Hunter: The Parenting / Characters

Here is a list of characters from the web animation Hunter: The Parenting.

The Family^note

open/close all folders

Allies

Detective Sergeant Guy Chapman (Unmarked spoilers for audiolog 3!)

Detective Sergeant Guy Chapman

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/17ba78cb_9279_4f4c_a8ee_62339fe73f45.jpeg

Are you comfortable?

Voiced by: StellarElite

A police officer from Wells-Next-The-Sea, who interviews Big-D after he's taken into custody in the third audio drama. He's actually a ghoul, initially bonded to the Regent of the Tremere Chantry, but being deprived of vitae motivates him to instead bond himself to Kevin.

And Another Thing...: How he brings up Kevin's sister, which utterly destroys Big-D's story. The funny part is that it was completely unintentional on his part. He had bought it completely and was just being nice.
Affably Evil: A perfectly friendly and mellow police officer, who is very clear that there are few to none things that he wouldn't do for even a bit of Vampire Blood and that he considers this a perfectly acceptable deal.
Big Damn Heroes: In audiolog 5, he steps in after Brok pulls a knife (well, three knives) on Marckus and scares him into leaving.
Corrupt Cop: He's a policeman, but he's willing to falsify report, enable supernatural predators and even kill if it gets him his fix of vitae. What moves it out of More than Mind Control and into this trope is that he's on the verge on breaking free of his blood bond but actively wants to renew it, and he doesn't care with whom.
Establishing Character Moment: Chapman establishes himself as a professional and a Nice Guy by trying to make the injured Big-D feel comfortable, asking him about his bandaged jaw, and offering to make the man some coffee — all which a typical policeman would do.
Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Retained his love for his children even after his transformation, and part of the reason he enjoys ghouldom so much is the chance to to be in their lives as long as possible.
Eye-Obscuring Hat: His eyes are visible, but his helmet casts a shadow over the upper part of his face, making him appear more sinister.
Fantastic Drug: As a ghoul, he's hopelessly addicted to vampire blood and says outright that heroin doesn't compare to the rush he gets from vitae.
Forgot to Feed the Monster: The "monster" in the equation. The Regent is so inattentive and incompetent that she forgot to renew his blood-bond for over half a year, and his desperation for vitae pushes him to find a new master.
Friend on the Force: The reason Big-D encourages Kevin to accept Chapman as a ghoul — having a friendly face in the local police force, and one connected to the Camarilla at that, is a tremendous boon for the Family's monster hunting. It pays off when Marckus is getting accosted in the bar by a drunken man with a knife.
Functional Addict: He's very professional and put-together for someone who hasn't had his fix in eight months and is going through withdrawal so severe, he no longer cares if he lives or dies.
The Gadfly: When Kevin drags Guy into his argument with Big D about the validity of whether you can get a blender for 99 pence, Guy asks why they don't just use a spoon. This sets off both Big D and Kevin, who start screaming at him in fury and frustration, respectively, while he contentedly sips Kevin's Vitae with a straw.
Generic Name: Guy Chapman. It's about as seethrough as Hugh Mann. They even actively hang a lampshade on it during the episode in which he's introduced.
Happiness in Slavery: He enjoys being a ghoul, for the agelessness and vitality it gives him, as well as the euphoric qualities of drinking vampiric blood. This is contrasted with his new master Kevin, who is aghast that anyone would willingly subject themselves to a blood bond.
Loose Lips: If Chapman hadn't mentioned the tunnels directly after Big-D spent so much time intentionally avoiding the topic, and hadn't then also called out Big-D on Kevin's sister still looking for him, then he wouldn't have been caught out as a Camarilla ghoul and then reeled in with the potential offer of Kevin's blood to feed his addiction.
Man Bites Man: Claims to have killed two people with his teeth. He does not elaborate.
Mask of Sanity: He's a Mellow Fellow, but freely admits that his addiction to vampire blood is so intense that he would eagerly murder everyone in his constabulary in return for a single drop, and that he's also willing to attack Big-D and Kevin to get it (despite frank awareness that he would only fail and die). It doesn't help that he's been unable to acquire vampire blood for eight months by that point.
Mellow Fellow: He's nothing but polite, chummy and laid-back, even in the face of Big-D's theatrics. The only thing that breaks his composure is the shock of believing Big-D was testing him on behalf of the Camarilla. Later, the discovery that Big-D and Kevin are actually enemies of the Camarilla elicts little more than bemusement from him, at worst being mildly disappointed with himself for being so easily fooled.
Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: He doesn't care about what any of his assignments are or the crimes he is asked to commit. All he cares about is getting his vampire blood fix. Once he sees Big-D has Kevin/"Herbie" with him, he almost immediately asks for a bloodbond to replace the Regent since she has forgotten to renew theirs for over 8 months. While he barely knows Kevin, he knows Kevin would be more attentive and give him more of the good stuff ON TIME.
The Mole: Having an inside man within the police department is one of the biggest advantages Big-D sees in getting Chapman on their side and the driving force behind his argument to Kevin while trying to convince him to bloodbond.
Nice Guy: Chapman is friendly and considerate, showing genuine concern for Big-D after hearing his story. Even after we learn he's a ghoul, and he learns that Big-D and Kevin aren't working for his usual boss, his attitude does not change.
Nominal Hero: He doesn't care that he's already killed 6 people and that he WILL kill more. All he wants is his bloodbond and all the perks that come with it. If the Regent just just kept up her side of the bargain, he would have happily served the evil Camarilla forever. It's just by pure chance that Big-D stumbled on him and managed to recruit him. That being said, he knows Kevin will give him the blood he needs on time and, therefore, is evil loyal.
Oh, Crap!: His abrupt about-face in attitude when Big-D twigs that Chapman is definitely a ghoul and pulls off a magnificent Bavarian Fire Drill. Chapman goes from affable to just short of begging for his life in an instant. He doesn't even try to question Big-D's bluff, perhaps due to his addiction.
Only in It for the Money: He does not care for the what the Camarilla or the Family is trying to accomplish. He just wants his fix.
Our Ghouls Are Creepier: He turns out to be one of the Tremere Regent's ghouls — a human granted superhuman physical ability and limited access to Disciplines by drinking vampire blood, at the cost of becoming hopelessly addicted and brainwashed by a blood bond. However, he hasn't been given blood by the Regent in months, so he resorts to becoming Kevin's ghoul to get his fix.
Punch-Clock Villain: He'll do anything for some vitae, whether for good or ill.
The Renfield: Courtesy of the blood-bond. As noted in other tropes here, drinking vampire blood (aka 'vitae') has a slew of perks that more than make up for the brainwashing as far as Chapman is concerned. Now if only the Regent wasn't a neglectful, incompetent out-of-touch old fart.
Spotting the Thread: After Big-D used Kevin Wettsworth's identity as a cover during the whole interrogation, Chapman reveals that Kevin is one of the missing-persons cases still being followed up on by a close relative, causing Big-D to suffer a last-second fumble regarding the relative's identity. Fortunately, Big-D gets Chapman to back off by gambling on a Bavarian Fire Drill, convincing the detective that the whole thing was a test by Chapman's Camarilla superiors.
- Before this, Chapman correctly points out an inconsistency in Big-D's story, claiming to have been simultaneously thrown out the window by the bikers, yet also pulled out the window by Marckus (who had been thrown out before him). However, since Marckus had given an almost identical testimony, D is able to spin the blunder as the result of a physical struggle.
- Chapman also spotted, but did not pull, a different thread: Big-D looks nothing like the picture on Kevin's ID.
- This is also how Big D finally confirms that Chapman is indeed a Ghoul, as he offhandedly mentions the tunnels that the Licks had been squatting in, something only the Sabbat, Camarilla, and their agents would know about.
The Stoic: The man hasn't had vampire blood in 8 months and he's just about willing to murder his entire constabulary and risking the Masquerade just to get it. He also doesn't care that Kevin and Big-D want to kill his old bosses with the Camarilla. He FURTHER doesn't care if the Family are a cult. He also says he's so desperate that he will attack Big-D and Kevin for the blood even though he knows it will get him killed. Yet, the entire time, the man's voice barely changes from his happy-go-lucky attitude.
Walking Spoiler: It's impossible to talk about Chapman without spoiling the ending of his debut audiolog, or the fact that he becomes an ally of the Family through his blood bond being shifted to Kevin.
Worf Had the Flu: He's a Camarilla agent fully in on the Masquerade and a detective to boot while his facilities are fully intact. Despite that, he is completely unable to figure out that ANY of his interviewees are lying. He claims to be a terrible detective which could be true given he's assigned to a backwater town of little importance to the police in spite of the local disappearances. It could also just be this trope as he hasn't had vampire blood in 8 months and he's so desperate that he's willing to kill dozens of people and/or risk dying himself to get it (even injecting heroin from evidence to try to feed his addiction). Though, he also barely thought about the significance that Kevin and Big-D don't look anything alike and didn't put together that Big-D didn't match Kevin's ID because they are two different people. Big-D just writes it off as him being a "degenerate ghoul whose brain is polluted with vampire sludge" which further suggests that he's just in so much withdrawal that he isn't at the top of his game.

The Arcanum

An international group of supernatural knowledge seekers, the Arcanum spans the world, though each Lodge generally tends to operate mostly autonomously. The local lodge is located in Great Yarmouth.

Occam O'Connell

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2024_03_09_224622.png

Voiced By: Oculus Imperia

Chancellor of the Great Yarmouth Chapter House of the Arcanum.

Amicable Exes: Averted; he and Big-D were once lovers, but in the modern day there's a lot of bad blood between them. Moreover, D insists they're not technically exes, as he never signed the divorce papers.
Bald Head of Toughness: He doesn't have any hair above his eyebrows, and is able to keep Big-D and Remold under control by force when needed.
Bald Mystic: The first ordinary human to be shown using magic, and the leader of the Arcanum's chapterhouse, is a bald man with a greying beard.
Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: It's not like he wants to be, but someone has to keep his uncle and his ex under control. Especially when they're in the same place.
Coat Cape: Wears a black coat with a popped collar over his shoulders, evoking the look of a high-collared wizard cape.
Expy: He bares more than a passing resemblence to his voice actors other character, being a bald, bearded scholar of secret knowledge, and an Only Sane Man.
Hidden Depths: While he endures Big-D and Remold's Ham-to-Ham Combat with a Thousand-Yard Stare, we're treated to an Imagine Spot of Occam skydiving, suggesting that's what he'd honestly rather be doing right now.
Lawful Pushover: Occam is mentioned to not agree with the destruction of all of the research that Big D and his family has contributed to the Arcanum. However, he was unable to resist the will of Remold and his allies. During the audiolog of Marckus and his friends out pubbing they mention that Remold and the old guard have gotten even worse about pushing Occam around ever since Big D and his clan was kicked out of the Arcanum. However, when push comes to shove, he will assert his authority and take charge, as shown with how he handles Big-D and Remold being in the same room together.
Light 'em Up: A wielder of Irish "solar sorcery". Since sunlight is deadly to vampires, he can use his magic to perform an Imposter Exposing Test on blood samples to root out a ghoul spy within the chapter house.
Oireland: Averted, as despite being an Irishman with a bit of a temper when pressed, he is generally a cool-headed and reasonable man who is far more known as a scholar and arcanist than a brawler or lout, and he even speaks in Irish at one point when reprimanding D and Remold.
Only Sane Man: Frequently finds himself put between Big D and Remold Blacklaw during their Ham-to-Ham Combat, and on more than one occasion resorts to using magic to chastise them.
Order Versus Chaos: The main source of his conflict with Big-D. The latter believes that Occam sold the Arcanum out to government lobbyists and private-interest groups for funding, while Occam believes that Big-D's mental instability and recklessness are a drain on Arcanum resources and has no place within a functioning group.
Big-D: You sold us out to a menagerie of government stooges, private interests, and play-pretend templars!
Occam: I'd trust Big Government over Big-D any day!
Big-D: HMPH! Why don't you marry HIM, then?
Reasonable Authority Figure: Marckus and his friends, all of whom have major issues with the Arcanum's current leadership, seem to respect Occam personally, even if they think he's a pushover who easily bends to the will of Remold and Co. When Remold and Big-D come into blows, Occam is more than capable of stopping them both. He's also capable of putting his distaste of Big-D aside and work with him if he comes to the Arcanum with even semi-credible information about internal threats too great to ignore. Judging by his first scene that we see him in, he's also somewhat socialble with his subordinates, or at least with Grimal and Elise.
Straight Gay: Was in a previous relationship with Big-D, and possesses almost zero effeminate traits.
Tranquil Fury: When Fatigue's body is discovered, no one is more furious than Occam, who quietly declares that the culprit won't see the morning while his expression is the very picture of barely-restrained rage.
Working with the Ex: He's one of Big-D's former lovers, and isn't exactly thrilled to be around him again, but a vampiric infiltration of the Arcanum leaves him little choice.

Remold Blacklaw

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2024_03_09_225400.png

Voiced by: TheKuznetsov

One of the leaders of the Norfolk branch of the Arcanum and Brok's father.

