Garland: And what kind of tactics do you tend to employ? Fighter: Oh, we usually murder our way to the top and claim victory whilst astride a pile of mangled bodies. Garland: I see... Fighter: But we're heroes so it's okay when we do that.
The "heroes" of the story, by virtue of the fact that they showed up to the recruiting station at the right time. Vary between stupid and evil (except for Fighter, who's always stupid), and usually solve their problems through sheer luck.
Nominal Heroes: In-universe they are only considered heroes because King Steve appointed them to be the Light Warriors, and he only did so because they showed up first and tricked him into choosing them. Neither King Steve who appointed them nor Thief who became their leader cared much about the fate of the world they were supposed to save, as Thief explains in episode 336. As the story progresses it becomes increasingly obvious that the Light Warriors are the Villain Protagonists of the story.
Seen It All: By the end of the comic, except for Fighter. Well, technically he'd seen it all too, but was too busy thinking about swords to really pay attention.
Black Mage has a number of epiphanies about the nature of evil and the nature of morality... unfortunately he ignores them either because his Sanity Meter is turned to "psycho" or evil is too much fun. The two could be interrelated.
If there was a way to get magic for free, do you really think I'd have spent so much time sacrificing children to my dark gods? For spells, I mean. Obviously there'd still be sacrifices. A hobby's a hobby.
The most evil and most intelligent member of the Light Warriors, not that either is saying much. Also their deidicated Only Sane Man, blaster, and Butt Monkey.
Black Magic: Specifically necromancy and several offensive spells, such as Bolt-2a.k.a. Electric Death, Eye Beams and of course his Hadoken, which he got by sacrificing nine orphaned kids to his dark god and which siphons love out of the universe every time it's used.
Blessed with Suck: He becomes this kind of character after his class change. At first he thought that Blue Magic grants its user the immunity to enemy attacks, as well as the ability to learn and use said attacks - so naturally, he was overjoyed after gaining Blue Magic. As he learned quickly (and painfully), it didn't grant him immunity to anything, and while he was able to learn attacks used against him, he had to survive them first. Plus, in the course of the series, he's learned only three spells through Blue Magic - one of which is the Goblin Punch, which has a mostly impractical range. The others include a spell specifically targeted at him, as he learns the hard way, while the third one rewrites reality according to Sarda's whim, which in practice also makes it targeted at him.
Brilliant, but Lazy: It's fairly easy to read him as this; over the course of the comics he's used the widest varieties of spells, displayed in-depth knowledge about magical theory (including magics he doesn't personally practice, such as ice and summoning) and history, and as mentioned elsewhere, so long as he's not particularly angry or close to White Mage, he's generally the smartest of the group. He just happens to be insanely lazy, commenting more than once that a battle would go their way if they all actually fought instead of just standing by to let Red Mage get mauled, and not acting on it because it's too much effort.
But for Me, It Was Tuesday: When Sarda (rightfully) accuses him of slaughtering his parents, breaking his mind with a glimpse of his face, killing his foster family, killing his other foster family, and burning down his orphanage, Black Mage still can't seem to recall the exact set of events being referred to, and asks when he did it.
Butt Monkey: To the point where the universe itself is geared to hurt him.
Card-Carrying Villain: He makes no attempt to present himself as anything other than evil, makes absolutely no excuse for mass-murder and destruction, and he's damn well proud of it. Red Mage and Thief tend to be just blind to morality and ethical standards, but Black Mage can very easily see the moral dilemma of a problem, and he may even argue about the validity of it. ... Of course, he only identifies it so he can go in the completely opposite direction.
Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: Not only does he betray the rest of the team when given a chance, but he also frequently stabs them in the back (or head) literally - especially Fighter.
Fake Ultimate Hero: All of the Light Warriors qualify, but Black Mage really takes the cake, stabs the cake, urinates on whatever's left, poisons it, gives it to an orphanage, and then Hadokens said orphanage for good measure. A full list of his atrocities would probably double the size of this page. At least.
For the Evulz: The reason for nearly everything he does in the series.
