Funny / Good Omens (2019)

[sarcastically imitating Aziraphale's accent] Excuse me, ma'am, we're two supernatural entities just looking for the notorious Son of Satan. Wonder if you might help us with our inquiries?

— Crowley, summing up the series

Just because it's the End of Days, doesn't mean you can't have some laughs along the way.

Season 1:

Episode 1: In the Beginning...

• At Eden, Aziraphale is sheltering Crowley with his wing in a rainstorm...while Adam and Eve use Aziraphale's flaming sword to fight off a lion.
  Aziraphale: Here you go, flaming sword. Don't thank me.
• The greetings when the three demons meet in the graveyard.
  Hastur: All hail Satan.
  Ligur: All hail Satan.
  Crowley: Yeah, hi, guys.
  • Crowley trying to open with small talk about how bad the traffic is on the A40 at Denham. He hasn't just gone native, he's become British.
  • They proceed to go on to talk about their evil deeds of the day. Hastur has tempted a priest to have dirty thoughts when he sees pretty women, while Ligur has corrupted a politician into thinking that bribery is acceptable. And they will soon have their victims in their grasp for their lord. Crowley has cut off all the mobile networks in the area, giddily talking about how annoyed and inconvenienced that will leave the humans. His companions don't understand why this is funny, or meaningful to their jobs.
  • After Crowley realizes what his new assignment is, his mood is thoroughly shot. His attempts at trying to match their enthusiasm is still pretty funny.
    Hastur: And you will be a tool of that glorious destiny.
    Crowley: Glorious... tool. Yup.
  • As Crowley leaves, he tells the two demons "Ciao" and Ligur asks Hastur what it means. Going off of his tone and reply, Hastur obviously doesn't know what it means.
    Hastur: [with deep disgust] It's Italian. It means... food^note chow.
  • Crowley desperately tries to call Aziraphale's cell phone... only to get an automated message explaining that all the phone lines are down. Cue a frustrated scream.
• The license plate on the Youngs' car reads "SID RAT"^note  Tardis , as a Shout-Out to David Tennant's role as the 10th Doctor.
• Because of Mr. Young's presence in the delivery room, there's an unspoken back and forth between the two nuns, with them winking at each other in lieu of spoken communication, and their meanings being interpreted vastly differently by each other.
• Sister Mary Loquacious thinks that Mr. Young is the American ambassador.
  Sister Mary Loquacious: [showing him a tin of biscuits] Now we call these biscuits, but you'll be looking at them and going "oh, cookies".
  Arthur Young: [confused] I call them "biscuits".
  • Later:
    Sister Mary Loquacious: Where were you before you took up this appointment?
    Arthur Young: Swindon.
• As the third baby is wheeled away to an uncertain but probably unpleasant fate, the narrator comforts us with a rosy but probably fake picture of his Happily Adopted life.
• The Satanic nuns not-so-subtly trying to pressure the parents into giving the Antichrist a blatantly evil-sounding name like Damien, Cain, and Warlock.
• Gabriel talks to Aziraphale, but not before asking why he's eating food when he's an angel. When Aziraphale replies that it's sushi, Gabriel just makes a disgusted face.
  Gabriel: I do not sully the temple of my celestial body with gross matter.
  Aziraphale: Oh, that's... nice.
• Crowley telling Aziraphale about how his side chose the Antichrist to be raised by an American diplomat:
  Aziraphale: An American diplomat? As if Armageddon were a cinematographic show you wish to sell in as many countries as possible.
  • Crowley then shrugs and points out that, as it's the end of the world, it's going to be in every country.
• The revelation by Crowley that "all the first-class composers are ours." Just the fact that somehow Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert,^note Evidently a personal favourite of Aziraphale's; the background music in scenes at his bookshop is the third movement of Schubert's String Quintet in C major. and others are somehow automatically damned to Hell.
• As Aziraphale and Crowley head into the bookshop:
  Aziraphale: I am an angel, you are a demon - we're hereditary enemies. [sternly, with an expression of distaste] Get thee behind me, foul fiend! [breaks into a smile and gestures to the door] After you.
• Take one angel and one demon. Put them in a bookshop with more than a few bottles between the two of them. The result? One of the most gut-bustingly hilarious exchanges to jump from print to screen.
  • Crowley drunkenly going on about whales and bananas, hands flailing in a wild attempt to illustrate his point.
  • "The point is - the point is - dolphins. That's my point."
  • Crowley (and Aziraphale) trying to pronounce boul- bouloo- boulooloo- fish stew.^note For the record, "bouillabaisse" is pronounced "bool-yah-bess".
  • How does Crowley try to convince Aziraphale that Armageddon is a bad idea? He casually says that he knows that God really likes The Sound of Music, and if Armageddon were to happen and heaven wins, Aziraphale would be stuck up there listening to the music, again, and again and again. Aziraphale can only drunkenly shake his head in dismay.
    Crowley: You could literally climb every mountain, over and over and over again.
  • Crowley's sudden screech of "ETERRRRRRRRRRRRRRNITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"— absolutely unexpected and over-the-top, coupled with a suitably flamboyant gesture.
  • Then, feeling like they've had enough, the two sober up by replenishing the wine, looking a bit constipated while doing so. After that's done, they mournfully lick their mouths, likely trying to get rid of the bad aftertaste.
• Crowley and Aziraphale go to Warlock's home as a nanny and a buck-toothed gardener respectively. What makes it especially hilarious on Crowley's part is that he thinks the correct look for this is Goth Mary Poppins, complete with parrot-headed umbrella.
  Crowley: I understand you need a nanny.
  • Crowley sings 5-year-old Warlock a sweet, gentle lullaby about how he'll destroy the world:
    Go to sleep and dream of pain,
    Doom and darkness, blood and brains,
    Sleep so sweet my darling boy,
    You will rule when Earth’s destroyed.
• When Aziraphale is conversing with the other archangels, apparently, the other workers in heaven have hoverboards and can be seen moving around in the background.
• Aziraphale giddily decides to entertain the children at Warlock's party with sleight-of-hand tricks that he learned a long time ago. He tries to show off to Crowley, but fails miserably.
  Crowley: No, no, no. Please no.
  Aziraphale: I just need to get back into practice.
  Crowley: Oh, no, no. Don't do your magic act. Please. Please. I'm actually begging, you have no idea how demeaning that is.
  • Crowley points out Aziraphale's trick and asks why he doesn't just literally make the coin disappear. Aziraphale bashfully says that it wouldn't be as fun.
  • When Aziraphale actually puts on his act at Warlock's party, he's shown to be just as awful at other kinds of stage magic. The whole scene is the height of Cringe Comedy as he tries and fails miserably to entertain Warlock and his friends.
• Crowley calls in his superiors to ask where the Hellhound was, and when he's told that he should have seen it by now, he starts trying to cover for himself.
  Crowley: Oh, no there he is! What a nice, hell-y hell-hound.
• Crowley calls up Hell to figure out where the dog is. The demon he talks to is not Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, but Dagon... Lord of the Files.
• The reactions of Crowley and Aziraphale when they realise that they've been looking after the wrong boy this whole time.
  Aziraphale: Wrong boy?
  Crowley: (beat) Wrong boy.
• The Hellhound going to look for Adam, his form a large growling and menacing-looking dog. But when Adam starts to describe the kind of dog that he wants, he ends up naming him "Dog" just out of convenience, and the Hellhound appears as a small, utterly adorable terrier mutt.
• After the hellhound has found his master, Crowley notices a change in the air.
  Aziraphale: [pleased] Oh, it's a new cologne, my barber suggested it.
  Crowley: No, not you, I know what you smell like!

