Characters / Goblins

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Goblin Adventuring Party

The Goblin Adventuring Party are the main characters of our story. After their warcamp is destroyed by a human adventuring party, five goblins set off on an adventure to gain class levels and become strong so that they can better defend their clan.

    Big Ears 

Big Ears

"Never tell me to silence my heart again."

Alignment: Lawful Good

A member of the Goblin Adventuring Party. After witnessing his best friend One Eye's death, he chose to be a paladin because he was tired of watching others die.
  • Allergic to Evil: Using his Detect Evil on a band of extremely evil enemies causes him to go into a coughing fit. Earlier, being exposed to the evil radiated by the Axe of Prissan had caused him to suffer a splitting headache complete with a Psychic Nosebleed.
  • An Axe to Grind: Starts out with a small handaxe, and later claims an uber-powerful greataxe that gives him Instant Armor and Glowing Eyes of Doom.
  • Badass Boast: Combined with Ironic Echo. The line below, the "flea demon" said the same to Complains just moments before.
    Big Ears: He [a demonic deity] WILL scream my name. In this way, he will speak to me. [Beat] But I will not answer him.
  • Badass Creed:
    Big Ears: (when asked how to tell apart Good and Evil-claiming-to-be-Good) The good will be quick to help others in need. They do this without hesitation, without first requiring proof that the need is genuine. But before they condemn the accused, before they bring harm to others, no matter how justified it may seem, they hesitate. They demand proof. Evil will often believe they're fighting for good, but when others are in need, they'll become reluctant, withholding compassion until they see proof of that need.
    And yet, Evil is quick to condemn, vilify and attack others. For Evil, proof isn't needed to bring harm. Only hatred, and a mantra that they fight for peace and righteousness.
  • Badass Gay: Like all the members of the GAP, he's a true Badass; his orientation was a matter of Word of Gay for years before an enchantment broadcast what he finds physically attractive.
  • Battle Aura: Big Ears's Individual Magical Effect is a yellow decagonal ring.
  • Can't Get Away with Nuthin': Commits a single "evil" act by attacking a fellow Paladin from behind (despite this Paladin having tortured and killed the Chief) using a weapon normally incapable of harming fellow Paladins by taking advantage of its incorporeality. This causes his Sealed Evil in a Can weapon to shatter, and potentially doom the entire realm by bringing about a demonic apocalypse. He explains the reason he got penalized and not the other Paladin was because he knew he was committing an evil act, whereas the other Paladin honestly thought he was in the right (even if said Paladin normally performs heinous acts on a regular basis). After a demon says too much, he realizes that it wasn't really his fault, the axe was deliberately flawed and was always going to break because it was actually created to help The Sacred.
  • The Big Guy: While not noticeably taller than the others, he's burlier.
  • Good Is Dumb: Averted. Big Ears is very intelligent, and good at getting himself and others out of bad situations.
  • Honor Before Reason: He can fall victim to this, but can—usually—be reasoned out of it (which bites him in the ass spectacularly when being talked into attacking a paladin from behind causes him a major penalty).
  • Lawful Good: invoked A rare modern example of a truly kind, courageous and noble paladin.
    Chief: Why would anyone want to become a paladin?!
    Big Ears: So others don't have to.
  • The Paladin: But of course.
  • Precision F-Strike: Shit.
  • Sealed Evil in a Can: Big Ears's second axe is a major artifact that contains a powerful demon.
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!: A flea demon tries to Hannibal Lecture him into surrendering his soul, only for it to backfire as Big Ears realizes that the demon's words are, indeed, the reason why he DIDN'T fail as a paladin. See Badass Boast above for the results.
  • Took a Level in Badass: After he gets his second axe. It also comes with a magic armor.
    Complains: Paladins get the best stuff at third level!

    Chief 

Chief

"My name is Chief, member of the Goblin Adventuring Party and leader of the Clan of the Cryptic Fall. And I'm not here to beg for my life— I'm here to kill you."

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

The goblin tribe's leader, and unwilling member of the Goblin Adventuring Party. He chose to be a cleric because he wanted to have the least glamorous and "adventurer-like" job.
  • Battle Aura: Chief's Individual Magical Effect is a stylized blue crown and mantle.
  • Eye Scream: Done by himself, no less, in the first arc.
  • Failure Knight: He tries to be the responsible, decent leader that his party needs, but ultimately, he never manages to really help them.
  • The Heart: His compassion and devotion to the team helps keep them on track and working together.
  • Javelin Thrower: He finds a magic javelin that splits into multiple projectiles when thrown, then teleports back into his hand once it reaches its target. It's been his weapon of choice ever since.
  • The Medic: Being a Cleric, he has access to healing magic.
  • Only Sane Man: As he's the chief, he's used to thinking things through clearly and logically, which makes him the most practical-minded and level-headed on average member of the party.
  • Sacrificial Lion: Gets gruesomely killed off by Kore. We also find out he was never really supposed to be Chief anyway, it was just forced upon him for political reasons.
  • Senseless Sacrifice: He faces Kore alone, knowing well that he will probably die, to buy the others time to run away. Ultimately, he fails, because Kore realizes this and starts torturing him to make him scream and have the others turn back, which they do.

    Complains of Names 

Complains of Names

"I'm your worst nightmare... A goblin with a readied action AND an elevation bonus."

Alignment: Chaotic Good

One of the members of the Goblin Adventuring Party, he fought Minmax in the latter's attack to the village and swore to find and kill him. His class is Barbarian, since it benefits from his bad temper.

    Thaco 

Thaco

"You know, in the old days we depended on ingenuity rather than feats, the strength stat used a forward slash as a decimal point... and there were no such thing as Drow. I miss the old days."

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Thaco is the oldest goblin in the Goblin Adventuring Party, which is why he's named after an outdated Dungeons & Dragons defense mechanic. He's also Complains's father. Thaco already had a lot of combat experience at the start of the story, and when the others chose character classes, he became a monk because he had once been prisoner of Dellyn Goblinslayer and never wanted to be bound again (monks can escape bindings).
  • Arrow Catch: As a monk in a universe which follows D&D rules, he has the Deflect Arrows feat.
  • Badass Normal: Even before taking a class level in Monk he was able to hold his own again an (albeit low-level) adventurer.
  • Badass Grandpa: He's the oldest member of the Party, being Complains' father.
  • The Chosen One: Subverted. He was actually the one destined to be the clan chief but he willingly gave up the position in favor of Chief (the previous chief's son) in order to avoid dividing the clan between people who supported him and people who thought the clan chief's title should be passed to his son.
  • Cool Old Guy: He's the oldest member of the goblin party (his name is actually a reference to 2e, and he apparently lived long enough to see the edition change), but he's still one of the best fighters and the most level-headed leaders they have.
  • Dual Wielding: Two curved blades.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: Thaco has the good guy vertical scar across the eye.
  • Guile Hero: He's quite capable of kicking ass physically, but his brain is definitely one of his edges.
  • Old Master: Old enough that he shouldn't really be a fighter, but still one of the front-line combatants. He's a D&D monk, too, which makes him fit the "martial artist" part of the iconic archetype.
  • Revenge: Defied. When they infiltrate the city to rescue Fumbles, Thaco meets up with Dellyn Goblinslayer again, the man who captured and repeatedly tortured him, cutting off his ear before he managed to escape. In their climactic duel Thaco defeats Dellyn and cuts off his ear as even payment. Dellyn taunts Thaco, claiming that he's Not So Different and triumphantly proclaims that by killing him Thaco will just make him a legend, feared archenemy of the great Thaco. Thaco responds by leaving him alive, proclaiming Dellyn to be just "some human that he fought in the early levels of his adventuring career", then chucks his ear in the sewer and walks off. The no-named loser's anguished cry is awesome.
  • Shell-Shocked Veteran: He started out as one.
  • Sword Cane: His cane doubles as a pair of swords, or possibly vice-versa.
  • Trigger: "Bleed for me, Thaco..."
  • Too Many Belts: He wears a lot of belts and not much else.
  • Weak, but Skilled: Despite the facts that he's much older than the other goblins, who have a hard time taking anything out of their weight class, Thaco usually lasts the longest against the current opponent simply through skill.

