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Amnesia: The Dark Descent
- At the end of episode 7, Jesse hits The Water Part. The Co-Dependent girls (who have played the game and know what's coming) egg him on until he steps into the water, at which point everything dissolves into a confusion of giggling, Angrish and the splashes of oncoming doom. "Keep Out Of The Water..."
- In episode 22, Jesse somehow manages to fake out a monster in the funniest way possible.
Saints Row The Third
- From the very start, the characters Jesse and Crendor make for themselves. Jesse is an angry old Clint Eastwood/honey badger hybrid. Crendor is...
Okay, so here's my backstory - I wanted to join the NBA but I was too big
, so I had to join the Blue Man Group
, the Blue Man Group kicked me out because I had psychological issues, so I was forced to join the circus, in which my anger problems made me, uh, combined with my psychological issues, mentally insane. So now I still wear my Blue Man Group costume, which is just blue paint, and clown makeup.
- Part 2 helps us find the humor in the little things, like a random NPC's face.
- In part 7, after about two episodes of dicking around with rival gangs while trying to buy Jesse a bathrobe:
Jesse: That's because we're trying to run him over in a Prius.
Crendor: If you're gonna run people over, you might as well save gas.
- Part 9 has some profound moments while driving the streets of Steelport.
Jesse: One fish, two fish! ...It makes so much sense now. So much sense.
Crendor: It's like in code.
Jesse: It is, it's like the Bible Code. That's a thing, right?
- In Part 11, Jesse starts a series-long Running Gag by mistaking a random NPC for Hitler.
- Crendor asks "can we get planes?" Get planes, yes, fly planes...
- Reeling from a sudden onslaught of Plot, Jesse and Crendor misinterpret Kinzie's mention of "Tea Cup."
Jesse: I don't... I'll be Banana Boy.
- In part 13. Jesse & Crendor get the Bear... for about fifteen seconds...
- Jesse & Crendor discover Insurance Fraud.
- In Part 19, Jesse unveils his ultimate gang war vehicle.
- In Part 25, the duo encounter some Artificial Atmospheric Actions that nearly force Jesse to change pants.
Jesse: If you want to know what it looks like when you're drunk and you think you're being really cool, that's what it fucking looks like.
- In Part 27, they're doing a Guardian Angel mission, and are naturally happy that their helicopter pilot is Big Purp, but then they fail due to their incompetence. When they restart, they see that Big Purp has been replaced, causing Crendor to rage, put the controller down, and walk away.
- In Part 28, Jesse can't stop drifting.
- Let's just say a lot of Part 30. Highlights include Jesse and Crendor's flawless teamwork.
Jesse: Help me, I'm being run over-
Crendor: I'm running you over.
- Part 31 starts with Jesse flopped over undead, and Crendor stuck in a bus stop.
- Part 33 has Jesse and Crendor bickering Like an Old Married Couple.
- The ending of the Episode 36 during the Livestream. Jesse is AFK getting his hot pizza and leaves the camera pointing at a brick wall. What follows is Crendor's Offscreen Moment of Awesome as he runs back and forth across the screen, fighting off police and rival gang members to "Yakety Sax."
Crendor: How long does it take to get a pizza?! HOW LONG?!
- Part 37 opens with a little moment of Comedic Sociopathy.
- Part 39 has a pretty blunt assessment of their own content:
(Jesse makes a detour to buy some property)
Crendor: Hurry up, you're wasting everyone's time.
Jesse: Wha - we have to do it eventually, we might as well do it now.
Crendor: That's true.
Jesse: We gave them solid hours of entertainment, now they must suffer.
Crendor: That's true.
- In Part 41, Jesse has another skydiving accident.
- An incident at the beginning of Part 43 and challenge from Jesse resulted in this touching fan tribute video: "In Memory of Panda Car."
- Part 44. Crendor has a chainsaw. Jesse has the Apoco-Fists. "Let's go destroy the city."
- Part 46 opens with Jesse riding a broomstick. Well, trying to ride a broomstick.
- Part 47, the final story mission, is a pretty good mix of Awesome and Funny.
- When faced with the Sadistic Choice between taking vengeance and saving gang members, Jesse decides to rescue his friends... and immediately heads off in the wrong direction, before giving up and driving into the river. Cue dramatic music accompanying him and Crendor swimming, slowly, toward shore.
Crendor: Yeah. Take that, game.
- They then put the rescue mission on hold to shop at a gun store, and Crendor gets into an argument over whether he should upgrade his sniper rifle.
- Storming the Castle, take one:
I'm saving our gang members, it's about friendship. That's what this game's really about, friendship, man
. Friendship, and, and... buddyness
The Knights of Victory is really about - you didn't save any
of these people! Crendor:
Bags of chips. Jesse:
Alright, I think I got them all- failure screen Crendor:
Did you really just die?! Crendor:
have just shot something that exploded... Jesse:
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Crendor:
In my defense- Jesse:
No, you have no
defense on this, we were doing fine
. I gave a speech about friendship!
And you betrayed
- Storming the Castle, take two:
- The final battle turns into an Anti-Climax Boss when Kia decides to jump off the roof.
- They're both completely baffled by the Bonus Level on Mars.
Jesse: Pierce just died! Why did we save them all if they're gonna die-
It's just Pierce
, keep going.
Jesse: I'm still concerned why Johnny and Shaundi are here.
Crendor: Why wouldn't they be?
Jesse: 'cause Johnny's dead!
Jesse: Is this Mars Johnny?
- Jesse trying to figure things out, Crendor taking things in stride.
Jesse: This is a weird dream, I'm not sure what it's about, but it's a dream.
Crendor: It's probably Burt Reynolds' dream.
- Profound moments on another planet.
Crendor: Am I the first clown in space?
- Part 49 gives us Jesse's Sad Panda voice.
- In Part 50, Jesse starts talking about hiring a chauffeur for himself and Crendor, and cracks a joke about women drivers. Karma does not approve.
Jesse: Send you angry letters to: Jesse Cox, care of Wowcrendor-
Jesse: ...I may have blown us up. Look, look, we deserved it, let's be honest-
Crendor: You deserved it.
Jesse: We deserved it.
- Part 51 opens with a minor hoverbike accident.
Jesse: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
- Part 52 proves that everything we know about Jesse and Crendor's ability to fly planes also applies to alien spacecraft.
Jesse: I literally just pressed "F" to turn on flight mode, and the ship just fell out of the sky.
Crendor: "F" for Fail.
Jesse: "F" for Fail.
- In Part 52, another take on the final mission, Crendor comes up with the next hit TV show.
- Jesse plays a round of Magicka for a special Fourth of July livestream. Jesse plays a game with Friendly Fire. With three other people. They let him have a gun. FOR AMERICA!
Terraria - The Next World Generation
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
- In Part 13 he complains that he might have to worry about Carla's claustrophobia and while Carla is leaving the asylum...
- In the beginning of Part 15 when Jesse is trying to get past a couple of guards again.
"Focus Jesse. Focus with all of your focusing abilities
* immediately gets caught* Jesse:
"God damn it..."
