"Before we start, let's recap a little on the whole prequel thing and how it ruined six years of everyone's lives. Even starving African children in Cambodia." Let that sink in. Starving African children in Cambodia (which is next to Vietnam).
"Star Wars Episode I is the most disappointing thing since my son."
The progression of relationship advice that Plinkett gives during Anakin and Padme's courtship. Some of it's actually not bad...but it escalates rather quickly to things like "Supporting Fascism," "Killing Women and Children," "Bringing a Corpse Home," and "Going on a Megalomaniacal Rant."
Mr Plinkett: [on Star Trek: First Contact] Heck, I would have taken any 2-parter TNG episode over this piece of shit. [shows image of Armus from Skin of Evil]
"If I wanted a message I would go listen to my answering machine"
Answering Machine: Hi Mr. Plinkett, Bob Foster here from the Department of Cultural Guilt, uh, just a friendly courtesy call to remind you about the horrible things that you did to the Native Americans. Uh, please continue to feel guilty about this, and, uh, if you have any questions, give me a call back, the number's 202-(Plinkett proceeds to pour coffee on the answering machine, shorting it out)
Even better, it later cuts back to him smashing the machine with a hammer.
"GET OUUUT!!!! GET OUUUUUUUUUT!!!!"
"GET OUTTA MY POPCORN TUUUUUB!!! WRAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!"
Essentially every time Plinkett raises (and reverbs) his voice is memorable for...variousreasons...
A more subtle example is in the Phantom Menace review; he talks about how the hero arc works, and how the hero often gets the girl at the end as icing on the cake, and he plays several such scenes from various movies together as an example...including Willy Wonka hugging Charlie Bucket.
OH NO the timeline changed and Bambi's alive again except now shes my first cat!
After listing practically everything that happens in the new Star Trek movie. "I think I need to go see a therapist after this..." *clip of Deanna Troi* "NO NOT HER--!"
Spock saying "Go to hell."
"Zoe Saldana's there for one obvious reason... (Shows footage of Uhura undressing) She's entirely believable as a Xenolinguistics expert."
This is what they call filler, and its nowhere near as good as the filler they put in Twinkies... Mmmmmm... I like to fuck my cat. (cut to Plinkitt fucking his cat)
Unintentional hilarity results from his cat's reaction during the subsequent "rape" scene.
(clip of Anakin kneeling before Palpatine) "And so Anakin kneels before the monster mash, and pledges his loyalty to the graveyard smash."
Plinkett referring to Palpatine as "Monster Mash" for the entirety of his Episode IV commentary is also sure to make you snicker.
"So Palpatine shows up at the senate to convince everyone that the Jedi- the organization of monks who have been the guardians of peace and justice for 1000 years- are suddenly planning on taking over the world. (impersonating Palpatine) 'Oh, and I just also happen to look and sound like a monster that wants to take over the world now. Don't mind my creepy black cloak, my horribly evil sounding voice or my terrifying face. Also don't mind the fact that I'm yelling about creating a galactic empire run exclusively by me. No no no, you see its the Jedi that are trying to take over. That warranted them all being executed by the army that is controlled by myself without any kind of evidence to prove what I'm saying is true. Yup, we just killed them all, even the children. Then we burned down their temple, and your all just gonna have to take my word for it. Trust me, look at my face. Would this face lie to you?'"
"He [Vader] is not even gonna look into the whole Padme thing and what happened to her. He's just gonna trust Monster Mash, who just got away with lying to the whole universe."
Plinkett melting a Star Wars Episode I VHS tape in the oven and urinating on it.
"After all, these are just simple movies made for kids and not adults at all, which is why they have: Assassination attempts. Sexual innuendo. Decapitations. Kidnap, torture, and suggested rape. Hookers. Boring political dialogue. Forced amputations. Drug-dealing. Mass murder." (cut to sounds of screaming) "Don't try to escape like the other one!"
His attempt to save time on "Cop Dog." Bonus points for realizing it was a bad idea, not because he was completely incomprehensible, but because he forgot to mention a few films. He then tries again only to continue as normal.
"Who was his trainer, Mike Vick? Did you get the joke?"
Fuck Off, Ghost!
"So instead of getting her metrosexual son a haircut and slapping him across the face..."
This is worse than Star Trek: Nemesis.
His ill-fated Kodak promo.
"What?! After fucking ten years, that's all I saved?!YOU PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP!"
The random guy in the background who picks apart Picard's plan to puncture the plasma coolant tanks.