Freudian Excuse: Subverted. Technically he has one, in that the excessive amount of power that exists in his soul has driven him insane (confirmed in-universe)... but he realises this at one point, ignores it, and continues to go on to do so many evil things that there is literally no justification for what he's done.
Genre Savvy: Very much so. Unfortunately for him, he's not Genre Savvy enough when it comes to Sarda.
And here are some other things that have suffered his wrath.
Hidden Depths: He has moments like these when the audience realizes he has a vast swamp of rather uncomfortable emotional turmoil. And he has moments like these which could count as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. However, they often come on the heels of moments like these which clearly favor him for the post of anthropomorphic personification of all Evil. He's still a Jerk With A Heart Of Jerk...Maybe.
Humanoid Abomination: There's something...wrong with whatever is under his hood. Sarda claims it is "the dread lattice of Black Magic."
I Love the Dead: Once expressed willingness to have sex with White Mage's dead body, considering it only slightly less ideal than having sex with her while alive. He did have sex with the corpse of his own doppleganger.
He has a lot of trouble hitting the right target with his Hadokens. "HOW DO YOU MISS A VOLCANO?!". (Though he doesn't mind too much as long as something dies.)
He managed to briefly take over Hell after being killed by Lich, then came back to the land of the living to kill Lich. This eventually backfired on him, as Lich in turn took over Hell in his absence and then brought Black Mage back to life... thus demoting him from the position of the all-powerful Hell King back to that of the universe's favourite Chew Toy.
That said, after Lich manages to bar Black Mage from Hell by getting him stuck on the corporeal plane, a lot of very powerful Eldritch Abominations make sure to keep him out of hell (such that whenever he dies, a God of Evil sends him right back to the overworld). If Black Mage ever gets back there, which he is still conspiring to do, the universe wouldn't be around for much longer (or it would, but it wouldn't be a nice place to exist). Let's just say this: there is a reason why all the legions of Hell were terrified of him.
Love Makes You Dumb: On a good day, he's smarter than Thief. Introduce anger or a proximity to White Mage, and his IQ and sanity will plummet so fast you'll swear you just witnessed it exceeding the speed of light.
The Odd Couple: And no, not in that way (okay, mostly not that way...) with Fighter. No matter how many times he attempts to or successfully kills Fighter, they're still together, even three years after Chaos is defeated... probably so he can still make Fighter suffer, but it never works out that way.
Comic 486 is the only time he ever shows anything remotely resembling compassion, and it's never brought up again.
After coming back from Hell and killing Lich, he couldn't bring himself to disillusion Fighter who believed he came back from Heaven. This being Black Mage, to say it's a sign of compassion would be saying too much, but still...
Ping Pong Naďveté: He can be the smartest of the Light Warriors, barely smarter than Fighter (if not dumber than Fighter) or somewhere in between, depending on what makes for a better joke at the moment. In particular, his intelligence seems to rapidly decrease the closer White Mage is to him.
The Plan: A Dangerously Genre Savvy one he set up at the Citadel of Ordeals, where he knew he would have to "face his flaws"; as per the typical physical manifestation of fantasy metaphors, he would therefore have to kill off his evil side. Considering that there was no way in hell he was going to get rid of all of his evil, he managed to rig the situation so that after killing his evil side, he would re-inherent all the evil. It's a real pity that he has never attributed so much forethought to plans that could in anyway benefit the world. Not that he'd ever want to benefit the world.
Power at a Price: His own power seems to come at the price of his sanity and morality. However, he isn't opposed to using other people's lives or sanity to get access to more power. Remember howhe got theHadoken?
Power Limiter: If Black Mage finally manages to get rid of his mortal body, he'll no longer have his Restraining Bolt in place and hence be able to use his full powers without limit. That is a ridiculous amount of power, and the universe seems to have wisened up enough to this to try to make sure it doesn't happen.
The Power of Love: Parodied; his Hadoken is powered by love. And by powered, we mean it uses it as a fuel: every time he casts it the amount of love in the universe decreases, and the divorce rate increases.
Psycho for Hire: as long as you can point him in the right direction and get out of the disaster zone, you can invade and destroy an entire country single-handedly. As Thief found out with the poor Dwarf nation.
