a Foundation doctor, he shows no remorse for his actions and goes as far as to say "you'd look good as a doll, doc." He was turned into a D-class and became one of the item's victims as of a Foundation experiment. Even better: while the names of the researchers are expunged, one can notice that the name of the lead researcher conducting most of the experiments consists of four letters... but for the experiment involving D-3826 (the serial killer), the lead researcher's name has 5 letters - same as the name of the researcher in the interview. The subtle implication being that the doctor who interviewed him volunteered to carry out the experiment so he could see D-3826 stitch himself up. And honestly, can you really blame him?
Honorable Elephants: SCP-1495 is a herd of very intelligent elephants. Using a special fluid the males excrete during mating season they are able to influence other animals into attacking people they somehow know are rapists and murderers.
SCP-1295: They got stuck on earth after they mistook an atomic bomb blast for the end of the world.
SCP-1844 once had an emaciated human in a pale feral horse escape during a breach.
According to the Competitive Eschatology story group:
SCP-231-7 is Conquest she renounced her position to protest 343/God not doing anything about her situation (she doesn't blame the researchers for something they didn't know) and she chose the Atmospheric Jellyfish as her steed, the White Horse.
SCP-993, Bobble the Clown is War and the airwaves is his steed, the Red Horse.
SCP-027, The Vermin God is Famine and his steed has been disguised as a researcher for decades, the Black Horse.
SCP-053, the Young Girl is Death and 682 is her steed, the Pale Horse.
Humanoid Abomination: Some of the upper ranking researchers are this due to exposure to SCPs. For instance, Dr. Bright is more or less a Lich that replicates himself whenever someone touches his Soul Jar.
Humans Are Special: Somewhat darker variation: in many cases, humans are the only things affected by SCPs.
The Daevites are a hostile offshoot of humans originating from south-central Siberia, who practiced things like slavery, cannibalism, and human sacrifice. While currently extinct, they could be transplanted into the modern day should SCP-140 receive enough writing material.
The inhabitants of SCP-752 look human, but their behavior is closer to social insects like ants.
As well as a Brand X "Bouncy Ball" that was processed through SCP-914 on higher and higher settings (turning into "Extra Bouncy" to "Super-Duper Bouncy"), until being output on the "Very Fine" setting. After being dropped by the researcher conducting the tests, it resulted in 45 casualties and was believed to be orbiting Mars.
Hyperspace Is a Scary Place: Many different varieties. SCP-616's original form (and the door in the new 616) is a portal to a Fire and Brimstone Hell and could have been taken straight out of Event Horizon ...merely looking at anything taken from beyond the door will make you instantly homicidal, suicidal, insane, dead, or all four. Oh, and rather counter-intuitively, allowing that door to close is the worst thing you could do.
I Did What I Had to Do: Practically every article is an example of this. Among the most stark and disturbing examples are the fates of SCP-231-2 to SCP-231-7. It got to the point where one security guard was angry enough to try and get SCP-231-4 out of the facility and still causes controversy to this day.
The Ethics Committee makes sure that they do what they need to do and not an inch beyond it.
"Although SCP-507 has an already-established name due to its unremarkable upbringing, it seems to find entertainment in forcing those it meets to give it a nickname in lieu of divulging this information. Thus SCP-507 will now respond to the names Tommy, Steve, Bruto, Guy, Houdini, and Grabnok the Destroyer."
Somewhat less humorously, it's because of multiverse versions of him occasionally popping up in his place.
In three instances, characters consistent with Shang-dynasty-era oracle bone script. Rough translations of messages include "WE ARE KINGS", "WE ARE SPECIAL", and "WE ARE THE CENTER"
The Foundation figures the ancient Chinese didn't like the idea that Earth wasn't the center of the solar system much less the galaxy so they altered time and space to move galaxies to make it so. Now the Foundation wants to erase everything written with SCP-2070 because "Any life outside of our own planet is bound to get a little curious about where the arrows are pointing".