Episode 2: The Book

• Agnes Nutter's prophecies, being written in Early Modern English, include some classic gems. Like Prophecy #2214: "In December of 1980, an Apple will arise no man can eat. Invest thy money in Master Jobbes's machine and good fortune will tend thy days."
• Archangels Gabriel and Sandalphon go to Aziraphale's bookshop and loudly announce that they're buying pornography to blend in with "simple humans", while Gabriel holds a thick copy of Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management, and asks to discuss the purchase in private.
  • Gabriel didn't even bother to find out what Aziraphale sells.
    Gabriel: I would like to purchase one of your material objects.
    Sandalphon: Books.
  • Gabriel legitimately believes that he's fooled the humans in the store, in spite of them looking at him as if he's a weirdo. The only thing stopping Aziraphale from bursting his bubble is that Gabriel is his superior.
    Sandalphon: We humans are extremely easily embarrassed. We must buy our pornography secretively.
  • Aziraphale blames the "evil" smell in the shop (actually from Crowley hanging out there) on the Jeffrey Archer books.^note A conservative member of Parliament who got wrapped up in a prostitution scandal in 1987, and in 2001 was convicted of perjury in that case, and with his political career a lost cause has turned to his former side job of writing novels, including a diary that he kept in prison.
    • Gabriel is even seen shrugging in the background at that, like he's saying "yeah, that checks out."
• War's introduction. She walks into a desert tent where two countries are about to sign a peace agreement. Her mere presence causes a Hate Plague to break out as the signers argue amongst themselves who should sign first, culminating in everyone drawing guns on one another. Then the International Express Man shows up to deliver War her flaming sword.
  International Express Man: Oh don't mind me, ladies and gents. Oh, what a day, eh? Nearly didn't even find the place. Someone doesn't believe in signposts, eh?
  [sees War]
  International Express Man: Package for you, Miss. You, uh, you have to sign for it. [War signs for receipt of the box] Well, it's a lovely place you got here. I always wanted to come here on my holidays.
• Our introduction to young Newton Pulsifer begins with an exterior shot scene where the camera gracefully pans from the street to his bedroom window... and collides with the glass.
  • Newt leaving his new job right after frying up all their computers and a woman passes by calling him "dick". Newt quietly murmurs that that was the car's name. Then meekly says that she can ask why it's named that if she wants, but as she continues to walk away, his box breaks and all of his belongings fall to the ground.
• Aziraphale panicking at Crowley's driving, especially when he's not paying attention to the road.
  Aziraphale: Watch out for that pedestrian!
  Crowley: [the woman screams] She's on the street. She knows the risks she's taking.
  Aziraphale: Watch the road, watch the road!
  • Then this:
    Aziraphale: You can't do ninety miles per hour in central London!!
    Crowley: [with complete sincerity] Why not?
    Aziraphale: You'll get us killed! ...well, inconveniently discorporated.
• Aziraphale suggests putting on some music and is confused when he picks an album.
  Aziraphale: What's a "Velvet Underground"?
  Crowley: You won't like it.
  Aziraphale: Ah... Be-bop.
  • Later on in the episode, Crowley comes back to this by saying that if Aziraphale lined up everyone in the world, no one would describe Velvet Underground as be-bop.
• It's a small thing, but after they get out of the car and walk towards the gate, Aziraphale walks on the path while Crowley cuts across the grass. They reach the gate at the same time, of course.
• When confronted by one of the paintballers^note played by Ben Willbond for wandering into an active paintballing zone, Crowley transforms his head into a giant snake with massive fangs and the paintballer faints in shock.
• Crowley is surprised that Heaven is in favour of guns. Aziraphale, a little awkwardly, says that they're in favour of them being in the "right hands" in order to "lend weight to moral arguments." Crowley, finding that idea hilarious, promptly makes all the paintball guns real.
  Crowley: Just giving them a chance to make their moral arguments.
• After Crowley freezes Sister Loquacious, Aziraphale asks why he had to do that when they could simply ask her, and Crowley goes on a rant as seen on the beginning of the page.
  • They have the idea to browse through the files of the former hospital to find the Antichrist. The entranced Loquacious informs them they were lost in the fire that happened shortly after Adam’s birth. Crowley immediately knows this to be Hastur’s doing and grows more annoyed.
  • When prompted on anything she can remember about Adam, all she remembers is his lovely toesie-woesies. Aziraphale's "d'aaw" reaction is a lovely contrast to Crowley's exasperated one.
• "Most books on witchcraft have witches practicing naked. That's because most books on witches are written by men."
• Newt meets Madame Tracy and she mistakes him for one of her customers. He then corrects her and says that he was here to meet Shadwell.
• Crowley threatening the houseplants actually manages to be even more hysterical than it was in the book. Words do not give justice to David Tennant's dead-serious, ominous delivery as he prowls around the plants, glowering as he hisses, "Say goodbye to your friend..." Complete with dramatic music and eerie lighting in his flat. There's also the plants literally trembling in fear as the tirade progresses.
  • Crowley removes a plant which has disappointed him, puts it through a grinder offscreen, and comes back to brandish its now-empty pot at the remaining plants with an expression on his face like "See?"
    • The ending of that scene shows the plants actively growing, making a 'RrrrrRRRR!' sound. This refers to a scene from the book where Adam causes the rainforests of Brazil to regrow in record speed, and the sound of a tree growing in minutes is apparently the same as the sound of a chainsaw running.
• Crowley's car hits Anathema Device, causing the devil and angel to hit the brakes and pause for a moment.
  Crowley: The last thing we need right now- (Anathema rides into the side of his car)
  Aziraphale: ...You hit someone.
  Crowley: I didn't. Someone hit me.
• "Oh Loooord... heal this biiike..."
  • As Crowley's driving, Bicycle Race is playing on the radio.
  • The capper is Aziraphale sputtering that he "got carried away".
• As Aziraphale goes to help Anathema, he says "let there be light" and snaps his fingers, causing a beam of light to appear above them. Crowley just as quickly extinguishes it.
  • Aziraphale also going a bit overboard on the whole miracle thing and changing Anathema's bike to something better. By the time they drop her off at her cottage, he quickly turns it back to normal.
• Aziraphale finds Agnes' book of prophecies and hurriedly tries to get back inside his bookstore, with Crowley asking him what's wrong.
  Aziraphale: Nothing's wrong! Absolutely tickety-boo!
  Crowley: ..."tickety-boo"?
• Shadwell insisting to Newt to always count the nipples of people that he meets in case they're witches.
• Aziraphale calling the Youngs and realizing that another of Agnes' prophecies came true.
  Aziraphale: Sorry! Right number!

