Characters / Half-Life but the AI is Self-Aware

Dr. Gordon Freeman

Gordon Freeman

Played by: Wayne

I'm sick of you on every level imaginable.

Everybody's favorite Heroic Mime given a voice, working arms, and four manchildren to take care of.

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• Accidental Murder: In spite of being the only one to try and stop the Science Team from killing random civilians, he frequently shoots civilians by accident.
• Action Dad: Has a son and is able to fight off both aliens, the Marine Corps, and federal law enforcement alike.
• Actually Pretty Funny: Over time, he seems to come to find humor in his companions' antics, at least some of the time.
• Affably Evil: In AI Crushes All Banks he's become far more amoral and violent (and a bank robber), while also being far more cheerful and friendly than he had been originally. Downplayed, since he comes off more as a Lovable Rogue than anything.
• An Arm and a Leg: In Act 3, Part 1, Benrey and Bubby's coup after the lights suddenly go out in the room they were in ends with them lopping off his right arm. It sticks for the rest of Act Three, but gets restored by G Man after they defeat Benrey in Act Four.
• Arm Cannon: In Act 4, Darnold's "potion" causes a fingernail-shooting minigun to grow on his right arm's stump.
• Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: Due to how the VR mod works, Gordon's model stands with a noticeable hunch when viewed by other players. Combined with his movements, it makes him look like a curious monkey, something the cast notices in the Act 1 commentary. This odd quirk further connects Gordon with his actor — it just so happens that Wayne's mascot is a white ape.
• Ax-Crazy: Not as much as the rest of the Science Team, but as his Sanity Slippage increases, he becomes gleefully murderous and grows to enjoy slaughtering his way through marines and aliens, which goes into Blood Knight levels after getting an Arm Cannon. He still refuses to kill civilians, which puts him a level above the Science Team.
• Badly Battered Babysitter: He essentially plays this role to the Science Team.
• Berserk Button:
  • Benrey in general tends to set him off into a rage.
  • Chuck E. Cheese's is a restaurant, not a family entertainment center.
  • Post-Black Mesa he seems to hold a particular disdain for the U.S Military, derisively refering to them as "Boot Boys" and slaughtering them wholesale. Given what he went through thanks to them, it's hard to blame him.
• Blood Knight: He starts to enjoy killing aliens and marines, but after getting his arm cut off and having it replaced with an Arm Cannon, he really becomes one of these with the perverse glee he takes in slaughtering them.

  Gordon: Let them know our pain! FUCK THE TROOPS!

  • Played straighter in AI Crushes All Banks, where he seems to be robbing banks out of both a hatred for the government and his love of killing cops, and he gets so caught up in attacking cops that he accidentally shoots a few civilians.
• Bomb Throwing Anarchist: It takes surprisingly little prompting for this mild-mannered scientist to come to terms with wiping out his country's military. Even after escaping Black Mesa, he will gleefully dish out violence against state actors if the need arises.
• Butt-Monkey: He’s subject to dealing with the Science Team's abuse and harassment of him, alongside dealing with the horrific effects of the Resonance Cascade.
• Characterization Marches On: A minor example. When he first meets Tommy, he derides him as a freak and had disdain for him. This derision is never shown again and is, instead, directed primarily toward Benrey.
• Classical Anti-Hero: Fraught with self-doubt and fear for his life, he is often crestfallen by his inability to save others. He eventually drifts into Unscrupulous Hero territory when he makes peace with his Blood Knight tendencies, and starts actively taking the fight to the government in areas full of civilians.
• Clingy Costume: The HEV suit is revealed to be this in Act 3, as it was "designed to never come off"—which is a major problem for Gordon, since the suit is also what's been attracting the US military to Black Mesa.
• Cop Hater: While he generally tolerates the Black Mesa security force, he otherwise has no sympathy for police. Given the cop he spends the most time with, it's hard to blame him.
• Deadpan Snarker: Often snarks at the deranged antics of the rest of the Science Team.
• The Dreaded: Benrey often hints that the rest of Black Mesa is scared of him even before he goes on the warpath. Considering that the way his sprite is positioned makes him appear as a gaunt Humanoid Abomination with a weird walk, it's not without reason.
• Eldritch Abomination: Coomer considers him one, due to being the player character.
• Empowered Badass Normal: After gaining his Arm Cannon, he not only acquires serious firepower, but also gains Super-Strength in his right arm, and eventually unlocks Devil Gun Mode.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Despite taking up bank robbery simply because he wants to, he draws the line at shooting civilians.
• Fan Boy: Of video games, particularly Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days.
• Fourth-Wall Observer: A notable aversion. Despite being the Player Character controlled and voiced by wayneradiotv, Gordon is treated as having no knowledge of the real world or that he's in a video game, with all the psychological damage from experiencing the events of the game first hand that implies. Once he starts going delirious from blood loss after his arm is chopped off, he starts making fourth wall breaking jokes due to his worsening mental state, chief among them being his references to Justin.tv and Gabe Newell's knife collection. Due to his state however, he only seems half aware of what he's saying.
  • Zigzagged in the final battle against Benrey. He finally comes to terms with the world being fake by confirming to Dr. Coomer that none of what they are experiencing is real, acknowledging his role as the Player Character in a video game, but still treats his experiences as if they were real, as to his companions, that is reality.
  • On a meta level, when the series was being livestreamed, Wayne of wayneradiotv framed his performance as needing to be in character for the "AI" to respond properly to him. This is for the most part edited out of the official Act uploads of the series, but still leaks out on occasion when the antics of the Science Team leaves him Corpsing, or moments such as when Coomer and Bubby reverting to default scientist NPCs during The End:
    Wayne: (As Gordon) ...What is fucking going on!? (whispers, as himself) What is going on with the AI?!
• The Gambling Addict: In the AI Crushes All Banks stream, the penultimate level is the Golden Grin Casino. Before the robbery takes place, however, Gordon and the rest of the gang see fit to gamble a little, and Gordon gets a little sucked in.
  • Later on, even in the middle of a firefight, he finds a machine that is still working and stops participating to play the slots, even neglecting to help up Benry when he is down.
    Gordon: DUDE-D-DON'T TOUCH MY SLOTS!! What if I win this one, Asshole?!
• Go Mad from the Revelation: Inverted. His increasing insanity causes him to realize his world is fake.
  • Possibly played straight, since the fourth wall references he makes all occur after his encounter with the Coomer clones, which made it clear to him that the world is fake.
• Handicapped Badass: He loses his ability to fire a weapon after his right forearm is severed, but he is still adept at surviving the horrors of Black Mesa and guiding his companions through the same.
• Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: In Act 1's commentary, Wayne and the gang decide that Gordon's picture of Joshua may be a case of this, since Joshua isn't mentioned anywhere else in the streams. Holly posits that Gordon has the picture (which came from a photo frame obtained at a Target) to show the world that he has a wife, family, and fulfilling private life.
• Helmets Are Hardly Heroic: Averted in comparison to his usual depiction, as Gordon's model is shown to have a helmet. He does take it off during the Dance Party Ending.
• He Who Fights Monsters: In the Act 3 Commentary video, he expresses his belief that this has happen to him, noting that he is "barely human".
• Hidden Depths:
  • In the first episode, he mentions he's a father and shows off a picture of of his infant son Joshua.
  • He's a big fan of Elvis Presley, and geeks out when he meets Elvis' ghost.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's a pretty nice guy for the most part and is very protective of Tommy and the most moral of the Science Team, but he's very short-tempered.
• Large Ham: Has a tendency to start shouting at the top of his lungs when in a combat situation or when he’s exasperated by the Science Team. Which is a lot.
• Limit Break: His Arm Cannon has what Darnold refers to as a "Devil Gun Mode", in which the gun overheats from usage and starts firing at significantly faster rate.
• The Load: Becomes this after his arm is cut off, until Darnold's potion gives him a minigun hand that is.
• The Mad Hatter: He is well-aware of his Sanity Slippage, and eventually he realizes it has made him unfit to lead the team.
• Nice Guy: Whenever he's not extremely stressed out or arguing with Benrey, Dr. Coomer and Bubby, he’s actually pretty nice and gets along well with Tommy and Darnold. By AI Crushes All Banks, he’s become far more friendly with the Science Team, though by this point he’s become a violent bank robber.
• Never Hurt an Innocent: In his misadventures, he never (deliberately) brings harm to scientists or civilians, even after accepting his role as a Bomb Throwing Anarchist. His companions, though...
• Not So Above It All:
  • His arguments with Benrey occasionally result in Dr. Coomer having to be the Only Sane Man between them.
  • His argument with the G-Man over whether Chuck E. Cheese's is a restaurant or not also shows this.
• Only Sane Man: He's the only one in Black Mesa who has a lick of sense, and is the sole voice of reason amongst the Science Team. Even after he goes insane, he still comes off as the sanest person around.
• Papa Wolf: For Tommy.
• Parental Substitute: He serves as one of these to Tommy.
• Sanity Slippage: Over time, he becomes noticeably more manic and stressed-out, and resigned to the deaths of (almost) everyone he meets. It seems to be partly due to witnessing the horrors of the resonance cascade, but mostly because of his companions.
  • Downplayed in AI Crushes All Banks, by which point Gordon has clearly gone insane and at some points comes off as crazier than the Science Team, but, being the Science Team, most of the time he's relegated to being the Only Sane Man.
• The Sleepless: Averted. Whereas in the original game he stays awake for almost 3 days straight, here, he and the NPCs stop to sleep at the end of each act.
• Straight Man: He's the one being tormented by the other four characters, and he seems to be the only one with any hint of rationality.
• Token Good Teammate: Played straight and then downplayed. He's the only one to object to the Science Team's more amoral actions, but following his Sanity Slippage he becomes far more amoral and unhinged, but he still continues to object to things like shooting civilians.
• Tragic Dream: His dream of being a Justin.tv streamer. Even if the world weren't ending all around him, the site would shut down not too long after the events of the game.
• Trauma Conga Line: Oh boy. First the Resonance Cascade, then watching multiple people die at the hands of his teammates (and then they die themselves), having the military try to shoot him down, gets betrayed by some of the only people he has and loses his arm, learns that the world might be fake via Dr. Coomer's clones, is mauled by Bubby's protoypes, and in the end fights for his life with an alien god Benrey. invoked Poor fucking guy.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Becomes this with Dr. Coomer at the end of the series.

The Science Team

In General

Dr. Coomer: "Don't fuck with the Science Team!" ^note From left to right: Gordon Freeman, Dr. Coomer, Bubby, Tommy and Benrey

SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP

The four weirdos that keep harassing Gordon Freeman as he tries to escape Black Mesa.

