All spoilers are unmarked.
- Since the revival started, they have riffed terrible fanfiction, ranging from mediocre to irredeemably horrific, on a constant weekly basis. For five years.
- SC276 is a particular brand of Determinator. From the beginning of the project in mid-2015 to the end of 2017, at the rate of four riffs a month, he has only missed one week and failed to finish twice.
Riff-SpecificCommunity Shuffle #4
- The fics chosen for this shuffle didn't have a theme to them like many others do. SC276 found one anyway and used it as the basis of the longest ending rant by a single riffer in the entire project.
My Brave Pony Starfleet Humans: Starpops
- Through logic and established facts of the story - like how the Demonites could be defeated with just Equestrian magic, how it was Lightning Dawn's idea to hold off on direct action and thus allowing the villains to finish stage one unhindered, and how Grandruler would have been in no danger of dying in space without Lightning to deflect a fireball at the satellite Grandruler was working on - SC276 manages to prove that the whole story would have turned out a lot better for everyone involved had Lightning Dawn never returned to Earth.
- In a warped way, the fact that the story finally got riffed.
10/15 Poll Winner (actually SONIC.EXE)
- In an evil sense, you have Ring tricking the other riffers into thinking "Caveat Lector" won the poll.
Past Sins Original Edit
- From Part 1:
- Sometimes jokes need to be thought out:"Casual day-wear? Now that is a request I don't get too often.["]Mononeko: "Mostly because we don't wear clothes."Dark Angel: Why would a dressmaker even live in a nudist colony anyway? Wouldn't that be like a KKK member living in Africa?
- Sometimes jokes need to be thought out:
- From Part 2:
- Granted, this is concerning a version of the character from before he was properly introduced in Season 2, but here is how some of the riffers reacted to Filthy Rich during his fight with Twilight:"Who do you think you are, threatening my family like this? I am a respected member of this community!"Crazy56U: You own a supermarket, are deathly afraid of an elderly pony, and have a child abusing piece of shit wife. Shut up.SC276: Yeah, I only have something resembling respect - that is, not intense loathing - for DT's real dad.ToonGuy: Go fuck yourself, Filthy Rich.
- Granted, this is concerning a version of the character from before he was properly introduced in Season 2, but here is how some of the riffers reacted to Filthy Rich during his fight with Twilight:
- From Part 5:
- After it was hyped up for most of the multiparter, we finally got to Chapter 10, the chapter where Celestia tells Twilight that Nyx would be dispelled if she turned out to be Nightmare Moon. Crazy56U responds with a rant that blows his previous one out of the water:["]She will be dispelled and the lingering energy purified."Crazy56U: Annnnnd there it is. That is, bar none, the absolute bottom of the barrel for this draft. Paranoid or not, paint induced stupidity / being a robot or not, being played like a cheap fiddle by Epic Failure or not, there is no fucking way Celestia would willingly decide to fucking kill a child, especially one who is Twilight's child. This is disgusting, horrid mischaracterization, plain and simple. "But it's killing one to save millions, dipshit, I see no problem there-" Well, guess what, murder is not the only fucking option! You can argue with me about this until the fucking cows come home, Celestia is in the fucking wrong here. And I especially take real great pride in the fact that, in rewriting this fic, Pen decided to have Celestia have a fucking soul and decide against murder. But that is a better version of this story. One which we are not riffing (and has a different chapter be the absolute worst one; chapter 16, it involves mind control and lynching). All in all, (pulls out a tape recorder) to sum up: (hits "Play")
- It is later followed up by a less restrained one when Luna takes Celestia to task over her actions and Celestia, true to form, refuses to admit they were stupid:["]Nightmare Moon is a threat to this kingdom, to me, and to you. I have to consider what is best for all of Equestria,["]Crazy56U: Which includes locking out your sister, blindly following an obvious cult leader willy-nilly, fucking stealing your students kid, telling her to her face that said kid MAY BE MURDERED THAT NIGHT, and having the fucking gall to act surprised when everything that could go wrong did! I am really fucking livid right now and if it wasn't for the fact that I want to see this through to the end and that Ring hates it when we announce we are leaving, I WOULD FUCKING BAILSC276: Anyone else miss every season after the first?
- As a testament to his determination, in this part and part 6, he is one of the few who actually makes it all the way through to the end.