Episode 3: Hard Times

• Crowley and Aziraphale's conversations throughout history.
• Noah's Ark:
  • During the loading of Noah's ark, one of the unicorns gets loose, which Crowley points out loudly.
  • When Crowley asks incredulously if God's going to destroy the entire world, Aziraphale, in obvious discomfort, says that he thinks it's just a local event because he's pretty sure that God isn't angry at the Chinese, Australians, or Native Americans.
    Crowley: ...yet.
  • Crowley then sees a trio of children running past a man leading a group of baby goats. "Even the kids?" It's never specified which ones he's referring to.
  • At the Crucifixion, Crowley tells Aziraphale that he showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world.
    Aziraphale: Why?
    Crowley: Well he's a carpenter from Galilee, his travel opportunities are limited.
  • Crowley telling Aziraphale that he changed his name.
    Crowley: Crawley, just wasn't really doing it for me. It's a bit too... squirming at your feet-ish.
    Aziraphale: Well, you were a snake. So what is it now? Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?
    Crowley: Crowley.
    Aziraphale: (beat, shrugs his head)
  • Then Crowley asks Aziraphale what Jesus said that got everyone so upset as to warrant getting put on the cross.
    Aziraphale: "Be kind to each other".
    Crowley: Oh no, that'll do it.
• In a tavern in ancient Rome, Aziraphale meets Crowley again, and apparently finds it necessary to ask whether Crowley is still a demon.
  Crowley: What kind of a stupid question is that - 'Still a demon?' What else am I gonna be, an aardvark?!
  • Funnier when you remember Crowley can shape shift so he could turn into an aardvark.
• Aziraphale is unlucky enough to be in France during the French Revolution and is about to be executed at the guillotine. The only reason he was in France to begin with was that he really wanted some crepes.
  Aziraphale: You can't get decent ones anywhere but Paris. And the brioche.
  Crowley: So you just popped across the Channel during a revolution, because you wanted something to nibble? Dressed like that?
  Aziraphale: I have standards!
  • The solution to getting Aziraphale out of his predicament is to switch his uniform with that of one of the guards so that the guard gets taken to the guillotine instead.
    Crowley: Dressed like that, he's asking for trouble.
• Crowley asking for a favor from Aziraphale, which angers the angel and he storms off. Crowley mockingly mimics Aziraphale's frustrated "obviously".
• Crowley pulls a Big Damn Heroes moment and comes to save Aziraphale from being discorporated by Nazis... only to be left jumping around on his tiptoes because he's walking on holy ground. This continues throughout the entire conversation where he even has to momentarily lean on a pew.
  Crowley: [gasping in pain] Sorry, consecrated ground! Agh! It's like... being at a beach in bare feet!
  • Before he shows up, Aziraphale's reaction to his spy double-crossing him and having the threat of being possibly discorporated.
    Aziraphale: You can't kill me! There'll be paperwork...
  • Crowley reveals that he saved Aziraphale's books from the bombing. As he plucks the suitcase containing them from a corpse's death grip and hands it back to Aziraphale, distinctly romantic violin music starts playing.
  • In Crowley’s quest to obtain some holy water, he first tries to get some from Aziraphale, a freaking angel, and when that fails, he resorts to planning an elaborate heist on a church. Apparently, the idea of just buying some from a priest or having a churchgoer grab some for him never occurred to him. He is honestly surprised that it isn't guarded, at night, during The Blitz.
• Crowley and Aziraphale both fall for Shadwell's obvious payroll fraud. Crowley fails to read the obviously-forged ledger, while Aziraphale genuinely believes that there are Witchfinder officers named Saucepan, Tin, Milk Bottle (deceased), and Cupboard.
• Aziraphale's insistence that they're not friends, and he doesn't even like Crowley, all said in a high-pitched, utterly querulous whine. Crowley's only response is a smug "You do!"
• Famine runs a chain of restaurants that serve CHOW, food that consists entirely of fillers and has exactly zero actual food and nutritional content. When handing over orders, the waitress presses a button that rattles off a fast spiel.
  Voice: CHOW-brand unfood contains spun, plaited and woven protein molecules designed to be ignored by your digestive enzymes, no-cal sweeteners, oil replacements, fibrous materials, colorings and flavorings. CHOW is an edible substance and must not be confused with food. Eating CHOW can help you to lose weight, hair, and kidney functions. May cause anal leakage. Enjoy your meal!
  • The International Express Man noticing what appears to be Elvis Presley flipping burgers in Famine's restaurants. And the cherry on top of it? This is the only time where his Unfazed Everyman demeanor is disturbed, implying that he's much more freaked out by Elvis being alive than he is by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
• Adam listens to Anathema's rant against all things industrial in what seems to be an overwhelmed daze before she finally mentions something that he can relate to.
  Adam: Nuclear power stations are rubbish.
  Anathema: Yes! Yes, they are!
  Adam: We went to one on a school trip, and there was nothing bubbling, and there wasn't any green smoke, and there weren't anyone in those space suits and it was all so dull.
  Anathema: Well, yes. But we need to get rid of them.
  Adam: Serves them right for not bubbling.
• This line from Crowley:
  Crowley: Great mangled pustulent bollocks to the Great blasted Plan!