Arch-Enemy: To Big-D, the two are like water and oil. His hate for Big-D runs so deep that when he, his family, and Kitten^* were banished from the arcanum Blacklaw had all of their research on vampires burned. As a member of a scholastic organization.
Badass Normal: He has no other powers other than his muscles and that's all he needed to fight Big-D. Also if the man himself is to be believed, he hunts werebears on safari, though given his track record of jumping to wild conclusions he might have been hunting actual bears and just thought they were werebears.
Badass in a Nice Suit: Fitting his status as a leader of the local branch of the arcanum, Remold wears a fancy three-piece suit and as shown in his regular fisticuffs against Big-D it doesn't slow down his fighting capability one bit.
Cane Fu: Chapter 4 has him use a cane a few times when fighting against Big-D and his "D-loyalists", from getting into an "improvised blade lock" to actually using it against Big-D's sword and somehow being able to keep up with him.
Cloudcuckoolander: Much like D, in that he's profoundly bizarre in actions. He hunts werebears, uses a car battery as a "polygraph" and wholeheartedly believes D is Kevin due to the license D stole.
Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe: He's a wealthy, snooty Belgian man always seen with a tobacco pipe clenched between his teeth; though considering his harsh facial features and aggressive temperament, he looks more like a Cigar Chomper.
Egomaniac Hunter: Implied, as he mentions going out on "werebear safaris", despite active monster hunting being discouraged by the Arcanum. He brought his son Brok on the hunting trips, though Brok's confusion suggests he was unaware that they were shooting supernatural monsters rather than mere bears.
Electric Torture: As the search for The Mole ramps up, Remold and Brok abduct Kitten, Grimal and Amanda to have them subjected to a Lie Detector test combined with an electric chair. Grimal is rescued from the chair, but Amanda is on the floor delirious from the pain (which Remold claims is evidence that she was lying).
Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Remold is a temperamental and distrustful old toad, but when identifying himself to the Arcanum, he (at the same time as Big-D, mind) proudly declares himself to be a father, grandfather, and the uncle of Occam.
Everyone Has Standards:
- He really didn't like the horrible things Brok said, but then again no one else did either.
- For as much of a gleeful Large Ham he is constantly, Remold is also positively horrified silent by the brutality of Fatigue's death alongside everyone else in the room.
Evil Counterpart: He's more similar to Big-D than either man would ever want to hear. They're both elderly patriarchs who take great pride in their families and accomplishments, active Hunters despite the Arcanum's ban on it, and both of them are loud and belligerent eccentrics at least slightly detached from reality. However, Remold is an unrepentant classist who thinks that the working class are physically incapable of sweating, and D is both fiscally and socially progressive. D is intelligent enough to know that torture is ineffective, meanwhile Remold's modus opperandi is Torture First, Ask Questions Later. D raised his children to be fairly kind folk who detest the idea of hurting innocents, but Brock is even more of a sadistic, violent bigot than his father.
The Friend Nobody Likes: The 4th episode reveals how disliked Remold is among the cast. Between Big D's clan and the Arcanum, it seems only his son likes him; Occam is just as fed up with his antics as he is with Big D's, and no other member has many good words to say about him, with Grimal being especially loud about how much she hates him. Even kindhearted Lord Fatigue will let his frustration with him bleed into his words. He politely points out that Remold's handling of the Cold Tessillation afforded the Ghoul time to sneak away and strangle Occam, as he only worked with those he deemed strongest to carry the device, leaving everyone else far behind to their own devices.
Gratuitous French: Calls himself Brok's "pauvre père" (poor father) at one point. According to Grimal and Door he is Belgian (despite his surname being the very British "Blacklaw"), meaning that French is likely his native language. Once he appears in person in Chapter 4, he constantly speaks phrases, words, and sentences in French further proving that it might actually be his native language.
Grumpy Old Man: Exaggerated. He's not just grumpy; he's temperamental, violent, and really has it out for the protagonists.
Hair-Trigger Temper: One thing he has in common with his son, despite his attempts at being refined, is a ferocious temper, especially when Big-D is involved.
Hypocritical Humor: He chastises his son Brok for spouting crass and sexist profanity at him over the phone, despite using a few swear words himself. To be fair, whatever cuss words he said were not as bad as what Brok said (due to not being censored), and he has every right to be pissed.
Hypocrite: What enrages Marckus is that as an Arcanum member, he prioritizes gathering knowledge on the supernatural... when he was the one to ban Big-D and the Family from the Arcanum (even those merely associated with them like Kitten) and destroy all the research the Family gathered on Vampires, no matter how helpful said research might've been.
Informed Flaw: Likely overlapping with Characterization Marches On - During Marckus' night out with his friends, Grimal states that Remold is in poor health and perpetually moments away from a heart attack. When he actually appears in person in Chapter 4, it's proven that not only is he in perfect health despite his age, he is very physically fit, able to lift a massive safe with no help but Big-D, and can even keep up with Big-D in a straight fight. Remold and Big-D get into a Pummel Duel numerous times throughout the chapter, such that one is left wondering how Grimal even got the impression, other than her obvious dislike of Remold.
Jerkass: Is incredibly rude, condescending, classist, and elitist.
Lantern Jaw of Justice: Inverted; like his son Brok, he antagonizes a member of the Family in his own way, in his case having all of them booted out of the Arcanum (including Kitten, just for being Marckus' fianceé) and having all the research on Vampires they provided burned for presumably petty reasons.
Large Ham: Is hammy enough to create Ham-to-Ham Combat between him and Big-D.
Lawful Stupid: In a sense; he rallied for destroying all research and documents associated with the renegade Big-D and his family, regardless of the contents of that research and how much it could help against vampires. It says a lot that despite being in an agency that's supposed to store knowledge, he supports the idea of burning all documents penned by and belonging to Big-D and his family.
Marckus: That is absolutely god damn asinine. Supernatural scholars my ass. What is LESS scholarly than BURNING DOCUMENTS? What an ABSOLUTE CIRCUS! And all the competent clowns are DEAD!
Lightning Bruiser: Remold is able to match Big D in strength and speed. He also is able to take a bottle to the head from Marckus and overpower him easily, but is not as durable as his son, at least according to Big D.
Like Father, Like Son: While he tries to be classy, it's clear by Chapter 4 that Remold has just as much of a short temper as his son, and he interacts with Big-D in exactly the same manner that Brok does with Marckus: violently.
Obnoxious In-Laws: The uncle of Occam O'Connell, who was once Big-D's husband. Yet another reason he has to hate Big-D
Obstructive Bureaucrat: He and the rest of the Old Guard are like this, much to the rest of the Arcanum's chagrin.
Politically Incorrect Hero: Is on the side of the Arcanum, and thus humanity as a whole, but has a very low opinion of the lower class, derogatorily dismissing the two maids as "laborers".
Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: Remold is shown to engage in incredibly quick and strong jabs that can rival Big-D's own that they almost regularly engage in a Pummel Duel for quite a bit of Chapter 4.
Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: He seems to have this relationship with Big-D, actively going out of his way to inconvenience him and his family by not only having them banned from the Arcanum, but also lobbying to have their terms for the supernatural banned and all the research they contributed to the organization destroyed. When Remold actually appears onscreen, his feud with Big-D extends into irrational paranoid distrust and full-blown violence.
Upper-Class Twit: Remold is a wealthy upper-crust individual, but he's also an irrational and hot-tempered blowhard who's not entirely connected to reality's Wi-Fi.

Brokham "Brok" Blacklaw

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2024_03_09_225642.png

Voiced by: Haven Kendrick

Leader of the local gang of toughs, went to school with Marckus and bullied him mercilessly. Also the son of a local Arcanum leader, and head of security for the Yarmouth chapter house.

#1 Dime: Carries around a folding chair which he claims is a family heirloom. Chapter 4 even has him sitting on it during the conference room meeting to root out The Mole.
Actually Pretty Funny: After Marckus pranks him, he's momentarily incandescent with rage and prepared to outright kill Marckus and Grim, before calming down slightly and admitting that it was a funny prank and that Marckus got him good. However, he still intends to throttle Marckus on general principles.
Arch-Enemy: He never liked Marckus, but after being humiliated at the pub, he's got a special hatred for the redhead.
The Brute: And proud of it.
The Bully: In their school days, he put a seagull in Marckus' backpack, tore his most valuable trading card, and ate his textbooks. And then when they meet in a pub decades later, he starts bullying Marckus again.
Butt-Monkey: His night at the bar was not a good one, although he does deserve it:
- His night gets ruined when Marckus tricks him into yelling excessive amounts of vulgar profanity at his father, who immediately reprimands Brok and commands him to return home in an hour.
- He gets tricked again into drinking almost a gallon of heavily alcoholic applejack, which was also contaminated with salmonella.
- When he has enough and pulls out a switchblade on Marckus, the first one breaks apart in his hand and the second "detonates" (the springs conveniently malfunctioned and caused it to break apart even more violently). His third knife, a bowie knife, is much more sturdy...
- And then he gets in trouble with Guy Chapman (an off-duty police officer) due to that knife being unlicensed, at which point he flees.
- He also gets bitten by Grimal multiple times when he gets her in a headlock with intent to strangle her.
Calling the Young Man Out: He ends up on the receiving end of a severe tongue-lashing when he is tricked into calling and yelling vulgar, sexist profanity at his own father. Oh, Crap! doesn't begin to describe the shock he felt when he discovers this.
Cloudcuckoolander: It may be another symptom of abject stupidity, but it takes a very particular mindset to bring your own furniture to a bar thinking barstools are objectively shit because they're round. Episode 4 also reveals he measures time in tire changes and football games.
Drink-Based Characterization: While actually ordering his pint like everyone's supposed to know what it is paints his arrogance well, the actual order is... stranger. Mixing Stella Artois (known for being strong and leading to mean drunks), Explorer (with less stereotypes tied to it, but seemingly high quality) and Irn Bru (a Scottish soft drink known for being highly divisive in taste) in a single pint is hard to parse; other than the strength involved it just seems to paint him as both rich and profoundly weird.
Drunken Glow: After he drinks six pints (3/4 gallons) of applejack, it sticks with him for the rest of the scene.
Dumbass Has a Point: Despite his general lack of intelligence, in Chapter 4, he's the first one to actually make note of how suspiciously long it's been taking Occam to root out the ghoul. Sure enough, it turns out that the ghoul had incapacitated Occam while no one was looking.
Harry: He's got a point?? Occam should have been done by now.
Dumb Muscle: Super strong and capable of drinking six pints, but mentally stunted.
Expy: Between his cruelty, stupidity, rough personality, immense physical strength, and his incredibly thick Cockney accent, he is very much a typical Ork Boss transplanted into the World of Darkness. His subtitles are colored a dark shade of green and he even says the word "krump" a few times in "Feuds of our Fathers" really just pushing the fact that he's practically an Ork in a human's body.
Extreme Omnivore: According to Marckus in "Marckus Goes Pubbing," Brok and his goons tended to bully him by eating his school textbooks. And during the roll-call of Chapter 4, Brok presents his membership card with his mouth as he's chewing on a corner of it.
Even Evil Has Loved Ones: At the end of Chapter 4, when the group finds Spit curled up and sobbing in obvious terror and the kind old Wernon Fatigue grotesquely murdered, Brok is positively trembling in trying to contain his immense rage.
Evil Sounds Deep: He has a deep and rough voice, which he inherited from his father, but he's a Psychopathic Manchild who bullies Marckus at every opportunity. Combined with his lack of intelligence, his voice makes him come off as an absolute lunkhead.
Faux Affably Evil: His abrasive and unpleasant behavior is coupled with a thin-veiled faux-brotherly amicability that only makes him more repugnant. Until he gets in trouble with his dad (thanks to Marckus). Then he drops it completely in favor of open hostility.
Football Hooligans: Remarks to the bartender about wanting to "catch the footy". In fact, keeping with the 40k comparisons, he and his cronies are a lot like another group of belligerent, Cockney-accented, idiotic thugs, with Brok being the boss ork and Git & Spit being either gretchin or lesser boyz. Due to the Orks being originally based on British football hooligans already, it loops around in a way.
The Gadfly: When he's not physically beating people up in a fit of rage, he's harassing them and getting under their skin with immature taunts spoken with a mocking Faux Affably Evil tone. Only he and his cronies find it funny.
Brok: Oi, wow. It's been a long time! What happened, Marcky? Throw yourself down the stairs again, did ya?
Marckus: I didn't throw myself down the bloody stairs.
Brok: But ye look exactly like you did when you threw yourself down those stairs all those years ago. I remember it so well!
Marckus: You PUSHED me.
Brok: MATE, COME ON! I didn't push ya! I just nudged ya a little, friendly-like, and then you just threw yourself down the stairs like a bloody diver! So dramatic.
Hidden Depths: While most of the time he's a generic high school bully in an adult's body, he has shown some level of empathy towards those he cares for. Near the end of Chapter 4 when he heard what sounded like someone screaming in pain he temporarily dropped his feud with Marckus, then ordered everyone to run upstairs to help, and when he found Fatigue's torn apart corpse and Spit crying in fetal position he is visibly furious. He does have some morals and empathy for others deep down.
Humiliation Conga: He suffers this in one night, mostly thanks to Marckus — first he's tricked into yelling excessive amounts of sexist profanity at his own father over the phone, and is yelled at for it. Then he's tricked again into drinking almost a gallon of applejack that was somehow heavily contaminated with salmonella; when he learns the deception, he attempts to strangle Grimal by pulling her into a headlock, which gets him bitten in the arm multiple times. Then Marckus scares him by threatening to beat him with his own chair, which turns out to be a Blacklaw family heirloom. When he later gets angry enough at Marckus and attempts to attack him with switchblades, they both fall apart in his hands, with the second detonating and hurting his hand (i.e. the springs malfunctioned and caused it to break apart more violently). Then he gets in trouble with Guy Chapman when he pulls out a bowie knife, which is unlicensed, finally forcing him and his goons, Spit and Git, to flee the pub.
Jerkass: He's not even close to being a good-mannered fellow, and even the bartender hates him.
Kick the Dog: Unlike Marckus, who is Nice to the Waiter, He is as rude and unsavory as possible to the barkeep, deliberately antagonizing him for no reason other than being a dick. It's his Establishing Character Moment.
Kids Are Cruel: He bullied Marckus when they were kids; among the things he did was putting a seagull in Marckus' backpack, tearing his most valuable trading card, and stealing (and then eating) his textbooks. He also fondly remembers how he pushed Marckus down the stairs at school, which left the latter severely injured. When they meet in a pub almost two decades later, the fact that the first thing he does is start bullying Marckus again shows that unlike Marckus, he never really changed.
Lantern Jaw of Justice: Inverted; his face is noticably bottom-heavy, with a big chin and lower jaw. Grimal describes his bottom jaw as looking like its hanging by a thread. It only emphasizes his brutish nature.
Large and in Charge: Even if it's just a headbox, Brok is easily far bigger than his two cronies. When he is show in person for Chapter 4, he's shown to be insanely massive and basically towers over quite a bit of the characters. Considering he's pretty much Hunter: The Parenting's equivalent to an Ork, its very fitting.
Laser-Guided Karma: His intended night at the pub quickly turns into a Humiliation Conga because of his overall Jerkass behavior. His crude attempts to flirt with Marckus' "fianceé" over the latter's phone only gets him yelled at when it turns out Marckus tricked him into calling his own irate father, who commands him to come back home in one hour. The bartender he ordered around like a servant earlier complies with Marckus' plan to get him drunk out of disgust for him, which would've worked if he hadn't gotten angry enough to make himself sober again. Then when he tries to attack Marckus with a knife, not only do his first two literally fall apart (with the second detonating while he's holding it and hurting his hand), but also nearly gets him jailed when he pulls out an unlicensed bowie knife just as Guy Chapman arrives on the scene.
Lawman Baton: Being the head of security for the local chapter house, he is seen carrying a simple wooden club. Although due to his very unlikeable personality he mostly uses it to harass others.
Locked Out of the Loop: Implied, as in episode 4 he seems confused at least about existence of the werecreatures, despite his father taking him on his "werebear safari". It's unclear if he knew about Vampires before events of episode 4.
Lower-Class Lout: Brok comes from a rich family, but he still acts and speaks like a lower-class thug. In "Marckus Goes Pubbing," he snatches Marckus' phone and calls up who he thinks is his Marckus' fianceé, to shout crass and sexist remarks at them.... He's mortified to learn he was duped into calling his dear old father.
Malicious Misnaming: He called Marckus "Marcky-D" and talks down to him like a child, refers to Harry as "Hairyleg", and constantly compares Grimal to sea creatures. Averts it with Elise, but she still doesn't like him. Marckus rather insistently calls him "Broke Slackjaw" at every opportunity in return though.
Mighty Glacier: When compared to his father. Big D, with whom Remold can evenly trade hits, was able to sidestep Brok's punch while holding Kitten under his arm. However, Brok can easily get up and keep going after taking hits Big D says would put Remold out of commission.
Never Gets Drunk: Harry claims he has a urinary tract made of steel and a liver made of lead. It's not even really an exaggeration, as he downs six pints of applejack and is still sober enough to beat Marckus up some more. Until the salmonella kicks in.
Nothing Is Funnier: We don't actually know exactly what he ranted into the phone at his father after the first few seconds, as it was covered up by a Cluster Bleep-Bomb; for all we know the voice actor could have been reciting their last shopping list or a takeout receipt.
Oh, Crap!: Twice.
- The first time was when Marckus tricks him into spouting crass and sexist profanity at his own father, Remold, who scolds him for his foul mouth and essentially grounds him. He is reduced to stammering in shock the entire time.
- The second time is when Guy Chapman arrives and asks him if he has a license to use the bowie knife he intended to stab Marckus with. Not wanting to mess with a police officer, he tells Spit and Git to scram and flees along with them.
Pet the Dog: In a sense; he verbally harasses and physically attacks Marckus, Grimal, and Harry, but the only time he directly interacts with Elise is with a cordial and reserved greeting. She still despises him because, well, he's a dick.
Brok: Oh and, g'devenin', Lise.
Elise: No.
Politically Incorrect Villain: Whatever the hell he ranted into (what he thought was) Marckus' fianceé's phone was so crass and sexist the show censored it and even his own dad grounded him on the spot.
The Power of Hate: When he finds out that Marckus tricked him during the drinking competition, he instantly sobers up through pure rage alone despite being on the verge of passing out just moments before.
Propeller Hat of Whimsy: A family photo seen in the background shows a younger Brok wearing a beanie with a propeller, but otherwise looking no different from his current self.
Psycho Knife Nut: He carries no less than three knives; two switchblades and a bowie knife, for some Rule of Three comedy. He's also a brutish bully whose favorite pastime in his youth was tormenting Marckus.
Psychopathic Manchild: He may have aged twenty years physically, but he's still the loud, crude, immature schoolyard bully that Marckus remembers him as.
Harry: Brok, how the hell have you never grown up, mate?
Brok: Watcha on about Hairyleg? I've grown plenty!
Harry: You're still the same ol' schoolyard tosser you were almost twenty years ago. Have you not got better things to do?
Grimal: It's honestly embarrassing, pal. You try getting into manga?
Punch! Punch! Punch! Uh Oh...: Downplayed in Episode 4, when Big D sends him flying back with a blow to the head and later makes him stagger with a gut punch... except neither is enough to take him down. Big D notes Brok has potential, as even his father cannot take these punches.
Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Implied to be why he bullied Marckus then and now. Since he comes from a rich family (with his father being one of the leaders of the Arcanum's Norfolk branch), he thinks he has the right of way to torment whoever he wanted. He also walks the pub Marckus and his buddies are hanging out as if he owns the place, treats the bartender like a servant, and brings his own chair (which is also the Blacklaw family heirloom) because he couldn't be bothered to use the pub's "round" chairs.
Schoolyard Bully All Grown Up: Marckus and his buddies are disgusted to find that despite having grown up physically, mentally he's still the same loud, crude, and immature bully who tormented Marckus back when they were kids twenty years ago.
Sinister Switchblade: He carries two of them, which he calls "his lucky switchblade" and "his mum's lucky switchblade", he pulls both of them on Marckus only for their delicate mechanisms to break before he can even try stabbing. So he pulls out his backup Bowie knife.
Staircase Tumble: At one point he pushed Marckus down the stairs at school, which severely injured the latter; Brok treats it like a fond memory of a terrible accident.
Toxic Friend Influence: It's implied that he's this to Git and Spit, as Spit shows genuine interest in Marckus' N-Gage and Git is perfectly cordial, if exhausted, while at work. It's only when they're with Brok that their worse aspects start to show.
Unskilled, but Strong: When he fights Big D in episode 4 it's apparent he lacks any technique and is much slower, but he has enough of pure strength and toughness to keep up.
Big D: You have potential, boy! Why WASTE IT!?
Unstoppable Rage:
- In his debut audiolog after Marckus makes a mistake of bragging how he tricked him to get super drunk, Brok, who was on the verge of passing out, sobers up from sheer fury.
- In Episode 4, when Big D treats him a devastating uppercut to the jaw and a gut punch combo, Brok gets slightly red in the face before headbutting him, implying he stayed in a fight by getting really pissed off.
Weaksauce Weakness: His precious folding chair is evidently very important to him, and is supposedly a "priceless family heirloom". Marckus is able to briefly use it as a bargaining chip in a way that reduces Brok from foaming at the mouth with fury to just sputtering and fumbling not to seem too weak.