- After it was hyped up for most of the multiparter, we finally got to Chapter 10, the chapter where Celestia tells Twilight that Nyx would be dispelled if she turned out to be Nightmare Moon. Crazy56U responds with a rant that blows his previous one out of the water:
Snow days are forever
- The riffers (most notably Crazy56U, CaptainPipsqueak, Topher and SC276) coming up with more than 200 nicknames for the main character deserves a mention on this page.
Ponyville Love Story
- Mono decides to finally ask Crazy56U what his deal is with "Return of Harmony". His response?Crazy56U: Brainwashing, trauma, character bastardization for the sake of the lulz, being forced into a challenge that was rigged from the start, Discord being a fucking asshole, Fluttershy being a fucking asshole, Twilight being driven past the Despair Event Horizon to the point where she gave up and almost left, it just wasn't funny in the slightest, need I go on?
the rest of My Little Sonic Friendship is way past cool
- From Part 2
- After Dark Angel screws up a Running Gag for the second time:"Harmonic Sonic: All the yolk in his head must be fried. Fine by me here I come Eggy."Wise Person: Just a moment ago, he was just Sonic. I guess we don't need to know that hes now Harmonic Sonic. Because, yknow, TELEPATHY!Dark Angel: It was already established that he became Harmonica Sonic. *hears another ball drop*Mono: What did I tell you? *throws another ball in Angel's face*Dark Angel: *lights a ball on fire and stuffs it down Mono's throat* Who ever said there has to be a uniform term to use to refer to your balls?Mono: *calmly pulls the ball out of his throat* Crazy. *pulls out a tape recorder; hits "Play"*Crazy56U: (begins tearing up; applauds)
- After Dark Angel screws up a Running Gag for the second time:
- From Part 1:
- It's rather impressive how the story manages to get severely deconstructed purely by some of the riffers pointing out that the townsponies should already know that Diamond Tiara was behind the Gabby Gums incident, since A) it's confirmed that "Ponyville Confidential" happened in this story and B) so did the Crusader's confession letter."We don't care!" argued Goldengrape. "Because of them, our private lives are all gone forever."Crazy56U: Goldengrape unintentionally calling attention to the plot hole.Mono: ...You really think Mai Can gives a shit?Crazy56U: No, I'm saying Mai Can is stupid enough to keep unintentionally shooting himself in the foot.SC276: Maybe he can't feel the pain...
- The townsponies refusing to help find Apple Bloom is neatly deconstructed with one line:Crazy56U: When a child goes missing, even if they were being annoying to you, you do NOT decide to go "Fuck it, let them stay lost, too good for 'em I say!", you FUCKING CUNTS
- Although he admits doing so made his life worse, you have to give Crazy56U props for typing out the lyrics to the "Jealous" song from "Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys" by ear.
- He later repeats this trick during the latter half of the fic's big musical number in Part 2 with "California Lady".
- It's rather impressive how the story manages to get severely deconstructed purely by some of the riffers pointing out that the townsponies should already know that Diamond Tiara was behind the Gabby Gums incident, since A) it's confirmed that "Ponyville Confidential" happened in this story and B) so did the Crusader's confession letter.
- From Part 2/Finale:
- It is rather bluntly pointed out by several riffers, Crazy56U in particular, that Twilight demanding Applejack end her search for Apple Bloom after attacking someone in her grief-induced rage does not work at all in regards to the concept of a search party.I suggest you call off your search before anything else extreme happens.Crazy56U: Except no. That's not how that works. That is never how that works. You do not force a grieving relative to call off a search party, one that is still looking for a missing child, just because said relative went mental out of grief. And Twilight of all ponies should be the one to fucking realize that. I am seriously fucking concerned for Mai Can's mental state if he thinks this is how search parties work in real life. Poor fucker must be so goddamn sheltered that he hasn't stepped foot outside since he was born...Nox: You want extreme, how 'bout a little filly who winds up dead right outside of town because no one was out searching because Miss "Lavender Unicorn" decided the search would prevent her from coming home! And even if she was farther out of town, then how would a search party she doesn't know exists prevent her from coming home?
- Crazy56U and Mono manage to create a pair of coherent sentencesnote purely by namedropping Tears for Fears songs back to back.
