Allison 'Obscurus Lupa' Pregler is an (often) red-headed female reviewer on That Guy with the Glasses who takes on Z-grade movies, usually in the horror or martial arts genre; a roughly similar beat to The Cinema Snob, but tending towards dumb action flicks and a morbid enjoyment of them. She began reviewing in late 2009 and after gaining some notoriety on their forums, she became a member of the TGWTG family.
Obscurus Lupa Presents: Z-movies from the early 70's to the modern day. A "Z" movie for Lupa is something that doesn't have the capability or the budget to do something incredible. Not all the movies are bad. Some are terrible.
Commercial Dubs: Lupa riffs on TV spots and film trailers from the 90's in her inimitable style.
Aluminum Christmas Trees: The movie poster wall from her title screen? That's not a photo collage, that thing's real. Lupa admitted that not all of the posters appeal to her personally; some were gifts.
Alternatively, Billy's parents decided to theme his entire life around the number eleven just to mess with him.
She concludes by the end of her review of The Amazing Bulk that General Darwin is not actually a general, nor is there any military installation; he's just a crazy old man and the entire film is hallucinatory.
The denizens of Seseme Street are bent on converting Oscar, an agnostic humanist, to their Christmas Cult.
Without Leo around, the Charmed Ones wouldn't survive two episodes. He'd be there out saving even more lives, too, if the sisters didn't constantly need him to hold their shopping bags. Also, he seems to be harboring a mancrush on Cole/Daryl.invoked
This is further explored in Season Six, when the sisters go on a citywide rampage to get the Whitelighters' attention: crashing a news broadcast, exposing magic to the world, and vaporizing the Golden Gate Bridge.invoked
Conversely, when a empathy spell is cast on Phoebe, it only increases her empathy for herself.
Cole is a Chew Toy who is constantly driven to madness by his (soon-to-be ex) wife Phoebe, who keeps foiling his attempts to do good and seems intent on killing him . ...Unless that was his plan all along. Monster!
And once they do kill him, Phoebe periodically goes to Hell to torture him personally.
This culminates with beginning the review of the sixth season using an edited version of the Freddy's Nightmares opening which replaces Freddy's name with hers.
The off-screen heroics of "Newmie and Shippy" give the impression that Mitch and his pack of cretinous idiots are being kept safety on land (Mitch only keeps his job because Thorpe resignedly grades everyone on a curve), while the actual waters are patrolled by an omni-disciplined league of aquatic supermen.
Mitch on Baywatch is portrayed as the ultimate deadbeat dad, frequently mistaking Hobie for inanimate objects and fighting his ex for custody... of his favorite surfer bum hat. Cue sad Tibetan flutes. ("The Sky is Falling")
"What a selfish, awful person! Seriously, who was watching this and didn't instantly see Emperor Palpatine through her thin, grimy veneer? She's the most heinous of people, the lowest of the low. I could murder her! And she's fictional!I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS WATCHING THIS SHOW—so anyway, don't like her much."
Over the course of the recaps, Charmed's Elders are promoted to dicks, such dicks, colossal dicks, a BAG of dicks, an entire city infrastructure of dicks, and penises.
She admits that, for all the insanity of the episode "Cyberwoman" from Torchwood, a cyborg woman fighting a pterodactyl is pretty cool.
The climax of Texas Chainsaw: The Next Generation has Renee Zellweger being pursued by two Illuminati agents in a black sedan, Leatherface in a woman suit, and a crop duster plane a la North By Northwest.
Charmed Season 6's "Bad Future" storyline, with hideously-cheap establishing shots of "2026 AD", hopeless time travel discontinuities, and Piper's spawn growing up to become dictator of the world ("And he looks hilariously like a member of Nickelback"). And with that, suddenly, the show finally barrels over the line where it becomes good.
Author Appeal:invoked Oh, she looooooooves Cynthia Rothrock. (and Richard Norton.)
She isn't above (gently) taking the piss out the martial arts queen. ( X-treme Fighter)
Be Careful What You Wish For: MikeJ sits though ten torturous minutes of Witchcraft 5 under the promise of seeing boobs. Ask and ye shall receive! ....And the sex scenes are just as monotonous as the rest of the film.
Lupa: Are ya bored yet? :3 MikeJ: You're an awful person.
All Just a Dream endings, which have appeared in numerous films that she has reviewed, and which get a different angry reaction each time.
