[sarcastically imitating Aziraphale's accent] Excuse me, ma'am, we're two supernatural entities just looking for the notorious Son of Satan. Wonder if you might help us with our inquiries?
— Crowley, summing up the series
Just because it's the End of Days, doesn't mean you can't have some laughs along the way.
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Episode 1: In the Beginning...
- At Eden, Aziraphale is sheltering Crowley with his wing in a rainstorm... while Adam and Eve use Aziraphale's flaming sword to fight off a lion.Aziraphale: Here you go, flaming sword. Don't thank me.
- When meeting with the other demons, they talk about how they tempted people of high power and would soon have them in their grasp for their lord. Then Crowley says that he cut off all the mobile networks in the area, giddily talking about how annoyed and inconvenienced that would leave the humans. His companions don't understand why this is funny, or meaningful to their jobs.
- As Crowley leaves he tells the two demons "Ciao" and Ligur asks Hastur what it means. Going off of his tone and reply, Hastur obviously doesn't know what it means.Hastur [with deep disgust]: It's Italian. It means... food.
- Crowley desperately tries to call Aziraphale's cell phone... only to get an automated message explaining all the phone lines are down. Cue a frustrated scream.
- The unspoken back and forth between the two nuns, with them winking at each other but their meanings being interpreted vastly differently by each other.
- Gabriel talks to Aziraphale, but not before asking why he's eating food when he's an angel. When Aziraphale replies that it's sushi, Gabriel just makes a disgusted face.
- Crowley telling Aziraphale about how his side chose the Antichrist to be raised by an American diplomat causing this response from Aziraphale.Aziraphale: An American diplomat? As if Armageddon were a cinematographic show you wish to sell in as many countries as possible.
- Crowley then shrugs and points out that as it's the end of the world, it's going to be in every country.
- Take one angel and one demon. Put them in a bookshop with more than a few bottles between the two of them. The result? One of the most gut-bustingly hilarious exchanges to jump from print to screen.
- Crowley drunkenly going on about whales and bananas, hands flailing in a wild attempt to illustrate his point.
- "The point is - the point is - dolphins. That's my point."
- Crowley (and Aziraphale) trying to pronounce boul- bouloo- boulooloo- fish stew.note
- How does Crowley try and convince Aziraphale that Armageddon is a bad idea? He casually says that he knows God really likes The Sound of Music, and if Armageddon were to happen and heaven wins, Aziraphale would be stuck up there listening to the music, again, and again and again. Aziraphale can only drunkenly shake his head in dismay.
- Crowley's sudden screech of "ETERNITY!" - absolutely unexpected and over-the-top, coupled with a suitably flamboyant gesture.
- Then, feeling like they've had enough, the two sober up by replenishing the wine, looking a bit constipated while doing so. After that's done, they mournfully lick their mouths, likely trying to get rid of the bad aftertaste.
- Crowley and Aziraphale go to Warlock's home as a nanny and a buck-toothed gardener respectively. What makes this especially hilarious on Crowley's part? He's dressed up exactly like Mary Poppins!Crowley: I understand you need a nanny.
Go to sleep and dream of pain,
- Crowley sings 5-year-old Warlock a sweet, gentle lullaby about how he'll destroy the world:
Doom and darkness, blood and brains,
Sleep so sweet my darling boy,
You will rule when Earths destroyed.
- When Aziraphale is conversing with the other archangels, apparently, the other workers in heaven have hoverboards and can be seen moving around in the background.
- Aziraphale giddily decides to entertain the children at Warlock's party with magic tricks that he had been practicing a long time ago. He tries to show off to Crowley but fails miserably.Crowley: No.
Aziraphale: I just need to get back into practice.
Crowley: Oh, no, no. Don't do your magic act. Please. Please. I'm actually begging, you have no idea how demeaning that is.
- Crowley points out Aziraphale's trick and asks why he can't just literally make the coin disappear. Aziraphale bashfully says that it wouldn't be as fun.
- When Aziraphale actually puts on his act at Warlock's party, he's shown to be just as awful at other kinds of stage magic. The whole scene is the height of Cringe Comedy as he tries and fails miserably to entertain Warlock and his friends.
- Crowley calls in his superiors to ask where the Hellhound was, and when he's told he should have seen it by now, he starts trying to cover for himself.Crowley: Oh, no there he is! What a nice, helly-hell-hound.
- The reactions of Crowley and Aziraphale when they realize they've been looking after the wrong boy this whole time.Aziraphale: Wrong boy?
Crowley: (beat) Wrong boy.
