Kenneth Donnelly: Aye, but in the right hands it can taste like mighty fine ass.
Haggis is a Scottish dish prepared using a sheep stomach, oatmeal, suet, and some crazy things that you might not think would go well together in a dish.
In fiction, haggis is often viewed as disgusting, in which case no characters will eat or touch it. Sometimes they might first ask whats in it, and look dismayed at the answer. Other times they might begin to eat it and spit it across the room in disgust upon finding out what's in it. Whatever the reason, it never seems like anybody wants to eat haggis besides the Scottish guy in a kilt. In fact, the United States FDA has banned traditional haggis from sale and import, as it includes livestock lung which is not considered "edible".
In reality, because the ingredients are ground up before being stuffed into the stomach, haggis is essentially a large mutton sausage with an unusually thick casing—remember that your garden variety sausage can contain some disgusting-sounding offal, and they don't generally tell you what it is. Moreover, modern store-bought haggis (i.e. most haggis) is made with a standard manufactured sausage casing (like you'd find on pretty much any mass-market British sausage), so basically a modern, mass-produced haggis is a short, thick mutton sausage with entirely known ingredients. People should find it more appealing than the bangers you get at the supermarket...
If you must know, haggis basically tastes like a cross between a hamburger and a sausage. And yes, it really is delicious. Laddie. Robert Burnsnote wrote a poem about it - Address to a Haggis - that is read, in full, as the Haggis is presented during a Burns Night supper — which consists of Haggis, naturally enough, accompanied by the traditional Neeps and Tatties.note
- In the Big Finish Doctor Who drama Echoes of Grey, Jamie and Zoë are bickering as they leave the TARDIS, following a Noodle Incident in which Zoë cut herself with Jamie's dirk while they were making haggis. She complains she never wanted to make it in the first place, saying "the ingredients seem positively barbaric".
- Adventures In The Rifle Brigade: The Piper, a mute and batshit-insane bagpipe player, lives in a well on the Darcy estate and is summoned by putting a haggis on a fishing line which is then lowered down the well.
- In one Oor Wullie strip in the Scottish Sunday Post, Wullie is sent to the butcher to get a haggis for Burns Night, despite insisting he'd rather have mince'n'tatties. He persuades the butcher to give him mince in a haggis skin instead.
- Shows up in Sherman's Lagoon when the Loch Ness monster visits.
Sherman: What's that?
Monster: Haggis! Sheep's insides stuffed in a sheep stomach, soaked in whisky and boiled to a rubbery lump.
Sherman: Sort of like a football?
Monster: Aye, but this one's for eating.
- Subverted in the Team Fortress 2 fanfic Eight Mercenaries and a Toddler, where the Medic tells the Administrator that the entire team got food poisoning from haggis. It was just to buy some ceasefire time.
- In Food for Thought, Dyson brings haggis to a potluck. No one is happy.
Kenzi: I meant bring normal people food, that normal people eat.
Dyson: Normal people eat haggis.
Kenzi: Not here they don't.
- Haggis is mentioned as one of the things Duncan McSmurf likes to eat in the Empath: The Luckiest Smurf story "The Smurf Impersonators", but Duncan simply has Sassette mention this to the other Smurfs just to hear their reactions. No word yet as to whether Duncan actually does eat haggis, or what it is even made of in the Smurf Village.
- Seen in the Pixar movie Brave, where the triplets seem to find their haggis disgusting. However, their mother Elinor eats it without a fuss and asks her children to at least try it, so it's not that the haggis is horrible but the triplets are Picky Eaters.
- As demonstrated in the Scooby-Doo movie Scooby-Doo! and the Loch Ness Monster, not even Shaggy and Scooby will touch haggis. This is from a man with a palate for sandwiches taller than he is, and a dog who eats what are essentially milkbones.
- Ramirez in Highlander. Connor MacLeod calls him a haggis, and he asks what it is. It's especially funny since Sean Connery, who plays Ramirez, is Scottish, and Christopher Lambert, who plays Connor, isn't.
Ramirez: Haggis? What is haggis?
Macleod: Sheep's stomach, stuffed with meat and barley!
Ramirez: And... what do you do with it?
Macleod: Heh! You eat it!
Ramirez: (bridling) How revolting!
- Casino Royale (1967) has Sir James Bond at M's wake — the enemy agent posing as his widow details the preparation of the haggis traditionally made for the occasion; James incredulously gulps "and...eat it?"note
- In Mike Myers' So I Married an Axe Murderer, it comes up in discussion at the butcher's shop. Mike calmly agrees it's revolting and notes that "All Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."
- In Armageddon, Max says this is his favorite dish. The NASA doctor gets visibly queasy as he describes it.
Max: Heart, lungs, liver. You shove that all in a sheep's stomach, than you boil it. That'll put some hair on your ass!
- In Harry Potter, when the ¡Three Amigos! go to Nick's deathday party, there is a bunch of rotten food, and it includes haggis. Though actually, all of the food is rotten, and none of the three wants to eat any of it.
- Used in one of the Outlander books. The (very British) John Grey writes home about haggis with some alarm.
- There's a brief mention in Mako that the group's Scottish member Hamish got his friends to try haggis once. Once.
- In Downbelow Station, one character knows nothing about haggis beyond that it's supposed to be terrifying and thinks that it's actually some sort of ancient Earth weapon until he's informed that it's really just a sausage (he'd mistaken a set of bagpipes for haggis).