She has pointed out that what bothers her the most is how these endings often do not make sense, as they often contradict previous scenes which imply that the movie is taking place in reality. She found this to be a major source of annoyance in 13 seconds, especially since the lead character dreamed of scenes he himself doesn't appear in.
Lupa: If this is ANOTHER DREAM SEQUENCE I SWEAR I'LL— *bolts awake* "Whoa!" Lupa:(Lifts trembling finger gun to head)
As Charmed grinds on, she continually reminds Phoebe of her Aesop Amnesia, to little avail. Particularly with regards to Cole, who was starting to make Pheobe look bad shortly before he was written out.
With Lupa herself, she's one of the nicer people on the site, but stalk her, not have fun or refuseto bea lady and she'll get scary. And like the apparent majority of people, she enjoys making the Critic suffer.
The "Groundhog Day" Loop of Phoebe Halliwell discovering love, giving up on love, and discovering it again. When Cole returns just for the sake of repackaging this turkey, Lupa responds with teeth-gritted "nnnnnnnnnNO."
Slow No: Her reaction to Sleepy Hollow High's "Fuck You" ending.
Again in the Baywatch episode "Message in a Bottle", when Mitch's preteen son starts "Blue Lagoon'ing it" with another child.
Sexy, sexy Captain Thorpe in tight orange shorts. ("The Sky is Falling")
Big "Shut Up!": Not-Hermione in The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens. When you strip away the charm and personality, turns out.... a walking dictionary is begging to be strangled to death.
"Shut up... shutupshutup...shut up...shu— why are you alive?"
Broke The Rating Scale: Throughout the OLP review of The Room she uses an "Oh hey" counter to count the number of times the characters say "Oh hey". When several characters greet each other with "Oh hey" in rapid-fire succession, the counter overloads and the movie spontaneously combusts.
My Boyfriend's Back manages to break the "Wackiness Meter", earning a slow clap.
Phoebe's selfishness grows exponentially as Charmed progresses. "I'm running out of larger quantities to measure her bitchiness by."
Buffy Speak: Charmed Season Six, the Daryliest of all the seasons.
Bumbling Dad: In her imaginings, Mitch believes his 12-year-old son is safe with him, only to realize that it's a lifeguard buoy wearing kid's swim trunks. Cue INCEPTION HORN. ("Message in a Bottle")
"A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender is like, "'Ey, horse, get out of my bar!" And the horse is like, "Neigh", 'cause it's a horse. (beat) And the bartender's like, "I throw you out." (falls silent)
Clingy MacGuffin: Of a sort. Lupa shirks off reviewing Gooby - only for a duplicate copy to appear, freaking her out.
Cloudcuckoolander: Tommy Wiseau and Patrick Stewart (as played by Jeremiah) are depicted as such in her reviews of The Room and Masterminds.
Lupa herself, making videos like "Top 10 Hottest Animated Dogs" (with the rug-dog from Beauty and the Beast being number one!) or "10 Reasons Why Cool as Ice is better than Citizen Kane", and often appearing rather ditzy and offbeat in crossovers.
Lupa: It's like watching an incredibly bloody car wreck. Horrible to witness, but also really funny! The Nostalgia Critic: [speechless, and too bewildered to be fully horrified]
*Cough* Snark *Cough*: By Season Six, Leo has become Charmed's go-to Hand Waver, explaining away plot inconsistencies in six words or less. In Season 7, the sisters go off-screen and inexplicably return with Prue's old ability to astral project (from the days when each Charmed One possessed a single unique power), which Prue guarded so jealously, she never taught it to anyone while she was alive... except for Leo, of course.
She mentions how the man on the cover of Vampire Assassin is not in the movie, nor is the scene depicted on the cover of 13 seconds.
She says that the cover of Teen Sorcery, instead of making you think the movie will be better than it is, makes it look terrible in a different way.
She also notes that the vampire-y looking fellow on the cover of Blood Red Moon is nowhere in the film.
Credits Gag: Following his five-year absence, Neighbor Dan's name appears in an evidence room dedicated to "disappeared" victims of the Halliwells. Presuming this means Dan was not merely Put on a Bus, but butchered and buried somewhere off-screen, the same fate awaits each of the sisters' one-off boyfriends. Lupa declares that nothing can top this plot twist, and immediately rolls credits. (Charmed S.7)
In her review of Howling VII she refers to two characters as Inspector Detective and Father Priest.
"That's the official name by the way. 'Ass Blasters™.' They're called 'Ass Blasters™.' Officially."