Identity Amnesia: SCP-2310 is a house that replaces the identity of anyone who enters it with that of a woman who lived there between 1989 and 2007 (she's still alive and perfectly normal and for some reason the replacement identity's memories begin in 2002).
Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Not only did the demonic SCP-4357-J technically capture itself (it drew a arcane sigil on the floor then proceeded to step onto it to demonstrate), not only is it a master of Tempting Fate, it took over a month for it to figure out it could just fly out of its containment circle using its wings.
Interviewer:I have here a copy of Dr. Kondraki's termination procedure proposal. Step one is his plan to use cat urine and a pistol loaded with silver bullets. Backup plans two, three, four, and five are listed as, and I quote, 'Wing It,' 'Make Something Up,' 'Cross That Bridge When I Come To It,' and 'Put My Head Between My Knees And Kiss My Ass Goodbye.' Clef:[EXPLETIVE REDACTED]
Infernal Retaliation: One attempt to destroy SCP-682 consisted of using SCP-1543-J (a catapult with an absurdly long range) to launch it into the sun. It later "came back on fire".
Infinite Supplies: The Foundation has apparently infinite budget for all their operations. How they managed to do this is never directly explained by any article, and the wiki's authors tend to encourage users to make up their own answers.
Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons: SCP-682 has been called a "tarasque" in the Lord Blackwood and Bellerverse tales; SCP-1420 seem to be working towards a viable dragon; SCP-1013 is a cockatrice; SCP-1779 are tiny dragons that eat change (actually they're real dragons, which apparently feed on items of monetary value rather than nutritional value, and the more expensive the food the bigger the dragon).
From Bad to Worse: A feature of many articles. Often indicated by strikethrough text showing the old containment procedure, followed by the incident that made it inadequate.
Also how recovery reports tend to go.
"It" Is Dehumanizing: The Foundation's usage of "it" to describe anomalous humans, human anomalies, or humanoid anomalies is very much Depending on the Writer. The earliest conventions on the site encourage use of "it", saying that it prevents Foundation members from becoming attached to the anomalous subjects and allows them to maintain their composure. Later on, usages of other pronouns became more and more common, humanizing some of the later SCPs.
It's Been Done: Given that there are over two thousand SCP's listed on the site, and more constantly added, it's a rare thing for an author to have an idea that hasn't been done before in any shape or form. Members are recommended that they run their ideas past other people in the chat or forums, in order to avoid having their work downvoted and deleted because it was too similar to an existing article.
Jack the Ripoff: Played with in SCP-668, a chef's knife that makes its holder to go on a killing spree and inspires apathy in anyone observing to such a degree they are unable to do anything to help the victims. The incident that brought it to the foundation's attention references a real life murder that helped popularize the idea of the Bystander Effect.
The Juggernaut: SCP-096 is a tall and thin humanoid that will chase down and [EXPUNGED] anyone who sees its face. It might not have much muscle mass, but it can smash through virtually any material (including an AWACS plane), and is nearly impossible to hurt (600 .50 caliber shots from a GAU-19hardly make it flinch), plus it will find you no matter how far from it you are. It'll fling itself miles into the air if it has to. There is no middleground between seeing it and not seeing it; if you look at its face for even couple milliseconds or see a 2x2 pixel image of it, you're screwed.
Some pictures on the site may appear stationary at first, but are in fact animated .gifs with the intent to freak out the viewer.
SCP-1875 does this masterfully without needing to use an animated GIF, by hiding an extremely disturbing stationary image under a pile of garbage data you'll be skipping as fast as possible only to unexpectedly run into pure Nightmare Fuel.
Kicked Upstairs: The Foundation used to be known to assign especially moronic personnel (such as a researcher who proposed that SCP-447 be used to take out SCP-682) to Keter duty. Almost all actual instances of "Keter duty" (and the related "demoted to D-class") have since been purged in an effort to Shoo Out the Clowns.
Kick the Dog: The Foundation does more than a few things that are, simply put, quite horrible.
Kick the Son of a Bitch: The Foundation's usage of D-Class is appalling, but when they mention said D-Class's crimes, especially if they're sex offenders, no one in the fanbase minds them getting especially gruesome deaths.