Episode 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

• An alien spaceship lands in front of Newt, aliens step out and chastise him for humanity's rather poor care of the Earth, and then deliver a message of "peace and universal harmony and suchlike."
  Alien: Now, do you know why we were asked to deliver this message?
  Newt: W-well, I suppose with man's splitting of the atom—
  Alien: Neither do we, sir. Neither do we.
  • Newt, understandably, calls Shadwell about the aliens. Shadwell doesn't care and in fact seems annoyed that Newt failed to count their nipples.
    Shadwell: You're a witchfinder, not an alien finder. [rolls eyes] But I'll make a note of it.
• Pepper on whales:
  Pepper: If they're so smart, why do they spend all their time in water? Just swimming and eating and singing and - oh my God I want to be a whale.
• Hastur constantly killing his demon helpers, because they were making jokes. Every time, a new, identical demon steps in as replacement.
  • In the credits, this demon is referred to as "Disposable Demon".
• Crowley apparently took credit for inventing the selfie.
• Hastur and Ligur go to meet Warlock and his family, still believing that he's the Antichrist. When Warlock sees Hastur, he tells him that he smells like poo. Hastur is clearly taken aback by this comment.
  • The alias that he chooses is Mr. Hastur La Vista.
• As Crowley is watching the claymation movie playing, Hastur takes over and angrily rants to Crowley.
  Hastur: What the heaven's going on, Crowley? What have you done?
  Crowley: Hastur. Hey, I'm not following you. How do you mean?
  Hastur: The boy! The boy called Warlock! We took him to the Fields of Megiddo! The dog is not with him! The child knows nothing of the great war! He is not our master's son! He said that I... [makes a face] ...that I smelt of poo. [A rabbit puts a hand on his shoulder]
  Crowley: [beat] I can see his point.
  Hastur: You're dead to me, Crowley. You're bloody history! [Hastur rips out the throat of one of the rabbits, which sprays out a comical amount of blood] You stay where you are! We're coming to collect you!
• Crowley's license plate reading "Curtain" backwards.
• Crowley melting Ligur with holy water? Horrifying. Hastur's high-pitched screams of shock and terror? Hilarious.
  Crowley: Hi.
  • Crowley bluffs that he has more in a spray bottle to hold Hastur off. A procedure that he's very experienced in.
• Crowley pretends to be calling the higher-ups, but then yells out "So long, sucker!" to Hastur before disappearing into the phone. The screen shows that Crowley was calling himself.
  • He hisses in a very serpentine manner as he mockingly sticks out his tongue.
• During God's narration, She answers a long-standing theological question: "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"
  • According to Her, angels don't dance, so the answer would be zero... if not for Aziraphale, who learned exactly one dance (the gavotte) in the 1880s. God notes brightly that Aziraphale had in fact gotten quite good at the gavotte, and was very disappointed when it went out of style a few decades later. The scene cuts to grainy black-and-white footage of Aziraphale enthusiastically dancing the gavotte with a group of men at a "discreet gentlemen's club." Ergo, assuming for the exercise that Aziraphale could find a partner who was also able to dance the gavotte on the head of a pin, the answer to the age-old question is a straightforward: One.
  • Demons, on the other hand, do dance— not well, mind you, but they do. Cut to a psychedelic '70s-style music video of Crowley dancing — while sporting a terrible mustache and bell-bottomed pants, no less! — complete with trippy transitions and an eye-searing color palette, including one brief moment where Hastur and Ligur dance in the background while Crowley holds a giant pin.
• When Shadwell sees the pin burning in the map, he is horrified as he realises he sent Newt to an actual supernatural event. He says that the witches could be doing horrible things to Newt right at this very moment. Cut to Newt and Anathema having sex.
• Shadwell believing that Aziraphale is an evil monster.
  Shadwell: You monster! Seducing women to do your evil will.
  Aziraphale: (politely) Oh, I think perhaps you've got the wrong shop.
  • Soho does have a modest number of sex shops and strip clubs. Perhaps Shadwell wouldn't be the first person in all those centuries to have actually gotten the wrong shop.
• Aziraphale's Precision F-Strike upon being "exorcised" is made even funnier with Michael Sheen's delivery, fully selling that this is the first time he's ever said the word but there's just no other way to put it.
• The first thing to catch fire in Aziraphale's shop? A booklet of sheet music for The Sound of Music!

