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Web Video / Feeding The Trolls

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Time to feed the trolls...

Feeding The Trolls is a web series that started when Noah Yudell, aka CuteFuzzyWeasel, had a rotten day and decided to, well, feed a internet troll. The video would turn out to be far and away his most popular, and what was originally meant to be a one-off episode has become his signature series, complete with green screen backgrounds, professional lighting, and some pretty dang good comedy to boot. Join CuteFuzzyWeasel as he takes on the best of the internet's worst: the ignorant, the angry, the hateful, and the just plain creepy.

Along with Feeding, Weasel also has a variety of other shows such as CuteFuzzyWeasel Watches and CuteFuzzyWeasel Reads. The former is for viewer requests where Weasel watches the weirdest content the Internet has to offer while the latter is where Weasel reads and riffs on Troll Fics.


This Series Contains Examples Of

  • Angrish: Weasel is quite prone to this when dealing with the more brain-breakingly stupid trolls.
  • Attention Whore: Captain Crazification, who is probably the one troll who looked forward to being fed. To the point of spamming the comment sections of his videos and his inbox asking Weasel to make a video on him. This ends up being the main reason why Weasel refuses to feed him.
  • Berserk Button:
    • Weasel has a special place in his heart for homophobes. His video dealing with Apologetics has a point where all the humor is dropped, and his voice goes deadly calm for a moment before completely tearing into her. Overall, his videos dealing with homophobes are often much more serious in tone than his other ones, even compared to other ones where he deals with The Fundamentalist.
    Weasel: Gay more...than have sex. They can love. They can aspire. And they can do everything any other productive member of this society can do. And yet people like THIS fucking troll like to think of them as some kind of weird underclass of morlock!!!
    • James The Preacher himself became one. His appearance on the Top Ten Trolls of 2013 video immediately earned scorn and hatred. Then again, when you say that a school shooting happened because people went to public school and mothers didn't stay at home, what would you expect the response to be?
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    • He is seen to have a very strong one in people who constantly snap their fingers and make dumb hand gestures while talking, as he goes ballistic on SimplyVegan for his constant use of it.
      • The reveal of him having Misophonia (albeit self-diagnosed) may provide context to this.
    • He also has a strong hatred for when people don't edit out the part of their video where they shut off the camera. He didn't quite explode from seeing Jared Milton doing it in his first video on him, likely beacuse he knows everything about him is fake. Roosh V, however... not quite as lucky.
    • Recently, he has also developed a berserk button for mental health denial, as shown by him ripping apart Paul Joseph Watson for literally saying "depression is a bunch of temporary feelings that entitled crybaby millenials have" and that depression isn't actually a mental condition.
  • Bilingual Bonus: "Johnson sounds like a schwans".
    • Subverted because he explains it right after, making it not so much of a bonus.note 
  • Brown Note: Jared Milton's singing is this on the show. Which ends up leading to...
    • Cool and Unusual Punishment: CuteFuzzyWeasel being tortured by this, with the person responsible wanting him to feed Jared Milton again. He lampshades the trope, attempting to defy the trope... but after a few hours of listening to it, he eventually broke down and agreed to do it.
  • Catharsis Factor: In-Universe example: Weasel started the show as a way to blow off steam after a bad day. This doesn't work sometimes.
  • Call-Back:
    • CuteFuzzyWeasel asks if he has to set up the scoreboard he used for RepresentingTruth, regarding staying on-topic, regarding Irving Baxter's rant on gay marriage.
    • Weasel makes reference to a certain someone's note  "hate list" (voice included) in his video on GMGameplays, commemorating how he was the first British troll Weasel covered since the very beginning.
  • Cluster F-Bomb
  • Comically Missing the Point: When Coach Dave says that he responds to hate mail by saying "I was born this way," Weasel takes a look at the baseball cap that he wears, then at the news thumbnail behind him that depicts a baby wearing the same cap, and concludes " were born with a baseball cap?" He then spends the next few minutes contemplating the logistics behind this even as Dave continues ranting.
  • Copy-and-Paste Environments: Two of the CoD Enlightenment Army videos he's covered use the same White House setting from Go! Animate, featuring an audience full of a few caricatures of political figures copy-pasted repeatedly. Weasel is quick to point this out.
  • Critical Research Failure: [In-Universe] An embarrassingly blatant one when Weasel revisits Caiden Cowger, who uses a news article from the Sun (a notoriously bad news source) to reinforce his claims that liberals are turning kids gay. Weasel has to get his information on the story from various other sources when he finds that all but the intro to the original Sun article is behind a subscription paywall, and he eventually notices that not only did Caiden only read from the intro, but when he holds up a printed version of the story, it's the same pre-paywall intro that Weasel found, proving that he didn't actually read the article, either.
