Funny / A Knight's Tale as Inquisitor

Chapter 4:

• Arturia's reaction to Cassandra's Rousing Speech from canon as she declares the Inquisition's independence from the Chantry in front of Chancellor Roderick? How attractive her passion is...and then denying to herself that there is anything more than that.
• The end reveals that Excalibur is now alive thanks to the Mark..but with the personality of the Soul Eater incarnation. Everyone who is familiar with that version knows what's to come.

Chapter 5:

• What's the first thing Arturia does when met with the new development of her sword being given life? Stuff inside a barrel and then dangle it out of the nearest window.
  Excalibur: Wait wait wait! I am telling you the truth! Honestly girl, have your senses lost you when you were summoned here?!
  Arturia (with no apparent facial expression): Perhaps. I am, after all, hearing from 'my sword' and currently in the illusion of speaking to it. I must still be very weary from using the Mark to stop the Breach's expansion...
• When having to deal with the threat of the Inquisition being removed from Haven because of the Marquis, Josephine, with some quick thinking manages to get him to backdown by proposing a duel with Arturia to decide what happens, with the latter agreeing wholeheartedly and begins discussing with the former about how will things go down in this duel, which the Marquis practically shitting himself at the very idea of fighting the Hearld of Andraste and decides it'd be best to leave things as is. And then this happens:
  Josephine: I must say, you were rather good. I could not have given a more convincing mask to scare him off like that.
  Arturia: ...You were bluffing.
  Josephine: ...You were not?
  • After the above exchange induces an I Have Nothing to Say to That, Arturia decides she needs to go before things get anymore embarrassing on her part!
• Arturia and Cullen talk for the first time. A paused interruption occurs at its finest at the beginning of their conversation.
• After having a talk with Arturia that gives him alot of insight to who she is, Varric finally decides on what to call the King of Knights: Pancakes.

Chapter 7:

• The opens with Excalibur sing his Signature Song and his wielder's subsequent reaction. The following conversation is equally as priceless:
  Excalibur: And why on earth would I do that? Using harmony through vocalization is the best way to wake yourself up early in the day! And I should know since I am, after all, far more ancient than most could comprehend.
  Arturia: Really now? But tell me this o-so ancient one: have you even considered your ritual of waking yourself could have attracted any attention? For all you know, people could be coming right towards the source of that noise! Looking for you!
  Excalibur: You mean like how the others could be looking for you?
  Arturia: ...I detest how accurate your point is.
  Excalibur: Ha! Victory for Excalibur!
  *Cue Cross-Popping Veins*
• Apparently, Varric got an front row seat to the dear Herald's attempts at socializing...which includes the weather (now including the giant Hell Gate in the sky), then goes on an an extremely detailed time talking about armor and swords, after which she talks about how much of a nuisance horse shit is, followed by talking about not liking an ocean...despite said waters being far away from the Hinterlands. Bonus points for the poor man subject to this "conversation" doing everything he can to not fuck up with anything he says.
• Why did Arturia never bother cooking in her era despite displaying more than sufficient skills? She HATES sharing food. She even has thoughts of invoking the death penalty for those who take her food!

Chapter 8:

• What was Arturia's to the the whole Ritts situation? Why, pretend she didn't see that and let Ritts continue to be with the Inquisition of course! Why should she let such talent go to waste over a little incident?
  Arturia: I find it fascinating that this actually happened, how in the midst of the war, such, er...''bond'', yes, we shall be going with that, could actually be forged.
• Excalibur has decided to take it upon himself to organize Arturia's food diet...even though he's just an sword and doesn't eat at all. Even better, is Arturia's reaction to when he states his intention to not have any gravy to go with her roasted turkey.
  Arturia: What madness has consumed you to ever put such blasphemy in my mind?!

Chapter 9:

• At the end of their first training lesson, Solas sends Arturia to Aden to begin learning how alchemy works in order to get a better grasp on how the inner workings of magic works. However, he warns her not get herself blown up because of simple curiosity.
  Solas: Then where exactly would all my own effort have gone to?
  Arturia (internally): ...Arse.

Chapter 10:

• What is Excalibur's reaction towards witnessing Val Royeaux for the first time? Seen It All.
• Excalibur giving an Evil Laugh after witnessing one of the Templars punch out Revered Mother Hevara.
• Sera meets Arturia for the first time, and what's the very first thing she has to say to the latter?
  Sera: You're a tiny thing, aren't you?
  • Even better, is that Solas of all people has to suppress a laugh at that line.
    Varric: Chuckles! I'm surprised at you!
    Solas: I've no idea what you're referring to.
  • And as all of this happening, Arturia is standing there looking PISSED as all hell!
• Like in canon, the Marquis Alphonse talks complete horse shit about the Inquisition, and Arturia, being who she is accepts his challenge. The end result? A Curb-Stomp Battle so one-sided that it LITERALLY leaves the Marquis pants-less! And who says our dear Sir Pendragon doesn't have a sense of humor?

Chapter 11:

• Josephine throwing a big bag full of letters at Arturia all written for her after she returns from Val Royeaux, causing her to fall flat onto the floor...and going through the rest of that meeting from that position.
• Arturia's first conversation with Sera at Haven goes ends with Sera Blowing a Raspberry before mocking Arturia's way of talking to others, secretly making plans to help make Arturia loosen up, and calling her "Turi" before leaving.
  • After that last part, Arturia very much decides she can do without people nicknaming her.
    Varric (after sneezing and causing his papers to scatter): Well isn't this just great?! This is what happens when someone talks about me behind back!