    Fumbles 

Fumbles/Senor Vorpal Kickass'O

Alignment: Neutral Good

Fumbles is the fifth member of the Goblin Adventuring Party. It was originally his idea to take class levels, and the rest of the party decided to follow suit after the warcamp fell.
  • Asexuality: Nothing showed up for him on the enchanted pillar that shows who/what you lust for.
  • Broken Bird: After being brutally tortured by Goblinslayer he literally loses his mind and can't even talk or think on his own. He's getting better thanks to Minmax, out of all possible people.
  • Comically Missing the Point: When he sees the "Door" Golem's IME marker change indicating that Kore has found his way into the dungeon, his response is to point out that Kore is talking to himself.
  • Critical Failure: Happens frequently and spectacularly.
  • Heroic B.S.O.D.: After being tortured by Goblinslayer.
    • He finally comes out of it with Minmax's help.
  • Hidden Depths: He's the one who comes up with a workable plan to reach the goblin god Magubilet, to help deal with the Axe of Prissan issue, and he does so while simultaneously playing with Minmax. The rest of the Goblin party is stunned, especially Thaco, who wonders aloud why they're not doing as Fumbles suggests.
  • Leeroy Jenkins: While running away from Kore, the rest of the party argues whether to turn back to save Chief or not, when Fumbles just runs straight back, with the BattleCry shown above.
  • Mary Sue: invoked He writes his alter-ego of Senor Vorpal Kickasso as one, complete with an over-the-top conflicting backstory. The other goblins don't hesitate to call him out on it.
  • Master of None: Trying to master 11 D&D classes at once meant he has 1/11th of a level in each of them. He can hide 1/11th of his body in shadows (useful if the enemy is only looking for his ankle), or cast 1/11th of a sleep spell. He has since upgraded to 2/11s.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: When one of his epic fumbles accidentally injures a little human girl. His attempt to make ammends, by returning the girl's toy, ends up going horribly, horribly wrong.
  • Odd Friendship: After Minmax and the goblins are trapped together by Kore, he starts up a friendship with the human. It helps that Minmax made the first move by fixing up Fumbles' fake mustache so that it looked more realistic. That the friendship even developed could be considered odd in itself given that Fumbles is recovering from the capture and following extensive torture and mind rape from humans like Delyn.
  • Plucky Comic Relief: At least until he's tortured by Goblinslayer. But even then, he's still a hero in his own mind.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: It ends poorly.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: Part of what helps him and Minmax to bond is that they really do have pretty similar lines of bizarro thought. It gets to the point that a disbelieving Complains sighs that the party now has to put up with two of them.
  • The Fool: Starts out as the classical happy-go-lucky goofball, which leads to him making stupid decisions like the aforementioned "be all 11 D&D classes at once" (which isn't even possible by the rules, as there's a number of alignment clashes). He even suggested the warband become adventurers themselves, in a perfect example of "the Fool says something that is actually quite clever" part of the trope. Deconstructed in that leads him to make a fatally stupid mistake, resulting in him being tortured into catatonia.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Subverted. "Which class did you choose?" "All of them." It's less useful than it sounds.
  • Unfortunate Names: Yeah, he lives up "Fumbles," and no one really takes him seriously.

Well of Darkness

Soon after the massacre of the warcamp, Dies Horribly is captured and enslaved by the goblin Viper Clan. Their leader, Duv, sends Dies and a few other slaves on a quest into the Well of Darkness to retrieve an artifact to ensure her prophesied rise to power.

    Dies Horribly 

Dies Horribly

Dies Horribly is a timid, fearful goblin who is separated from the Goblin Adventuring Party during the attack on the warcamp.
  • Artificial Limbs: He loses his left arm during the attack on the goblin warcamp by the Drow, but Klik makes him an artificial arm in its place. He cuts the artificial one off when it develops an evil personality and considers hurting Saves-A-Fox, but Fox uses the Orb of Bloodlight to make him another new one.
  • Back from the Dead: After fulfilling his fate, he spent just over a page actually dead
  • Because Destiny Says So: A firm believer of this.
  • Blessed with Suck: Dies loses his left arm arm, but Klik makes him a living metal replacement. He doesn't like it because it's hard to control.
    • Deepened in the later chapters, as now Dies' metal hand can now control him to an extent. And it calls him "Father."
  • Catch Phrase: "For the love of the Gods watch where you're pointing that X!"
  • Cowardly Lion: Despite his outward cowardice, when it comes down to the crunch Dies proves repeatedly at he is capable of overcoming his (perfectly understandable) fear of a hideous death. When fate finally comes for him, he accepts it without thinking. He should have thought... or at least that's how it looks at first.
  • Empathic Weapon: Dies' left arm has shapeshifting abilities that respond to his emotions, but since fear is his most common emotion, it mostly just makes spikes.
  • Evil Hand: The artificial limb that Klik makes him eventually turns into this.
  • The Fatalist: Accepts that his death is inevitable and that there is no fighting it. Too bad it looks to be a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.
  • The Fool: Altough his name says the opposite, the universe seems to conspire for his survival.
    • Alternatively, his name implies he's horrible at dying.
    • He did die. Horribly. But he got better.
  • Honor Before Reason: Duv offers to make him her right-hand goblin and chief of his clan, telling him that history could remember him as a great goblin chieftain; he tells her that he'd rather be remembered as the goblin who turned her down.
  • Mr. Seahorse: Depending on your definition of "pregnant." His hand develops a soul of it's own, relied on his survival and blood before being cut off, and refers to him as "father."
  • Nervous Wreck: He's always on edge. This is justified because most Goblins in his clan are named prophetically.
  • Only Sane Man: Seems to be this for the Well of Darkness party.
  • Puppet King: What he will be to Duv if she has her way.
  • Senseless Sacrifice: Subversion! While it looked like he was going to sell his soul for the artifact he needed but Exact Words ended up meaning he sold it for a worthless bauble, thanks to Loophole Abuse, he inadvertently got out of the deal and was resurrected.
  • Superpowered Evil Side: The badassery he shows in the Well of Darkness has shades of this, his arm more or less controlling his actions while he kills the demons. He doesn't remember his actions after he snaps out of it, and the alternate personality also seems to be very possessive of its "father" (whether that's Klik or Dies himself hasn't been revealed).
  • Took a Level in Badass: After fulfilling (what he believed was) his fate, Dies Horribly finally had enough of everything making his life (and even death) miserable and took several levels of Bad Ass. On the spot. Subverted. It turns out this was Evil Klik's personality taking over.
  • Unexpected Successor: Duv uses a ceremony to establish people she hopes will be her cronies from the different clans as their new chief. If the clan already has a chief, the ceremony is void, but since Dies Horribly's chief just died recently...
  • Unfortunate Names: Lampshaded numerous times by people aware of the fact that it's a prophetic name. The name alone has basically ruined his entire life.
  • Weapon Wields You: His artificial arm eventually develops a personality of its own, and will sometimes take control of his body to fight on his behalf.

    Grem 

Grem

"I swear, on a good day, that goblin could battle the Gods themselves."

Grem is Duv's son, and future chief of the Viper Clan. He joins the party in the Well of Darkness against his mother's wishes.
  • Badass Normal: Has no adventurer levels, or magic equipment, or much of anything except sheer skill and tenacity. It suffices.
  • Fearless Fool:
    Grem: I am a goblin prince! I know when to fight!
    Dies Horribly: I am a coward. I know when to run!
  • Heroes Want Redheads: Grem has a crush on Saves-a-Fox
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's spoiled and arrogant and a bit of a dick, but he genuinely does have the best wishes of his people at heart and he can be quite brave.
  • Royals Who Actually Do Something: He's a Warrior Prince who actually defies his mother's wishes and joins the group in the Well of Darkness of his own volition.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: He is clearly meant to be the strong, confident goblin male, who is in direct contrast to the weaker, cowardly (and after they enter the well, usually more clothed) Dies Horribly. This eventually comes to an end when Grem gets more equipment from the Well of Darkness, including a shirt.

    K'Seliss 

K'Seliss

"You are one messed up piece of food."

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Some sort of magical ogre/lizardfolk hybrid, who treats everyone else as chatty food. Fox is the only one with any control over him.
  • Awesomeness by Analysis: Of all people. His way of deling with a magical guardian meant to kill the whole group after answering a fixed number of questions is to guess what he should do to One-Hit Kill said guardian and using the questions to verify his analysis. The face of said guardian as he realizes it is priceless.
  • Because Destiny Says So: Fated to die inside the Well of Darkness' dungeon crawl. At least he took his killer with him.
  • Big Guy: Being part ogre (Large) and part lizardfolk (Medium), he towers over his goblin (Small) companions.
  • Creepy Good: He manages to creep out the goblins with his particularly brutal fighting style.
  • Cutting the Knot: His solution to every problem he comes across, ranging from locked doors to magical guardians that want to kill him, is violence.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: From his point of view. To lizardfolk in this 'verse, fighting, eating, and mating are aspects of the same thing, so he's horrified to find himself forced into fighting things which he can't eat.
  • Extreme Omnivore: If it's made of meat, he'll try to eat it. Even clearly decaying, or even undead, meat.
  • Grievous Harm with a Body: He gets around his 'don't fight what you can't eat' taboo by using one Mecha-Mook as a club to beat the stuffing out of the rest of them. After all, the Mecha-Mook was doing the actual *hitting*.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Sort of. He goes to run and leave the others to their fate when they futilely try to blockade a door holding back a monster, and had made clear up to that point that he considers the rest of the party to be expendable. He comes back, blockading the door and giving the rest of the party a chance to escape.
  • Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Bordering on Sociopathic Hero. Only Saves-A-Fox is keeping him from eating the rest of the party, but while she is around his main treatment of the party's enemies involve a lot of Bloody Hilarious Black Humour.
  • Hidden Heart of Gold
    Grem: You came back.
    K'Seliss: Shut up! If anyone asks, I ate your limbs and left you all here to die!
  • Hybrid Monster: A lizardfolk/ogre hybrid.
  • I'm Melting: Contact with Mr Fingers causes flesh to melt or putrefy or something. Doesn't stop him from killing it with his teeth.
  • Insistent Terminology: Everyone he can eat tends to be called something other than their given name or simply "food" in general conversation.
  • Interplay of Sex and Violence: He regards fighting, eating and mating on the same level, and thinks it is perverted to fight things he can't eat.
  • Killed Off for Real: He's dissolved into a puddle of putrescent mush by an undead abomination. This pretty much makes it impossible for him to ever be resurrected.
  • Lizard Folk: He's a lizardfolk, though half ogre as well.
  • Loop Hole Abuse: How he manages to fight against the Mecha-Mooks without committing the lizardfolk taboo note  (see Grievous Harm with a Body).
  • Taking You with Me: Already dying from a wasting, flesh-liquifying disease, K'Seliss used his final moments to bite the head off a huge, undead horror. His last act was to taunt the horror's corpse.