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• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: In the Kayfabe of the story, they're all AI-driven NPCs in a Virtual Reality version of Half-Life that react to how the player plays the game and learn. This very quickly starts going off the rails, especially when Dr. Coomer discovers they live in a virtual world.
  • There's also a moment in the middle of Xen where, seemingly for no reason at all, Dr. Coomer and Bubby get briefly overridden by their default Half-Life A.I.s and run around, shouting in pain and spouting generic Half-Life scientist lines.
• Anti-Hero: The majority of them, being rather unscrupulous and, at times, killing the innocents who they're supposed to help or just leave alone. By the Payday stream, they've driven the ire of not just the US Military but the police as well, wiping out entire armies of them during their heists.
• Ax-Crazy: They're very trigger-happy, whether their target is an alien, an innocent bystander, or each other.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Between Dr. Coomer, Bubby, Tommy and Benrey, the only member of the group with any common sense is Gordon.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: They all constantly act silly, but when they have to fight off against aliens or the military, you can bet they're gonna kick their asses!
• Fire-Forged Friends: By the end of the series, they’ve formed something approximating this, with the exception of Benrey.
• Five-Man Band: The members of the Science Team seem to swap between and encompass multiple roles. Most consistently, Gordon is The Leader, though he gave up that position to Tommy, who is also both The Heart and The Lancer. Benrey seemed to either want, or believe himself to be the Lancer, but between his betrayal of Gordon Freeman, and the fact that he's directly behind the Resonance Cascade, that wasn't going to last. Dr. Coomer swaps between The Big Guy and The Smart Guy depending on what's funnier at the time, and Bubby is The Smart Guy, when he's not being deliberately incorrect^note "It's just brain cancer, you can live with that!". This is Subverted with Darnold who seems like he's going to be the Sixth Ranger, but decides on backing out when he finds he's not prepared for the amount of death he's likely going to be surrounded by.
• Hidden Depths: They are all big fans of Elvis Presley.
• Made of Iron: The cast goes through a bunch of life-threatening injuries and suddenly finds themselves no worse for wear. The only exception is Benrey, who goes out of commission for a bit for a while and is explicitly said to come back from the dead.
• Magic Music: All of them have access to the Sweet Voice, an ill-defined power that has many uses depending on the color and tone chosen.
• Never My Fault: Gordon is entirely responsible for everything that goes wrong, according to them. They thankfully abandon this mindset by the time of AI Crushes All Banks.
• Nice Mean And In Between: Tommy is the childlike, kindhearted Nice, Dr. Coomer and Gordon are the irascible but generally good-hearted In-Between, and the egotistical Bubby and Token Evil Teammate Benrey are the Mean.
• Red Shirt: A few non-sentient NPCs accompany them in Act 1, all of whom are killed before the end of the first video.
• Too Dumb to Live: All of them have no regard at all for their personal safety, and have no problem wildly charging into battle with the U.S. Military and the invading aliens. But they come back, so it's okay.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Soda. Whenever Gordon breaks a vending machine, they're quick to swarm it.
• Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: If you can even call it that. They repeatedly injure and kill each other, and Benrey actively goes out of his way to harm them. Averted by Gordon and Tommy, who genuinely care about each other and never get into arguments.
• Took a Level in Kindness: In AI Crushes All Banks, after becoming bank robbers, they stop shooting civilians and blaming Gordon for everything that goes wrong.
  • In the original series, they actually did try to stop killing civilians (except for Benrey), but their recklessness always resulted in them accidentally killing the civilians.
• True Companions: They become this at the end of the series with the exception of Benrey. After all the hardships and obstacles they face, they're shown attending Tommy's birthday party side-by-side.

Benrey

Benrey Benrey Benrey

"Do you have your passport?"

Played by: Scorpy

See what happens when you have your ID and your Pass Port?

A very belligerent security guard, he is constantly suspicious of Gordon, repeatedly asking him for his passport. He possesses the "Black Mesa Sweet Voice" which involves him emitting a tone while colored balls of light spill out of his mouth. Gordon has no idea what the hell that is and for the most part, neither do the viewers.

