Vprisoner: That's great. I went to a Japanese heaven just like I always wanted. Kung-Fu Jesus: Sweet. How was it, bro? Vprisoner: Eh, it's a little bit overrated. Everybody's always talking about it. I mean it's really opened my eyes to just how blessed I am here on this Earth.
They Fight Crime: The mortal-goddess dichotomy is up front and center in one of the videos, leading Kung-Fu Jesus to say that the reason Amaterasu has trouble with certain tasks is that a mortal isn't there to help her.
Big International Clubs: Apparently one of these commissioned Kaz to build a bridge to Jupiter, possibly in order to pursue medibot's teacher, the inventor of nisendo, who fled there to escape an international authority.
Get Rich Quick Scheme: medibot's "salad salad bowl", a bowl of salad that is, itself, composed of salad. Kung-Fu Jesus thinks that probably has a copyright on it already. In the same video, he mentions "strawberry carbonara".
Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics: Apparently men with beards are 10% to 30% more likely to have beards than men without beards. However, IlluminatusVespucci thinks they might have to have a survey to be sure, but it's good to have a concrete range if you're going to publish something like that.
pokecapn: And apparently, we have the Great Cornholio with us again. Anyway, you have to fight two- medibot: I thought I poisoned him? Kung-Fu Jesus: Hmm, I thought so too. Unfortunately, it turns out arsenic is only good against humans.
Product Placement: Parodied when the Staples of all companies is chosen as Kung-Fu Jesus' sponsor. They spend about two and a half minutes advertising for Staples products around them, up to and including holding the LP hostage if people don't buy Staples products.
Punched or Kicked Across the Room: Done many times by Gene. This is once lampshaded by The Roll when a female enemy with a whip is sent flying off into the distance over a ledge.
The Roll: Goal!
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: Kung-Fu Jesus gives one as a eulogy for Stage 6. Oddly, he thinks it's one of his favorite stages in the game.
Zen Survivor: By after the fifth challenge video, Kung-Fu Jesus has entered the "own zone", where he has transcended the need for health, instead just trading it in order to sustain his glory.
Final Fantasy XIII- 2
Adam Smith Hates Your Guts: The posse wonders how Chocolina, an atemporal being, is able to use money in any one time period. They come to the conclusion that she takes your money, then goes to a time period where it's worth more and buys more stuff to sell to you, making an insane profit. One of them wonders if she could be the Big Bad, but this is denied by Kung-Fu Jesus as too smart for the game.
Kung-Fu Jesus: This isn't space. This is a temporal rift. This is time. pokecapn: This is right. This is the time stream. Kaz: Yeah. It's because there's no relationship between time and space. Kung-Fu Jesus: Not here.
Barbie Doll Anatomy: Discussed in Part 60. Kung-Fu Jesus is not sure whether or not Serah has... nether regions, due to her being a "Barbie doll", and they don't normally have them.
Be Careful What You Wish For: As early as Part 5, Kaz wanted to see a battle where wounding was a necessary mechanic. In Part 67... he got what he wanted, and it was far more annoying than he thought it would be.
But Thou Must: Deliberately named in Part 56 by Kung-Fu Jesus, in response to the fact that whether or not you decide to break Noel's Thou Shalt Not Kill in the finale, Caius dies either way by his sword.
In Part 5, KFJ frustrates everyone else in the room a great deal by having trouble understanding a puzzle which is obvious to them. pokecapn says "Look, the bright pink wall is right there. Why can't you just break through it and pull the switch?", referencing the time the posse collectively Failed a Spot Check for ten minutes in Eggmanland, much to the frustration of anyone watching.
In Part 40, medibot refers to a Thermadon as a "Thrill-lizard", his nickname for the lizard enemies from Sonic 2006 (because they appear to be doing the Thriller dance when Silver picks them up with telekinesis).
Calvinball: Subverted, they first assume Chronobind works this way before actually checking the rules in the game and looking them up online.
medibot: "Clocked out on a triple bind", okay, so this game has rules.
Catch Phrase: Generally when someone or something falls into an abyss, though it stops once Dreamsower and Mio Bison stop appearing.
Chained by Fashion: Discussed in Part 62, with Kaz wondering where the chains on the Long Gui came from, and wonders if he just grew them.
Chewing the Scenery: Kaz, when describing the "Advanced Moogle Hunt" in Part 52. He doesn't stop for quite some time. Kung-Fu Jesus, of all people, does this as well in Part 53.
Combat Commentator: Or rather Puzzle Commentator. Kaz takes up the position of narrating pokecapn's attempts to solve the paradox puzzles as if he were at the US Open (either golf or tennis) as of Part 42.
Cool and Unusual Punishment: The punishment for losing too many races in Chocobo racing is to have to do more paradox puzzles, according to the end of Part 43.