Episode 5: The Doomsday Option

• Crowley takes off his sunglasses after exiting the bookshop and holds them out as if prepared to drop them.
  Crowley: ... I shouldn't litter, should I? I mean, I am a demon... but I shouldn't.
• Shadwell taking a rest on Madame Tracy's bed, but when he looks up to see her stuffed animals and holds up a pink flogger, he asks "What the hell is this place?" followed by a well-timed whip-snap.
• Aziraphale taking a chance to return to Earth without a body, and as his body disappears into the globe, he says "Wheeee!"
• Aziraphale musing how their predicament would be so simple if he could just inhabit Crowley's body.
  Aziraphale: Pity I can't inhabit yours.
  Crowley: Blehh...
  Aziraphale: Angel and a demon... Probably explode.
  Crowley: Yeah...
  • As Aziraphale fades after telling Crowley to get to Tadfield Air Base:
    Aziraphale: We're going to have to get a wiggle on.
    Crowley: What?
    Azirephale: Tadfield!
    Crowley: Yeah, I got that, it was the "wiggle on".
  • Also, this:
    Aziraphale: I just need to find a receptive body. It's harder than you'd think.
    Crowley: ...I'm not going to go there.
• The look on Newt's face when he realises that Agnes predicted him and Anathema having sex. She shows him a card, and he reads aloud a note from one of Anathema's ancestors cheering him on.
  Newt: "You go, boy."
• When the Horsemen are gathering in a diner, Death is introduced speedrunning the arcade games into game overs.
• Aziraphale jumps back to Earth without a body, possesses Madame Tracy in the middle of a fake seance, and briefly "passes the phone" to the spirit trying to talk to his wife. Said spirit yells at his wife to shut up for once.
  Aziraphale: (after the screaming) Wasn't that touching? Right, well, lovely to meet you all. (beat) Out.
• The telemarketer calling Crowley's machine, but the name on it reads "Anthony Cowwley".
• A reporter nonchalantly saying that reports of the condition of the M25 are "It's on fire, or something".
  Reporter: (beat) What does that even mean?
• Shadwell thinks he's heard Madame Tracy talking to a man and thinks it's a demon. When he sees no one, he says he heard some kind of southern pansy.
  Aziraphale: Not just a southern pansy, sergeant. The southern pansy!
• Aziraphale asking Shadwell what kind of weapons (besides his index finger) he has. Shadwell talks about a certain gun that can fire different kinds of bullets, and starts asking the angel which ones would do.
  Shadwell: It'll fire anything. Silver bullets?
  Aziraphale: That's werewolves.
  Shadwell: Eh, garlic?
  Aziraphale: Vampires.
  Shadwell: Mmm, brick?
  Aziraphale: That should do nicely, ha!
• Hastur's squeaky voice as he's being burnt away in the Bentley, declaring how much he hated Crowley.
• A flashback shows that Crowley created the M25 as a perpetual source of low-grade evil. The rest of Hell looks extremely bored at the reasons behind it, while he insists that it will be a good investment for them.
  Crowley: So! Thanks to three computer hacks, selective bribery, and me moving some markers across a field one night, the M25 London orbital motorway, which was supposed to look like this... [shows them one proposed map] ...will, when it opens in 1986, actually look like this... [presents a map with the present day routing of the M25] ...and represent the dread sigil Odegra in the language of the Dark Priesthood of Ancient Mu. Odegra means "Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds". Can I hear a "wahoo"? [the demons give a lethargic "boooo"] Once it's built, the millions of motorists who grumble their way around it are gonna be like water on a prayer wheel, grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil that will encircle the whole of London. [Hastur raises his hand] Yes, duke Hastur?
  Hastur: What's a computer?
• After Adam comes to, Brian lifts a cricket bat over his head and looks prepared to swing it.
• Crowley plunges his car through the blazing ring of fire that surrounds the M25, and as he drives past the cops, he brightly waves at them while grinning maniacally— all while his Bentley is on fire. One cop mutters at how he saw someone waving, while his partner replies that it was now someone else's problem.
  • "I'm In Love With My Car" fittingly plays throughout Crowley's trip through the fire.
  • When God's narrating what Crowley is imagining as he's driving his car through fire, she says he's imagining that "he is fine".
• RP Tyler is asked for directions to Tadfield Airbase.
  • When it is the Four Horsemen, he spots the motorcycles coming and immediately picks up his dachshund. But with the dachshund having such a long back, the poor thing flops around a couple of times. Other dachshund owners have noted that they can be tricky to pick up.
  • When it is Crowley, God notes that while he politely provides the requested information, what he really wants to say is "your car is on fire!" The only reason that he doesn't is, well, surely the stranger already knows that.
• A sergeant notices the keys to their missiles turning and mutters, "What the heck?"
  Soldier: Did you really just say "what the heck"?
• Aziraphale driving Madame Tracy and Shadwell on a scooter. However, once he goes down the road, he stops at the intersection, turns on his blinker, pauses, and then turns left. Even on the eve of Armageddon, he still obeys traffic laws.
• Crowley finally arrives in the village, his car barely held together by will and determination alone. He stops to ask for directions to the airbase from RP Tyler, who has the above mentioned internal dilemma. The cherry on top? The stereo's blasting "We Will Rock You".