    Klik 

Klik

"Klik"

A strange flying metal sphere that was sitting around in the goblin warcamp. It follows Dies Horribly around after he helps it recover.

    Saves-a-Fox 

Saves-a-Fox

"Trust me. I'm tougher than I look."

A goblin girl who starts looking after Dies.
  • Action Girl:Has taken six levels as a fighter in the past, which is what allowed her to keep K'Seliss in line.
  • Cute Monster Girl: Very pretty, for a female goblin.
  • Foil: To the fatalism of Dies Horribly. Dies was right, and the result sends Saves-a-Fox into a Heroic B.S.O.D..
  • Heroic B.S.O.D.: Goes through this after it is revealed to her that she did, in fact, save a fox.
  • Peek-a-Bangs: This is her hairstyle.
  • Screw Destiny: Her motto. But, as Dies explains to her, You Can't Fight Fate.
  • Simple Staff: And she is very good at using it too.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Literally; she broke goblin law to take fighter levels.
  • Weakness Turns Her On: K'Seliss claims that Saves-A-Fox prefers Dies over Grem because of this. Dies is a hyper-neurotic woobie while Grem is very confident, some might say to the point of arrogance. For what it's worth, Saves was refusing Grem's attempts to court her long before Dies showed up. One of the only times she is even slightly into Grem is when he appears a bit awkward and vulnerable around her.

    Biscuit 

Biscuit

"It sure is a sunny day today. Forgive me, I'm not very familiar with sunshine. In fact, I'm far more familiar with pain and death than I am with sunshine. No matter how much sunshine there is, in my experience, there's always more pain and death. Always. [beat] It sure is a sunny day today."

An orc who was imprisoned in the Well of Darkness in order to provide a constant source of food for the Orb of Bloodlight's demonic guardians. He assists Dies and Saves-a-Fox after they (inadvertently) secure his freedom.
  • Amputation Stops Spread: He is afflicted by Mr Fingers' flesh-rotting curse after standing on a severed finger torn from the monster's body. He opts to cut the cursed leg off with an axe.
  • An Axe to Grind: His Weapon of Choice is a bladed club.
  • Big Damn Heroes: He comes to the rescue of Dies and Fox shortly after Duv sentences them to death.
  • The Big Guy: As well as coming from the Roak clan, supposedly the largest orcs in the realm, he can go toe-to-toe with demons and hold off a horde of Viper clan goblins by himself.
  • Character Tics: sniff
  • Cruel to Be Kind: His lesson on stoicism below.
    Biscuit: (sigh) When a Roak orc is young, his favorite belonging is taken from him, to teach him to rise above the loss.
    Duv: What are you doing?!
    Biscuit: I'm helping you.
    [he then rips Duv's remaining wing off]
  • Deal with the Devil: Is implied to have made one, which resulted in his soul being owned by demons, especially considering that his hair and jaw are transparent note 
  • The Dog Bites Back: His first act after gaining freedom is to cut the head off one of his demonic tormenters.
  • Genius Bruiser: He has very high mental ability scores in addition to his impressive fighting skills (See Living Lie Detector below for an explanation).
  • Gentle Giant: A huge yet, kind (if a bit too harsh) and honorable Orc.
  • Fate Worse Than Death: He spent 600 years being constantly tortured, killed and resurrected by demons who needed to feed on his suffering.
  • Fluffy the Terrible: Named after his favorite food.
  • Handicapped Badass: Even after being injured he still kicks a lot of ass.
  • I Owe You My Life: His sense of honor dictates that he must risk his own life to protect Dies and Fox if it comes to it.
  • Last of His Kind: The rest of his clan, the Roak, were hunted to extinction 200 years ago.
  • Living Lie Detector: Justified due to the Goblins universe being governed by Dungeons & Dragons mechanics; Sense Motive (the skill which lets you know when someone is lying) gets a bonus based off a character's wisdom, and creatures gain a bonus to wisdom as they age. Biscuit is over 600 winters old, and due to a House Rule that bonus has continued to grow after he lived beyond his natural lifespan, so his wisdom stat (and, by extension, his Sense Motive skill) is larger than average.
  • Mark of the Beast: The soft tissues of his lower face and his hair are see-through, marking him as a demon's property.
  • Oh Crap!: Gives a hilarious expression of bewildered shock when he appears to think his massive overdose of healing potions has caused him to sprout feathers.
  • One-Man Army: He is easily one of the strongest two characters in the comic. He manages to single handedly wipe out most of the Viper clan's warriors.
  • Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: This is a VERY Sunny Day.
  • Really 700 Years Old: He's 600 winters old.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives a great one to Duv after rescuing her from drowning.
    Biscuit: The only loss you experience, is the loss you feel. As of today, I have no leg, and yet I've lost nothing. You have let the loss of your body part shape you into something weak and insane. What would you be doing if you weren't paining yourself with this loss everyday?
  • The Spartan Way: Seems to have been a standard practise within his clan.
  • The Stoic: Roak orcs are trained to accept pain and loss without burdening themselves with negative emotions. It lets him shrug off things that would otherwise traumatize him, including the torture described above under Fate Worse Than Death, the knowledge of his entire race dying off 200 winters ago, and having to cut off his own leg to save himself from a flesh-rotting curse.
  • Warrior Poet: The warrior part is imprinted there, and while we still have to see how much of "poet" he is, he can be very eloquent when he wants to be and his Wisdom score is stated to be very, very high, which has got to count for something.

Protagonist Adventuring Party

Originally part of the Antagonist Adventuring Party, the human fighter Minmax and the dwarf cleric Forgath were the only survivors of the original party and have since begun morally reforming themselves. Rescuing and allying with the yuan-ti slave, Kin, they have traveled to the Maze of Many as a diversion from their own quest to stop the White Terror.