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• Abhorrent Admirer: Benrey lusts after Gordon (and his feet), but Gordon is not interested at all.
• Actually Pretty Funny: He starts cackling maniacally after Gordon quips "Damn, you wait for no one." after Benrey jumps off an elevator.
• Adaptational Villainy: Subverted. Gordon initially assumes he is Barney Calhoun, but he quickly clarifies his name is Benrey, not Barney.
• Almighty Idiot: invokedAccording to Wayne, he may not even be conscious of his own actions until spoken to.
• Always a Bigger Fish: To an unfortunate headcrab that tries to jump on his head and zombify him, since it repeatedly fails to do so and bounces helplessly in the air before inexplicably catching fire.
• Ambiguous Situation: It's not at all clear what Benry actually is, his relationship to the skeleton, or even if the Benry everyone is familiar with is the real him. His brief OOC moment in part 3 after the skeleton falls asleep, appearance in the credits, and Insane Troll Logic in the climax all point to the skeleton being his "true form" and the security guard being just an unfortunate victim of it, but it's vague to say the least.
  • His Sony fanboyism in later episodes. Character Development, reverse-Brainwash Residue from his host body, or something he's always had and is only just now revealing?
  • Also, the Skeleton is seen peacefully attending Tommy's birthday party, muddying the issue even more. Did the Skeleton undergo a Heel–Face Turn, was the Skeleton the one brainwashed by Benrey rather then the under way around, or was said Skeleton a separate entity?
  • Muddying issues further A security guard model can be seen at the concession stand during the Framing Device of the first cast commentary in a Freeze-Frame Bonus. Is it just a random guard, or is it Benrey Back from the Dead? The Act 3 commentary video reveals that it's indeed Benrey, but opens the question of if he's real or a figment of Gordon's fevered imagination.
• Ambiguously Evil: As the series goes on, Benrey becomes more and more suspicious while never outright showing anything that clearly pinpoints him as a traitor. He eventually turns out to have been the Big Bad all along.
• Back from the Dead:
  • The only character so far to explicitly die, but it only lasts an episode.
  • After being killed at the end of Half-Life 1, Benrey manages to come back and hacks into Gordon's stream in PAYDAY 2. The Act 3 commentary video, set prior to ACAB, also has him appear, and Gordon explicitly points this out.
• Bad Boss: According to Dr. Coomer, he's the Security Chief. He still insults other guards in front of their faces, claiming that they don't pay attention on the job and stand around thinking about Froot Loops all day. After the Resonance Cascade, he belittles and kills the guards he meets for no reason.
• Bad People Abuse Animals: He shoots several pigeons for not having their passports.
• Beware the Silly Ones: For all his comedic traits, Benrey, like the rest of the Science Team, is extremely dangerous and can kick ass with the best of them. Unlike the Science Team, he has absolutely no scruples or empathy whatsoever.
• Big Bad: He turns out to be the series' equivalent to the Nihilanth, and it's implied he caused the Resonance Cascade on purpose.
• Big "NO!": Parodied in the final fight. Instead of a dramatic, bellowing "NOOOOOO!!!" he lets out a whiny and petty "Noooo-uh!"
• Body Horror: During the Final Battle, his body grows, contorts, and shifts, and occasionally glows red.
• Blown Across the Room: He's accidentally punched by Dr. Coomer whilst in a silo and falls to his death yet again when he's punted a far distance.
• Blue-and-Orange Morality: Benrey has a very strict moral code. Unfortunately, said moral code is completely incomprehensible, and no one can figure out what the hell it is. Eventually, even the rest of the Science Team starts to be disturbed by him.
• Brainwashed and Crazy: It's implied the skeleton is doing something to him to make him more hostile and immortal. Maybe.
• Brown Note: His "Black Mesa Sweet Voice" can cause insanity as much as it is used to placate beings.
• Came Back Strong: After dying the first time, Gordon finds him impossible to get rid off, much to his frustration.
• Camera Fiend: Loves taking pictures. He carries a camera around with him just in case he sees things he finds interesting, which happens once every few hours.
• Cerebus Retcon: His behavior is put in a far darker light after he has Gordon's arm cut off, with his actions afterwards mainly being played for very dark laughs at best.
• Characterization Marches On: In Act 1, there were very rare occasions where Benrey actually got along with Gordon, and could occasionally be civil towards him. Throughout rest of the series, this happening is completely out of the question, and the two are constantly fighting.
• Character Tics: Benrey often sits more than any member of the main cast, and when he regenerates or teleports is always sitting straight up upon discovery. His tendency to do this makes Gordon think that the skeleton following him around was Benrey after his initial death. One of them might be, though.
• The Chew Toy: If any of the Science Team is going to be maimed, injured, or killed and Bubby isn't around, it's likely to be Benrey. After Gordon gets his Arm Cannon, it gets even worse, since Gordon goes out of his way to injure or kill Benrey out of revenge.
• Cloudcuckoolander: His odd mannerisms, self delusions, childlike tendencies, tendency to use Insane Troll Logic, and general demeanor make it clear that Benrey and reality parted ways a long time ago.
• The Comically Serious: With few exceptions, he doesn't raise his voice, and he treats every situation as though it were completely serious, no matter how ludicrous and bizarre things get.
• Compulsive Liar: Whereas the scientists often seem to just forget what they're doing, Benrey seems to be trying to flat out gaslight Gordon considering how rarely he ever doesn't contradict himself, insisting he's never killed anyone, let alone an innocent person, despite having killed only scientists and other security guards.
  • Believing Their Own Lies: Later events indicate that Benrey believes his own bullshit, and that his memory of events is extremely skewed. For example, during his Motive Rant, he claims that the Resonance Cascade only happened because Gordon came to work with his fly unzipped, which somehow resulted in Benrey being unable to play PlaystationPlus.
• Cuckoosnarker: Benrey has a very tenuous connection to reality, but he does occasionally get pretty snarky, though not as much as Bubby.
• Deadpan Snarker: With extra emphasis on the deadpan, but Benrey can occasionally break out a snark every now and then, usually at Gordon's expense.
• Defrosting Ice Queen: A downplayed trope. Initially only joining Freeman to get his passport, he gets a little less rigid over the course of the story, joining in on the antics of the scientists sometimes. He still wants that passport though.
• Deuteragonist: His actions drive much of the plot and conflict throughout the series, even setting the plot into motion with his not-so accidental causing of the Resonance Cascade, and he gets a ton of focus, especially after his betrayal of Gordon and the subsequent reveal of him being the Big Bad.
• Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: G-Man appears again in Act 4 to speak with Gordon... and Benrey both perceives him and manages to completely ruin his speech by repeatedly asking for his credentials and a code for a free month of Play Station Plus. Even Gordon is amazed.
• Disproportionate Retribution: His betrayal is mainly brought about because Gordon didn't have his passport.
• Disney Villain Death: Falls down an elevator shaft in one episode, though he pops up again in the next episode.
• Dull Surprise: Benrey usually reacts to everything around him with a bored apathy, whether it be harassing Gordon, killing people, or mourning his friend Josh.
• Easily Forgiven: In AI Crushes All Banks, the Science Team immediately forgives him for trying to murder him when he asks to rejoin them. Gordon goes along with it, but makes it clear that, while he may forgive Benrey, he sure as hell hasn't forgotten his betrayal.
• Eldritch Abomination: Turns out to be one. The G-Man even says that Benrey's exact species "is on a need-to-know basis".
• Establishing Character Moment: He is introduced harassing Gordon over his passport and lying that his fellow guard is angry at Gordon, and then proceeds to make up lies about everyone is afraid of Gordon and that he wants to steal stuff in spite of all evidence to the contrary. He also uses the Black Mesa Sweet Voice on Gordon and tries to convince him to jump down an elevator shaft, establishing him as a Lawful Stupid Consummate Liar Jerkass.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Zig-Zagged in regards to Tommy Coolatta. Until he was revealed to be an Eldritch Abomination, he treated Tommy like an old friend. However, when he is revealed to be behind the Resonance Cascade, he tries to get Tommy along with the rest of the Science Team killed. However when Tommy is captured and brought to the White House in AI Crushes All Banks, he's one of the first to say they need to rescue him. This is shortly followed by him suggesting they trade Tommy for a Beyblade. But he also does try to rescue Tommy when they get to the White House regardless, seemingly trying to comfort Tommy during his asbestos poisoning episode.
• Even Evil Has Standards: During the Act 3 Commentary video, he is disgusted when he realizes Gordon didn’t flush the toilet he had used, in spite of preventing him from washing his hands a moment earlier. He is also legitimately confused when he finds a baseball inside of a toilet, which is probably the only time he actually questions the insanity around him.
• Evil All Along: He turned out to be "the space god" that the Science Team was hunting down. It is also implied that he was the one who caused Resonance Cascade all along.
• Evil Is Petty: Benrey orchestrates an entire alien/military invasion on Black Mesa all because Gordon didn't have his passport/had a dick slip on the job. Lampshaded by Dr. Coomer when he was describing him and Bubby.
  Dr. Coomer: I think they're just spiteful.
• Ex-Big Bad: He's no longer an active threat to the Science Team in AI Crushes All Banks.
• Faux Affably Evil: There are a few rare moments where he seems to show that he genuinely considers the Science Team to be friends and comes off as downright amiable, but his actions at the end of the series makes it clear that it's just an act. Though with Benrey, it is impossible to tell what his motivations or true feelings are.
• Flanderization: AI Crushes All Banks ditches his Lawful Stupid traits in favor of playing up his hatred for Gordon and his delusional view of the world. Justified, as by this point Benrey is committing bank robbery, so it wouldn't make sense for him to carry on his Lawful Stupid schtick, but it's still somewhat jarring to not hear him bring up passports and the like. This is actually lampshaded by Gordon, who confronts Benrey about this. Naturally, he just responds with a nonsequitur about Gordon Freeman's feet.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: The first time he dies, none of the Science Team really cares except for Gordon, who is more concerned with their blasé attitude towards his death (and that toilets randomly fell on top of his corpse) than anything else.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: Gordon HATES him with burning passion (especially after Gordon's arm is cut off) and other members of the Science Team don't care that much about him either. The only reason they bear with him is that he just won't die.
• The Gadfly: In general, Benrey loves riling Gordon up, mocking him, or pranking him. This increases several times over when he starts opening up in the final act.
• Horrifying the Horror: Benrey manages to not only perceive the G-Man, but make him visibly uncomfortable just by repeatedly asking for his credentials and a PlayStation Plus voucher code.
• Humanoid Abomination: Admits pretty early on that he isn't human. Given his ability to come back from the dead, this probably wasn't a joke. He's likely either a clone like the other Black Mesa personnel Gordon travels with, or is fully aware he's an AI.
  • When everyone (except Freeman) finally reveal their passports, Benrey's name repeats over and over, going off the page and extending out into the air beside it.
  • Turns out, it's all but confirmed that the skeleton is Benrey's true form.
• Hypocrite: Benrey often acts like he’s dedicated to enforcing law and order in Black Mesa, but usually, this just comes down to harassing Gordon whenever he wants and breaking the law whenever it suits him.
• I Have Many Names: He's alternately been called "Security Chief Boper", "Stong", "Bipple" and "Benny".
• Insane Troll Logic:
  • His argument to Gordon in Xen practically transcends insane troll logic into a Word-Salad Horror (or Humor) version of logic. To wit, Gordon forgetting to zip his fly at work one day (which Gordon claims didn't actually happen) forced Benry to work late, and miss out on his chance to play Heavenly Sword ("Sony's Halo") with his friend, which made him have to beg people for a PS+ account, lose his friend, maybe caused the resonance cascade, and makes Gordon responsible for everything that has happened to him. It makes even less sense in context.
  • Benrey pretty much runs on Insane Troll Logic, mainly because of his extremely warped view of how the world works. His Never My Fault tendencies and Self-Serving Memory also help him turn pretty much everything bad that happens into Gordon’s fault, no mater how impossible.
• Inspector Javert: He won't stop until he gets Gordon's passport.
• I Reject Your Reality: He's convinced Gordon is a murderous, thieving Jerkass and he's a friendly, normal person, and ignores all evidence to the contrary.
• I'm a Humanitarian: At one point, he starts licking the corpse of a dead security guard, much to Gordon’s disgust.
• Jerkass: It's not Benrey's eccentricities that make him hard for Gordon to tolerate — it's that Benrey is the most clear-cut asshole of the group. His behavior only gets worse over time. He regularly harasses and gaslights Gordon about various things, especially the passport, mouths off at him like a bratty child, murders people just to spite Gordon, and gets HECU to cut off Gordon's arm.
• Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: His apparent Pet the Dog moments with Tommy become a lot less sincere when Scorpy revealed what Benry meant about his revelation that his "let Tommy go" remark. The comment was directed not at his skeleton minions, but the science team — Benrey was encouraging Gordon and co. to leave Tommy for dead.
• Kick the Dog: He mocks Gordon for losing his arm, which Benrey had had the US Military do.
• Killed Offscreen: After the final stream of Half-Life: Alyx but the Gnome is Too Aware, a stream starring Benrey was meant to start on Holly's channel, but he died in a boating accident beforehand and couldn't make it.
• Kill It with Fire: During the Bank Heist, Benrey wields a flamethrower (that he claims is powered by his hatred for Gordon) against the police.
• Knight of Cerebus: After being revealed as an Eldritch Abomination, outside of a few humorous moments, he is played entirely seriously as a threat. He loses this status after his return in AI Crushes All Banks and the Act 3 Commentary Video.