- Averted in Mr. Men in Scotland, which explains that a haggis is just a big sausage, and Miss Greedy eats a whole one.
- In a Recurring Sketch on Saturday Night Live, Mike Myers plays the proprietor of an "All Things Scottish" store in New York City. His Catch-Phrase is "If its not Scottish, it's crap!" But not even he likes haggis.
- Good Eats: In an episode devoted to oatmeal, Alton Brown demonstrates how to make haggis, dressed like a fourth-string extra on Braveheart, hacking up entrails with a sword and punctuating his instructions with "...or I'll give ye the back o' my hand!" In an interview, Alton said that haggis was the only food that he has prepared on his show that he would never actually eat.
- Subverted in Home Improvement where Wilson makes it for his new girlfriend. Tim is a little turned off by the description, but then says it smells pretty good.
- On a champions-return episode of Chopped, the only contestants who aren't repulsed to see canned haggis in their ingredient baskets are a fellow whose mother'd cooked Scottish dishes at home, and a French-born chef who doesn't even know what it is.
- John Oliver on Last Week Tonight feigns love for haggis while trying to woo Scotland back to remaining part of the United Kingdom in his segment talking about the Scottish independence referendum.
- Daphne from Frasier once scared the rest of the family out of the house (so she could have a date over) by loudly announcing she was going to cook haggis and sheep's head stew for dinner.
- In the Duck Dynasty episode where they visit Scotland, the meal at the end of the episode includes haggis. Even the Robertsons (who have grown up eating wild game of all sorts, and in a later episode eat nutria rat sausage) aren't sure about the haggis, but John Godwin decides to take a chance on it.
- In the play Money Talks, a Running Gag in the second act is various characters attempting to get rid of the haggis the Scottish banker leaves behind.
- The aptly-named "Horrid Haggis" from The Trash Pack. He's portrayed as an inside-out organ spewing out meat from his mouth. He's also useful as a makeshift set of bagpipes, as his trading card presents...save for the meat-spewing problem.
- Mass Effect 2 has a conversation between Normandy crewmen Gabby Daniels and Ken Donnelly on this subject if Shepard buys equipment and ingredients for Normandy's galley. Donnelly, true Scotsman that he is, apparently quite likes it.
- The Bard's Tale takes it to a whole other level, featuring a haggis monster boss.
- Inverted with the dwarves of Ironforge in World of Warcraft, who love the stuff. (One daily Cooking quest involves finding ingredients for it, and another involves distributing it to the guards.) Of course, their accents do suggest that they're the fantasy equivalent of Scots.
- Kingdom of Loathing somewhat subverts this with the Think Nerd items. Spoofing Think Geek and various geeky items, haggis is very much enjoyed. In fact, one of the jokes is that all the references to haggis in the products are actually a mirror to the numerous bacon products in geek culture and beyond.
- Averted in Freefall, when Florence wishes someone would produce a microwavable haggis. Granted, she's a sentient wolf recovering from a serious injury and needing the nutrients in organ meats, but she still seems to think haggis would be good even under normal conditions.
- In Pocket Princesses, while Merida is proud of haggis, Tiana is a lot more dubious about cooking pudding that includes stuff like sheep's lungs.
- Johnny Bravo in an episode where Johnny goes to Scotland, he gets chased by the Loch Ness Monster because it wants his haggis. He gets it in the end, but after a William Wallace Expy tells him what's in it he gladly gives it to the Monster, earning its friendship. However, the trope is still downplayed because Johnny was actually enjoying the haggis until after he's told what's in it.
- In an episode of Samurai Jack, Jack visits The Scotsman's home town, and is presented with a feast of haggis. Jack promptly exclaims "Eww!" and holds his nose due to the smell from it before asking what it is and getting told "a sheep's stomach filled with meat and barley".
- In The Simpsons, Groundskeeper Willie tries to sell haggis at the school fair and makes the mistake of describing the ingredients and saying "Tastes as good as it sounds"
- Peter Puppy's hatred of haggis is a Running Gag on the Earthworm Jim series.
- Used in an episode of ProStars, and combined with I Ate WHAT?!.
- Used in an episode of The Weekenders, where Lor tries to get her friends to try haggis. Tino makes the mistake of asking what it is.
Lor: If I told you, you'd never eat it. Actually, you might not eat anything. Ever again.
- Averted on Phineas and Ferb, where Phineas briefly mentions that Ferb loves haggis.
- Subverted in an episode of the The Ren & Stimpy Show, where the main duo were willing, even eager to eat haggis with a Scotsman they meet. Unfortunately, the Scotsman gets angry because they didn't put chutney in his.
- In the episode of Rugrats "The Clan of the Duck", Chuckie and Phil decide to try wearing skirts. When they are taken to a culture festival at the park, they are mistaken for girls by two older boys, who then decide to chase them and beat them up when the ruse is revealed. They are then saved by a clan of Scotsbabies who believe them to be fellow Scotsbabies from the Clan of the Duck (because the skirts had duck pictures. After all was said and done, they played together (along with Tommy and Lil who came in later) and shared Haggis. The twins actually like it even when they get told it's made from "Sheep guts!"
- One episode of Kim Possible had Ron being forced to eat Duff Killigan's haggis after insulting it. Oddly, it's depicted as a kind of bubbling stew instead of a sausage.