- The Hellhound going to look for Adam, his form a large growling and menacing looking dog. But when Adam starts to describe the kind of dog he wants, he ends up naming him "Dog" just out of convenience and the Hellhound appears as a small, utterly adorable terrier mutt.
Episode 2: The Book
- Agnes Nutter's prophecies, being written in Early Modern English, include some classic gems. Like Prophecy 2214: "In December 1980 an Apple will arise no man can eat. Invest thy money in Master Jobbes's machine and good fortune will tend thy days."
- Archangels Gabriel and Sandalphon go to Aziraphale's bookshop and loudly announce they're buying pornography to blend in with "simple humans", while holding a thick copy of Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management, and ask to discuss the purchase in private.
- There's also the fact Gabriel legitimately believes that he fooled the humans in the store in spite of them looking at him as if hes a weirdo. The only thing stopping Aziraphale from bursting his bubble is the fact that Gabriel is his superior.
- Aziraphale promptly blames the "evil" smell in the shop on Jeffrey Archer books.note
- Our introduction to young Newton Pulsifer begins with an exterior shot scene where the camera gracefully pans from the street to his bedroom window...and promptly thunks onto the glass.
- Newt leaving his new job right after frying up all their computers and a woman passes by calling him "dick". Newt quietly murmurs that that was the car's name. Then meekly says she can ask why it's named that if she wants, but as she continues to walk away, his box breaks and all of his belongings fall to the ground.
- Aziraphale panicking at Crowley's driving, especially when he's not paying attention to the road.Aziraphale: Watch out for that pedestrian!
Crowley: (the woman screams) She's on the street. She knows the risks she's taking.
Aziraphale: Watch the road, watch the road!
Aziraphale: You can't do ninety miles per hour in central London!!
- Then this.
Crowley: Why not?
- Aziraphale suggests putting on some music, and is confused when he picks an album.Aziraphale: What's a "Velvet Underground"?
Crowley: You won't like it.
Aziraphale: Ah... Be-bop.
- When confronted by one of the paintballers for wandering into an active paintballing zone, Crowley manifests into a horrifying piranha-esque creature with massive fangs and the paintballer promptly faints in shock.
- Crowley is surprised that Heaven is in favour of guns. Aziraphale, a little awkwardly, says they're in favour of them being in the "right hands" in order to "lend weight to moral arguments." Crowley promptly makes all the paintball guns real.Crowley: Just giving them a chance to make their moral arguments.
- After Crowley freezes Sister Loquacious, Aziraphale asks why he had to do that when they could simply ask her and Crowley goes on a rant as seen on the beginning of the page.
- When prompted on anything she can remember about Adam, all she remembers is his lovely toesie-woesies. Aziraphale's "d'aaw" reaction contrasts lovely to Crowley's exasperated one.
- Newt meeting Madame Tracy and she mistakes him as one of her customers. He then corrects her and says he was here to meet Shadwell.
- Crowley threatening the houseplants actually manages to be even more hysterical than it was in the book. Words do not give justice to David Tennant's dead-serious, ominous delivery as he prowls around the plants, glowering as he hisses, "Say goodbye to your friend..." Complete with dramatic music and eerie lighting in his flat. There's also the fact that the plants are literally trembling in fear as the tirade progresses.
- As funny as that whole scene is, the end of it is perfect: Crowley removes a plant which has disappointed him, apparently puts it through a grinder offscreen, and comes back to brandish its now-empty pot at the remaining plants with an expression on his face like "See?"
- Crowley's car hits Anathema Device, causing the devil and angel to hit the brakes and pause for a moment.Crowley: The last thing we need right now- (hits Anathema)
Aziraphale: ...You hit someone?
Crowley: I didn't. Someone hit me.
- "Oh Loooord... heal this biiike..."
- As Crowley's driving, Bicycle Race is playing on the radio.
- As Aziraphale goes to help Anathema, he says "let there be light" and snaps his fingers, causing a beam of light to appear above them. Crowley just as quickly extinguishes it.
- Aziraphale also going a bit overboard on the whole miracle thing and changing Anathema's bike to something better. By the time they drop her off at her cottage, he quickly turns it back to normal.
- Aziraphale finds Agnes' book of prophecies and hurriedly tries to get back inside his bookstore, with Crowley asking him what's wrong.Aziraphale: Nothing's wrong! Absolutely tickety-boo!
- Shadwell insisting to Newt to always count the nipples of people he meets in case they're witches.
- Aziraphale calling the Youngs and realizing that another of Agnes' prophecies came true.Aziraphale: Sorry! Right number!