Git 'n Spit

Giles "Git" Oakling 'n Simon "Spit" Spires

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2024_03_09_230310.png

Spit on the left, Git on the right

Voiced by: HulkyKrow (Git/Giles) & Glowtide (Spit/Simon)

A pair of idiotic hooligans that follow Brok around; at first glance they're just as crude and unsavory, but also (almost) absolutely spineless. They're later shown to be civilian staff in the Arcanum, working as security guards under Brok.

Acrofatic: Despite being rounder of the duo, Giles is fast enough to match Kitten in a fight.
Alliterative Name: Simon "Spit" Spires.
Beyond the Impossible: Git steals Harry's beer and drinks it down... then he reverse-drinks it only to do it again... and then he reverse-drinks it again only to drink a third time, much to everyone else's disgust. No one is entirely sure how he managed to do that.
Marckus: That's repulsive.
Butt-Monkey: Poor Simon gets the worst of it out of the pair. In his first appearance he gets his tailbone broken by Grimal's yaoi paddle, and his howls of agony are given the Fun with Subtitles treatment. Then, in The Feuds of our Fathers, he gets ganged up on and kicked repeatedly by Door, Boy and Elise, having been defeated in the opening brawl with barely a fight. He also spends the second story arc suffering from severe Ritalin withdrawal symptoms, making him especially miserable.
Drink-Based Characterization: They ask for White Lightning and Tesco's Value wine, both drinks notorious for being cheap, neuron-cooking swill barely fit for human consumption, immediately pinning them both as particularly dumb chavs. It also serves as a potential hint towards Git's stress with his Soul-Sucking Retail Job at the 99p store.
Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: Not truly evil, but these unlikable and poor-mannered jerks find Brok's teasing of Marckus and his friends absolutely hilarious.
Spit: finds this banter wicked funny
Git: finds this banter bloody hilarious
Expy: Send-ups of the kind of lesser Ork Boyz and Gretchin usually seen in Ork hordes.
Fat and Skinny: Giles's more portly physique stands as a visible contrast with the skinnier Simon's; his security vest is a noticeably tighter fit than the latter's.
Football Hooligans: While they never discuss football directly like Brok, they too also invoke that poor-mannered Cockney-accented, Lower-Class Lout niche that inspired the Orkz.
Given Name Reveal: "The Blender Crusade: In Spiteful Defiance of Corporate Villainy" reveals that Git's real name is Giles.
- Chapter 4 does this for Giles' last name and the entire name for Spit, revealing them to be named "Giles Oakling" and "Simon Spires" respectively.
Hidden Depths:
- In "Marckus Goes Pubbing," Spit recognizes Marckus's brand of phone as a Nokia N-Gage (a gaming phone from the early 2000s) by just a glance. He sounds genuinely interested, too, like he'd have been willing to engage Marckus about it had Brok not been ordering him around. This briefly carries over into Chapter 4 when, much to Marckus' confusion, he tries being friendly with him, Grimal, and Kitten... before suffering from a panic attack and running away.
- Git's appearance in "The Blender Crusade: In Spiteful Defiance of Corporate Villainy" reveals him to be pretty friendly and casual on a good day, as well as being genuinely starved for recognition and positive feedback, both from his bosses and, it's implied, from Brok.
- Spit apparently takes Ritalin (a medication for those with ADD or ADHD), and without it he's shown to be incredibly stressed, panicky, and erratic.
Locked Out of the Loop: It's implied that Git and Spit weren't aware of the existence of vampires until the ghoul hunt in Episode 4.
Nervous Wreck: Spit is suffering from Ritalin withdrawal during Chapter 4, leaving him extra-erratic and high-strung. The highly stressful Closed Circle does nothing to improve his day, and he ends the chapter curled up in a Troubled Fetal Position and sobbing incoherently while covered in the blood and gore of the horrifically murdered Fatigue.
Only Sane Man: Git, of all people, plays this to Big-D when the latter accosts him during his quest to buy a blender for 99p.
Big-D: SIR! Have you heard the adage "The customer is always right"?
Giles: ...I 'ave.
Big-D: Okay! Hah! Great!
Beat
Giles: ...If yer waitin' fer me to tell ya we sell 99p blenders—
Big-D: YEEES???
Giles: ...We don't.
- Spit is also a little taken aback when Brok keeps (literally) pulling "Marcky's" leg (which is sprained and gun shot) after being contradicted that Brok won't hurt Marckus too bad. He also really stresses that Brok isn't making a good decision getting stoned cold drunk before going back to his very angry father.
- Git being one of the few people with sanity continues in Chapter 4, where he just dryly comments on the fact that half of the group are fighting each other almost immediately after The Cold Tessellation is dropped down the stairs.
  Weren't we supposed ta prepare to fight dis, uh... 'Ghoul' fella?
Lawman Baton: Being a part of the Arcanum's security staff, Git is seen using a wooden club when duelling against Kitten in the Cold Opening of Chapter 4.
Pain to the Ass: Spit gets his tailbone broken by Grimal's yaoi paddle.
Spit: [unknowable suffering], [big pain], [sounds of ow], [discomfort with this bodily state], [the great struggle], [lamentations of pain].
Paper Tiger: They're basically non-threatening by themselves, having attached themselves to Brok to act as his backup. Although this is downplayed as Git is capable of lifting up Grimal upside-down by the leg, strangling Harry, and even duelling Kitten to a standstill in Chapter 4 with nothing but a simple baton against his not-Guardian Spear.
Pet the Dog: Downplayed. When Big-D comes up one pence short for the blender, Giles spots him partly as thanks for D's earlier kindness, but mostly to get him out of the goddamn store.
Punch-Clock Villain: Inverted for Git, whose meaner traits are for the most part absent when he's on the clock. It's when he punches out and goes pubbing with Brok and Spit that he becomes the mean lout he was introduced as.
Soul-Sucking Retail Job: Git works one of these when he's not busy henching for Brok. Unfortunately for him, the only time we see him doing it, he ends up having to serve Big-D.
Stout Strength: Git is fat, but also capable of lifting Grimal by her leg and restraining Harry, who is very buff.
Those Two Guys: Relatively flat characters, very little characterization, and their names rhyme for bonus points. Git gets a bit more in "The Blender Crusade: In Spiteful Defiance of Corporate Villainy" and Spit shows signs of being a secret tech nerd when he recognizes Marckus' phone as an N-Gage, so time will tell if their Flat Character status will stick.
Troubled Fetal Position: Spit is reduced to this after seemingly witnessing Lord Fatigue be eviscerated, covered in the blood and gore of the old man and whimpering.
Villains Out Shopping: Not exactly a villain, and pretty much the reverse of shopping, but Git shows up in "The Blender Crusade: In Spiteful Defiance of Corporate Villainy" as a retail worker at the 99p store.

Harry Jacket

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2024_03_09_223644.png

Voiced by: Longfang

One of Marckus's friends and a member of the Arcanum. His speciality is "highland lore".

Be Careful What You Wish For: Tells Marckus that he hopes Fatigue isn’t the ghoul. He would later be proven correct, but only when seeing the poor old man killed and mutilated.
Gentle Giant: He's huge and tough, but incredibly sensitive. He notes when asked how he hasn't read Dragon Ball Z that he had to drop the series after Krillin died (which was back in Dragon Ball), and is devastated when Marckus informs him that Krillin comes Back from the Dead, only to die... again and again.
Lovable Jock: He spends a lot of time at the gym, but he's also the most worried about Marckus' condition out of all his friends.
Nice Guy: Sure, all three are good friends with Marckus, but Grimal has the tendecy to bite people, and Elise is... well, Elise.
Harry: So, am I the only one who DOESN'T want to bury Marckus?
Marckus: Yes.
Elise: Bury him in a shallow grave...
Grimal: Bury him in SLUTSHOLE!
Only Sane Man: He's the only "normal" member of his group of friends, being a guy with only casual interest in various media like Dragon Ball — compared to Marckus, a devoted gamer who is also a Hunter; Grimal, an energetic Japanese "weeaboo"; and Elise, a enigmatic Goth girl with spooky tastes. He's also the group's voice of reason.
Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Slides in and out of a soft Northern/Slightly Scottish accent, with the occasional "isnae" or "cannae". The captions remain perfectly legible though.
Pacifism Backfire: Even when Marckus is in trouble, he doesn't use his strength to stop Brok because he "only uses it for lifting things". When he actually decides enough is enough, he's clobbered by Brok and restrained by Git & Spit.
Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: He's both at the same time.
Signature Headgear: Wears a gray pageboy hat, which is much simpler than Grimal's more outlandish pink hat. This marks him as the Only Sane Man of Marckus' friends.
Share the Male Pain: He winces when Marckus recounts to him that "1 COCK punch" was among the many injuries inflicted upon him by the Sabbat Vampires.

Grimaline "Grimal-Kun-Chama" Smith

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/grimal_by_eliphusz.png

Voiced by: Odoroshi

An energetic girl who's one of Marckus's friends, Kitten's ex-girlfriend. A neophyte of the Arcanum who specializes in oriental lore.

Affectionate Nickname: Her real first name is Grimaline, but all her friends call her "Grimal".
Amicable Exes: At first (when the topic was brought up in an audiolog) it seemed this way; they seem to acknowledge they simply didn't mesh together after exposure to some of her stranger anime-related habits. When she and Kitten meet face to face in Chapter 4, however, this turns out to not be the case, as the differences between the two lead to a heated argument.
Animal Motifs: Colorful ocean invertebrates. Her hat and hair resemble a jellyfish, and Brok Blacklaw repeatedly insults Grimal by likening her appearance to "deep sea critters" like sea cucumbers and sea slugs.
Batter Up!: Her Yaoi Paddle is more than just a cringeworthy tool from an era best forgotten by many anime fans. It also makes for a wonderful bludgeoning weapon that she can easily shatter bones with. Git is horrified to find out its end is sharp.
Blood Knight: She's sincerely disappointed no one has tried to "jump" her in a while, almost envying Marckus for nearly getting killed by angry vampires. The Cold Opening brawl in Chapter 4 has her eagerly jump into the fray without much reason.
Brick Joke: In the Audiolog introducing her she laments that she has to crawl in the ventilation ducts to listen in on closed door meetings by the senior Arcanum members. In a Chapter 4 interstitial she's seen in the security room where she doesn't have official access, previously described as a well-ventilated room. No prizes for guessing how she got in...
Cassandra Truth: She's mocked by Marckus for her belief in the kuei-jin, a species of east-asian undead often confused for vampires. Even Big-D doesn't believe in them, according to Marckus, writing them off as "a bunch of LARPers based in LA". It doesn't help that Grimal's research on them is heavily skewed by her Japanophilia.
Cloudcuckoolander: The most over-the-top and wacky of the four, not to mention her encyclopedic knowledge of all things Japanese and her Insane Troll Logic justifying the existence of the Kuei-Jin (they do exist, just not for the reasons she claims).
Deranged Animation: Some of her expressions are comparable to the faces Big-D makes, and for one brief moment mimics the art style of Fist of the North Star.
Dramatically Missing the Point: She argues that Kitten should be happy he got kicked out of the Arcanum because now he doesn't have to worry about them breathing down his neck while doing his research, to which he points out without the Arcanum's funding he can't do research in the first place.
Expy: Downplayed - per an official tweet, the fact that she's an ex-lover to Kitten was inspired by Kitten and Shadowsun's relationship back in If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device - and while she has a few things that further tie her to Shadowsun, like the fact that she's a massive otaku^note, and has a sea-creature motif (in that her hat and hair make her resemble a jellyfish)^note, she is not intended to be a direct 1-1 stand-in for Shadowsun in this series.
Genki Girl: Grimal is very energetic in her mannerisms.
Grass is Greener: Gets into an argument with Kitten because she feels he should be happy about being kicked out of Arcanum, as he can now conduct research without likes of Remold breathing down his neck. Kitten angrily tells her he no longer has Arcanum funding to conduct any research.
Gratuitous Japanese: She belts out some Japanese words on occasion, being a big anime fan and all. She even calls Vegeta and Android 18 by their Japanese pronunciations/names, "Vejīta" and "Jū Hachi Gō".
Hidden Depths: Implied. A creator-approved comment under episode 4 theorises her behavior, especially more over the top parts like blasting Fist of the North Star music to sleep may be her way to cope with past trauma and her relationship with Kitten may have fallen apart because she was pushing her coping mechanism on him in a misguided one-cure-fits-all attempt to help.
Insistent Terminology:
- She doesn't carry a sex paddle. It's a Yaoi paddle, thank you, and she'll gleefully use it on you if you suggest otherwise.
- She always insists on referring to Anime and Manga terms and characters by their original Japanese names, not whatever names they might have in English. Doing otherwise is actually hinted to be a Berserk Button for her - she glowers slightly when Marckus explains who "Vejīta" and "Jū Hachi Gō" are to a confused Harry^noteVegeta and Android 18, respectively and when Kitten complains about her Fist of the North Star music her only reaction is to snarl the words "Hokuto. No. Ken.". Interesingly, she doesn't correct Marckus when he reffers to that anime's opening - Ai wo Torimodose - as You Wa Shock.
Mad Scientist: She's not without ethics, but Grimal hates how constraining the Arcanum is when it comes to researching the supernatural. Episode 4 reveals she's jealous of the family's ability to conduct their research without any oversight. Marckus seems more empathetic about her plight than Kitten, who would take the oversight in exchange for funding to actually conduct the research.
Man Bites Man: Her go-to "attack" is biting people. Frequently after shouting “Biting you!" She spends most of the scuffle with Brok and his goons furiously chewing on anyone trying to wrestle her.
Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Deconstructed. It seems this is why her relationship with Kitten went down badly - Grimal seems to be trying to make him less miserable with attempts at injecting levity into the situation through her eccentricities, and think he should be happy to be free of Arcanum's constraints. Kitten is clearly sick of this and considers her both oblivious to what he actually needed and insufferable in her obsessions.
The Masquerade Will Kill Your Dating Life: Admits that the main reason she and Kitten hooked up was because she was the first girl he met that already knew about vampires. She concludes that "beggars can't be choosers," with a loud and deeply insecure laugh.
The Missus and the Ex: Despite being his fiance's ex, Marckus is good friends with Grimal, and they're on friendly enough terms to casually allude to their respective sex lives.
Marckus: He is traumatized; you left me a broken boy that I have to fix.
Grimal: It's not the only thing I broke, let me tell you.
Marckus: Please, we're getting too private! Also, I broke it too.
Noodle Incident: She and Kitten meet on a Suffolk anime convention, which directly lead to both getting themselves blacklisted from it. They see it as a good thing, as they now have one less reason to ever go to Suffolk.
Nonstandard Character Design: Her design and facial features are a lot more animesque than the more grounded and faded aesthetic of the other cast members, and her expressions somehow MORE cartoonish.
Occidental Otaku: Fits the 2000s-era stereotype of the obsessive, pastel-colored champion of all things Japan, spouting Gratuitous Japanese at the slightest provocation and even slinging around a yaoi paddle. Marckus points out that Grimal's more extreme mannerisms — like going to sleep every night playing Ai wo Torimodose on full blast for hours — left Kitten "traumatized".
Marckus: Hey, YOU'RE the harebrained British simulacrum of Japanese culture, not me.
Grimal: LOW BLOW, I WILL SMACK YOU WITH THE PADDLE AGAIN!
Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Despite being light enough for one of Brok's lackeys to hold up by the leg, she carries Marckus out of the pub at the end of the audiolog. Marckus, who's easily over 6 feet tall and 200lbs (and who (claims) to squat 260lbs.). She even manages to break another lackey's tailbone with her Yaoi paddle.
Playful Cat Smile: To heighten her "weeaboo" nature, she pops these out on occasion when being mischievous.
Plucky Comic Relief: Definitely the silliest of Marckus' drinking buddies.
Politically Incorrect Hero: Sure, she's definitely not trying to be, but on her heavily personalized ID she refers to herself as a Scholar of the Orient—typically considered a rude and outdated way to refer to East Asia. Though the fact she later scratched it out and wrote kanji insulting Remold has some implications...
Signature Headgear: She wears a pink beret with animal ears and eye stalks, which is outlandish compared to Harry's simple pageboy hat. This marks her as the more energetic and weird of the group.
Stealth Pun: A grimalkin is an archaic term for cat. She's an anime catgirl.
Yaoi Fangirl: If the Yaoi Paddle is anything to go by. She also flashes some dirty grins whenever Marckus alludes to his sex life with Kitten. She even refers to Kitten as an "Uke Boy" in Chapter 4.