• Kubrick Stare: Does this multiple times throughout the series, most famously when asking for Gordon's passport in Act 1.
• Lack of Empathy: Benrey shows no guilt or empathy for his actions, no matter how cruel they are.
• Laughably Evil: Benrey is a freaky anomaly but he at the same time he is prone to acting like a pre-schooler, taunting Gordon for losing his hand, and his primary motive is that he couldn't play PS3 with his friend. Benrey's antics will usually elicit baffled laughter from Gordon.
• Laughing Mad: On very rare occasions, Benrey will uncharacteristically burst out into hysterical and deranged laughter.
• Lawful Stupid: He's convinced Gordon's a troublemaker or even a thief because he didn't present his passport at security despite the fact that the policy had only been adopted that day. He continues to do this even after Gordon shows him his passport. Coomer also all but confirms that his betrayal and attempt to have Gordon killed was all because of the passport nonsense.
• Mad God: He seems totally convinced that he is a friendly, normal person that Gordon relentlessly bullies, unaware or unconcerned that he is a mass-murdering Reality Warper that arguably caused the Resonance Cascade and is tearing the dimensions apart.
• Magic Music: He's a prolific user of the Black Mesa Sweet Voice.
• Major Injury Underreaction: While all the Science Team is like this, it's most pronounced with Benrey because Gordon actively attempts to hurt or kill him at various points. He barely responds, if at all, to things like getting whacked in the head with a crowbar or filled with bullets.
• Malicious Misnaming: He starts calling Gordon "Gordon Feetman" after trying to take a photograph of his feet, though this quickly descends into him revealing his very weird obsession with Gordon's feet.
• Manchild: While usually a Psychopathic Manchild, on occasion he acts like a pre-schooler, like cheerfully shouting "ROAD TRIP!" while Bubby attempts to drive the Science Team out of Black Mesa, and believing Lightning McQueen is real and gets into a fierce argument with Gordon for pointing out that Lighting McQueen is a fictional character.
• Mask of Sanity: While clearly insane before, after he reveals his true nature as an Eldritch Abomination Benrey launches into a bizarre Motive Rant that manages to baffle even Dr. Coomer and Bubby.
• The Millstone: During AI Crushes All Banks, he is this for the Science Team after joining them in their bank robbing spree, mainly due to his extreme incompetence and his constant attempts to murder Gordon.
• The Mole: Implied to be working with the Hazardous Environment Combat Unit, though the Science Team (except Gordon) ignore it.
• Moral Myopia: After finding Josh's corpse, Benrey begins mourning (as much as Benrey can mourn), only to immediately shoot another guard "for symmetry."
• Motive Rant: Parodied. In Xen, he claims Gordon forgetting to zip his fly at work one day (which Gordon claims didn't actually happen) forced Benry to work late, and miss out on his chance to play Heavenly Sword ("Sony's Halo") with his friend, which made him have to beg people for a PS+ account, lose his friend, maybe caused the resonance cascade, and makes Gordon responsible for everything that has happened to him.
  • invokedAccording to Scorpy, Gordon did leave his fly open, but didn’t notice, and Benrey immediately crouched down and zipped Gordon's fly while in the middle of harassing him over his passport.
• Narcissist: During the Act 3 Commentary video, he stares in the bathroom mirror and admires his reflection, before making out with it.
  Benrey: Behold, the reflection of perfection.
• Nerd in Evil's Helmet: He's a homicidal Mad God and also a total PlayStation and Sony geek.
• Never My Fault: Even more so than the rest of the team, since he blames everything on Gordon, including things that he himself had done and that Gordon had no way of doing. His Motive Rant consists of him rambling about how Gordon going into work with his dick out (which never happened) stopped him from getting to play Heavenly Sword on PlayStation Plus, which made him have to be mean.
• no punctuation is funnier: Benrey's captions are often written this way, alongside all lowercase letters, indicating his dispassionate nature.
• Not So Stoic: On some very rare occasions he expresses emotions other than his usual bored apathy, like cackling maniacally or when he starts angrily screaming after Dr. Coomer accidentally blocks the exit to Gordon's locker, trapping Benrey and Gordon.
• Passive-Aggressive Kombat: His constant pestering of Gordon and his accusations can come off as this, due to his eerily-calm voice.
• Obsessive Hobby Episode: In a way. In later episodes, he becomes really obsessed with Playstation Plus, and Heavenly Sword, to the point that his Motive Rant basically consists of rambling about wanting to get an account so he could play it. Notably, it seems to appear (or at least begin dominating his conversations) only after his O.O.C. Is Serious Business moment, detailed below.
  • There's also his weird obsession with Gordon's feet that pops up in the last two episodes.
  • In AI Crushes All Banks, he’s become obsessed with John Wick.
• Odd Friendship: Subverted. He seems to have one with Tommy, who is the only person he actually seems to get along with, but he tries to kill him at the end of the series.
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Subverted. He claims to have saved the world from a nuclear bomb created by Sony CEO Jack Tretton and Nintendo CEO Reggie, but it's clearly more of his Blatant Lies and no one believes him.
• Oh, Crap!: After he and Gordon fall into a radioactive pit, Benrey has one, albeit delivered in his usual bored monotone.
  Yeah, I'm sorry, we're kinda fucked. (drops dead)
• One-Winged Angel: His player model grows giant when they reach Xen and starts to contort grotesquely in his boss fight.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
  • Part 2 has Benrey, for what appears to be the first time in the series, express fear and worry for Gordon when being attacked by the Black Mesa Golem Ape.
  • After mocking Gordon for his severed hand throughout all of Act Three: Part Three, as soon as the skeleton falls asleep after he checks its passport, he stands back up, looks around, and with a genuinely confused/concerned tone of voice says "Where'd- Why are we here? What happened to your arm?"
• Pet the Dog:
  • Spares a security guard who owed him three dollars because the guard was his best friend, though Bubby shoots the guard immediately after for owing him five dollars.
  • During the final battle, he tells his skeletons to let go of Tommy. Gordon and Dr. Coomer are both surprised that he's choosing to be nice. This one was a case of miscommunication however as according to invokedWord of Scorpy he was trying to tell the science team to just let Tommy die.
• Pop-Cultured Badass: Benrey is very well-versed in pop-culture, and makes references to being a fan of Cars, Heavenly Sword, and John Wick.
• Punched Across the Room: A minor running gag is this happening to Benrey, usually at a very pissed Gordon’s hands.
• Psychopathic Manchild: Benrey generally acts like a playground bully who has been given a position of authority and a gun, and frequently annoys Gordon with childish taunts. He also has a tendency to murder people.
  • During the final battle, Benrey amps up the "psychopathic" by wildly swinging between trying to get the team to stop shooting him by claiming he has to shoot back to defend himself and gleefully threatening them.
    Benrey: (cheerfully) I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU GUYS TO SEE HELL!
• Puzzle Boss: In-universe. Benrey's invincible until everyone's passports get destroyed, and even then it still takes a lot to put him down.
• The Quisling: It's heavily implied that he's with the Marine Corps. Later reveals make it seem as if the HECU marines are the Quislings in the equation.
• Rasputinian Death: It takes the entire Science Team unloading on him, Dr. Coomer engaging SuperPlayer™ Mode, Sunkist's intervention, and Gordon performing a hammer-fist from high up to put Benrey down for good once the passports are gone.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: Judging by what he says, he seems to have been the calm Blue to Josh's violent Red.
• Sadist: He enjoys making people, particularly Gordon, squirm. During the Final Battle, he starts toying with the Science Team when he could easily kill them just so he could make them suffer more.
• Sanity Slippage: After revealing himself to be the True Final Boss after the Science Team goes to Xen, he launches into a truly bizarre Motive Rant and starts rambling at length about his delusions and Self-Serving Memory while simultaneously trying to kill with Gordon, Coomer, Tommy, and Bubby and acting like he’s still their friend. After coming Back from the Dead in AI Crushes All Banks, it’s clear his defeat has taken its toll on him and left his already fractured AI in shambles, and he’s even more delusional and childish than he was in the original series. His appearance in the Act 3 Commentary Stream has him about as sane as he was originally; of course, this doesn’t say much.
• Selective Enforcement: Murder, vandalism, and stealing is fine with him as long as Gordon isn’t the one doing it.
• Self-Serving Memory: He actively ignores things that happened and his own deeds, makes things up, and edits his own memory so that he can continue to believe he is a friendly, normal person while Gordon is a murderous, spiteful Jerkass.
• Skewed Priorities: He treats mundane and non-existent problems as matters of life and death that require lots of gun usage and murder, and combat situations as though they were completely mundane problems that can be stopped by flashing out his badge and asking the enemy to not fire at him.
• Small Name, Big Ego: Benrey acts like he is extremely competent at his job, yet he repeatedly proves to be absolutely incompetent at everything he does.
• Smug Snake: Benrey has a very, very high opinion of himself and his intelligence, and is extremely self righteous, but it really shows during the climactic fight against him, where he taunts the Science Team and acts as though he is easily going to defeat them, at some points deliberately drawing out the battle just to smugly mock Gordon.
• Spell My Name With An S: The subtitles for the highlights call him "Benrey", but his name is spelled "Benry" on his passport.
• The Stoic: He reacts to most situations with apathetic boredom, contrasting with the rest of the cast. Even finding his friend Josh dead doesn’t even make him raise his voice.
• Strolling Through the Chaos: Benrey just walks at a brisk pace no matter what he's doing or where he is. This is especially noticeable whenever he's present for boss fights or in the middle of group chaos (i.e. destroying Wikpedia's servers).
• Technologically Blind Elders: While not very old, he breaks Darnold’s laptop while trying to play video games in it by pouring soda on it to make the games go faster.
• Then Let Me Be Evil: He claims this is what happened to him during his bizarre, incoherent, and delusional Motive Rant.
  Benrey: I didn't have a big plan. I was 'sposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAAAAAD, so I gonna be baaaaaad.
• They Killed Kenny Again: He dies the most out of the Science Team, and his deaths are usually the only ones that are explicit. Lampshaded at one point, where Benrey spots his dead body in the same room as him and asks who killed him.
  Benrey: Oh, who killed me?
  Gordon: What? (sees a dead guard across the room from the Science Team) Oh, that's you. You know, you've actually died a lot.
  Benrey: Really?
• Token Evil Teammate: While he's not unique in that he kills Black Mesa personnel for questionable reasons, he is seemingly the only one to do it just to make Gordon squirm. He also helped try to turn Gordon in to the HECU guards with Bubby, and is eventually revealed to be the final boss.
• Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket: Time and time again, Benrey completely fails to operate any kind of machinery. When attempting to steal a car, he starts using a flamethrower on it to "calm it down", he attempts to cool down coolant tanks by setting them on fire, and he destroys Darnold's laptop when he poured soda on it so that the laptop would "go faster".
• Took a Level in Dumbass: In AI Crushes All Banks, where he’s even more incompetent and delusional than he already was, lighting things on fire because he believes it will help, claiming that Lightining McQueen is real, and attempting and failing to fend off cops and soldiers with a small knife. If the stream is to be taken as canon, it's likely his already corrupted AI took a pummeling during the finale of the series.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: After betraying Gordon to the US Military and having Gordon’s arm cut off, he manages to become even more of a dick, cruelly mocking him for losing his arm repeatedly. It gets even worse when he reveals himself as the True Final Boss, at which point he finally becomes an out-and-out villain and tries to murder the entire Science Team.
• True Final Boss: He replaces the Nihilanth in this series. The science team has to go and destroy their own passports to defeat him.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Assuming he didn't know his actions would cause it, his assuming Gordon was an unauthorized person in the Anti-Mass Spectrometer because he didn't present his passport despite multiple people making it clear that Gordon was meant to be there and causing Gordon to rush the sample into the beam caused the Resonance Cascade and the deaths of thousands of personnel.
  • The Reveal that he's the equivalent of the Nihilanth means that he more likely than not was absolutely "witting".
• Villainous Breakdown: After the Science Team gets to Xen, he reveals himself to be an Eldritch Abomination and, after petty insults and harassment don’t drive them off, launches into a truly bizarre Motive Rant consisting of lies and his own delusions that even Dr. Coomer and Bubby find insane.
• Villainous Crush: invokedWord of God is that he’s “thirsty” for Gordon, and some of his actions suggest that he does indeed have an unrequited crush on Gordon.
• Villain Decay: In AI Crushes All Banks, he is even more delusional, incompetent, and childish than in the original series, as well as lacking any of his powers, and he winds up easily defeated by Gordon, the US Military, and the police.
• Villain Deuteragonist: He gets a ton of focus over the course of the series and his actions drive much of the plot, and he's unquestionably the evilest of the Science Team and is later revealed to be the Big Bad.
• We Used to Be Friends: Tries to pull this on Gordon in Act 4. It fails when he starts citing conversations and events that never happened, according to Gordon.
• Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Played with. In the final battle, Benrey claims that he didn't want to be the bad guy, but he has to because Gordon was rude to him. He insists that he's only firing at Gordon because Gordon fired first.
• Wrong Genre Savvy:
  • He thinks that he is the hapless, friendly Butt-Monkey, having to deal with the violent Cloudcuckoolander Jerkass Gordon, when in reality, the opposite is true.
  • Some of his dialogue and actions also make it seem like he thinks he and Gordon are in a romantic comedy and that they have Belligerent Sexual Tension, when the attraction is entirely one sided on Benrey’s end and Gordon genuinely hates him.

