Follow TV Tropes

Following

Funny / Fanfic Theater 3015

Go To

As a disclaimer: if a folder tab has a spoiler tag in the name, there will be unmarked spoilers within.

    open/close all folders 

    General 
  • Whenever Equestria is painted as a paradise where nothing goes wrong, there's a good chance someone (probably Topher, its creator) brings out this list.
Advertisement:

    Pre-revival Riffs 

One-Shots and Shuffles

    Ten Minutes: Aftermath 
  • "[V]ials of the transforming serum known as 'potion', a purple, grape-flavored construct of human nanotechnology and Equestrian magic."
    Fallen Prime: So... delicious magical science.
    Neo: Is Potion the market brand name or did they just go for the generic brand? Also, is it really necessary to tell us what flavor it was?
    Steel: I... think so? Maybe it’s called ‘Grape-Flavored Nanomachines’, and they just went with ‘Potion’ for all the youngsters reading.
  • "Where the humans had won, lay newly created corpses, dead, gummy eyes staring into oblivion,"
    Sigma: Pinkie’s pet was given a full decorated funeral with military honors.
    Sven: The 21 Party Cannon salute was glorious.
  • "[T]he young man could taste the grape on her lips."
    Neo: Again, is the whole grape flavor thing really that relevant?
    Neo: If grapes actually turn out to be the main ingredient in ‘Potion,’ then I might just flip a table.
    Axel Nyan: This author is trying so hard to force her grape-fetish on her readers.
    RJ: This is going to be stuck in my head every time grape comes up now. Thanks, fic.
    Sigma: ...What kind of grape? Green, red, or purple grape? They all have a distinctive taste, you know.
    Neo: What about Blue Raspberry?
    MrSing: Nothing like a cold glass of grapes right before battle.
    Cola: Hey, now. Grape isn’t something to joke about.
    SC276: I’m fairly sure at this point that the “potion” is just wine and everyone is actually drunk off their gourds. Like I wish I was about a quarter of the way into this mess.
  • "There would have been no possible way to see anything, had the device at his back detonated. He would have been terminated instantaneously;"
    SC276: There’s purple prose, and then there's ultraviolet.
  • "'I'm just here at Celestia’s request to help you. No, don't fret, I’m perfectly fine!' The doctor / pegasus gave Michael a big smile."
    Neo: "NOBODY GIVES A SHIT, LARRY!"
    twow: ...Guys. Celestia can bring dead humans back to life with the power of ponies. AND ONLY BY TURNING THEM INTO PONIES.
    Steel: And thus, Celestia became God.
    Steel: Ponies are born, live, then are reborn as other ponies. That’s one hell of a spiralling circle of life... but what about abortions? Are they just born into other ponies? And what if everyone who can be alive is alive right then? Is everybody just infertile until someone drops dead?
    Simon: Dude, you made abortions feel like a reset button. “Ah, I wanted to be a unicorn this time! Kill me, we’ll try again!”
  • "You took my head off right here, remember?"
    twow: He took your head off with a bullet? Was he using a fucking high-powered sniper rifle?
    Ringmaster: Maybe he was using one of Fallen’s rusty sawblade guns.
    Waterpear: It was a hypergun. It’s just like a regular gun, except it lets you 360noscope entire continents.
    Neo: Haven’t you seen? They made a gun capable of shooting rusty saw blades.
    Fallen Prime: “They?” I thought I patented that!
    Neo: It was ‘Based off of’ your original design in a similar fashion to how this story was based off of Ten Minutes. The gun shoots peeled oranges is what I’m getting at.
    Steel: It hasn’t really taken with any major militant organizations, but Marketing is working on it.
    Fallen Prime: Cunting Aperture...
  • "No, Michael, you were in hell. You were in the hell that was human life, the hell that was Earth."
    Waterpear: And now you’re in the hell that is “Ten Minutes: Aftermath.”
    Fallen Prime: “It was remarkably difficult to find a princess-sized soapbox, so I hope you appreciate my speech.”
    Cola: If a goddess cannot make a soapbox sufficiently stable to support her goddessy frame, then why do we call her goddess?
    Dark Angel: Actually, she did make one that could support her frame. The problem is that the said goddess has a weakness for chocolate cake.
    Ringmaster: “The Hell That Was Human Life” sounds more like an emo album than something that should ever come out of the mouth of a cartoon pony.
    Neo: And yet here we stand.
    Steel: And here we read. I think we all feel less human for it. ...I didn’t actually mean to make that joke, OH GOD THEY’RE CONVERTING ME!
  • "Michael had heard enough. 'Just tell me what you want me to do to end this.' He meant it. Anything."
    NaturalGlitch: Well, first you hit the backspace key. Then, you don’t stop.
    RJ: After that, open up the command prompt and type format c:/ and hit enter.
    SC276: Make it third, just to be safe.
    Cola: Not enough. The author would still have the ending in their memory. Follow the computer out the window! It’s the only way to be sure.
  • "Those were not the actions of a robot without free will."
    Waterpear: Yes, by programming a robot to pause before it does your bidding, you too can create a machine that passes the Turing Test.
    Axel Nyan: For only 52 easy payments of 499.99$, you too can own your very own lifelike robot!~ Guaranteed to pass any test!
    Steel: Give it your homework! Tell it a joke! Order it to end all mankind! We guarantee success in any and all operations!
    Sigma: These characters are about as free as fucking Bonzi Buddy.
    Ringmaster: Chat had that on her computer, but it uninstalled itself after it saw her stories.
  • "“My stallion! You made it! It’s so good to see you!” It was Tank, now a fine stallion."
    Sigma: I thought Tank was a tortoise.
    Cola: Wrong Tank. I got a little confused on that too. *offers a handy chart*
    Cola: *nods solemnly* It’s right. Trust me.