Redemption Equals Sex: Discussed. He strongly suggests to White Mage that this might work on him but then fears that pillow talk might be involved.
Sanity Slippage: goes up and down the insane slope like a yo-yo. The way it works is this: if he's (relatively) sane, he will be Genre Savvy, smarter than Thief, and generally the level of violence will be restricted to a comparative minimum (or at the very least will be efficient); if he's gone down the insane slope, his IQ will reduce massively, he will lose all ability to reason, and carnage will ensue. Lots of carnage. With blood.
Vitriolic Best Buds: With Fighter. Or, rather, Fighter is this with him. Black Mage wants nothing to do with Fighter.
Walking Wasteland: The evil "mindless destruction is fun" kind. Sometimes it'll be limited to just stabbing someone repeatedly until they die. Sometimes he's a Walking Disaster Area and bad things just continuously happen in his vicinity (usually to him). Sometimes, he'll just Hadoken something that annoys him a lot. In any case, his violence is usually indiscriminate and completely arbitrary (much like some kind of natural disaster... a sadistic natural disaster). However, if Thief decides he wants to target something, he'll use Black Mage to horrifyingly direct ends. Remember the Dwarf nation? Nuff said.
Witch Species: He's an Inherent Gift Magician whose face is a bastardization of non-euclidian geometry so mind destroying that even seeing it drives you insane. This trope might fit, but then again...
With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: He's a nexus for the ley lines in reality and has the lowest sanity tolerance ever. Being born like this, his incredible power has warped his sanity considerably over the years, making morality seem increasingly irrelevant to him. Having an insane Ax Crazy maniac running around with the forces of creation at his finger tips was probably not the best idea ever.
The stupidest member of the Light Warriors, as well as the Token Good Teammate and their frontline warrior. Has moments of clarity which imply a college-level education and the required sanity.
Berserk Button: Fighter will not tolerate the idea of someone talking about purposely harming Black Mage. Not even if that person is his ally. Which stopped both Red Mage and Thief from their idea. When Black Mage was killed by Lich, Fighter reacted... poorly.
Fighter: Get up, Lich. I'm not through hurting you yet. Lich: You have no idea the forces at work here, boy. If death himself cannot take me, what makes you think you can? Fighter:I SAID GET UP!
Brown Note: Of sorts. Listening to Fighter talk can reduce the intelligence of anyone nearby. Known victims are Red Mage, Black Mage, and possiblyDrizz'l. It has the opposite effect on Chaos.
Red Mage: Oh dear. I think it's finally happened. Years of exposure to Fighter's, shall we say, point of view, has left Black Mage a spluttering vegetable.
Childhood Brain Damage: Black Mage asks Fighter whether he was dropped on his head a lot as a child, to which Fighter answers, "Maybe..." This is immediately followed by a flashback to Fighter's childhood, with young Fighter exclaiming how happy he is to have power lines in his back yard and plenty of paint chips to eat.
Fighter: Don't lie to the poor lady, RM. You know exactly who we are and we don't look innocent at all. All I'd trust those two jokers with is a stab in the back and then the throat. And you wear a mask. I look okay and seem honest, but as far as she knows, it's an elaborate act. A ruse that works so well my own friends could never suspect - never consider - the evil I inflict upon innocents wheresoever we go. Red Mage: He's just kidding of... of course...
When it comes to swords, he's an innately talented genius. When it comes to non-sword related matters, his mind is a vast ocean filled with strange and paradoxical creatures that should never have made it past the design stage of evolution.
Horrible Judge of Character: He believes that Black Mage is his friend and that he's just a misunderstood helper rather than evil incarnate; Red Mage is a genius; Thief is a good leader with their best interests at heart and, in general, that the Light Warriors are heroes.
Made of Iron: How else would he survive being stabbed in the head by Black Mage all these times?
Meta Guy: In a very much Cloud Cuckoo Lander fashion. He usually serves as a counterpoint to Black Mage's snark. They both can get dangerously close to leaning on the fourth wall.
Nightmare Fetishist: Apparently, he considers every monster the Light Warriors encountered to be cute, or at least nice - including Chaos himself. It's hinted that this is the reason why he hangs out with Black Mage.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: Will say this with utter conviction and (probably) lack of any kind of sarcasm. This is usually followed by Black Mage a) stabbing him, b) being so consumed by Angrish that he is immobilized, or c) using heavy sarcasm that Fighter obviously ignores.