    Minmax 

Minmax the Unstoppable Warrior

Alignment: Chaotic Good

A dimwitted human fighter, Minmax lives for treasure, fighting and excitement. The muscle of the triad of himself, Forgath and Kin.
  • Achievements in Ignorance: He manages to create a sword made from Oblivion, the concept of nothingness. According to Kin, the sword continues to exist only because Minmax can't comprehend all the universal and multiversal laws he broke by creating it. And the less he understands it, the more powerful the sword is.
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Zig-Zagged. He loves Kin. Kin isn't too sure if she's capable of love the way humans define it. They were growing closer for a while during the Maze of Many, but Ruby used the Psion Minmax's machine to change that.
  • Battle Aura: His Individual Magical Effect seems to be similar to Complains of Names, with his eyes making a violet lens flare. His eyes seem to go dark when he does so, but this may be a result of Art Shift rather than anything meaningful.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: To the point where out of all of his Maze Of Many incarnations, the eyebrows are the one thing that remain consistent.
  • Character Development: Starts out as, basically, a one-dimensional dungeon-delving thug. Has slowly grown more and more nuanced through the story.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: He checks out the charisma scores of every woman on the street, but beats Goblinslayer almost to death for raping the Cute Monster Girl.
  • Clingy MacGuffin: Played with; his magic sword Oblivious can NEVER be out of his hands- if he releases it, it immediately opens a portal to the next time in the future that he wants it and his future hand pulls it through. So while he doesn't always have to carry it, it always has to be carried by him.
  • Dumb Muscle: Oh, yes. Minmax is pretty much dumb as a stump, but as a killing machine, he does very well for someone of his level. He also gets a number of surprisingly bright ideas, too.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Killing monster for easy loot and XP is one thing, but keeping them as sex slaves is liable to piss him off as Dellyn found out.
  • Fantastic Racism: Initially, he thinks of monsters as something that exists only to be killed. He grows out of this as he adventures with Kin the yuan-ti, going so far as to develop feelings for her. He then starts up an Odd Friendship with Fumbles the goblin.
  • Finger Poke of Doom: He knows 38 ways to kill a guy using just his thumb. Psion Minmax discovered this was true when Minmax finally got his hands on him and made the left side of his skull explode with a single poke.
  • Fire-Forged Friends: With Fumbles, aka Señior Vorpal Kicksasso, to the point that he will happily follow Fumbles into the literal flames of hell.
  • Freudian Trio: The passionate, instincts-driven Id to Forgath's Ego and Kin's Superego.
  • Heroic B.S.O.D.: Suffers a brief one in the Maze of Many when he jeopardizes his friendship with Kin by accidently grabbing her controlling leash during an argument.
    • When he is trapped inside of a dungeon with the GAP whilst Forgarth is stuck outside at Kore's non-existent mercy, all he can do is slump down in the water, sobbing to Complains that, "I lost them both Names. I lost them both."
  • Heroic Sacrifice: In the Maze of Many, he jumps down alone onto the platform with the keys to the treasure room and chucks them up through the opening just before it closes, cutting himself off from Kin and Forgath with hundreds of alternates coming for him.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Forgath, to the point that he calls him "brother".
    • Also, he and Fumbles also seem to be becoming this.
  • Hidden Depths: More emotional then mental:
    • Despite his minmaxer nature and fervent belief that the only point of monsters is to be killed by adventurers, Minmax was still so horrified to discover what Dellyn Goblinslayer was doing to Kin that he immediately attacked him in outrage.
    • Later, he tried to come up with any excuse he could to avoid having to kill Kin in the way that he said was natural, even going to the extent of using his non-existent non-combat skills to try and make a birthday party for her so that he could claim there was something "normal" about her and, thusly, she wasn't a monster.
    • He's also surprisingly understanding of Kin's emotional trauma, taking no offense when she hesitates to take his hand to enter the Maze of Many.
    • After being trapped in a cave with the clearly very upset Fumbles, Minmax tries to comfort him by fixing the goblin's fake moustache.
    • Minmax also pointed out the ridiculousness of Drowbabe's very existence.
    • And he came up with the idea of pushing over a tree made of dead wood to crush the goblins that had him and Forgath pinned. Even Forgath couldn't believe Minmax could come up with something that clever.
  • Interspecies Romance: There's a fair amount of Ship Tease going on between him and Kin, despite the various complications. They share an Almost Kiss after her tail is repaired.
    • A magic pillar in the dungeon he and the GAP are exploring has also revealed that he also finds Kin sexually attractive too.
  • It's Personal: Combined with O.O.C. Is Serious Business. For the first time in his adventuring career, Minmax actually contemplated premeditated murder. When he realized Kore was in the dungeon. He would have gone back to the room with ropes and waited in ambush and then chopped the guy's head off while he was helpless. (Note: Minmax wasn't willing to perform a Coup De Grace on Dellyn Goblinslayer, who was a depraved rapist and tried to kill him.) It was only because Complains told him that the ropes would grab him too that he relented. Why is he acting this way? Because he's avenging Forgath.
  • Magical Eye: In the Maze of Many, his injured eye was magically repaired using his Individual Magical Effect. What Sapphire said suggests it's much more resilient than a normal eye, but everything he sees through it is tinted with his Individual Magical Effect (purple).
  • Man Child: Sometimes bordering of Psychopathic Man Child, especially earlier in the series, before he starts traveling with Kin.
  • Min-Maxing: It's in his name.
  • Morph Weapon: His new sword seems to be an unusual variant of this, where it can take on the properties of other materials that it touches. He breaks it by trying to get it to mimic a hole in reality, and now it's stuck in its current form forever.
  • Odd Friendship: Him and Fumbles. They get on surprisingly well together once they realise just how much their thought processes have in common.
  • Power of the Void: Minmax's new sword Oblivious. Originally a Morph Weapon, it permanantly copied nothing after Minmax sticks it into an oblivion hole. As a result, it cannot be affected spatially or temporally unless Minmax wields it, and is powered by ignorance.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Subverted. Minmax's new suit of magical armor is bright pink... and he hates it. However, it's able to change to any color the wearer likes; he just hasn't realised this fact yet. During the battle with Not-Walter he finally (accidentally) turns it red.
  • Sacrificed Basic Skill for Awesome Training: The whole point of minmaxing is that Minmax has traded away just about every single non-combat trick he can think of for more combat prowess. These include the ability to read for a +1 to hit bonus, the ability to wink for Weapon Proficiency: Furniture, and the ability to rhyme on purpose for Improved Unarmed Strike. As mentioned however above, it comes back to bite him sometimes.
  • Scars Are Forever: Almost lost his eye fighting Complains, and still has a vertical scar over the area.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: He and Fumbles bond over their kinship in personality once they get to know each other.
  • The Berserker: Multiclassed into Barbarian in order to use the Raging-induced strength boost to save himself and Kin from being crushed by rapidly-growing trees.
  • The Munchkin: Naturally; "minmaxer" is another name used in Dungeons & Dragons for a munchkin. Through character development, he becomes much more rounded.
  • Too Dumb to Fool: Forgath tries to confuse him in order to solve a trap. It doesn't take.
  • Too Dumb to Live: The only thing keeping him alive, his prodigious stats aside, is Forgath predicting and preventing the shenanigans that would otherwise kill him. He's later shown to be aware of this.
    Minmax: It's just... this is usually where someone would tackle me and stop me from getting myself killed.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: He likes to poke fun at Forgath from time to time, but it's quite clear that he's willing to protect him.

    Forgath 

Forgath Bladebeard

Alignment: Somewhere between Lawful Good and Lawful Neutral

A dwarven cleric, definitely the brains to Minmax's brawn. He worships Herbert, the Game Master, and was the nominal leader of the band. The first of the group to start questioning if their attack on the goblin warcamp, or even the racism towards goblins, orcs and other such monstrous humanoids, is really alright.
  • Ancestral Weapon: Armor, actually, but the fundamental trope remains the same. His armor is the last thing he has to remember his father by. He's rather miffed when a bunch of Kliks eat it.
  • Because Destiny Says So: He is fated to die at the hands of another dwarf. Given he is currently travelling with a Yuan-ti, Kore may be involved.
  • Berserk Button: In a losing battle, after his helmet is smashed and his clan is threatened, he is enraged and pounds Kore so hard that he actually manages to inflict damage.
  • Better to Die than Be Killed: Rather than let Kore devour his soul, he attempts suicide by jumping off the bridge. It's then Averted in that he gets saved and healed by a bunch of Klik's species.
  • Combat Medic: He is the cleric, after all.
  • Freudian Trio: The level-headed and kind Ego to Minmax's Id and Kin's Superego.
  • Gamer Chick: His player.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: The various translucent/colored patches of his body, created when the Kin-party restores the portion of his beard that was deleted by Oblivion and the Kliks sealed the wounds he was bleeding out from after Kore mutilated him.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: He and Minmax have each other's backs
    • Minmax is even aware of how good their combination is (with Minmax being a fighter and him being a Cleric)
  • Luke Nounverber: His name.
  • Mundane Utility: His favorite magic item, the Anymug, is capable of repeatedly producing any mundane room-temperature fluid that can't inherently destroy the acid-vulnerable stone mug (so no liquid nitrogen, acid or magma). Such as highly flammable oil.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: His reaction when he realises he and his party have basically massacred an innocent band of warriors who want nothing more then to keep their women and children safe. He even races to use his cure minor wounds spell to prevent Thaco from dying as a result.
  • Running Gag: Tackles Minmax whenever the latter does or is about to do something stupid.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: He likes to use Minmax's stupidity to mess with him, but it's clear that he does care for his friend.

    Kin 

Kin (Primary/#156)

Alignment: Neutral Good, with True Neutral leanings

A yuan-ti who was held prisoner by Dellyn Goblinslayer as his "pet", somewhat accidentally freed by Forgath and Minmax. She continues to accompany them, in part because they have a bargain with her that she will let them use the Jade Teapot she's been sent in search of to find the Goblin Adventuring Party and so they are willing to help her in the Maze of Many.
  • Based on a True Story: Word of God is that Kin's character arc, especially her rape and the psychological repercussions, is heavily based on the experiences of the author's mother. Kin's argument with Ruby (Kin #80) about her relationship with Minmax represents the internal conflict his mother felt when she started a new relationship. See this link for the relevant news post.
  • Berserker Tears: She cries as she stabs the Goblinslayer to death with a broken sword-hilt in a rage.
  • Bizarre Alien Biology: She mentions in one comic that it's easier for her to digest meat than anything else, and it's easier still if the meat is still alive when she swallows it.
  • Bizarre Alien Reproduction: Yuan-ti apparently don't normally form monogamous bonds with others and typically reproduce via mating balls, with multiple males coiling around a single female and striving to fertilise her. This means Yuan-ti typically never know who fathered them.
  • Blue and Orange Morality/What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?: She points out that due to how they are raised, Yuan-ti don't form emotional bonds the way humans do. The closest they have is "True-Seeing," being able to see another's soul, to the point of feeling their pleasure and their pain. And that only occurs between two yuan-ti. This may be averted, given the developments between her and Minmax.
  • Broken Bird: Shades of this, though she seems to be getting better.
  • Creepy Good: She escapes a mook by creeping him out and then scaring him into dropping her leash (It Makes Sense in Context).
  • Cute Monster Girl: She's a pretty woman with the tail of a giant snake where her legs should be.
  • Distracting Disambiguation: Used masterfully to get out of a bad spot.
  • Freudian Trio: The logical and very intelligent Superego to Minmax's Id and Forgath's Ego.
  • The Dog Bites Back When Forgath accidently drops her magic leash and Minmax knocks Dellyn unconscious during a brawl, she takes the opportunity to stab him in the neck with a broken sword. Multiple times.
  • Go-Go Enslavement: What Goblinslayer did to her, among much, much worse things.
  • Half The Woman She Used To Be: Her tail was liquefied by Psionic Minmax when she tried to break his neck with it. She survived, but neither he nor Forgath believed it possible, assuming she died instantly. It was repaired with Psionic Minmax's devices.
  • Hates Being Touched: Goblinslayer used to sadistically rape her every night while she was in captivity. It's an understandable consequence. However, it seems that Minmax is growing into an exception.
  • Interspecies Romance: There's a fair amount of Ship Tease going on between her and Minmax, despite the various complications. They share an Almost Kiss after her tail is repaired.
  • Morality Pet: Kin seems to serve this role for Minmax; all of his most likeable moments have stemmed from his desire to protect her, and arguably to grow for her.
  • Non-Mammal Mammaries: Partially Mammal Mammaries (yuan-ti are a blending of humans and serpents. Blame it on magic).
  • Rape as Backstory: While she was enslaved by Dellyn he repeatedly raped her.
  • Restraining Bolt: Her collar, which kept her from acting violently as long as someone was holding the leash.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Yuan-ti have very high natural intelligence, so she tends to talk this way. She gets even more wordy when she's nervous.
  • The Smart Girl: Aside from her sizable vocabulary, she evidently has a formidable mind, usually being the first to figure out a puzzle. This appears to be a common quality among her alternate selves too; three of them in the Maze of Many figured out the same thing Psionic Minmax did; that the pocket universe has simplified physics which can be tampered with.
  • Snakes Are Sexy: She's a giant snake from the waist down, but the resultant effect is Cute Monster Girl, not unnatural horror.
  • Snake People: She's a Yuan-Ti