Episode 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Our Lives

• Soon after Crowley arrives, his flaming car finally explodes. He falls to his knees, on the verge of tears, while Aziraphale reminds him about the teeny-tiny Armageddon that they really need to deal with.
  Crowley: [voice cracking] I am having a moment here!
• Aziraphale attempts some heroic trash-talking by declaring that "We are here to lick some serious butt!"
  Crowley: Kick, Aziraphale, it's kick butt! For Heaven's sake - ugh. I can't believe I just said that!
• Crowley spots Adam.
  Crowley: [to Aziraphale who's currently in Madame Tracy's body] The curly one, shoot him!
• At Anathema's prompting, Newt saves the world by trying to fix the computers currently being used to fire off the world's nukes. As happens every time he tries to fix - or indeed, use - a computer, they immediately and catastrophically crash, cancelling the launches.
• Anathema asks what is going on, but isn't quite specific enough.
  Anathema: What is going on out here?
  Crowley: Long story. No time.
  Anathema: Well, try me.
  Aziraphale: Uh okay, so, uh in the beginning, in the Garden, there was well, [glances at Crowley] he was a wily old serpent, and I was technically on apple tree duty—
  • Then Crowley starts gesturing for Aziraphale to shut up.
• War takes out Aziraphale's flaming sword, which Crowley turns to Aziraphale to inquire about.
  Crowley: Didn't that use to be your sword?
  Aziraphale: (Beat) I do believe it was.
• How does Aziraphale threaten Crowley to come up with an idea to save them from Satan? And it even works!
  Aziraphale: (holding the flaming sword) Come up with something, or... Or I'll never talk to you again!
• Gabriel and Beelzebub show up to try to convince Adam to restart Armageddon. Gabriel, being Gabriel, is horrible at it, and Beelzebub insists that they be allowed to handle this. Gabriel happily turns it over to them so they can try to tempt Adam, which also fails hilariously. It's like an awkward Good Cop/Bad Cop routine where the demon lord is the one trying to be the good cop.
• This exchange
  Gabriel: God does not play games with the universe!
  Crowley: Where've you been?
• After Armageddon is averted, the world governments dismiss everything as a series of mass hallucinations. A spy snarks that one of those "hallucinations" ate their trade delegation.
• Following the Armageddon-that-wasn't, Aziraphale sums up his and Crowley's efforts over the last eleven years (i.e. if Adam hadn't been allowed to grow up human due to Crowley and Aziraphale losing track of him):
  Aziraphale: Just imagine how awful it might have been if we'd been at all competent.
  Crowley: (about to argue, but concedes) Uhhh... point taken.
• "Crowley" mumbling "tickety-boo" before passing out.
• Anathema's reaction to "The further Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Concerning the World that is to Come: Ye Saga Continues." She reads the title out loud, and when she gets to "Ye Saga Continues" she takes off her glasses with an expression that better than words say "you have got to be kidding me."
• Aziraphale and Crowley are separately set to be executed by Heaven and Hell. Hell provides Heaven some hellfire to execute Aziraphale, and Heaven provides Hell some holy water to execute Crowley. Aziraphale finds the hellfire relaxing, while Crowley plays in the bath and asks for a rubber duck. Turns out that they had switched bodies on the advice of Agnes' last prophecy. Also "Crowley" occasionally flicking some water at the window towards the audience, who flinches away violently.
  Crowley: I don't suppose that anywhere in the nine circles of hell there is such a thing as a rubber duck?
  • When Michael returns for the holy water, she's so shocked to see Crowley casually lounging in the bathtub that when he cheerfully asks for a towel, she ends up procuring one, not knowing how else to react.
  • The fact that Aziraphale, as Crowley, is calling the Archangel Michael "dude"!
  • "Aziraphale" wishing the other angels the best, and gets this reaction from Gabriel followed by an insincere smile.
    Gabriel: Shut your stupid mouth and die already.
  • The kicker is when they meet back up and switch back into their regular bodies, Aziraphale is so pleased about the rubber duck line and making Michael miracle him up a towel, and Crowley thinks it's hilarious.
• After Madame Tracy invites Shadwell to her place for dinner, she says that she's thinking of moving away into a bungalow and suggests that he should come live with her. Shadwell then says that, in that case, he'd better "pop the question". Madame Tracy looks at him expectantly...then Shadwell asks her how many nipples she's got. It doubles as a heartwarming moment when she tells him she only has the two, and he seems satisfied with the answer.

Season 2

Episode 1: The Arrival

• "Before the Beginning," Crowley, as an angel, kickstarted a nebula to be a stellar nursery and birth more stars in a few million years. He is very put out when he is told that actually, the universe is only going to exist for six thousand years or so, and it seems like the only point of the stars is to give humanity something to stare up at in wonder.
  Crowley: But that's idiocy! It's the universe, it's not just some fancy wallpaper! Millions of galaxies, trillions of stars, oodles of... everything! It's not just put here to twinkle! Most of it won't even be visible from Earth. Why don't you put Earth in the middle of the universe so the view's better?
  Aziraphale: It's not our job to advise The Almighty on the details of creation.
  Crowley: Well, then whose job is it? I mean, someone has to say, "Look, boss, this is a really, really terrible idea."
  Aziraphale: Well, I suspect that would be considered inappropriate.
  Crowley: Well, I don't suppose anyone could object to me putting a note into the suggestion box.
  Aziraphale: I don't believe The Almighty has actually created a suggestion box. And furthermore, I don't think it's our place to start suggesting that there should be a suggestion box.
  Crowley: Well, if I was the one running it all, I'd like it if someone asked questions. Fresh point of view. You can't just create a universe, run it for a few thousand years, and then stop.
  [awkward pause]
  Aziraphale: I like the pinky-blue bit in the corner of the, the nebula. Yes, it's very um, ah! Um, but look, word to the wise, I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble.
  Crowley: Mm, thanks for your help. And thanks for your advice. I wouldn't worry though. How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?
• A foreign spy sits on a bench to say a code phrase so a fellow spy can converse with him... but he's on the wrong bench with Crowley. Crowley casually directs him to where the spy he's looking for is seated.
  • Shortly after Shax arrives, Crowley interrupts their conversation to yell at the spies for feeding the ducks bread because it's bad for them.
• Amnesiac Gabriel walking through the streets of London, buck naked except for a box he's carrying. When he finds Aziraphale's shop, he gives him a big hug, to Aziraphale's surprise.
  Aziraphale: What—
  Gabriel: What am I doing here?
  [beat]
  Aziraphale: What are you doing here?
  Gabriel: I don't know, that's why I asked.
• "Okay, basic 'Demon on Earth' stuff: Either call on the phone and talk, or appear mysteriously. Don't do both."
• Michael touches the "earthly matter" Muriel found with tiny taps like it's something gross.
• When Crowley comes back, he sees Nina and Maggie trapped in Nina's shop due to the power outage, then snaps his fingers to fix everything, to their shock.
  Crowley: That's my bad.
• Crowley initially refuses to help hide Gabriel and storms off in a fury. When he realizes Aziraphale's in danger, he goes back and announces he's changed his mind. Aziraphale, however, wants a proper apology... which, for them, apparently includes a little song and dance, which Aziraphale has done many times before. Crowley reluctantly does it, singing, "You were right, I was wrong" through gritted teeth, much to Aziraphale's amusement. Even funnier when you remember one of them choreographed this, and either option (either Crowley did however many centuries ago and it's finally bit him in the ass, or Aziraphale choreographed an apology dance for himself to do) is equally funny.
• When Aziraphale and Crowley each perform a tiny half-miracle so nobody notices Gabriel, Crowley says in relief that it was so small nobody would notice. Cue a shot to Heaven, where alarms are blaring.
  • The alarms were blaring because the miracle power was huge, nearly 25 Lazeri. Crowley is dumbfounded that they are measuring miracle strength in Heaven by comparing it to power needed to return a human being back from the dead, naming it after original Lazarus.