Red Mage Statscowski
Red Mage: Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any given step will have no impact on the macro level. Black Mage: That's so stupid I can't even see straight any more. Red Mage: Now imagine what'll happen when physics tries to figure it out!
The munchkin and "Smart Guy" of the group. He believes the world works by various game rules (especially RPG's). Whether he is right or not depends largely on whether or not it would be funny.
A God Am I: Learned almost "every move in the game" from the Datasphere and planned to dethrone the gods.
An Ice Person: Although he spent a large time trying to keep his spell use "neutral," he eventually started specializing in ice spells, including one that could destroy an entire universe.
Bestiality Is Depraved: He has to explain to a disturbed Black Mage that when he's talking about chocobo sex, he's not talking about sex with chocobos, that when he's talking about breeding the chocobos, he's not talking about breeding with the chocobos, and that when he's taking the matter of breeding into his own hands, he's not literally grabbing the chocobos by their genitals.
Character Alignment: Difficult to pin down, although (like most characters) he probably wasn't made with one in mind anyway. In-universe the man himself claims he is "Lawful Amazing." Suggested to be of Evil alignment here. His Munchkiny actions are often quite Stupid Neutral however. Brian said he went with Lawful because he figured he's dedicated to a code, it just happens that that code is all about breaking the rules, so Neutral Evil seems like a safe bet.
Crazy Enough to Work: Sometimes his plans are so completely insane they actually work. Most of them, however, are just crazy enough to fail hilariously.
Even Evil Has Standards: The comic where Black Mage explains his Hadoken spell works by draining love out of the universe and converting it into destructive energy is part of a trinity where Red Mage writes up "real" versions of signature powers of the Light Warriors for use in Dungeons & Dragons (it's the third, after Fighter's Zodiackenshido and his own Ice-9). The last panel is the Hadoken's "statblock" incomplete and scribbled over, with a note from Red Mage that some things are too horrible to contemplate in the spot left blank.
Red Mage: All it required was a cocktail of dangerous experimental surgery and a willingness to ignore the unnecessary suffering of perfectly innocent beings. Also, I shot magic into their chromosomes until they turned inside out. Evolution is my bitch.
The Strategist: Although most of his plans are somewhat hindered by such minor things as: The Laws Of Physics, Common Sense, Black Mage, Basic Logic, their own brain-breaking insanity, the incompetence of his cohorts, his own incompetence, Black Mage, a lack of proper equipment, a lack of regard for any kind of rationality, Fighter's stupidity, his ownstupidity, being needlessly overcomplicated to the point of madness, Black Mage, his tenous grasp on reality, King Steve...that being said, he still pulls off a good one every now and then. See Crazy Enough to Work.
Small Name, Big Ego: Seems to genuinely believe that he's a 'fractactical genius', and loves to brag about it.
Black Mage:[seeing Thief with an enormous bag of loot] Didn't the pirates take everything already? Thief: They left everything that was nailed down. I did not.
The Miser Advisor of the Light Warriors, who constantly scams the rest of the team out of any rewards they might have earned. He also became The Leader due to similar wrangling.
Bad Boss / Mean Boss: Let his law-ninja die of starvation because he was too much of a miser to buy food for them. He's also this for the rest of the Light Warriors, as he constantly steals from them, tricks them into signing manipulative contracts, makes them do countless humiliating and/or life-threatening things for him, and physically abuses them.
Badass Normal: Does the physically impossible without any magic or the power of stupidity and manages to do so much with fineprint or justwithwords.
Dangerously Genre Savvy: When it comes to politics, schemes and contracts he can bind anyone across the scale from Chaotic Good to Chaotic Evil onto a piece of paper. That or rob them blind.
Even Evil Has Standards: Both he and Red Mage were disgusted by Black Mage's plan to make White Mage drink what was most likely a paint thinner and then rape her (alive or dead).