Elise Culpepper

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/elise_by_eliphusz.png

Voiced by: Stephanie Swan Quills

A rather portly goth girl who is one of Marckus's friends alongside Harry and Grimal. A neophyte of the Arcanum who specializes in fey lore.

Big Beautiful Woman:
- It's difficult to tell in her speech mugshot during "Marckus goes Pubbing," but concept art reveals that Elise is quite hefty. However, her figure-flattering wardrobe and exposed belly in her casual wear imply she's very confident in her appearance.
- Chapter 4 shows that she is quite full-figured, almost as tall as Marckus and looks quite stunning in her gothic black dress.
Blood Knight: When seeing Big-D and the Arcanum security fight, she happily says "Violence" and is more than willing to join on kicking poor Spit while he's down.
Cold Ham: Her stoic tone of voice doesn't mean she's any less goofy than Marckus and Grimal, joining in on the "Goblin" chant when Grimal busts out a record she picked up. The rest of the time, she keeps using grandiose and generally hammed-up terminology while keeping her voice flat and low.
The Clan: According to her, she has family in every one of Norfolk's more unfortunately-named towns.
Creepy Good: She's a very good friend of Marckus, but he will readily admit he fears for his life every time he talks to her; she takes it as a compliment.
The Dreaded: According to Marckus, he fears for his life whenever she's around. It's said in a half-joking manner, but her Running Gag of predicting Marckus's death is still comically unnerving. It should be noted that even Brock never directly targets her and tries to be cordial to her.
Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: She has pale skin and black hair, and she's a Goth with rather morbid tastes and humor; Marckus admits he fears for his life every time he talks to her. But she's still a fellow nerd and good friend of Marckus, if one of the creepiest.
Eyes Out of Sight: The only time you see her eye is when she's concerned or playing up her introduction.
Goth: Elise sports a goth aesthetic.
Elise: The shadows and I are one (sips iced coffee).
Hidden Depths: Sort of. She bemoans not being able to find a fairy during her research, but considering how they are in the World of Darkness, that might've played into the goth side of her.
Kick Chick: Kicks Git multiple times in the back when he strangles Harry. It doesn't stop him from choking Harry some more, but it is still painful.
Elise: Get your malformed fingers off his throat!(kicking Git in the back)(angrily attacks in goth)
- For good measure, she even joins Door and Boy in kicking Spit while he's curled on the floor during the opening brawl.
Slasher Smile:
- When Marckus reveals to Brok he cheated on their drinking game, she sports a toothy grimace as Harry is holding back a smile and Grimal bursts out in laughter.
- Also sports this when she shows her ID as Kitten does a roll call in the conference room. It's probably her normal smile.
Stealth Hi/Bye: Despite her size, she's quite stealthy. She's introduced by simply making her presence known, startling her friends.
The Stoic: The least emotional of the four, though she does have her moments where she loses her calm, like when Brok sucker-punches Harry.

Lord Wernon Fatigue

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/fatigue_only.jpg

"Like scrubbing a bathroom floor, you do it one tile at a time."

Voiced by: Earndil

One of the senior members of the Arcanum, specialises in lycanthrope lore.

The Heart: Implied. His generally sweet demeanor makes it easy for everyone to like him, a portrait in the Chapter House's bar suggests he's been a foundational member for a long time, Marckus and Harry even comment that they sincerely hope that he isn't the ghoul, and his death leaves everyone horrified and furious.
Loved by All: He’s the only member of the Arcanum, former or otherwise, who is respected by everyone. Marckus even mentions going to him when he wanted to vent about his father. This makes his grisly death all the more tragic.
Ludicrous Gibs: He is ripped apart, his severed head, limbs and entrails thrown all over the place, his mutilated body cleaved in two, with pools of gore and blood covering the entire room and even poor Spit.
Miniature Senior Citizens: Significantly shorter than anyone else in the Acarnum. A portrait in the taproom shows that he had a Heroic Build when he was younger.
Nice Guy: He's polite, kindly, and genuinely wants to help the obviously-distressed Spit. It only serves to make his gruesome death more tragic and horrifying; of everyone in the building, nobody deserved a violent death less than Fatigue.
Pretentious Pronunciation: His surname is pronounced "fa-te-gew."
Punny Name: The man is worn an' fatigue(d)
Sacrificial Lamb: This gentle, sweet, and harmless old man is found gruesomely murdered at the end of Episode 4, establishing the seriousness of the threat at hand.
Talking the Monster to Death: He's very kind and empathetic to Spit, charming him almost immediately, though Fatigue's choice of words implies that he's also attempting to discern whether or not Spit is the ghoul spy suffering from vitae withdrawal.

Doctor Gloria Waters

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/waters_only.jpg

Voiced by: Flickerlad

One of the senior members of the Arcanum, specialises in Psychotronics studies.

Crazy-Prepared: When Occam asks if she has tools to safely extract blood from everyone in the Chapter House, she gets fussy about the notion that she just carries scalpels everywhere… before sheepishly admitting that she's got two for everyone.
Functional Addict: She's actually a cocaine user, as Matilda alludes to when complaining about the higher ups. You can even see powder around her nostrils after she checks up on Occam. Still, her drug use doesn't seem to impede her.
Number Two: Given that she rather quickly affirms that she is in charge after Occam is put out of commission, it's safe to assume she's the next highest ranking official in the Arcanum.
The Medic: Analyzes Occam's injuries, and seems to have medical tools everywhere she goes.

Matilda Wilde

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2024_03_09_224410_2.png

Voiced by: Snipe

One of the two maids who works for The Arcanum. A grouchy cynic who got roped into the supernatural during the hunt for the ghoul.

The Cynic: Is very upset with her lot in life, and doesn't understand why Kitten and the rest of Big-D's entourage would even bother caring about the Arcanum
Locked Out of the Loop: She didn't know about the existence of vampire until the ghoul hunt in Episode 4. Doesn't really care much though, until Fatigue is killed.
Jaded Professional: She's openly bitter about her position and has no respect for her superiors and their constant bickering.
Not So Stoic: She's jaded, cynical, and has no respect for her superiors. Her reaction when finding Lord Fatigue's remains is one of open-mouthed horror.
Skewed Priorities: Is more concerned about being on lockdown, and thus unpaid overtime, instead of the presence of a violent vampire blood-slave going around threatening everyone. She's more worried over being fired than dead.

Amanda Bergamot

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screenshot_2024_03_09_224410.png

Voiced by: Ironirocal

One of the two maids who works for The Arcanum. a shy optimist who got roped into the supernatural during the hunt for the ghoul.

Electric Torture: Is subjected to an inhumane Lie Detector test by the Blacklaws during The Feuds of our Fathers, leaving her comatose on the floor and babbling incoherently. Remold Blacklaw insists that her poor state is evidence that she was lying.
Locked Out of the Loop: She didn't learn about vampires existing until the ghoul hunt in Episode 4.

Enemies

The Licks

A gang of fledgeling Kindred; Apeboy the Gangrel, Shitbeard the Brujah, Kevin the Tremere, and Pyotr the Nosferatu. They’re responsible for a string of missing-persons cases in Norfolk.

The Licks as a whole

Feral Vampires: Being Sabbat vampires they tend more towards this than their opposites in the Camarilla, who have a veneer of civility and sensuality most times to maintain the Masquerade. The Licks are encountered hiding in a network of caves out in the woods, and sustained themselves by abducting passers-by in the dead of night.
Gonk: They’re all pretty ugly, and while it's expected from Pyotr the Nosferatu and to a lesser extent Ape the Gangrel, Shitbeard and Kevin don't fare much better, despite being from clans that don't inflict mutations on their membership.
A Nazi by Any Other Name: As Sabbat vampires, they're fascists who seek the open supremacy of vampires over all other creatures, seeing humans as little more than livestock and playing to a mythologized past greatness of Kindredkind—or at least, Pyotr and Ape are. Shitbeard is clearly conflicted about his unlife, and Kevin doesn't believe in the Sabbat's cause at all.
Not-So-Harmless Villain: Even though they’re very young vampires that reek of incompetence, they still give the equally-novice Family a hell of a beating. Even Big D, the group's highly experienced mentor, finds himself taken out of the fight on two occasions — he later uses this as a teaching experience, warning Kitten that even the lowliest of foes can still be deadly if you aren't careful.
Small Name, Big Ego: All four of them are very proud and ambitious, but they're too young and uncoordinated to pose a major threat. Even though they give the heroes a vicious beating, they still fall prey to very basic tricks and tactics that say more about their own intelligence than that of the Hunters. Special mention goes to Apeboy and Pyotr, who appear to have completely bought in to the Sabbat's vampire supremacist rhetoric, while being the lowest of the low on the vampire totem pole and taken down relatively easily by inexperienced hunters (and Big D).
Starter Villain: The first threat faced by the Family in the story is a dysfunctional gang of young and inexperienced Feral Vampires, with more serious threats foreshadowed.
Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: It's pretty clear from the second episode and audio log that the Licks do not get along, and only barely tolerate each other. The moment they get a chance to turn on each other, they do so, and eventually only Kevin is alive.
Tragic Monster: Funnily enough, this is a theme with Kevin and Shitbeard of all people. Both of them had seemingly happy mortal lives before being embraced, and have had to find ways to cope with their newfound unlife. The series delves into the fact that, in their own ways, both of them (Kevin especially) are utterly miserable as vampires and would have seemingly preferred to stay mortal.
- The Chapter 3 eyecatch gives a brief summary on the backgrounds of the Licks and who the Sabbat are, establishing that most Sabbat packs are groups of random people conscripted into a war they barely understand, and put on a path that inevitably leads to insanity and death. While Pyotr at least worked for the Sabbat as a human beforehand, Ape and Shitbeard were abducted and turned against their will to serve as expendable minions.
With Friends Like These...: They act relatively chummy around each other and and are on friendly enough terms to recognize, and be irritated by, repeated behaviors. Despite this, the moment they get the chance, Ape, Shitbeard and Pyotr turn on each other. His comments about them in the audiologs makes it very clear that had Kevin been there his disdain for them would likely have won out over their Vaulderie.
Kevin: You know, they were all bastards. But I liked those bastards. Almost as much as I hated those bastards.
Wooden Stake: How they are all subdued, as stakes through the heart only paralyze vampires until removed in the Old World of Darkness setting.

Ape

Dave McGlow/"Ape Boy"

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ape_hunter_the_parenting.JPG

PROUD CAINITE! DOST THOU HEAR THE CALL!? PURGE YOUR DEGENERATE HUMANITY AND LIVE AS YOUR FOREFATHERS DIDTH!

Voiced by: Glowtide

A Gangrel with red sideburns. A shovelhead^note turned in 2005 and the youngest of the Licks, Ape is a tryhard who never passes up an opportunity to espouse vampire supremacy.

