Hello. I have noticed that the text on this page makes no sense whatsoever. Oh well...
Porschelemans' place of abode is constantly changing, as is Porschelemans age, although at the time of writing Porschelemans is currently proving a nuisance to the residents of Utrecht, The Netherlands.
I like things which I like, as they are, quite simply, things that I like. In other words, this page provides a highly accurate portrait of me and my humble existence, and will give you a far deeper understanding of my activities both on TV Tropes and in the universe at large.
Anyway, Porschelemans is a rather small person currently trapped in the wrong universe. If you know how I can return to my home universe please send a message to my account. Otherwise, enjoy reading what little is left of my page, and remember the one great prophecy, DON'T CLIMB IN A TUMBLE DRIER!
- Action Hero
- Adaptational Villainy
- Air Guns - There is no better way to annoy people at fairgrounds than to repeatedly win at the shooting range...
- Air Travel
- Almighty Janitor
- Always Male
- Annoying Laugh
- Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
- As Himself
- Aspergers Syndrome - Diagnosed BY A PROFESSIONAL!
- Badass Baritone
- Badass Driver
- Bearer of Bad News
- Big Ego, Hidden Depths
- Born Lucky
- Brilliant, but Lazy
- Cat Communication
- Cat Girl
- Children Are a Waste
- Contemplate Our Navels
- Convenience Store Gift Shopping
- Cuteness Proximity
- The Cynic
- Dark and Troubled Past
- Deadpan Snarker
- Designated Hero
- Dreadful Musician - Even if others say I'm not...
- Dynamic Character
- Face of the Band
- The Fighting Narcissist
- Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Fun Personified
- Gainax Ending
- G.I.R.L. - Unintentionally.
- God in Human Form
- Go-Karting with Bowser
- Good with Numbers
- History Of The Cold War
- Hypercompetent Sidekick
- I Am What I Am
- Ideal Hero
- Ignore The Fanservice
- I Just Want to Be Special
- Inexplicably Awesome
- Innocent Bystander
- Insufferable Genius
- Jerkass Dissonance
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold
- The Knights Who Say "Squee!" - Doctor Robotnik, Gendo, Andross, Matthew Patel, The King...
- Laborious Laziness
- Loony Friends Improve Your Personality
- Lovable Nerd
- Mathematician's Answer
- The Messiah
- Millionaire Playboy
- Mismatched Eyes
- My Name Is Not Jimmy!!!
- Mysterious Past
- Naked on Arrival
- Not a Morning Person
- Not Good with People
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business
- Only Sane Employee
- A Pirate 400 Years Too Late
- The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
- Pretty Boy
- Recurring Dreams
- Rei Ayanami Expy
- Ridiculous Procrastinator
- Rockers Smash Guitars - Averted. Very much averted...
- She Is All Grown Up
- Shorter Means Smarter
- Sickly Neurotic Geek
- Small, Annoying Creature
- Standard '50s Father
- Staying Out of Legal Trouble
- Taste the Rainbow
- The Teetotaler
- Testosterone Poisoning
- Title Sequence
- The Magazine Rule
- The Trickster
- They Fight Crime!
- Those Two Guys
- Too Quirky to Lose
- Tsundere - Type B
- Typical Tentacle Tactics
- Unreliable Narrator
- Victim Blaming
- Villain with Good Publicity
- Women Are Wiser
- Xanatos Speed Chess
- Young Future Famous People
- Adventure Time
- Angry Beavers
- Azumanga Daioh
- The Beatles
- Blade Runner
- Close Encounters Of The Third Kind
- The Cure
- Fawlty Towers
- Hayao Miyazaki
- The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
- Jean Pierre Jeunet
- Monty Python
- Neon Genesis Evangelion
- Oscar Wilde
- The Powerpuff Girls
- Serial Experiments Lain
- Sponge Bob Square Pants
- Star Trek
- Star Wars
- Talking Heads
- Terry Gilliam
- TV Tropes
- "People not aware of the genius of Oscar Wilde don't deserve opinions..."
- "Yet another Nietzche inspired electronic pop song saturates the market"
- "How the hell had I not heard Aphex Twin until this week??? PLEASE GET ME TO A RECORD SHOP!"