- The Final Part. Jesse doesn't even make that many jokes in it, instead just reacting the how batshit insane the last part of the game is. And his final reaction to the endings. "WHY IS THERE NO ANSWERS!" indeed.
is the fevered dream of a psychopath. It's a nonsensical, insane, ridiculous ride into the maw of madness. One cannot describe it, only experience it. And God help those who tread this path. 10/10, Game of the Year
." - Jesse Cox
Far Cry 3
Dead Space 2
- During the puzzle where Isaac has to move some fuses around to shut down ANTI, he becomes convinced he has the puzzle down. Only to... well:
: So, red is dead, and blue is in the goo! (Inserts first fuse, which turns blue.) Jesse
: Blue! Nice. Okay, stick this down here... (Inserts second fuse. It turns green. Beat) Jesse
: Wait, what? What the hell is green?! (bursts out laughing)
- Even better, when he connects all the fuses so that they're green, he finds a secret room containing loot and Peng!
- Best glitch ever. Gets even more hilarious towards the end of the video.
Star Craft II: Heart of the Swarm
- Jesse makes fun of Mengsk's special elite squads towards the end of the campaign due to their ineffectiveness relative to their fearsome title, and then creates "Death Squad 7," which is a group comprised solely of Zerg Overlords—units which have absolutely no combat effectiveness or utility to speak of.
Bio Shock Infinite
- The first part features Jesse rendered speechless—partly because he's blown away by the scenery, and partly because he has no idea what the hell is going on.
- About the Lutece twins: "WHY DO I LOVE AND/OR HATE YOOOUUU?!"
- After seeing Booker's dream about Columbia attacking New York and arriving in the Garden of New Eden, Jesse then finds the inscription "The Seed of the Prophet shall sit the throne and drown in flame the Mountains of Man."
- Jesse's "old-timey" voice. Especially when he decides to sing while using it.
- The incident at the raffle: first, Jesse is driven to hysterical giggling by Fink's casually racist comment about "the prettiest white girl in all of Columbia"; then he realizes that he's just won on number 77 after being warned not to... and then it turns out that he's won the first throw in the public stoning of a mixed-race couple. Cue incredulous shouts of "Wait what? What the shit... WHAT?! What is happening here?" Then Booker fights back by ramming a policeman's face into a skyhook, leading to an incredibly bloody fight scene, and all of a sudden, Jesse's laughing again.
Jesse: "Uh, sirs, can we have a conversa—OH GOD, OKAY, NEVERMIND!"
- Upon arriving in the Monument Island research center, Jesse finds an overturned chair with a shirt draped over it and a pair of shoes lying nearby; he immediately speculates that the previous owner was just so startled that his shoes and shirt blew off and he ran out of the building completely naked.
Jesse: Future DLC.
- In part 9, Jesse comes across a Kinetescope in the arcade after going through and seeing the Colored & Irish bathrooms compared to the White bathrooms.
Jesse: What other horrific racist thing are we gonna fi—"Solving the Irish Problem", of course! Of course...
- Upon encountering the animatronic, poem-reciting George Washington in the Hall of Heroes lobby, Jesse's computer suffered a critical error and crashed. Jesse could only speculate that it simply couldn't handle the awesomeness.
- Part 13 has Jesse performing the single most violent mood swing imaginable. After listening to the somber, doomed message on one of Slate's audio-logs he delivers this thoughtful insight:
... Interesting, I'm not sure where to put his character yet... (sees enemy soldier and blasts him in the back
) But I know where to put this guy's character! ON THE GROUND!
- Elizabeth's expression in response helps sell it.
- The first encounter with the Motorized Patriots.
- "That is one pissed-off George Washington!"
- "Come on, George! I cannot tell a lie, I'm going to shoot you in the e- ("George" charges his cover, minigun blazing) OH SHIT!"
- "Mr Ple... President... You've been voted out of office."
- "The only thing I got out of that was that I almost called George Washington "Mr Plesident." You know, because he's so happy, he's pleasident."
- At Finkton Docks, Jesse runs into another Motorized Patriot, and is halfway through calling it George when he realizes that it's actually modelled on Ben Franklin.
- While exploring the Shantytown, with its "keep your guns, we need food" sign, Jesse realizes he might be responsible for Columbia's food shortage.
- "Wait, they've got minotaurs, now?!"
- In yet another encounter with Motorized Patriots, Jesse finds himself fighting a Vox Populi-aligned version modeled after Abraham Lincoln. After taking a few potshots at it with his Hand Cannon - and laughing over the fact that he's trying to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the head - he realizes that Elizabeth can summon a Motorized Patriot of her own to fight it... but this one's modeled on George Washington. Cue massive squee attack as the two mechanized presidents square off. George Wins.
Jesse: George Washington vs Abraham Lincoln! Goooooooo History!
- His response to hearing the "Whispers Through The Walls" voxophone, which implies that the Lutece Twins are really just the same person, but from different dimensions.
Jesse: HOOOOOOOOOOOOLD THE PHONE!
- While he's about to board the gondola to Comstock House, Jesse takes the time to poke around before deciding that it probably isn't a boss area.
Jesse: OH GODDAMMIT!
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
- Jesse's constantly competing with Rex Power Colt's one-liners.
- Jesse correctly predicts Rex's dialogue during a scene with Dr. Darling in Part 3, when Dr. Darling is offering an injection to make him as powerful as the Big Bad.
Rex: No, Doc. No way. I swore an oath to a special lady.
Jesse: Lady Liberty.
Dr. Darling: Your... wife?
Jesse: Say it.
Rex: No, lady liberty
Jesse: yea-ha-hahhh! America!
Rex: She taught me that winners... don't use drugs.
Jesse: Fuck yeah!
- Jesse takes a quick, terror and rant-filled ride down a river in a jet ski in Part 9. It ends when he rides right into the mouth of a mutant crocodile.
- Jesse's glee throughout the Battle Armored Dragon Assault Strike System portion of the finale.
Battle Dragon: DO YOU LIKE RIDING ME?
Jesse: I do, buddy!
- "Can I 'F' this guy?"
Kerbal Space Program w/ Myndflame
Dead Space 3 w/ Dodger
- You know a Let's Play is off to a good start when the first gunfight after the prologue ends with this:
AAAAH! *BOOM* Dodger: What. Jesse: Bane
just blew himself up on the top of my damn car!
Cube World w/ Wowcrendor
- Part 3: Jesse and Crendor come across a castle named Sesel Palace; their first attempt to enter ends with them getting murdered by a small army of very powerful, very angry humans.
Saints Row IV w/ Wowcrendor
- In the prologue levels, the guys make sure to destroy all the terrorists' beverages.
Jesse: Shoot all their styrofoam cups, too, we can't let them have any - (cracking up) - if anyone survives, they're gonna die of thirst.
Crendor: They can't have any American things, and if there's anything that's American, it's styrofoam cups.
- And right after they're done, Crendor (and, in a moment, Jesse) spot a grafitti on the wall, the lower part of which says "CAPITALIST", while the upper has a rocket with the word "PIE" drawn on it. Seconds later, Jesse comes to a shocking realization...
