Funny / SpongeBob SquarePants Season 5

SpongeBob SquarePants Main Funny Page
Seasons: Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4 | Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Season 8 | Season 9 | Season 10 | Season 11 | Season 12 | Season 13
Movies: The Spongebob Squarepants Movie | Sponge Out of Water | Sponge on the Run
Other: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman | Employee of the Month | Battle for Bikini Bottom | Lights, Camera, Pants!

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Ever seen this in your house? ^note Probably not...

81 - Friend or Foe

• When his plan is foiled at the beginning, Plankton tries to escape with a jetpack, only to say "Oh, barnacles." when he pulls the ripcord and sees that it's on upside-down, causing it to launch him through the floor.
• The reveal that Stinky is Secretly Wealthy.
  Stinky: A-As it is, I can barely afford the essential things in life. (watch beeps) Is it quittin' time already?! (rips off apron to reveal a pimped-out suit) Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy some of... life's essentials.

82A - The Original Fry Cook

• Jim keeps flushing many Krabby Patties that aren't up to his standards. SpongeBob becomes so fed up with his rejections that he runs out of the bathroom crying. A customer walks by, sees the toilet backed up and shouts "Aw, man!"
• SpongeBob quits his job and says goodbye to everything in the kitchen. He starts counting the frozen Krabby Patties, leading to a time card reading "298 Frozen Patties Later..."

82B - Night Light

• The very opening lines where SpongeBob reads a passage on a scary novel.
  SpongeBob: And slowly... Ever so slowly... The ancient crypt door creeps open... And from the festering brine of the darkest darkness, crawled forth monsters of such vile nature, whose appearance was so hideous and threatening, that the author died trying to recount them in this novel!

83A - Rise and Shine

• Patrick: "I gotta put on my teeth and brush my pants!"
  • Actually, everything about Patrick's morning routine. And when SpongeBob asks about his morning, he says, "Oh, you know. The usual."

83B - Waiting

• To get a free prize offer, SpongeBob has to send in 99 Kelpo box tops; it then cuts to him eating several boxes of Kelpo while simultaneously saving the tops; Gary then abruptly prompts him with a suggestion: Send in the box tops before eating all the cereal.
• Patrick brings some cake and a present back from SpongeBob's birthday party, which the latter missed while waiting for his package. Patrick eats the cake slice while looking for a fork. Then, when SpongeBob asks what the present is, Patrick opens it, and it's the fork!

84A - Spy Buddies

• This episode rivals Animaniacs' "Potty Emergency" for how cruel it is with its Toilet Humour.
  Patrick: SpongeBob... I have to go!
  SpongeBob: Oh, can't you go later?!
  Patrick: My laser pants aren't working right! (blasts away a napkin holder and salt shaker)
  Plankton: Can I interest you in a raspberry iced tea?
  Patrick: N-No thanks!
  Plankton: Or perhaps a bran muffin?
  Patrick: (groans in agony) SpongeBob, I have to go now!
  Plankton: Prune danish? (Patrick grunts) What the- (dozens of lasers destroy the Chum Bucket)

84B - Boat Smarts

• Crash Test Dummy Squidward.
• All the demonstrations of SpongeBob's terrible driving.

84C - Good Ol' Whatshisname

• What Zit Tooya. Enough said.

85A - New Digs

• Mr Krabs accidentally walking in on SpongeBob's mom in the shower and his shocked reaction and him getting kicked out of his office by SpongeBob's dad.
• The ending where Squidward moves into the Krusty Krab.