Evil Genius: Truly deserving of his status as Magnificent Bastard, he can manipulate and swindle anyone into doing anything. For one thing, he manages to keep Black Mage on a leash (because if he doesn't, Black Mage becomes an uncontrollable Eldritch Abomination that even terrifies the demons from Hell), and he screwed with Red Mage's head to turn him into a cross-dresser. For the Evulz of course.
Hoist by His Own Petard: Matoya and Raven use his legal trickery to their advantages, but they end up flogging themselves.
Impossible Thief: Among other things, he can steal secrets, souls, resolve, childhood memories, and most famously, his ninja class abilities from the future. One of the only things he apparently can't steal are things that are both nailed down and on fire.
Kid with the Leash: is one of the few individuals that can control Black Mage and channel his destructive impulses to a common goal (...most of the time).
Suspiciously Specific Denial: Via a Freudian Slip "Do you have any idea why every impoverished clump of hovels you people call towns are so impoverished, clumped, filthy, and hoveled?... Neither do they! So let's move before they catch on to me... Er...It. Because it's certainly not me." Lampshaded by Black Mage: "Saying that only makes me suspect you more."
Warriors of Darkness
Group as a Whole
Garland: We have failed to enact any significant revenge against the hated Light Warriors. Vilbert: Point of order: Nuh-uh! Bikke: Yar. Ye slam o' poetry be as significant as a pee in the ocean. Drizz'l: It's what we're all thinking.
The theoretical antagonists of the comic, they are even less competent than the Light Warriors, and significantly less evil. They spend most of their time involved in "evil" bake sales.
Fake Ultimate Hero: In the penultimate strip White Mage makes everyone believe that the Dark Warriors were the ones who defeated Chaos and saved the world.
Garland: You will pay for your insolence, princess. For when I summon the dark lord Chaos to do my bidding, my very first uh... bid will be to hurrrrrt you. Hurrrrt you! Princess Sara: What're you gonna have him do? Poke me in the ribs? Garland:Oh heavens no. I'm nefarious, not cruel.
The first Big Bad of the comic...in theory. In practice, he's such a Harmless Villain that the princess he kidnapped takes over his operation in order to inject some competence. Becomes the leader of the Dark Warriors when the group is formed.
Card-Carrying Villain: Even though he's probably the least evil character of them all.
Speech Bubbles: Starts off as black-on-grey, then standard black-on-white, then white-on-black, and finally settles on red-on-black. Lampshaded as him working on his evil voice.
The prince of the dark elves, he eventually becomes the Only Sane Man of the Dark Warriors.
The Beastmaster: Tends to rely on monsters (the giant spiders, camel spider, platypus, random encounters in the Temple, and the Fiends). Likely a Ranger/Fighter, being a Drizzt ripoff.
Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: Becomes prevalent in his interactions with Thief and the other Dark Warriors towards the end. Needless to say, his elven royalty shows.
Giant Spiders: His minions prior to becoming a Dark Warrior.
Heel Face Revolving Door: Joins the Light Warriors, wants to return to the Dark Warriors but teams up with Thief to backstab everyone, but is then forced to rejoin the Dark Warriors.
A fearsome pirate of the seven seas who knows nothing about piracy or seas—or anything else, for that matter.
Ambidextrous Sprite: Though it's entirely probable that he has two perfectly healthy eyes and intentionally moves his eyepatch when he turns.
Bad Boss: Killed his crew by feeding them Cheetos when they were suffering scurvy rather than oranges. Not out of stupidity, but so he wouldn't have to share the booty.
The Ditz: Easily tops both Fighter and King Steve in this regard.
Hook Hand: After believing himself to have one, Vilbert eventually gives him a prop one.
Rule Of Cool: He explicitly states that despite being a vampire, sunlight doesn't harm him simply because his death should "be more interesting than that."
Speech Bubbles: Black text and outlines with a red gradient background.
Heinz Hybrid: He's apparently 50% elf, 25% human and 12.5% orc. The remaining 12.5% is unknown, but presumably also human. Bizarrely, in his introduction, he claims to be half-elven and half-human. Later he says he's a half-elven ranger who is a quarter Lefeinish (human) and a quarter half-orc. This puts him anywhere from 112.5% to 125%, depending on what the other half of the half-orc is.