Is PewDie... Is PewDiePie
a terrorist?! Oh my god!
- Jesse gets his first glimpse of Crendor's character. It sets him laughing so hard he has to leave the room.
Jesse: (laughing hysterically) Look at you! Is that...
Crendor: Listen, my guy had some tough times in his life. When he became president-
Jesse: (has to leave the room for a moment)
Crendor: He had a trip to Jamaica, but during that period he dyed his hair pink because everybody was doing it, right? So then he dyed all his facial hair pink, which if you look close enough you can see he got the hipster 'stache. That's because he had a hipster stage where he worked at a coffee shop. Then-
Jesse: (still laughing) Blue man! What happened to you, blue man?
Crendor: Then he got his place in office so he decided to go full-out rep America.
Jesse: I'm glad you did that.
- In Part 2, Jesse and Crendor's reactions to the 50's sitcom-esqe simulation. They even try to act accordingly at first!
- Almost at the beginning of Part 3, Crendor gets bushwhacked out of nowhere by a random lady. Followed immediately by Crendor running people over while Jesse sings "Safety Dance."
- In Part 4 the boys do some Insurance Fraud, running face-first into incoming traffic to "What is Love." They're pretty terrible at it (Jesse flopping around in the back of a truck aside) and Jesse concludes they've failed, until "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" starts playing, Crendor triggers Adrenaline Mode to send the mission into overtime, and in a simultaneous CMoF and CMoA they cartwheel their way to victory
- It took until Part 5, but...
Crendor: HOLY SHIT I FOUND HITLER!
- Part 6 ends with Jesse's brief but... memorable rap.
- A bit before that, they explore the spaceship and find the room with the mattress, whip and Bow Chicka Wow Wow soundtrack.
Kinzie, what is happening on this ship? What are you and Keith
doing while I'm in The Matrix
- Part 7 has Crendor obsessed with a "golden pokeball," going on a wild chase after one while Jesse gets his ass kicked by toilets.
- When they decide to customize their gang, they conclude that since they're in the Matrix, their team should be made up of nothing but Big Purps.
- Part 8 is entitled "Crendor, I Hate Thee" for reasons that should be obvious.
Jesse: (bleeding out) I just wanna point out, once again, I died, and you were not within a thousand meters of me.
Crendor: Well, that's because I created the greatest car.
Jesse: That's swell and all, but...
Crendor: Don't worry, I'm on my way. Where are you?
Jesse: ...God dammit. (dies)
- Par 9 has Jesse's reaction to finally finding his old outfit.
- In Part 10, the guys revisit Fraud, and this time they end up getting gold rank. Jesse pulls off some insane combos. It is epic.
- In Part 11, Jesse comes dangerously close to failing a carjack mission.
- Episode 12 starts with Jesse being overjoyed at getting "HAN. SOLO. PISTOLS."
- In Part 13, Jesse points out that he and Crendor were totally silent and listening to instructions for the first time all game, because "when it comes to Genki, I am all ears."
- Making conversation in Part 16.
Crendor: I bought new sweat pants.
Jesse: In the game, or in life?
Crendor: In life.
Jesse: Why is that relevant to right now?
Crendor: I'm wearing 'em.
- Part 19 covers Shaundi's loyalty mission, which Jesse and Crendor both enjoy. Highlights include Jesse's driving, a herd of Big Purps in the wild, an odd story from Crendor about kids at a mall playground getting tackled, and a boss fight that consists of Jesse repeatedly kicking a DJ in the crotch.
- Episode 20 is Pierce's loyalty mission, with an already hilarious moment when the Boss and Pierce are "singing" along to "Say You're Just a Friend" before Zinyak chimes in to troll them, but when Jesse and Crendor sing along too the resulting cacophony has to be heard to be believed. The best part is that Jesse and Crendor mistake the screaming characters for each other.
- Part 22 has Jesse and Crendor coming up with the next David Lynch movie while running a race, and failing at Cat & Mouse.
- Part 23 opens with Crendor continuing his eternal battle against the forces of Hitler.
- Part 25 is aptly named "Dicks Dicking Around." It's mostly Jesse and Crendor doing sidequests, and Jesse trying to explain the difference between combos (chained attacks), combos (meal discounts), and Combos (snacks).
- Part 26 opens with Jesse mystified by an NPC. "Invisible Orgasm Lady, are you okay?"
- Pretty much the entirety of Part 27. Starting from Jesse's utter glee from the side-scroller beat 'em up that the mission consists of and just going on from there.
- Part 29 is a lot of fun.
- In Part 30, Jesse's action-packed escape is delayed by Crendor, as usual, and by an alien weapon sitting on the helicopter, which is different.
- Episode 31: Crendor starts being really negative. Jesse is annoyed and snarky about it at first, but eventually he starts trying to cheer Crendor up by saying really sappy things.
Jesse: Wrap yourself in the trash bag of my love! LOVE!
- During Part 32, the game either bugs out or Jesse somehow skips a cutscene at the end of the "He Lives" mission, which in a way makes it even more awesome.
- In Part 1 of "How the Saints Save Christmas," the boys enjoy the nostalgia of being back in the 50's simulation.
Crendor: Ah, such a simpler time, when people didn't show their anger in public and instead drank at home.
- In Part 37, for the final mission, Jesse unveils an incredible new weapon.
Jesse: I've been saving it, for a moment where we needed it most. A moment like this - well, I'm out of ammo, shit.
- "Enter the Dominatrix" is just a great way to end the series.
- A moment of self-reflection turns into sage advice for their viewers.
Crendor: Did you ever think, like, three years ago, like "Hey, in three years my job is gonna be to talk about Future Scientists as I drive a van with a man's face on it in a computer game."
Jesse: Know what? Strangely enough, I thought to myself, "It's possible!"
Crendor: I did too.
Jesse: I always knew this day would come, let's be honest.
Crendor: Kids, only do this if you have that feeling. It means you might be a Future Scientist.
Jesse: Who talks about driving a man's face.
Crendor: Don't be a normal scientist, that'd be boring.
- Jesse revised his wardrobe to fit the Matrix theme of the DLC. Crendor... did something different.
- "Did you know that Hitler killed Hitler?"
Jesse: I never thought I'd say this, but you smoke entirely too much reefer.
- Crendor remembers he took a Star Wars quiz, and talks like Yoda for the rest of the episode.
- In "Enter the Dominatrix: Part 2", Super Strength + Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo Bats = Fun.
- The two have truly bonded over the course of this game.
Jesse: Crendor, you'll always be my pony.
Crendor: Thank you... I think.
- The fact that by the end of the series, Jesse has banged, or attempted to bang, every crew member on the spaceship... except Pierce. And Crendor was usually watching creepily from the background.
- This comment:
After seeing all these comments on the Saints Row videos, I would like to be the first to welcome you all to OMFGcata
Messing Around=Main Story Line
Outlast w/ Wowcrendor
- The first jump scare of the Coxtober season.
- Jesse is way too Genre Savvy for this game, constantly yelling at the main character for not turning around and leaving at the first (or second or third) sign of danger.