- War's introduction includes the International Express Man approaching her while she's spreading her Hate Plague amongst the peace conference. He casually ignores all the guns being pointed while delivering her package and remarks that he's always wanted to come here on his holidays.
Episode 3: Hard Times
- Crowley and Aziraphale's conversations throughout history.
- Apparently during Noah's arc, one unicorn got loose which Crowley points out loudly.
- And when Crowley asks incredulously if God's going to destroy the entire world, Aziraphale shrugs and says he thinks it's just a local event because he's pretty sure God isn't angry at the Chinese or the Native Americans.
- At the Crucifixion, Crowley tells Aziraphale that he showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world.Aziraphale: Why did you do that?
Crowley: Well he's a carpenter from Galilee, his traveling opportunities are limited.
- Crowley telling Aziraphale he changed his name.Crowley: Crawley, just wasn't really doing it for me. It's a bit too... squirming at your feet-ish.
Aziraphale: Well, you were a snake. So what is it now? Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?
Aziraphale: (beat and shrugging his head)
- Then Crowley asks Aziraphale what Jesus said that got the men so upset to warrant getting put on the cross.Aziraphale: "Be kind to each other".
Crowley: Oh no. That'll do it.
- "What kind of a stupid question is that: 'Still a demon?' What else am I gonna be, an aardvark?"
- Aziraphale is unlucky enough to be in France during the French Revolution and is about to be executed at the guillotine. The only reason he was in France to begin with was that he really wanted some crepes.
- Crowley pulls a Big Damn Heroes moment and comes to save Aziraphale from being discorporated by Nazis, only to be left jumping around on his tiptoes because he's walking on holy ground. This continues throughout the entire conversation where he even has to momentarily lean on a bench.Crowley: (''gasping in pain) Consecrated ground! Agh! It's like... being at a beach in bare feet!
- Before he shows up, Aziraphale's reaction to his spy double-crossing him and having the threat of being possibly discorporated.Aziraphale: You can't kill me! There'll be paperwork...
- Crowley asking for a favor from Aziraphale which angers the angel and he storms off. Crowley mockingly mimics Aziraphale's frustrated "obviously".
- Before he shows up, Aziraphale's reaction to his spy double-crossing him and having the threat of being possibly discorporated.
- Crowley and Aziraphale both fall for Shadwell's obvious payroll fraud. Crowley fails to read the obviously-forged ledger, while Aziraphale honestly believes that there are Witchfinder officers named Saucepan and Milk Bottle.
- Aziraphale's insistence that they're not friends, and he doesn't even like Crowley, all said in a high-pitched, utterly querulous whine. Crowley's only response is a smug "You do!"
- Adam listens to Anathema's rant against all things industrial in what seems to be an overwhelmed daze before she finally mentions something that he can relate to.Adam: Nuclear power stations are rubbish.Anathema: Yes! Yes, they are!Adam: We went to one on a school trip, and there was nothing bubbling, and there wasn't any green smoke, and there weren't anyone in those space suits and it was all so dull.Anathema: Well, yes. But we need to get rid of them.Adam: Serves them right for not bubbling.
- The fact that, in Crowleys quest to obtain some holy water, he first tries to get some from Aziraphale, a freaking angel, and, when that fails, he resorts to planning an elaborate heist on a church. Apparently, the idea of just buying some from a priest or having a churchgoer grab some for him never occurred to him.
Episode 4: Saturday Morning Funtime
- An alien spaceship lands in front of Newt, aliens step out and chastise him for humanity's rather poor care of the Earth, and then deliver a message of "peace and universal harmony and suchlike."Alien: Now, do you know why we were asked to deliver this message?
Newt: W-well, I suppose with man's splitting of the atom—
Alien: Neither do we, sir. Neither do we.
- Newt, understandably, calls Shadwell about the aliens. Shadwell doesn't care and in fact seems annoyed that Newt failed to count their nipples.Shadwell: You're a witchfinder, not an alien finder. [rolls eyes] But I'll make a note of it.
- Pepper on whales:Pepper: If they're so smart, why do they spend all their time in water? Just swimming and eating and singing and-oh my God I want to be a whale.
- Hastur constantly killing his demon helpers, because they were making jokes.
- Crowley apparently took credit for inventing the selfie.
- Hastur and Ligur going to meet Warlock and his family believing he's still the Antichrist and when Warlock sees Hastur he tells him he smells like poo. Hastur is clearly taken aback by this comment.
- The alias he chooses is Mr. Hasta La Vista.