- It is rather bluntly pointed out by several riffers, Crazy56U in particular, that Twilight demanding Applejack end her search for Apple Bloom after attacking someone in her grief-induced rage does not work at all in regards to the concept of a search party.
From One World to Another
- From Part 2:
- Topher's parody of "What's This." All of it.
Mighty Morphin Kaiju Rangers: An EQG Crossover
- From Part 3:
- Topher's alliterative outburst, spanning the entire alphabet.
Equestria chronicles : the lesson of a human adaptation
- At the conclusion of both this riff and the Multipart Blitz as a whole, SC276 manages to deduce how every fic in the Blitz is connected to every other fic in the Blitz, as illustrated in his diagram being a wheel.SC276: This wasn't just a mere daisy-chain where consecutive fics have a common shit element to them. No, as I realized, this is a fucking wheel with this fic as the spoke, combining all the shit from these stories into one ball of horrible barely-legible travesty of a character array. Worst part is I know Ring didn't plan it this way because he was as surprised by Sombra being Dinky's dad in "From One World to Another" as we were, which means he didn't read them all through and so couldnt order it like this. This is a purely organic arrangement born from each independent author thinking they're being original with the same ideas, like how swarms only appear to have collective intelligence when it's really each unit working entirely on its own.
- He even admits that he could've gone deeper, but the Blitz as a whole doesn't deserve anymore thought put into it.
My Little Unicorn: Magic is Believing
- From Part 1:
- Mono's parody of the Red Lantern oath.He held the rod up high as it began to glow, and he recited the phrase engraved on the rod...Mono: "With blood and rage of crimson red
- Made by a bitch who's not well readTogether with my hellish hateIll bore you all, that is your fate."
- Mono's parody of the Red Lantern oath.
- From Part 2:
The gang headed outside, and noticed the clouds were getting darker, and thunder and lightning began to strike.SC276: ~Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightning me!~Topher: ~GALILEO!~CaptainPipsqueak: ~GALILEO!~Legendbringer: ~GALILEO!~SC276: ~GALILEO FIGARO!~ThatUnknownPony: ~MAGNIFICOOO-OO-OOO!~CaptainPipsqueak: ~Mykans a sad boy: Nobody loves me/Hes a crappy author as we can all see/Please spare us all from this monstrosity!~
- The riffers try using the magic of song to cope with the story:
- Topher follows his "What's This?" parody with his own Major General Song.
- From Part 6:
- SC276 effectively sends off his interpretation of Titan with his own massive Motive Rant and exposition detailing how he's destroyed or taken everything Grand Ruler's cared about, including Celestia's reveal that Grand Ruler only became Captain of the Guard in his backstory because she paid the judges off. Crazy56U actually gives him a "You Win Forever" award for it.
The First 24 Chapters of Living the Dream
- From Part 2:
- When the brony-turned-beagle OC is given a more dog appropriate name, Crazy56U full on breaks. Why? The dog is renamed "Louie". The name of his sister's dog.SC276: I have two feelings. 1) My sincerest condolences; and 2) how did your sister's dog break through the fourth wall?Crazy56U: (still holding back anger) ... ... ...just going to let that last bit slide... ...all I know, all I really know at this present time, is that I do not give a fuck when this was written. Not one iota of a fuck given, none in the slightest. All I know is this much, this one little detail... (clenches fist) The Author... has... no... fucking right... to ASSOCIATE... MY SISTER'S DOG... WITH THIS... FUCKING... HUMAN TURNED ANIMAL OC BULLSHIT! FUCK YOU AND [REDACTED] YOU FUCKING RETARDED CUNTWAFFLE! FUCK OFF AND DIE!
- When the brony-turned-beagle OC is given a more dog appropriate name, Crazy56U full on breaks. Why? The dog is renamed "Louie". The name of his sister's dog.
Ring's Birthday Special #2 (Around The Bend)
- SC276's ending rant consists of a solid five-point dressing-down of how Chatoyance's explanation for the tech differences in the show makes no sense, neither with the show or even with itself, and how bullshit its origin is.
My Immortal (actually Handbook for Mortals)
- The sheer balls of the editors in riffing a published novel. And finishing and releasing the results in the form of recaps that are legally permissible.
Obscure Crossover Shuffle #3
- Crazy56U, SC276 and PanzerThiefZero's performance of Meat Loaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Light". All of it.