Designated Hero: In-Universe In Magic Island, she notes that the "buccaneer" heroes basically have the same goal as the "pirate" villains; the only difference seems to be if they want the treasure to spend or just for the adventure of getting it.
The Charmed ones, to the point of believing they are actually the ultimate evil of the show.
Determinator: Crowfoot, the Kate Hodge TV pilot so awful, it was buried at the ends of the Earth. They didn't bury it deep enough.
Lupa: I am nothing if not sad, creepy, and determined.
Deus ex Machina: Stated as being the preferred method of fixing problems on Charmed, and directly calls Leo the show's favorite Deus Ex Machina. Even has a catchphrase for it: "Makes it easy!"
Dissimile: "[The Black Ninja] is like Daredevil, only he's not blind and doesn't have superpowers."
Dissonant Laughter: She did chuckle at the elderly, wheelchair-bound man getting electrocuted in Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.. So the film wasn't a total loss.
After the hero of Gymkata accidentally kicks a random pedestrian in the face while swinging from a bar, she giggles and says "I have no words."
"Grams" Halliwell being eaten alive by a wolf. (Charmed S.5)
"I feel like I've seen the meeting of two titans."
Dude Magnet: At the very least, she has Todd in the Shadows and Nash's little animated stickman pining after her. Lampshaded in her cameos in the Linkara/Phelous crossover review of The AirZone Solution?, after one tries to get her to recreate a bedroom scene.
The opening for Linkara's Rise of Arsenal #3&4 review adds another notch.
Welshy: Oh my god! She got another one. Film Brain now is in love with Obscurus Lupa.
Her crossover review of Simon Sez with The Critic added 90's Kid
90's Kid: Hey can I do the crossover with you guys? Nostalgia Critic: No! 90's Kid: But I wrote a script. Here i'll read it to you: 90's Kid and Lupa make out. No wait, that's my fanfiction. Oh here it is! 90's Kid and Lupa make out!
The Blockbuster Buster's Nerdlinger faints everytime a poster of Lupa pops up. Even ERod uses this to make Nerdlinger stop interrupting.
ERod: I wonder why only nerdy goobers are attracted to this girl.
Dude, Not Funny!: Her in-universe reaction to Johnny laughing at Mark's story in The Room about a woman ending up in a hospital.
Dyeing for Your Art: Lupa is a natural blonde, but has had red hair for the majority of her series. When she released her commentary for Undefeatable, her first video review, she explained that she has been changing her hair color regularly for most of her life, and that her first few videos (Including Undefeatable) caught her at a rare moment when she had returned to her natural color.
Currently, her favorites are Stephanie Beaton as Lutz (yes, Lutz was gender-flipped at one point) and Mikul Robins aka the "third regeneration" (and definitive) Garner.
Baywatch's Trevor. You know, it's just possible that he might be from Australia.
She is inordinately fond of Baywatch's other bit players, like real-life heroes "Newmie" Newman and "Shippy McBoatington" (actually Greg Barnett, legendary stuntman with a mile-long IMBD page).
Everyone Is Related: Fresh off the revaluation that the Police Chief is the father of Undefeatable's male leads (at least according to Godfrey Ho's Chinese dub), Ed Glaser pops up to reveal that he's Lupa's long-lost brother.
Lupa reckons meeting The Charmed Ones is akin to this.
Fauxshadow: Points out in The Howling reboot once lines have been revealed as fauxshadowing, there needs to be another reason why the characters would have said them.
Fight Scene Failure:invoked Another issue she has with Razor Sharpe, particularly as it was made to show off the star's fighting abilities. It gets to the point where Lupa declares she can choreograph a better fight scene, we then cut to her and her friends fighting with toy guns set to Ghost Love Score.
During the poorly staged fights in Blood Red Moon she takes to singing "fail" to the tune of eine kleine nachtmusik.
She was accidentally punched in the face by Brad, The Cinema Snob , he meant to fake it but the hit connected.
Film Felons: She was thoroughly unimpressed by the application of this trope in Razor Sharpe, pointing out that Sharpe should really have been more suspicious of the fact that the "film" he was in lacked a script, rehearsals and really almost everything you need to make a film.
Funny Background Event: Ash and Checkers love to interrupt shooting. Lampshaded in the stinger for Rapid Fire.
"Oooh mah naym's Ash! I luv ruinin all teh takez! Imma be in moviez an have mah own trailuh!"