- As Crowley is watching the claymation movie playing, Hastur takes over and angrily tells Crowley that he was watching the wrong boy, and even worse?Hastur: He said that I... that I smelled of poo. (a rabbit puts a hand on his shoulder)
Crowley: (Beat) Do see his point.
- Crowley's license plate reading "Curtain" backwards.
- Crowley melting Ligur with holy water? Horrifying. Hastur's high-pitched screams of shock and terror? Hilarious.Crowley: Hi.
- Crowley bluffs that he has more in a spray bottle to hold Hastur off. A procedure he's very experienced in.
- Crowley pretends to be calling the higher ups but then yells out "So long, sucker!" to Hastur before disappearing into the phone. The screen shows Crowley was calling himself.
- Even better, he made the snake hiss sound when he puts out his tongue.
- During God's narration, She answers a long-standing theological question: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
- According to Her, angels don't dance, so the answer would be zero, if not for the exception of Aziraphale, who learned exactly one dance (the gavotte) in the 1880s. God notes brightly that Aziraphale had in fact gotten quite good at the gavotte, and was very disappointed when it went out of style a few decades later. Cue some grainy black-and-white footage of Aziraphale enthusiastically dancing the gavotte with a group of men at a "discreet gentlemen's club". Ergo, assuming for the sake of the exercise that Aziraphale could find a partner who was also able to dance the gavotte on the head of a pin, the answer to the age-old question is a straightforward: One.
- Demons, on the other hand, do dance — not well, mind you, but they do. Cut to a psychedelic 70s-style music video of Crowley dancing, complete with trippy transitions and an eye-searing colour palette, including one brief moment where Hastur and Ligur dance in the background while Crowley holds a giant pin.
- When Shadwell sees the pin burning in the map, he is horrified as he realizes he sent Newt to an actual supernatural event. He says the witches could be doing horrible things to Newt right at this very moment. Cut to Newt and Anathema having sex.
- Aziraphale's Precision F-Strike upon being "exorcised" is made even funnier with Michael Sheen's delivery, fully selling that this is the first time he's ever said the word but there's just no other way to put it.
Episode 5: The Doomsday Option
- Shadwell taking a rest on Madame Tracy's bed, but when he looks up to see her stuffed animals and holds up a pink flogger he asks "What the hell is this place?" followed by a well timed whip-snap.
- Aziraphale taking a chance to return to earth with no body and as his body disappears into the globe he says "Wheeee!"
- Aziraphale musing how their predicament would be so simple if he could just inhabit Crowley's body.Aziraphale: Pity I can't inhabit yours.
Aziraphale: Angel and a demon...Probably explode.
- The look on Newt's face when he realizes that Agnes predicted him and Anathema having sex. She shows him a card, and he reads aloud a note from one of Anathema's ancestors cheering him on.
- Aziraphale jumps back to Earth without a body, possesses Madame Tracy in the middle of a fake seance, and briefly "passes the phone" to the spirit trying to talk to his wife. Said spirit yells at his wife to shut up for once.Aziraphale: (after the screaming) Wasn't that touching?
- The telemarketer calling Crowel's machine, but the name on it reads "Anthony Cowwley".
- A reporter saying that reports of the condition of the M25 in the most nonchalant words are, "It's on fire, or something".Reporter: (beat) What does that even mean?
- Aziraphale asking Shadwell what kind of weapons (besides his index finger) he has. Shadwell talks about a certain gun that can fire different kinds of bullets, and starts asking the angel which ones would do.Shadwell: It'll fire anything. Silver bullets?
Aziraphale: That's werewolves.
Shadwell: Eh, garlic?
Shadwell: Mmm, brick?
Aziraphale: That should do nicely, ha!
- Hastur's squeaky voice as he's being burnt away in the Bentley, declaring how much he hated Crowley.
- A flashback showing why and how Crowley created the M25, but the rest of hell looks extremely bored at the reasons behind it while he insists it will be a good investment for them. He then asks if he can get a "wahoo" for his idea and everyone gives a lethargic "boooo".Hastur: What's a computer?
- After Adam comes to Brian lifts a croquette bat over his head and looks prepared to swing it.
- Crowley plunges his car through the blazing ring of fire that surrounds the M25, and as he drives past the cops he brightly waves at them while grinning maniacally - all while his Bentley is on fire. One cop mutters at how he saw someone waving while his partner replies that it was now someone else's problem.
- A sergeant notices the keys to their missiles turning and mutters, "What the heck?"Soldier: Did you really just say "what the heck"?