Friendship is Failure Double Feature
- No one was willing to put up with Mykan gloating over what amounts to penning two terribly written Deconstruction Fics, as the end of the riff attests:That was far too easy. Heh-Heh!Crazy56U: You say that as if you accomplished something here. Why do you think you accomplished something here? You wrote two crap "reality ensuing" fanfics, and you think you're King Cock of the Ant-Bronies? So fucking what? The exact amount of crap I give about you and your fucking annoying ass opinions at this stage is one nullion; since I doubt you know what "Cyanide and Happiness" is, it means I do not fucking care at all. You ain't the first person to white this type of fanfic, dickhead. There are people who have written similar fanfics that, while still shit, are better than yours. But then again, that ain't a fucking hard feat to accomplish there. You're like a fucking child proudly boasting how they called someone a stupid head. That is severely fucking pathetic, dude, plain and simple. As Ben Folds will kindly remind you, there is always someone cooler than you. I'd tell you to fucking stop writing, but just like how you're not the first person to write this kind of fanfic, I ain't the first person to tell you to give up on fanfiction, so, well, here we are. And of course it was "far too easy". All you had to do was fucking project your opinions onto the show, this is shit you already do! Jesus fucking Christ, we get it. You hate "Friendship is Magic". You hate the lessons it delivers. You think it's trash, despite the fact that you clearly are still watching it. We get it. Shut up. My God, I detest you so goddamn much you fucking failed abortion.ThatUnknownPony: Horrible derailment from canon aside, the second fic is just like MLU: a horrible mess with a potential to be good in hands of anyone other than Mykan. It's just another example of how Mykan looks at the canon characters as one-dimensional cartoons with no depth or background, and forgets their virtues just so that he can easily mock them. As for the first story... Wow. Just... wow. I knew Mykan was a despicable and disgusting human being... but now you just confirmed how utterly evil and lonely you are: You actually believe friends are just there to boost your ego, that they can easily be used as tools just for your own happiness, and that your success depends on others agreeing your vision is perfect despite all the flaws in it, and claim theyre wronging you for pointing your flaws. You literally encapsulate everything wrong in the world right now, and after reading that, I no longer feel pity for you, Mykan. Just disgust, anger, and actual hatred towards all that your mentality stands for.PanzerThiefZero: What has been said about Mykan that hasn't been said already? He may not be the worst author I've ever known (trust me on that), but he is certainly one of the most insane. He wages a fruitless war against a children's TV show for spreading positivity, and tries to shoehorn his 'reality' to a bunch of technicolour equines by flat out warping canon characters into miscreants, and subsequently transforms the cast into strawmen for the author to easily defeat. It's utterly laughable at best and cringe inducing at worst. Especially after you realize his whole descent into madness started from a children's cartoon sinking a potential ship because the girl wanted the boy to grow a spine and move on with his life. It's pathetic, plain and simple.SC276: I don't have anything to say here. As Panzer said, it's Mykan; there's literally nothing new to say. For over five years, including the like two that this revived project has riffed him, he's dispensed nothing but the same five plots on infinite loop. Five hundred plays of "What's New Pussycat" without a single "It's Not Unusual." Let me demonstrate. I'm out of fucks to give, so let's jump straight to "Friendship is Failure #10." Not only is this fic a rewrite of something he previously wrote that made it worse - which is also nothing new for him as we are all well aware - but the most significant addition is that the NotMykan of that story rips Flurry Heart's head off. Now, let me be clear, this is an absolutely terrible aberrant thing to depict in any way. It was terrible enough that even the people that hated Flurry Heart hated it. But let's be honest: if Cadance hadn't miscarried from a fallen pillar or whatever shit happened to her in his other thing and Flurry Heart made it to that universe, Mykan would have had someone rip her head off there anyway. Because he hates Cadance for being in a relationship while his ships couldn't. Something we knew way back when, and that hasn't changed. Mykan has only succeeded in two things: failing to grow, and getting undue attention from the Internet. Even if he's not a troll, hes still living pretty much only on the karmic energy he builds up from his hatedom paying attention to him. For those reasons, Mykan is the Chris-Chan of this fandom. I am pretty much done with riffing the Moron barring landmark important riffs. He is no longer capable of surprising me. Fuck him and everything he stands for.