    • Another blatant one is Weasel pointing out that The Vigilant Christian placed Superman as a Marvel character, despite the fact that Superman is under DC. Weasel continues to points out the lack of research as The Vigilant Christian brings up Thor (adding in the fact that Thor was an actual Norse god), Captain America, and Batman (also DC) as examples of "Marvel espouses worship of Satan and The Anti-Christ".
  • Death Glare: Sometimes does this at the camera when a troll says something really trollish, stupid or asinine.
  • Deep South: Sometimes uses a "redneck" accent when imitating certain trolls, mostly the religious trolls.
    • Ironic considering Weasel actually lives in the South, specifically Elon, North Carolina.
  • Domestic Abuse: Weasel has suggested that James the Preacher beats his wife on a few occasions.
  • Due to the Dead: States in his Top 2015 Trolls videos that he left 3PAC off the voting list because of this.
  • Emo Kid: Paints Krapplefag as one in his impressions of him.
  • The End of the World as We Know It: Parodied at the beginning of his fourth video on Caiden Cowger in the wake of gay marriage being legalized worldwide. In it, Weasel is in the midst of a burning wasteland, equipped with a shotgun and a cheesy action hero accent, stating how the Earth has been plunged into chaos from the aforementioned legalization. Then the green screen reverts back to it's regular background and Weasel calmly explains that nothing major has truly happened.
  • Eskimos Aren't Real: In addition to copious amounts of nutcases who believe events such as the Moon Lands being hoaxes appearing on the show, we have Paul Joseph Watson claiming that depression isn't real and saying the idea that it results from a chemical imbalance in the brain is ridiculous. Yes, he thinks the idea of an observable, measurable biochemical process in the brain that can be empirically proven is "ridiculous" What.The.Fuck.
  • Even Cannibal Trolls Have Standards: Weasel has a couple of rules regarding the trolls he'll feed, mostly concerning age. The only intentional breaking of this rule was when he first instated it, to illustrate why he doesn't do it, and then later with Caiden Cowger.
    • More specifically, he lists his five rules as thus:
      • He will not target trolls that he suspects are under the age of 12, as he considers them children and not worth feeding.
      • If the troll is above 12 but below the age of 16, the troll must have said or done something particularly offensive or stupid to warrant being fed, such as homophobia, sexism, religious fundamentalism or just plain stupidity.
      • The troll must have actual videos on their account, not just random troll comments.
      • The chosen troll must have some kind of sound on their videos, preferably a spoken, legible voice. He will not do text trolls.
      • And finally, the troll must have videos that are at least one minute long.
    • He also finally decides that James the Preacher simply isn't worth giving attention to, and eventually does the same with Captain Crazification.
  • Expansion Pack Past: The CoD Enlightenment Army has apparently adds bits from other people's mockery of them into their big conspiracy theory, including Weasel's joke that Carmack and Romero went back in time to beat Call of Duty to the punch in creating the first First-Person Shooter.
  • The Fundamentalist: Frequent targets of the show.
  • Heroic BSoD: The entire universe has a literal one when MagicalPockyUsagi says that she is a Japanese princess reincarnated, stuck in a Caucasian body.
    Weasel: What the fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu...(universe logic error)
    • Logic Bomb: With the Apologetics, he yells "PARADOX PARADOX PARADOX", with the click of death and ending with an error window.
  • Hunter of His Own Kind: Weasel's whole schtick basically boils down to him making fun of people who cause problems on the internet: essentially, he's a Troll who exclusively trolls Trolls.
    Weasel: ...I'm a vindictive asshole who spends his time trolling other vindictive assholes on YouTube.
  • I Have Many Names: James the Preacher and Mariotehplumber, thanks to their accounts constantly getting banned.
    • Clevon America and Blood Stained Lane also have this case, but for different reasons.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: A recurring theme in the show
    • While feeding 0u75p0k3n, after he says that masturbation isn't natural since people don't have erections all the time, he immediately gets up and gets a beer in an unstated example of this.
    • Happens again with Monica Punk, after she states she's too talented to have a job. He leaves and lets the video play for a while and returns with an empty flask of whiskey.
    Weasel: The whole thing. Proceed...
  • Insane Troll Logic: Kind of a given with the premise, but the CoD Enlightenment Army possibly takes the cake, preaching wild conspiracy theories about the Illuminati trying to hide Call of Duty's status as the true original First-Person Shooter. Other fine examples include:
    • 0u75p0k3n: "Because I don't masturbate, I can literally get away with murder."