    Alternate Reality Kins 

#54/Sapphire, #80/Ruby, #201/Onyx

A trio of alternate universe versions of Kin who, encountering each other in the Maze of Many, have decided to form an all-Kin adventuring party, marginally allying with the primary reality party to stop Psion Minmax. Their plan is to manipulate the gears in the Maze of Many to both make it believe they all come from the same reality and to allow them to retain their memories after each play-through of the Maze. After this, they intend to Level Grind by running the Maze repeatedly and resetting before leaving until they decide to leave.
  • Amazon Brigade: Three versions of Kin, all of which are female.
  • Ambiguous Innocence: Sapphire — being incapable of remembering anybody who has died, has severely reduced her capacity to feel regret and will kill without hesitation because her victims, for her, simply cease to exist once she destroys them. This makes her "carefree and childlike", but also really creepy.
  • Colourful Theme Naming: Since calling each other Kin would just get confusing, they use nicknames instead; Ruby (Kin #80), Sapphire (Kin #54) and Onyx (Kin #201)
  • Cute Monster Girl: Of the Snakes Are Sexy variety.
  • Fighter, Mage, Thief: Of the three Kins who make up the party, we have one as-yet-unidentified Dual Wielding warrior-type (Ruby), a sorcerer (Onyx), and an archer (Sapphire).
  • Forgotten Fallen Friend: Invoked and deconstructed with Sapphire, whose magical facial tattoos cause her to be incapable of remembering anyone who dies. This has allowed her to forget all the deaths she caused as Dellyn's pet assassin — especially four of her clan friends, the grief of which was destroying her — but also caused her to immediately forget the existence of her dimension's Minmax and Forgath when the Maze killed them. Her bio notes that if her memory-modifying tattoos are ever dispelled, she won't be able to handle it when her memories come back.
  • He Who Fights Monsters: Ruby has spent so long soured and embittered by Dellyn's treatment of her that she cannot stand Minmax's and Kin's love, and decided to essentially Mind Rape Kin by using the oblivion holes to erase the necklace that was the symbol of that love.
  • Hypocrite: Ruby, who tells Kin she cannot trust Minmax, and she would be better of with the three Kins. She decides to show her this by stealing the memento of Kin and Minmax's trust and erasing it from existence.
  • Ms. Fanservice: In contrast to their primary reality counterpart, Sapphire and Onyx both dress in skimpy clothing. For Sapphire, this is explicitly because she was never Dellyn's sex-slave, while for Onyx, it's presumably the same. Only Ruby averts this by wearing a practical breastplate — and it's revealed that, like Kin, she went through the horrors of being Dellyn's sex-slave.
  • Raven Hair, Ivory Skin: Onyx, technically. Her hair's actually a very dark green.
  • Sexy Jester: Onyx evokes the look, as she's naturally pale-white-skinned and has had salmon-colored, mime-like markings emblazoned on her cheeks and above her eyes as part of a narrowly averted stint as a Human Sacrifice.
  • Sociopathic Hero: Ruby hates all non Yuan-ti so much that she cannot stand Minmax and Kin's love for each other, and deliberately destroys that love with the oblivion holes.
  • Stupid Sexy Flanders: In Onyx's dimension, all female humanoids have milky white skin and only males have any sort of tanning. Her counterparts from the other dimensions are coloured like males from her homeworld, which means she's feeling "things". Especially towards Ruby.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: This comic sees Ruby and Kin trading short versions at each other as Ruby tries to convince Kin to leave Minmax and join her party.

Antagonist Adventuring Party

The members of a band of adventurers who inadvertently founded the Goblin Adventuring Party by attacking their warcamp. Originally five strong, consisting of two drow, a drow/hobbit halfling, and Minmax & Forgath. The drow all perished during their assault. While Forgath and Minmax have gone their separate ways, the other three eventually respawned, only to die at the hands of Evil Klik. Whether they will reappear again remains a mystery.

    Seth/Baka 

Seth/Baka

Originally a blatant derivative of Drizzt Do'urden, he died when Thaco cut him down to -3 hit points, then left him to bleed out over seven rounds. As Baka, he becomes a human of pseudo-Japanese nature and a member of the Samurai class.
  • Ask a Stupid Question...: Asks a goblin if he'll bind his wounds. Funny enough, the goblin in question is Asks Nonsense.
  • Meaningful Name: The name of his second character means "idiot" in Japanese. This is appropriate because... see above.
  • Rules Lawyer: After seeing Evil Klik kill Tuck, all he can think of doing is complaining that it never rolled initiative, so the battle didn't officially start.
  • Shout-Out: Tries to prove his ring is a Ring of Summon Monster by summoning a Geodude.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Goes into a Rules Lawyer rant and then attacks Evil Klik, even after seeing it one-shot Tuck and as Yodette screams at him to run. Is promptly killed.
  • Occidental Otaku: As Baka, is obsessed with Japan and tries to work it into every conversation, despite the fact, as his exasperated companions keep telling him, Japan doesn't exist in this world.

    Drast/Tuck 

Drasst/Tuck

Alignment: Chaotic Evil (Drasst), Unknown (Tuck)

Like Seth, Drasst was a blatant rip-off of Drizzt, only in his case short and fat, which he attributed to being raised by stereotypical hobbits. He cut off the arm of Dies-Horribly, and was then fatally Impaled with Extreme Prejudice by Klik. As Tuck, he becomes an actual halfling, specializing in the usage of a longbow.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Has a bad tendency to talk about things from a player perspective rather than a PC perspective.
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: Completely exsanguinated, while still alive, at the hands of Evil Klik.
  • The Hyena: As Drasst, at least.
  • Irony: Got killed by Klik as Drasst... then gets killed by Evil Klick as Tuck.
  • Token Evil Team Mate: Drasst repeatedly shows himself to be actively sadistic, rather than just short-sighted like his teammates.
  • You Wanna Get Sued?: His original character's full name was "Drasst Don'tsue".

    Drowbabe/Yodette 

Drowbabe/Yodette

Possibly a man roleplaying a female PC, Drowbabe was a voluptuously endowed and spectacularly dimwitted drow sorcerer, who ended up killed by Big-Ears during the attack on the goblin warcamp. As Yodette, is a somewhat less big-breasted yet still dimwitted human cleric.
  • Absolute Cleavage: As Drowbabe/Tryst.
  • Achievements in Ignorance: As Drowbabe, she shrugs off wounds while under the effects of a Mage Armour spell because she doesn't understand its mechanics (she thinks it provides damage resistance, when it actually makes attacks more likely to miss you).
  • All There in the Manual: Her real name never appears in the comic. It's Tryst Drow'den.
  • Brainless Beauty: Partially explainable on a meta level: Sorcerers need a high charisma score, so a common Min-Maxing strategy is to dump intelligence. Clerics benefit from both high wisdom and charisma, making the same dump stat even more helpful.
  • Genre Savvy: Surprisingly enough. Even tries to warn Baka and Tuck from messing with the wounded but not yet dead Evil Klik because it's certain to get them killed and leave her to do the "dumb blonde who runs away screaming from the monster until it eats her" routine.
  • Guy In Real Life: According to Minmax.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: One could argue that the main reason Evil Klik got a drop on Tuck was because he was distracted by his freak out over Yodette's uncharacteristically intelligent statement.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: When she tries to invoke tropes to persuade Baka and Tuck to leave Evil Klik alone, they're both flabbergasted that something so intelligent could come out of her mouth.
  • Stripperific: It's hard to tell who is worse about this; Drowbabe or Yodette.