Kaz: He's going to be saying that for a while. I hope you're happy with yourself, medibot. medibot: I am in fact extremely satisfied, knowing that I have negatively affected the youth of tomorrow. And today.
Crapsaccharine World: Academia 4XX according to the posse. There is no way that much random screaming and falling over would mean this time is paradise.
The Ditz: The posse is intentionally trying to play Serah this way in live triggers.
Kung-Fu Jesus: Okay, so the new plan is to just make her the dumbest person on the planet. Whatever planet we happen to be on at the time.
Does This Remind You of Anything?: Kung-Fu Jesus explicitly calls some of the items for Chocobo racing in Part 43 performance-enhancing drugs. He also calls chaos "Etro's abusive husband" in Part 52.
Easy Amnesia: In Part 42, medibot forgets how to do the "Swedish chef with peanut butter in his mouth" voice immediately after stopping using it due to it being so horrible for the rest of the posse to listen to, resulting in him never being able to use it again.
Emotion Eater: According to Kung-Fu Jesus in Part 55, Scrunchy can eat bravery and faith. note That is, there are buffs in the game called "Bravery" (attack boost) and "Faith" (magic boost), and Scrunchy has abilities that let him steal those buffs from enemies when he attacks them.
Failed a Spot Check: Intentionally invoked during the "booby-trapped artefact" sequence with Serah every time they go through it, "trying to find" Yuel while jumping over her to find everything else.
Likely invoked a bit less intentionally a couple more times. For one, they collect the Chaos Crystal, turn it in, and go as far as buying Serah's ultimate weapon...and then proceed to forget to equip it for a fair chunk of episodes. (To be fair, though, this sounds like something that the posse would do on purpose just because.)
There is, however, no excuse for the episode where they are looking around Academia 4XX AF for Captain Cryptic, a camouflaged quizmaster who must first be found using only the vaguest hints from the passive exposition of NP Cs. He, like other interdimensional objects in the game, appears invisible mostly but flashes for a split-second because magic. It is so hard to see him, apparently, that he can actually be seen on-screen at one point without any of the group noticing. When this happens, you can practically hear the entire internet screaming "HE'S RIGHT THERE!!!". The group, completely unaware, actually do a full once-over of the area and go approximately twenty minutes before they find him.
Fantastic Drug: "Choco-boco-hol" in Part 55. Also in the same part, "Fractal Pot". The latter, for which this quote below is said, is described as "looking at an infinitely recursive pattern", and as the only reason people study math. Later, upon finding "Moonblossom Seed", medibot states that the future has the best drugs.
medibot: That is some primo shit.
Fantastic Racism: Kung-Fu Jesus sometimes calls Mog "Moog", which he decides is a racial slur for Moogles.
pokecapn: So, little known fact on how they named the paradigms. There's actually a Fabula Nova Crystallis version of the Kama Sutra. And they took all of the paradigm names from that book. So you can see we are now in the Relentless Assault sexual position. And we've gone Tortoise style right now.
medibot: Don't try to talk to the monster and try to establish a diplomatic dialogue or something, just murder it. Who's the real monster here?
Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: In Part 45, the posse comes to the conclusion that the reason Noel is the only person left in his time period is because he killed everyone else, forcing himself to become a monster hunter instead.
I Am Spartacus: In reaction to misattributed quotes on this very page, the posse says that "all are Kaz" in Part 68.
Kung-Fu Jesus: You heard it here, folks. medibot is the only botanist in the entire world, and he's really good at it. Kaz: He systematically devoured all other botanists, adding their power to his own.
Last Lousy Point: KFJ farms Moblins for Power Crystals, and he does get them frequently, until he only needs one more, at which point Moblins start spawning very rarely, and refuse to drop Power Crystals when they do. To rub it in, the game keeps giving him incredibly rare drops, but not the much more common Power Crystals.
medibot: I don't like the amount of thinking going into this.
Mind over Matter: How the posse proposes that Noel, Mog, and Serah are able to open chests by simply pointing at them.
Most Annoying Sound: In-Universe, several are this for the posse throughout the Let's Play, both by the posse themselves and by the game. An example that's referenced multiple times is the "Crazy Chocobo" song for the Rambunctious Chocobo.
pokecapn: This FAQ specifically says that during this time the camera offers excellent chances for up skirt shots. Kung-Fu Jesus: *tries, but only sees darkness* A dark void awaits us. An expertly painted dark void.
Kung-Fu Jesus: The camera is going to let us be perverts. It's also going to let us be total fucking morons.
Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Scrunchy the Chichu, which is known as the "death-ticle" or testicle by the posse, is almost as strong as Gank in about half the levels (being able to level far more), and about a fifth of the size. By Part 47, at near his full level, he has far higher strength than Gank.
Pirate: In Part 55, the posse changes Mog's outfit from Chocolate to one akin to one of these. They decide it is the "tasteful" choice.