    My Life in MLP / The Search Of Equestia 
  • This part, after an introduction to the fics is given.
    Maud: Did I also mention that the author posted thirteen chapters as a single chapter? Because he did. And that's terrible.
  • From "My Life in MLP"
  • From "The Search Of Equestia"
    • The very first "sentence."
      My story begin with a 16 year old boy the boy name is David and I have crap live nobody want to be friend and the school year wasn't best at the time after was over I walked home when I got home my uncle came over hi David how was your day?
      Something: Where you don’t wanna wake up? (flies away for realsies this time)
      SC276: Already I want to kill someone.
      Crazy56U: I… I feel like I made a mistake coming back...
      • By the end of chapter 1, the story is completely incomprehensible.
        SC276: ...OK, I’ve completely lost track of the plot. Something about Pinkie and Rainbow and… signs or something? Augh, it can’t be a seven-year-old that wrote it, half the words would be misspelled then.
        Ringmaster: What about a 6-year-old with a really good spellcheck program?
        SC276: Fanfic writers, use spellcheck? Have you seen the last fic?
        Ringmaster: ...Point taken.
        Cola: Wait! I understand now. I understand. This was the rough draft of the previous fic. That’s the only explanation I’m willing to live with, because if two different people can write shit this fucking incoherent then no, no, the world is not a place I’m willing to live any more.
        Crazy56U: All I know is that I’m lost, scared, and confused. Mostly scared.
    • Due to being introduced as a "cinema," Discord is interpreted as an evil movie theater that only shows The Room, Birdemic II, and (after mutating) Cutthroat Island.
    • Ring, for the first and only time, covers the second name of the protagonist of "The Search Of Equestia" with white text due to how stupid it is. How stupid? The protagonist is Solid Snake.
      RJ: !
      Ringmaster: A good amount of the reason I put this fic up here was just so I could show you all… that.
      SC276: THE GUY’S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE! HE DOES NOTHING STEALTHY OR BADASS! HE SPENT THE FINAL BATTLE KNOCKED OUT, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!
      Cola: You. Are. Fuck. Ing. Shit. Ting. Me.
      Topher: This tweest brought to you by M. Night Shamallamadingdong.
      Crazy56U: (in pain) … …this is why we can’t have nice things...

    A Beautiful But Scary Effect 
Advertisement:

    The Ponyville Curse 
  • After the computer supposedly magically downloads Windows Media Player:
    Hey! It's one less program I have to download!
    Sigma: Ignorance is indeed bliss.
    Crazy56U: You poor deluded fool... Everyone knows VLC is better...
    Sigma: OI! Media Player Classic!
    Crazy56U: I will fight you in the street.
  • "Imagine Flippy from Happy Tree Friends when he flips out and replace the white with the blue."
    SC276: I am, and it looks nothing like what you described earlier. Double-checking now in case my memory is failing me... Oh, the irises were yellow. I... would not call Flippy's irises yellow. Well, not yellow yellow, more of a dark yellow YES I AM STALLING FOR TIME.
    Crazy56U: Keep stalling, please? ...please?
    SC276: I CAN ONLY THINK OF SO MUCH TO TYPE.
    Crazy56U: GIBBERISH! JUST TYPE GIBBERISH!
  • "This was awful to look at. Would you find it horrible if you saw a dead child brutally murdered somehow?"
    Ringmaster: I mean, I have at least 600 hours total in the Binding of Isaac series, so...
    NaturalGlitch: Why didn't this guy—-oh, I don’t know-—call the police about this?!
    SC276: Did the Internet Police even exist in 2012?
    Crazy56U: Insert FNAF joke here.
  • "The order they were in from closest to furthest was Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and finally Fluttershy."
    SC276: Who even remembers that kind of detail?!
    Crazy56U: Ask the narrator of "Sonic.EXE".
  • "According to our research,"
    SC276: "-which we won't elaborate on here, since it's scientifically impossible to perform-"
  • Crazy56U's mental breakdown during Spike's evil monologue. Ever wonder why he keeps insisting this riff never happened? Now you do.
    • "And all his illness and injuries? He did those himself."
      NaturalGlitch: [Spike] "The big guy even tried to pin me with the sledgehammer incident. What a kook!"
      SC276: The author literally just tried to make a creepypasta out of Happy Tree Friends' "Double Whammy” two-parter and paint MLP on it. ...I've seen worse.
      Crazy56U: Oh my God, you are! You ARE ripping off "Fight Club"! WHAT IS THIS?!
      Fallen Prime: If either of you are right, then the twist is... this was secretly a crossover.
    • "I'm suprised he hadn't killed himself doing so! He would also search up and download viruses too."
      Scarlet: Based on documents eleven and twelve, he was producing that just fine on his own.
      Scarlet: .....In a manner of speaking, yes.
      Fallen Prime: GODDAMMIT I TRUSTED YOU.
      Crazy56U: Okay, no, I HIGHLY DOUBT his schizophrenia would make him do that dear GOD what is this making me type?!

    A Friendship Broken by Loyalty 
  • Right off the bat:
    Ringmaster: It's the second user-voted one shot, and you guys picked... a Rainbow Factory fan-prequel. Yay.
  • "They were also saying really mean things about me."
    Scarlet: "Not bad, Dash! If you keep it up you might almost be average!"
    Crazy56U: (tears up notecard; bitter) Nice job stealing the math joke, friend...
    Dark Angel: Well, you could make a joke like she was only performing at 20%... oh, sorry.
    Crazy56U: (tears up another notecard; more bitter) Yeah... I bet you are...
  • "I walked up to them and said, "Is that really what you think about me, A LAUGHABLE FAILURE!?'"
    Sigma: Yes.
    Ferret: That was almost too easy.
    Crazy56U: Well, really, there’s no other answer...
  • "Now Rainbow dash, darling, we didn’t mean any harm. To be honest it WAS Pinkie pie who started it."
    NaturalGlitch: Plot twist: Rainbow is talking to the rag dolls from the creepy-pasta a few riffs back.
    Scarlet: Plot twists are supposed to be unexpected.
    Crazy56U: (eye begins twitching; grabs head) W-why would you remind me of that...
  • "I can't believe you all; there isn't anything magical about cracking insulting jokes about your friend behind her back!"
    Crazy56U: ...did Rainbow just insult Seinfeld?