85B - Krabs à la Mode

• Krabs flipping out over his thermostat, just going to show how cheap he is.
  Mr. Krabs: WHOOOOOOO... TOUUUUUCHED... MEEEE... THERMOSTAAAAAAT?!
  (everyone in the restaurant points at Squidward)
  Squidward: Oh, thanks a—(Mr. Krabs grabs him)
  SpongeBob: You're welcome, Squidward!
• Plankton freezing the Krusty Krab with as much gusto as possible.
  Plankton: (overfills the sink) Into every life, a little rain must fall, KRABS!!! It's just business! (opens the freezer door) Well... maybe it is personal. (lowers the temperature) I'm touching your thermostat! I'm touching your thermostat! (laughs)
  • Oh, and Old Man Walker leaving the bathroom before Plankton freezes the place.
    Old Man Walker: (futilely pushes on the front doors) Locked in again!
• Later, Mr. Krabs still believes it's 62 degrees by looking at the thermostat and seeing a post-it note left by Plankton over the readout saying so.
  Mr. Krabs: The temperature stays at 62 degrees.
  Squidward: There are ICICLES hanging from the ceiling!
  Mr. Krabs: I don't care if Santy Claus and Jack Frost are having ice cream cones! Don't. Touch. The thermostat!
• This happens one more time when Plankton gets physically thwarted in his efforts to steal a Krabby Patty, and he can't take it anymore:
  Mr. Krabs: You lose again, Plankton!
  Plankton: I'm not giving up yet, Krabs. I've still got my secret weapon: (jumps on the thermostat) the thermostat!
  Mr. Krabs: (gasps in alarm) The thermostat!
  Plankton: That's right, Krabs. It was I who froze the Krusty Krab. (removes the post-it note, revealing the temperature's readout to be -15 degrees) See?
  Mr. Krabs: (gasps again, then becomes furious) You've gone too far, Plankton! You can pound me employees, try to destroy me restaurant... but nobody messes with me thermostat!!!
  (Krabs charges at Plankton to attack, only for Plankton to continuously alternate the thermostat between hot and cold, so that the ice alternately melts and freezes, trapping everyone in ice)
• Amid his smug looks and laughter while constantly switching the thermostat, Plankton ends up falling off into the water where Mr. Krabs, in turn, freezes him.
  • Later, Plankton is seen in an ice cube of a drink Mr. Krabs is holding, thanking his rival for helping improve business and wondering if he has any more ideas to help before sipping his drink. Plankton’s scream of frustration is priceless.

86A - Roller Cowards

• SpongeBob and Patrick manage to be afraid of The Mitten, a ride intended for young children which is a short track with one bump. When they get off, a toddler they were riding with ridicules them.
• Patrick being afraid of Glovey Glove, the Glove World mascot.
• On the Fiery Fist O' Pain, SpongeBob and Patrick go down a U-shaped drop and their skeletons fly out, then when they go up a peak that extends out of the sea, they have each other's skeletons.
• The Fiery Fist O' Pain ends with a straight vertical drop to the ground, resulting in an explosion. Patrick's rattled scream before it happens is what sells it.
• After surviving the ride, the ride attendant gives SpongeBob and Patrick back their spines, which came out when they were riding.
• Patrick and his reflection.
• The talking ice cream cone.

86B - Bucket Sweet Bucket

• The revelation that Krabs carries the Krabby Patty formula with him in a portable safe that he swallows while on vacation.

87A - To Love a Patty

• The rock love ballad SpongeBob sings to a Krabby Patty. It even opens and ends with the lyrics, "Oh baby..."
• The Gross-Up Close-Up shots of the increasingly-nasty Krabby Patty.
• SpongeBob gives a patron a grilled shoe which replaces a patty, and it's revealed that the patron loves "grilled shoes".

87B - Breath of Fresh Squidward

• Squidward is actually hilarious in this episode, especially in the very beginning, when he sounds like he's ready to explode. Most of this is credit towards Rodger Bumpass for going full Large Ham at times.
• SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward arguing after the former two were electrocuted and were given a Squidward-like personality.

88A - Money Talks

• Mr. Krabs invites SpongeBob and Squidward to sing with him.
  Squidward: Uh... No, thanks. Gotta go.
  SpongeBob: I really have to pee.

88C - Slimy Dancing

• The Cramp. Made even better by the epilogue.

89A - The Krusty Sponge

• After Mr. Krabs decides to theme the entire restaurant around SpongeBob to get more publicity and customers, we are treated to the absolutely priceless sight of a very (understandably) irritated Squidward wearing a ridiculous SpongeBob costume with his head forced into the thin hat area. SpongeBob, completely oblivious to his costume, excitedly asks Squidward where he got those awesome shoes he's wearing (the ones identical to his own), prompting Squidward to hiss at SpongeBob like a cat.