Berserker Axinhed
Just because I fly into a blind, homocidal rage at the tip of a helm doesn't mean I'm incapable of appreciating the finer things in life.
A dapper and polite gentlemanly dwarf who also flies into frothing rage in combat.
Berserk Button: Taking off his monocle, but since it works when he takes it off himself, his berserk button can be whatever he wants it to be.
Well look at that, another beautiful miracle. If it weren't for my atheism, I'd be impressed by it.
The atheist cleric of the Other Warriors, who gets spells from all the gods at once, since they know he doesn't play favorites.
Agent Scully: Despite being a priest capable of calling down miracles from any of dozens of gods. This leads to his undoing.
The Chick: More sensible than Ranger and Berserker, and kinder than Rogue.
Dumbass Has a Point: As completely stupid as it is to be both a cleric and an atheist, he makes a compelling point that it prevents him from seeming like he has favorites or is a suck-up.
Co-Dragons: For Chaos, though only Muffin is an actual dragon.
Elemental Embodiments: Really only Kary. Lich is more of an elemental antithesis (and embodiment of death), whereas it's an entirely Informed Ability for Ur and Muffin.
Knights Of Cerebus: Lich and Kary play this straight, and Ur and Muffin subvert it.
Lich
Death is the natural state of all being. Life is the aberration. It is fleeting, and full of pain. Come, embrace the eternity in nothing!
A several hundred thousand year old archmage who achieved immortality in undeath and guards the Earth Orb. Also Vilbert's father.
Badass Boast: Loves to do this even more than the other villains.
Charm Person: Uses "creepy undead mind control" to prevent his wives from cheating on him. Try not to focus too much on the creepy...
Look, I haven't killed anything in about three minutes, so my patience is nil at this point.
The Elemental Embodiment of Fire, guardian of the Orb of Fire, and one of the stupidest creatures on the planet.
Attention Deficit... Ooh, Flammable!: As demonstrated by the above quote, getting her to stop incinerating everything and everyone and pay attention is a bit of a challenge.
Dragoon: Muffin is a dragon. It all makes sense now. Like, when I'd say 'Polly want a cracker?" she'd say "No, Muffin want to rip a knight in half and suck out the pulp. Thief: That kind of thing happen often? Dragoon: Around here it does.
Supposedly the last dragon, and one of near godlike power. She played the part of Dragoon's pet parakeet, both to avoid suspicion and because she thought it was funny. Also acts as the guardian of the Air Orb.
Hoist by His Own Petard: Creating an order of knights designed solely to slay dragons really comes back to bite her.
Last of His Kind: Almost. Red Mage points out that they've met dragons other than her, and she grudgingly acknowledges that she didn't quite manage to kill all of the others.
Superior Species: Sure thinks she is. Manages to out-do even elves in terms of racial arrogance.
We Can Destroy Together: Briefly allies with Black Mage before tricking him into getting off of her while flying in the middle of the sky.
Others
White Mage
The begrudging ally of the Light Warriors, dedicated to pushing them onto the path of destiny whether they like it or not.
Already Done For You: Kills Chaos while the Light Warriors were stalling for time to think of a way out of it.
Logic Bomb: Convinced Chaos that a universe without Order would still lead to Order. Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking And that it would be boring. Then zapped him with enough White Magic to kill a vile dark god of chaotic energy]].
Morality Pet: Averted. Black Mage may have an humongous crush on her, but her presence isn't enough to prevent him from being evil. At most, he tries to be evil without her noticing.
The most powerful mage in existence, he is older than the universe itself. In theory, he's supposed to guide the Light Warriors to their destiny. In practice, he just uses his omnipotence to screw with them.
Ascended Extra: Everyone is, but he is the comic's Most Triumphant Example. In all editions of Final Fantasy I, Sarda/Sadda is just a hermit who gives the heroes a rod to get past the Earth Cave. In 8-bit Theater, he is so much more.
Unless you countthe Light Warriors themselves, as he is responsible for setting everything in motion. Besides, he's nearly as nasty as Black Mage, regularly abusing his power, screwing with Ranger for no reason and with the entire town of Onrac just to get revenge on White Mage. He even inadvertently killed Onion Kid's - AKA his own - adoptive parents when he was doing it. All because he can.