Cursed Party

Forgath meets two adventurers, Idle and Bowst, who by their own admission are covered in curses from having tackled a dungeon crawl called "The Cursewalk". Bowst found a cursed talking sword called Ward, and it was later devoured by one of the metal-eating Klik. That didn't change the curse a iota: Bowst is now stuck where said Klik decides to stay.

    Bowst 

Bowst

An aggressive, somewhat dimwitted male human fighter.
  • Curse: Bowst is compelled to hit himself in the face every time he says the word "what" (thus forcing him to wear padded mittens to soften the blows), and he's also linked to a cursed sword (a very rude Talking Weapon) which he can't get far away from without taking damage.
  • Dumb Muscle: He's not exactly a smart character. He's honestly kind of like a more Jerkass version of early-series-Minmax.
  • Friends with Benefits: He and Idle regularly have sex, but according to Idle, they both accept that this is purely a survival matter and they don't have any deeper sort of relationship.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Bowst calls Forgath "Mr. Can't Wait to Brag About His Level", when he's the one who couldn't wait to state his own (a whopping level three) and Forgath was just responding to this. He's clearly too dumb to notice the irony.
  • Mate or Die: One of Bowst's curses requires him to have sex every day or die. Luckily for him Idle doesn't mind helping.
  • Odd Friendship: How did he and Idle end up together anyway? Only time will tell.
  • That Came Out Wrong: He and Forgaths' argument about "balls", meaning Kliks. Idle tries to fight off laughter.

    Idle 

Idle

A female elvish adventurer who is travelling with Bowst. Currently has rabbit and goblin traits due to the Cursewalk.
  • Curse: Mentions that the rabbit ears she now sports are just a minor one among those. Considering the next entry down, she wasn't kidding.
  • Cursed with Awesome: She can resurrect once a day after dying. Downside — she has to die once a day, or else she dies permanently, forcing her companion to behead her every evening.
  • Cute Monster Girl: She's an elf in her natural form, but thanks to a couple of her curses, she currently has rabbit and goblin features.
  • Distinguished Gentleman's Pipe: Smokes a blue one.
  • Friends with Benefits: She and Bowst have sex at least once a day, because Bowst is under a Mate or Die curse. She accepts that there's nothing deeper to it beyond survival. Although her precise wording (and admission that she really enjoys it) implies she wouldn't mind if they were more than that, but Bowst isn't interested.
  • The Gadfly: Gleefully joins in on Forgath's trolling of Bowst and teases Forgath by telling him she tattooed a naked orc on his head while he was sleeping.
  • Heh Heh, You Said "X": Cracks up laughing during an unintentionally innuendo-laden argument between Forgath and Bowst about Bowst's "balls".
  • Little Bit Beastly: Has a pair of furry bunny ears thanks to her curse.
  • The Many Deaths of You: She has to experience death once a day, every day or she dies, permanently. The revival is shown to be quite painful.
  • Mix-and-Match Critters: She's an elf with goblin ears, an extra pair of bunny ears, a slightly rabbit-like face (harelip) and pronounced "buck teeth".
  • Ms. Fanservice: As attractive as Saves-a-Fox and far more Stripperific — she basically wears a bikini bottom and a small vest that's practically falling open.
  • Odd Friendship: With Bowst.
  • Shorter Means Smarter: She's small in comparison to big warrior Bowst, but is clearly the one with the most brains.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: When Bowst attempts to put one over on Forgath by declaring that "four" is now "two", Idle joins in on Forgath's relentless counter-Trolling of him.
    Bowst: Shut-up Forgath!
    Idle: "Shut-up Twogath".
    Bowst: AAAAHH!
    Forgath: Aw, ya ninja'd me.
    Idle: Hee, I like you.
  • Tattoo as Character Type: She tattoos herself with elven skin paint, which never comes off, every morning (since her previous tattoos are erased every time her curse revives her).
  • Women Are Wiser: It's not hard to be wiser than Bowst, but Idle seems to keep him out of trouble.

    Ward 

Ward

A cursed sword that inflicts damage to its user if they're separated. It was later devoured by one of the metal-eating Klik, giving it the power of speech, though it didn't change the curse a iota.
  • Call a Human a "Meatbag": Ward addresses dwarves/elves/humans with such niceties as "bag of floppy organs" or "pile of wet idiocy".
  • Clingy MacGuffin: Part of its curse is that it inflicts damage to its user (Bowst) if they're separated, and retains this as a Klik.
  • Conflict Ball: Pun aside, its role is to serve as this: Bowst and Idle could leave the valley of the Kliks if they could get Ward to come with them. But Ward absolutely refuses to leave its new home up until another Klik accidentally gets warped and risks threatening The End of the World as We Know It.
  • Talking Weapon: A talking sword and a really rude one. It was later eaten by a Klik, giving it the power of speech as well as its Jerkass disposition.

Villains

    Dellyn 

Dellyn Goblinslayer

"I am Dellyn Goblinslayer! Captain of the elite guard and Hero of Brassmoon! There is no way that you can defeat me!"

Alignment: Neutral Evil

The first major villain of the series, beloved hero of the city of Brassmoon, a Ranger specialised in slaying goblins.
  • Big Bad Wannabe: He clearly thinks he's the Big Bad, but he's wrong. After Thaco defeats him in a humiliating manner and leaves him alive, he is roughed up in a meaningless barfight, but doesn't really die until Kin, one of his victims, finishes him off.
  • The Bully: He is a ranger that specializes in killing goblins, which in the story setting are still treated like low level xp fodder unless they take Adventurer levels. Do the math.
  • Break the Cutie: What he does to his Yuan-Ti slave Kin, to a horrific level.
  • Broken Pedestal: To Minmax. When he first meets him, he's gushing over him like a fanboy, before he hears that he rapes Kin every night. Minmax normally hates monsters, but after a few beat panels, he gets mad enough to throw him out of the bar and fight him to the death.
  • The Dreaded: He's known as the Goblinslayer for a reason.
  • Enemies Equals Greatness: He believes that how badly a person's enemies want to kill them decides whether or not they're worthy of being described as 'legendary'. Not that he'll let anyone he wants to kill be described as legendary, though.
  • Establishing Character Moment: During his first 'meeting' with Fumbles, he displays both his Fantastic Racism and his knowledge of, and sadistic appreciation for torture.
  • Fantastic Racist: His hatred of the 'monster races.'
  • A Fate Worse Than Death: From his perspective, ignominy. He's completely satisfied with being killed by Thaco, if it means he'll go down in goblin history as a legend. But when Thaco tells him he's Not Worth Killing and leaves him alive but defeated, he has a full-on Villainous Breakdown.
  • Forest Ranger: His class is Ranger.
  • Green Thumb: On a limited scale.
  • Hypocrite: He's happy to use his Enemies Equals Greatness philosophy to justify why he considers himself legendary, but he refuses to let Thaco be described as 'legendary' despite harboring a grim obsession with killing him.
  • It's All About Me: The fact that he had a statue of himself put in the center of the city should tell you something.
  • Karmic Death: After a very thorough Humiliation Conga, Dellyn is finally killed by Kin, the monster girl that he spent his spare time raping.
  • Lack of Empathy: Despite being Brassmoon City's defender he doesn't actually care if his actions lead to the death of any of the citizens, only about how heroic he can make himself look once the dust has settled. The only other character he's shown to have any feelings for is Saral Caine, when he weeps over his corpse.
  • Luke Nounverber: Intentional, as he took the name for himself.
  • Magitek Hollywood Cyborg: He looks to be a half wood-golem. That is, a human with bits and pieces of a wood golem added to his body to make him stronger.
  • Pet the Dog: He is visibly grief-stricken when he sees Saral Caine's decapitated corpse. Normally that wouldn't be so much of a Pet the Dog moment except it's the only humanizing moment he has in the whole story.
  • Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: What he did to Kin was enough to make Minmax, normally of the type to consider all monsters worth killing for the XP, go ballistic on his ass.
  • Rasputinian Death: Being humiliatingly defeated by his favored enemynote , having his Breaking Lecture turned on its ear, being told by one of his oldest opponents he's Not Worth Killing, and losing an ear right before he loses his position, his pride, and is reduced to an angry drunk. Shortly thereafter Dellyn is thrown through a window, slashed and pummeled, set on fire, beaten over the head with a table, and finally stabbed to death repeatedly.
    • And then there's his alternate from Reality 98, who was tortured to death by that reality's Minmax. We never get told exactly what Minmax did to him, but it took hours.
  • The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: He must be the one to kill Thaco, the only inmate ever to have escaped from the facility he oversees in Brassmoon. Lampshaded several times, and Thaco constructs a Batman Gambit that relies on this.
  • Torture Technician: He sadistically vivisects captured monsters in order to learn their weaknesses.
  • Villain with Good Publicity: Seems to be highly regarded by the citizens of Brassmoon for keeping their city safe from monsters. Subverted in that the incident that got him his possition in Brassmoon was actually solved by the goblin named Hawl, while Dellyn took the credit.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: He doesn't wear a shirt.
  • Wooden Katanas Are Even Better: The wooden swords he uses look more like falchions than katanas, but they are strong enough to sunder metal.