When a guest researcher was killed by 682, everyone was fine with it in and out of universe due to the man having used children in his experiments prior.
Kill It with Fire: SCP-244 is a large jar that creates creatures made of freezing fog that "feed" on heat sources. Any living being coming in contact with the creatures SCP-244 produces will be flash-frozen. However, these frozen-fog creatures shy away from any heat source greater than 600 degrees Celsius, such as a burning stick of wood. In fact, said creatures fade away like the fog they seem to be made of if exposed to fire for too long.
SCP-923, though it doesn't fire conventional projectiles. The best way to describe it would be weaponized insanity. It was apparently built by the Foundation, except the Foundation site that would have produced it was never built due to logistical concerns.
SCP-1396, five satellites designed to pitch giant tungsten rods at targets on Jupiter, which curiously started firing back at one point. Yet another Foundation creation, hinted to be from the future.
Kraken and Leviathan: SCP-169 is an aquatic arthropod so massive that, even with their seemingly unlimited resources, the Foundation can't think of a better way to deal with it than hiding that it exists, and hoping that it doesn't wake up. It's quite possibly bigger than the entirety of Europe.
Language of Truth: SCP-1206 causes people to speak a language that expresses exactly what they are thinking in a word. It is impossible to lie while speaking it, which often drives a wedge between people who speak it.
Let's You and Him Fight / Divide and Conquer: SCP-2273's interviews imply, and its author confirms, that in SCP-2273's world SCP-1000, the intelligent Yetis, weren't mind-wiped by humans and are using a world war to let humanity kill each other with SCP-1000's advanced technology (SCP-1000 didn't start the war, they were discovered by Brits digging trenches).
Lethal Chef: SCP-666-½-J causes five localised K-Class scenarios. All in the victim's digestive system. Also, while non-canon, its effects not only caused SCP-682 to wish for death from Yog-Sothoth (and get it, no less), but is heavily implied to be why SCP-173 kills any human he comes across (and the feces/blood mix on the floor of his containment).
Life Drinker: SCP-545 is a recipe that can bottle someone's life essence and make the drinker effectively immortal (but not immortally young).
SCP-776 is a ritual that can make the practitioners de-age almost 40 years, although lately there's been some weird side-effects like birth defects ("too many eyes and not enough skin") and...:
Dr. █████: What was it that your daughter said?
276 (776 practitioner): …She said, "Papa, why did you do that to me? Why did you [DATA EXPUNGED]. I…I didn't even notice how much she looked like my fourth daughter up until that moment…
The Decommissioned SCPs are a collection of invokedgloriously bad attempts at writing a serious entry with many being blatantly Mary Sue wish fulfillment characters. All are addended with some form of ignominious demise, such as an invincible Marty Sue felled by a peanut allergy.
It is unclear what happened next, however all surviving personnel at Site 138-Delta within approximately 200 m of SCP-2006 reported seeing a brilliant flash of bright red or pink light despite not having direct line-of-sight to SCP-2006-1. Six (6) personnel were killed by massive brain hemorrhages, thirty-eight (38) were permanently blinded, and Drs. Kinomoto and Tsukino were heard exclaiming "SO CUTE" in Japanese before vaporizing into clouds of pastel-colored dust. Dr. █████████ recovered fully after three (3) months of hospitalization for neurological trauma.
SCP-650 is basically a Lighter and Softer version of SCP-173. Instead of killing you when you break eye contact with it, it just moves behind you and startles you.
The site itself goes through periods of this and Darker and Edgier, as the balance shifts between odd and whimsical SCPs and Nightmare Fuel entries. In particular, one phase of the site's canon is viewed with a mix of nostalgia and eyerolling, and has come to be known collectively as lolFoundation. Tales in this arc are typically taken as a combination of "Rashomon"-Style soft canon exaggerated or invented in the aftermath, and certain SCPs causing mental breakdowns and distortions of the laws of physics. Everyone does seem to agree, however, the destruction of Site 19 was where it all got a little out of hand, in-universe and out.