When the Little Miss Gamer lookalike bites the dust, Lupa's cat appears to salute as well. (Blood Red Moon)
Gag Censor: Lupa obeys the letter of the law, if not the spirit. When Scott Shaw objected to her reviews of his films, she posted them again... only this time, with crude MSPaint renderings of Shaw's footage, vocal imitations of the sound effects, and an impromptu rap at the end.
Good Times Montage: Lupa shares some girl bonding time with Cythia Rothrock — sort of. Actually, she spends the montage chatting and prancing around with a bunch of Rothrock DVDs. (A Seagal film somehow slips into the pile, but Lupa throws it aside.)
"A Man For All Seasons" plays out Witchcraft 4, as Charles Soloman Junior takes his final bow. In many ways, he was too good for the Witchcraft series... which is horrifying to contemplate.
Lupa: Fireman Greg only wishes he could be Neighbor Dan. But only ONE man could master such levels of superfluousness!
Hypocritical Humour: She pokes fun of Zombie Nation for using headshots of its actresses during a news segment. Immediately afterwards, her own headshot appears on-screen.
It turns out her review of 13 seconds is.... All Just a Dream.
Radu's terrified description of "that long-haired goon", Tommy Wiseau.
"I wouldn't want to run into someone like that in a dark alley, let me tell you."
Laughing at Kate Hodge getting jilted over the phone and swigging wine. "What a loser!" Lupa proceeds to swig wine and frown at her phone while "The Lonely Man" plays.
Played again in the Baywatch ep "The Sky is Falling." Just being around Mitch & Craig drives Garner to suicidal depression.
A frustrated Oan asks why she has Buffy the Vampire Slayer memorized down to the last detail. Lupa scoffs that saw "a bit" of it. This of course triggers a flashback cut to 90s!Lupa gorging on chips and sobbing.
She does a list of "The Top 10 Hottest Animated Dogs", but acts sickened at people who find the mice from The Great Mouse Detective to be attractive.
"Eww! You actually thought that? No, it's the fucking dog you weirdo. I can't even ... I'm scared to continue with this list now; I feel like a bunch of perverts are watching."
Radu scoffs at Super Christian for still living with his mother, only to be shouted at by his own "mommy" (also the show's producer).
I Know Karate: The number of people in Undefeatable that turn out to know martial arts leads Lupa to declare she would not be surprised if it turned out a kid in a grocery store scene turned out to know karate too.
Played straight in Witchery much to her annoyance.
Averted in Angel of Fury but done in such a narmtastic way she giggles nonstop.
Inferred Holocaustinvoked: Vampegeddon has its heroine, Liz, get possessed by the ghost of the (male) vampire hunter Longshank. At the end of the film, she's still being possessed, and it's implied it's a permanent effect.
Invoked in the Charmed reviews about Piper's casual removal of the Golden Gate Bridge with people still on it. Later this extends to pretty much everything Wyatt does, since the Cleaners who's job it is to enforce the masquerade can't bring people back to life, meaning a lot of people died when Wyatt summoned the Dragon that lay waste to San Francisco.
The kitty in Sesame Street Christmas has no home; he "belongs to the garbage cans and alleys of the world", which is where Lupa reckons this movie belongs.
invoked In Charmed S.6, Phobe poses a question which has "baffled women since of beginning time": Why are men such poopyheads?
Lupa: Hey Phoebe, maybe you can help me understand something that's baffled women since the beginning of time: Why do they continue to be represented by shows that think a woman shouldn't even tell a dude she's breaking up with him before jumping on the date wagon? Why do they set up a double standard that makes all of us look stupid?
Lupa: You call this a Dr. Pepper? It's completely flat! Jeremiah:(sticks straw in soda, blows into it)
Just a Stupid Accent: Shark Attack 3 is set Mexico "where everyone speaks English, but with a slight accent".
Jump Cut: A frequent peeve. She does this herself in her review of Undefeatable
Kaleidoscope Hair: The commentary for Undefeatable explained that she had been changing her hair color regularly for most of her life, and that her first few videos (including Undefeatable) caught her at a rare moment when she had returned to her natural color.
Madness Makeover: Lupa desperately keeps trying to spice up American Ninja 4's fights, to little effect. Eventually, she starts grinning madly, repeating "I can still save it!" while her hair becomes unkempt.