89B - Sing a Song of Patrick

• Patrick's EPIC song:
  Singer: Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star!
  I made myself a sandwich
  My mommy named it Fred
  It tastes like beans and bacon
  And it smells like it's been dead!
  Writing stuff is hard, so I use a pointy pencil
  Pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point!
  P.U., what's that horrible smell?
  DRUM SOLO!
  I have a head that ends in a point.
  Pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point.
  This song is over, except for this line
  You win this round, broccoli!
• And just WHAT happened to the band that recorded it?
  Guitarist: Come on, guys. We're going to do this if it kills us. A-one, a-two, and a- (cut to the cemetery where the band members are buried)
  Cemetery Manager: (grave voice) They wanted you to have this. (gives Patrick the record of his song)
  Patrick: My song!
• SpongeBob and Patrick try to get a radio station to play the song, then it cuts to them getting thrown out.
  SpongeBob: Did you see the look on his face?
  Patrick: Yeah. Did you see his ears?
  SpongeBob: I didn't know they could turn inside out like that.
• This moment:
  Man: This song reminds me of you.
  Song: ...P.U., what's that horrible smell? (woman hits man)
• "A Poem by Patrick Star":
  Child Patrick: Roses are blue, violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom. (eats the poem)
  Coach: How many times I gotta tell ya? THIS. IS. GYM CLASS. (blows whistle; a bunch of kids start throwing balls at Patrick and the flashback ends)
  Patrick: (shuddering) Dodgeball.
• "I hate my life."
  • "I hate your life too, dude."
• When Patrick was about to write a song, he uses his brain, which has very underused gears that produce horrible stench when they're suddenly being overworked from their slumber, which is smelled by Squidward, who is very displeased.
  Squidward: What is that horrible smell? Is Patrick thinking again?
• The town is in shambles from the terror of the song, fires are spreading from a fighter plane crashing into a fireworks factory, and how does Old Man Walker react?
  Old Man Walker: I like it! (jams to the song in front of the carnage)

90A - A Flea in Her Dome

• Patrick confusing Sandy with Squidward.
• When Sandy arrives home on the bus, SpongeBob's "Welcome Home, Sandy" song is cut short by the irritable bus driver who, according to Sandy, has a "fierce no-singing policy".
• Patrick thinking that a flea bite will turn him into a vampire.
• The moment when the flea kept jumping around from Sandy's body, to SpongeBob's body, and then to Patrick's body over and over again. The funniest part about that scene is when the flea jumps out of Patrick's belly and goes to Sandy. The flea flies into Sandy's right nostril. Sandy felt so uncomfortable that she closed her eyes and screamed. As she covered her face, the flea went all the way up her nose. Sandy opens her eyes in surprise and the flea crawls around the inside of her eyeballs, moving from Sandy's left eye to her right one. It then scratches Sandy's right eye from inside and Sandy screams in pain before grabbing the collar that gets rid of a flea from Patrick. That was pretty painful and embarrassing for Sandy, but hilarious!
• This scene after the fleas bite Patrick's stomach:
  Patrick: Oh boy! Connect the dots!
  (draws lines through the bites with a pencil)
  Patrick: I drawed a horsey!
  (close-up of the "horsey"◊)
• Now, here's an Overly Long Gag for the ages.
  Patrick: You know what?! None of this would've happened if you didn't come back with your infestation! All you've brought us is fleas, and trouble, and... pain, and... itching! And a rash! ...And pain! And... fleas, and... itching, and..... pain! SOOO! MUCH! PAAAIIIN! (weakly) ...So much pain!

90B - The Donut of Shame

• Patrick believes that he has an attic to hide SpongeBob's donut...before falling down to the fact that he has no attic at all. He does this a second time.
• The angel and devil donuts.
• The reason SpongeBob is not mad at Patrick for taking the donut? The donut was for him because the party they thrown was his own birthday.

90C - The Krusty Plate

• SpongeBob trying to remove a ridiculously stubborn spot from one of Krusty Krab's plates. It gets to the point where SpongeBob has to use a high power laser weapon called the "Spot-Master 6000" to remove it... and it ends up destroying the entire restaurant.
  • For extra emphasis, we're treated to another use of the Bikini Atoll bomb test.

91A - Goo Goo Gas

• The fact that Mr. Krabs was able to see past Plankton's clever disguise, because...
  Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.
  Plankton: Hmm... (looks at the P) Perhaps a pepper shaker was a bit obvious.
  Mr. Krabs: Ya' think?
• After seeing a mother tease her baby from taking away their formula, Plankton realizes something.
  Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother.
  • Just the fact that the mother pretty much gives the idea to Plankton by just so happening to say that her baby is so small and helpless and of all things, that she could take their formula as an example, AKA the one thing Plankton strives to get from Mr. Krabs, without them able to do anything about it.
• SpongeBob calls the cops on Plankton, but he easily escapes because the cuffs are too big for him.
  • Note this happens because Plankton decided to speak outloud how his plan is going perfectly, he turned Mr. Krabs into a baby and plans on stealing the secret formula while SpongeBob is standing just a few feet a way.
• Plankton referring to an elderly Mr. Krabs as "Methuselah".
• The absolute Mundane Made Awesome of Old SpongeBob and Old Mr. Krabs knitting Plankton into a net trap, only for other elderly people to bash Plankton with their walkers like a piñata, all set to the tune of "El Jarabe Tapatio".
• Plankton out shopping for baby powder.
  Plankton: Hey, buddy! Is this made of real or artificial babies?
• When Plankton turns Karen into a baby, she becomes a calculator that spells out "07734" (hELLO).