Absurdly Sharp Claws: As a Gangrel, he has these at the ready and uses them with little hesitation on Door and later on Shitbeard.
Animal Motif: If his Sabbat Name didn't tip you off, Apes. His Beast-induced facial contortions show he even has very chimp-like dental structure, and his bodily structure could be best described as a cross between a chimpanzee and a gorilla.
Bald of Evil: He is bald under his hat.
Big Eater: Deconstructed. If Kevin is to be believed, Ape has a habit of drinking a lot of blood. So much blood that he caused enough disappearances to attract the attention of Hunters like Big-D and his Family.
Card-Carrying Villain: More than the other Licks, Ape is a fanatical believer in the Sabbat's cause, to the point of infuriating his fellow vampires with his constant "LARPing".
Character Death: Apeboy is diablerized by Pyotr in Chapter 2, fuelling his escape from the Family's basement.
Closet Geek: He seems to hide it under his bluster, but he's capable of having discourse with Shitbeard about Noddism and how it relates to human philosophers. He also bellows "Vae Victus" before leaping into battle, implying he's a fan of the Legacy of Kain series.
Cruel and Unusual Death: It doesn't get much worse for Vampires than Diablerie but Pyotr ramps it up by impaling him through his chest with his bare hand, then beating his face to a bloody pulp and sucking all blood out of his body, throwing the dry husk away. Knowledge of the setting also would reveal that this means Pyotr ate his soul.
David vs. Goliath: He defeats Shitbeard, who is both much bigger and stronger and a higher generation than himself, in a straight fight, a notable achievement for any vampire.
Dumb Muscle: He's far and away the most physically powerful of the Licks, but Ape isn't the cleverest vampire to ever live. His lack of forward planning leads to him being the first Lick taken out of the fight with the Hunters and his fight with Shitbeard is won through sheer athleticism rather than Pyotr's trickery and opportunism. He is capable of engaging Shitbeard in Noddist philosophy discourse however.
Fedora of Asskicking: Wears a black fedora that stays on even during fights. It's finally dislodged when Pyotr kills him. Said fedora is less an indicator of smoothness or badassery and more a clear sign of him being an edgy LARPer, but even an edgy LARPer can be dangerous when he's a vampire.
Feral Vampires: Even more than the others, due to being a Gangrel on top of everything else.
The Friend Nobody Likes: Shitbeard and Pyotr are frustrated by his fanaticism and multiple times tell him to shut up. Pyotr claims to kinda like him but in the end, it's not enough to let him live.
Horrible Judge of Character: When the Licks are forced to fight each other, he genuinely believes Pyotr will help him take Shitbeard down. Instead, the Nosferatu turned invisible and let the two tire each other out before finishing them off.
Hot Blooded Sideburns: He sports a pair of red sideburns and is the most Hot-Blooded of the Licks. He's so passionate and fanatical about the Sabbat's cause that he's willing to espouse his beliefs at almost every opportunity, annoying the hell out of his packmates.
Large Ham: Shows signs of this with his pontification in Chapter 2.
New Meat: According to Pyotr, he is barely in the Sabbat and hasn't even undergone Vaulderie, an initiation ritual that breaks Vampire's previous bonds and binds them with others in Sabbat. Chapter 3's intermission establishes that Ape was embraced in 2005, only a year before the time of the series.
No True Scotsman: He might hate the Camarilla, but he hates the Anarchs due to percieving them as cowards who want a revolution without changing the status quo of the Masquerade. Given Shitbeard's exasperated reaction to him going on his tear, he's done it a lot.
Pyrrhic Victory: He manages to accomplish quite a feat by defeating Shitbeard, a stronger, larger and a whole generation more powerful Vampire, in a straight hand-to-hand fight. However, it leaves him tired and weakened, unable to defend against a well-timed strike from Pyotr.
Religious Bruiser: Constantly sermonizes (albeit clumsily) about Cain and the beliefs of the Sabbat, which the other Licks only pay lip service to at best. Pyotr believes he is aiming to become a pack priest.
Small Name, Big Ego: All of the Licks have this problem, but even among them, Apeboy is thinking of himself too highly. Pyotr has to outright call him out on the fact he is acting like trying to get a position of pack priest when he hasn't even been fully initiated into the Sabbat. Given his pouting about how he's the "strongest", it's likely he's still riding the high of his Embrace a year later.
Strange-Syntax Speaker: He has an odd halting mode of speech that causes him to sound like he's constantly stopping and starting sentences to think of what to say next. Considering his facial contortions in the second episode this is likely because he's not even trying to restrain his Beast.
Unwitting Instigator of Doom: If he hadn't caused enough hiker disappearances with his zealous feeding to draw attention from Hunters, he and his pack likely wouldn't have gotten involved in the series' story.
Vampiric Draining: Uses it on Door in Episode 1 and in Episode 2 he's on receiving end of it from Pyotr, with lethal results.
Villains Want Mercy: Begs Pyotr to spare him, but to no effect.
Wrestler in All of Us: Defeats Shitbeard with an impaler DDT.
Yank the Dog's Chain: After impaling him, Pyotr kindly assures him he was just putting a show and wouldn't betray him, playfully bumping him in the face even. The Nosferatu then follows it by delivering a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown on a defenseless Apeboy.

Kevin (Unmarked spoilers for Audiolog 2!)

Kevin Malcolm Wettsworth/"Herbertus"

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/kevin_hunter_the_parenting.JPG

YOU MORTAL FOOLS DARE INVADE THE LAIR OF MIGHTY KEVIN?!

Voiced by: Earndil

The Great and Mighty Kevin, a Tremere who dresses up as a wizard. His character and history are explored in the second audio drama, where we learn that there's much more to him than "crazed wizard."

Abnormal Limb Rotation Range: At times, it appears his arms have two elbows each.
Affably Evil: When he lets his Ax-Crazy facade drop, Kevin turns out to be an introspective, sensitive person who loves cats and has a strong distaste to falling into the same Gaslighting his Clan is known to do. He's still a brutal murderer, but he clearly doesn't agree with his pack's sadistic impulses at all, especially when it's greatly dangerous to his and their existence.
Ambiguously Gay: In second audiolog makes multiple remarks that seem to indicate he finds Big D attractive, like pointing out how well Big D's shorts emphasize his ass while mocking him as a "sexy foolman".
Action Survivor: Despite being a human accountant who was turned against his will, then later betrayed both his Clan and the Camarilla, he managed to survive well into the present day. If Kevin is to be believed, his sire and former masters have tried to have him killed many times — both for his treachery and to keep him from spilling out valuable secrets that Hunters would use against them. It didn't take as Kevin managed to outwit his assassins. Big-D is genuinely impressed that he survived for that long, given Clan Tremere despised traitors and kept everyone in the clan on a tight leash.
Angrish: In Chapter 4, he's watching TV in his containment when he sees an advertisement... featuring him and plushies made based on his likeness. He immediately loses his shit, exclaming "What has she done" in reference to either his sire or the Regent. He arms himself with his "powerful wizard gun" and declares he wants whoever made the plushies dead; in his frenzy, he causes his bullets to ricochet back into him, but he's too outraged by the ad to care!
Asskicking Leads to Leadership: Averted. Despite knowing the Dominate Discipline and being a 9th generation vampire, he's under Pyotr's leadership (a mere 12th generation) due to the Nosferatu being the oldest.
Atrocious Alias: He was given a new name by his masters — Herbertus — upon being inducted into Clan Tremere, to encourage him to leave behind his human life. Predictably, Kevin hates it, referring to it as his "shitty Camarilla roleplay name". He also was given a demeaning nickname by the Licks (similar to Shitbeard and Ape Boy) before he gained enough respect to go by Kevin, though we don't learn what it was.
Ax-Crazy: Loud, arrogant, erratic, and the most dangerous of the Licks thanks to his powerful Domination. Though much of his erratic behavior and arrogance is an elaborate front to vent most of the frustrations in his unlife, he still has his moments even outside of fights.
Be Careful What You Wish For: According to him, he was once an average young man who dreamed of moving up in the world and becoming hugely successful. His dreams come true in the worst way possible: First he "died" via being Embraced against his will, then endured what is implied to be years of gaslighting and other horrific abuses at the hands of his masters. He undertook the pack-bonding ritual with three other Vampires who would become the Licks just to escape his servitude, but despite his pack-mates being equally shitty people, he puts up with them because they're his best chance for freedom.
Being Evil Sucks: One of the first things Kevin admits to Big-D is that being a vampire is shit. He hates his unlife, he hates his packmates, he hates his clan, and he hates himself thanks to the Gaslighting all Tremeres endure.
Beware the Silly Ones: As Big-D points out to Kitten in first audiolog, even a Vampire as silly as Kevin can overpower an experienced hunter like Big-D himself, if the latter drops his guard down.
Boss in Mook's Clothing: He's the second-youngest of his pack, and thus lower in rank than Pyotr, but his generation is the lowest, at nine. The lower a vampire's generation, the more powerful it is, and Kevin in game terms is the most powerful vampire you can create in 20th Anniversary.
Card-Carrying Villain: Straight up calls himself an evil vampire, at least until Big-D convinces him to switch sides.
Death Seeker: During interrogation by Big-D it becomes rapidly apparent that Kevin would like nothing more than to just be free of his vampiric circumstances and live his life normally, but has long since lost hope of it ever happening. It makes the idea of a final death an appealing and sweet release.
[Big-D strikes Kevin with his pan so hard his neck snaps]
Big-D: You are indeed a worthy foe, Mighty Kevin...
Kevin: [Neck snaps back in place] You're lucky I'm dead, or that might have killed me!
Big-D: Good.
Kevin: Agreed.
Despair Event Horizon: Underneath the grandstanding, the wizardly nonsense, and the seemingly religious fervor for the Sabbat, Kevin is a miserable young man with no hope for his future, and can only pray that his next life treats him more kindly. He doesn't believe that his story can have a happy ending, and feels that his only choice for freedom is to embrace the Beast.
Didn't See That Coming: Kevin is disappointed, but not surprised, to hear Big-D turn down his offer to join his crusade. He is absolutely flabbergasted, however, when Big-D asks him to join his.
Embarrassing Last Name: His last name was "Wettsworth", which he is absolutely ashamed of. His response to Big-D discovering this and saying it out is subtitled as "[scream of incomprehensible shame]".
Everyone Has Standards: Due to his own traumatic experiences with Clan Tremere's bloodbond, he is horrified when he learns that Chapman willingly became a Ghoul, especially when he learns Chapman has a family. Kevin is even more disgusted when Chapman wants to be blood bonded, to him.
Kevin: FUCK!! I have LINES I DO NOT CROSS, that I drew WITH MY OWN FREE WILL, YOU FUCKING RIVER TROLL!!!
- On a more humorous note, he sounds noticeably disturbed when recalling the Regent’s obsession with Boudica’s privates.
Establishing Character Moment: In Episode 1, he calls out his fellow Licks for their overfeeding, which attracted hunters like the Family to their lair. This not only establishes him as the smartest of his group, but also serves as Foreshadowing for his past, particularly his experience in accounting.
Even Evil Has Loved Ones: In the second audio log, Big-D discovers that Kevin owns a beloved pet cat named Mr. Smerples, something Pyotor ridiculed him for. Kevin's outraged at first, assuming he's going to be mocked again, but Big-D is actually intrigued; this is one of the first signs that Kevin hasn't quite let go of his humanity just yet, and there might be a chance he can be redeemed. Ultimately, D successfully convinces Kevin to stay true to his feelings and renounce his vampirism entirely, with him becoming an ally to him from then on.
Evil Makes You Ugly: Not as dramatically as Pyotr, since he's not a Nosferatu and wasn't much to look at in the first place, but he looks far more haggard and wild as a vampire than the plain, dorky-looking man seen on his driver’s license.
Eye Scream: Kitten stakes him through the eye in the first episode, though it's fully regrown by 'Highly Controversial Debate (CHOOSE YOUR SIDE)', which takes place at least two nights after the injury.
Forensic Accounting: Attempted to warn the Regent about the risks of draining ghouls and other humans of their money to fund the chantry, pointing out that, on top of leaving their mortal minions destitute, such a tactic leaves a paper-trail of fraud that an accountant like him could follow. Big-D agrees, hailing taxmen as "the unsung heroes of the world of the hunter".
Ham-to-Ham Combat: His interactions with Big D (when not heartfelt drama or exposition) are usually the two of them trying to out-crazy and out-shout each-other.
Heel Realization: The end of the second audio log seems to imply this, as Big-D's words and genuine kindness moved him enough to start giving him pretty vital information that other Vampires would kill to keep secret.
Heel–Face Turn: By the time of the third audiobook, Kevin is now a part of the Hunters and actively working with Big D to tear down the local Camarilla sect.
Hidden Depths: Kevin was an accountant in his mortal life, and was brought into the Tremere to act as a book-keeper for the Regent's funds. He was actually quite skilled at it too. Unfortunately, he fell out of favor when he brought up the unappreciated danger of human tax laws and how simply draining ghouls of all their funds isn't a viable long-term strategy. He's also still quite attached to his mortal life, maintaining his apartment and even keeping a beloved pet cat.
Human Pincushion: He gets staked by the whole family at once after they find a way to overcome his Dominate power, and he has way more than five stakes in him when Door drops his paralyzed carcass in the bus.
Hypnotic Eyes: Among Clan Tremere's three vampiric disciplines, Kevin seems to have mainly focused on "Dominate", which manifests as a bright red glow from his Scary Shiny Glasses. However, the Family is able to thwart it by closing their eyes (with sunglasses) and screaming a Psychic Block Defence to shatter Kevin's concentration.
Ignored Expert: He was made a vampire specifically so North Norfolk's Camarilla chapter could benefit from his skill at accounting. Yet, when he warned the local Regent about major financial issues — bad enough to risk the wrath of the taxmen — she not only ignored it, but had him punished. This is one of the major reasons why he defected to the Sabbat. Ironically, this exact same trope is what would lead Big-D and his family of Hunters to his pack, as Ape ignored his implied warnings to stop overfeeding to avoid drawing attention to the tunnels they were hiding out in.
I Hate You, Vampire Dad: Kevin deeply resents his sire for embracing him against his will, bringing him into the local Tremere chantry to serve as a treasurer, only to cast him aside when he gave his masters harsh economic advice they didn't want to hear. He also hates the Tremere Pyramid, likening it to a psychologically abusive relationship, and joined the Sabbat because the pack-bonding ritual they have breaks all other magical bonds.
I Just Want to Be Free: It becomes increasingly clear from his conversation with Big-D that all Kevin wants at this point is to no longer need to answer to the Camarilla, the Sabbat, his Sire, or any other vampires...
I Just Want to Be Normal: ...and to live an ordinary human life in his ordinary apartment with his beloved cat Smerples. However, he's lost all hope of this ever happening, and doesn't see any way out other than embracing the Beast or receiving final death.
Indubitably Uninteresting Individual: Back as a human, being an accountant from a middle class family that could expect to lead, in his words, "a pleasant, stagnant, unexceptional life" and whose dreams for more were on life support. It's Played for Drama in this case, as now that he's a vampire he longs for even that mediocre existence once more, even pretending to be alive against Sabbat teachings, rather than this.
Kindhearted Cat Lover: The first hint that he's not really as evil as he seems is the reveal that he owns a pet cat by the name of Mr. Smerples. Despite being frustrated by Mr. Smerples' tendency to pee on his rug, Kevin is still fond of and cares for them. He also makes occasional mentions of how cats are adorable in general. Big D begrudgingly agrees to look after Mr. Smerples as part of managing Kevin's mortal affairs.
Kevin: SMERPLES IS EVIL TOO! He once peed on my rug, then I threw it in the washer, and then I took it out of the washer, and I dried it, and then I put it back down and he peed on it again! Very evil little boy!!
Big-D: The bastard...
Large Ham: Somehow in the usual World of Ham that Alfabusa normally creates, Kevin manages to stand out. He handles himself in a much more grandiose way than his rather low status would deserve.
Leaning on the Fourth Wall: In second audiolog he makes several guesses about what Big D may be — a mage, a ghoul, a fairy — all echoing popular fan theories.
Mind Rape: This is how Kevin describes his blood bond with the Tremeres, back when he was part of the Camarilla. Once turned, the blood bond he now shared with the rest of the clan began influencing him to love and serve his Tremere masters against his will, no matter how cruelly they treat him. Any attempts to resist left him feeling disgusted that he felt that way at all. Even worse, the blood bond is eerily reminiscent of abusive Gaslighting. This ultimately factored into his decision to betray the Camarilla and join the Sabbat.
Mundane Made Awesome: He boasts about being an accountant building spreadsheets in the exact same over-the-top way as he does about being a wizard.
Not in This for Your Revolution: Kevin joining the Sabbat was never an ideological matter; he doesn't believe in their cause in the slightest, and only used the Vaulderie to escape the Tremere Pyramid.
Odd Friendship: With Big-D. After their final interrogation he seems to have hit it off with the family Patriarch rather well.
Pragmatic Villainy: As a member of the Camarilla, where he stated that they needed to pay servants, as even if they were blood-bonded or mind controlled, they still needed to buy groceries to avoid starving to death. And also that things would smell of tax fraud if they didn't.
Kevin: Everything must add up or you will be subtracted from the equation!
Red Eyes, Take Warning: Whenever he activates his Domination ability, his eyes glow with a very menacing red.
Sad Clown: He may be arguably the silliest of the licks, but underneath it he's just a sad man who never achieved his dreams in life and was struggling in a dead-end job. Becoming a Vampire meant for him only being a victim of slavery and gaslighting, followed by being ostracised by fellow Vampires. Even joining the Sabbat was more a cruel necessity to him than anything else.
Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Abandoned both his clan and the Camarilla, for very understandable reasons.
Seen It All: Apparently his un-life in Yarmouth has lead to him seeing a lot.
Big-D: You don't inject crack, Kevin! You fucking office worker!
Kevin: You can! You totally can! You've never unlived in Yarmouth, you don't understand!
Sole Survivor: As of episode 3, he's the only one of the Licks still standing. Both Shitbeard and Ape were killed by Pyotr, while Pyotr himself was killed by the Family.
Then Let Me Be Evil: Fully admits that he feels the Sabbat's ideology of embracing the Beast at least gave him something resembling the freedom he craves, as opposed to the Camarilla and Tremere Pyramid's oppression.
The Starscream: He not so subtly suggests that he has designs on usurping Pyotr as acting pack leader of the Licks, though he's quick to deny it when Big D notices this.
Token Good Teammate: Surprisingly, he actually seems to be this to the rest of his Sabbat packmates. Kevin hangs onto several items from his mortal life, still owns his apartment (and makes an effort to be seen by the neighbors to ward off suspicion), and has a cat he clearly adores, all things he keeps a secret from the other Sabbat. Given that he was embraced against his will, and then treated poorly for doing his job correctly, Big-D comes to the conclusion that Kevin is only with the Sabbat because he feels as if he has no other choice.
Tom the Dark Lord: The Great and Mighty Kevin is very proud of his name and loudly announces it multiple times.
Trademark Favorite Food: According to him, he enjoyed "poppyseed bagels with creamed cheese and lox [brined salmon]" in his human life.
Tragic Villain: Don't be fooled by all the grandstanding, Kevin is absolutely miserable as a vampire. He hates the Sabbat only nominally less than the Camarilla, and only because the Sabbat was able to free him from the blood bond slavery of the Tremere clan.
Kevin: This story comes to no good end. I cannot follow my dreams. I must scrounge to stay alive or sane, I... I cannot remain human any longer. My only hope is to embrace a shadow of this dream, to embrace the Beast, and hope freedom is on the other side.
Big-D: Freedom never comes through surrender.
Kevin: Perhaps not. But it's the only chance I have left.
Unskilled, but Strong: He's 9th generation but only twenty-seven years old. That allowed him to dominate a whole group of skilled hunters but he's low ranking in the Licks.
Vampiric Draining: He tried draining Big-D... but it ends up backfiring when Big-D reveals he got himself high on DMT, causing him to trip out and leaving him vulnerable to being shot by Kitten.
Vitriolic Best Buds: Settles into this dynamic with Big-D after spending time with him. He definitely respects the man a great deal and seems to enjoy his company, plus trusting his with his beloved cat, but he also cannot resist viciously mocking D when the opportunity presents itself.
Wizard Classic: The Great & Mighty Kevin is a Tremere vampire with this aesthetic. For some reason, he's still shocked when Kitten identifies him as a "Vampire Wizard".
Younger Than They Look: He looks like a scraggly, unhinged hobo in wizard's garb, but he's actually twenty-seven. He blames his appearance on his stressful day job and psoriasis (a skin disease).
Big-D: (shocked) How— wait, how on earth are you 27 years old?!
Kevin: MY DAY JOB WAS STRESSFUL AND ALSO I HAVE PSORIASIS WHAT DO YOU WANT.