SCP-810 also applies, even though there isn't an actual genie. It tells the user "Ask what you will, and you shall never want for it." Whatever you ask for, you'll never have a desire for it ever again. Don't ask for food, because you'll starve without even realizing you're hungry.
Be sure to use the word "coffee" when asking SCP-294 for a cup of coffee. Requesting a "cup of Joe" results in something...less than pleasant.note When asked to give a "cup of joe", SCP-294 filled a small paper cup with 12 ounces of blood, skin, and other bodily fluids. DNA testing revealed that the skin, blood, and bodily fluids belonged to Agent Joseph ██████, who was recently hospitalized for profuse sweating and dizziness.
SCP-738 will, when a contract is drawn up, follow it to the letter and no further. A D-class who wanted freedom (and was granted it, at the cost of his best friend's life) was captured five hours later.
Little Bit Beastly: SCP-1575 can turn non-human mammals that drink water from it into human beings. They retain at least one pre-mutation characteristic about 40% of the time, and possibilities include retaining a tail or animal ears.
Are We Cool Yet? is an entire collective of these. Ever wonder what it's like to give a bunch of sociopathic art students magic? Nowyouknow.
An unrelated artifact is SCP-804, an art installation that could destroy anything man-made on the planet (including humans, but at a much slower rate). Why did the artists create such a thing? They simply wanted to do it.
Dr. █████████: Please state your name for the record. SCP-2006-1note SCP-2006-2 and 3 is her costume and "magic wand": I AM ███'██, DAUGHTER OF ██████ AND WARRIOR PRINCESS OF THE [DATA EXPUNGED]. Dr. █████████: I see, and what is your purpose? SCP-2006-1: I TRANSFORM INTO[DATA EXPUNGED] TO FIGHT CRIME IN THE NAME OF [DATA EXPUNGED].
SCP-134 has pitch black eyes (which actually act as windows to another point in space).
SCP-076-2 has tattoos all over him of occult iconography.
SCP-239 has her radiation emitting grey eyes.
Masquerade: The Foundation isn't the only one capable of pulling this off. The Massachusetts town surrounding SCP-2480 has an illusion over it that can fool both human sensory and cameras. In addition to a general sense of "wrongness", visiting agents notice people moving around something unseeable, walls that aren't really there and an agent being killed by an invisible force. When given sensory-enhancing chemicals, observes instead see both humanoid and animal-like monsters where regular people had been seen before. The invisible things people had been avoiding were actually hooded priest-like figures and fleshy growths are found on the buildings while the mansion itself connects to an Eldritch Location composed entirely of organic matter. Turns out that the anomalies are the result of the Religion of Evil behind SCP-2095 expanding itself into the modern world. Said Religion of Evil is also the FLESH that the Church of the Broken God opposes and (via External Retcon) responsible for SCP-610. If that's not bad enough, there are similar anomalies in Brazil and Romania.
Meaningful Name: Prometheus Labs, considering they have produced objects not understood by modern science.
Thaumiel. In the Kabbalah, it's the "Shadow of Keter". The explanation: Keter SCPs are the most dangerous and destructive; Thaumiel SCPs are the most beneficial and benign.
Some SCP numbers also qualify as meaningful names; for example, SCP-1776 is a flag that makes people in the military act nationalistic, SCP-2360 is a group of youths augmented with parts from an Xbox, and SCP-1871 is a Vorpal Sword; 1871 was the year Alice Through the Looking-Glass was published.
SCP-335 have the entire contents of the internet in floppy disks with labels featuring assorted names. The notes below explain a few (076, "Able", is another SCP; 028, "Heath" is the age Heath Ledger died; and 070, "Vladimir", is the year Lenin was born, 1870) and given the text explains 013 has the entire contents of Wikipedia, "Jimbo" makes perfect sense.
SCP-261 is a vending machine connected to the multiverse, dispensing items ranging from normal food, to ones nonexistent in our world, to ones not made for human beings, to ones not made to open in an oxygen atmosphere. It's also sapient to some degree, reacting to different pranks with hostility, and actually killed people by dispensing a live grenade in response to the coin-on-a-string trick, while it was undamaged.