Episode 2: The Clue

• Aziraphale coming to intercept Crowley’s first attempt to kill Job’s goats. He makes a big show of it, with rays of gold behind him… which he immediately drops when he realizes who he’s talking to.
  • After a short talk and an apology, the angel goes back into position and (with a prompt from Crowley) picks up right where he left off, commanding him to “begone!”… only to drop it again when Crowley gives him a Blunt "No".
• Crowley apparently knew Jane Austen quite well... but he never knew she wrote books.
  Aziraphale: You remember Jane Austen?
  Crowley: Yeah. I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Brandy smuggler. Master spy. [admiringly] What a piece of work.
  Aziraphale: [startled] ...she wrote books! Novels!
  Crowley: [disbelieving] Jane? ...Austen?!
  Aziraphale: Yes!
  Crowley: [surprised] Whoa! Bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh?
  Aziraphale: Yes! They were very good!
  Crowley: Well - no, I'm just surprised, that's all. You think you know someone...
• Later on, in Aziraphale's book shop, Crowley finds the collected works of Jane Austen, and is still utterly flabbergasted by this.
  Crowley: Jane Austen. Wrote books too. [slight shake of his head] You peop - I will never get the hang of you lot!
• After Crowley turns Job’s two eldest (and brattiest) children into geckos, the youngest excitedly asks if she could be turned into a blue one. Crowley remarks he wasn’t going to transform her because she hadn’t annoyed him yet, but when she asks to be changed anyway he shrugs and indulges her request.
  • Crowley really hamming it up as he announces that he's a demon "SENT TO DESTROY YOU ALLLL!" and blasting the place with fire. Meanwhile Aziraphale unconvincingly assures the children they're perfectly safe.
• As Job hears the word of God, instead of letting Job ask the questions, God asks him questions. Amongst many of The Almighty's inquiries, they ask if he can send lightning bolts and then get reports back, does he know where the sun goes at night and if he gave peacocks wings? The basic gist of the conversation is: who are you to ask me questions - be quiet until you've done all the things I did and know all the things I know! Also an example of Fridge Brilliance, because those questions are all quotes from the biblical book of Job.
  • Job reports to his wife he's not entirely sure what God rambled about, but that He seemed pretty proud of whales.
• How the matter of Job's children is settled. They were meant to be killed by Crowley as part of God's bet with Satan, but obviously Crowley didn't go through with it, hiding them instead by turning them into lizards. The trouble is that the angels (other than Aziraphale) are expecting Job and his wife to have brand new children to replace the old ones. Fortunately, their entire idea of how human reproduction works is based on Gabriel having witnessed Eve's birth.
  • Crowley, in his guise as a shoemaker and obstetrician, tells Job's wife Sitis to reach out to her husband to make the "new" children. Sitis reaches for the logical spot, only for Crowley to tell her to go "higher up" so he can make it look like she pulled out Job's ribs to turn into their children. Because that's how Gabriel thinks it works.
  • Job and Sitis' expressions through the whole thing. Totally bemused but going along with what Crowley tell them in the hope of getting their kids back. When Crowley turns the newts back into their children, they play along with a lot of "Ah, yes, these are clearly different children than the ones we had before!"
  • Michael is confused because the "new" children are clearly not babies. Aziraphale reminds her that Eve wasn't a baby either. Gabriel nods along.
    Gabriel: They can come out at any size.
  • For bonus points, Job is played by David Tennant's father-in-law, Peter Davison. Job's son Ennon is played by David Tennant's adopted son and Peter Davison's grandson Ty Tennant.
• The effects of the miracle Crowley and Aziraphale did to hide Gabriel. How effective is it? The angels who've worked with Gabriel for 6,000 years and come to the bookshop looking for him can have him stand in front of them saying, "I am sometimes called Gabriel!" to their faces, and they'll reply with, "Yes, yes, very good. But seriously, where is Gabriel?"
• In a meta moment, pay close attention to the books Gabriel picks up - the one that begins with "It was a nice day" (and the one he likes best) is none other than a certain little book written by Messrs. Pratchett and Gaiman, which would make for one hell - if you'll pardon the pun - of a Celebrity Paradox.

Episode 3: I Know Where I'm Going

• Muriel comes to the bookshop in disguise as a police officer to snoop around. They do so in an all-white uniform of outdated design while introducing themself as "a human police officer." Aziraphale, having eyes, immediately realises what's up and humours them thoroughly.
  • Aziraphale offers Muriel a cup of tea. They're not sure, but accept to maintain their disguise. They holds the cup like an unexploded bomb.
  • Then Crowley comes in, catches on and joins in the humouring.
    Aziraphale: This is a human police officer who just popped in to have a quick look at a cup of tea!
• Aziraphale, driving Crowley's Bentley to Edinburgh, has made some changes to the car that Crowley can instinctively feel. Speaking over the radio, he chastises the angel for driving well under the speed limit, eating snacks in the car, and (after hearing Aziraphale honk to oncoming traffic) changing the horn. The kicker is when he promises Crowley that he hasn't done anything to the car - as the camera pans out to show the Bentley now colored bright canary yellow!
  • Crowley has to threaten to give away Aziraphale’s books to get him to change the car back!
  • And as the car enters Scotland and changes back to normal, it passes by Loch Ness... where its famous monster is swimming in the water.
• Crowley explains the concept of gravity to Jim, about how objects attract each other and that means everything is mostly attracted to Earth.
  Gabriel: Why?
  Crowley: Ah... Honestly, um, I don't remember. Seemed like a good idea when we were all talking about it. So things would stay where you put them, not just drift off?
• Aziraphale posing as a reporter to get information about the jukebox from the bartender of The Ressurectionist.
• The entire scene in the mausoleum where Crowley is high on laudanum. He shrinks to tiny size, then grows large enough to break through the ceiling, then tells Aziraphale to give the girl all his money so she can buy a farm and live a good life.
  Crowley: Not just pretendy good, either, proper good.
  • Afterwards, Aziraphale is concerned that Crowley did a good deed, to which Crowley says that being off his face on laudanum is a decent enough excuse, and anyway if Downstairs knew what he'd done he'd already be... Cue a diminishing scream as he disappears through the ground. Aziraphale's narration notes that he didn't see Crowley again for some time after that.
• Aziraphale's interaction with the two rough guys who gang up on him in the Edinburgh graveyard in the present day after he calls them over to ask if he can borrow one of their cellphones to call Crowley. One of the men refuses, getting up in his face and about ready to beat the angel up just for asking, but his buddy quickly offers up his own, warning that he's run out of minutes due to using Twitter and Grindr so much.
  • Aziraphale then proceeds to talk to the phone, politely asking it to call the rotary phone in his bookshop, even specifying that it's on his desk. And it works.
    Crowley: (answering the phone) Fell's bookshop. We probably don't have what you're looking for, and we wouldn't sell it to you if we did.
  • And after he's done calling Crowley, Aziraphale takes a moment to bless the guy who lent him the cellphone and the cellphone itself, turning it into a newer model. When he hands it back and turns to leave, he mistakes the man's surprise at his phone's miraculous upgrade as disappointment and offers to turn it back, to which the man quickly declines.
  • The broken phone has the Union flag as its wall paper, on being repaired this has changed to the Scottish flag.
• Shax comes to the bookshop to pressure Crowley into giving up Gabriel. After a lengthy scene of her posing as various members of the public and threatening Crowley she interrupts herself to ask about a problem with the boiler at his old flat.
  Shax: Listen... when there's no hot water and two yellow lights on the boiler, what is that?
  Crowley: Oh yeah, yeah that happens. There's a little black tap on a silver loop you have to turn. It's sort of under...
  Shax: I can find it.