     Saral Caine 

Saral Caine

Alignment: Neutral Evil

Dellyn Goblinslayer's adventuring partner and second hand man in Brassmoon. Believed to be a stone giant/human crossbreed due to the color of his skin, and no less a despicable villain than his partner. He's also the one Big Ears the goblin took his magical weapon and armor from....
  • Artifact of Doom: His axe is magical; an artifact designed to allow an inconceivably powerful demon to enter the mortal plane.
  • An Axe to Grind: His favored weapon is a magical axe with accompanying armor set.
  • The Brute: This is basically his gig.
  • The End of the World as We Know It: If Big Ears hadn't claimed the axe, the seal wouldn't have been renewed and the demon inside would have wrecked the world. And all because he wanted a Paladin's Magic axe.
  • Fantastic Racism: Shares his friend's, Delyn's, views on the "monster" races, especially goblins.
  • Half-Human Hybrid: He looks like a large, gray skinned, bald human. His heredity was never officially confirmed, and the only hint of him being a crossbreed is a throwaway comment by a character of there being a half stone giant/half human in Brassmoon.

    Kore 

Kore

"All evil, even potential evil, must be eradicated."

Alignment: Lawful Good

The mysterious Dwarven Paladin who slays any member of any evil race he encounters... or anyone that he thinks is tainted by contact with a member of an evil race.
  • Advancing Boss of Doom: He takes his sweet time chasing after his victims.
  • Big Bad: He is thus far the closest thing to a Big Bad for the entire series, dramatically overshadowing even Dellyn Goblinslayer in power and perhaps even cruelty, and a living avatar of everything the Goblin Adventuring Party stands against. He is also the first villain to have killed a main character and member of the G.A.P, namely Chief.
  • Black and White Insanity: So extreme as to be verging on Blue and Orange Morality.
    Kore: All evil must be destroyed. Even potential evil.
  • Body Horror: His helmet doesn't just show only one eye for protection.
  • Bow and Sword, in Accord: His preferred tactic seems to be pincushioning foes with his pair of Automatic Crossbows, but he's no slouch in melee and is capable of slicing up any enemy who manages to get close to him.
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: He tortures Chief, using Lay on Hands to keep him alive, to lure the goblin party via his screams.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Wears metal boots beneath his shoes, in case someone tries to attack his feet.
    • Turns out he can get back up if he falls on top of his enormous shield.
  • Curse: He has been stated to be under one, though he perceives it as a blessing.
  • Determinator: Once he has chosen a target, he cannot be stopped. Fusing a rope with his throat is not enough to slay him... not even to significantly slow him down.
  • The Dreaded: He has a tendency to induce Oh Crap! moments in members of the monster races. If Forgath's reaction to finding out that he's on his way is any indication, this reputation extends to the non-monster races as well.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Brutally and efficiently slaughters all the patrons of a tavern in the first scene he appears in, displaying both his incredible skill with weapons and his Knight Templar philosophy in the process.
  • Evil Counterpart: He could be seen as this to Big Ears. Kore is an extraordinarily brutal example of a Knight Templar Paladin, who implicitly only maintains this because of his utterly warped world view. Compare Big Ears, who is a genuinely kind and heroic example of a Paladin who believes in Good Feels Good.
  • The Faceless: He always wears a half-spherical helmet fully covering his face, save for his beard and one slit for his eye. For good reason: the parts under his armour are pure Nightmare Fuel.
  • Facial Horror: Almost all of it is replaced by the screaming faces of his victims, plus a glowing, smoking gash that would kill any normal being.
  • Fallen Hero: From a legitimate paladin to a murderous, insane, walking monstrosity. He was originally part of an entire group of paladins who fought a demon called The Sacred in Hell; they were all killed except for Kore, who was cursed to be like he is now.
  • Fantastic Racism: He believes that certain races of creature are simply evil by default, and need to be hunted to extinction for the good of the world.
  • Fights Like a Normal: He can kill most things he comes across without resorting to using his paladin powers. It led to some speculation that he had lost his powers, since the only magic he used was via magic items for spells that weren't on the paladin spell list to begin with. That was eventually jossed with a vengeance.
  • Good Powers, Bad People: Uses his paladin powers to heal a creature he intends to torture, in order to prolong the victim's suffering.
  • Good Wings, Evil Wings: When he finally proves he can cast paladin spells, he displays a very singular Individual Magical Effect (aura) which roughly looks like a pair of angel wings, but they are made from chains of light with the heads of his past victims attached... including one that uncannily resembles the little dwarf child he has slain. Very fitting for someone who is superficially a paladin, but evil within.
  • Guns Akimbo: Automatic crossbows akimbo.
  • Hero Killer: Both figuratively and literally, in Chief's case.
  • He Who Fights Monsters: Believes that the existence of evil in any group, from a monstrous species to a clan of dwarves, means that the entire group needs to be eradicated to prevent the "infection" from spreading. He is blind to the irony of using wholesale mass murder and torture in pursuit of that goal.
  • Hypocrite: He calls others evil. In fact, his whole morality runs on a Double Standard.
  • Humanoid Abomination: At least half of his face is made up of the trapped souls of his victims. Even his beard starts to look more like tentacles than hair. And as for what might be underneath that armour...
  • Implacable Man: Nothing can stop him to date, just slow him down momentarily.
  • Kill 'em All: His goal for anything he considers an evil creature, or potentially evil.
  • Knight of Cerebus: His entry is the exact point when Goblins went from a comedic, lighthearted look at goblins to a serious story with an overarching plot.
  • Knight Templar: A particularly brutal version. How brutal and Templarish is he? You know that thing about killing people "tainted" by contact with an evil race? That includes people who were kidnapped by members of said race. And he doesn't even spare kids who fall into their hands.
  • Last of His Kind: According to Forgath, he is the last of the Greyhill Paladins.
  • Light Is Not Good: He's a Paladin, but he's lucky not to have Fallen. Even in his hideous true form he invokes this: a large gaping golden wound implies that whatever caused that is a divine spell.
  • Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: It's bigger than he is. And he's huge, despite being a dwarf.
  • Mighty Glacier: He's never been shown moving faster than a slow walk, but is capable of carrying around two axes, two crossbows, and a a large shield, and using them efficiently.
  • Moral Sociopathy: He genuinely thinks he is doing the morally decent thing, but utter lack of empathy prevents him from being likeable at all.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Turns out that the Greyhill Paladins were actually duped into helping the Sacred, not imprisoning it.
  • No Cure for Evil: Averted, but it is not a good thing.
  • Obliviously Evil: His goal of eradicating all evil is racist, overly violent, and willfully cruel overall and half of the people we see him kill aren't evil at all. Going by the fact that he hasn't Fallen, he clearly doesn't consider his actions evil.
  • One-Man Army: Rumored to have slaughtered entire armies of orcs and ogres singlehandedly.
  • The Paladin: He's a legitimate Paladin, but he commits some of the most evil acts seen on-panel due to a curse that was placed on him when he fought The Sacred, forcing him to believe he's doing good.
  • Proof by Examples: When he meets two dwarves from the same clan and judges both of them to be evil, he decides that this is proof enough that the entire clan is evil and needs to be eradicated.
  • Really 700 Years Old: According to the Parasite Demon, Kore was the lone surviving paladin from the battle against the demon deity. That happened 1057 years ago!
  • Tautological Templar: He is on a quest to eradicate evil from the world. He doesn't realize he's going about it by performing some of the most evil acts seen on-screen, including torturing a helpless opponent so the latter's anguished screams will draw his fleeing companions.
  • Trial by Friendly Fire: A borderline case, since he doesn't know Minmax or Forgath. All he does know is that they were fighting goblins, but this doesn't stop him from firing on the goblins, hitting Minmax and Forgath in the crossfire.
  • The Unfettered: Kore's beliefs aren't currently known to be changeable. And it's probably not a good idea to call him on them.
  • Tin Tyrant: He is completely covered in armor.
  • Unwitting Pawn: Big Ears speculates that Kore was cursed and tricked by the demons of the Axe of Prissan into creating it, and that rather than serving as Sealed Evil in a Can, the demons intended it as a delivery system to enable them to conquer the Goblins Material Plane.
  • Villain-by-Proxy Fallacy: His primary goal seems to be the elimination of the monstrous races, but members of the civilised races who could potentially harbor sympathy for monsters are also fair game.
  • Would Hurt a Child: As mentioned, Kore believes that evil should be eradicated wherever it is found. He also believes it is somehow contagious and even children who have spent any amount of time in the presence of what he deems evil are irrevocably tainted by evil themselves, and so wastes no time in killing even children in that case.
  • Your Soul Is Mine: He steals the souls of his victims.

    Duv 

Duv (The White Terror)

"A frightening amount of death is needed when bringing in a new world order. You would be wise not to concern yourself with the lives of lesser beings."

The leader of the Viper Clan and Dark Messiah to the goblin race.

    Not-Walter 

Not-Walter/Grinnorarcen

"Ha ha! Yeah, right. As if "Walter" would be the name that the ancients gave me before time began! Ha ha! That gag never gets old!"

Alignment: By D&D standard, Lawful Evil

A huge, hulking Pit Fiend who appears due to an ill-timed request by Forgath and co. for more challenge. By the rules for demons in the Goblins setting, anyone who did know his true name would gain control over him. Minmax tried to guess it and failed (although the demon briefly tricked him into thinking it was "Walter," leading to his common Fan Nickname).