Pyotr

Peter Piotrowski/"Pyotr"

You should've taken my offer, loverboy.

^{Click here to see him when he was alive}

Voiced by: DrWhite

The leader of the Licks, a Nosferatu with greasy hair. Once an aquatic welder, he was embraced in 1981 by his workforce superior during an underwater Sabbat operation.

Abhorrent Admirer: Towards Kitten. Emphasis on abhorrent.
Ain't Too Proud to Beg: His last words are him pathetically whining "I don't wanna die".
Alliterative Name: His full name when he was a human was Peter Piotrowski.
Ambiguously Gay: When Kitten calls him "hideous," Pyotr apparently thinks he’s hitting on him and starts calling him "loverboy."
Arc Villain: As the leader of the Licks, Pyotr is the primary antagonist of the first few episodes of Hunter: the Parenting.
An Arm and a Leg: He loses the bottom half of his right leg to a mine, which causes him to realize the entire front lawn to Kitten's house he's standing on had been converted into a minefield. A scene briefly shows the stump healing at the knee, though Pyotr claims he would regain his leg if he had the chance to feed.
Assimilation Backfire: It isn't called attention to, but his Diablerie of Ape and Shitbeard end up biting him when, as in the source material, he takes on some of their mannerisms as a result of devouring their blood and souls, gaining Ape's zealous behavior and Shitbeard's rage and tunnel vision. These two things in combination with his power high make him act more invincible than he is and miss key details that bite him, like the minefield or Boy off to the side with a gun.
Badass Boast: Gives a chilling one when Kitten calls him out for being a pathetic, opportunistic coward.
Gentlemen! You seem to have difficulty understanding that I'm the goddamn Sabbat. Mercy? Shame? Human weaknesses! I am beyond human! I see what I want and I take it! If I can take it, it belongs to me! I AM THE SWORD OF CAINE, YOU WRETCH! AND I FALL WHERE I PLEASE!
Bad Boss: He's the leader of the Licks, but it's very clear he doesn't give two shits about them. He insults and tears down Ape and Shitbeard and when Marckus puts them into a death match to see what would happen, he responds to Ape's request to team up against Shitbeard by simply cackling and declaring "Monomacy it is!"^* before promptly going invisible until Ape and Shitbeard wear each other down.
Blinded by Rage: As Kitten says, an angry vampire is a predictable vampire. A few pointed insults were all it took for Pyotr to leap at Kitten and onto his stake in Chapter 1. He goes on to repeat this same blunder twice in Chapter 3, which leads directly to his final death. To his credit, he realizes his mistake and tries to avoid this, even using it against Kitten by attacking Marckus, but it just backfires on him. He also doesn't immediately leap at Door when provoked.
Butter Face: After diablerizing Ape and Shitbeard, his body becomes a sensual mountain of muscle that's bursting from his clothes, but keeps his monstrous Nosferatu face.
Card-Carrying Villain: He's very proud about being "the Goddamned Sabbat" and openly embraces all of the most violent and cruel vampire stereotypes. When he's called out for his selfishness, he furiously rejects the idea of following any sort of moral scruples whatsoever.
Character Death: Meets his end in Chapter 3, after being incapacitated by landmines and exposed to the rising sun. The after-credits sequence even shows Pyotr's soul being dragged off to Hell by the Devil.
Combat Pragmatist: When the Licks are forced to fight each-other for blood in Chapter 2, he sits out the fight with his Nosferatu stealth abilities, letting Apeboy and Shitbeard wear each-other down before swooping in to finish them both off.
Dirty Coward: Kitten calls him out on this. During his first encounter with the Hunters, he only went after Boy, a child, while leaving other Licks to fight the rest of his older and stronger family. Later on, after being captured and ordered by Marckus to eat one another, he could have used his position as the group's leader to but instead chose to turn invisible, allowing them to go after one another so he can diablerize them both in the aftermath. In response, Pyotr just mocks Kitten for thinking that a Sabbat like him even cares.
Disproportionate Retribution: Considering Nosferatus specifically target "Cleopatras" (people with good looks they see as shallow and/or vain) in order to bring them down a peg or two, there's a chance he was victim of this even if he was already working for the Sabbat before his Embrace.
Dragged Off to Hell: The Stinger of Episode 3 has him waking up next to a pit, only for Karl the Deranged to emerge from the darkness, welcome him to Hell, and drag him screaming into the pit.
Drone of Dread: Pyotr's Leitmotif, used prominently in Chapter 1's "The Nosferatu" and Chapter 2's "The Nosferatu's Glare".
Establishing Character Moment: Episode 1 introduces him in a Jump Scare, popping out of the darkness to prey on a defenseless Boy. While he is thankfully stopped by Kitten, it goes to show that he is the most depraved and predatory of the Licks, both in looks and personality — even his face in that moment is used as an image for the show's Nightmare Fuel page to show how terrifying the world of Hunter: The Reckoning can be.
Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: Kitten yells at him to stop while he's curb-stomping Marckus into the ground. Pyotr's response is "Stomp? Well, I was going to ease up, but if you insist!"
Evil Laugh: Laughs maniacally in the second episode when the Hunters decide to pit the Licks against each other and have them eat each other since this means they have no idea what happens when a vampire eats another.
Evil Makes You Ugly: Before he was Embraced, the man was an absolute bombshell of a man. If it weren't for the fact that he was working with the Sabbat when he got Embraced, there would be an argument that he might be a Cleopatra ^note
Eye Scream: Gets his eyes burned out by Marckus' blowtorch. He regrows them after diablerizing Apeboy.
Fantastic Racism: As a vampire, he treats humans the same way humans treat livestock — dumb animals for him and his kind to feed on. When he gets the wrong impression and assumes Kevin is screwing Big-D and is told that is absolutely not happening, he makes a crack about zoophilia.
Fatal Flaw: He has a lot of these, which eventually lead to his downfall and final death.
- Arrogance and a bad temper, which combine to make Pyotr easily baited into reckless headlong attacks. A bit of mockery from Kitten leads Pyotr to leap right into a spear thrust, and during the final confrontation, Kitten and Door both taunt and enrage him until he attempts to traverse the house's minefield, leading to his final death.
- Once he diablerizes Apeboy and Shitbeard, overconfidence. He toys with the hunters instead of just outright killing them, believing he's so far above them that they're no longer a threat, which backfires spectacularly on him. He could easily have finished off Marckus and Big-D, but instead chooses to waste time chasing Kitten, leaving Door free to go get his secret stash.
- Finally, paranoia. Both Kitten and Door point out that for all his power and ruthlessness, he's nothing more than an opportunistic coward; When he first ambushed them in the tunnels, his first target was Boy, and he simply hid in a corner and let Apeboy and Shitbeard wear each other down before he swooped in. Even after his Diablerie boost, he exclusively targets either isolated individuals, or people too wounded to fight back and continues using deception and stealth because he just refuses to risk being hurt, even if his newly enchanced strength and regenerative powers would have allowed him to easily slaughter the entire family at numerous points. Finally, Door manages to get in his head so badly that he genuinely starts wondering if he stands a chance, since if he slips up and makes a mistake, he has an eternity to lose, as Door puts it.
From Nobody to Nightmare: As confirmed by Kevin in the second audiolog, Kevin himself is a 9th Generation vampire, with Shitbeard being 10th, Apeboy being 11th, and Pyotr only being 12th, little better than a thin-blood or Caitiff who was only in charge of their pack by merit of being the oldest vampire among them. By diablerizing Shitbeard and Apeboy he's not only healed up all of his injuries from the fight with the family and gained a significant boost in power, but he is now a 10th Generation vampire with the blood potency to match.
Gonk: The ugliest of the Licks, since being Embraced by a Nosferatu tanks your appearance.
Graceful Loser: His one admirable trait is acceptance of when he has no chance. He simply lets out a resigned "oh" when Marckus blowtorches his eyes out and compliments Kitten when he gets staked. He noticeably loses this trait once he starts riding high off his double diablerie.
Healing Factor: His eyes grow back after eating Apeboy. He later gets a lower leg blown off by a land mine and starts regenerating it before he's destroyed for good.
Hulking Out: After diablerizing Ape and Shitbeard, he becomes very top-heavy and gains an elongated jaw.
Immortals Fear Death: Pyotr's priority-one is his own survival, because receiving a final death terrifies him more than anything else. Door seems to realize this very quickly, and his lecture causes Pyotr to suffer a momentary crisis.
Invisibility: It's one of the Nosferatu's Disciplines after all and is called Obfuscate in this universe. The fact that he can also uses it to be invisible to cameras as well, when the power supposedly only makes you invisible to living creatures, indicates that he's pretty good at it. He uses it in episode 2 to let Apeboy and Shitbeard duke it out and strike when they're both exhausted and wounded.
It's All About Me: Pyotr is a vicious, selfish, cutthroat predator whose only priority is his own survival and advancement. He even genuinely despises Shitbeard to the point of relishing diablerizing him despite the fact that they're bound by a Viniculum strong enough that it made Kevin, though overridden by how much he hated his packmates, want to stab Big D forty times for his part in the pack's deaths.
I Was Quite a Looker: We get to see a photo of his human self in the third audiolog. Turns out he was reasonably handsome before being subjected to the curse of the Nosferatu. As Big-D observes: "Poor fellow. No wonder he was such a prick."
Karmic Death: He revels in being a vampire and considers mortals to be Embrace fodder at best, and he causes the family no end of trouble and tries to hunt them in their own home. He's disabled by a trap set by Door and then ambushed by Boy, the youngest and weakest of the hunters, which results in him burning to death in the sun, having fallen as their prey. He is then Dragged Off to Hell by Karl the Deranged.
Kick the Dog: He cruelly tells a weakened Shitbeard moments before killing and feeding on him that while he liked Apeboy, he never liked the old man.
Looks Like Orlok: Downplayed. While all members of Clan Nosferatu are hideous like the character from the film, most Nossies (and Pyotr in particular) don’t exactly look like him. Pyotr in particular has long greasy hair, bulging eyes, and a lipless mouth, as opposed to the bald, rat-faced Orlok.
Meaningful Name: His name translates to "rock". A rock was the tool used to carry out the very first murder in biblical history, with Caine, the aforementioned murderer, cursed to become the first vampire worshipped by the Sabbat. As if to acknowledge this, Pyotr seems to enjoy referring to himself and the Sabbat by their nickname: "The Sword of Caine".
Monstrous Cannibalism: Marckus encourages the Licks to feed on each other as an experiment, a fight that Pyotr wins. However, because diablerie is a thing, Marckus unwittingly makes Pyotr a much stronger foe than he was in the tunnels.
Nightmare Face: There's a damn good reason his mug is on this series' Nightmare Fuel page, with his enormous mouth, numerous teeth, and bulging, staring eyes. It gets worse in the second episode when he regrows them after diablerizing Apeboy. His newly grown eyes are bloodshot with visible yellow irises, making them even creepier.
"Not So Different" Remark: After Door says he does not consider Vampires to be anything but corpses, Pyotr remarks he would make a good Vampire. However, he says it in a mocking way, as he believes Door would make a good member of clan Ventrue. Ventrues are considered snobbish at best and pompous pricks at worst among Kindred circles and are almost always on the Camarilla's side, something the Sabbat-affiliated Pyotr abhors.
Not-So-Harmless Villain: While all of the Licks are a bit more threatening than their Starter Villain status would imply, Pyotr in particular becomes a much greater threat when Marckus lets him diablerize Apeboy and Shitbeard, not knowing that it would make him stronger.
Oh, Crap!: He gets a glorious silent one in the stinger of episode 3. After dying he finds himself in a dark void before a pit and is confronted by a truly gigantic devil played by Karl the Deranged who welcomes him to Hell before dragging him down. All Pyotr can do before being grabbed is look up like a deer in the headlights, implied to be intimidation from the devil's size and panic at the fact that said devil referred to him by the real pronunciation of his name.
Opportunistic Bastard: Canny observation from Big-D determines him to be this; since he obviously specced into Invisibility rather than a Nosferatu's other abilities, he isn't particularly strong until diablerizing Shitbeard and only strikes when he knows he can quickly win.
Pretentious Pronunciation: Marckus points out his name is the Slavic version of "Peter" (which is pronounced "p-yo-ter") but he pronounces it with English phonemes ("pi-o-tear"). The Devil calls him "Peter" (with English pronunciation) before dragging him off to Hell. And the third audiolog reveals his real name is Peter Piotrowski. Also notably, Shitbeard is the only character to actually refer to him by the "Peter" pronunciation before his death while trying to get his attention during Pyotr's boasting to the family about the Sabbat's power.
Rasputinian Death: He gets one of his legs blown off by a mine and gets knocked into several more by a well-timed shot from Boy, which blows off his other leg and leaves him a bloody mess. And this isn't even enough to kill him, but it does knock him out until the sun comes up and finishes the job.
Reduced to Dust: After being rendered comatose by his injuries in Chapter 3, the rising sun burns Pyotr's body to ash.
Repetitive Name: "Piotrowski" comes from "Piotr", the Polish variant of "Peter".
Shovel Strike: Grabs a Poundland-branded shovel in Chapter 3, and brandishes it at Kitten and Marckus with the clear intent to kill them with it. In his fight with Door, Pyotr uses the shovel to toss a hunk of dirt and detonate a few landmines, kicking up a screening cloud of dust that allows the vampire to dodge Door's gunfire and retaliate by throwing the shovel like a javelin, stunning Door and cracking the visor of his EOD suit.
The Sociopath: While he does have his own quirks like his fellow Licks, of the group he was the most disconnected from his former humanity even in personality, and it showed. He shows a complete Lack of Empathy even towards his fellow Licks, and while he appears to be caring for his pack-mates on the surface, he's quite the Opportunistic Bastard and was willing to betray, kill, and feed on both Apeboy and Shitbeard to get more power. He is completely disdainful of humanity, treating them as one would treat livestock, and absolutely enjoys the perks that come with a Vampire, even developing a borderline god complex once he receives his power-up. He is also a Manipulative Bastard, trying to convince Kitten and Marckus to become Vampires, too (though he fails on that front), and in Episode 3 he keeps the entire Family on their toes — even leaving them brutally injured — via use of his Invisibility, his cunning, and whatever he could find on their property. Finally, like most Sabbat Vampires, he believes himself to be on some grand Crusade started by his kind's progenitor, Caine, and is enraged when Kitten essentially calls him a cowardly, opportunistic thug. In the end, it's his grandoise self-importance and overconfidence that leads to his death, having severely underestimated Door and Boy in the adrenaline rush brought by his earlier feeding and being left incapacitated by the father-son duo long enough to be incinerated by the sun.
Stealth Expert: He evidently specializes in his clan's Invisibility powers, and unlike most who have it, even cameras can't pick him up.
Tall, Dark, and Snarky: He is a gangly and black-haired Sabbat vampire who is the tallest of his gang, and he's the snarkiest of them all, delivering sharp-tongued quips to his fellows whenever they act stupid.
Took a Level in Badass: In Chapter 1, he's the second of the Licks to go down and he does so like a punk. In Chapter 2, he waits for Apeboy and Shitbeard to beat each other bloody, then swoops in and feeds on both, growing much more powerful in the process and escaping his prison. The second audiolog further establishes that Pyotr is a mere 12th generation vampire, the lowest of the group and, on paper, weaker than even New Meat Apeboy. The rules of diablerie mean that devouring Apeboy and Shitbeard artificially lowers Pyotr's generation by two steps, making this trope almost literal.
Top-Heavy Guy: After diablarizing the muscular Shitbeard and Ape, Pytor upper body bulks up considerably.
Underestimating Badassery:
- Kevin, a 9th generation vampire, looks down on Pyotr for being a "12th generation rube", and claims Pyotr is only in charge because he's been undead the longest, and thus has more experience. Since this opinion comes from an audiolog released after episode 2, people watching in chronological order already know that Pyotr will successfully devour the other Licks and become significantly stronger.
- In episode 3 Pyotr is guilty of it himself. After disabling Big D he abandons the careful stealth and ambush tactics he excels at in favor of the direct approach in the belief the rest pose no real threat. He gets baited into multiple traps and killed by them taking advantage of his grandstanding.
Vampiric Draining: Drains both Apeboy and Shitbeard to death in episode 2.
Villain Respect: He admits to "liking" the Hunters for kicking his and the gang's asses back in Episode 1.
Weak, but Skilled: He is the highest generation (12th) vampire in the Licks, but he has also been undead for far longer than the rest of them. Whilst his high generation means his powers are relatively weak, he's had more practical experience and has had time to hone his skills which puts him in a position of authority in the group.
Worf Had the Flu: In episode 1 he goes down extremely easy, to the point Kitten lampshades in first audiolog how anticlimactic it was. Big D warns him that Pyotr may be far more dangerous and in this particular fight merely was out of his element. Come episode 2 and Pyotr proceeds to prove Big D right.
You Bastard!: Pulls a very subtle one in-universe in Episode 2, when he mocks the fact Marckus's quasi-wrestling commentarry on Lick's three-way fight stopped the moment once he massacred Apeboy, almost as if he was calling the Family out for setting it up not prepared for this result.
Pyotr: Hey, JR! Can't help but notice the crowd go mild... Am I good to collect my winnings now?