SCP-278 is a ~16.5 meter mechanical spider made of anachronistic technology, that has somehow been upgraded over the course of 150 years, and can be piloted by humans. Not too unusual by Foundation standards, but it's also autonomous and capable of acting without a human driver, despite lacking any kind of electronic control system. It's harmless, thankfully, content to construct a web made of nylon and remain stationary.
SCP-882 is an enormous mass of rusted but extremely resilient gears which absorbs any metal into itself. It makes no noise, yet anyone exposed to it begins to hallucinate the sound of moving machinery, and can only get relief by feeding it.
SCP-914 is a mass of millions of gears surrounding a tube connecting two booths in which it modify any item sent through it. It has five settings: rough, coarse, 1:1, fine, and very fine, which vaguely define its modifications between obliterating an object and altering it to he point where it violates the laws of physics. It uses no power, and observations of its interior show no equipment besides its gears. Like 261, it's intelligent, and a skilled chess player.
SCP-1633 is a video game capable of learning player tactics, and eventually, will start attacking the player, not the player character, using things like seizure inducing flashbangs. It's final boss, Kr'th'nar, is capable of leaving the game and affecting the owner's computer, can see them, use psychological manipulation, and can turn the computer back on. Whether it's a simulation of an Eldritch Abomination that grew into the role, or the real deal trapped inside of a video game is unknown.
SCP-808. An incomplete robotic musician constructed by the Church of the Broken God.
The Men in Black: A standard tactic for certain infiltration procedures, particularly retrieving items from the UIU. Also the standard dress for agents when interviewing or interrogating civilians in the field.
Mercy Kill: Several of these were attempted for the victims of SCP-145. They all failed.
SCP-343 is omnipotent and claims to be God. He's also mischievous and people like him a lot, though he's pissed off a doctor by deleting his orders.
SCP-999 is a strange example of this. It's a Blob Monster, but it's also possibly the most benevolent entity in the entire Foundation. One example was putting it's own life in danger to save others from SCP-682, the creature that not even 343 would confront. That's right, in this universe, an orange blob is more morally righteous than God himself.
343 was more upset with the fact that they where trying to get him to deal with "Something that wasn't his", and refused out of moral compunction. So apparently GOD had nothing to do with the creation of 682...
The Metric System Is Here to Stay: The official policy of the site is to use SI units, precisely to invoke the "future/science" feel of this trope (for American visitors, anyway). Apparently, this rubbed some editors the wrong way, and you can find a little Bothering by the Book: Entries that were obviously written using round numbers in the American Customary System, then blindly translated into the exact metric equivalent. Thus, for instance, one particularBigger on the InsideEldritch Location has a corridor that extends 182.88 meters (600.00 feet) past where the edge of the structure should be.
Another one automatically converts any descriptions of its dimensions to American customary measurements.
A Million Is a Statistic: Used in the file on SCP-1123: touching the skull gets you possessed by the spirit of a victim of political movements. "██% of imprints come from Communist China’s Great Leap Forward between 1958 and 1961, ██% of imprints come from Nazi Germanys extermination efforts between 1939 and 1945, while only █% come from events such as the Armenian Genocide or the Iraqi Anfal campaign where deaths are only estimated in the 1 to 2 million range."
Mind Screw: It is to be expected, considering that the setting is filled with Reality Warpers, alternate dimensions with differing rules from our own, and all other sorts of strange things. But even under that framework, SCP-1782 ("Tabula Rasa") manages to be an outstandingly bizarre SCP. Helps that it was Based on a Dream.
SCP-1193 What the hell exactly is going on. SCP-1877, by the same author, follows the same vein (and said writer stated both are meant to be part of a World Gone Mad that intersects with Earth)
SCP-1539. It might take a few readings to get what it is. It's an anomaly that changes the identity of everything inside, but keeps their physical properties intact.
Mind Virus: These are usually classified as "Memetic Hazards".