Lupa's name is an aversion, as she explained that her name does not mean she only does obscure movies, it is Latin for "Dark She-Wolf" (Explanation here. Basically, her name should've been obscura lupa). It is rather unfortunate, though, that lupa was also Latin slang for "prostitute".
She sarcastically goes "subtle movie" during her Teen Sorcery review when we find out the love interest's surname is Charming.
Crowfoot deserves an award for Half-Baked Ideas and Personifying the Nineties.
Meganekko: Lupa sports glasses in her Hell Comes to Frogtown video. Muy bien.
Memetic Sex Goddess: There's an In-Universe running gag in TGWTG videos that everyone's in love with her. It started with Todd in the Shadows (who's developed into quite the Stalker with a Crush now) and gradually broadened to encompass other TGWTG guys.
Welshy: Oh my god! She got another one. Film Brain now is in love with Obscurus Lupa.
90s Kid even has both a fanfic and a script where he and Lupa make out.
Memetic Molester: Invoked about Leo from Charmed, pointing out that over the course of the series he's revealed to have been watching Piper since she was a child, regularly watches Paige having sex and even screwed their grandmother back in the 60's.
In another non-romantic moment, Lupa and The Nostalgia Chick are friendly after watching Hope And Glory together, until Todd appears and Lupa's stinging rejection of him causes the Chick to attack her.
In keeping with the site-wide Running Gag, she tends to play "Ghost Love Score" whenever she deems it necessary, such as a fight scene in Vampire Assassin where a secondary character who never even gets a name punches out a vampire while dragging the unconscious protagonist with the other hand.
Over the course of the Charmed reviews, she took to referring to Phoebe as "The Great Phoebe One." The girls' beefcake boyfriends are less fortunate, being re-branded as "Neighbor Dan", "Fireman Greg", and "Nick Lackey."
Nightmare Fuel: Lupa and Iron Liz's in-universe reaction to the "children's" movie Gooby.
No Ending: The story that Lupa reads in Allison Reads Her Barbie Fanfic. Fortunately, she finds another story to share as compensation.
Non-Actor Vehicle: Gymkata is such a film which prompts Lupa to state, "Just because you're an athlete doesn't mean you're an actor."
She's reviewed a slew of these, including City Dragon, Razor Sharpe and Vampire Assassin. Cynthia Rothrock started out this way too, but has at least made a career out of it.
Noodle Incident: Her explanation for taking a sabbatical between Witchcraft reviews. "So it turns out I became a lumberjack."
Not Brainwashed: At the end of Evil Dead 2, the rest of Channel Awesome become Deadites to heckle Lupa's directorial style. Except for the Snob — he's not possessed, he's just an ass.
Lady Dragon 2's final fight montage. Partly used to commemorate Rothrock's and Norton's last hurrah, but mostly to rejoice in the Plucky Comic Relief getting beat up.
The Leo Wyatt abuse reel. (Charmed S.5)
Off-the-Shelf FX: Much to Lupa's disbelief, a GameCube is used as a prop in a science lab in X-treme Fighter. Even worse, the virtual reality helmet is a bicycle helmet with Christmas lights on it. This prompts her to apologize to Stakes for making fun of their CGI.
Plays again when Ed Glaser reveals he's Lupa's brother.
Only One Name: Remarks that Dakota from China O Brien has only one name- like Cher or Madonna.
OOC Is Serious Business: Lupa loves bad movies and she usually has something positive to say about them. If Lupa is angered or crying because of a movie's badness (e.g: Pocket Ninjas, Monster High), it's usually a good sign of how awful the film is.
"A Reverend, wearing an eyepatch, trying to mow down a boy on a rocket-powered wheelchair."
"I'd never thought I'd ever say this, but the climax of the film involves Holmes in a hot air balloon fighting Iron Man in a giant robot dragon while Watson rides on horseback to stop an android from blowing up Buckingham Palace."
"A main character on this show is a magical handyman." "They put the disease into a ninja action figure that comes to life and stabs it into people." "This plot was solved by French Stewart as a genie."note "I can't but feel this speaks volumes about the quality of the program." "Phoebe has a crush on a 1950s movie star, and one time, these monkeys get their powers." "Woe to the man whose destiny is to become a magical ice cream truck driver." "So, now Cole and Phoebe rule the underworld from their apartment." "The bonding process can begin: And by that I mean they go back in time and fight a T-Rex." "Chris is turning into Spider-Man as this goes on, and Piper turns him back by drinking the antidote and affecting him in the womb." "In this show's canon, Wyatt Halliwell is the King of England." "They shoot the gnome to death." "How is it not news that the world's most famous advice columnist suddenly went crazy and rode naked on a horse?" "Because there were two blue moons that year, the girls have become PMS werewolves.