Shitbeard

Richard Porter/"Shitbeard"

Anyway, the point is we cannot eat cream crackers anymore...

Voiced by: Earndil

Largest of the Licks, old and fat Brujah that looks like a biker. He was embraced during a series of Blood drive disappearances in 1995.

All Bikers are Hells Angels:
- Shitbeard fits the look in stereotyping members of the clan, and even lampshades it with a shirt that has "Hell's Fuckers" printed on the front as well as a jacket with a "Hell's Fuckers" patch on the back. He states his clan's name with an exaggerated "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" like the sound of a motorcycle engine.
- Later played straight in the third audiolog, where it is established that Hell's Fuckers are an affiliate of the Sabbat and are known by the Norfolk police for causing trouble (usually targeting Camarilla assets) wherever they go.
Berserk Button: Given how much he hates being a Vampire, he moves to drink Marckus dry for (falsely) asking him for the Embrace. During his captivity, it also becomes clear he hates being reminded of the simple mundanity his new unlife has robbed him of.
Blessed with Suck: Does not enjoy his existence as a Brujah, and actively starts cussing out Marckus for (pretending to) want the Embrace. Yeah, he's got age-immune immortality and super strength, but he also had his life as a college student interrupted by it, and he misses being able to go out during the day and eat normal food (particularly cream crackers).
Bruiser with a Soft Center: Shitbeard is a ruthless Sabbat vampire, but he's the most emotional of his gang and was a college student before he was turned, which only happened in the first place because he was donating blood.
Character Death: Shitbeard is diablerized by Pyotr in Chapter 2, fuelling his escape from the Family's basement.
Double Consciousness: Implied, as he seems to have trouble reconciling his anti-class, anti-hierarchical views, that he probably had even before being turned, with realities of being a Vampire.
Glass Cannon: It's implied he actually doesn't put much, if any, focus on the Potence discipline, focusing instead on Celerity. He thus lacks the supernatural strength Ape has in favor of mashing foes to a pulp with his already great natural strength and Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs. However, he has a tendency to get taken out of fights with one solid hit, first falling victim to Marckus' stake jacket in the first chapter, then to Ape's Impaler DDT in the second. The latter spells his end, as his caved in skull leaves him dazed and weakened enough that he can barely so much as beg Pyotr for mercy.
Healthy in Heaven: The post-credit scene of Chapter 2 implies his soul actually made it to heaven, as he was extremely vocal about how much he hates being a vampire. His voice and facial features have softened, and as he ascends, he implores the viewers to support colleges and anyone who wishes to participate in them. This is in stark contrast to Pyotr's fate, shown in Chapter 3's post-credit scene; because he loved every second of his unlife and the misery he caused others, he is dragged off to Hell by Karl the Deranged.
Hidden Depths: In Chapter 2, Shitbeard claims to be college-educated, which is supported by his mentioning of Kant's Categorical Imperative. A creator approved comment also points out that this is someone who comes across as a rougher biker type, who felt passionately about something that after missing it in his youth he went on to go to college when around middle-aged (and seemingly abroad too, considering his American accent while being in Britain). Meanwhile also having held himself to high moral standards like Kant's moral imperative, in his human life, which still lingers to a degree now even whilst that causes a struggle/severe clashing with his vampire lifestyle. The post-credits Patreon plug shows his human self politely asking the audience to support children going to college.
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Delivers one to both Kitten and Marckus in episode 1, with the former needing the ice-pack but the latter getting the worst of it.
Only Sane Man: He, of all people, has elements of this in episode 2, having the most grounded understanding of the Sabbat presence in the area, claiming their position needs building up and that the Camarilla and Anarchs still have strong footholds nearby. Pyotr and Apeboy are both a little too hopped up on pro-Sabbat enthusiasm to acknowledge it, though in Pyotr's case there's a chance he simply didn't want to admit to weakness in front of the Family. Shitbeard also gets frustrated with Pyotr freely giving away information about vampire society to the Family.
Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: For someone with a very overweight frame he can deliver some fast and painful punches (helps that his fists look pretty damn big).
Trademark Favorite Food: In an agitated rant about missing the pleasures of mortal life, he mentions cream crackers three times, suggesting that he takes his vampiric inability to eat normal food especially poorly.
Unskilled, but Strong: As a 10th generation Vampire, only Kevin has a lower generation than him, but has no notable skill in doing anything other than pummeling his opponents to a pulp. His focus on brute force over technique leads to Ape overpowering him and caving his skull in with an Impaler DDT.
Unstoppable Rage: Likely a combination of both his Brujah Clan Curse and his own frustration with his vampiric situation, Shitbeard tends to slip into a frothing, tunnel-visioned fury during combat, shifting the target of his fury from one opponent to another for incredibly slight reasons. The most notable example would be him attacking Kitten for stabbing Pyotr, then whirling his focus entirely around to Marckus because... well...
Marckus: Do yourself a favour. Stop brutalizing my fiancé PLEASE.
Shitbeard: YOU get to have a FIANCÉ!? FUCK YOU!!!
Villains Want Mercy: He tries to beg Pyotr to spare him, but the Nosferatu just tells him he never really liked him, before feeding on him.
Will Not Tell a Lie: He corrects Ape and Pyotr when they try to impress the family by lying about how well the Sabbat is doing in the area, on the grounds that Kant's Categorical Imperative forbids lying for any reason.
You Are What You Hate: He follows Kant's Categorical Imperative and expresses views strongly opposing of class division and hierarchies, with some fans trying to pinpoint him as an anarchist, socialist or outright communist. Yet he is a Vampire, which means his whole existence stands in continuous opposition to all these views as Vampire society is inherently hierarchical and they see themselves as a superior "class" to humans and must feed and even kill them to continue their existence. If his rants are anything to go by, he is self-aware enough to suffer a cognitive dissonance about it.

The Camarilla

One of the dominant conspiracies of vampire-kind across the world. Norfolk, while a backwater in the greater scheme of things, is nominally part of their territory and is presided over by a "prince" (a sort of vampric governor).

The Prince

A thus-far unseen female vampire, the Prince is the overall leader of the Carmarilla vampires in England's Norfolk county.

Aliens in Cardiff: She is a vampire lord headquartered in Norfolk, an English country with a reputation for being very stereotypically "rural".
Big Bad: As the highest-ranking vampire in Norfolk, all local vampires aligned to the Camarilla owe fealty to her.
- The Sabbat and Anarchs are opposed to her, and the Licks were hiding out in the forest tunnels because they were "chased there by the Cammies". Pyotr believes that the Family is being manipulated by the Prince to destroy the Camarilla's enemies.
- The Tremere Regent answers to the Prince as one of her primogen; senior vampires who represent their clans as an equivalent to local politicians. When Chapman the ghoul offers to defect from the Regent, Big-D is quick to warn Kevin that if they don't take the offer, he'll tell the Regent what's going on, and she in turn will tell the Prince.
The Chessmaster: Pyotr believes the Family has been hunting non-Camarilla vampires with her indirect assistance. Whether this is true or not remains to be seen.
Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Thus far, she's only been referred to as "The Prince" by people who know her. Door refers to her as "Carmilla", but due to his information being dodgy patchwork at best and the fact that he calls her title "First Vampire", he's most likely just woefully misinformed.
Eviler than Thou: This is how the Licks feel about her, their dialogue heavily implying that the Sabbat in the region are losing their turf war with her.
Evil Versus Evil: In three-way turf war with the Sabbat and Anarchs over control of the county of Norfolk.
The Ghost: So far not seen nor named, but talked about frequently.
She Is the King: She's "the Prince", yet everyone refers to her with female pronouns. This is not out of the norm, as the Camarilla title is non-gendered.

The Regent

Voiced by: BoneWeary

An elder vampire of Clan Tremere, leader of the local Tremere Chantry, and Kevin's grandsire.

Aliens in Cardiff: Kevin calls her "the Regent of Yarmouth", indicating that her cabal of vampiric blood-magicians is headquartered in the seaside resort town of Great Yarmouth. The audiologs imply that her chantry is located underneath a 99p Store, of all places.
Bad Boss: According to Kevin, she was cruel and tyrannical to him even before he fell out of favor for pointing out things she didn't want to hear. Also, her way of financing her operation is to make Ghouls give her all their money, not leaving enough for them to be able to even buy food, and letting them starve to death. She's also neglectful of her minions in general, as Detective Chapman hasn't had his blood-bond renewed for the better part of a year, practically guaranteeing he'd find another master.
Born in the Wrong Century: According to Kevin she has an obsession with the iron-age Iceni and Queen Boudica, both of which pre-date Clan Tremere as a whole by roughly a thousand years.
Expy: With her being a Faux Affably Evil hedonistic aristocrat attended to by a servant named Timothy, she seems to be a gender-bent version of TTS's Asdrubael Vect.
Faux Affably Evil: Her talk over the phone with Polydora is almost diabetically sweet, but we've heard enough from her other former servants that she's full of selfishness, ignorance, and petty malice.
The Ghost: None of the Camarilla have appeared onscreen (unless the Monk is the Prince), but we get a reasonable idea of her character from the testimony of Kevin and Chapman, who used to work for her. She gets a speaking role in The Blender Crusade, but only over telephone.
Giver of Lame Names: The Regent was responsible for giving Kevin a new name to signify his departure from humanity: Herbertus. Kevin loathes it, calling it his "shitty Camarilla roleplay name".
Gruesome Grandparent: The vampire equivalent. She is Kevin's grand-sire, but that lineage didn't stop her from abusing him for perceived disloyalty and incompetance, which resulted in Kevin's sire abusing him as well.
Intimidating Revenue Service: Defied, she does not take seriously Kevin's warnings that her current strategy is basically asking for HMRC to start poking into her finances.
Mook Depletion: Her plan to get funds by forcing brainwashed Ghouls to give her all their money has an unfortunate side effect of them starving once they can no longer afford food. We actually see the results of her incompetence in the third audiolog; her inattentiveness to her minions causes her to not only lose an incredibly valuable asset in Sergeant-Detective Chapman, but practically hand him over to Hunters who are eager to bring her down.
No Social Skills: Kevin says she's very inept at navigating the world of the mundane, and apparently likes talking about things no one in polite or sane society would ever bring up.
Poke the Poodle: When Kevin sees the advertisement for the Marketable Kevin Plushie, he shouts "What has she done!?", seemingly believing that the Regent ordered the creation of the plushie.
Powerful, but Incompetent: The Regent is an ancient vampire of low generation with no sense of tactics or long-term self-preservation. She's also shut herself off from the mortal world for so long that she's oblivious to modern technology and basic economics.
Rank Scales with Asskicking: According to Kevin, the Regent is a 7th Generation vampire and fairly ancient besides, meaning she's much stronger than the fledgeling Licks and likely one of the most powerful vampires in the entire region. She'd be an even greater threat if not for the fact that she's a moron.
Stupid Evil: By all accounts, the Regent is vicious, ruthless, and completely incompetent. Whether disregarding the financial advice she paid for, forcing her minions into destitution, or simply neglecting their needs, she seems intent on digging her own grave. It's implied that her senior position on the Pyramid relative to everyone else in the Chantry is the only reason she's in charge at all.
- Shown even further in the second part of the Blender Crusade: the 99p Store she owns is apparently built directly on top of an "entrance" to something, presumably her lair, and her complete inability to upkeep security measures as simple as security cameras led to her having a masquerade breach (even worse, one from an experienced Hunter). This means she has no way to track him down, and all the stuff that could've been used to track him down, namely a number of things D dropped when he fell that had aliases on it, she completely bought as his identity, and left her daughter to deal with on the off-chance Big D ever shows up again.
Technologically Blind Elders: She's an old vampire who has largely shut herself off from the modern world, leaving her unfamiliar with common technology like phones (needing to be instructed by a minion to speak into the receiver). This leaves her woefully unprepared to deal with a potential masquerade breach, when a hunter nearly stumbles into her lair and the 99p store hardly has so much as a security camera functioning.
Too Dumb to Live: Her blatant disregard for maintaining any modicum of discretion and deferring to others essentially has handicapped herself. She threw Kevin to the wayside the moment he brought up the valid point that just exploiting the ghouls for their financial resources without compensating them (and not feeding them properly) is going to leave a nasty paper trail for taxmen to follow. Not wanting to at least acclimate enough around the social norms of the modern day, because of her obsession with sticking to her Iceni chantry roleplaying, leaves her completely blind to most trouble that's practically on her doorstep until it's too late, as Big-D shows by nearly walking into her base through the front door.
Too Much Information: According to Kevin, she likes to brag about her unshaven pubic hair.
War Reenactors: According to Kevin, she has her chantry roleplay as Iceni (the Celtic people living in the area at the time of the Roman Conquest) complete with a "Boudica" (likely herself). Fans of the setting might realize that her clan, Tremere, was founded about 1,000 years after Boudica's death, meaning it's impossible for her, or any of her offspring, to actually be Iceni.
We Have Reserves: According to Kevin, her attitude towards Ghouls. She didn't like it when he pointed out how impractical it is.