Tommy Coolatta

Tommy Coolatta

"I'm always squeezing the trigger the entire time, are you not supposed to be do that... be doing that?"

Played by: Baaulp

Grab a soda, it'll help you see faster!

Easily underestimated for his warbling speech and choice to eat soda for lunch, this youthful scientist is actually a fully-capable nuclear engineer and a master of biotech.

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• A Child Shall Lead Them: After losing his arm and realizing that he is mentally unfit to continue leading the team, Gordon declares Tommy the new leader. Bubby thinks this is ridiculous. Of course, Tommy is only a child in mannerisms.
• Adaptational Attractiveness: In-universe. During Act 2's commentary, Tommy comments that he's being portrayed by Alexander Skarsgård in the movie made of the Science Team's adventures.
• Aerith and Bob: Aside from Gordon, the main group consists of unusual names, from an Unfortunate Surname in Coomer, an unusual surname in Bubby, and portmanteaus of common names in Benrey and Darnold, and then there's just plain old Tommy. Played with however, since his last name is quite unusual.
• Baby Of The Bunch: He's 36, described as a "mere child" by Bubby. This isn't even mentioning his actual behavior.
• Badass Adorable: Being The Heart of the team, he's the most innocent and kind-hearted of the bunch. But of course, he's every bit as capable of fighting as the others.
• Big Damn Heroes: Bails Gordon out when the army of Dr. Coomer clones attack him.
• Bizarre Alien Biology: The inside of his mouth is transparent.
• Ditzy Genius: Tommy has a childish demeanor, an obsession with soda, and nonexistent trigger discipline, but he is a fully-capable nuclear engineer (according to the standards of Black Mesa) and bio-engineer. He also routinely reads books and Wikipedia articles for leisure.
• Drink-Based Characterization: A post-credits scene reveals that he enjoys a mint julep on a hot summer day, showing there is more to him than his Manchild exterior.
• Embarrassing Last Name: His last name "Coomer" is a slang term for a porn addict.
• Fluffy Tamer: His dog Sunkist appears to be some abomination of science, but he's still Tommy's Only Friend all the same.
  Gordon: Your dog can fly?
  Tommy: He's the perfect dog!
• The Heart: Definitely the most heartfelt and compassionate of the group. He's vocally horrified by the coup against Gordon, attempts to console Gordon with soda after their battle against 300 Coomer clones, and cries out in terrified distress when Forzen threatens to kill his dog Sunkist.
• Heartwarming Orphan: He doesn't have parents and was apparently raised by Black Mesa. It however turns out that the G-Man is his father.
• Hypercompetent Sidekick: Downplayed; While Tommy is about as prone to shenanigans of the other members of the group save Gordon, he generally acts not unlike an actual FPS protagonist when the chips are down, to the point where Gordon considers him a second in command, if only by default.
• Last-Name Basis: He is the only member of the group to call Gordon by his surname, emphasizing his youthfulness. Though it's always "Mr. Freeman", not "Dr. Freeman", which is also precisely how G-Man prefers to address Gordon. He does let one "Gordon" slip through near the end, however.
• Like a Duck Takes to Water: He never handled a gun before the incident, but as soon as he gets his hand on a pistol, instinct sets in.
• Like Father, Unlike Son: Outside of a slight physical resemblance, Tommy is nothing like the G-Man.
• Line-of-Sight Name: Tommy was an orphan found in a Dunkin' Donuts, so he chose his own last name based on the Coolatta found on a menu.
• Mad Scientist: Downplayed. He is involved with Black Mesa's questionable nuclear engineering, but otherwise he's fairly reasonable and competent by Black Mesa's standards.
• Make Sure He's Dead: While he's already characterized as trigger happy, Tommy makes sure to shoot several dozen rounds of ammo into each of the executed Coomer clones so he and Gordon can be sure he killed them all.
• Manchild: A more muted take. He's 36 with the halting speech patterns and interests of a young boy, but he's still an accomplished scientist and has more mature interests in addition to the childish ones. To wit, in Act II, Forzen succeeds in bribing him with a new Beyblade toy. It's strongly implied that Tommy just wanted the toy and nothing more, since he immediately returns to Gordon when he learns Forzen tricked him. Baalup describes Tommy as a fusion between Pee-Wee Herman and Twin Peaks's Lucy Moran.
• Meta Guy: Sometimes, Tommy will point out the invokedFridge Logic in things you wouldn't normally expect someone like Tommy pointing out.
  Tommy: What advantage does the biology [in Xen] have in attacking everything that comes next to it?
• Mistaken Age: His name and manner of speech lead the science team to act like he's a child, but he's thirty-six.
• Mushroom Samba: Starts suffering from hallucinations of Sonic and Star Trek characters in the bank robbery stream during the White House raid, apparently getting high off insulation in the walls (which, according to Tommy, hasn't been changed since Lincoln).
• Nice Guy: While extremely Trigger-Happy, he’s still the kindest and most moral member of the cast outside of Gordon.
• No OSHA Compliance: Discussed and defied. Tommy insists that everything in Black Mesa is built to code. Giant reactor with pools of green sludge? All government-approved, including the bullsquids in it. "We're allowed to have 5% [of bullsquids] in it." The big, sparking generator with huge electrical arcs is OK, because that's just how they power up televisions. And every reactor has a cache of grenades that is mandatory to be there in case of giant tentacle monsters.
• Only Sane Man: Compared to the rest of the scientists, at least. While weird, he doesn't have the same recklessness that Coomer and Bubby has.
• Precision F-Strike: Tommy calls the alien engineering on Xen "fucked up." This is pretty much the only time he's cursed in the entire series.
• Propeller Hat of Whimsy: Tommy's signature accessory in highlight reels and art is a red and yellow propellor cap, signifying his childlike personality. He was given the hat in the series proper during Act 4.
• The Quiet One: Easily the least talkative of the main cast, even when being spoken to.
  Gordon: We gotta teach Tommy how conversations work. He doesn't answer questions.
• Reckless Gun Usage: Nothing can seem to convince him not to point his gun at people when he's talking, and he's always squeezing the trigger even when his magazine is empty.
• The Reliable One: While Gordon can always count on Coomer for power, Tommy is the only member of the Science Team that he can always count on to stay on his side or keep on task. Throughout the stream and just before the final battle (in the original recording), Gordon tells Tommy as much.
• Rhymes on a Dime: His "translations" of the Sweet Voice always rhyme. Except in the first half of the first act.
• Signature Headgear: Tommy is almost always depicted as wearing a red and yellow propeller hat, though he doesn't start wearing one in the series itself until Act 4. When he gets it, Gordon comments that he feels like Tommy's always had the hat and he only just now noticed, referencing the fact that Tommy's worn one in all of the highlight reel thumbnails.
• The Smart Guy: Somehow becomes this, with his vast knowledge of Black Mesa's safety codes and his ability to translate the various colors of the Sweet Voice.
• Token Good Teammate: The only of Gordon's companions that doesn't (intentionally) shoot innocent people, and is the only one to protest Benrey's coup.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Soda, Sunkist especially.
  • He also likes M&Ms, since Bubby was able to use them to bribe him into helping the Science Team commit bank robbery.
• Uncertain Doom: At the end of the ''AI Crushes All Banks" stream, Gordon and the Science Team are knocked out before they can rescue Tommy from the walls of the White House. According to Tommy, he had gotten bored and left, however, it should be noted that Tommy is unreliable at this point due to having gone through asbestos poisoning and still talked about seeing Neelix. The worst is further cemented by Wayne telling the chat they had gotten "the bad ending."
• Undying Loyalty: He's the only one who always remains on Gordon's side no matter what.
• Vague Age: His age is given as 36 despite his behavior being closer to a 5 year old, but a cut line has him state that Sunkist (who he created) is a million years old. Considering he's the G-Man's son, his age is probably harder to quantify than it would be otherwise.
• Vocal Evolution: Initially had a higher pitched and more childish voice, but in Act 2 onward, he has a deeper voice closer to Baaulp's normal speaking voice.

Dr. Harold P. Coomer

Harold Pontiff Coomer

"Wikipedia is how we earn seventy-three percent of our research funding!"

Played by: Holly

Look Gordon, ropes! We can use these to help with pits!

A scientist who tries his best to act as Gordon's tutorial NPC, hampered by his increasingly erratic and buggy AI.

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• Abnormal Allergy: Radioactive waste, allegedly. Whenever Science Team encounters toxic leaks, Dr. Coomer complains that he's allergic to "green goop". He never displays any symptoms, though.
• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: There is something deeply wrong with him beyond merely Artificial Stupidity.
  • After encountering Forzen, he numbly crouches with a blood-covered face, repeating "ᴋɪʟʟ" to himself in a distinctly non-Coomer voice with his captions becoming a darker shade of green.
  • When he uses his SuperLegs to jump over the cliffside, he is horrified to find there is no world outside the map.
  • After betraying Gordon and amassing an army of his clones, he reveals that he suffers immense pain when the game is turned off, and attempts to possess Gordon so he can escape. He only returns to normal when he finds this plan won't work.
• Arm Cannon: After being seen with a rocket launcher after being told to lower his weapons, he comments that it's just his arm.
• Artificial Stupidity: Doesn't seem to realize that the Barnacles aren't ropes, no matter how many times he gets captured by them. He also frequently experiences voice line priority overrides, where whatever he's saying will be interrupted by a line the AI perceives to be of higher pri-HELLO, Gordon!
• Ascended Extra: In the original game, Coomer’s name is briefly seen in a locker and he never appears in person. Here, however, he’s one of the main protagonists.
• A-Team Firing: When he gets the SAW; behind-the-scenes commentary reveals that the SWEP is badly optimized for GMod and has such excessive recoil that it's impossible to aim with. The in-game effect is Coomer jerking around like a maniac while firing the SAW and failing to hit anyone.
• Ax-Crazy: While the whole party sans Gordon is pretty shoot-on-sight, he is particularly bad, especially after going outside of the world's boundaries. After Benrey's coup, Gordon is reasonably scared of him more than anyone.
  "You're not a war criminal if there's no more military to judge you!"
• Beware the Silly Ones: He's the goofiest of the Science Team, but he's also a violent Blood Knight with Super-Strength.
• BFG: By the end of the whole ordeal, Dr. Coomer ends up with both the Rocket Launcher as well as the FN M249 SAW, which he earlier called "the big one".
• Blood Knight: Occasionally shows shades of his fearlessness and love for combat, especially when he's up against HECU marines. At one point in Act 1 Gordon asks him how old he is; Coomer responds with "Old enough to know better! Let's go!" and plunges straight into a pit.
  Coomer: I've never felt more alive than I have now!
  • He also makes it clear his goal is to wipe out the entire U.S. Military.
• Bomb Throwing Anarchist: He really, really enjoys dishing out violence against state actors, and makes it his goal to eliminate government groups such as the military and the police.
• Breakout Character: In the first couple of episodes, while his eccentric nature made him stick out like a sore thumb, he was no more important then the rest of of the science team. After the livestream of Act 3, Coomer was given a theme titled 'There's Nothing There' for the abridged version, and was later given 'Hello, Gordon! (Dr. Coomer's Bumpin' Mix)' for the finale's credits, making him the only character to receive two character themes, with Benrey receiving just one. And while she didn't appear in Real-Time Fandub's take on Until Dawn, his VA played a snarkier Expy called 'Dr. Green Z. Hill', who claims to have worked with Coomer once.
• Broken Record:
  • "Hello, Gordon!"
  • "Look, Gordon! Ropes! We can use these to help with pits!"
• Catchphrase: "Hello, Gordon!", and "Don't fuck with the Science Team!", as well as "Help me Gordon!" whenever he gets caught by a barnacle.
  • In the final act, "Hole!"
• Character Development: While at first nothing more than a Cloudcuckoolander, after seeing outside Black Mesa he becomes aware he’s in a video game and steadily goes even more insane and violent than he already was, as well as gaining Humanoid Abomination attributes. This culminates in him trying to possess Gordon and use his body as a puppet, but after this fails, he decides to aid Gordon and slowly grows to care for him, to the point of comforting him (in his own weird way) while trapped in Xen.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Coomer doesn't have a rational thought in his head.
• The Cloud Cuckoolander Was Right: Turns out you CAN use the barnacles to get across pits, if you attach them to your hand and use them as a grappling hook.
• Cool Old Guy: He's around 80, and, among feats of badassery, once punched the top off a tank.
• Corrupt Corporate Executive: Downplayed. Out of the cast, he's implied to be the most high-ranking in the Black Mesa corporate hierarchy and is involved in several of the more out-there projects, but he’s a Jerk with a Heart of Gold at worst and is pretty low-ranking in the grand scheme of things.
• Cuckoosnarker: He's surprisingly witty and snarky when not rattling off non-sequiturs and babbling nonsense.
• Cyborg: Has power legs which allow him to jump at least several stories high, Black Mesa Power Lungs that let him breathe underwater, limb enhancers powerful enough to overpower a massive hydraulics system, and an artificial colon.
• Deadpan Snarker: When he isn't babbling non-sequiturs, he can be surprisingly witty.
• Deconstructed Character Archetype: Of the Fourth-Wall Observer. Dr. Coomer becomes horrified upon learning that he is in a video game, going mad upon realizing that there is nothing beyond the boundaries of the game's map. Whenever the game is turned off, Dr. Coomer feels immense pain akin to being torn apart atom-by-atom and slowly grows even more insane then he already is. When Gordon has his hand sliced off, Dr. Coomer attacks him because he's the Player Character and tries to use his stump as an opening to leave the artificial world for the real one. Even when calmed down and returning to be an ally of Gordon, Dr. Coomer shows no joy in his existence as a video game NPC.
• Deuteragonist: He serves as the tritagonist, getting as much Character Development as Gordon and Benrey do and helping drive the plot, albeit to a lesser extent than them.
• Dimensional Traveler: After Gordon disappeared, he seemingly started travelling through different games in search of something. He can be heard and briefly seen at the Denny's in Albequerque while Walter and Jesse ruminate on what they'll do about Gus.
• Easily Forgiven: Dr. Coomer is pretty easily forgiven after the encounter with his clones, partly because Gordon has no one else other than Tommy backing him up.
• Everybody Has Standards: He's definitely a loon whose perception of reality is hazy, but even he is unsure what sort of game Albequerque is supposed to be in.
• Expendable Clone: Many of them populate Black Mesa's science department. Which he kills on sight so he can gain their power.
• Extreme Omnivore: He will gladly drink standing electrified water and alien urine off the floor, and can swallow an entire radio whole.
  Dr. Coomer: Gordon, I'm full.
• Failed a Spot Check: Constantly mistakes the tongues of barnacles for ropes.
• Fan Boy: Of Super-Punch-Out!!™.
• Feel No Pain: He lost the ability to feel pain three years ago.
  • However this may not be entirely true since he refers to feeling pain in several other instances, such as just after his clone army attacks Gordon, when he claimed he could feel everything they felt as Tommy shot them.
• Fourth-Wall Observer: Dr. Coomer knows he is in an artificial world, feels pain when the game is turned off, and knows that Gordon goes to another world when he dreams.
  • He also knows Gabe Newell for reasons he cannot explain.
    Coomer: (sounding legitimately unsettled) Why do I know him?
  • This winds up being Played for Drama as during the final leg of the game, Coomer is the only "NPC" who cottons on to the true nature of their existence and becomes very depressed over the idea that his life isn't real. In spite of this, he goes on to become Gordon's most steadfast supporter.
• Go Mad from the Revelation: He uses his powerful legs to jump outside the boundaries of the map, only to be faced with the horrifying implications thereof.
  Coomer: There's nothing there.
• Good Old Fisticuffs: He always wanted to be a boxer, as reflected in his fighting style. He is also stated to be the founder of Black Mesa's underground boxing ring.
• Grand Theft Me: He attempts to use his Clone Army to kill Gordon and use him as a skin suit to escape to the real world.