    • YoureComment: "Playing my superior, ultimate Xbox 360 with 8 billion core processor..."
    • Caiden Cowger: "Obama is turning all of America gay."
    • Trisha Paytas: "Dogs don't have brains because they can't speak."
    • MegaSage: "The Sun revolves around the Earth because if you wind up an old-fashioned clock, the key spins, and if you hold it by the key, the clock spins. But either way, that key is spinning."
    • "Halloween is a new age liberal atheist communist Illuminati plot to promote communism, devil worship and Big Government. Or...something."
    • PS3InDaPleezle somehow uses the One-Hit Wonder rapper Soulja Boy to claim that the police, the US military and the FBI are suppressing freedom in the US and goes on about how WW2, Hitler, Hiroshima and Nagasaki are related to the subject at hand. Weasel, at the end of the video, says that he was one of the most dumbest trolls he has ever done, primarily due to the fact how nothing he said related to Soulja Boy.
    • Just QuasiLuminous in general.
  • Internet Cold Reader: Krapplefag.
  • Internet Tough Guy: Many of the trolls fed.
  • It's Personal: Pat McCrory's episode was a big case of this, given that his actions screwed up North Carolina, where he lives, and poisoned the water supply.
  • Literal-Minded: Weasel's a fan of doing this for humor purposes; his 3PACTV video in particular using a LOT in response to the troll's slang.
  • Metaphorically True: Coach Dave tries to justify his homophobia (while mocking the argument that gay people are simply born that way) by claiming that he was "born this way" as well. While Weasel is pointing that you can't be born with preset notions of the outside world, he clarifies later in the video that he became a Christian and was born again this way.
  • Monster Clown: Peckcella von Peter.
  • Mugging the Monster: YMMV on how much of a 'monster' the COD Enlightenment Army is in the big scheme of things, but it's quite clear that Weasel had NO idea what he was getting into when he fed them.
    • It did result in Weasel getting his own dedicated troll in the form of AdvancedEdition.
  • My God, You Are Serious: His reaction to Mega Sage, a Geocentrist, after discovering he was 100% serious about his beliefs.
  • Nightmare Fuel: In-universe. Weasel considers Peckcella von Peter to be unequivocally this.
    Weasel: This is CuteFuzzyWeasel saying never ever send me someone like that AGAIN.
  • Occidental Otaku: MagicalPockyUsagi is really bad in that regard, constantly speaking in a broken Japanese (which she believes to be flawless) and pretending to be Japanese despite being obviously Caucasian, something she tries to explain by being the reincarnation of a Japanese princess stuck in a Caucasian body. Ironically, she is incredibly dismissive and contemptuous of weeaboos. She is not a weeaboo, you see. She is Japanese. Born to Caucasian parents, but Japanese.
  • Oh, Crap!: His first impression of Peckcella von Peter is this, although with a slightly...stronger expletive.
    Weasel: Oh... fuck...what is that...?!?
  • Oncea Season: Every season has...
    • A Halloween special
    • A Christmas special
    • A Top Ten Trolls of the Year video after the season
    • A video on Caiden Cowger (excluding Season 2, although Season 4 has two)
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: In a few episodes he has to deal with a troll so vile he can't bring himself to even think of his usual quips and instead just how terrible said person is.
  • Overly Long Gag: The "Meanwhile In The Middle Ages..." segment during the MagicalPockyUsagi episode goes on for well over a minute and a half.
  • Pyrrhic Victory: Makes a case for this when it comes to Lord Steven Christ, who came out as "The Best Troll Ever" after 15 years of acting like a complete whackjob tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist and destroying his reputation in the process.
  • Psychopathic Man Child: Brought up when he revisits Mariotehplumber. With all of his violent, screeching antics, Weasel had him pegged at being at most in his teens, but when he finally appears on-screen he looks like he's in his early 20's.
  • Rage Quit: He quits Episode 64 when Beck declares that "liking videogames" is equal to "doing drugs".
    • Brought up in his final feeding of James The Preacher. He mentioned doing this in the original, unposted version of the video, at the point where James blamed the Sandy Hook shooting on moms not staying home at school.
  • Rapid-Fire "No!": In Episode 57. You'll know when it comes up.
  • Running Gag: CuteFuzzyWeasel makes claim to being an android from the future, working with evil machines with the stated goal of 'kill all humans'. Which fits in with the moments listed in Heroic BSoD.
    • Another whenever a troll says something incomprehensible, whether being too loud or too soft: Weasel takes a good amount of time trying to translate.
    MagicalPockyUsagi: (Whispering) Because I am Japanese.
    Weasel: You like to lick trees?!?
    MagicalPockyUsagi: Because I am Japanese.
    Weasel: Your privates are covered with bees?!?
    3PACTV: Yeah, fuck Kendrick Lamar.
    Weasel: Cannonball narc?
    3PACTV: Kendrick Lamar.
    Weasel: Canonical bark?
    3PACTV: Kendrick Lamar.
    Weasel: Cannibal Clark?!? I'm not sure you wanna fuck around with someone called "Cannibal Clark"; that seems like a bad idea!
    Mariotehplumber: You're gonna learn to remove the videos!