Kevin's Sire

A female vampire of Clan Tremere, childe of the Regent and Kevin's sire.

Abusive Parents: The vampire equivalent. She embraced Kevin solely to fill a strategic blind-spot in the Chantry, and immediately cast him aside when he was deemed a failure, and there is little love lost on Kevin's end. As Tremere vampires, Kevin likens their clan's native blood-bond to an abusive relationship, as his mind was constantly trying to gaslight him into remaining loyal despite her neglect and abuse; in fact, she tried to pressure him to deepen the bond as a means to regain favor.
Yes-Man: Kevin claims that she's "lost in the sauce" of the Tremere blood-bond, having little interest in anything beyond staying in the Regent's good graces. This meant that when Kevin was ostracized by the Regent, his sire all but abandoned him as well.

Polydora

Voiced by: Saskia Douglas

The manager of the local 99P store, who is first encountered in "The Blender Crusade: In Spiteful Defiance of Corporate Villainy".

Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: It very clear that Poly's happy-go-lucky demeanor is not authentic, which Big D picks up on almost immediately.
Big D: I could tell, just staring at her. Smiling face, raised dimples, saccharine tone- A predator laid beneath it all. This was a beast hiding behind a facade of nicety!
Daddy's Little Villain: Or rather Mummy's Little Villain. She is a daughter of the Regent and serves as one of her agents.
Jerkass Has a Point: She's overly saccharine and uses false nicety to talk down to D and get him to leave, and at one point insults him to his face. However, D is being an absolute nightmare of a customer, throwing a fit when the store doesn’t cater to his unreasonable demand of a product that they do not even sell. Even her calling him a “senile old freak” is… well, not an inaccurate description of Big D's behavior.
The Renfield: She's an agent of the Regent (specifically, her childe) posing as the humble manager of a 99p store.
Verbal Backspace: Does this after insulting Big D to his face during one of his monologues.
Big-D: I can get carried away at times for sure. It tends to happen-
Polydora: Senile old freak...
Big-D: (Beat)...What was that?
Polydora: See aisle three? That's where all our kitchenware is, though sadly we do not sell blenders.

Other characters

The Monk

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/monk_hunter.JPG

Hunters...

Voiced by: BoneWeary

A mysterious woman who appears at the end of the first episode.

Ambiguous Situation: She seems to be aware of the Family being monster hunters, and is featured prominently in the end credits amidst splashes of blood and iconography depicting vampires and werewolves, leading fans to speculate that she might be the Camarilla Prince. She also happens to share a voice actor with the unseen-at-the-time-of-writing Tremere Regent. She is indirectly confirmed as a vampire in Speaker D's guide to the World of Darkness, referenced as a 20th Anniversary Vampire: the Masquerade character in contrast with Ape (used as an example of a 5th Edition character).
Expy: Her appearance — a Statuesque Stunner with dark skin and wild hair — is modelled after the Celestial Shaman Queen from ITEHATTSD. The credits sequence, where she wears black dress with a cape, shows that she keeps her left arm concealed at all times, implying a deformity or disfigurement echoing the Shaman Queen's magic-induced mutation.
Literal Metaphor: It is hinted that the Hunters encountering the Sabbat vampires was a scheme of the Camarilla which, if her implied identity is true, means she literally played them like a fiddle.
Mysterious Watcher: She observes the Hunters’ bus as it leaves.
Real After All: Earlier in the episode, Kitten tells a story mentioning a black-clad monk and the mysterious disappearance of a fiddle-player in the tunnels. Although he finds no evidence of this and brushes it off when Marckus mentions it, a woman robed in black credited as “the Monk” appears in the background as the bus leaves, playing a fiddle herself.

Kräkus

A seeming wildman who lives in a ditch on the side of the road the family lives by. They treat him as an eccentric neighbor, although they're very wary about taking any of his advice.

Crazy Homeless People: What's been described of Kräkus lands him pretty firmly in this camp. From Big-D's reaction to the noises outside Horse's barn in Audiolog 4, screaming out into the night for no conceivable reason is not out of the question for him.
Expy: While his appearance remains unknown, he shares his name with the unhinged dung-collector the Lord Commander Militant created for Magnus's tabletop RPG campaign.
The Ghost: Is never seen onscreen, but he's a recurring fixture in the lives of Big-D's family members.

Edwin Davies (Unmarked spoilers for Audiolog 4!)

A former university mate of Kitten and the first vampire he witnessed and defeated.

Big Man on Campus: He was the go-to guy for money problems on campus, making him rather popular.
Deader than Dead: Kitten mentions he saw him fade away after falling on the fence, meaning he likely experienced Final Death as his heart was completely destroyed by his fall.
I'm a Humanitarian: Kitten describes how he partially devoured his flatmate Sarah instead of just drinking her blood. Whether it's because Edwin was a Nagaraja (and thus had to eat flesh in addition to drinking blood), wasn't taught how to properly feed himself, or went into a Frenzy while feeding isn't elaborated upon.
Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Kitten managed to kill him by kicking him through a window, making him fall on an iron fence.
Nice Guy: According to Kitten, Davis was popular because he generously gave away his own money to people who needed it.
Posthumous Character: Davies has been Deader than Dead for years; Kitten merely recounts the incident with him and how it opened his eyes to the World of Darkness. However, the whole incident with Davies still had a psychological impact on Kitten and ultimately led to the latter becoming part of Big-D's Hunter group/family.
Villain with Good Publicity: Davies was a wealthy university student, popular for his generosity with those poorer than him. However, one day Kitten discovered Davies had been turned into a Vampire when he found the latter feasting on one of his classmates, and things went downhill from there.
Villainous Breakdown: Kitten recalls he went into an insane rant as soon as he was found feasting on his classmate, to the point of screaming about the coffee stains on his suit (never mind the gallons of blood all over him) while trying to shank Kitten to death.

Old Lady

Voiced by: Naerina

An elderly woman, now a fledgling vampire, who is encountered by Big D one night in the Halloween short "A Life Well-Lived".

All for Nothing: After dedicating her life to looking after her extended family, she ended up killing them all in a single night. She even notes that her house, which she was planning to give to her nephews and nieces, is likely to be seized by the government after she dies.
Ax-Crazy: An extremely tragic case, but upon turning she falls into a hunger frenzy and butchers everyone present, including her relatives. Needless to say, she's utterly heartbroken upon regaining her sanity and realising what she did.
Blood-Splattered Innocents: She and her living room are covered in blood, having murdered her entire family in the throes of a vampiric frenzy during her first moments of unlife.
Didn't See That Coming: Neither the old lady nor her vampire caretaker expected her to go into a blood-feasting frenzy the moment she awoken to her newly vampirised state. It ended tragically for everyone involved.
Old Lady: She brought me into her way of life, but I don't think she was ready for what came next. I don't think anyone could have predicted this, least of all me.
Driven to Suicide: She makes no attempt to stop Big-D from euthanising her and in fact went along with it out of guilt and regret for slaughtering her loved ones in a feral blood-frenzy.
Emergency Transformation: Hinted to be the cause of everything — The old woman was on her deathbed, lamenting her life's regrets, and her vampire caretaker decided to embrace her instead.
Old Lady: It was my caretaker. I loved that girl like a daughter, dainty young thing. I don't know why she did it; or maybe I do.
Evil Is Not a Toy: Of a sort. Based on her words, it's implied that her sire — her caretaker — was among her victims during her feral rampage.
Face Death with Dignity: Having lost everything by her own fangs following her vampirification, she quietly allowed herself to be incinerated by sunlight with a sympathetic Big D's help, merely hoping that a peaceful afterlife awaits her and wishing only that she 'died yesterday'.
Family Extermination: In the throes of a newborn frenzy, the old woman butchered her nephews, nieces and (its implied) all of their children, terminating her deceased brother's bloodline on top of never having any children of her own. She laments that, with no-one left to inherit it, the house she planned to leave to her extended family will be seized by the government.
I Hate You, Vampire Dad: Averted. While her caretaker's decision to embrace her led to the old woman slaughtering her family in a feral state, she doesn't appear to bear any ill will to the vampire, acknowledging that her friend probably had honorable (if misguided) intentions and couldn't have known how badly it would turn out. That the caretaker is implied to also be among the dead likely softens her perspective with the added grief.
Last Words: Extremely heartbreaking ones.
Old Lady: I hope in death, I shall be thankful that I once lived. I only wish I had died yesterday.
Maiden Aunt: The love of her youth ended up with someone else, and she never married. She claims to have contented herself with supporting her nephews and nieces, followed by their children; though she laments that she never truly looked after herself in all that time.
My God, What Have I Done?: Slaughtering her family and caretaker/sire in a feral rampage following her transformation into a vampire left her utterly broken and despondant when she finally snapped out of it.
Power Born of Madness: In her blood frenzy, she is implied to have overpowered and killed even her own sire.
Suicide by Sunlight: After sharing her story, she politely asks D to help her outside, and they sit together on a park bench until the sun rises.
Unwitting Instigator of Doom: In her twilight years, she voiced her regret to her caretaker that having spent her entire life caring for her relatives, she never had a chance to care for herself and her desires and needs. Said caretaker, a vampire, felt sorry for her and decided to embrace the old lady on her deathbed, believing that with eternal vampiric unlife she would finally have time to 'live' - leading to the tragedy that followed when the old lady couldn't control her initial bloodlust.
Warm Bloodbags Are Everywhere: Her story illustrates that the vampire need for blood is not voluntary — newborn vampires usually enter a frenzied, psychotic state until they satisfy their initial cravings, and tragically the nearest warm bodies belonged to the relatives who had gathered to witness an old woman's dying days. It's implied that she also killed her sire in the ensuing chaos, unable to differentiate between victims while feral.

The Blue Man

Voiced By: Earndil

A strange, zombie-like man with blue skin encountered in a "99 Pound" store deep underground.

Ambiguous Situation: What exactly he is, what his goals are, what's going on with the underground 99p store, whether he is the "executive officer" wearing a disguise or if he transforms due to being somehow possessed by them... nothing about this guy is really made clear.
Creepy Monotone: Uses a microphone to speak through the store's intercom system in a flat monotone.
Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": He identifies himself as "The Blue Man."
Humanoid Abomination: It's clear that there's something deeply unnatural about him. When he shapeshifts into the "chief executive", he becomes something "slender" and "graceful" with a Nightmare Face, and Big D recoils in utter horror as the Blue Man "[laughs at the ignorance of man]" and completes the transaction for the blender.
Mathematician's Answer: When asked if "the Blue Man" is a name or a title, he simply answers that "it is."
Mundane Horror: He appears to be the cashier of a 99p store... Except the store is located far underground, the cashier is a zombie with blue skin (and a Humanoid Abomination), and everything is actually priced at 99 pounds. And apparently he processes the transaction without actually charging anything.
Or Was It a Dream?: It initially seems like the whole encounter was a dream brought about by a concussion, until Big D realizes he's holding the expensive blender from the underground store. Even Polydora and Giles are perplexed by this, especially since Polydora's call to the Regent says that Big D hit some kind of ward/barrier but was repelled by it.
Slasher Smile: The first thing about his body that changes when he transforms into the "chief executive" is that he suddenly has a massive, grotesque grin stretching from ear to ear.
The Spook: Who, where, and what he is go completely unexplained.
Surreal Horror: The entire interaction with him is incredibly bizarre, seeming like something out of a twisted nightmare ( which it admittedly kind of was). He's obviously inhuman but doesn't match the description of any supernatural Big D knows of, he resides in a completely inexplicable 99p store located inside an abandoned mine, he seems to only be able to speak over the intercom, and he keeps alternating between generic supermarket terminology and blatantly cryptic riddles about "growth."

The Advertiser

Voiced by: Alfabusa

"Hey, what's up guys, it's me, back at it again to advertise to YOU." (in a very emphasized Swedish accent.)

A Swedish man who continuously breaks into a Miami-based family radio station to torment the host while advertising tabletop game stores. He makes his appearances during Big-D's "RAAAAAAAAAAADIO TIME!" at the start of audio-logs.

Bad Boss: As to be expected by a Pentex employee, he makes DJ Wormwood's life hell, verbally and physically abusing him while he advertises and keeping him from complaining too much at gunpoint.
Cloudcuckoolander: His first question after making his introduction is to ask DJ Wormwood "what year is it?" He also fails to understand the places he advertises, despite being local game stores local to their own regions, still aren't local to Miami.
Comically Missing the Point: DJ Wormwood points out that the Miami-based radio station was seeking local sponsorship. The Advertiser points out that these are local game stores... not understanding that they still aren't anywhere near local to Miami- one is located in Sweden, the other in the US state of Wisconsin.
Disproportionate Retribution: If you are in Sweden and don't buy from the game shop in that country he is currently advertising, he will send hitmen after you.
The Dreaded: The moment DJ Wormwood figures out who is trying to barge in during their second appearance, he has a panic attack and reassures himself that The Advertiser can't get in if he just keeps the door closed and on guard. He's wrong.
Establishing Character Moment: The first thing he does is kick DJ Wormwood in the solar plexus, and then states that he's here to advertise.
Evil, Inc.: He claims to be working for Pentex.
Pet the Dog: Done while punting the dog that is DJ Wormwood, but his first advertisement is for a Swedish hobby shop called HobbyShopen that he has genuine fondness for while praising the owners as being nice people in general. Unusually for Pentex, he does it for free.
Real Life Writes the Plot: Due to financial issues Alfabusa had to make the decision to integrate sponsorships into the audio-logs (though the first one, Alfabusa did for free to "pay it back" to his local game store that was hugely important in his journey.) Thus, the Advertiser advertising local game stores.

Characters / Hunter: The Parenting

Allies