"There's an entrance in your suit, Dr. Freeman, AND I WANT IN."

• Grappling-Hook Gun: When his AI gets unstuck on referring to barnacles as ropes, he keeps advising Gordon to use one as a grappling hook (something not possible in Half-Life until Opposing Force). Gordon is surprised to realize he had one in his inventory the whole time and they use them to get around the giant pits of the rocket test chamber.
• Heel–Face Revolving Door: An army of his clones attempt to kill Gordon and use the opening in his suit caused by Benrey and Bubby removing Gordon's arm to take control of his body to escape the virtual world, but the last one standing congratulates him and Tommy for killing the others and isn't hostile towards them. Even so, his comments about how he's only non-hostile because his plan of climbing inside Gordon to "wear him like a puppet" didn't work mean it's hard to tell if he really is on Gordon's side or not. He ultimately lands on "Face".
• Heh Heh, You Said "X": “Hole!”
• He Knows About Timed Hits:
  • He is seemingly stuck in tutorial mode for most of the episodes, trying to tell Gordon about obvious things like "medical kits can be used to repair injuries!" when they're many hours into the journey. He also warns Gordon about incoming threats long after they show up. Or sometimes even things that aren't threats.
  As the team shoots at moths around an outdoor lamp: "Look out, there's a dangerous moth up ahead!"
  • This becomes an Exaggerated Trope later on in the series when he also starts instructing Gordon in the use of features which the game doesn't have, such as beating a staff ghost around On A Rail for a Gold HEV Suit, and checking the minimap to locate the current quest objective when they get lost in Interloper.
  Gordon:I don't have a minimap, bro.
  Dr. Coomer: (sounding quite distressed) Wha- why... not..?
• Hidden Depths: He's an aspiring boxer, and initially pursued a career in boxing before becoming a scientist.
• Humanoid Abomination: He smells through his mouth, can ingest solid metal, and grows more powerful by killing his own clones, among many other horrifying anomalies of his biology.
• Hypocritical Humor: He cheerfully refers to Black Ops by crass nicknames such as "hotted boobies". When Gordon does the same, Coomer tells him not to be so crass.
  Gordon: Hey man, you said that first, and you can't just turn around in it when I say it.
  Dr. Coomer: Gordon, titty boob huge fuck.
• I Call It "Vera": He refers to his M249 SAW as "the big one".
• Ignored Epiphany: Played for Laughs. Almost immediately after he realizes the Barnacles are not ropes, he mistakes the same Barnacle he had pointed out for a rope and immediately runs into it.
• Innocent Innuendo: Dr. Coomer will loudly state blatant sexual innuendos with a straight face, if there even innuendos at all.
• Informed Ability: Is implied to be a master at using "The Big One", which is just a military-grade M249 SAW. All Coomer does is wildly flail around while firing it, hitting absolutely nothing. He can't even hit the dead body of a H.E.C.U grunt, which Gordon lampshades. The behind-the-scenes reason for this is that the SWEP was poorly optimized for GMod, giving it excessive recoil.
• Inherently Funny Words: He manages to make the name "Gordon" sound funny due to just how many times he says it.
• Insistent Terminology: No matter how much anyone corrects him (even himself), Coomer almost always refers to the Barnacles' tongues as "ropes." He even tries using them as such, whenever he can.
• It's All About Me: Downplayed. At times, Dr. Coomer can put his desires over the rest of the group and is pretty egotistical, but he’s generally a nice enough guy and a loyal friend.
  Bubby: Oh well, no one deserves anything!
  Dr. Coomer: I deserve everything!
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He grows into one of these towards the end of the series, and cements his status as one when he comforts Gordon in his own odd way while trapped in Xen.
• Large Ham: "DON'T FUCK WITH THE SCIENCE TEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!"
• Last-Name Basis: He's only referred to by his last name or the title "Dr. Coomer", with his first name never being uttered in the series. invokedAccording to Holly, his full name is Harold Pontiff Coomer.
• The Lost Lenore: Parodied. He had a wife, "but they took her in the divorce". She apparently looked like a Vortegaunt.
• Mad Scientist: He's a scientist, and he is absolutely batshit insane. It's also implied he helped with Black Mesa's more... out there projects, like the Pita Cutter, replacing the water with Powerade, and making new and improved nuclear bombs.
• Motive Rant: After the final Dr. Coomer clone gets killed by Tommy, he telepathically enters Gordon's head (who is already having a meltdown, by the way) to discuss his existential dread.
  Dr. Coomer: GORDON. Everytime you go to sleep I can feel my body TORN apart, ATOM by ATOM. It's agonizing, Gordon. I've SEEN outside Black Mesa, Gordon. There's nothing. But I know YOU. There's a world outside here, Gordon. AND I NEED YOU TO TAKE ME THERE...
• The Nicknamer: Coomer is the one who offers enemy names to the gang, including "Peeper Puppies," "Helicopter Heap" and "Hotted Boobs." He tells Gordon that nomenclature is no small matter, though.
• Odd Name Out: He's the only NPC of the group whose name doesn't end with "y".
• Only Sane Man: On very rare occasions, he plays this role to the rest of the Science Team.
• Pet-Peeve Trope: He hates anything with a Sickly Green Glow, like the green sludge spills from the nuclear reactors. As he says, he's "horribly allergic!" (To radiation?)
• Power Makes Your Voice Deep: When in SuperPlayerMode, he speaks in a very deep voice.
• Running Gag: Him saying (and interrupting himself with) "Hello, Gordon" and him referring to Barnacles as "Ropes", then mentioning how they "can be used to help with big pits" then yelling "Help me Gordon!" when he inevitably gets caught.
• Sanity Ball: Occasionally shows signs of rational thought, especially when paired up with Bubby.
  Bubby: It's just brain cancer, you can live with that.
  Dr. Coomer: I don't think you can live with that.
• Sanity Slippage: After realizing he is in a video game, Coomer goes even crazier than before, though he doesn’t let this slip until he tries to wear Gordon as a skin suit and calms down immediately afterwards.
• Shipper on Deck: For Gordon x Benrey.
  Dr. Coomer: You'll just have to kiss Dr. Freeman after the test.
• Sir Swears-a-Lot: While not as bad as Bubby, he has a tendency to point out any Innocent Innuendo and refer to some enemies by extremely crass nicknames.
• Super Mode: His SuperPlayer feature activated with PlayCoins turns him into a vaguely Hulk-shaped beast of a man with a very deep voice and Power Fists.
• There Can Be Only One: He regularly kills his clones when he encounters them, which only makes him more powerful.
• Trade Snark: Any time he mentions PlayCoins™, they will always be subtitled this way. Same goes for any other named product, like Super Punch-Out!!™.
• Unfortunate Name: According to Holly in the Act 1 Commentary, the moment she saw "Coomer" written on one of the lockers, she instantly adopted the name for her character. However, unlike what the internet neologism implies, Dr. Coomer isn't a chronic masturbator. The decision caused a mild conflict of interest between Holly and Gir. He also wanted to choose "Coomer" for his character, for the same reason.
• Virtual Pet: Behaves like this sometimes, often proclaiming at random that he’s thirsty, full, or hungry.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: With Gordon at the end of the series.
• Was Once a Man: It's implied he became emergent after his encounter with future Gordon caused him to gain his future self’s memories.
• Welcome to Corneria: Has a tendency to say "Hello, Gordon!" to the point that it becomes his unofficial Catchphrase.
• What the Hell, Hero?: Briefly calls Gordon out for shrugging off Darnold's pleas that the Science Team's violence is too much for him.
  Dr. Coomer: The horrors of war can break anyone Gordon. There's no need to be so heartless.
• With Cat Like Tread: In Act 2, the team has almost escaped outdoors. Gordon decides to scout ahead for danger, so he urges the Science Team to remain quiet. Coomer... does not:
  "LOOK, GORDON! WE MADE IT TO THE SURFACE!"

Help me, Gordon!

Bubby

Bubby

"Alright! Let me demonstrate how GOD DAMN SMART I am!"

Played by: Gir

Shut the fuck-

Foul-mouthed researcher and "designated puzzle god" of the party, he is Black Mesa's attempt at creating the ultimate scientist, with mixed results.