    Baron Silver 
  • The early part of the riff has a Running Gag where the riff place keeps getting set on fire.
    • [A]nd the grass was wet with morning dew.
      SC276: Given how last night went, probably some other things as well.
      Topher: *lights a molotov cocktail* On it! *throws the molotov cocktail, which shatters against the fourth wall, setting half the riff... um... place on fire*
      Crazy56U: (on fire) AGAIN?! REALLY?!?!
      SC276: *grabs a fire extinguisher and starts spraying down the fire* We're not even past the opening paragraph yet, are you kidding me?!
      Dark Angel: That's what you get when flamers become riffers.
    • "Twilight would get up to care for him when he woke up; being after all he is still only a baby dragon."
      Scarlet: The mark of a true editor is knowing exactly which sentences deserve to be murdered for taking up too much space in the story. Would someone please pass me my corkscrew?
      Crazy56U: (using corkscrew as a toothpick) In a sec...
      Topher: You want I should make another molotov?
      SC276: If you set this place on fire again, I'm finding another use for this extinguisher.
      Dark Angel: I'm going to go back to my previous comment on this. Is that a threat or some kind of fetish?
      Topher: I'm going to go back to my previous answer. yes.
    • Eventually, the fire department stops responding to calls.
  • Spike looking up information about the creature he saw is referred to as him looking up the Pokédex.
    Spike had found it, but he was only able to find one monster that could fit the description of the thing Spike had seen.
    Scarlet: And sadly, he was unable to find its type weaknesses or what routes it was most easily encountered on.
    Topher: Was it one of those promotional event-trade only monsters then?
    Crazy56U: (pulls out a 3DS) My bet's on it being a Mystery Gift...
  • "The book stated that 'It has been thought that Discord had scared away all of these creatures, for they were a peaceful kind'."
    SC276: Given we know what's coming up... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA.
    Scarlet: As I'm blind riffing as per my usual M.O., I'll just prepare myself for a prime slice of delicious stupid.
    Dark Angel: I'm always blind riffing, so we’re in the same boat. Considering where that boat is taking us though, we might as well be sinking faster than the titanic.
    Topher: Yeah, whoever wrote this must have been pretty dumb if he thought humans were peaceful creatures. I mean come on, I murder people for no reason other than for shits and giggles! (Shoots SC in the head) And I'd say I'm a pretty typical human.
    Dark Angel: I consider myself as a protector. But I’d consider myself as a typical human…or was that inhuman?
    SC276: You are so lucky I have a hard head.
    Crazy56U: (pulls the bullet out of SC276's head) ...I’m not a doctor, but shouldn’t that still hurt?
    SC276: Like you would not believe. Thankfully, over four years of riffing have given me ample time to learn how to scream internally.
  • "About 2 hours later, Twilight came home and saw that the book was open on the floor, open to the page about humans."
    Scarlet: You know, the point of a plot twist is to make sure it's unexpected.
    NaturalGlitch: (spit take) Oh come on!
    Crazy56U: "Included was a plot summary of Equestria Girls. Twilight promptly lit the book on fire."
    Dark Angel: *pushes speed dial* Hey it's me aga-...Pizza Hut? Wrong speed dial...I'd like to order a large pizza with pepperoni and jalapenos...
    NaturalGlitch: (chuckles) Whenever I see someone complain about EG—or Muffins being a canon name— I always think of Chris-chan's reaction to Sonic's arms being blue. Not sure why.
    Crazy56U: A) I actually like Equestria Girls, I was just making a stupid joke. B) HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO CHRIS CHAN!!!! (punches you in the face... repeatedly)
    Toper: Too late! They're going in the jar! *pulls out a jar full of human teeth, starts scanning the floor*
  • "Twilight Sparkle made sure Spike did not tell anyone about what he read,"
    NaturalGlitch: I bet he's been reading fanfiction.
    Crazy56U: Poor damn fool...
  • In this riff in particular, Crazy56U was not in the mood to deal with discussions on the show's canon.
    Maybe he is in the Everfree forest?
    Scarlet: God damn it that’s even worse! Your survival instinct has been exceeded by ten year olds! I just had to downsize my mason jar!
    NaturalGlitch: If Applejack, Apple Bloom and Zecora can handle the forest like nothing, then so can Twilight. It’s not like she hasn’t done that before at all.
    Scarlet: Cockatrice. Those vines with knockout dust.
    NaturalGlitch: You mean those things that happened once? I doubt Twilight is going to stare into the eyes of a snake chicken again anytime soon. If you know what I mean~
    Crazy56U: OI! What did I say about discussions?! (slams Scarlet and Glitch’s heads together, Three Stooges style)
    NaturalGlitch: Certainly! Whoop, whoop, whoop, nyuk, nyuk!
    Scarlet: You don't own me. But you have caused me pain. I shall now cry. *sobs in corner*
    Dark Angel: Of all riffs I could’ve taken part of, I get stuck with the Three Stooges of riffing.
  • "[H]e turned to Scootaloo and said 'Do you know what Rainbow Dash's favorite breakfast is?'"
    SC276: *collapses laughing* OK, Glitch, that was pretty good.
  • With the OC named what he is, Ringmaster handles the Obligatory Joke.
    It would take some getting used to for Silver to eat the hay food.
    Scarlet: Author, you do realize that pasta is made from grain, right? Like, as in, vegetarian? Author? Hello? A- right he’s not listening.
    Ringmaster: One could almost say… it’s no use.
    SC276: Are you going to just keep doing that joke the entire story?
    Ringmaster: Hey, if I don't make them, someone will.
    NaturalGlitch: Wish I said it.
  • And then the sex scene happened, and then right after Silver gets off-
    Chapter 10
    SC276: ...That's it? It's over? Just... like that? No post-coital cuddles or anything?
    Ringmaster: SC, don't you get what just happened there?
    SC276: The most boring mating scene ever?
    Ringmaster: Close. The author finished, and so did the chapter.
    SC276: ...Ah.
    Scarlet: *applause*