- Jesse and Crendor pretending that Chris Walker is that guy on the ghost hunter shows that keeps yelling "Come and fight me, ghosts!"
- In part 3, Crendor reaches over and taps Jesse on the back freaking him out.
- In Part 8, when Jesse successfully escapes from and kills Dr. Trager, both he and Crendor are Flipping the Bird at him.
- Part 12: Jesse & Crendor's reactions to watching Hitler Ghost, a.k.a. Walrider, tear up Chris Walker, who they've spend the last couple episodes developing a special hatred for. Crendor starts clapping.
Jesse: You can't applaud Hitler Ghost!
Crendor: Why not?!
- Jesse and Crendor confused and raging about the ending.
Crendor: Even David Lynch would play this game and be like "What just happened at the end I don't understand."
Jesse: *laughing* Well you see David: this game was like a river. A river of idea fish. And the creators caught those idea fish, but ate them before they had time to lay the, the brain seeds.
Marlow Briggs and the Mask of Death
- The Running Gag of Jesse singing "MARLOW BRIIIIIGGS!" whenever he opens a door, and then getting annoyed when there's no one on the other side of it to hear him doing it.
- In episode 4, he ends up defeating a boss in 5 seconds when he accidentally knocks the guy off the platform.
- In episode 9, he tries out the ice power up and winds up getting a 100 hit combo, this causes the mask to go into a massive rant about how awesome Marlow is, to the point he drowns out the plot.
- During Part 3 when he starts playing the lost fawns searching for their mother.
I'm saying right now if I get there and the she's dead I'mma be pissed off at that Bambi
shit. Oh, by the way, spoiler alert for Bambi
- Jesse compares sneaking past hyenas to Metal Gear then cracks up upon discovering the sequence invlves hiding under a box.
- Jesse gets killed but the second deer, still being attacked by the hyena, is immune to harm (due to later needing to die in a cutscene).
Jesse: Brother! If you were impervious to harm you should have led!
- Jesse sees a velociraptor (after chanting "No monsters. No monsters")
Jesse (while laughing): What?! Why is there a velociraptor?! This is un- this is even imposisble! It's not unbelievable. This is impossible! How am I supposed to- Oh my God!
- Jesse encounters Kangaroos and rabbits, armed with boxing gloves.
Jesse: Oh no, ohh no! They all got boxing gloves. Why do the rabbits have boxing gloves?! Who puts boxing gloves on rabbits?!
- Jesse's raging in part 10 as Act 11 of the story mode quickly turns into That One Level for him. At various points he devolves into Angrish and you can hear him throwing the controller down or banging on a desk in frustration, or breaking down as the game starts him far back.
Jesse: Where's Scar? Where the fuck is that piece of shit? I am gonna kill him. I'm gonna personally murder his face right off.
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
- Part 7 begins with Jesse explaining how some commenters told him that not every secret appears on AR. Meaning from then on, he'd be spending much, much more time scouring the levels for loot. He repeatedly insists that the viewers brought this on themselves.
- Jesse's freak-out during part 15 during the boss rush before Sundowner.
Jesse: *Having just destroyed Mistral's body double* Well that shit just occurred and it was kinda freakin' awesome! Also? Her robot body? Still pretty sexy, just sayin'.
*Beat then Monsoon's body double ambushes Jesse and begins ripping him apart.*
Jesse: OH MY—WHAT!? *Laughing*
Oh COME ON!
Boris: And a spare Monsoon? Well, if it's AI-controlled it should pose no problem for you, yes?
Jesse: Oh my god, what are you talking about!? This is a problem for me!
*Monsoon beats the tar out of Jesse more*
Jesse: *Disbelieving laugh* Oh my god...Yep, this is a problem for me.
South Park: The Stick of Truth
- Episode 1: Jesse's overdramatic opening narration.
- The Running Gag of him going in every shower and pooping in every toilet he sees.
- His interaction with Ned at the start of part 6.
Ned: You remind me of a guy I served with in 'Nam.
Jesse: *Imitating Ned's voice box* Thank you.
Ned: Remember you can legally kill anything in self-defense.
Jesse: They're coming right for us.
Ned: Do you need to borrow my voice box?
Jesse: *Speaking normally* Nope! Got it covered!
- It takes a while, but in Part 7 Jesse finally finds the fart button.
- Jesse's absolute refusal to, when given the option, skip past Jimmy's stuttering attempts to say the words "enchantment" & "destiny"
Oh I'm not skippin' this. Nope. I'm putting the controller down. Let's see how far down the rabbit hole we go.
- He enjoys it so much that, in part 12, he doesn't seem to even realize you can't skip an instance that occurs during a side-quest.
- Part 10 begins with a disclaimer:
Jesse: Warning: The following episode contains... Butt Stuff. If you don't what that means or you have a problem with... Butt Stuff, then don't watch because you will be offended. But if you made it through, like, episode 2 of South Park back in the 90s, you should be okay. But remember.. Butt Stuff!
- Jesse gets an alien helmet, immediately recognizes its resemblance to a Dragon Ball Z scouter, and dyes it accordingly.
- Jesse cracks up watching the New Kid staring blankly ahead at the screen:
"I don't know why that's so funny to me! His expression's just like 'Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this to yourself?' *giggles* Shut up, Internet! I thought it was funny."
- Jesse sees Jimmy now has the ability "Brown Note:"
Oh my God, I wanna see a Nazi Zombie shit himself!
- Jesse summoning Mr Slave inside his own asshole
Diablo III: Reaper of Souls
- After speaking to Ivy, an NPC whose husband was killed in the Big Bad's initial attack, Jesse meets another NPC:
Male NPC: At long last, a hero comes to save us. That won't bring my wife back, though, will it?
Jesse: (singsong) I know a lady who's single! (normal) If you're lookin'.
Wolfenstein: The New Order
Among the Sleep
Resident Evil 6 w/ Cryaotic (Chaoticmonki)
- In the first episode, Cry decides that since Leon was forced to shoot the zombified President, he gets to become the next president.
- Cry and Jesse's response to seeing Helena pick up a phone.
Cry: Is it bad that when Helena picked up the phone she looked at it, I just imagined her seeing a dick pic?
Jesse: That's why he came back for it
Cry: He's like "shit!"
Jesse: "Oh, I forgot that!"
Cry: "Awkward, fuck..."
- While investigating piano music, they come across a door with a Bloody Handprint.
Cry: (gasp) Look at, look at, look at it!
Jesse: It's a bloody hand.
Cry: Two of 'em, three of 'em, several of 'em.
Jesse: Oh she could be in there playing the piano as a zombie? That's talented.
- Jesse's comment that jump scares don't scare him turns into Tempting Fate when a Scare Chord plays and it's Cry's appearance that startles him.
- In Part 2, after realizing everyone on a campus has been infected...
Oh no. OH NO. Zombie college students! Cry:
Ah shit! Wait! That means we're going to get so much free beers! Jesse: Zombie
(both crack up
I don't know what that means! Cry:
It's such a stupid idea! I love it! Jesse:
[...] Oh no, lecture halls! Cry:
Zombie lecturers! Jesse:
This is going to be the worst!