Random Guy: Oh, puncture it. Okaaay... but it seems like it's highly pressurised... (Data gets sprayed with flesh-melting gas) Random Guy: Oh my God...!
Cleaning up cat shit to the tune of La Danse Macabre.
Re-releasing the Phantom Menace review in 3D with added special effects.
After ranting about how if he were in the movie he'd consider Padme "expendable," thinking that she was just a handmaiden who "does the Queen's laundry," Plinkett goes off on this tangent:
"When I was 58 I learned how to do my own laundry. They say the clothes make the man. You know what else they say? … 'Indonesians make the clothes.' … Both statements are kinda true statements. But I really like doin' laundry …"
Plinkett urging people to "occupy George Lucas's front lawn" because he's one of the 1%
Plinkett giving the people he presumes are listening to his commentary while sitting in a theater watching Episode 1 in 3D instructions to do things like raise their hand or talk to the person next to them.
Most videos start out with an introduction, or a set up for a joke. In the Transformers: Rise Of The Planet Of The Revenge Of The Moon review, it starts out with them sitting in awkward, uncomfortable, discontent silence, followed by a clip from the film, as if to say "yeah. We know."
At the end of their Red Tails review, they finally remember that they're supposed to be fixing Plinkett's VCR:
Jay: Well, now that we've successfully ended racism, we should probably get back to work on the VCR.
Mike: Oh yeah! That's a wonderful idea!
Jay: You know more about this model than I do, I'll let you get to work on that.
Mike: Well, the first thing we have to do is this.
Most of the Red Tails review is pretty funny, really...
Mike: Seen any good movies lately?
The Jack and Jill review ends with Plinkett's craaazzzy twin sister coming to stay. And lots of Product Placement. Mike's expression when tentatively nibbling the Dunkin' Donuts is particularly priceless.
Mike: Okay. (reads) "Adam Sandler is a horrible con man..."
Jay: Oh, no, that's the wrong one too.
Mike: How many wrong notes are there?
Jay: I don't know how these all got mixed up in here, but... Let me see... Try this one. I think this is it. (hands note)
Mike: (reads) "We, Jay and Mike of Half in the Bag, are not accusing Adam Sandler of any of his cohorts..." Wait. (erases word) "...or his associates of any criminal wrongdoing. These are merely the opinions of Mike and Jay." Okay! Um... Oh, he stole all the money and embezzled it to all of his friends.
The comments on the destruction Superman causes in Man of Steel
Rich: The headlines the day after aren't going to be "Man of Steel Saves the City", the headlines are going to be "Creepy Alien Harbors the Doom of Us All"!
Their review of Grown Ups 2. It starts with the two of them praising the movie, then two minutes in the blood starts coming.
Fork in the brain. Fork in the brain. Fork in the brain.
During the Pain and Gain review Jay sums up Michael Bay's style as 'a high school jock trying to write a love poem' and gives an example.
Mike making fun of nerdy comic book fans complaining that the ending of Superman II was boring compared to Man of Steel, before going into a stream of consciousness rant about Mandarin's reveal in Iron Man 3.
The conservation about the baby from Twilight, especially Mike's reaction to realizing that Jacob fell in love with the baby. His reaction is even funnier when you remember he said he had no idea what going on in the movie earlier.
Mike: I'm hoping the reason was artistic, like we want the baby's face to look like the little girl's face, not we don't feel like having a baby on set. And we're just gonna get a rubber thing that looks like a baby and imprint a face on it. Because a baby means, I don't know, you have to...
Jay: (nonchalantly) You have to have baby insurance.
Mike: You have to have baby insurance, you know. What if someone drops the baby? The actor drops the baby, you know.
Jay: Or maybe they couldn't find any parents that would allow their child to be featured in a film where Taylor Lautner wanted to fuck a baby.
When running the stream for December 9, 2012, the stream was shut down because of DMCA action after showing the chipmunks singing Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. If you hear anyone saying something about "Fuck DMCA and fuck the Chipmunks", now you know why.
EVERYTHING involving the Showbiz Pizza Bear from the "Night Beast/Trick or Treat/Skull Forest" episode of Best of the Worst. Especially when the damn bear shows up in Trick or Treat completely separate from it being Rich's birthday.
Jack almost destroying the wheel by knocking it over in Wheel of the Worst #5.
The slow burn realization of exactly what the "SOS" video is: it's a Japanese version of a tape put out by the Christian cult called the Family International, featuring music videos with anti-evolution, anti-abortion, rapture and "barcodes are the mark of Satan" themes. The entire segment is astonishing.