    The Enemy of My Enemy 

    Cupcakes: Creepypasta Edition 
Advertisement:

    My Little Fazpony 

    Community Shuffle # 1 

    Community Shuffle # 2 

    Spirit of Hearth's Warming Eve Shorts 

    The Shining Sabre / The New Bearer / The Arrival 

    The Discord.EXE Trilogy 
  • Ring had such a hard time trying to find something to riff for the start of 2016 that he just grabbed something at random off of FFNet.
    Ringmaster: Anyway, Fallen, what came to mind when I first linked you this?
    Fallen Prime: Other than "why" and "fuck you?"
    Ringmaster: I was more specifically referring to the whole "IT'S A GIANT WALL OF TEXT" bit.
  • From "DiscordExe":
    • The main reason why the Author wrote this story is because he hated Facebook. Not that you can tell.
      Facebook has the most unhelpful ways to get back your account after being blocked.
      CaptainPipsqueak: They're actually doing you a favour but be as angry as you wish.
      ToonGuy: So this is pretty much Sonic.exe just with a different character?
      Crazy56U: ...so, does this mean you're going to rip off "Unfriended" then?
      Especially fake ones.
      Crazy56U: Facebook has fake ways to get your account back?
      ToonGuy: They're like that one kid who doesn't stop trying to sucker punch you.
    • "This is the story of how Facebook fell."
      Ringmaster: Not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with thousands of shitty Minion memes.
      SC276: This is the sort of thing that one should write down in a Word document and then not post on the Internet.
    • "It was from [']Discord: The Master of Chaos[']."
      Crazy56U: Wow. We're just... we're just going in raw, aren't we?
      Scarlet: This author's hardcore.
      CaptainPipsqueak: Bite the mousepad, I'm going in dry!
    • "Against my better judgement, I clicked on the link."
      JofY: It showed him how he wasn’t gonna give you up.
      CaptainPipsqueak: What a let-down.

    An Evening With A Pegasus 

    A Demon's Love 

    The Trixieverse I: The Grass is Always Greener 

    Tree of Harmony 

    Community Shuffle # 3 

    Flutterbat's Harem 
  • After a relatively short intro:
    Ringmaster, a few minutes later: Alright, time to paste the fic in, and... oh. Well. That’s... quite the way to start the actual story document off. Let’s press enter a few times to get that off the first page... and done. This is not going to end well.
  • After it's revealed that the protagonist is lonely, girlfriendless and desperate:
    "[A]ll inhibitions burned away by the tempting chill that the stream below seduced you with."
    Crazy56U: The guy is so fucking desperate that he’s resorting to trying to fuck water, dear God in Heaven...

    Community Shuffle # 4 

    The Mysterious Death of the Wonderbolt Leader 

    Horrible Creepypasta Shuffle 

    she must never know 

    better season 5 end 
  • "Starlight Glimmer!"
    Crazy56U: As opposed to Sunset Shimmer, who’s currently busy with the plot of Equestria Games.
    ThatUnknownPony: And you criticize people for never watching the show.
  • Spike's absence in the story doesn't go unmentioned:
    SC276: I miss Spike already.
    Crazy56U: We all miss Spike.
    Mononeko: Nope.
  • "'Very well 'Princess Of Friendship',' Starlight said pulling a hoof over Twilight's neck, 'I'll tell you what i want.[']"
    Scarlet: Too late to start the sexy sax music?
  • "N-nothing! Nothing! We uh, were...just exploring! Part of a reven-URNEY Journey!
    SC276: A what?
    Crazy56U: A revenurney journey is when you (makes random mouth noises while making vague hand gestures) and then go home.
    ToonGuy: Huh. I never *makes same gestures and mouth noises* when I go on my revenurney journey. I always *makes slightly different noises and hand gestures* instead. Am I doing it wrong?
    Crazy56U: Nah, that’s how they do it in France.
    Mononeko: Then what the hell was I doing when I did this? *makes entirely different noises and hand gestures*
    SC276: (GASPS) Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!

    Cupcakes / Cupcakes 2 
  • From "Cupcakes":
    • Chapter 1 - Is it a prank?
      ToonGuy:: ~Caught by a cannibal, no escape from insanity~
      Mononeko: ~Open your eyes, look up to your screen and screeeeeeeeam. She’s just a poor mare, she needs some sympathy~
      ThatUnknownPony: ~Because Dash easy comes, easy goes. Ripped apart, by this ho. Anyways this fic blows, nothing really matters in it.~
      CaptainPipsqueak: ~Pinkie... killed Rainbow Dash; making cupcakes was her wish, she gutted Rainbow like a fish…~
      SC276: Shhhhh, the fic is starting!

    Rainbow Factory 

    My Little Dashie / The Invasion 

    The Conversion Bureau 

    Obscure Crossover Shuffle 
  • From "The Knight Rider Of Equestria":
    • ["]Now begone you foul creatures!"
      SC276: ...Didn't work, the fic’s still here.
      Crazy56U: ...fuck it, you deserve this more. (gives SC276 the "You Win!" ribbon)
      SC276: Yay! ^^ I’d like to thank the Academy...