You could say he takes the place of Garland, the Big Bad from the source material, being a character scarred by the Light Warriors in the beginning, involved in a time-loop plot, planning on the Light Warriors to complete their quest, and becoming the vessel for Chaos. They're even both fought in the Temple of Fiends.
Dangerously Genre Savvy: Smart enough to know that when crafting spells, make sure they can't be used against you. When Black Mage learns blue magic, he mimics two spells from Sarda: a spell to make someone puke out his own insides, and a spell to re-write reality according to his whim. When Black Mage tries to use them against Sarda, he finds out the spells were: "Make Black Mage puke out his insides" and "Re-write reality according to Sarda's whim."
Freudian Excuse: He's such an asshole because Black Mage made his past self's life miserable. This is cancelled out because he didn't do anything to fix it, though Word Of God suggests he couldn't.
From Nobody to Nightmare: He was originally the Onion Kid, a nobody who Black Mage accidentally orphaned multiple times.
Black Belt:You try walking a straight line without bumping into wave functions of neighboring realities. Black Mage: We do it all the time. It's called NOT BEING SO STUPID THAT IT WARPS THE UNIVERSE!
White Mage's companion, and stupider even than fighter.
Put on a Bus: But comes Back for the Finale and, unlike the countless cameos within said finale, he's actually the sixth most prominent character in it.
Running Gag: Invariably lands on Black Mage when jumping.
What an Idiot: In-universe, the other characters call him out on the stupidity of believing that Muffin was a parrot all his life.
King Steve
King Steve: Did I ever tell you about the time I built this castle all by hand? Princess Sara: It's 400 years old, dad. King Steve: Yes, yes. I designed it that way, you know.
Cloudcuckoolander: Hoo boy... He thinks he has invented imagination and eating, that he's running for election despite being a king, and against a lenght of string nonetheless, that a coffee stain on his shirt is his right-hand man... And that's not even the tip of the iceberg.
''I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal."
The Big Bad of the series, an omnicidal God of Evil dedicated to nothing but chaos and destruction...and actually a rather pleasant guy, all around.
Affably Evil: Rather sporting to the Light Warriors and, well, anyone who wants to destroy the world in a "cakeological singularity" can't be all bad.
Anti-Climax Boss: Invoked. Killed offscreen by White Mage and three brand new characters.
Bigger Bad: This IS based on Final Fantasy I after all. "Darko, the Dark God of the Dark" says that all the monsters in the world are "fragments" of Chaos.
Thief: You're not going to have to incest at us first, are you? Cultist 1: No, we don't do that! Cultist 2: Any more! Mrr'grt: As much!
A cult of Cthulhumanoids trying to summon an elder god to destroy the world.
Big Bad Wannabes: Actually got close to ending reality in both of their appearances, but they still pale in comparison to the Fiends, Sarda, and the Light Warriors.
Evil Plan: If the Light Warriors were killed by Drizz'l or the assassins, he would have simply plunged Elf Land into a dark age under his kingship. When the Light Warriors attacked him, he was going to use that to create a civil war.
Talking the Monster to Death: Literally - Red Mage and Black Mage tried to come up with a Pre-Mortem One-Liner before fighting Astos, but they botched it so badly that it ended up killing him.
The people actually destined to save the world from Chaos, they got to the recruiting station a bit too late.
Butt Monkeys: Whenever we see these guys, they're usually getting screwed over.
The Chew Toys: When you consider how they were supposed to be the heroes, their suffering is very disenheartening.
Cosmic Playthings: Even when the Light Warriors aren't screwing them, things rarely work out for these guys.
Evil Counterparts: Inverted; since the Light Warriors are the very definition of Villain Protagonists, they are very heroic. To drive the point home, while the RLWs use character sprites of Fighter, Thief, and Red Mage's upgraded classes from the first Final Fantasy game (Knight, Ninja, Red Wizard, respectively) Black Mage's is a White Wizard.
Missed the Call: They were supposed to be the ones to become chosen by fate, but because they were out level grinding, the main characters got the job.