Chapter 12:

• Excalibur has an list of demands for renovations on Haven...which stands at about one-thousand. When he begins to recite each and every one of them, Arturia chooses to Just Ignore It.
• Sera's reaction towards Arturia when she speaks Elvish:
  Sera: Ugh! No! Not you too! Doesn't anyone know what words are? Hey, short stuff! How long are you gonna keep speaking elfy with baldie over there?
  Arturia: I'm not quite sure. It depends actually: how long are you going keep up with the short jokes at my expense?
  Beat
  Aruria: That's what I thought.

Chapter 13:

• Josephine and Vivienne's first talk with each other, which is filled with veiled insults and honeyed words.
  • And then there's Cullen's reaction when Josephine leaves him with Vivienne:
    Cullen (internally): Maker help me...

Chapter 14:

• After the siege of the fortress and while giving orders for how to proceed with clean up, Arturia warns Harding to tell the soldiers to be careful of the after effects of traps Sera had set. Cue said elf cartwheeling while commenting, "The fun's in the surprises!"
• During an meaningful and introspective conversation about Arturia and her past between the former and Cassandra, Sera interrupts in order to reveal that she's managed to convince the Inquisition soldiers to let her up the flags of the organization before dragging Arturia with her to do so.
  Sera: I need someone as small as you to stand on my hands to put up the flag on the pole! It's gonna be fun and really hilarious!

Chapter 16:

• Arturia accidentally blowing up smoke in the apothecary due to mixing together incompatible ingredients
  Sera: O-Okay! So...now we know! That we definitely DON'T mix the powder with that fire tonic...and add in a little pinch of pepper just to see what happens. Good effort though, Turi!
• There's also this following conversation, which caused Arturia's Oh, Crap! face to grow more and more as it goes on:
  Aden: You know, maybe we should focus on reading through the recipes instead, do some minor assignments, pick out and name which ingredient is which, and if you so happen to make another minuscule mistake Herald, then a repercussion is in order.
  Sera: Oh? Now that's really interesting! What do we give? Sitting on a block of butter? Feet inside a bucket of ice?" A sudden loud gasp at the most enrapturing idea. Strip teases? Wait, wait even better! Running across Haven in nothing but your breeches!
  Aden: I wouldn't go that far, though that butter and ice suggestion does sound appealing.
  Sera: Why just stick to ice and butter? Let's put in something alive.
  Aden: You know I have a friend who's raising a rare breed of toothless rats. Those critters loves to teethe on people's toes.
  Sera: Gross! And awesome! I actually know someone who could lend us her pet lizard that likes to crawl around under people's shirts and trousers!

Chapter 18:

• Cullen's reaction to Arturia managing to recruit an Avvar tribesman as an Inquisition agent. Leliana's reaction is to just shrug, not surprised at this point.

Chapter 19:

• The scene where Arturia has cooked food for Sera and Vivienne, knowing how good she is, and being the smuggest little shit about it. She even wipes the mess on Sera's face without skipping a beat!

Chapter 22:

• The group that is gathered to recruit the Templars to help seal the Breach makes sense(Arturia - Hearld of Andraste, Cassandra - Seeker of Truth and Right Hand of Divine Justina, Vivienne - First Enchanter and leader of the Loyalist Mages, Cullen - former member of the Templar Order)...until you reach Sera. Then comes The Reveal: she accidentally egged Leliana and is now running away from away from Haven until things cooldown.
  Sera: ...S'not my fault. Stupid worker pointed the wrong building.
  • It's even better when Arturia describes the moment she realized who was responsible for the prank:
    Arturia: Well, it just so happens that I was around when Leliana came to me, who asked me if I happened to take note of anyone familiar in the area, all while she appeared to have some yolk on her face and a stench of puke - so to speak. It also just so happened that I saw a certain blonde elven archer hiding behind some craters and muttering some clear regrets. Of course, I didn't put two-to-two together until after our spymaster left with vengeful purpose in her stomping, a wrathful warbird hunting for her prey is how I would best describe it. Then, as if by fate itself, Sera soon after came to me, suddenly quite eager to join in on our negotiation venture, practically begging actually for some reason...

Chapter 26:

• While their infiltrating Redcliffe Castle, Harding reveals to Dorian that Leliana commanded all of her men to avoid harming any nugs on sight.
  Dorian: I suppose there is a human being somewhere in there, underneath all that cloak and dagger after all.

Chapter 27:

• After he reveals that they have traveled back in time, cannot help but mention that the wine of this era is WAY better than anything in the modern day.
• While Arturia and Dorian are having a little night talk while drinking wine, when the latter mentions the idea of the former admiring Cassandra for her looks, Arturia chokes on her wine.

Chapter 29:

• Dorian deciding to make Arturia a bag full of various wine bottles that can't be found in the modern day when they return home.
  Arturia: Didn't you argue about the fragility of time? And how one should be careful not to change so much in the past?
  Dorian: Oh yes. How careless of me! To think that I nearly caused our future to implode by bringing in wine bottles! You never know. A mage could have decided to drink this, be so inspired by it, he solved world hunger!

Chapter 32:

• Arturia getting into a drinking contest with the Iron Bull and Blackwall and winning while the former two end up barfing. She gets into another contest that involves having to drink strange and random stuff depending on what you hit with a dart, with Arturia avoiding the more rotten stuff due to her B-ranked Luck.
• How does Arturia respond to Cassandra and the rest of her companions wanting to go out there to delay the Elder One and their forces? Knock her out before all but stating that she'll do the same to the rest if need be. It works.
  Dorian: ...I'd say that right hook alone might be enough to take the Elder One by surprise.

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