Power at a Price: In Part 66, Kung-Fu Jesus calls the ability to speed up the game "power at a cost", since, while they enjoy the new speed (and the speed of it does give more gravitas to the finale), it makes performing Feral Links impossible due to an inability to time them correctly.
medibot: Suddenly this game is interesting again, and I don't know why... wait, there it is.
Profiling: In Part 40, non-criminal and non-racial version in the case of pokecapn determining that this LP is statistically more mature than his own based on general demographics. More a statement of what he views as fact than a bad thing, though.
Kung-Fu Jesus: They're all 700 years old! I would die too!
Reality Subtext: To one of the later fragments of a future Noel telling the past Noel to be careful, and Serah telling him to stop trying so hard to justify it. pokecapn reads it as Square Enix talking to the audience.
pokecapn: You're thinking too hard, player! Just accept what we tell you at face value!
Red Sky, Take Warning: medibot approves of the one in the dream version of a Dying World 700 AF, as noted in Part 60.
medibot: I want all humans to live in fear under this sky.
pokecapn: That sounds so bad, and yet so amazing at the same time. medibot: It's like... it sounds bad, but you still want it to exist.
To pass the time while KFJ farms enemies, pokecapn and Kaz read terrible FFXIII-2 crossover fanfics, pronouncing every spelling mistake and grammatical error as they are written, and laughing at the sheer displays of stupidity and incompetence. Here are some highlights from a crossover with Fullmetal Alchemist that Kaz reads:
Kaz: "She was curiously looking at me in concern to know about what I might- what might be I answer? and that was really bothering me though." (Beat) Gah, it's some kind of... robot language. Kaz: "I found out he was right, my ass was really burning." That's like the best sentence in this whole thing, "I found out he was right, my ass was really burning." Kaz: "Thank God! I got relief from the fire when they after me with a water splash." (pokecapn and KFJ crack up laughing and make him read the sentence again)
So Okay, It's Average: invokedmedibot's description of the game when he finally speaks, noting that the game is so average that it leaves him completely uncaring, owing to why he didn't speak previously.
medibot: This is a game, that, despite the parts, comes together to elicit absolutely no response from me. I feel nothing about this game. I could not be more nonplussed. It's amazing! It's fascinating! Just how nonplussed I am.
However, in Part 56, he admits that the game did eventually win in eliciting an emotional response from him.... hatred of all video games.
Soundtrack Dissonance: Both inverted and played straight after a fashion. Starting in Part 48, the posse uses Xenoblade's soundtrack instead of the game's.invoked
Speech Impediment: Apparently medibot has a lisp. It's not okay if you make fun of others with a lisp, but it is okay when you make fun of his lisp, or so he says.
Springtime for Hitler: Kung-Fu Jesus is, as of Part 33, actively attempting to alienate his viewers so he does not have to play the game anymore, due to disliking the game that much. He seems to grow out of it, however, as he does try Min-Maxing in later videos.
Squee: Kung-Fu Jesus has a tendency to do this about Gank, though this lessens in later episodes, especially as Scrunchy gets better than him.
The entire posse (particularly Kaz) reacts this way to the return of Gogmagog in episode 52.
The Stoic: Kung-Fu Jesus admits he doesn't panic enough in Part 40, only pretending to panic instead.
Not So Stoic: By contrast with Kung-Fu Jesus, medibot is stated by Kaz to have poor panic control, though good control with everything else he does.
Take That, Audience!: The last few minutes of the final video is KFJ insulting everyone who's watched the let's play from beginning to end for tolerating such a horrible game. In Part 68, the posse reads this very page, and implicitly insults the editors who they believe misworded quotes or attributed them to the wrong people, as well as general wording of examples.
Temporal Paradox: By Part 52, the posse believes that the game has ruined the term for them, rendering it meaningless.
Unusually Uninteresting Sight: In Part 57, the posse discusses this when considering monsters in fantasy games. They're just assumed to exist, and any problems can be explained as them becoming more prevalent or dangerous somehow.
Villain Has a Point: In Part 66, Mio Bison notes that Caius does know more about Yuel than Noel, who only saw one of their lives in its entirety, since Caius is immortal, and has seen countless others. Therefore, Noel doesn't really have any right to argue with him about how much he knows Yuel.
What Happened to the Mouse?: Dreamsower and Mio Bison seem to be completely absent from later videos, though this might just be because they didn't come over for the sessions, leaving only the core four posse members.
The Bus Came Back: Dreamsower and Mio Bison return in Part 66, the first part of Lightning's DLC, "Requiem of the Goddess", as well as the last time through the Final Boss for the secret ending.
What the Hell, Hero?: The posse calls Kung-Fu Jesus out on skipping an early cutscene because he got bored of it, when they are playing the game to play the whole game, not just look at what they find enjoyable.