91B - Le Big Switch

• SpongeBob tries his hardest to make food other than Krabby Patties, but constantly fails at doing so. Chopping vegetables? He makes a Krabby Patty. Bake a souffle? He pulls it out of the oven to find a Krabby Patty. Breaking an egg into a pan? It spontaneously poofs into a Krabby Patty before his eyes.

92 - Atlantis SquarePantis

• The intro where Patchy yells at a guy behind him saying "Do you mind?! I'm trying to talk to my parrot!", with the guy making a very disturbed look on his face.
• The moment where Patchy says, "What the f..." and he suddenly has cartoon eyes that break through his sunglasses when he is suddenly in the desert.
• "I'm Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! And I like... um... uh, I don't know what I like."
• This bit of Deadpan Snark from Plankton.
  Plankton: These Atlanteans leave a room full of the most advanced weaponry unguarded?! No wonder they got lost.
• A tank somehow matching Plankton's shoes, which have treads.
• This little homage to Super Mario 64.
  Squidward: This painting is so realistic! It looks like you could step straight into it.
  LRH: Well, you can! (chucks Squidward into the painting)
• Considering this is coming from the mouth of Ziggy Stardust, Halloween Jack, and the Goblin King... yup.
  LRH: If there's one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it's a healthy dose of dark humor!
• Plankton unleashing his wrath via a stolen Atlantean tank, only to find it had long ago been modified to only shoot... well, as a delighted Patrick puts it, "Plankton's wrath tastes like ice cream!".

93A - Picture Day

• SpongeBob, on his second attempt to leave the house clean, is grasped by garbage truck arm and dunked into the garbage haul. SpongeBob returns to the ground, shocked as suddenly his parasol opens up with more trash falling out. Squidward, who was outside at the time getting his paper, laughs. And then SpongeBob coughs out a garbage bag, and the scene cuts just before Squidward laughs harder.

93B - Pat No Pay

• After Patrick eats a ton of Krabby Patties and has a Balloon Belly, he has this bit of smart-ass snark.
  Patrick: What's that?
  Mr. Krabs: It's your bill.
  Patrick: I don't have any money.
  Mr. Krabs: What?! I thought you said you could pay for it!
  Patrick: Oh, I'm paying for it alright. (belches)

93C - BlackJack

• The Running Gag of Uncle Captain Blue mishearing SpongeBob's pleas for help as wanting to do chores for him.
  • Also when SpongeBob finally gets through to Blue, he agrees to drive him all the way to Blackjack's house... which turns out to be literally right next to his own house.
• The revelation that Blackjack was sent to prison for littering.

94A - Blackened Sponge

• SpongeBob's dream of being muscular and fighting Jack M. Crazyfish while a damsel in distress is tied to the train tracks.
• SpongeBob's lies about getting a black eye from fighting Jack M. Crazyfish because he didn't want anyone to know that he got his black eye from using a wrench to open a tube of toothpaste.
  • It should be noted that when he told someone the real story first, his snail Gary tried but failed to not laugh uncontrollably after SpongeBob told him what happened. The best he could do was leave so his owner couldn't hear him laughing.
• At the point where SpongeBob is Becoming the Mask, we have this hilarious exchange.
  SpongeBob: Alright, folks, listen up! 'Cause I'm only gonna say this once! Tough guys don't like to repeat themselves. I'm talkin' to you, Grandma! (old woman puts down mustard) Now, I suppose all of you are wondering... how I got this black eye.
  Squidward: Not really.
  SpongeBob: Alright, who said that?! Was it you, Grandma?! (old lady shakes her head)
  Squidward: It was me! I said it!
  SpongeBob: (turns and hisses; Squidward is disgusted by SpongeBob's black eye)

94B - Mermaid Man vs. SpongeBob

• Mermaid Man when he is under mind control:
  Mermaid Man: Ooh, a Krabby Patty! Would you look at that, Barnacle Boy? It's a Krabby Patty. Why, these things are... EVIL!
  Fish: (as his wife prepares to eat a Krabby Patty) SUSIE! NOOOO!
• Plankton playing with the Barnacle Boy pencil topper and Mermaid Man action figure in the Krusty Kids Meal and using them to beat up an image of Mr. Krabs on the cardboard box.
• Plankton (as a salesman) tries to convince that MM and BB both have dandruff using washing machine soap. He goes "eww" when he saw that Barnacle Boy already had dandruff that was both convincing and unplanned.
• The Spine Blaster.