    Obscure Crossover Shuffle # 2 
  • From "Ducktales in Equestria":
    • After the author goes out of his way to describe Huey, Dewey and Louie, he doesn't do the same for Scrooge McDuck. Crazy's reaction?
      Crazy56U: He doesn't get a description because fuck the bourgeoisie.
    • "Before he left he toke the tape recorder with he."
      Crazy56U: And so the chapter ends with Scrooge McDuck using a tape recorder as a bong.
      SC276: No, that'd be interesting.
      Dark Angel: I won’t complain if a bong comes into play at any time during this fic. I wouldn’t even care what it’s used for just as long as a bong exists.
      ToonGuy: Ask and ye shall receive. *takes out bong, passes it around*
  • From "Dib in the Rainbow Factory":
    • "A quick patter of footsteps echoed around the metal walls, the sound making Dib shudder like someone had started rubbing a balloon."
      SC276: When does the pony come in? I understand pony.
      Nox: We've all snapped at this point.
    • "A/N I was inspired by a picture by InvaderLez on DA that had Dib strapped into the Rainbow Factory."
      Crazy56U: DeviantArt is to blame for this. This is my surprised face.
      ThatUnknownPony: Geez, what a shock!
      SC276: So you couldn't even be bothered to come up with your own premise. THIS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH PONIES.
      Crazy56U: Hey now, the Author made it abundantly clear that this was a crossover with that fucking song, that's pony enough.

    Love Knows No Race 

     Sister Dash 
  • The riff opens with Crazy56U eulogizing the Running Gag of wanting to riff "Sister Dash" while Ring keeps demanding to know who voted for it.
  • "[']Her spells have caused serious injuries to our citizens!' Rainbow Dash was horrorstruck."
    Mononeko: Okay, this joke is way too obvious, so I'm just going to link the punchline here.
    Vertigo22: Horrorstruck: the evolved form of Awestruck.
    CaptainPipsqueak: But not even remotely good as thunderstruck.
    ThatUnknownPony: ...and since everyone's doing it, why stay behind?
  • "Celestia gasped. 'Those are... my loyal subjects![']"
    SC276: And... what ponies in Equestria aren't your loyal subjects? Well, besides the obvious, I guess.
    Crazy56U: [Princess Luna] "...well, okay, I'll give you that... A bit too broad of a description, but I'll give it to you..."
    BittplexMutt: [Celestia] "I can't believe that Mare Do Well is everyone!"
    Vertigo22: [Celestia] "Luna, why didn't you tell me that cosplaying was the new hot thing to do!?"
    CaptainPipsqueak: [Luna] "I was trying to save your soul, sister."
  • "said Ditzy Doo, pulling off the rest of the costume and tossing it amongst the garbage."
    JofY: Yes, the now growing pile of trash in the center of town.
  • "She then proceed to write a letter."
    JofY: 'F'
    Mononeko: 'U'
    SC276: 'C'
    Crazy56U: 'K'
    Dark Angel: Okay, class. What does that spell?
    Crazy56U: The Author! :D
    ToonGuy: *hands Crazy a gold star* Well done!

    The Wrath of the Slendermare/Jeff the Killer Pony 

    10/ 15 Poll Winner (actually SONIC.EXE and its sequel) 

    Lost Episode Creepypasta Shuffle 

    My Little Pokemon 

     Snow days are forever 

     Stocking Stuffer Shuffle 
  • From "A Nostalgia Critic and Mlp Christmas":
    • "anything like that and i know here is Hearth's Warming but to me its Christmas okay its Fucking Christmas.""
      Crazy56U: Instead of Christmas trees, we decorate Christmas dildos.
      ToonGuy: I have nothing to add to this. Nothing in the slightest!
      CaptainPipsqueak: LIES!
      Crazy56U: Shut up.
      CaptainPipsqueak: You’ve been waiting ages to do that. Admit it.
    • "'Don't forget your umbrealla.' Sandy said in the spongebob clip. ' IIIIIII Didn't!' Spongebob said while singing at the same time."
      Crazy56U: I tried looking up this clip on YouTube right now, because I hate myself, and I wound up finding this.
      Something: Oh, YouTube. Never stop surprising me.
      CaptainPipsqueak: So that's what wishing you were blind and deaf feels like!
    • "Sweetie Belle was playing with Scootaloo Applebloom"
      BittplexMutt: You know without the period, it makes it seem that Scootaloo and Applebloom fused together.
      CaptainPipsqueak: [Scootabloom] "Killl usssss...."
    • "Elusive Nozzles back,"
      ThatUnknownPony: *both palms on his face* ...so apparently this is not only a Nostalgia Critic crossover, but also an On a Cross and Arrow crossover. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
      Ringmaster: This... this is a Nostalgia Critic crossover where at least three MLP characters are romantically paired with the genderbent versions of themselves what the fuck is going on
      Crazy56U: What happened here was a Christmas miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it. This is your fault.
      JofY: I’ll say that this may be unique material for us, but if you pull something like this again...
      Mononeko: ~On the first day of Christmas Ringmaster gave to me / This excuse for a story.~
    • "' Sometimes i wonder what the Colors..meean.' Hubie Singing."
      Mononeko: "This is painful." Mono saying.
      Crazy56U: "Christmas is fucking dead." Crazy56U saying.
      ToonGuy: "This year better hurry the fuck up and end." ToonGuy sobbing.
      CaptainPipsqueak: *The Captain snored.* *Atlas shrugged.*
      Crazy56U: And the dish ran away with the spoon.
    • " 'Like yourrrr Eyes, where was..I?' Hubie asked"
      JofY: [Hubie] "Line?"
      Crazy56U: I think Hubie is dying.
      SuperMapslover: Or he's drunk.
      CaptainPipsqueak: Split the difference: He's got so much alcohol in his system, his liver is melting.
    • Right as the second chapter starts up:
      a Nostlagia Critic and Mlp Christmas Story Review
      Crazy56U: COWARD
      Crazy56U: Don't you fucking quote me to me.

     Equestria Girls (Rewritten) 
  • Behold, some really shitty formatting.
    "The Princesses and the Element bearers
    come out"
    Something: WHY IS THE SENTENCE
    FORMATTED LIKE THIS
    Mono: Because the author
    can’t write for shit.
    ThatUnknownPony: Can somebody please
    fix this damn thing?
    Topher: Somebody help,
    I can’t turn it
    off!
    ToonGuy: Oh this is
    how it
    all
    ends…
    SC276: (kicks the formatting back into place) Whiners.