- In Part 3, the true enemy isn't the zombies, but the trains.
- The boys take the time to criticize a dead woman's posture and fashion sense.
- By Part 4, Jesse's wondering "why is every bad driver in the city out right now?"
- At the very start of Part 5, they both instantly spot the Obviously Evil bad guy, Cry is incredulous at how their vehicle derails, and Jesse wonders why they picked a bus without any seats.
- In Part 6 the guys have a lot of fun saying the name of Helena's sister Deborah.
- In Part 8 and Part 9, Jesse gets to face his greatest fear - sharks.
- The secret identities Jesse and Cry think up for Leon and Helena - Noel K. Sennedy and Halena Harper.
- Part 11 is named after a Quick Time Event Jesse repeatedly fails at.
Cry: Let me, let me go first, see if I can do it-
- Part 12; Jesse and Cry find themselves on the Helena/Leon side of the dreaded "killer Roomba room". It seems they've conquered the trap and beat the section! Our heroes seem to have a moment to catch their breath. Then all hell breaks loose.
- By Part 13, Jesse has officially Given Up On Logic and is no longer even trying to follow the game's plot.
- That moment in Part 14 when they realize they're actually playing through a Leon/Ada/Simmons love triangle.
- Jesse gets downed, revived, and killed immediately.
Seriously, this is - I don't even know how
to describe what's happening now. I'm fighting the ex
of my goo-baby
- When the villain meets his end upon an obelisk that seemingly exists solely for that purpose:
Jesse: ...What, what would that be?
- After the credits, they debate who to ship Leon with.
Jesse: Aw, did Leon and Ada get together? Awww...
Jesse: But I wanted Helena/Leon, because she was there, and alive, and not a goo-baby.
Cry: I, I'd personally go for Helena as well.
Right? Ada's nice and all, but she's a little crazy. She has a Batman
fetish going on, I'm just saying.
- Part 16: "I'm not gonna lie - this segment sucks." Immediately followed by Jesse going berserk.
- Part 17, while collecting data drives, the two argue over when to suspend their disbelief.
Cry: Y'know... I don't know how the hell we're finding these things. Like, realistically-speaking-
Jesse: I work for the government, don't question it. Look, this is what you're gonna question? Out of all the things in the game, this is the thing you're questioning?
Cry: Yeah, yeah, 'cause I lose things all the time-
Jesse: Portable memory devices, things that could have tracking - the one thing that could possibly have tracking chips in it, that's what you're gonna question?!
- Most of Part 18, aka the snowmobile part, since it's basically Jesse and Cry wrestling with the bad design of the game and flipping out.
Cry: That's the laugh of man who's just like, "I've nothing left to lose" - WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT?! WHAT?!
- In Part 20, when Sherry changes her outfit and angrily walks past Jake, Jesse dubs over her, "you didn't even notice my Nathan Drake cosplay, I'm out."
- In Part 21, the two spend substantial time and energy trying to figure out how to get at an assault rifle locked behind a puzzle, before giving up and going to trigger a cutscene. When they backtrack, the room is still there, but the gun has vanished. They sound more impressed than angry about the game's assholery. And possibly dead inside.
- It takes less than two minutes of Part 22 for the "what the fuck?!"s to start flowing.
- They also recognize how the game is inverting a Plot Tailored to the Party.
- Jesse's continuing misunderstanding of Asian culture. He constantly gets Japan and China mixed up, and interprets a poster as advertising a movie starring Jeff Goldblum in The Geek, about a giant baby-monster.
- In Part 23, they encounter a foe that succeeds where countless zombies, soldiers, dinosaurs, and sharks have failed.
- In Part 24, Cry decides "you know, this game's not bad, it's just terrible."
- They get really excited during a potentially romantic moment between the characters, leading Jesse to (try to) sing "Kiss the Girl."
- When they re-view a cutscene with Leon and Helena, Cry gushes that "Past!Us is so cool."
- After Sherry and Jake wake up captured (again) in an underground lab...
Jake: What the hell just happened?!
- A Seinfeldian Conversation about cereal culminates in...
Jesse: Captain Crunch, for when you want rough sex.
Jesse: ...I mean, I don't even know where to go with that. I'm sure there's a rear-admiral joke in there somewhere...
- During the finale of the Sherry/Jake campaign, Cry starts accusing Jesse of being the one who built the Stupidly Elaborate Underground Base because "I need someone to be mad at right now!"
- Cry identifies the big slimy cocoon thing as the mega-evolution of Kakuna. Or maybe it's...
You know how there's been goo-babies?
That's a goo-adult
- Jesse explodes with outrage when the zombie horror plot gets in the way of the romance story.
Jesse: Aw FUDGE! There's so many wasted lines! God dammit. [...] The line was gonna be "you know you're not your father," that was gonna be The Line! Right? 'cause that's how they're romantically involved!
- During the no-more-ridiculous-than-anything-else-in-the-game boss fight with the Ustanak, Jesse declares he's supporting Cry through The Power of Love.
- After the final fight with the Ustanak, the boys decide that it's not dead, and the ending will see it riding a wave of lava at them as they ride a train car out of the Elaborate Underground Base. They are immediately proven to be completely right.
- Jesse and Cry squeeing the moment when Jake grabs Sherry's hand to help shoot the last bullet.
Jesse: That's like kissing.
- ...And again a minute later when Sherry takes Jake's hand. They basically turn into fangirls for the rest of the video, picturing their perfect post-credits scene: Jake and Sherry at their wedding, the recurring boss shows up again but is the one officiating their marriage, they all smile and wink at the camera after tying the knot, goo-baby Ada Wong grabs the bouquet, and Leon's in the background facepalming. When that doesn't happen, Jesse is pissed, and accuses the writer of being a 13-year-old-boy with a motorcycle fixation. Then they get distracted by what was in a box on the airplane seat next to Sherry.
Jesse: What was in that box, I didn't even think about that!
Cry: I thought, when she originally looked at it, that it was like Jake's heart and they killed him.
Cry: But that's a bit morbid.
Cry: Yeah, that would've been a much more interesting ending in my opinion.
Jesse: At least someone would've gotten kissed!
- The thumbnail used for Chris and Piers' campaign. Good god.
- In Part 27 we see that just because there's no romantic chemistry in the Chris/Piers campaign doesn't mean Jesse has stopped shipping people.
Cry: I like how Chris Redfield nodded when you said that.
- Part 30 is named for Jesse's theory that Chris' amnesia isn't due to getting clonked on the head, but because he's a goo-baby.
- The boys decide that, since the Sherry/Jake campaign was more romantic than the Leon/Helena campaign, the Chris/Piers campaign will end with the two kissing, and Ada's campaign with her and her goo-baby clone gettin' it on.
- "Listen, you're not a goo-baby, you're a goo-man."
- At the start of Part 31, Jesse attempts to create a backstory for a corpse in an apartment.
- After a Jump Scare involving a giant snake.
- Jesse tells a nameless squadmate that it's okay if he just wants to go home early.
- By this third campaign, Jesse and Cry have played the same levels and fought the same bosses so many times...
Jesse: There's that train that explodes, there's those boats that get destroyed...
Cry: Oh, does that mean the helicopter's coming?
Jesse: Didn't we already do the helicopter part? [...] So much has happened multiple times already that we don't remember what has happened where.
- Jesse's repeated failures at one chase sequence leave him with an utter Lack of Empathy.
- "There's literally a moment in every one of these [campaigns] that is like, 'you know, good, solid game mechanics would fix this entire scenario. But we decided to go with Frustration Running!'"
- "Oh my God, is that the secret of the goo?"
Cry: Your name is Christine, and I am-
Cry: Finally, God!
- Jesse thinks the Gas Mask Mooks on the aircraft carrier look like mew-tants.
- In Part 33, their reaction to the sudden, anticlimactic end of another antagonist.
- By Part 34, Ending Fatigue is starting to set in.
Jesse: What the shit? He turned into a monster just to die.
Cry: Ah, man... gah. Well, you know, that's what happens when, you play this game long enough, I would've had a witty remark like twenty episodes ago, but I lost it.
Jesse: Oh we're done, I know. Wit is gone, it's just finger-snap raps... and dreams. Dreams of a better future.
Cry: Dreams? Dreams of this game finally being over? That's a good future.
Jesse: One day I believe, I believe it will happen!
- For the finale of the Chris/Piers campaign, Jesse discovers that "every time I hate this game, it does something amazing."
- When Ada's campaign starts, it doesn't take long for the game to set the tone.
Jesse: Why is Ada naked?
Jesse: [...] Wait, why did she get naked only to get dre- you know what, I don't care.
- Starting in Part 37 and running into Part 38, Cry is playing the game after staying up for thirty-eight hours straight. Hilarity Ensues.
- In Part 38, Jesse has the ignominy to bleed to death on top of a healing herb.
- In Part 39, Cry thinks that they might be about to repeat the Shark Level. Jesse's reaction is predictable.
- In Part 40, they speculate that the Agent is a Stalker with a Crush who steals Ada's spare clothing to wear and spends his nights posing with a crossbow in front of his bathroom mirror, crying.
- They sum up the game as a "stale kind of cool," or a "sad kind of cool."
Cry: Yeah, it's the kind of cool that reminds you of a time when things were better. But times are really bad.
Jesse: Right? It's like seeing your favorite band, and you know they're your favorite band, and they play all their best songs and you're like, "That was awesome." But when it's over it reminds you that they used to be really really good, and you used to be much younger.
Cry: It reminds you of your own mortality, 'cause you're gonna fuckin' die one day.
That's what this game is - yeah. Resident Evil 6
reminds you that one day you will die.
- Jesse decides Resident Evil 7 should be a game where nothing happens, the player just sits in a room where Jump Scares go off.
- For the finale of Ada's campaign, they start to have fun with how she keeps locking the Agent behind bulkheads, only for him to reappear on the other side with no explanation.
Shovel Knight w/ The Completionist
- P.T. is known to be terrifying, even for a demo, but how afraid Davis, Jesse, Jirard, and Greg are makes it hilarious to watch. This playthrough probably ranks as one of the funnier ones you will see of P.T.
- The fact that Davis is more afraid than the other 3 combined, to the point where he freaks out over every little thing.
- Jesse's Madness Mantra of "He shot that girl in the bathroom!" is repeated multiple times before Jirard screams that Jesse's freaking him out.
- The group started playing this after having gone out drinking for a while. By the first section of part 2, they regret doing so, and comment that the game has sobered them up very quick.
- And in spite of their drinking, Jirard puts together the backstory surprisingly well, especially during the red hallway loop.
- At the start of the playthrough we have Jesse's reaction to the lack of voice acting in the game:
Ohhh! No crappy voice acting?! Don't worry I'll cover it.
- From Part 2:
Hylian Captain: Reinforcements are here! Oh, thank goodness!
Jesse: And then an entire army shows up, that's okay.
- At the end of Part 6, Jesse's caught off-guard by one of the game's Reveals.
Midna: Lana, her face... it looks just like yours...
Lana: I am Cia's other half-
Jesse: I'm sorry, her what?
- From Part 8
- Jesse's utter bewilderment that he had been saying Fi's name wrong the entire time.
- During episode 13, the camera focuses on Cia for entirely too long. Jesse promptly forgets why they're fighting.
Shadow of Mordor
- The biggest of Jesse's mistakes would have to be the episode titled "Too Many Orcs", where a bonus objective says to Strike From Above. Jesse attempts this, only to fall onto a captain. After a few moments, Jesse is surrounded and meets another captain. And then a third one. At one point, you can hear him throw the controller to the floor.
- At one point, Jesse kills a captain named Klimp... Only for the guy to return not five minutes later. Jesse is astounded and starts screaming.
Dragon Age: Inquisition
- Not even five minutes into the game Jesse decides he has to remake the player character in the image of Nicolas Cage (or, as Jesse called him, Nicolas Mage).
- Jesse's idea for the next game- Dragon Age IV: The Demons Have Guns.
Far Cry 4
- The first time Jesse finds a small body of water, he guesses that there's probably loot on the bottom, but is nervous about entering. He spends a couple minutes wondering if there are any kinds of sharks that live in the Himalayan mountains.
- In Part 3, one of the first things Jesse does after completing the game's prologue is to open a menu and scan the available hides for anything like a "giant sharkskin."
- Later on, Jesse spends quite a bit of time swimming about in a lake trying to get more loot, all the while horrified that something is going to snatch him in the water, especially after accidentally tossing some bait in. A few minutes later, he learns that his next loot bag upgrade requires him to find and skin Demon Fish, which up until this point he hadn't even heard of. Something that he might have been unknowingly swimming with the entire time. You can practically hear him teeter on the edge of having a "Screw This, I'm Outta Here!" moment.
- In one episode, Jesse accidentally runs over the sherpa he was looking for. A short while later, instead of boarding a hang-glider, he throws it off the cliff he found it on.
) UNTRAINED CIVILIAN!
Heroes of the Storm
- Heroes of the Storm - THE GREATEST UNDERDOG STORY EVER is this because at the end of the day we have four cute creatures; Brightwing, Lili, Murky and Baby Abathur with the only 'serious' character being Valla beating powerhouses like Tyrande, Tychus, Tassadar, Muradin and the Lich King. It's even more hilarious when you start to think of them as the Muppet Babies of Blizzard, with Valla as their babysitter.
The Fan Fridays are hilarious in and of themselves, as it seems the fans doing the suggesting seem to make it a point to find the craziest games imaginable for him to play. Some particularly good moments, however:
- Jesse's reactions to realizing he's playing a girl in Hatoful Boyfriend. Which also makes his not using the name Cox Hilarious in Hindsight.
- The end of the I Wanna Be the Guy Gaiden video.
Jesse: "WHY WOULD IT EVEN DO THIS?! I SAID I WOULDN'T RAGE! I PROMISED I WOULDN'T RA-!"
Jesse: *furiously pounds on desk*
- Even better is the apparent reason the screen flipped on him at the end. All throughout the video was a notice about a new patch to the game, warning retribution if you didn't download it. When the screen flips, you see at the bottom, upside down, the text "What part of get the patch do you not understand".
- Part 2 of that Fan Friday has him playing Slender, and freaking out within seconds before he's even done anything. By the end...
I've never been so afraid of grass rendering in my entire damn life.
- That is followed shortly after by momentary distortion and Jesse staring at the screen in silent horror for a good ten seconds.
- From The Political Machine Rematch with Crendor: Hipster Lincoln! Jesse laughs for nearly 20 seconds straight before he can come up with a coherent response.
- Any of Crendor's characters seems to be able to do the trick. The same thing happens in the final battle.
- Before even watching the video: the preview thumbnail for Jesse's 9/27/12 "Revenge of the Q&A" shows Jesse wearing a Bane mask from The Dark Knight Rises. Jesse is inordinately fond of his Bane-slash-Deckard Cain impersonation.
- In his second attempt at FTL, Jesse gets boarded by an attacker with the same name as one of his recently deceased crew members. ATREYU!!!
- Jesse is bad at farming.
- THE MOST EXCITING GAME EVER.
- Most of the video is Jesse failing to stop in time to pick up passengers, rambling about nothing in particular, and finally deciding to just screw it and try to derail the train. He manages to do so, AND THE TRAIN GOES THROUGH A BRIDGE.
- The Fan Friday featuring Katawa Shoujo. Pretty much all of it, but highlights include his consistent mispronunciation of the Japanese words, the cartoonish voices he gives the characters such as the teacher Mutou, and his reaction to realizing just what kind of game he's playing.
(to the viewers who requested this game) Oh God... you dicks... you dicks... is this a game where a kid with arrhythmia actively tries to bang disabled girls? *sigh* Look, I'm gonna make the best of this but if any of you assholes out there who are gonna start writing me like "Jesse you're making humorous comments about disabled students." This is on you. This is on you, for making me play this!
- The Ship Murder Party Fan "Frunday" is pretty much wall-to-wall hilarity. One of the best parts has to be when they start off playing a regular version of the game and Jesse finds himself on the hunt for Dora A. bin-Laden. Then they switch over to "World Leaders" mode server, a mod where the players must hunt down and kill various world leaders. Among them is a certain other bin-Laden. Jesse is in hysterics when he finds this out.
- "Hey George, I hear you've been looking for me!"
- The video was made not long after Margaret Thatcher passed away. She's one of the characters in the game mode. This being The Ship, this creates some awkward moments. Meanwhile, omzit runs through the corridors calling for Thatcher's blood whenever he gets her as a target. So many Too Soon comments are made that one player goes so far as to suggest they ought to just make it the title, and is part of the reason Jesse calls it "The Most Offensive Game Ever".
- During the Fan Friday of Game Dev Tycoon, Jesse's hastily thrown together Take That, Critics! is his mos successful game to date, cracking him up. Earlier, his most successful game was "Last Hope" (which inadvertently repeated Square's history with the original Final Fantasy).
- Jesse plays Knights of Pen and Paper, a game about a group of people playing a traditional Tabletop RPG together. By the end of the video, Jesse's group members include Grandma the paladin, a hipster mage, and Woofie the cleric.
- In the Ride To Hell Retribution video, Jesse comes across a truck he has to powerslide under. After multiple failed attempts (because the game is telling him to push what he thinks is the up arrow, when it means shift), he simply drives around the damn thing. And then there's his reaction to the sex scenes.
- Goat Simulator. The whole damn thing.
- Near the end of Volgarr The Viking, Jesse declares that if he can just finish the level, he'll be happy. He finally reaches the top of the fortress... and meets the first boss. he doesn't finish the level.
Jesse: Son of a bitch!
- Five Nights at Freddy's: The Deadpool cupcake, and Jesse absentmindedly playing with the lights during the intro if you know how the game works You're supposed to manage your resources so that the power lasts all night. Jesse just wasted a whole bunch of it..
- Inevitably the video ends when Freddy gets Jesse, who is trying to sing along with his song in an attempt to survive. He is interrupted mid-song and screams and babbles in terror before pausing.
Jesse: .....FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOU!
Minecraft and RPG Makers
- Jesse’s blind first foray into Minecraft. Having no idea what he’s supposed to be doing, he ends up confused and terrified.
- Slyfox and the Yogscast both have a go at trying to explain Minecraft to Jesse, with variying levels of success.
- “Damn you Cookie Monster!” The start of omzit’s Running Gag of throwing cookies in everyone’s way.
- ”Trust us, we’re Americans.”
- Meeuwes randomly starts singing a Dutch rap song where the only line in English is Diamonds on my neck, bitch.” And he keeps going, even while Jesse and the others are making fun of him and trying to figure out what the heck he’s saying.
Jesse:What does that mean? *Meeuwes keeps singing* '’What does that mean?’’
Jesse:*starts singing random nonsense* I can make up gibberish words too, what does that mean? *Meeuwes ignores him and keeps going*
- "Don’t fall off naked baby!”
- Any of the "build days" where fans and sometimes professionals are invited on to the server to help with large scale builds. Hilarity often ensues along with the awesomeness.
- One day, Omzit shows up drunk…
Jesse:People watching right now are probably like “Boy. Thomas is extra annoying today. Well…”
omzit:Oh, annoying, is that what I am now?! Well thank you very f*cking much you…buh, something!
- After months of waiting, a new episode finally came out. Hilarity ensued.
- Thomas, at Jesse's request, does a rap about pirates. Jesse then asks for a rap about Meeuwes. The result has to be censored multiple times.
- The censor beep gets used several more times after that. At one point Lewis repeats something that gets beeped out - all we know is that he didn't know it was offensive and he somehow added a slur and made it worse.
- The Golden Hoe.
- "I'm trying to congratulate you and you're all cats."
- The Running Gag that they keep unintentionally building things that look like penises.
- RPG Makers: Memory Lane has everyone going back through all the old stuff they build and remembering all the stupid jokes they made.
- Meeuwes and Jesse prancing.
- They try out a boss fight, but since they don't have the custom mobs in yet it looks like a skeleton turns into a spider. Jesse complains/mocks them about this for the rest of the video.
- RPG Makers: BUILD DAY IS COMING!!!
- Jesse finds a little grove out in the middle of nowhere that he's told to ignore. Obviously he doesn't, and he decides that it's going to be an Easter Egg with a circle of Omzits/Thomas' that dance once every hour, and a hidden weapon that looks like a cookie and makes more cookies.
Jesse: This is a thing now!
Non-Video Game Moments
Cox N' Crendor Podcast
- The December 11, 2012 episode. Jesse gets way too much enjoyment out of hearing Crendor mispronounce the word "scarce" early in the show.
- Starting off on what would be a trend of focusing on odd things that happen Only in Florida, they discuss the state's notoriety for having the most cases of public masturbation. Jesse comes up with an ad that involved old men masturbating while "Cheeseburger in Paradise" plays, and becomes too amused.