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• Ambiguous Gender Identity: Possibly doesn't have any gender, owing to his status as an Artificial Human.
• Artificial Human: The man says himself, "I was born down here!" The Act 2 Cast Commentary describes him as being the result of Black Mesa scientists slapping chemicals together until they got a person. However, Black Mesa didn't get it in one.
• Artificial Stupidity: If there are explosives, he will run into them.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: As much as he has trouble with explosives, heights, etc., he shows surprising aptitude with puzzles and is probably the most capable member of the team at maneuvering Black Mesa's Malevolent Architecture. Behind the scenes, this is because everyone but Gir forgot how to play the original Half-Life. invoked
• Butt-Monkey: If any of the Science Team are going to be caught in an explosion, be maimed, injured, or blunder into a trap, it’s going to be Bubby.
• Captain Ersatz: Being an Artificial Human created in a tube in order to create the perfect scientist, his backstory is highly evocative of Shadow the Hedgehog's. As shown in the final boss fight, he can even homing attack!
• Catchphrase: "Oh yes!"
• Comically Small Bribe: He offers 5 dollars to Gordon to free him from a tube after siding with a coup that resulted in his arm getting cut off. Gordon accepts so that he can trade for a PlayCoin with Coomer and because he's convinced Benrey is the bigger threat. And as it turns out, he doesn't even have the money on him.
• Cool Car: Drives a Cadillac during ACT 4, if only for a few minutes.
• The Ditz: Repeatedly shows he has a lack of self-preservation skills, runs into obvious traps, and injures himself.
• Drives Like Crazy: Attempting to drive the team away in a Cadillac he discovered, within the space of minutes and within the confines of a single parking garage, Bubby gets into a Austin Powers parking situation, rams a security guard, somehow manages to get turned around and nearly drives back out the way they came, then speeds full throttle into a solid metal gate hard enough to almost give Gordon whiplash.
• Dumbass Has a Point: While his reason for destroying Wikipedia is insane, it did cut off the funding for the U.S. Military.
• Easily Forgiven: Even though he helped Benrey and the HECU "disarm" Gordon, within a few episodes he's basically accepted fully back into the group. Might be due to Gordon considering Benrey, HECU, the skeleton, Dr. Coomer, and/or any or all of the above to be a bigger threat.
• Everyone Has Standards: He betrayed Gordon to the military, but he considered them cutting off his arm to be fucked up.
• Expendable Clone: In a tragic aversion of You All Look Familiar, the scientists that resemble him actually are his clones. Not that he especially minds seeing his own dead bodies, possibly because they're less terrifying dead than alive.
• Flawed Prototype: Earlier versions of him are stored in the Lambda labs, and escape containment before the party arrives there. They behave like crawling Fast Zombies from Half-Life 2, and are just as terrifying. They also reappear in Xen when the gang is trying to destroy Bubby's passport.
• Freudian Excuse: Deleted scenes show Bubby’s behavior is due to him having had knowledge injected directly into his brain without gaining any information about how to interact with other people and having had been kept separate from his clone family and having no interactions with others except the uncaring Black Mesa staff after he was created
• Funny Background Event: If he is ever separated from Gordon for long, you can count on him hollering in pain in the background.
  • Hilariously, due to how chaotic the final battle was his big moment wound up being one of these in the full stream. Wayne's edited version added a zoom in to make it clearer that he was using a Shadow the Hedgehog SWEP to do homing attacks on Benrey.
• Hypocritical Humor: When one of the (non-sentient) NPCs begins following him around, he complains to Gordon that he couldn't possibly imagine what it's like to be constantly followed by an idiot who won't shut up.
• Jerkass: He is definitely the most abrasive of the Science Team, and generally acts like an egotistical prick, particularly towards Gordon, even selling him out to the US Military.
• Kavorka Man: In the Act 1 Q&A, Gir mentons that Bubby is a heterosexual man, but he gets around quite a bit for someone his age.
• Last-Name Basis: As shown by the locker room at the end of the game, Bubby is his surname. He's never known by anything else.
  • invokedWord of God has stated that Bubby is his only name. Considering the fact that he's an artificial human made by Black Mesa, it makes sense that he wouldn't have a family name.
• The Load: He will frequently run ahead into danger and get himself thoroughly boned, forcing Gordon to bail him out. Often transforms into...
  • The Millstone: Whenever explosives are involved, you can count on him detonating them inches away from civilians and party members.
• Lovable Coward: Always the first to panic when something goes wrong, usually because of his own poor decisions. Pivots into Dirty Coward territory when he sells out Gordon to the military, then begs for forgiveness after he's found trapped in his tube.
• Ludd Was Right: He is convinced that there's too much information in the world, prompting him to destroy Wikipedia's servers as well as any military intel the party discovers. Borders on Evil Luddite from Gordon's perspective.
• Miles Gloriosus: He considers himself the strongest, smartest, and most capable member of the party. His track record of fleeing combat while screaming in terror would say otherwise.
• No Social Skills: Deleted scenes show his behavior is caused by having had knowledge injected directly into his brain without giving him any information on how to act around other people or apply it.
• Percussive Maintenance: He appears inside the partly-exploded computer in the prologue of the game, saying that he's "gonna need a wrench" to fix what went wrong with the computer.
• Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: After helping Benrey with his coup, he gets trapped in his old test tube.
• Sir Swears-a-Lot: Far and away more vulgar than the other members of the Science Team, giving even Gordon a run for his money.
• Small Name, Big Ego: The most likely member of The Science Team to brag, and the least likely to then follow it up. He does have his moments, but in a World of Badass where nearly everyone who isn't a Red Shirt is an Eldritch Abomination of one stripe or other, it's hard to stand out.
• Sophisticated as Hell: Has one of the filthiest mouths, despite being one of the most knowledgeable characters.
• The Starscream: A rare "heroic" example. He believes he would make a better leader of the Science Team than Gordon or Tommy, and does betray Gordon at one point. After being Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves and Easily Forgiven he consigns himself to merely grumbling, though.
• Teleport Gun: Bubby picks up a Displacer-like gun at some point which he uses to open a portal to the past when trying to destroy everyone's passports.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: Grows far more egotistical over the course of the series.
• Unstuck in Time: Getting "blasted into yesterday" by a rocket launch test turns out to be only the first of many instances where he's flung randomly across time. This works to his advantage in the final battle when he warps Gordon to the past to destroy his own passport.
• Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: He has a fear of heights, as first mentioned while climbing up the elevator shaft from the test chamber. He frequently complains whenever he finds himself near a steep drop, which his teammates consistently ignore.
• Your Head A-Splode: He is biologically engineered to do this if he learns the specifics of how he is cloned.

Darnold

Darnold

"HEY! HEY, HEY! HEY! You gotta step away from my research."

Played by: Logmore

You've... disrespected my potions. Which I don't like.

Another scientist that the gang encounters later on in the series, who's the head of Black Mesa's mixology department.

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• Actual Pacifist: He leaves specifically because of the violence surrounding the Science Team. When he rejoins them, he's acting on the sidelines out of the action as mission control.
• Ascended Extra: In the AI Crushes All Banks stream, he becomes the Mission Control for the Science Team, helping give them info on their heist.
• Card-Carrying Villain: Heavily downplayed. He casually mentions that he and the rest of the mixology department are working on an "evil flavor" of Powerade, but he's otherwise fairly nice and helpful.
• Large Ham: Whenever he stars talking about DEVIL GUN MODE!
• Only Sane Man: Despite being weird, he cannot stomach the gang's killing and ditches them shortly after joining.
• Rocket Boots: Darnold has a pair on him that he uses to flee when things get too violent for him.
• Mission Control: Acts as this to the Science Team during the bank robbery stream.
• Put on a Bus: He leaves the gang after realizing how violent they are and is never seen again.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Decides not to join the gang after seeing Gordon shoot down several HECU marines with his Arm Cannon. He then shortly leaves the room by clipping through the ceiling.
• Sixth Ranger: Joins the gang in Act 4. For about thirty seconds, anyway. He later rejoins as mission control during their heist spree.
• Slept Through the Apocalypse: He's completely unaware of the troubles going on at Black Mesa by the time the crew finds him.
• Small Role, Big Impact: Darnold, unlike the other self-aware AI scientists, leaves nearly as soon as he appears. However, Darnold makes the most of what screentime he has, arming Gordon with his signature Arm Cannon, allowing him to contribute more to the team for the rest of Act 4.
• Throwing Out the Script: As discussed by the actors at the end of Act 4's stream, Darnold's actor was originally supposed to play him as the head of the cybernetics department, but he decided to go off-script and make the scene about mixology and potions instead.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: Disappears shortly after his first appearance, with barely any mentions being made of him afterwards. It's unclear whether he's one of the "associates" that made it to Tommy's birthday party.
  • If the AI Crushes All Banks stream is to be taken as canon, he somehow made it out of Black Mesa on his own and wound up reconnecting with the Science Team to pull heists.

Other Self-Aware AI

Black Mesa Announcement System

Black Mesa Announcement System

ROCKET. LAUNCH. GOOD.

The announcement system of Black Mesa.

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• Artificial Stupidity: invokedWord of God says that is an AI like the Science Team, but it has the intelligence of a five-year-old.
• Lawful Stupid: It demands Gordon to report to it for passport inspection in the middle of the chaos caused by the Resonance Cascade.

Forzen

Forzen

"Irate Gamer Chris Bores did not rip off Angry Video Game Nerd James Rolfe!"

Played by: Scorpy

I just wanna graduate.

An HECU marine and sole member of Team Nice, this slippery devil claims to have been best friends with Benrey.

---

• Bad People Abuse Animals: He abducts Tommy's dog Sunkist and threatens to kill him with an array of military turrets if the science team won't do as he says. Unfortunately for him, Sunkist is immune to bullets.
• Comically Small Bribe: He tries to bribe Tommy with a Beyblade. It almost works.
• Fan Boy: Of The Irate Gamer, who he insists did not rip off The Angry Video Game Nerd and tries to blackmail the Science Team into changing people's minds about the topic.
  • In the thumbnail for ACT 4 Part 1's highlight reel, you can see that he even has a tattoo saying "Irate Gamer".
• Harmless Villain: Forzen repeatedly fails to accomplish anything. He is easily captured by the Science Team since he didn’t bother to arm himself, and after being left the only member of HECU, tries to force the Science Team to change people’s opinion on The Irate Gamer by holding Sunkist hostage. This final act almost makes Forzen a credible threat... But it turns out Sunkist is immortal and Immune to Bullets.
• Karma Houdini: If him vanishing while being held at gunpoint was not some sort of death, then he managed to get away scot-free with holding Sunkist hostage, even though it didn't work out.
• Mugging the Monster: Trying to hold Sunkist hostage turns out to be pointless, as the dog is utterly Immune to Bullets.
• Put on a Bus: He never shows up again after vanishing into thin air when Gordon holds him at gunpoint.
• Sole Survivor: He's the final surviving HECU Marine by the time Gordon and company find him again.
• Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Acts a lot like Benrey.
• Token Good Teammate: To the HECU seen in-game, as his dialogue implies he's just there for a scholarship and that he believes he's protecting the scientists from Black Mesa Security. Of course, given his former friendship with Benrey he might be lying, not to mention he attempts to hold Tommy's dog hostage.
  • Completely subverted in his second appearance, where he tries to take a dog hostage for a supremely petty reason.
• Vocal Evolution: In his first appearance, Scorpy used his normal voice, much like what he did for Benrey. In Forzen's reappearance in ACT 4 Part 1, Scorpy uses a noticeable amount of rasp while voicing him.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: He simply vanishes while the Neo-Science team has him cornered at gunpoint and is never mentioned again. It's unclear if he just escaped somehow or was killed.

Sunkist

Sunkist

*bark*

Played by: Lauren

*bark*

Tommy's pet dog. He's mentioned by Tommy multiple times through the series, until Act 4 where he finally shows up.

---

• Big Friendly Dog: He's as big as the rest of the gang, but is still a good boy.
• Broken Record: All of his "dialogue" consists of a single audio clip of a dog barking played through a modified wowozela.
• The Bus Came Back: After leaving at the end of his debut, he reappears in Xen to help the team finish off Benrey.
• Canis Major: He's as tall as the rest of the Science Team when he's sitting.
• Immortality: Tommy says that he's immortal, and the bullets from Forzen's turrets don't phase him at all. If a cut line from Tommy during the birthday party is to be believed, Sunkist has lived for atleast a million years before the events of the series.
  Coomer: This is the most powerful dog I have ever seen.
• Magic Music: Has access to the Black Mesa Sweet Voice, but instead of "singing", he just barks with it.
• Non-Standard Character Design: He appears to both the viewer and the characters as a 2-dimensional image of a real-life Golden Retriever within 3-dimensional space.
• Writing Around Trademarks: Official merchandise for the series refers to him only as "The Immortal" or "Perfect" Dog, so as to not draw ire from the real Sunkist brand's lawyers.

The Skeleton

The Skeleton

Played by: Scorpy

...

A skeleton that may or may not exist.

---

• Ambiguous Situation: It's not quite clear what or who he is. He may be a figment of Gordon's imagination, an undead Benrey, or something else entirely.
  • The ending of Act 4 reveals that the skeleton is, in-fact, Benrey or an extension of him.
• Flunky Boss: Benrey summons multiple Skeletons that float around and can incapacitate the Science Team with the Sweet Voice.
• The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: His passport lists his name as YOU.
• Heel–Face Turn: It’s a bit vague, but a Skeleton shows up attending Tommy’s birthday party, implying it either underwent this or that particular Skeleton was a separate entity.
• Sensory Abuse: It uses the Sweet Voice poorly.
• Something Only They Would Say: "did you bring your passport? you're not supposed to be here."
• Wham Line: Initially, the skeleton is just some vaguely hallucinatory entity. His true identity is revealed when he asks Gordon for his passport, in Benrey's voice.

The G-Man

The G-Man (aka Gregory Man Coolatta)

"Perhaps things would've gone a bit better if you'd remembered to bring your... Pass, port... hm?"

Played by: Mike

Doctor Freeman...

The mysterious G-Man, whose appearance makes Gordon's life a little more interesting.