Episode 4: The Hitchhiker

• In Hell, there is a sign saying "it has been __ days since someone said 'the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.'" Various numbers are crossed out, settling on "0."
• A demon convinces the Nazis to sign up to become zombies with a very bad video of a Nazi being eating by a spider demon, pooped out, turning into a fly, and repeat.
  Nazi: For how long?
  Demon: Let me check my notes... [spends a full minute checking a booklet] Eternity.
  Nazis: [hastily sign]
• One of the posters proclaims "Heaven is looking down on you, because you're pathetic."
• Really, just the fact that Hell's intake is currently full of Nazis is hilarious in itself.
• Aziraphale wants to do the bullet catch trick on stage and asks a roomful of American soldiers if anyone in the audience knows how to use a firearm. Cue nearly every hand going up... except for Crowley's, even though he's supposed to be a part of the trick.
• The Nazi Zombies have just been given a nasty case of Exact Words and found out that while they are free from Hell, that means existing on Earth as zombies... forever. One says it might not be so bad, with an optimistic sort of shrug... which makes his arm fall off. He then has to awkwardly carry it with him as it continues to point wildly.

Episode 5: The Ball

• Shax has been authorized to take as many demons as she needs to Earth. She demands Furfur give her ten thousand demons! He laughs in her face, to her surprise.
  Shax: A thousand blood-thirsty demons. We are in Hell. I have authorization from Beelzebub.
  Furfur: You can have authorization from Satan himself love, if I don't have them I can't send them over. I'll give you a malignant and creeping sense of unease if you like.
  Shax: Why would I want a creep—Five hundred. There must be five hundred foot soldiers.
  Furfur: What they for?
  Shax: Attacking a bookshop. Don't tell anybody, but we may be battling angels.
  Furfur: I'll do you a hundred.
  Shax: What's—
  Furfur: [computer beeps] It has just dropped to seventy.
  Shax: I'll take them.
• Before the season premiered it was a running gag on Neil Gaiman's Tumblr that he'd respond to any questions whose answers were spoilers with "Wait and See". When Crowley finds Aziraphale rearranging the bookshop for the party it leads to a cheeky nod to the gag.
  Crowley: What are you planning?
  Aziraphale: Wait and see.
  Crowley: "Wait and see"?! Do you have any idea how irritating that is?!
• Aziraphale invites Ms Sandwich (one of the local shop owners) to the Association's meeting - but he has no idea what the multiple female employees of her shop actually do. Then his miracle starts working wonders on the guests and forces them to talk as if they are in Jane Austen novel, leaving her unable to say the actual word that describes the profession so she settles on the word "seamstress"^note The profession in question is actually prostitution, in a Shout-Out to Terry Pratchett's Discworld series.. The attempt to explain what they do must be seen to be believed, including her coming up with terms like darning a sock, hemming a shirt and sewing a button - lots of button sewing, in fact.
• The demons are terrible at spelling. At first it just looks like the stupid mooks, but Shax can't spell the word "toast."
• The effects of the miracle hiding Gabriel continue as he gives himself up to the demons to protect everyone else. He literally stands in front of them in a huge white coat and says, "I'm Gabriel!" Shax tells him to shut up and send out Gabriel.
  • Gabriel walks out in what can only be a coat taken straight from Elton John's closet, an incredibly fluffy white feathered attire that swallows Gabriel's body and he dejectedly takes it off once he goes back inside the bookshop.
• Blink and you'll miss it moment, but demons and angels are using the same elevator from Earth to Heaven and from Hell to Earth. It is in the shop called 'The Donkey's Ears'.
• Crowley distracts Shax with complex legalese about how a formal battle between Heaven and Hell requires allowing the human bystanders time to leave the field of battle. Then he turns to Aziraphale and admits he just made it up.
  Crowley: Right, I just made up a rule that they're too stupid to check. I'm gonna get the humans out of here and then I'm coming back.

Episode 6: Every Day

• Crowley gets into Heaven by being "arrested" by Muriel, changing his clothes, and then just trusting that no one would expect a demon in Heaven. He walks right by Michael.
  Crowley: Bee hives.
• Muriel shows Crowley the file he wants, but they can't open it. Muriel simply doesn't have the authorization. Crowley does, though, to their shock.
  Crowley: I haven't always been a demon, and they never change their passwords.
• After the whole Running Gag of Crowley never remembering his acquaintances, including higher ups he should know about, when a strange man walks into Aziraphale's bookstore, Crowley is the only one who recognizes him as The Metatron. Cue Oh, Crap! reactions from the presently gathered archangels who really should have been able to identify their own boss.
• Nina and Maggie chew out Crowley for almost randomly pairing them together like toys. Nina elaborates that she is not ready for a relationship so soon after a breakup and will wait until she is ready, hoping that Maggie will still be there for her. Maggie then immediately undermines the argument by adding that she will always be there for Nina, much to the other woman's annoyance.