     Life Change, in 127. 8 Seconds 
  • "It looked like a male."
    Mono: "I could see that by looking at its... muzzle."
    SuperMapslover: Mono, stop it, that's Pip's schtick.
    ThatUnknownPony: "Judging by the size of his big, thick, throbbing... hind legs. Seriously, they look like they could break a rock with just a buck!"
    CaptainPipsqueak: "The fact that it had a penis was also a clue!"
    CaptainPipsqueak: I'm not apologizing.
  • Each time the Author links to a Doctor Who soundtrack piece, Crazy56U offers up an alternative link. Every alternative given links to "Go Fuck Yourself".

    Ponyville Love Story 

    Pre-Event Shuffle 

    Element Seven 
  • "The End Begins"
    Fallen Prime: That's not how that works, though?
    Crazy56U: ...why are you here?
    Fallen Prime: Ring said this fic was one of the stupidest we've ever run, and based on accounts of what happened in "Sonic - EGRainbow Rocks," I knew that wasn't stated lightly.
  • "Some think forever is eternal, it never ends."
    Crazy56U: (busts out the "You Win" sticker)
    BittplexMutt: *brings out a "You Tried" sticker*
    Calico: ~This is the song that never ends...~
  • "Everything has to end eventually."
    SC276: Well maybe the eternal is the stuff that when it ends loops back to the beginning, ever thought of that?
    Crazy56U: And thank fuck for that. Literally the only saving grace of the universe.
    Fallen Prime: Not true. Mozzarella sticks wouldn’t exist without a universe.
    CaptainPipsqueak: Bullshit. Mozzarella sticks are infinite beyond all nothingness.
    BittplexMutt: I want to eat some mozzarella sticks now.
    Dragonborne: "Eternity ending" is like saying "fresh frozen." Poor use of oxymorons, mate.
  • "Josh was thirteen years old and a pro skater."
    JofY: A thirteen year old that gets paid for skating around? So, he's also a Justin Bever lookalike.
    Crazy56U: Tony Hawk? Go fuck yourself.
    Fallen Prime: Don't give him that idea again. Fucking himself birthed Pro Skater 5.
    Crazy56U: Hey, it was better than Ride, so nyeh.
    SuperMapslover: Glad to know that Bootleg!Tony Hawk is the protagonist.
  • "There were a few kids who were pretty cool, though."
    Dragonborne: With Chuck Norris as a teacher? Sign me up.
  • "Unlike Josh, however, Tim was a bit of a nutjob."
    SC276: Right. "Unlike."
    JofY: 'Tim enjoyed riffing, and inserting his own universe into those riffs when it made no sense.'
    CaptainPipsqueak: Weirdo. *Looks around room* Aw fuck...
    Crazy56U: "Steve liked setting squirrels on fire, and peeing in mailboxes!"
    Calico: ...
    Crazy56U: (pats Calico on the shoulder) Don't let it get to you, just keep it in your mind that the Author will be dead someday. Everything will be fine.
  • "[Twilight] had never believed in conspiracy theories, but something inside her said this one might be true."
    SC276: I mean, it's not like myths from the past have come true before. Nightmare Moon? Pfffft, totally fake. You can see the wires!
    Crazy56U: Discord? HA! Clearly a polar bear in disguise.
    JofY: Queen Chrysalis? No, Cadance was always a raging bitch. She just had swiss the other night.
    Mono: Sombra? Just Flash Sentry with terrible make-up.
    BittplexMutt: The Dazzlings? Just some raging pop girl band.
    CaptainPipsqueak: Tirek? Just swamp gas, a stray weather balloon and a particularly bright occurrence of the northern lights.
    SuperMapslover: Midnight Sparkle? Just Twilight drinking too much moonshine again.
    ToonGuy: Don’t even get us started on Gladstone! Dirty Apples framed him!
    Giginss: You becoming an Alicorn? Ha! Only M. A. Larson would ever dare do something like that!
    Topher: Flim and Flam? Nothing but cleverly made animatronics from a local theme park!
  • "Twilight attempted to explain the theory to her friends, but they all just laughed."
    Crazy56U: And so, MatPat is being mocked across the multiverse. I'm glad.
  • Behold: the fate of Spike:
    He hadn't survived.
    Ringmaster: And Spike is immediately dead! A great start to what's sure to be an incredible st- okay, I can't even say that sarcastically.
    Crazy56U: Spike dies every other week, Ring, shut up.
    JofY: Plus, it really ruins the drama you use a contraction that changes the tense.
  • "[A] Mickey Mouse costume, like the ones at Disney World."
    SC276: Even when Disney is literally dead, its reach is infinite.
    Crazy56U: This is the most depressing episode of "Some Jerk with a Camera" ever. And that includes the one where he found out the mascots are just people in costumes.
    ToonGuy: YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
  • "The seven began to flee, but abruptly stopped."
    JofY: They failed the RNG roll.
    Crazy56U: "They all suddenly realized 'Wait, it's fucking Mickey Mouse, we can take him', and then they proceeded to kick a costume's ass. Jesus wept."
  • And then Happy Appy appeared.
    SC276: oh come the fuck on
    BittplexMutt: THEY JUST WENT THERE.
    • "It came from this old kid's show of the same name.["]
      Crazy56U: It's from a piece of shit Creepypasta that is technically a trollpasta by the Author's own admission I am literally shaking right now I HATE YOU RING SO GODDAMN MUCH
    • "Oh, look, his blood is apple juice. Clever."
      Calico: Did the story just pat itself on the back?
      Fallen Prime: Someone has to.
      SC276: Author, we're the riffers here.
      Crazy56U: I swear to fuck, I will buy a jar of applesauce and shit in it. Out of FUCKING SPITE.
      JofY: *backs slowly away from Crazy56U*
      Crazy56U: FUCKING. SPITE.
      Mono: Ummm... you do you, Crazy.
  • "The group followed the studious unicorn through the destroyed streets."
    SC276: So, they know that the Colosseum is a trap... and they're going there anyway. Am I getting that right?
    Crazy56U: DING DING DING! You, my sir, just won a copy of the home game! (hands SC276 a jar of applesauce)
    SC276: Thank you. ...You didn't shit in this one, right?
    Crazy56U: Did what now?
    Mono: *pulls out a tape recorder* Should I?
  • "I also hope we can do this all together. We only have one chance in this world..."
    Fallen Prime: You say, right after retconning the entire apocalypse.
    SC276: [Josh] “One chance, but multiple continues!”
    Crazy56U: ...so YOLO then?
  • "And so ends Element Seven."
    SC276: Why was Element Six afraid of Element Seven? Because Element Seven Element Eight Element Nine! ... :D
    Mono: ...No.
    Crazy56U: And thus, comedy died.