Rooting for the Empireinvoked: Lupa finds herself siding with the mutant frogs in the Frogtown series, if only because they know good music.
The "Lonely Man" theme plays when her beloved "Vampire Hulk" gets staked. (Vampires Assassin)
She was actually pulling for Radu for all four films; even as he became less and less violent, and more like an Anne Rice character.
Radu automatically does this with every film he reviews.
Gimli coming at Golddigger with a garden hose. (Robot in the Family)
"Yes, YES, kill it!! John Rhys-Davies, you're my hero!"
Radu interprets Tommy Wiseau as the true demon in The House That Drips Blood on Alex.
The only person on Sesame Street she can even tolerate is Oscar, who really speaks to her.
In her Charmed reviews, she considers the Charmed Ones (particularly Phoebe) to be Designated Heroes. It gets to the point where, in Season 4, she says, "It makes you root for the Source of All Evil because he seems nice in comparison." In season 6, during the high school reunion episode, the Alpha Bitch calls Phoebe a selfish whore to her face in as catty a manner as possible, and Lupa can't actually argue against it.
Rouge Angles of Satin: The DVD packaging of Blood Red Moon advertises "behind the sceens" extras. Oh boy!
"Club Annocer" in the end credits of Witchcraft 4. Sounds French.
Charles Solomon Junior's "Hulk Yell." The original clip had CSJ keeping his pimp-hand strong by backhanding his mother. Later editions have William hitting whatever is tormenting him at the moment, including a nightclub sign.
As noted, the *extreme zoom-in* with a blaring music sting is used specifically for banal plot 'twists'; two in succession in her Sherlock Holmes crossover with The Snob prompted him to lampshade appropriately:
Snob: What the fuck was THAT?!
Reinterpreting The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens as Harry Potter in Canada.
"Hogwarts has nothing on Random Canadian Elementary."
She takes great delight in reminding us that, by the film's calculations, the majority of the Witchcraft series is set in THE FUTURE. This makes the wildly anachronistic clothes and cars hilarious.
Sexophone: Pointed out in her Hard To Kill review: "CUE SEXY SAXOPHONE MUSIC". Later it is played again, and Lupa questions why it is being used there - when the main character is being told that a nurse has been killed.
Slasher Smile: Lupa's hilariously creepy rictus when the Chick demands to know how she got into her apartment.
Chick: Have you been there all night...and day?? It's like 5pm.
From her joint review of The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes with the Cinema Snob:
Snob: Uhhggh, this is gonna be one of those kinda movies, isn't it. Lupa: *Grins insanely at him*
Slut Shaming: Lupa's constant calling Phoebe a whore makes her realize she needs to make a clarification: she does not have a problem with people being sexually liberated, but Phoebe uses her boyfriends, cheats on them, is dishonest with them, otherwise treats them like garbage, and is a terrible human being in general. She is not shaming sexually liberated people, she's just targeting this one particular slut.
Stop Being Stereotypical: Her biggest criticism of Charmed, aside from the camp, was its tongue-in-cheek misandry which Lupa thinks skirted close to media stereotypes of how "feminists" think. Not to mention own-goaling their cause by stealing all of Paige's duties and handing them over to Leo, or depicting Phoebe as a disillusioned career woman, or Piper as a shrewish housewife, or...
Grams: Men are like utensils! You use them, wash them, and throw them in a drawer until you need them!
Stunned Silence: Lupa does not bode well during Pocket Ninjas and Robot in the Family.
Though her face speaks volumes. Specifically, "wuh duh fuh?"
"...I am five minutes closer to death now."
Transvestite Leatherface. (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation)
Rudolf the Reindeer being put down by a cowboy's bullet. (Two Front Teeth)
Paula: You know, you can fool San Francisco with your pithy advice, but you can't fool us. The only thing you were ever known for was lying and ditching and stealing boyfriends. To the rest of the world you might be Ask Phoebe, but to us, you'll always be Freebie. Lupa: (Why am I agreeing with the bitch character?)
Something similar happens when Barbus, the proclaimed "worst enemy" of the Charmed Ones, gives a courtroom summation echoing everything Lupa has been saying for the past twenty videos, ad naeseum.
