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Funny / JesuOtaku

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  • The opening to JO's Ikki Tousen review, where he explains the series in a completely serious tone of voice while randomly including the bits of fanservice.
    • And the ending, a rare RAGE moment upon finding out there's four seasons (the Red Snark Text reflects it even better).
  • JO's disorganised ramble fest that can loosely be called a Let's Play of Star Fox 64 has him trash talking everything during the fight with Star Wolf.
  • Meryl and Milly's nicknames abbreviating into PMS and DMT in the first part of the Trigun Inbetweens.
    • The Kuroneko-sama signal. Okay, the third volume is just adorable, but still.
    • His tribute to "Boot Knife," complete with slow-motion footage and "Danny Boy" as background music.
    • "I would say a little bit of Milly got into [Wolfwood's] system, but we won't see that until episode 23!" *heyooo!*
    • During the recording of the first half of Vol. III, thunder heralded Legato's introduction, resulting in this blooper:
      JesuOtaku: *thunder sounds* A gruesome metaFUCK. THIS THUNDER IS RUINING MAH RECORDING!
  • From JO's Top 15 Dubbed Anime Themes, regarding "Rock the Dragon":
    Whether you were a little dude or a little chick, this song made you want to bench press the sofa, eat the entire box of frosted flakes including the box and Kamehameha your older siblings into OBLIVION for sleeping in or your younger siblings for... existing, pretty much, and if your parents had anything to say about it, well they could shut up and go back to bed because this was DRAGON BALL Z!!
    • He's chewing almost as much scenery as the DBZ intro!
    • When he mentions that Vic Mignogna covered True Light, cue the clip of the Ouran High School Host Club cast announcements (which of course he gets fed up with).
    • Regarding the Sailor Moon theme:
      Why do the girls just give up singing when they get to Sailor Jupiter? Did the ice cream truck pass by outside while they were recording or something?
      "Sailor Venus! Sailor Mars! Sailor Mercury! Sailor Jupiter... [ice cream truck music is heard in the background] Can I have a quarter?
  • Her Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking moment in her Most Deliciously Evil Anime Villains countdown, while talking about Frieza. Saying that his crimes, "include blowing up at least two planets, exterminating countless races including the strongest of all, the Saiyans, killing countless more Nameks causing their elder to die of plain old grief, back to back in relishing the torturous deaths of numerous lead characters... and making bad jokes... (well okay. He actually has a pretty good sense of humor.) and under suspicion of batting for some other team I... really... don't wanna know about."
    • Then after a brief clip of Frieza "caressing them," he showed us this image.◊
  • Digimon Adventure 02
    • His brief summation of the Destiny Stone arc.
    • His description of what Wormmon does as Ken's partner.
    JO: Wormmon's partner duties include doing Ken's laundry, delivering messages and generally being an office bitch.
    • The fairly logical assumption for BlackWarGreymon's popularity: The power of Blum.
    • Getting horrified when he realizes Oikawa looks like Tommy Wiseau.
    • THE KACHINA DOLL OF DOOOOOOOM!
    • His slowly growing frustration of the Plot Hole that everyone over the world has seen the Digimon world in the previous series but doesn't remember it. The frustration ends in an atomic explosion.
    • When the Big Bad says it's time to reveal himself, he responds, "For the last time man, there are children present!"
    • His subtitled reaction to young Gennai
      I APPROVE OF THIS CHANGE! *q*
  • Some of JO's responses to Digimon Adventure 02's infamous epilogue qualify, including...
    • JO's first reaction:
    JO: Where do I begin? First of all, I love how all of the kids have these enormously successful jobs and at least one kid who looks exactly like them! Oh wait, no—I HATE IT! The kid thing is lazy and the magical awesome occupations are ludicrous! Can't any of the DigiDestined just be average? Or hey, unmarried? Oh wait, Japan, guess not.
    • JO ends up of the belief that the epilogue was meant to close off the series to any sequels—and not in the good "no more loose ends" kinda way, but in a "THIS THREE MINUTES IS CANON NOW, HA HA HA HA HA!" kinda way.