The demon is later seen in the Maze of Many, where an alternate Minmax guessed correctly.

He is also the star of the small, comedic series "Not-Walter Screams Like A Little Girl".
  • Big Red Devil: He's a Pit Fiend.
  • Blood Knight: He genuinely expects that our-world Minmax is an opponent worth fighting, with good reason.
  • Healing Factor: Any wounds he receives from a non-holy weapon regenerate within seconds.
  • I Know Your True Name: Knowing his true name allows the person that knows it to control him. Kin uses it to send him back to Hell and escape the control of an evil alt-Minmax.
  • Jerkass : He's a bit of a dick. Amusingly, in all his apparences he is more dickish than evil.
  • Nothing Personal: He just has to kill anyone his master orders him to kill.
  • Medium Awareness: Once.
  • Our Demons Are Different: The name thing is explicitly a houserule, not part of the normal D&D rules the setting is based on. Also, he's a devil, not a demon.
  • Punch Clock Villain: More like a Punch Clock Antagonist (he's still genuinely evil, after all); he outright says he has nothing personal against our Minmax and Forgath, he's just required to kill them because the guy who knows his true name ordered him to.
  • Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies: His initial appearance was based on the 'Grudge Monster' variant of this trope, though the heroes successfully fled.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: Yup, the badass Blood Knight overly-muscled devil does.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Or dolls, in his case.

    Psionic Minmax 

Psionic Minmax

"You see how much pain existence brings? You only fear Oblivion because it is not yet here and you are burdened with a disgusting sense of survival. As a psion, that is something I have been able to overcome. Soon we will all never have been. You're welcome."

Alignment: "True Neutral"

The primary villain of the 'Maze of Many' story arc. An Alternate Self to Minmax from an Alternate Universe with formidable psionic powers, whose goal is to erase the Maze, and everyone inside it, from existence.
  • Apologetic Attacker: Apologises to The Kin from his universe after killing her for the 817th time, shortly before death #818.
  • As You Know: Explains his goals, and how devoted he is to them, in a speech to someone who should already be aware of them.
  • Back from the Dead: His Reality Warper machine has a timer function that brings him back.
  • Big "NO!": After Minmax throws him into the winner's circle, forcing him to exit the Maze and banishing him back to his reality.
  • Blue and Orange Morality: He identifies as Neutral despite exploding heads and trying to retroactively erase an entire pocket universe from existence. He considers this to not be a contradiction because his motivation for doing so is a desire to remove himself from existence, away from the notions of Good, Evil, Law and Chaos. He doesn't seem to know or care that nobody else would want this.
  • Clock King: Unlike the other parties travelling through the Maze, he's found a way to retain his memories from his previous attempts. This has allowed him to become intimately familiar with the Maze and its mechanics, and how each of the parties travelling through it will behave, though logically there must be one party he has no prior knowledge of.
  • Death Seeker: He wants to obliterate everything within the Maze of Many. Including himself. Especially himself. The Maze is so valuable because it's the only way he can assure that he is rendered Deader Than Dead.
  • Dungeon Bypass: Able to do this easily within the Maze of Many. He has no intention of reaching the end, however.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: The same machine he used to amplify his powers allowed the Kins to change his weakness, which made it so that Minmax could kill him.
  • Fate Worse Than Death: Minmax casting him out of the Maze of Many through its winner's circle means that Psionic Minmax can't ever return to the Maze of Many, so he can't use it to render himself Deader Than Dead. Plus, to make things even worse for the Death Seeker, his artificially generated body is even harder to kill than his original body was.
  • Hypocrite: "I wonder what it's like to see yourself with such omnipotent importance", said the man attempting to reprogram reality because he personally decided the universe is too flawed to persist.
  • I Reject You, Reality: Considers reality itself to be to blame for all suffering. After all, when he hits someone, it's their nervous system which enables them to feel pain. Nobody ever asked for it to work that way, so why is reality forcing everyone to conform to its "rules"?
  • Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Used against the Minmax and Kin from reality #156.
    Psionic Minmax: [thinking] I'm hoping that simple conversation with them will prove informative.
    Prime Minmax: Go away, you big stupid poopybreath!
    Psionic Minmax: [thinking] A second consideration is to just torture them for awhile and see if that tells me anything.
  • Just Between You and Me: For some reason, he feels the need to gloat that even if he is killed, he will resurrect when the maze resets, and use the knowledge he's gained to accomplish his omnicidal goals on a future runthrough. Minmax tossing him into the winner's circle to force him out of the maze apparently never occurred to him.
  • Mind over Matter
  • Min-Maxing: Like all the other incarnations of Minmax; in his case, he traded away his ability to use Mind Control powers in exchange for a higher intelligence. In addition, by using psionic Reality Warper gears, he is able to take it Up to Eleven, channelling every single one of his weaknesses into a single, mathematical, concept: the number 77,914,839,447.
  • Never My Fault: Refuses to take responsibility for his actions, preferring to blame the universe. For example, if he kills someone, he claims it's the universe's fault that death is possible at all.
  • Not So Omniscient After All: At one point he makes a prediction that he has at least eight minutes to finalize his plans before any of the other parties can interrupt him, not realising that Forgath and Kin found a Dungeon Bypass that placed them close to the end of the maze.
  • Oh Crap!: When Kin broadcast his plans to all the other parties, leading to them deciding to team up on him.
    • And again when Minmax 38 is about to shank him, after proving to be immune to his telekinesis thanks to the Kins messing with his machine.
    • And at long last, one when he's finally defeated after our Minmax threw him into the winner's circle, forcing him to exit the Maze of Many.
  • Omnicidal Maniac: Attempting to create a Universal Metaphysical Annihalation, localized within the Maze.
  • Reality-Breaking Paradox: His plan to destroy the Maze involves generating a non-paradoxical mathematical proof that 1=0.
  • Reality Warper: Using psionic gears of his own creation, he has immense control over the Maze of Many.
  • Red Right Hand: His arms are skeletally thin, purple, and end in clawed fingers.
  • Scenery Censor: He came back naked, but luckily there's a good bit of smoke present to conceal his nether regions.
  • Story-Breaker Power: Because he remembers his previous runs through the maze, he has apparently also retained the xp he earned through all of those runs. Assuming he was level 2 when he entered, and even if he only killed his Kin and Forgath each time, that still puts him far ahead of any other version of himself likely to be running the maze, as he has run the maze hundreds of times. The machine he's using to destroy reality also enhances his abilities to a great degree, making him near invincible by focusing all of his weaknesses and converting them into a mathematical concept: the number 77,914,839,447. Lampshaded by Onyx, one of Kin's alts.
    Onyx: That psion is grossly overpowered.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: He never wears a shirt.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: His stated goal is the complete elimination of suffering. Unfortunately, the only way he can achieve that is to completely destroy reality so suffering has nowhere to take place.
    Forgath: You can go to hell!
    Psionic Minmax: I'm trying to get us out of hell.
  • You Are Number 6: He somehow enumerated the various realities present in the Maze, and tended to refer to the characters by the numbers of the dimensions they come from. Primary reality Kin is from dimension #156.
  • Your Head A-Splode: Exploding his opponent's bodyparts, including their heads, with his psionic powers seems to be his preferred method of killing.

    Evil Klik 

Evil Klik

The replacement limb that Klik gave to Dies Horribly, detached and transformed into an utterly malignant specimen of Klik's race.
  • Axe Crazy: Evil Klik seems to be genuinely sadistic and displays an earnest enjoyment of torturing his creator.
  • Evil Hand: Used to be this.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Evil Klik just wanted to keep Dies Horribly safe and to be loved by him. Instead, his efforts to secure that love just drove Dies to try to kill him.
  • Morph Weapon: Evil Klik is technically a living example of one of these.
  • Outside-Genre Foe: Sort of. He is a part of the Goblins world, but he doesn't play by the world's rules. He doesn't roll initiative to start combat, and he doesn't worry about hit points, draining the blood directly from his victims, which kills them instantly. He manages to slaughter the Antagonist Adventuring Party, because they're too confused to react.
  • Vampiric Draining: Evil Klik is capable of sucking the blood from others by burying his "fingers" into them, which he displays quite graphically on Tuck.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: Evil Klik is harmed by Dies' new replacement arm. However, he is healed by blood, which was Klik's Weaksauce Weakness.
  • Yandere: Evil Klik's ultimate reasons for evil are to protect his "father", Dies Horribly — the problem is, he also wants to "protect him" from people who try to be Dies' friend.

    The Sacred 

The Sacred

A demon demigod that seeks to convert the Goblins Material Plane into a new layer of hell.
  • Big Bad: It is the reason Kore went mad and poses a threat to the entire world.
  • Humans Are Insects: According to a demon parasite associated with it, it is so far beyond mere mortals that it has no interest in communicating with them, only in feeding off their suffering.
  • Sealed Evil in a Can: Subverted. It was originally believed that the Sacred was sealed inside the Axe of Prissan. This turns out to be a lie; Axe isn't a prison at all, it's a means for the Sacred to enter the mortal plane.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/Goblins