- Crowley finally arrives in the village, his car barely held together by will and determination alone. He stops to ask for directions to the air base from an old man who is clearly going through the internal dilemma - which is voiced by the narration - of wanting to tell Crowley that his car is on fire but being unable to actually get the words out. The cherry on top? The stereo's blasting "We Will Rock You".
Episode 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Our Lives
- Soon after Crowley arrives, his flaming car finally explodes. He falls to his knees, crying, while Aziraphale reminds him about the teeny-tiny Armageddon that they really need to deal with.Crowley: I am having a moment here!
- As Crowley and the others start walking onto the base, he mutters "For Heaven's sake".Crowley: For Heaven's sake — ugh. I can't believe I just said that.
- Crowley spots Adam.Crowley: (to Aziraphale who's currently in Madame Tracy's body) The curly one, shoot him!
- At Anathema's prompting, Newt saves the world by trying to fix the computers currently being used to fire off the world's nukes. As happens every time he tries to fix - or indeed, use - they immediately and catastrophically crash, cancelling the launches.
- Anathema asks what is going on, but isn't quite specific enough.Anathema: What is going on out here?
Crowley: Long story. No time.
Anathema: Well, try me.
Aziraphale: Uh okay, so, uh in the beginning, in the Garden, there was well, [glances at Crowley] he was a wily old serpent, and I was technically on apple tree duty —
- Then Crowley starts gesturing for Aziraphale to shut up.
- War takes out Aziraphale's flaming sword, which Crowley turns to Aziraphale to inquire about.Crowley: Didn't that use to be your sword?
Aziraphale: (Beat) I do believe it was.
- How does Aziraphale threaten Crowley to come up with an idea?Aziraphale: Come up with something, or I'll never talk to you again!
- This exchangeGabriel: God doesn't play games with the universe!
Crowley: Where have you been?
- Following the Armageddon-that-wasn't, Aziraphale sums up his and Crowley's efforts over the last eleven years (i.e. if Adam hadn't been allowed to grow up human due to Crowley and Aziraphale losing track of him):Aziraphale: Just imagine how awful it might have been if we'd been at all competent.
Crowley: (about to argue, but concedes) Uhhh... point taken.
- After Armageddon is averted, the world governments dismiss everything as a series of mass hallucinations. A spy snarks that one of those "hallucinations" ate their trade delegation.
- "Crowley" mumbling "tickety-boo" before passing out.
- Aziraphale and Crowley are separately set to be executed by Heaven and Hell. Hell provides Heaven some hellfire to execute Aziraphale, and Heaven provides Hell some holy water to execute Crowley. Aziraphale finds the hellfire relaxing while Crowley plays in the bath and asks for a rubber duck. Turns out that they had switched bodies on the advice of Agnes' last prophecy. Also "Crowley" occasionally flicking some water at the window towards the audience who flinches away violently.Crowley: I would suppose in the nine circles of hell there is such a thing as a rubber duck?
Gabriel: Shut your stupid mouth and die already.
- When Michael returns for the holy water, they are shocked as they see Crowley who cheerfully asks for a towel. Michael ends up procuring one, not knowing how else to react.
- "Aziraphale" wishing the other angels the best, and gets this reaction from Gabriel followed by an insincere smile.
- After Madame Tracy invites Shadwell to her place for dinner, she says she's thinking of moving away into a bungalow and suggests that he should come live with her. Shadwell then says in that case, he'd better "pop the question". Madame Tracy looks at him expectantly...then Shadwell asks her how many nipples she's got. It doubles as a heartwarming moment when she tells him she only has the two, and he seems satisfied with the answer.
- A video was released with a song by the Chattering Order of St. Beryl, called "Brand New Baby Smell". From the title alone, you'd think it's a cute little song about a baby until the nuns start singing about the Antichrist that was delivered to them and what they should dress their Lord of Darkness in.
- David Tennant is finally ginger.
- About 20,000 people offended by the show signed a petition to cancel it. For some reason, they addressed their complaints to Netflix instead of Amazon. And they want them to cancel a miniseries that is already fully aired.Netflix: ok we promise not to make any more
- Neil Gaiman's reaction to this incident is nothing short of amused.
- This stage direction from the script book:The plants are terrified. No, I don't know how we show this on television either.
- A fan created a comic illustrating how Aziraphale as Crowley would have climbed into the Holy Water bath. Neil came across it and noted that if he could stop laughing long enough, he might well confirm it.
- Gabriel is traditionally the angel who informed Mary that she was pregnant with Jesus. Just try to imagine Jon Hamm's Gabriel in that scene.
- Among the negative reviews from Christians accussing the show of being blasphemous, at least one negative review has gone in the opposite direction and accused it of encouraging creationism.