---

• Adaptational Heroism: While still showing shades of being Ambiguously Evil, he is much more forthcoming with the truth than his Canon counterpart (even if Gordon thinks he's just trolling him) and ultimately helps the party save the world, and even takes them out for a birthday bash and movie afterward! He does threaten to have Gordon killed if he doesn't accept his "offer" for a pizza party, but given the rest of the cast's track record, this hardly makes him abnormal.
• Big Good: This variant of G-Man comes across as this as opposed to his Ambiguously Evil Canon depiction, as he just wants Tommy to get through the Resonance Cascade okay so he can have his birthday at Chuck E. Cheese's.
• The Chessmaster: It's strongly implied that he orchestrated the events of Gordon's adventure in such a way that all of his "associates" would survive... all so they could attend Tommy's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's afterward.
• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: He doesn't appear in ACAB, though he is mentioned by Gordon.
• Early-Bird Cameo: He appears at the end of Act 2 to spy on Gordon as the party goes to sleep. Gordon reacts to the sight of him, but decides that he's seen enough craziness that day and lets him go. The uncut footage reveals that Gordon chases him down for a while.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: The biggest difference between this G-Man and that one is that this one has "progeny" in the form of Tommy Coolatta, and is a doting father.
• Good Parents: If we assume his orders are the same as he had in Half-Life, he neglected them and manipulated the events during the Black Mesa Crisis just so his son Tommy would survive to attend his birthday party, and letting Tommy's friends survive so that they could attend his birthday as well.
• In Spite of a Nail: As different as the lore is between this series and the games' canon, he is still a Reality Warper All-Powerful Bystander who manipulates Gordon's path so he can successfully destroy the creature holding Xen together. Whether he does this for benevolent reasons or simply as a means to host Tommy's birthday party is unclear.
• Jerkass: He takes a moment of his conversation with Gordon to imply to him that everything could have been avoided if he had just brought an up-to-date passport to work that day, seemingly just to fuck with him. It actually turns out to be entirely true, as the series ends with the crew having to destroy their passports in order to escape Benrey.
• Not So Stoic: When Benrey interrupts his speech in Act 4, the G-Man becomes visibly and audibly alarmed. He struggles to get back on track as Benrey repeatedly asks him about his Playstation+ subscription. Soon, the G-Man gives up and hurries away, half-heartedly assuring Gordon as he does.
• Painting the Medium: Unlike the other characters, his text fades in as opposed to simply appearing while he's talking.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: The second time he shows up to talk to Gordon, Benrey interrupts him, not only making the G-Man noticeably uncomfortable, but forcing him to condense his entire conversation with Gordon to "You'll figure it out" while fleeing.
• Sssssnaketalk: Mirroring his speech patterns from Half-Life, but with some AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle from Half-Life 2 thrown in for familiarity.
• Time Master: He freezes time to have a heart to heart with Gordon at the end of Act 3, and again in Act 4.

Non-Player Characters

Jefferemm

Jefferemm

Benrey's co-worker and fellow passport inspector. He is prone to fits of anger, and requires the Black Mesa Sweet Voice to calm his nerves.

---

• Action Survivor: One of the only NPCs to survive encountering the party, possibly owing to the fact that Benrey considers him a friend.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Benrey views him as a friend, and wanted to play PlayStation 3 with him.
• Fisticuff-Provoking Comment: He balls his fists in rage when he learns that Gordon doesn't have his passport.
• Informed Flaw: Benrey claims he has anger issues, but he is never shown acting on them.
• Not as You Know Them: The generic security guard he replaces is generally assumed to be Barney Calhoun, and Dr. Coomer even briefly refers to him as such. Benrey insists that he's named Jefferemm, and is a fellow gamer who plays PlayStation 3 with him.
• Suppressed Rage: Despite his apparent fury at Gordon, Jefferemm doesn't say or do anything to him, the only signs of anger being his clenched fists.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: We don't know what happens to him after the party moves on past him.

Josh

Josh

"oh who did this."

Benrey's "friend of Josh", who was found dead in the flooded depths below Black Mesa's missile silos. In spite of all evidence, Benrey insists Gordon killed him.

---

• Disproportionate Retribution: According to Benrey, he wanted to beat up Gordon for forgetting to bring his passport, and judging by how Benrey calms him down with the Black Mesa Sweet Voice, he would've gone through with it.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Benrey claims that the two of them were friends.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: During his Motive Rant, Benrey insists it was Gordon ruining his chance to buy Heavenly Sword from Josh that made him so crabby. He completely neglects to mention that Josh was killed in the Resonance Cascade.
• Killed Offscreen: He dies offscreen during the the Resonance Cascade.
• One-Steve Limit: Averted, he shares a name with Gordon's son Joshua.
• Rasputinian Death: After surviving the initial shocks of the Resonance Cascade, he went on to evade the US military, get past the Tentacle occupying the missile silo, and swam through a massive flooded cavern before finally dying next to a barrel of green slime.

The US Military

Hazardous Environment Combat Unit/United States Armed Forces

"Airplane. Airplane. Bathroom."

The United States Military (primarily comprised of the HECU from the original game). Composed mainly of Cloudcuckoolanders, they attack Black Mesa and start wiping out its staff after the Resonance Cascade.

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• Armed Farces: Their numbers consist entirely out of bolos, high-speed blue falcons^note buddy-fuckers, and other fucknuts who make the situation way beyond FUBAR. They call airstrikes on their own, and whose idea of an operation is to try (and succeed at) blowing up all the bathrooms in Black Mesa.
• Armies Are Evil: Just as much as in the original game.
• Back for the Finale: They show up during the White House Heist in AI Crushes All Banks trying to fend off the Science Team.
• Catchphrase: "Airplane. Airplane. Bathroom" and its numerous variations.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Pretty much everyone who is a member is one of these.
• He Knows Too Much: Possibly the reason they are wiping out Black Mesa, in spite of it being their primary benefactor.
• Killed Off for Real: As much as an organization can be, anyway. The Science Team succeed in wiping out the entire military except for Forzen (and possibly Adrian Shephard), whose fate is unclear, with the implication that the organization was disbanded. Though if one takes AI Crushes All Banks as canon, the organization was reformed with several new recruits.
• Laughably Evil: They're all a bunch of goofballs, sillyheads, and freak-monkeys who are nothingless out for the blood of all Black Mesa personnel, with the Science Team naturally included, and have orders to kill them on sight.
• Not-So-Harmless Villain: The reformed military shown in AI Crushes All Banks are able to defeat the Science Team and kill Gordon, albeit through sheer luck.
• The Peter Principle: Everyone in the organization is an idiotic Cloudcuckoolander with no sense of self-preservation.
• Red Shirt Army: Pretty much every marine or soldier who shows up is taken out by their opponents, or each other.
• Sociopathic Soldier: As in the canon game, they're a bunch of murderous sociopaths who are gleeful about gunning down Black Mesa's personnel. Best shown by the Apprehension Grunts who are even worse than their canon counterparts as they brutalize and mutilate Gordon before dumping his body in a trash compactor.
• Too Dumb to Live: All of them have no sense of self-preservation, and are shown implementing counterproductive tactics like calling in air strikes on their own troops and trying to blow up all the bathrooms in Black Mesa.

The Helicopter Heap

The Helicopter Heap

"Gordon, if I was to talk to a God, I would say... That probably wasn't in his plan." - Bubby

"What on God... What on GOD is the Military doing?!"

— Gordon

A Mechanical Abomination composed of an infinite mass of United States Army (presumably New Mexico Air National Guard) Boeing AH-64A Apache attack helicopters that attacks the Science Team.

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• Cast from Money: According to Bubby, the Helicopter Heap was "all the government funding [the military] could muster!".
• Healing Factor: It regenerates from all damage the Science Team's rocket launchers do to it, much to Gordon's horror.
  Gordon: IT'S FUCKING REGENERATING!
• Hell Is That Noise: All those dozens of propellers nearly drive Gordon insane.
• Hopeless Boss Fight: Rocket launchers, the Science Team's heaviest firepower up this point, had no effect on it. In the end, the Helicopter Heap just disappears without much input from the Science Team.
• Horrifying the Horror: Even Dr. Coomer is terrified by this thing, and urges Gordon to flee as the Science Team desperately tries to take it down.
• Mechanical Abomination: The military somehow created a rotating mass of helicopters fused together that regenerates so fast it can't be destroyed. The only reason the Science Team survives the encounter is it mysteriously just vanishes.
• invoked One-Scene Wonder: The most prominent bug in the map. It even gets its own theme music!
• The Spook: Absolutely nothing is known about it. It just mysteriously pops up and gives the Science Team a Hopeless Boss Fight before vanishing as soon as it appeared, with the Science Team utterly confused as to what they just encountered.

Law Enforcement

Metropolitan Police Department of the District of Columbia/Department of Homeland Security/Federal Bureau of Investigation/Central Intelligence Agency

"Formation!"

Gordon: All cops are bastards!

The incompetent, excessively violent police force of Washington D.C., backed up by various federal law enforcement agencies.

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• Asshole Victim: Their first response to something as simple as a robbery is to storm the affected area in force with guns blazing, so no one's particularly upset that the Science Team butcher them wholesale.
• Boom, Headshot!: Several of them have their heads blown off by Gordon.
• Butt-Monkey: Whenever they show up, it’s pretty clear that they’re going to get killed or maimed in some way.
• Police Are Useless: The Science Team easily wipes the floor with them.
• Put on a Bus: They do not appear following the casino heist, being replaced by the reformed US Military.
• Red Shirt Army: All of them are easily and brutally murdered by the Science Team.
• Suspiciously Similar Substitute: For the US Military.

Pigeons

Pigeons

A large flock of pigeons infesting Black Mesa after the Resonance Cascade. They have a tendency to drop eggs and rocks on people.

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• Suddenly Voiced: One pigeon chides Gordon for wasting time at the movie theater concessions line in Act 4's behind-the-scenes video.
• Toilet Humor: They're pigeons after all.

Bullsquids

Bullsquids/Cephalocows/Creatures

Genetically engineered mutants bred by Black Mesa to eat the nuclear waste created by their nuclear power plant... ...Maybe.

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• Adaptational Backstory Change: Dr. Coomer claims that they were bred by Black Mesa to consume nuclear waste. Bubby says he has no idea what Coomer is talking about.
• I Have Many Names: Gordon calls them by their canon name, but Bubby scolds him that nomenclature is no laughing matter. Dr. Coomer suggests calling them "Cephalocows", but Tommy just calls them "creatures".
• In Spite of a Nail: Other Xen creatures get unique in-universe nicknames, Gordon just calls these creatures "Bullsquid", much to Bubby's chagrin.
• Turned Against Their Masters: They routinely shoot toxic snot at anyone who passes. This apparently is not a consequence of the Resonance Cascade.
• Unreliable Narrator: It's not clear if Tommy's talking out of his ass when talking about them, so they might still just be fauna native to Xen like in the canon game.

Ropes/Barnacles

Ropes/Barnacles

Dr. Coomer: Look Gordon! Ropes!

An alien creature from Xen that allegedly look like “barnacles of the sea” and can be used to traverse big pits.

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• Brick Joke: They eventually are used as grapple guns, causing Dr. Coomer's statement that they "can be used to help with big pits" to finally come true.
• Equippable Ally: Eventually Coomer learns how to scrape them off ceilings to turn them into organic grapple guns, something that proves to be incredibly useful over the course of the series.
• Schmuck Bait: They're very clearly not ropes, but the Science Team's AI keep falling for the species' camouflage.