    Weasel: Get a law to remove Tostitos?
    Mariotehplumber: You're gonna learn to remove the videos!
    Weasel: Eat some moldy mashed burritos?
    Mariotehplumber: You're gonna learn to remove the videos!
    Weasel: Kill a man with a rope made of Fritos?
    Mariotehplumber: You're gonna learn to remove the videos!
    Weasel: Oh, make sure Han doesn't shoot Greedo! I'm sure all we have to do is wait for the next Special Edition.
    • 'X is a rip off of CoD'
    • Every time Irvin Baxter says something to invoke fear in his viewers, ('Is there any hope left', 'Only God can help us now'), Weasel inserts an earlier clip of Irvin saying "But I also don't want to talk about it with fear either".
    • Weasel's "Are You Serious" face, reserved for the craziest of Insane Troll Logic: you'll know it when you see it.
    • Blaming Obama for everything in order to make fun of how often his trolls do it.
    • Asking how long is left of a video he's commenting on and then becoming disheartened once he's told how long.
  • Self-Deprecation: He often inverts this by selling himself up to be perfect and flawless, Played for Laughs of course. Although he still insults himself just as often as any YouTuber does, especially on his weight. His April Fools day special, however, takes it Upto Eleven.
    • In the video, an alternate dimension version of Weasel (known as UglyBaldBadger) hosts a show called Agreeing With the Trolls, where he says obviously inflammatory things (i.e. Trump 2016 and Justin Beiber being the best musician ever) and generally acts like an ass. The video itself involves Badger commentating on a vlog Weasel made back in 2014 ranting about the music at Panera Bread. The riffs vary from being humorous, to shockingly harsh and critical, to borderline revealing!
  • Shout-Out: He claims that the Go!Animate White House audience members are actually attendees of a meeting for people suffering from Youngblood's Disease.
  • Special Guest: ...of sorts. While he usually covers internet trolls, he's also done videos about celebrity figures such as Ted Nugent, Glenn Beck, and Donald Trump.
  • Stay in the Kitchen: James the Preacher. To the point where he blamed a school shooting happening on mothers having jobs other than 'stay at home mom'. As well as saying that it's the fault of the parents for letting kids go to public school in the first place and it wouldn't have happened with home-schooling (Ignoring the fact that the shooter was himself home-schooled).
  • Synthetic Voice Actor: Appears a lot, usually in the CoD Enlightenment Army's videos, where the text-to-speech program used will frequently mangle its lines to produce incomprehensible gibberish.
    • xXTheAmazingMasterOfSwag also had this. It ended up causing a lot of laughs with Weasel due to the weird synthetic voice it gave.
  • Tempting Fate: When Irvin Baxter talks about euthanasia:
    Weasel: [...] But I can tell you this: if your point ends up being Hitler, I'm gonna punch you in the nuts.
    And immediately afterwards:
    Weasel: .........Well, shit. Okay, you get a pass, but only because I think they've turned to dust by now!
  • This Is Gonna Suck: At the intro of Peckcella Von Peter's vid, with the creepy toybox music and everything.
    Weasel: Why do I get the feeling this is gonna come back to me in my dreams?
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Weasel's intro has him throwing a pizza and lighting it on fire (except Season 4, which he just drops the pizza on the camera). It fits in with the theme of "feeding" the trolls.
  • Uncanny Valley: [In-Universe] Weasel is seriously disturbed by the Go! Animate White House audience.
  • UST: He theorizes that ConservativeElite's video is a big Freudian deceleration of love to Caiden Cowger. This terrifies Weasel.
  • Wardrobe Malfunction: Occurs in one video set on Talk Like A Pirate Day, when he got a costume for the occasion. The parrot that goes with it refused to stay on his shoulder as the straps to it broke and the eyepatch falls apart too. He then becomes worried and suggests that the hat he's wearing might just disintegrate. He actually lampshades this in his Top 10 Trolls for 2013 video, naming the store he bought the costumes from as an honorable mention troll and wonders what else the other things he bought from the shop might have done.
  • You Are Not Alone: Paul Joseph Watson made a video where he basically makes fun of any and everyone who publicly admitted their depression. A lot of Weasel's counters are essentially him reassuring depressed members of his audience that what Paul is saying is bullshit and that it's okay for them to be sad, get help, and be secure enough to admit they have problems.
    Weasel: If you are secure enough to admit when you have a problem, that is strength. It's actually kind of a weakness to ignore your emotions and instead create this wall of fake stoicness. Because that's you relying on an act.
  • Your Princess Is in Another Castle!: Used to great comedic effect at the end of his first episode on SimplyVegan, where SimplyVegan's video appears to end at first and Weasel starts to wrap up the video. Then... SimplyVegan starts rapping. Weasel couldn't possibly hold back the laughter.

Anyways, if you got a troll you'd like me to feed, list them in the comments below. And as always, have a good day.

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