SCP-1176 is a sarcophagus that produces an extremely nourishing honey-like substance. This being the SCP Foundation universe, it's only after widespread distribution that they discovered it only works on those of a certain blood type, killing all the others.
SCP-1615 is an edible fungus that causes the eater to survive via photosynthesis until a more stable food source can be found.
Mirror Chemistry: SCP-739, a small closet with mirrored interiors. Closing a person in the booth once will flip all their amino-chains. Closing them in twice will switch them back, but repeating the experiment too many times with the same subject leads to something else emerging. As a fun side benefit, locking sugar packets in the closet will flip them as well. The scientist specifically notes that they would make excellent diet sweeteners.
SCP-2169 is a random operating theater used by mysterious beings as a literal MMORPG in order to play surgeon. They're actually pretty good at it, aside from the occasional—
(Upon manifesting, SCP-2169-2-25 began vocalizing loudly, grabbed a scalpel, and began stabbing the subject repeatedly in the chest.) SCP-2169-2-25: TRO-LO-LO-LO-LO-LO-LO-LO-LO-LO-LO SCP-2169-2-1: Damnit! SCP-2169-2-2: Goddamn pugs.
SCP-1201 (to the agent who follows it, wants to know more about its mission to kill "that bitch Beth"): You better not be a fucking noob.
SCP-896 is an MMORPG where, if the player enters their own name for their avatar, their stats in real life will start corresponding to that in the game. For example, increasing strength would cause the player in real life to become stronger, stamina would make them more durable, etc.
Mobile Maze: SCP-432 is a maze located inside a cabinet. The maze is stationary as long as the door is open, but if you close the door, the whole thing moves.
Mohs Scale of Science Fiction Hardness: Despite being an entire universe about things that go against scientific rules, everyone treats everything with good scientific hardness and bases the magical things in plausible physics terms. It is best described as what happens when you have Speculative Science themes and descriptions in a Science In Genre Only setting by lampshading all the different unscientific things.
Mole Men: SCP-2622 is a humanoid star-nosed mole claiming to come from a highly advanced civilization of Mole Men living in a pulp fiction-style underworld, which had regular contact with the surface before being separated by a natural disaster. He's making everything up.
Mood Whiplash: SCP-387's experiment logs, specifically the last two. In the second-to-last, Dr. Arch writes about the "improved morale and attitude" as a result of playing with the SCP (Animated Legos, for those who can't be bothered to look) and requests all staff are allowed access, which is approved. The immediate next experiment involves placing Megablocks (A knockoff brand of Legos) near SCP-387. The result? "everything constructed of 387 stopped moving, turned slowly towards the Megablocks and [EXPUNGED]."
Addendum 387-6: Jesus fucking Christ. - Dr. Arch
Said result might be justified in a Noodle Incident mentioned as the following:
119) As funny as Incident 387/682-██ was, Dr. Bright is not allowed unsupervised access to SCP-387. Agents are still trying to figure out how an animate model of 682 was so invulnerable, despite being made of just plastic blocks.
Mook Maker: SCP-068, a little wire figure in the shape of a person, will search out objects made of metal, tear off strips of it, and proceed to make a copy of itself. This copy, along with the original, then makes copies of itself and so on, until there is about 102 separate copies. The copies will then come together to create one "super-copy", and the process will begin again. While the original SCP-068 is indestructible, the copies it makes, thankfully, have the same durability of whatever metal it was made from.
Moon-Landing Hoax: Played with in SCP-2047. Man did land on the Moon, but then aliens made Earth change places with their world, forcing the Foundation to plant all the equipment left by the Apollo program in the new satellite.
Morton's Fork: SCP-417 containment protocols dictate that anybody bitten by one of the insects may request an immediate mercy killing. If they don't they are killed anyway to prevent containment breach.
More Dakka: Referenced on the "the-things-dr-bright-is-not-allowed-to-do-at-the-foundation" page- one of the phrases the SCP's motto is not is "We always need more Dakka!" Additionally, one of the rules on that page is that Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to offer the solution of "Use more guns" to any problem.