    Return of the Changeling's/My Little One 

    Shepherd of Fire 

    Shipping Shuffle 

     Quest of the Cool Pony 

    Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks (Rewritten) 

     Ring's Birthday Special # 2 (Around The Bend) 
  • "The ponies in the carriage were screaming, filled with horror and dread."
    Mono: As opposed to screaming with joy.
    CaptianPipsqueak: Or screaming orgasmically.
    PanzerTheifZero: Pictured: Us right now.
    CaptianPipsqueak: ... ... ...Screaming orgasmically?
    Crazy56U: OKAY MOVING ON
  • Because of Twilight Sparkle being so extremely anal retentive, SC276 and Crazy56U come up with their own independent theories: either Twilight in this fic is actually a poorly programmed robot, or Twilight took several levels in jerkass after being forced into Alcoholic's Anonymous.

     Project AFTER Commemorative Shuffle 

     SCARY STORY 2 and A Scary Story 

     Rainbow Dash's Husband: Re-Write 

     Duty or Friendship?/The rest of Caveat Lector 

     Bendy And The Ink Machine: Alternate Story/Groom of Dash 

     Snowflakes in Love 

     The Republic of Harmony 

     Equestria Girls: Holiday Special (Rewritten) 

     Friendship is Failure Double Feature 

     Mystery Jukebox Shuffle 

     Love at First Sight: A My Little Pony Love Story 

     The Tale of No Face 

     Obscure Crossover Shuffle # 3 

     Mother Pinkie Pie 

     Troll Shuffle (actually Hell Shuffle) 

     Negative Zone Shuffle 

     Anniversary Shuffle 

     A Forgotten Power: Gilda Origins/A Forgotten Power 

     Red Apple 

     The Factory 
  • "Anyone with a pulse"
Crazy56U: (proceeds to check pulse) … … … (taps wrist) … ...uh oh…
CaptainPipsqueak: Huh. And I thought we were just dead inside...

    Ring's Third Annual Birthday Special (NSFW) 

    Ponymon 

    Silver Quill is now Officially "Cannon"! 

    Five Nights at Freddy's: Body vs. Mind 

    Bag of Halloween Tricks 

    Box of Halloween Pasta 

    Ponymon Finale/ML Pokemon 3: Lighten's Coronation 

    Rise of the Dark Queen 

     2018 Holiday Special (The Super Smash Brothers of Melee) 

     A Very Gothic Christmas 

    Stocking Stuffer Shuffle #2: Obscure Crossover # 4 

     2018 Christmas Special 

    The Brother's Adventure 
  • One of SC276's reactions to "Bend Time."
    SC276: ~Here’s the bend, it never fends / It makes me want to wag my tend / When it comes I want to wend / BEEEEEEEEND!~
    Crazy56U: (rubs face in pain) for god’s sake

    Godzilla's Lost Child 

     Blazin Lights (Episode 1) The Origin 

     My Little Gravity Falls:Friendship is Mystery 

     I just wanted to go to Equestria!:Another Story 

Multiparts (includes Samplers and Blitz)

    The Catch 
  • From Part 1:
    • Ring and Fallen's Bait-and-Switch in the beginning, making it look like the riffers are riffing a Chatoyance fic instead.
      Ringmaster: Did you really think we were going to go straight into another Chat fic this soon?
      Fallen Prime: We’re not fucking stupid. Here, you get kudzuhaiku instead.

    My Brave Pony: Starfleet Humans 
  • From Part 4:
    • "'No!!' shouted Sapphira. Without the rod, the power ceased, and the satellite stopped firing."
      SC276: ...Really? Your weapon of mass brainwashing doesn't have a functional battery?!
      Topher: Taking "batteries not included" to a whole new level.
      MrSing: Once again the day is saved by budget cuts.

    Multipart Sampler # 1 

    The rest of A Displaced Monster 
  • From Part 1.5:
    My dad is about to object, but I push him out the window. I was about to follow, but then I hear a crack.
    JofY: "Daddy! No!!!"

    Moonlight, Moonlight, Let my Fangs Gleem Tonight 

    Seventh Planet / The Mirror Spell 

    The Siren Chronicles 
  • Things get off to a good start right off the bat with Scarlet repeatedly swearing vengeance against Crazy56U (since, as Ring reveals, he's the one who led to this multiparter happening), while Crazy56U repeatedly (and angrily) insists Ring is at fault for deciding to do said multiparter.
  • From Part 1 ("a new world"):
    • At one point, the story suddenly shifts to italics without warning.
      JofY: *falls over* Fuck’s wrong with this room?
      SC276: (holds onto his chair is it slides downhill)
      ToonGuy: *claws madly at floor* OH GOD DAMN IT, THIS WAS PRETTY LOW ON THE WAYS I WANTED TO DIE.
      Mononeko: *is sliding down the floor*Hey! This is fun! Wheeeeeeeee!
      Crazy56U: After all, she’s seen “Return of Harmony”; she knows about his bullshit.
      ThatUnknownPony: I think he could even call bullshit on her! And can please somebody hold me?
      Topher: This is why I wore a seat belt!
      Dark Angel: *rides down the floor on a sled*
      CaptainPipsqueak: WHEEEE! I'm talkin’ all bendy-like again!
      Topher: Actually... that kinda looks like fun. *unbuckles seat belt, slides directly into a conveniently placed potted cactus*
      Dark Angel: Hey, you found my cactus! Thanks!
    • "It will be out when I'm done with my three other stories that need to be completed[.]"
      Mononeko: Not to be.
      Mononeko: I did not.
      ThatUnknownPony: Well he's fed up anyways.
    • From Part 1 ("my little falls: mystery is magic"):
      • "'It's simply my magic reincarnated into a being' siren said[.]"
        Crazy56U: Because that's what this Gravity Falls crossover needs! JOJO.
        ToonGuy: You have all these ideas for a crossover and THIS WAS THE ONE YOU WENT FOR, AUTHOR? For shame!
        Dragonborne: Agreed. And this is exactly why I started paying more attention when I write out chapters for my crossovers.
        ThatUnknownPony: Look on the bright side: Dio can always come and crush her with a steamroller.

    My Brave Pony Starfleet Humans: Starpops 

    Springtrapped 
  • From Part 1:
    • "She said, walking over to a large curtained off area where they had told her the finished products would be."
      JofY: It's an animatronic curtain.
      Crazy56U: In two weeks time, "The Rock-afire Explosion" will be ready to perform.
      CaptainPipsqueak: Ah, the 80's. Good fucking riddance.
    • "'Arrg! And you both be a dirty as pirates rollin in dirt' Foxy chimed."
      Calico103: Er, because pirates are known for doing that...? Arrg...?
      CaptainPipsqueak: Well, they do keep jars of the stuff.
      SC276: [Foxy] "Or anythin' rollin' in dirt fer that matter."
      Crazy56U: Foxy, now's not the time to be discussing your kinks.
    • "Spring Lock stood in front of the suit with a cocky smile plastered on his face. 'Behold, ladies and gentlecolts. I give you, Spring Bonnie.'"
      JofY: So, he made himself a wife.
      Crazy56U: Hey now, it could very easily be a husband, we don't exactly know how Spring Lock swings yet...
      Dragonborne: Uh, animatronophilia confirmed?
      CaptainPipsqueak: [Spring Lock] "Hey, it's a lifestyle choice, okay? Don't judge!"
    • What is the response to Spring Bonnie?
      The room was silent for just a moment longer, before Trevor decided to ruin it with words that made Spring Locks smile turn into an annoyed frown.
      BittplexMutt: [Trevor] "I'd hit that."
      Crazy56U: [Trevor] "Are you fucking kidding me..."
      "I don't get it. Why did you build another Bonnie...and why is he... different?"
      Calico103: No, he didn't "ruin it", he asked a valid question.
      Crazy56U: Apparently being different is bad. We are learning so much about Trevor tonight...
    • "[']I especially liked Freddy, he reminds me of Berry the bear.'"
      SC276: Isn’t the bear named Harry...?
      Crazy56U: Berry killed and replaced Harry. Fluttershy has yet to notice.
      CaptainPipsqueak: Stoned, actually. Codeine is fun.
  • From Part 2:
    • How does SC276 recap the first part?
      SC276: Last time on I'm Too Salty From My Recent Computer Troubles to Think of a Parody Title, another fucking human-pony relationship, decisions that make no sense, buried past being unearthed because it was buried for no good reason, and apparently the robots are going to be stalked by a serial killer robot possessed by a dead guy honestly Time Cube makes more sense at this point.
      Crazy56U: Dear God.
    • "[A]nd marched to the far back of the shop, using his horn to light the way."
      CaptainPipsqueak: Unfortunately, that was where he and the marching band parted ways, since there wasn't enough room for all of them. He blinked away a tear as they retreated over the rise, 'oompah'-ing with every sad step.
      Crazy56U: (rubs temples) oh goody, Pip's high again...
      CaptainPipsqueak: Fine; I'm not sharing, then.
    • "I always knew he had a darker side to him,"
      Crazy56U: Because fuck it, someone had to...
      Mononeko: Damn you Crazy, now I’m beginning to see parallels between Darth Vader and this jerkwad.
      CaptainPipsqueak: A whiny manbitch in a can?

    Sonic Multipart sampler 

    Past Sins Original Edit 

    The rest of Sonic - EG Rainbow Rocks 

    MLPokemon Redone 

    The rest of My Little Sonic Friendship is way past cool 

    Cutie Bloom 

    From One World to Another 

    Mighty Morphin' Kaiju Rangers: An EQG Crossover 

     Equestria chronicles : the lesson of a human adaptation 

     The First 24 Chapters of Living The Dream 

    My Little Unicorn: Magic is Believing 
  • From Part 3:
    • SC276's Running Gag of having music equipment explode at the end of a song has consequences.
      Crazy56U: (is now on fire) GODDAMNIT OW
      Nox: Where’s the fire extinguisher!?
      Topher: *is currently on fire* I used it to propel my swivel chair down the stairs. Why, do we need it?
      JofY: Huh… Good thing the explosion launched me back here.
      BittplexMutt: Bravo! Everyone!
      Mono: I don’t know what the fuck just happened, but all I know is that I still have a bag of marshmallows waiting to be toasted! *roasts marshmallows on Crazy’s burning body*
      PanzerThiefZero: Oh goody! I love s'mores!

     My Immortal (actually Handbook for Mortals) 

     Sonic - EG Friendship Games 

     My Little Pony: The Acceptance of Friendship 

     Three of Me: School Society 

     Bittersweet 

     The PER: Michelson and Morely - The Speed Of Right 

     Friendship is Failure #3: Beast Boy in Equestria 

    The First 24 Chapters of Three of Me: School Society 

    Kingdom Hearts: Equestria Girls 

     The Rotten Recursion: A HTTYD/MLP Fic 


Top

Example of:

/
/

Feedback