    • He manages to make some sense of the occupations at first, like Cody being a lawyer and Ken being a detective, whilst also admitting that others (Kari being a teacher, Izzy being a researcher and Joe being a doctor) were basically Foregone Conclusions...but proceeds to point out the complete ridiculousness that is Davis being on the cover of Time magazine.
    JO: But Davis being on the cover of Time is PREPOSTEROUS! Oh yeah, world-famous ramen cartels, right next to world-famous roadside delis! Why not make him an everyman who's happy selling noodles? That suits him!
    • JO is confused at Yolei being a housewife, but is quick to add a "Not That There's Anything Wrong with That" disclaimer to this argument.
    • Tai wearing a suit makes JO cringe.
    • His reaction to Sora being a fashion designer.
    JO: Yeah, you know? The tomboy who practically ran away from home because her parents wanted her to be a florist? It's like a slap in the face to her character!
    • He describes Matt being an astronaut as "coming out of the blewdy-who-knows-where".
    • JO kinda snarkily suggests a Die for Our Ship perspective regarding Matt and Sora marrying instead of Tai and Sora, commenting that people apparently blame him for Sora's Girliness Upgrade.
    JO: Stupid husband, keepin' the woman down!
  • From his top 20 openings of 2010, listen to his reaction at how many references that got into Princess Jellyfish's opening and try not to giggle.
    • And in 2011's countdown, his hilariously epic summary of Toriko's plot.
  • The beginning of the Magic Knight Rayearth review — dueling with Christmas trees!
    • And before that, he and his friends perform their combined Magical Girl attack... which summons the tree. JO tempts fate by asking if it has magic powers. The tree then lights up and starts playing "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." Cue Face Palm from JO.
  • Eiken...just the entire review, really, but:
    • Bennett the Sage's cameo and occasional comments. In the title credits JO adds a "Screw you~!" while he headwalls.
    • "What is the Eiken Club, and why do they want [Densuke]? NOBODY KNOWS, we're never told or even given the slightest inkling to guess on~!"
    • The reaction to one of the girls saying he has an A-cup rack. 'NO. By that logic, I'd be concave.@_@'
    • The comment about the most competent actor being played by MICROSOFT SAM.
    • As he starts to wrap up the review, Prof makes a quick cameo.
    Prof: Media Blasters, purveyors of fine pornography!
  • On the description for the Kaze no Stigma review:
    Wind and Fire magic...? If they find an Earth magic-user, they could form a funk band!
  • For the Karin review: "When going vampire hunter, always disguise yourself as a gay firetruck."
  • In the Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann review, the cameo by Chester A. Bum, which pretty much speaks for itself.
    • Also from that review, "Physics? FUUUUCK YOOUUR PHYSIIIIICCS!!"
  • "Gaze at the mighty snout of Saruta and despair~"
    • Also, the opener, in which JO drinks the blood of the phoenix... only to suddenly transform into a giant parakeet.
  • Koi Kaze:
    • "AW HELL NAW!"
    • "However, [Dorcas Aurelia] made me watch Koi Kaze. And for that, he will be torn apart by rabid dogs."
    • "Backpedal faster! I can hear banjos!" In fact, most of the subtitles.
    • The reveal for the next review. Complete with Shout-Out to A Clockwork Orange.
    • His guess as to what ACTG is an acronym for:
      "Abstract Company...That...Grapes...@_@"
  • The review of Master of Martial Hearts picking up where we left off...though after 12 seconds JO interrupts and says Sage has been smiling like that for the entire time between the two reviews (3 weeks).
    • The various captions on the censor bars.
    • "[Studio Arms' anime] mainly consist of torture porn and Elfen Lied...so just torture porn, basically."
    • The transition between Sage convincing him to watch the last episode, and his reaction? A cheerful text screen, backed by the Green Acres theme: "And so! 30 minutes later..."
    • JO's sudden realization of hope (pun not intended), unintentionally sending Sage into a sudden depression. Doubles as a Heartwarming Moment when we see him playing with the dog of one of his roommates.
  • In his review of FLCL, a clip of Naota's dad telling his mother that he might run out of his backlog of Crystal Pepsi is shown. Come on, who else would make a cameo for that line?
    Lloyd (Brad's cat): What is it, Brad?
    Brad: I dunno, Lloyd... there's somewhere... there's somewhere I need to be.
  • Adolescence of Utena
    • Oancitizen gets lost trying to find symbolism in Utena's pink hair when JO basically tells him to forget it, it's just typical for anime. Defeated Oancitizen can only shout "BUT IT'S PINK!".
    • Also that he just can't get over it, even when he makes a later cameo and refuses to even talk to his for fear of another "rainbow-haired nonsense-fest".
    • JO's otaku rage-gasm when Oan refers to anime as children's cartoons.
    • JO and Oan acting out what it'll be like to live in the castle shown in the movie.
    • "Oh, great. The bronies got him."
    • The end of that review, with JO quickly summarizing the last 20 minutes of the film in an extremely over-enthusiastic manner while Oancitizen just keeps going "WHAT?!" at basically every single detail of it.
      • "Why is this pink-haired bitch a CAR?!"
      JO: [waves his hands at him] Syymmbol-iism!!
      Oan: [pushes him over]
      • It's even funnier when it comes after Oancitizen finally managing a detailed analysis of the movie and possibly gaining a newfound respect for the medium. By the time Utena turns into a car, all that goes right out the window.
    • Akio's "death". That is all.
      • Also, the butterflies and rainbows that appear in front of Jesu and Oan whenever Akio leaps over the front of the car.
    "And this is why people really don't like this movie." "I have entirely different reasons for not liking it." "Quiet you."
    • That scene with the cow and elephants. Or rather, JO's gleeful maniac grin before and after it, and how Kyle reacts to the scene.
    • From the commentary on the review:
    Oan: The first screening was just a blur. I just remember "blah blah blah lesbianism, blah blah blah cars."
    • "So that's the best review I can give to this film. Kyle?" "Piss." "Okay, Thank you very much."
  • From his Digimon Tamers retrospective, describing the battle against Vikaralamon as everything going "bloody-hoo crazy!"
    • Also, trying to keep OF COURSE! out of the video, only to give in with an annoyed "You people and your memes." He reacts with annoyance when the gag returns.
    • His various reactions/video reactions to the various ways that Tamers twists the many basic mythos elements.
      • The Metafiction Meter! It blows up first when Takato puts on goggles in order to accord with the TV show in a strange meta twist. The second time is when Ryo shows up, leading to a second self-destruct. "I just fixed it, You Bastard!!"
    • "I'm sorry, furries. Your goddess is barren."
    • "But now they're several climates away from the flag and Rika wants to kill them!"
    • After Impmon finishes his Deal with the Devil, JO makes an appropriate commentary to the next scene. "Excellent. Now into the pits of hell with you. And here, have a motorcycle."
    • When Ryo suggests that he can get Kazu and Kenta home via a different dimension, JO, who just explained how this Ryo is the exact same one from Adventure 02, goes on to say this:
    JO: Yeah, you can team up with Davis and make Izzy wanna kill himself!
    • "Can people stop feeding the giant Hell's Angel Cat Monster, please?"
    • When he finally namedrops Guilmon's dark Mega form: "So when Megidramon...yeah, y'know like 'Megiddo', the valley of the Apocalypse!"
    • The terrifying counter deciding Screw This, I'm Outta Here.
    • JO giving a scenario that's "Good News, Bad News" in hindsight; something new that Hypnos has managed something that means that they can see what the D-Reaper sees. The bad news? This happens to be able to see the Digidestined while they are Bio-Merged with their partners, and, well, as JO and his snarktitles put it:
    JO: This means the whole of Japan can see you BUTT NAKED TAKATO!
    Snarktitles: A dramatic moment that turns REALLY EMBARRASSING when you think about it more XD
    • "Lying to your parents/children/family! It's a thing now."
    • As he notes how more... close the bond between Rika and Renamon can be, he often plays over clips with Renamon in the German dub of the show just for the giggles.
    • This line: "The BAD news is, I'm about to introduce you to your night terrors for the next few weeks!"
    • In his character retrospective about Jeri, he notes that she had just enough qualities to keep from being cliched before snarkily adding "And besides, we already have one of those" over footage of Ryo.
  • At the start of his Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) review, several members of TGWTG recommend series to kick his 50th anime review off on a high note!
    JO: Which Pokemon movies?
    Critic: [Dramatic pointing] AAALLL OF THEEMMM!!!
    JO: Aaah!
    • JO decides he knows someone more knowledgeable, and phones MarzGurl, who immediately starts listing every available anime in alphabetic order and only stopping to catch a breath when JO returns to her a few clips later, midway through "O."
    • Which convinces him he needs someone a little less knowledgeable than that:
    Todd in the Shadows: Anime...uh, anime...That's like, Japanimationy stuff?
  • The Witchblade review starts with JO remembering he has a job interview but has no clean laundry other than a Black Lantern shirt. What does he do, you may ask? He goes absolutely naked, with a picture of a cat censoring him.
    JO: My god, if I can't make a good impression, at least I'll make a lasting one!
    • A scene with Masane jumping out of a helicopter and stumbling to the ground is accompanied by "And her kneecaps split off and flew twenty feet!".
    • While JO talks about the bouncing, a caption warns one of the characters "Protect yourself, man! They're ALIVE!"
    • To see if fans of the original American comic would like it, "I have procured a casual fan of the comic [Nash], currently in a state of cookie-induced calm." (It doesn't last.)
    • JO fake-harps on the fanservice part of the show given the... less pleasant fanservice shows he's reviewed, until he makes a comeback with:
    JO:Have you seen some of the stuff that I like?
    (Cue the cookie "eating" scene from Ouran High School Host Club)
    JO: Mmm, me gusta!
    • After he goes on to explain why he doesn't mind the fanservice in Witchblade as much as he did for other shows he reviewed, he concludes that portion of the review with "So let's just not talk about the fanservice for the rest of the review. It exists! A lot of it exists!"
    • He states that a Hollywood adaptation of the franchise was in Development Hell for a while, only to crack up laughing when he discovers that it's supposed to be directed by "that guy who did Queen of the Damned".
    JO: Oh, I expect nothing less than a MASTERPIECE how bout you?
    • At the end of the review, we have Nash chasing him with a litany of "fuck" trailing behind him.
  • Ergo Proxy: "YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE BLAH SO WE PUT BLAH IN YOUR BLEH SO YOU CAN GUH WHILE YOU ZZZZZ~"
    • "HOPE YOU LIKE GRAY!"
  • His livestream playthrough of Path of Radiance, with silly voices for characters. Highlights include Volke as William Shatner, Ike as Funimation!Luffy, Elincia as Naomi, Soren as Super Kami Gurunote , Oliver as Herbert The Pervert, and Sanaki as Eric Cartman.
    • And then there's the Running Gag of Boyd (himself given a 90's Kid voice) being blamed for game crashes and other problems with the stream.
    • The silly names given to weapons he forges. Including but not limited to: a lance named Betty Crock, a wind magic tome named The Happening, an axe named And My Axe!, a bow named Ass Blaster, a fire magic book named Thermite, and a spear named Dragonfucker.
  • The beginning of his Paradise Kiss review has him modeling in a fashion show, with his cats as the judges.
  • The end of his vlog about The Avengers, where one of the cats jumps into frame and just... stays there while JO harps at it. Made all the better by the fact that it's not blocking him, and the camera's somehow focusing on both him and it so that a casual glance would lead one to assume it was a Mega Neko out of nowhere.
  • He starts off his Pom Poko retrospective by getting one thing out of the way: Magical. Raccoon. Scrotum.
  • The Fruits Basket Radio Drama extras. It starts off with the narrator (in-show, a soothing, welcome male voice) shouting at the listener while the snarktitles keep making bout faces.
    • His having to black-box Todd's face, with the accompanying subtitles "Dammit, Todd."
    • Liam (the voice actor for Hatsuharu in the show) doing a fandub edition of "Call Me Maybe" as Haru to go along with the then-most recent radio drama episodes.
  • During the Howl's Moving Castle review, he mentions that this was the first appearance of Christian Bale's Batman voice. He then overlays Howl's "I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful" line over a scene from Batman Begins.
    • Made better by how the scene actually ends with Batman taking a dramatic dive.
  • A few moments in his Tales from Earthsea retrospective.
    • His suggesting of a drinking game over Arren's narmy, mopey expressions followed by his ranting commentary text on Arren's clips.
    • Noting that the scar on the main girl only looks as if he slept on a keyboard.
      • On that note, the light scar leads him to remind the viewer of another failed fantasy adaptation and give us some time to comprehend that yes... Ghibli made its own The Last Airbender.
    • He's restrained from using red snarktitles throughout the Ghibli retrospective, but in this case they came back with a vengeance.
  • His Highschool of the Dead review opens up to JO sitting down, saying how awesome it was to hang out with the Channel Awesome crew and make a movie with them. Then he goes on to say how he's so surprised at an event that supposedly happens in the aforementioned movie, but it's censored with a bleep effect and a black bar over his mouth that says "nope".
    • The face of despair he gets when he sees Sage, the very image of the ;A; emoticon.
    • The Rule of Three gag that he runs from Sage to the rooms of Linkara, Angry Joe, and MarzGurl, who are happy to take him in, only for him to look away for a second and see that Sage has taken their place and wearing their clothes. The third time he's seen running, he yells in an exhausted and even slightly bored voice.
    • When JesuOtaku asks Sage what he's done with the three. He states that he's done nothing. Cut to them in the hotel lobby playing a card game.
    • At the end of the video when JO becomes the next Sage, we have his hammy Evil Laugh. And him walking to the lobby offering to play a game with the three. When they ask him what he wants to play, he holds up something off-screen, causing the three to make a ;A; face and scream in terror.
    • Pretty much every moment that Angry Joe is onscreen.
  • In his Puella Magi Madoka Magica review: ZOMG DAAARK SUBVURRZHUN!
  • Unnecessary Censorship of Digimon Adventure.
    Heeeeeey Gabumon. Watch it, Mimi may sneak up and steal your [bleep]! So if you feel a little tug, it might be her about to cut your [bleep] off!
    This annihilation of childhood memories brought to you by JesuOtaku. Thanks for watching! ^o^d
  • The madness that was The Penguin Death Lottery.
  • The Top 20 Anime Themes of 2012:
  • His Tom Cruise imitation in "Hollywood Drive: Concerning Hobbits."
  • This snippet from "Hollywood Drive: Unchained Misery:"
    "[As his hand rises] What sad, fun-hating individual doesn't love everything about Tarantino's work, and doesn't find him to be the summital director of our age? [Pushes down arm] Stop that."
    • His re-enactment of Jean Valjean's prologue reformation, which had him lip-synching to a sped-up version of the song. Also:
    "Do you see the people's pores, sweating the sweat of sweaty men? It's in the movie of a Hooper who will not win Best Picture again!"
  • In the first DesuRattle, he reveals that his first episode of Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) was Night of the Chimera's Cry, which he watched at midnight. Sleeping was not done that night. On the upside, it sold FMA as a quality series for him. He brings it up later in he Top 25 Favorite Anime List:
    JO: My first episode was Night of the Chimera's Cry. That's right, the Nina Tucker story. And I watched this at midnight. In the dark. In the middle of nowhere.
  • From Anime Derby Summer 2013 part 1:
    "Can't we have something that makes me feel good and warm and fuzzy inside?" *Gilligan Cut to Free!'s extremely good looking male protagonists*
  • Also his sarcastic paraphrasing of the male fans' pearl-clutching:
    "...with the male fandom insisting that KyoAni's 'high-end output' — Pfffft"
  • In his Evangelion review:
    • The ending, wherein he runs off to hide from angry fans.
    • His more in-depth analysis has a couple, like him quipping that saying "Blah, Blah, Blah" to the tune of "Meow Mix" is fun and his snarktitles responding to an onscreen question with "That's what I wanna know, anonymous interrogating cue card from beyond".
    • During the ending:
    JO: The movie, End of Evangelion used to be available from ADV—
    Shinji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
    JO: —but is now out of print.
    Snarktitles: Sorry about that, he's loud.

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