There's an SCP that is a bottomless magazine (or clip, or mag clip, or speedloader, or...) that fits into any weapon, and there's a chance that a shot coming from it does something odd (freezes targets, fires Magic Bullets, randomly explodes a body part not aimed at, et cetera).
Motivational Lie: The procedure for SCP-616 states that the prayers of an ordained priest of an Abrhamic religion are necessary to keep all the people inside it from being killed by, apparently, the Legions of Hell. An addendum at the end of it states that in actually, the belief that one can keep it from happening is all that is really needed, but a test run showed that religious faith worked better, so the Foundation added the need for an Abrahamic priest and the Satanic markings inside 616.
MST: SCP-1722 is a stick that, when held by someone, will add its comments in any nearby document (books, videos, audio recordings). And has the personality of a Grumpy Old Man.
Multiple-Choice Past: Dr. Clef gets at least one new origin every time he's in a story. Previous claims have included Satan, Adam, and a Reality Warper who blew up the space shuttle Challenger in childhood by casually wondering what would happen, all in the same story.
Notable in that these are all relayed by Clef himself, who is a self-admitted liar. Although the first one actually has some evidence to support it. Murky, potentially deceptive evidence, but evidence nonetheless.
Bear in mind, though - Kondraki didn't believe the third possibility, but did immediately believe the first despite that one being somewhat less plausible. Why would that be? Was it his emotional state at the time? Did he just learn to take Clef's words as automatically false? Or did Consummate Liar Clef just pull a Sarcastic Confession?
SCP-1041 has 119 pasts (or personalities) that she cycles through and apparently all of them are real:
Parental testing has located ninety-eight women and eighty-four men that are genetic matches for SCP-1041's parents.
"I would like to remind all personnel that SCP-038 is not, I repeat, not a toy. It should not be used for cloning car keys, movies, music or items from the vending machines."
Note from Dr. Klein - SCP personnel below Level 3 are now banned from handling SCP-500. This is not to be used to cure a hangover. Get AIDS and then ask permission.
Sometimes the organization actually does it themselves, like moving SCP-294 to the break room to save money on drinksnote This inevitably lead to a requirement for security clearance.
SCP-458 can be found...in the break room in Site 17, sitting on the counter. To be fair, it's simply a bottomless pizza box that always has the favourite kind of pizza of whoever opens it inside of it. Employee morale has improved significantly since it was approved for open use, however, so there's that. As an added bonus, it is also indestructible, because they made several attempts to damage & dismantle it without success.
And then there's SCP-795, a cat with mind control and Baleful Polymorph abilities... but otherwise a plain normal cat. So it uses its powers for cat things like convincing the personnel to give it more food or toys. The only nasty thing about the kitty is that it tends to turn people it likes into playmates (read: other cats) and people it doesn't into mice.
A large portion of the anomalous items recovered that have not been destroyed are either in use at various sites or in the offices of various researchers.
Murder Is the Best Solution: Distressingly common, and considering what the Foundation deals with, distressingly justifiednote The SCP Foundation casually murders so many of its own guys that one wonders how they manage to remain fully staffed. The Foundation takes no chances. The Foundation (both in-universe and meta) is trying to stop needless "civilians terminated" for Safe objects, though.
My Beloved Smother: SCP-2190. In life she tried to force her daughter to marry a rich American man like she did even though her daughter was already happily married with a kid. In death she uses her anomalous control over her bank account bribes people to attack her daughter and son-in-law to separate them. Nevertheless,
POI-2190-2 (daughter): I cannot love what she does to my family, but she is still my mother, and I hate the things she does but I still love [her].
Myth Arc: There are quite a few, separate from one another, and depending on what you consider canon. A few notable ones include:
Pitch Haven, which is made up of, among others, SCP-2746, SCP-1913, SCP-1903, and SCP-2999. Word of God says that it's a story about reincarnating spirits (who just happen to resemble anthropomorphic animals) that were exiled from the Garden Of Eden for an unknown crime, and were punished in ways such as gouging out eyes and severing limbs. Oh, and 682 is the Serpent from the Garden.