The Amazing Bulk is filmed entirely in front of a bad green screen, in parody of the actual film.
In Pterodactyl, Lupa replaces the previous episode's song with a "crappy montage" set to I'll Tumble 4 Ya.
Her Lady Dragon 2 review climaxes with a stylistically sucky montage of her goofing around with her Cynthia Rothrock movie collection set to Wake me up before you go go
She finishes her Teen Sorcery review with some bad dancing set to the song played at the big dance at the end of the film.
Roller Samurai Vampire Slayers, a parody of the so-called "Zen filmmaking" style (essentially Throw It In: The Movie).
Suckiness Is Painful: During the American Ninja reviews, Lupa makes a running gag of dubbing bad music over the fight scenes. American Ninja 4 however is so bad that the last fight scene is accompanied by, rather than music, Lupa sobbing.
Robot in the Family feels like death. Consider for a moment that Lupa loves bad movies, and that that this is one of the few that really hurt her to watch.
invoked Apropos "The Seven Year Witch" (Charmed S.7), Lupa tells her viewers to simmer down and excuses herself for one moment. Cue sounds of screams and projectile vomiting from the adjacent room.
Suspiciously Specific Denial: "So, like, I'm totally not doing anything illegal, 'specially if I found a puppy one time, and maybe things got out of hand, and I had this whole lawsuit going on, but, I mean, nothing really happened, and I paid for the cab, so like, what's the problem?"
In Tremors 3, she assures the viewer that, although Jack's hick accent sounds broad and fake, it's actually real. "He's like the Film Brain of Texans."
A Closeup on Head of Lupa (now driven mad by Witchcraft sequels) donning a leather jacket and calling herself "Dark Lupa". This is revealed to a fake-out, or more accurately, and excuse to show off her new hair color. (Witchcraft 8)
Lupa does one in preparation for her Lady Dragon 2 review, set to the music from the first Lady Dragon. We see her exercise her thumb via a DVD remote, box a guy with a sign reading "RICHARD NORTON" taped to his chest, and bench-press her cat.
Troperiffic: Being a show about critical deconstruction of B-movies, this is pretty much unavoidable.
She later observes that "Gymkata" is like regular karate with more unnecessary flips and wooshing sounds.
She calls out Fatal Deviation for having one. In this case, the Jimmy rolls across a car and back for no reason whatsoever in the middle of a fight.
The Untwist: Lupa really hates how Howling IV attempts to present the story as a mystery, despite the fact that this is the fourth movie in the series and the audience is well aware this is a werewolf movie.
Unwanted Harem: She is not remotely happy about being a Dude Magnet. Justified since Todd tends to get creepy or awkward fast, as do almost every other guy who goes after her, her dynamic with the Critic is the usual fem!dommy sexual tension he has with every woman, and she's in a committed relationship.
"My question is, why did John and Elizabeth need Grace [to have John's baby]? I mean, let's not pretend the mother-and-son thing would bother them. They're evil and stuff, why not cut out the middle man?"
Visible Boom Mic: Has a counter on the screen every time the boom mic appears in shot in Razor Sharpe.
Walking Wasteland: A few references to Piper's cavernous, dried-up vagina, leading Lupa to wonder how she is even able conceive children. When a waiter asks Piper to quit breast-feeding in his restaurant, Lupa plays devil's advocate by explaining that Piper excretes poison, thus violating FDA regulations. (Charmed S.7)
When She Smiles: You occasionally get a moment where Lupa is down in the dumps, having written off the movie as totally bad... and then something magical happens, something you'll never find in a mainstream films, and she's reminded of why she loves Z-movies. And we're reminded of why we love her. QED.
Wire Fu: After a lackluster example in Xtreme Fighter she comments "just because you have wirework available doesn't mean you should use it."
See the page topper quote. For context, the scene revolves around two mages fighting over a 'levitating' magic staff, which the hero repeatedly bends down to pick up. To use as a blunt instrument.
"Worst. Fight. Everrr."
In the third season of Charmed, the sisters' dead relatives are brought back as exposition-spouting ghosts who can be summoned at will. The anticlimatic nature of this plot convenience, played to the hilt in Grandma's case, isn't helped by Victor's nonplussed, Munsters-style delivery of, "A'ight, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?" Lupa remarks that this is the worst line of TV dialogue she's ever heard.
X Meets Y: The masks worn by the villains of Lady Dragon 2, a cross between Doctor Doom and Jason Voorhees.