Rise of the Dark Queen
- Similar to the "Equestria chronicles" example above, Crazy56U mentions at the outset that this story is "practically a fucking macrocosm of every fic [he had] personally submitted", which he elaborates in greater detail when Discord reveals he faked his redemption:"Oh, yes I did!" sneered Discord triumphantly. "I faked it! All of it!Mono: GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, YOU FUCKWIT.Crazy56U: You see, the Cutie Bloom parallels were blatant from the start, but: mishandled flash forward intro along with characters crying (Sister Dash), Ponyville suffers from a fucking siege from giant monsters, meanwhile Twilight shits on someone's hopes and dreams (Moonlight, Moonlight, Let my Fangs Gleem Tonight), Fluttershy realizes her friends were being dickwaffles and drops them like a bad habit (The Conversion Bureau: The Price of Victory), a Nightmare Moon-eque figure factors into the plot in the stupidest goddamn way possible, and a character delivers an "epic" speech that's in actuality just vomited text (better season 5 end), the story is technically a crossover in the loose sense of the term while also having songs in it for no goddamn reason (The Siren Chronicles), it doesn't even try with the advertised crossover material (The Knight Rider of Equestria), the plot abruptly changes mid-story (Springtrapped), Rainbow Dash kicks off the plot by being a poorly written jackass and ultimately doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things (Mare Do Well: Fallout), and the "twist" involves a character faking their redemption for literally no goddamn reason (Duty or Friendship?). The blatant Men in Black plagiarism is what initially got my attention, but it was realizing how many connections to past riffs there were that made me double down on asking Ring have us do this.
The Brother's Adventure
- After one too many instances of the protagonist trying to abide by the plot of My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, SC276 decides to indulge himself a bit:"I doubt that with this evidence." She waved the photos at me.SC276: [Lightning Dawn Redux] "You mean the evidence that you're waving out in the open right now, and that I could snatch away and destroy at any moment?"[Sunset Shimmer] "But you won't. I got you figured out. You're an edgelord that's written by a superhero nut who is or has a sibling who is hyperfixated on Dishonored. They want to live out a fantasy where they do whatever they want and get whatever they want with no effort and no consequences, just like the big white palooka that was here before you who kept claiming he wasn't an alien, got all snuggy with the superintendent so Principal Celestia couldn't do shit to him, and dried himself off from a water bucket prank by pirouetting. I work for my power. I wasn't given everything by a guy that canonotically should be dead. And because I worked for it, I have the experience to know that people like you do not change the story. Despite all claims to the contrary, you are keeping the plot of this movie on its rails, just attaching booster rockets to it because you need to be the hero and don't care about how these characters' relationships are supposed to be developed. No doubt that in a minute you're just going to pull my ruse apart because I didn't accomodate for your bullshit superpowers in my plan, even though you keep showing them off - and that's all the evidence I need to know you won't take these photos. I didnt change my plans for you - because you have no real influence on anything. The only way you can foil my gambit is by fast-forwarding the way the plot was going to foil it in the first place. Your presence has not affected the plot in any way, because the writers of people like you do not understand the butterfly effect. So go ahead. Come and take them. I dare you.I roll my eyes."Sunset. I'm going to the office. But don't think anything's gonna change." I then smile. "I do know the future after all." I blink away to Luna's officeSC276: [Sunset Shimmer] "That's what I thought, you slave of the future. Moral victory: Sunset Shimmer."
- Then, later on, the protagonist tries to finally circumvent the plot by killing Sunset... even though we are now at the climax:"WE AREN'T PART OF THE MOVIE!Crazy56U: [Luigi] "THEREFORE WE CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT! HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN 'LAST ACTION HERO'?!"SO THERE ARE BOUND TO BE DIFFERENCES!!" I shouted at him.SC276: No. No. You don't get to pull that card in the last five minutes, where the author can make changes without having to keep track of anything or put any actual thought into it. Your very presence and hostile demeanor towards everything that remotely annoys you should have changed a lot more then just merely enabling your two Stus to be the actual guy heroes that save the lives of the face of girl power. Sunset Shimmer still has the moral victory.
- Then, later on, the protagonist tries to finally circumvent the plot by killing Sunset... even though we are now at the climax: