Funny: Rebel Taxi
Let's just say driver Pan-Pizza has a twisted sense of humor that's bound to make you fall over laughing.
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Pizza Party Podcast
1 - Adventure Time Screws Up 2 - Sonic Cartoons Look Back Retrospective
- Ken's request for JFK Vines/#JFK Style and Nolan's comment on how they will be viewed as terrorists: (Headline) "Local Terrorists Start JFK Vines, more at 11:00." "Apparently they were doing it for the "L-O-L-Zs?"
- Pan and crew (hopefully jokingly) acting like Fan Haters towards Family Guy, and later a bunch of other things, and suggest the fans kill themselves. It's so rude and uncalled for, yet it's hilarious.
- Pan starts crying like a little bitch after his friends make fun of his response to Zone on Twitter thanking him for putting Zone-tan in his Top 10 Worst Redesigns video.
Zone: It was a pleasure working with you.
Pan: It was a pleasure JERKING with you.
- The rather blunt explanation of Astro Boy's plot.
- This classic exchange
Nolan: You know, when I was watching Austin Powers, I didn't know Nigeria was a real country and there was like somebody from the Nigerian Parliament or some shit.Pan: You idiot.Pan: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?!Ken: Nolan...Nolan: Uh oh, Spaghetti-Os.Pan: You said the N word you stupid idiot!Ken: Yeah! -You stupid ni-(BOING!)Pan: WHAT THE FUCK KEN!?(Nolan laughs)Pan: Ken you're Black, it's okay.
- The mere fact that Pan, Ken, and Nolan are allegedly at the now-infamous Dashcon.
- The various things he and his friends describe about the ball pit.
- Ken reveals he thought Halloweentown was about a town full of Michael Myers', which escalates into a Running Gag of thinking every DCOM involved Michael Myers in some way.
- Pan gets killed (by Jihad's suicide bomb) towards the end and his "ghost" fills in for him.
- Ken thinks about Dude, What Would Happen?, which leads to "Dude, what would happen if I stick my dick in your butt?".
- The joke of XLR stumbling onto the podcast with AJ believing he would receive a free burrito unaware of the podcast in progress.
- Pan, Ken, and Nolan's reaction to the above.
- Pan mistaking Stan Lee as the owner of Playboy.
- Nolan blowing up at the others for insulting Nestle Wonder Balls.
Nolan: I did not agree, to fucking sit here, and listen to one of my favorite childhood candies, get SHAT ON, by you FUCKING degenerates! This is BULLSHIT!
- The Running Gag of meeting Jim and the rest of the podcasters at your local K-Mart with $100. "Don't call us, WE'LL call you."
- Jim and "Jizz music", especially the ensuing puns.
- Pan concluding that Team Coco Pebbles vs Team Fruity Pebbles is actually a cover for the agenda: Black People vs Homosexuals. The sheer tastelessness is lampshaded as a Nolan joke.
- In the same vein, because Pan and Ceshira are Mexican, Ken balances the races out by declaring Jim Black, much to his confusion.
- The Running Gag about Gables being some random kid they picked up off the street.
- Pan provides his own rendition of The Touch
- They repeatedly spoil the fact that Adventure Time is getting a movie, which they were trying to save for the end.
- The crew's joke about Rebecca Sugar snorting coke when coming up with the Steven Universe / Uncle Grandpa crossover.
- Their claims that Dog with a Blog is really about a dog (Stan) running a 9/11 truth site, and the unaired final episode: Stan writing that "9/11 was an inside job".
- Pan and Jim's conversation while impersonating the Beatles.
- The return of Gables.
- Their claims that the Air Buddies contributed to the bombing of the World Trade Center on 9/11, also framing the basketball coach as he's sent to a jail/mental asylum.
- Scooby-Doo IS: The Dog With A Blog (Stan).
- The Rebel Squad in a previous podcast saying they should do a Shrek podcast, they really did it.
- Ken's first absence because of his computer not working due to water damage, which the remaining Rebel Squad implying that he masturbated to Puella Magi Madoka Magica and jizzed on his computer causing the malfunction.
- "The Pancake Joke."
- The return of Paleo after all his sarcastic comments left on all the podcasts since the one he was in.
- Pan requesting donations for his hospitalized female "Tsudere" friend to which he dubs the charity: "Get Well Tsundere."
Yogi Bear Sym-Bionic Titan Teen Titans Reviews
- Pan looking back at his old reviews
HelloOkay, enough of that
Pan: I want to "Tara" apart her ass.
- Pan mentioning this joke about Tara Strong, when saying how much he liked Raven when the show was still on.
- The start of the "In The Cards" review. Showing various horrified reactions to a parody of Sonic Underground's opening theme.
Pan: ...That was a weird way to start a review.
- At the end of part 1 of his Toonami retrospective. Just the casual way Pan says: ''Some people say Toonami was just a bunch of bumpers. I say those people are a bunch of cunts.
90s Kid: You're too old to be watching cartoons. You suck dick.Pan: I'm sorry, I'm such a terrible person for watching a TV show. And I will not suck dick unless you pay me. Some of us do have standards. (The DIC logo then plays.)90s Kid: What video editing software do you use?Pan: Sony Vegas.90s Kid: Can you review Ed, Edd n Eddy?Pan: Soon.90s Kid: Do you have Asperger's?Pan: With a side of fries.
90s Kid: But cartoons now are just so weird.Pan: Yeah, 'cause Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles made so much fuckin' sense! Look, Rambo the cartoon! Ren and Stimpy, Cow and Chicken, that's real intelligent humor! A grown man making little girls out of condiments and ecstasy. Some rich jackoff dressing like a bat, beating up clowns and scarecrows with his underwear on the outside. Is this a superhero comic or Liberache's Wizard of Oz?
- A lot of the latter half of this review. ESPECIALLY the part where he mentions a lot of the cheat codes.
Pan: Anderson Cooper! Watched the movie Looper! Does not feature Bradley Cooper!
- There is also this particular line from the aforementioned review:
- The Unfortunate Implications of Nick or Treat.
So next Halloween, go out to the scariest, darkest neighborhoods you can find, and you SHOW them you're a Nickelodeon '90s kid by shouting the phrase, "NI—" (cut to colorbar and long bleep)
- Pan describes Mega Babies as "Reasons for Planned Parenthood: Exhibit A".
- He even starts out the video by paraphrasing The Ugly Barnacle!
Some cartoons are SO UGLY, that everyone died.
- His response to an Animesque character from a later episode of Dexter's Laboratory:
What the hell is this thing? Ćon Flux?
- And when the next cartoon shown is Ćon Flux:
- "Holy crap! It's Michael Jackson! I gotta go get my autograph book!"
- "Bring mine, too!"
- When Pan says that he likes Peter Chung's work more as an adult than he did as a kid, he says his body wasn't Reggie back then.
- Pan talks about the time he watched 300 with his parents and the sex scene came up and things got awkward.
- On Twelve Ounce Mouse:
Pan: This could be the funniest show in the history of the universe, but alas, we may never know. Because I don't want to look at it.
- During the "Weak Flash or CGI" spot, one of the ones shown is Jimmy Neutron Happy Family Happy Hour.
- One of his descriptions to low-quality CGI TV shows is "environments emptier than my sixth grade birthday party."
- His phone call with "Ringo Starr."
- While describing the Tsundere character, clips of Gaz from Invader Zim are shown. When the first one comes up, the caption reads "That show with Gir".
- Also when describing the Tsundere, he has this to say:
Pan: Cold and hard on the outside, warm and soft on the inside. And I want to get cold and hard on Raven's warm soft insides!Robin: Eat it! She's gonna eat it!Starfire: Mmm! Mmm! She's gonna EAT IT!Cyborg: Meat-meat-meat-meat-meat-meatball! Meat-meat-meat-meat-meat-meatball!
- Pan complains about the failed US Sailor Moon remake, where the titular character isn't attractive, before somebody (Nolan) tells him that she's only 14.
Robin: Pack your things, we're heading for Tokyo.
- Then Zone Tan shows up and tells him the age of consent in Japan is 14.
- Jake Long makes me want to stroke my Jake Shlong! *ding!*
- His criticism of TOM's redesign:
- He describes Toonami shifting its demographic to "stupid babies who don't know how to use the internet".
- When listing off the honorable mentions, he lists the time he had a nose and the time he drew Zone Tan in his style... the latter of which happened mere seconds ago.
- As he's about to close out the video, the cops show up.
Pan: The cops found me! I didn't do anything wrong yet! I gotta get to Japan! Where I'll be free. Free to do what I want. Pan Pizza: Trouble In Tokyo! Only in theaters July 3rd! Rated PG.
- He talks about loving the soundtrack from Pokémon: The First Movie as a kid and his older cousin hating it. Now...
Yeah, that soundtrack was terrible, oh my god! Today you're all complaining about Justin Bieber and One Direction, in the 90's we had 98 Degrees and... Aaron Carter... (shudders)
(M 2 M starts playing)Pan: (retches) Yeah, it is terrible.
- Then he decides to listen to it again for the first time in years.
- "So was I a stupid child for liking it, and are you stupid, too? No. You're stupid in general, but not for that."
- Pan mentions his favorite messages he often gets:
"You like [blank], I lost my respect for you." Basically, this comment means, "PEOPLE LIKE THINGS I DON'T LIKE!"
- After starting off the countdown, it shows a video of the Crazy Frog.
(cut to real #10 spot)
- "Do Archie and his friends really deserve to die?" "YES, THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!"
- Pan lamenting about Class of 3000 ending too soon, until discovering it aired around 2006.
- Sonic Underground is listed as an honorable mention. The reason stated for them not making the list is "Ha ha, NO".
- Pan's comment on Daft Punk's cameo in Interstella5555, and theorizes they went into the cartoon world, saw the Crescendolls, and ripped off their music "just like that tool Chuck Berry ripped off Marty McFly!" Also, he pronounces the subtitle as "The Five-story of the Five-ecret Five-star Five-tystem".
- Pan introduces the completely unexpected top spot:
- How does Pan open the video?
Pan: HOLY FUCK.
- When he tries to explain that the two main characters are ducks that look like frogs, he initially gets the two animals mixed up. And then...
Buhdeuce: But I don't think I look anything like a frog-Pan: (Slightly slurred) Don't you fucking lie to yourself, you look exactly like a frog!
- The show is about the two main ducks delivering bread to other ducks, and then Pan explains that you shouldn't feed ducks bread since they could choke, so the show is essentially supporting animal abuse.
- And this inspires Pan to create a new show: "Tyler Perry presents: Madea Feeds the Dog Chocolate See What Fuck'N Happens".
- In an attempt to make the show more "hip" for the target demographic, the main characters names are Buhdeuce and Sway Sway.
Pan: Now, you ask, "which is which"? I don't care.
- Continuing on that theme, he comes up with some catchphrases.
- How Pan closes the video:
Pan: Breadwinners is terrible, I want Raven to choke me while I scream.
- He places the themes from Fanboy and Chum Chum and Breadwinners at number 7, but can't show them because then Viacom will take the video down, even though it's fair use. To make up for it, he shows the intro to a Hulk show from the 60's.
Pan: You might think this is a Mexican cartoon, but actually, it's Filipino, so I don't have to take the blame for this. (shows a clip from ˇMucha Lucha!) Yes! My people win again! Let's all watch The Book of Life! Only in theaters October 17! ...rated PG.
- On the theme to The Nutshack:
Pan: Hey, hey, you think every cartoon from the 90's was great? No. It wasn't. No, it FUCKIN. WASN'T.
- When discusses the theme for MegaBabies, he starts out the spot by blasting 90's Kids who claim every cartoon from that decade were great. Complete with a chart where "the 90's stuff worth remembering" BARELY TAKES UP A SIXTH OF THE CHART.
- Pan's reaction to the Kamehameha attack being referred as "air-bending"...
Pan: Air-bending...is from Avatar! This movie is like you got your mom to write the script! No, Mom, that is NOT a Pikachu, it is Agumon and he is from DIGIMON!!!!!
- Heck, the entire review could be considered this, since he reviews the movie while drunk.
- Pan mentions how he expected a sequel to the The Incredibles after seeing commercials for Rise of the Underminer
That second Incredibles movie is coming out! (shows Cars poster) It's right around the corner! (shows Ratatouille poster) Right around the corner... (shows WALL•E poster, then Up poster) Yeah... (shows Toy Story 3 poster, Pan is laughing a little) It's comin' out... (shows Cars 2 poster, Pan is practically in hysterics) It's gonna come out, guys! (shows Brave poster) It's coming out! (shows Monsters University poster) Just... You just wait! (starts crying) They're never gonna do it!
- Pan lists off the shows the GBA Video has:
- Pan talks about how the original GBA models didn't come with backlights like the SP model or all current electronics, meaning that if a road trip goes into the night...
Pan: I guess father wouldn't mind me turning on one of these car lights...(turns light on)Pan's Dad: TURN OFF THE LIGHT, I CAN'T SEE!Pan: Yes father! (turns it off)
- And when he gets fed up with the Niko Worm Light:
Pan: You know what, fuck it, I'm turning this light on.Pan's Dad: OH GOD I CAN'T SEE!(cut to a car crashing and someone falling out)
- "Aw shit, son! It's Rugrats All Grown Up! It's the Dragon Ball Z of Rugrats!
- Pan describes the low resolution as "tolerable... like, segregation... I GUESS it could be worse."
- Pan mentions that the GBA Video website is still up.
- Pan describes the brightness adjuster allowing you to give the film "a nice mayonnaise abortion aesthetic".
- One of the pros of GBA Video is the inclusion of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, "the best episode of SpongeMan"... at 240x160 resolution. Then it cuts to a tiny Game Boy in the center showing the episode at its actual resolution, compared to the video's 1920x1080.
- Pan notes that two 30-minute episodes on cartridge comes for "the low price of 20 buttfucks". He then notes that almost the same price can buy an entire season of a show for your iPod.
- "Hey guys, you wanna watch Shrek? You wanna come over to my house, and frickin' watch a 90 minute movie of Shrek, ON MY GAME BOY ADVANCE? Cuz we'll do it!"
- "You can count the frames per second, there's like... three."
- The above becomes funnier when someone said that in the comments, that something very similar happened in real life.
RadioactiveSkulls: I remember in grade 3 someone in my school had a game boy video Shrek cartridge and about 30 kids all huddled around the gameboy would watch it.On a tiny ass screen.30 kids.
- Pan's response to the above is also funny.
Pan-Pizza:Oh my god....
- Pan's response to the above is also funny.
- Just the way Pan opens the video.
Pan: Yo, what up? It's your boy Macklemore and it's February... aka WACK HISTORY MONTH!
- Once again, Pan places Breadwinners on the list, but can't show it because it runs the risk of the video being taken down. To make up for it, he shows a PSA of Captain Lou Albano talking about drugs, which ends with the line "If you do drugs, you go to Hell before you die."
Pan: (Audibly disturbed) WHAT THE FUCK?
- On Beyblade:
Pan: I was 10 when Beyblade came out. I loved Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh!, but even I could have told you that Beyblade was FUCKING STUPID! You're lame by a ten year old's standards! You fail AT LIFE!
- "No, let's not Beyblade. Let us not do such things."
- Pan believes Rocket Power was made by people without dignity or souls (complete with clip from Clerks: The Animated Series).
- "Come on and slam! And welcome to Islam!"
- Pan's reaction to Vexy from The Smurfs 2.
Pan: What is this? An EMO SMURF? WHAT THE FUCK?
- Footage from Alvin and the Chipmunks Chip-Wrecked is labeled "Alvin and the Shitmunks 3".
- Pan absolutely cracking up to the line "A lot of white fish can't do that." in Shark tale:
What? Wha... That doesn't... that doesn't make any sense!
- Pan describes Jake Long as "trying so hard to be black that he bounced off and became white."
- On the cancellation of short-lived cartoon "Da Boom Crew":
Pan: If Warner Brothers was gonna treat a G like that, they should'a [[Pun warned the brother.]]
- The opening:
Pan: Hi. Do you want to date a dark girl, but are deeply afraid of minorities?
- "Top ten goths, YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUHH!!!!"
- And from the description:
- Pan attempts to distract himself from the horrible implications of Gothitelle being able to see when its trainer is going to die by drawing attention to its stubby little legs and calling it a hotdog.
- This glorious bit of trolling:
- This is followed up in a great Brick Joke:
- Pan adds an MLG "OOOOOHHH!" sound after Ruby tells Misery "bad things happen to [Misery] when it's not raining".
- When Pan makes the mistake of saying that lolitas are great while talking about Stocking:
Cop: Police! Get on the ground! Get on the ground! *Sirens whale in the background as footage from "Death race 2010" plays*Pan: Whoa whoa whoa, okay, wait. Lolis and Lolita complex, that's bad. Lolita fashion, that's something completely different. It's really cool, you should see it.
- Pan shows a seemingly innocent clip from Teen Titans... that turns out to be from one of Zone's porn parodies.
Pan: Nobody knows who they are, but hopefully they're single...Girl: It's a guy.Pan: Shut up!
- This comment on Zone:
- "Get in the zone. Auto Zone." It Makes Sense in Context.
- This rather accurate description of the conflict of Game Slave 2:
- Before Pan can announce the number one spot, his little
sisterCISter barges in.
- When Pan finally runs out of dirty jokes to make about Raven, he goes into a Heroic BSOD.
Pan: Adios, my sweet ravioli.
- Pan suddenly bursting into a rant about 90's kids before talking about Bye Bye Beavers.
- When Pan discusses Jojos Bizarre Adventure, he shows some clips of a different "Deo".
- "Cartoon Network paid Boston $2 million in what I call 'please don't sue us' money."
- Pan announces that the number one spot is the infamous "Dead Bart", before Blowing a Raspberry and revealing the real top spot.
- Pan calls Scooby-Doo the Call of Duty of animation.
- STATE UNIVERSITY
- After hearing that one of the scientists is named "Macklemore", Pan inserts some predictable music.
- Pan notes how the gang has no trouble risking their lives to save a virtual pterodactyl, but leave a virtual princess tied up to presumably get eaten by a dragon.
- "Incest, incest, it's the best! Put your sister to the test!"
- When the Phantom Virus reveals his face, "Surprise, motherfucker!" is played over the scene.
- The second time it happens, "WTF BOOM" is used instead.
- "It's a Scooby Doo reunion! Remember classic monsters like the Creeper, and..." (montage of more obscure Scooby Doo villains)
- Pan rages about the fact that it took the gang 32 years (at the time of release) to wise up to the Scooby-Doo Hoax trope, and how they chose the worst possible time to do so.
Pan: But the one time, THE ONE. SINGLE TIME. In the entire series. Of Scooby Doo. As far as I know. They finally learn from past events, and think "Huh, all those other monsters were people in costumes. Maybe this time it'll also be a guy in a costume." As it turns out, they're not guys in costumes. They're legit, virtual monsters!
Pan: Aw man! I was gonna slice you open and sleep inside you, but you unmasked me. (sighs) Darn...
- Pan then invokes the question of "Now What?" if they actually were guys in costumes.
- "Hey kids, if you're too skinny, or too overweight, and don't have this particular body type, Daphne HATES YOU."
- Pan rages about the fact Shaggy only just now remembers the magnets the professor gave them, then rages about how a magnetic field was blocked by his pants, ranting that magnets don't work that way.
- Pan wonders how the virtual gang is doing after finding out they're forced to spend eternity in the virtual world. Cut to the gang staring at the arcade flashing lightning while Running in the 90's plays.
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
- "Your ass is grass, Jimmy Olsen! And I've got the weed! (inhales, then starts coughing) Ooooohhhh, fuck!"
- Pan is baffled by the fact that the villain tried to kill Scooby and the gang after he was denied "some scientist prize project".
Pan: What started out as vandalism, turned into attempted murder. Looks like this criminal's... a douchebag! I'm Sheriff John Bunnell, and Scooby Doo fuckin' sucks!
- His interview with John Dilworth, thought mostly because the interviewee is one of the funniest animators alive:
Dilworth: HELLO, EVERYBODY, THIS IS JOHN R. DILWORTH!! And the R stands for "Rumplestintskin!"Pan: So, how did you get into animation?Dilworth: With a pencil!—-Pan: How did you get into art in general?Dilworth: With finger paints, man!Pan: (starting to crack up): Just answer the question!
- There's also Dilworth initially refusing to mention School Of Visual Arts by name because he doesn't want to give them notoriety without them paying him.