- And by "too amused" we mean that Jesse seriously thought that he was in danger of dying from being unable to stop laughing. According to him if he had succeeded: Worth It.
- Due to Crendor being a Chicago native, the duo will inadvertently parody Bill Swerski's Superfans when discussing sports, complete with Jesse horrendously attempting a Chicago accent that sounds more Eastern European.
- The Valentine's Day episode, in which Jesse gives Crendor a quiz on whether or not certain statements are RPG plotlines, or Florida headlines. Some of the answers will surprise you.
- Crendor's repeated demands for Squishables, and Jesse's annoyance when fans actually start sending them to him.
- http://jessecoxtombstonequotes.com/ - A site dedicated to Jesse's "Tombstone Quotes." The random quotes that Jesse makes that. Each comment typically Makes Just as Much Sense in Context.
- The Pele conversation. Jesse was unable to stop laughing for a good 2 minutes straight.
- Jesse, whilst helping Rosanna Pansino film an episode of Nerdy Nummies, accidentally dropped one of the cupcakes. Large Ham ensues.
- A Running Gag throughout the The Gamestation's Free For All of Chivalry Medieval Warfare has Jesse shouting his Battle Cry of "FALRAK IS A DOOB!!!!", followed by epic music, usually followed shortly by the music abruptly halting (sometimes with Record Needle Scratch) when Jesse dies. Made funnier later on when Jesse uses a completely different theme after the Falrak-cry.
- The 27th TGS Podcast in which Jesse serenades Felicia Day, who he has been a Stalker with a Crush towards for some time. Hilarity Ensues.
: I've got to admire the effort... TotalBiscuit
: I've got to be slightly terrified by the effort. Felicia
: It's restraining-level order effort, like, restraining-order level effort.
- Podcast #39 Jesse is introduced to Irn-Bru.
Jesse: This stuff is like liquid meth!
- The combination of Irn Bru and a Boost candy bar also may have contributed to the now-legendary SqueEnix rant.
- For his fourth round in the TGS Blood Bowl League Jesse convinces both himself and The Completionist to engage in an increasingly elaborate drinking game. Guess how this turned out.
- TGS Podcast 50, while discussing his past as a teacher, Jesse tells a story in which he went back to his old school to apologize for his past Class Clown behavior, having gained a whole new appreciation for what teachers deal with. Security had been upped since he was there last, resulting in him being accosted by a guard and taken to the office. The office secretary's reaction: "Back in the office again, eh, Cox?"
- TGS Podcast 52, Jesse describing the Dungeons & Dragons game he and Dodger played while at Gemucon.
Jesse: By hobgoblin law!
- TGS Podcast 61, TB, Jesse, Dodger and Crendor spend the last 10 minutes discussing a bad porno game.
- Almost the entirety of the Guns Of Icarus Online match is hilarious, but this exchange on Jesse's ship took the cake.
Jesse: You can shake each other's dongs later. Lets go!
Cry: Dongs! What the hell did I miss?!
Jesse: Well... Dodger found a mystical potion and...
Cry: Ahhh... Futa. I understand.
- During Dodger's 12 Hour live-stream, Jesse gets very... excited, when he learns that Husky hasn't played Left 4 Dead 2.
- During Jesse's livestream of Secret of Mana, he constantly makes everyone chant "FLAMEY! FLAMEY!" and banters with Strippin of the Yogscast who ends up being the only mod in the chat at some point.
- They name the characters Suplex, L Horse (Lava Horse) and Dooger.
- The Blue Whale joke. And even though it crosses the line way too many times, the Cinderblock joke told by Brofu.
- Dodger's response to a question from chat. She would kill her old grandmother, marry her twin, and have sex with a guy who later turns out to be her son.
- At one Blizzcon, Jesse asked Chris Metzen and Dave Kosak (the head of creative development and lead quest designer, respectively) about a giant snake tail in a World of Warcraft dungeon. They had no idea what he was talking about since it was just something the artists threw in, but Jesse even printed out a poster-sized image of a screenshot he took of the dang thing! Then, nearly two years later, Jesse is interviewing Dave Kosak and Kosak exclaims happily "You were the snake-tail guy!"
- TB asks people to watch his Hearthstone vids so he will be more powerful than Miley Cyrus and Vevo, Jesse takes it to mean TB is going to twerk.
- And right after they mention Hearthstone, Crendor shows up in the chat.
- At Home with Uncle Wormy. The best part is that clearly, he's put some thought into his answer before making it.
- "Talk like you're speaking language!"
- "David Cage is a golden god!" Unsurprisingly, this has been raised to Memetic Mutation status. Type David Cage into Google and look at the suggestions.
- Jesse's apparent lack of privacy in his apartment complex, seen as a series of people coming in from behind or off-camera. To date, the TGS/Co-Optional Podcast has been interrupted by his housecleaning service, a window washer, and the Marina del Rey fire department. Since Jesse works at home and is only seen from the waist up on the podcasts, he seldom wears pants, leading to interesting reactions.
- Jesse attends Blizzcon dressed as Leah from Diablo III and spends the entire time speaking in a Valley Girl accent.
- And Crendor and Total Biscuit are both shown playing with his hair...er, wig.
- He even goes and asks a panel questions in character!
- Jesse plays Day Nine in Magic: The Gathering, and loses, to say the least.
- Jesse putting on a random pointless accent while describing the creature he just played quickly morphs into a Running Gag about a drake flying around Europe picking up accents.
- Day9 finally attacks Jesse, and the conversation devolves into Fantastic Racism against merfolkThe Mangler. and eventually into Jesse just ranting about how useless all his options are. Day9 declares it the best block phase he's ever experienced.
- Jesse consistently draws land cards and basically nothing else useful the entire game. After losing, he takes the top five cards from his remaining deck and slams them on the table, and all five are land. Both crack up, with Jesse lamenting that they weren't playing Monopoly.
- The Co-Optional Podcast, Episode 18: Crendor's incredibly fake Polaris contract(s).
- There's a Running Gag of Jesse eating foreign "trash snacks" on the Podcasts, stuff that tastes so off to people not-adjusted that it floors him. One particularly memorable time was when the candy came looking like a pill, even TB, who by this point knows how this ends but hasn't stopped it before, told Jesse not to do it. Then Jesse decided to just pour from the box, and his reaction makes you think it sent him into a convulsive fit.
- Pretty much the entire trailer for Learning Curve
- Jesse and TB host a special Christmas stream, where they play Depth, a game about sharks. TB constantly promises that Jesse gets to be the shark to own his fear, and then the game mode defaults to a King of the Hill-type mode where only one person at a time gets to be the shark...and Jesse freaks out.
YOU SAID WE'D BE SHARKS! YOU SAID WE'D BE SHARKS!
The Scary Game Squad
Slender: The Arrival
- Before the main playthrough, they played a bit of the beginning to see if it was "still scary". Spoiler: it was.
- Threatening to stab Slenderman multiple times.
- At one point they intentionally walk straight towards Slenderman intending to take him on (even thought they know full well that's not in the game mechanics). Luckily for them it was still early in the game so he just disappears.