95A - The Inmates of Summer

• Just the fact that R. Lee Ermey voiced, who else, a Drill Sergeant Nasty in this episode. And he appears to be having a blast.
• The warden of the prison brings SpongeBob and Patrick two tires when the two of them complain about being hungry. To the utter shock of everyone, the two hungrily dig in and enjoy the meal
  Inmate: Ohhhh, these guys are tough...

95B - To Save a Squirrel

• SpongeBob and Patrick insist to Sandy that Squidward complimented them on their survival skills. The flashback then reveals that Squidward actually told them that they were harder to get rid of than cockroaches. We also see Squidward with voodoo dolls of SpongeBob and Patrick and complaining about the dolls not working.

96 - Pest of the West

• Dead Eye Plankton and SpongeBuck have a Showdown at High Noon... that ends with the latter unintentionally stepping on the former.

97A - 20,000 Patties Under the Sea

• The Con Man from "Chocolate with Nuts" is back. And what does he do? Refuse SpongeBob and Patrick's offer of a Krabby Patty enough times, where the two, out of desperation, pay him to take Krabby Patties off their hands. Some things just never change.
• Plankton is trying to sell a Chum Burger to a little boy, but when the boy gets annoying, Plankton insults him and his family. He roasts them GOOD.
  Plankton: Hello, little boy, would you like a Chum Burger?
  Boy: Uh...does it come in raspberry?
  Plankton: Eh...no.
  Boy: Blueberry?
  Plankton: No.
  Boy: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... raspberry?
  Plankton: Aw, come on, kid, you asked me that already, now quit wasting my time!
  Mom: Hey! You can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are?!
  Plankton: I'm Plankton, you old hag, and your son smells like boogers!
  Dad: Hey! You can't talk to my wife that way! What do you think this is?!
  Plankton: I think it's time to for you to lose some weight, fatty, THAT's what it is!
  Grandma: Hey, you can't talk to my grandson like that! Someone oughta put you in a mental hospital!
  Plankton: SOMEONE SHOULD PUT YOU IN A BOX FLOATIN' DOWN THE RIVER, GRANDMA!
  Grandma: (beat) You're probably right.
• As a response, the family throws rocks at Plankton, and when they run out, SpongeBob offers them burnt Krabby Patties to replace them. Couldn’t have been more deserving for such harsh words?
• Plankton singing about “[sinking] the Krusty Krab” and crashing the bucket hand into the cliff wall.
• The sea monster mistaking Plankton for a chocolate eclair and chasing him down.
• In a meta example, the fact that they got Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed to guest star in this episode. Getting Gene Simmons, the lead guitarist of KISS, is already impressive enough, but Shannon Tweed?

97B - The Battle of Bikini Bottom

• One moment is at the beginning, in which SpongeBob and Patrick are trying on different shirts, but Patrick freaks out when noticing that he and SpongeBob wearing shirts that read "Best Friend" with arrows pointing not at each other.
  Patrick: (noticing that his shirt's arrow is pointed toward a female fish) NOOOOO!! You're not my best friend!
  SpongeBob: We gotta ditch these outfits! They're sending out the wrong signals!
  (they tear up their shirts and stomp on them - and are promptly kicked out of the mall)
• Various parts of SpongeBob and Patrick's fight stand out. One example:
  Patrick: Taste pit, evildoer!
  (raises his arm so that his armpit hair grabs SpongeBob and pulls him in to rub him against Patrick's armpit, leaving SpongeBob's face quite filthy)
  SpongeBob: You're a stinky, stinky sea star.
• Another example is when Patrick somehow manages to grow a nose so he can pick it! SpongeBob freaks out at this sight, then runs for his life, Patrick giving chase.
  SpongeBob: (Patrick chases him into the Krusty Krab kitchen) Run, Mr. Krabs! Patrick is digging for gold!
  Mr. Krabs: Gold? (giggles)
  (runs into the kitchen, in search of the gold in question, but comes out with nothing)
  Squidward: Did you get any of Patrick's "gold"?
  Mr. Krabs: He's not digging for any gold I'm looking for.
  • Oh, and if one were to pay close attention, you can see the door opening before Mr. Krabs pushes it.
• One more example, once in the kitchen...
  Patrick: (taking a Krabby Patty) See this?
  SpongeBob: A Krabby Patty? What are you gonna do, eat it?
  Patrick: Oh, I'm not going to eat it...
  (he stretches out this Krabby Patty and a second one and puts them on his feet)
  SpongeBob: (terrified) No, not patty socks!
  Patrick: (stomping around in them) That's right - your precious patties on my stinky feet!
  SpongeBob: You better stop that!
  Patrick: (jumping around, laughing) Stinky little feet!
  SpongeBob: (anger building up inside him) YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!
  (SpongeBob turns red with rage, inflates himself and literally explodes, blowing up the Krusty Krab and sending Patrick flying)
  Patrick: HOPPIN' CLAAAAAAAMS!!