- "Thisisnowmysignatureyouwilleatlampsyugoslaviawasacountrysnamecuboids arelike3Drectangles3.1415ispigainaxending"
Awkward... So... Umm... There's a very tall young Japanese woman in my bed... Should I wake her up? Hmm...
(She wakes up. Rolls about a bit, and then realises she's in bed with a total stranger, and tightens up. Upon seeing my facial expression she realises I am no threat, begins speaking Japanese before noticing that I am European, and proceeds to attempt at communication using the English she learnt in school)
"Who are you?"
"Umm... I'm porschelemans, who are you?"
"My name... is Sakaki... I am from Tōkyō... Umm..."
(She blushes and looks down)
"I don't know how we ended up like this... Do you know?"
"I... Many... Neko... Running, hiding, tired..."
"You were escaping from cats and jumped in through my open bedroom window before collapsing on my bed? I'm not sure whether to believe you or not..."
"You speak Japanese?"
"I know that Neko means cat, Shonen means boy, and Nippon means Japan, but no, not really."
(Osaka appears in window, and cries "Sakaki-San" before shouting more stuff in Japanese, seemingly to people outside.)
"OK, this is weird... What's with all the young Japanese women appearing? Should I just go back to sleep... Fuck it..."
(I grab my phone and call my best friend to ask her what the hell I should do.)
(I turn to Sakaki to see what she wants, she turns to Osaka and says something in Japanese, before Osaka repeatedly calls out "Chiyo-Chan", one assumes in an attempt to get someone called Chiyo to turn up. An awkward silence follows. Eventually a younger red headed girl appears in the window. Sakaki talks to her, and the younger girl then starts talking to me.)
"So, porschelemans, it seems Sakaki here has been of an inconvenience to you. We were visiting Europe when Sakaki encountered an angry pack of stray cats which chased her cross country for 2 days... She climbed through your bedroom window to escape from them and then collapsed from exhaustion on your bed... Please forgive us porschelemans!"
"Sure... Just... Umm..."
(Tomo and Kagura come smashing through the door, with an irritable looking Yomi following them)
"Tell those two they're paying for a new front door!"
"That's it. I'm phoning [REDACTED] and staying with her... This town isn't safe..."
- Heya! -Mokona Zero
- Hi again! -Mokona Zero
- Twice is good. Twice is very good. S Bane N
- Again? How is this again? Regardless, the Sword of March is... somewhere in March. - S Bane N
- Kolmandaks liikme koer! Eesti vandaal, ära! - starfy64
- And now... you have been vandalized. - S Bane N
- Argh blargh, yar consider yerself ta 'ave been vandalized, yar! ~Obviously a pirate
- Vandalized vandalized vandalized. The Bane of Stationary has struck again!
- I, Shane "Bane" Neumann, have struck yet again. And then it's a times two combo, as well. Weird.
- Hi! Want to pet the kitty? - Nine-Tailed Cat
- Yea, though I charge through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil, for I carry a metric-fuckton of manic metallic murder. ~Dhana Ragnarok
- Makes no sense eh?- Wildcard
- Unprettier wuz here
- Help I'm drowning in a bottle ship and I can't get out!-Xiphos Orochi 666
- So, we meet again... Unprettier
- Vandalized by S Bane N. So how are you?
- Fine, thank you. I'm eating toast. - Porschelemans
- I was about to yell "Abtalaarmastoki!" but that would be obscene. ~Dhana Ragnarok
- ... Vandalized yet again. Currently, the randomness isn't flowing free... - S Bane N
- ... but the carpet was set on fire by the drapes because apparently it contained a Fire Elemental... - S Bane N
- Be honest, do you think◊ these are cool?◊ -Landorkus
- I honestly have no idea what to say Porschelemans
- Belgium salutes you. - Karasu91
- Helo im fludig ur fldAr wTh tPos1 -Erl f sAndwick
Our Lady, who art in North High School.
We pray that you are happy with your creation.
We pray that you are happy with yourself.
We pray that like you we will strive to save the world by overloading it with fun in your name.
May you be guided in your infinite eccentricity by your friends.
We pray to the aliens. May the Data Overmind protect you with its infinite knowledge.
We pray to the time travellers. May they let us know of what is to come and how to make it even better.
We pray to the espers. May they protect us from the destruction of the Celestials and from Closed Spaces.
We pray to the rest of humanity. Let us share in our fun, for making you happy makes us happy.
Please remembers us in our prays.