98 - What Ever Happened to SpongeBob?

• "I don't know. I've been knocking on his door for three hours. I need his hot sauce for my milkshake."
• The WhoBob WhatPants intro
• Squidward throwing away his brain in the trash can.
• The Mailman gets distracted by SpongeBob after he said "Hi" to him, and he later gets injured by crashing into a truck.

99A - The Two Faces of Squidward

• This classic Brick Joke:
  Flying Fish: Oh no, my shoe's untied! (shoe falls)
  SpongeBob: (much later) Squidward, look out for that falling shoe!
• There's also the scene where SpongeBob constantly keeps interrupting the doctor every time the latter attempts to unwrap Squidward's bandaged face.
• Ridiculously handsome Squidward in general. The sight of him is so jarringly hilarious that it's no wonder he became a meme.
  • The fact that hitting Squidward repeatedly with a door somehow causes him to grow chest hair and his shirt to transform into a leotard with a belt as part of his ridiculously handsome appearance.

99B - SpongeHenge

• The return of "My fingers are too big for the buttons."
• The Gainax Ending which jumps 3000 years into the future where an alien race is studying the stone SpongeBobs, unaware of why they're here other than the reason they attract jellyfish.

100A - Banned in Bikini Bottom

• SpongeBob's "I Love Krabby Patties" song.
• To some, Mr. Krab's Freak Out over The Krusty Krab's initial closedown is kind of funny. Especially when he screams, "I'M RUINED", before scuttling away.
• Plankton's reaction to the Krusty Krab being shut down:
  Plankton: The Krusty Krab has changed its name to "The Closed Krab"!
• Patrick's Trust Password to the new secret Krusty Krab:
  Patrick: What's the password, please?
  Plankton: What are you talking about, you gargantuan buffoon?
  Patrick: That's it. (opens the door) Come right in.
  Plankton: Curse you! (falls down on his ladder)

100B - Stanley S. SquarePants

• Uncle Sherm's letter, especially the last three words SpongeBob doesn't read aloud:
  "Dear SpongeBob. I'm sending your cousin Stanley to live with you. He can't hold down a job and he ruins everything he touches. I can't take it anymore. Maybe you can straighten him out. Love, Uncle Sherm. I'm free, FREE!"
• SpongeBob tries introducing his cousin Stanley to Squidward — who immediately decides to move away:
  SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward. I'd like you to meet my cousin Stanley.
  Stanley: We're related.
  Squidward: There's two of them?! AAAAAAAAAH! (runs inside his house, gathers all his things, puts a For Sale sign out in front, and throws his stuff inside the Bikini Bottom Movers Truck that stops by before stepping inside) STEP ON IT! (drives away)
  • Doubly funny in that Squidward knew Stanley was a menace just by meeting him and hearing he's related to SpongeBob. Because that's his only appearance in this episode, Squidward seriously lucked out avoiding Stanley's chronic bad luck and stupidity, unlike everyone else.
• When Stanley gets his first customer (Harold), he decides to take a picture of him and Harold as a memento, and then he takes pictures of them in silly outfits (sombreros, explorer outfits, and finally bride and groom).
  • Later, Mr. Krabs tells SpongeBob about how Stanley is taking more pride in his work by putting up "meaningful" photos of the customers, and stumbles upon the photo of Stanley and Harold as bride and groom.^note In reverse order, by the way.

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Sorry, boss.

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