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"You're quasi-evil. You're semi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough." — Dr. Evil (to his Genre Savvy son Scott), Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
No, he doesn't kick himself by accident when trying to Kick The Dog. He's a henchman to a Card Carrying Villain who can't quite wrap his mind around card-carrying villainy. As such, they often get confused and do "good" things like saying please or thank you or being kind to the heroes in some way by mistake — and get yelled at for it by their superior if caught. This character type tends to be predicated on the assumption that Rousseau Was Right; theoretically, this so-called "villain" hasn't properly learned how to be bad. Very much played for laughs, and most commonly used in children's shows. They often get a Mook Face Turn at the end of the series, or earlier if their boss is particularly mean with a Help Face Turn. They may also get a The Dog Bites Back moment to go along with it.
Not to be confused with Affably Evil characters, who are evil but polite about it. Certain versions are relatives who the villain generally keeps around, or horrific monsters that turn out to actually be Gentle Giants.
Contrast Harmless Villain, Worthy Opponent, Punch Clock Villain, Reluctant Monster, and Obliviously Evil. See also Poke The Poodle and Good All Along. Frequently hold back a truly terrifying boss due to the Conservation Of Competence.
Examples:
Anime and Manga
- Jama-P in Wedding Peach takes this to its logical extreme. He becomes a Sidekick to the good guys.
- The entirety of the Gedou Otome Tai from Akahori Gedou Hour Rabuge. While they're daughters of low-ranking mooks from an evil organization, their ability to actually do anything evil is zero.
- Shia in Pita-ten is the epitome of this trope; as demon she's not only supposed to do evil, she *has* to do evil, but she always seems to wind up baking cookies for everybody, or cleaning up the apartment she shares with Misha (an angel almost as bad at doing good as she is at doing evil), or just in general being polite, soft-spoken and helpful, much to the exasperation of her demon-adviser in cat form, Nyaa.
- The Great Demon King Exoda Zero Crown (and with a name like that, you'd expect terror) in Shina Dark is feared by those outside of his personal island as some ultimate evil. Meanwhile he, despite being the Demon King and having an Unwanted Harem and the resources of the island to his name...just wants to go fishing or relax. One of the nicest guys around.
- DojiDevil, a one-shot character in the Hot Springs Episode of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki, always on cleaning duty as punishment. She was trying to find whoever was fated to die at the springs (It ended up being a Self Fulfilling Prophecy) so she could steal a soul and gain recognition, but was so touched by them that she spent most of her time cheering them on and trying to help them. She finally sets up a plan to kill them all so the family won't be separated but regrets this almost immediately.
- Shiyu Kusanagi in the X 1999 manga, CD Drama and TV series. What is a Gentle Giant doing in the Dragons of the Earth group?
- Demon God Ifurita in the TV series version of El Hazard. Only the TV series version of Ifurita is like this (she's brunette). The OVA version has white hair, is much more competent, and just has a jerk for a boss.
Film
- Superman movies tend to depend on at least one of Lex Luthor's henchmen being this; Eve Teschmacher (Superman) and Kitty Kowalski (Superman Returns) being the most noteworthy examples.
- Whitey, the large albino rat from Flushed Away, who comes across more as a Gentle Giant than anything.
- Fezzik, from The Princess Bride.
Vizzini: Finish him! Finish him, your way.
Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you, Vizzini... what's my way?
Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock!
Fezzik: My way's not very sportsman-like.
- Zangief from the live action Street Fighter movie probably fits this. He has a Heel Face Turn when someone informs him that Bison is the bad guy.
- It was Deejay. And why was Deejay evil? In his own words "because I'm being paid a damn fortune!".
- Doc Hopper's assistant, Max, from The Muppet Movie warned Kermit about Hopper's plans.
- Administrative Assistant Bob from Demolition Man isn't actively evil... he's just trying to help out whoever is in charge. (It's his job to help, after all.) This is why he can go from working for Doctor Raymond Cocteau to working for Simon Phoenix to working for Edgar Friendly without once ever batting an eye.
Live Action TV
- Garry and Grahame in Maid Marian And Her Merry Men. They're inept to the point Marian and co quite like them when they're not pursuing them on Nottingham's orders.
- The guards in Robin Hood, meanwhile, turn out to have a C- In Evil. They won't obey orders to strike down unarmed peasants during a sit-in, but as soon as it turns into a proper fight they're right back in the game, even though it's still mostly a proper fight with unarmed peasants.
- At least in the early days, TV's Frank in Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
- Sgt. Shultz from Hogans Heroes is often seen a a bumbling underling to Colonel Klink, and unlike most of Those Wacky Nazis, he is willing to turn a blind eye to Hogan and his crew's antics.
- Joxer's first appearance in Xena Warrior Princess had him working for the villain Callisto. Gabrielle pointed out that he just wasn't cut out for evil. He later pulled a Heel Face Turn, becoming an earnest (and somewhat less incompetent) hero.
- Post-vamping, Brainless Beauty Harmony of Buffy The Vampire Slayer wanders into this trope a lot. Most famously when she deeply apologizes for not noticing a "No Smoking" sign. She wants to be evil, but like everything else, she's just really bad at it.
Theater
- Lola from Damn Yankees, who fails miserably at playing her role. Nothing disgusts Applegate more than having The Vamp sympathize with the man she is supposed to seduce.
Video Games
- In fandom, Demyx, the magical sitar player of Organization XIII is either an example of this trope or an incredibly scary and evil Crouching Moron Hidden Badass. In the game itself, he carries cue cards with his mission on them, and his first line is "Run! Run away!"
- 358/2Days expands on this. He now bribes Roxas to do his missions for him and chats gleefully about how being lazy saved him from getting killed at Oblivion.
- Johnny Sasaki in Metal Gear Solid 2 and his identically named and voiced grandfather in Metal Gear Solid 3. While just incompetent in 1, he progressed to the point of making friendly conversation with the people he's on patrol for in 2, and his grandfather even shows family pictures to the people he's guarding. Oddly enough, becomes a major character and Took A Level In Badass in 4.
- The Koopa Kids from the Mario Party games do this from time to time. One would take coins from players, but occasionally would give coins instead, then realize his mistake and leave anyway.
Webcomics
- The Monster in the Darkness from The Order Of The Stick, who manages to spend most of an epic battle scene having a tea party (to be fair, he wasn't asked to do anything to actually help), and constantly fails to grasp the main plan of the villains. He even gets a Crowning Moment Of Heartwarming with a captured paladin which causes one to wonder if he's even trying to be evil.
- He later saves said paladin (named O-chul) and Vaarsuvius from death via ingested meteors. He teleports them away and Xykon doesn't even realize it was The Monster in the Darkness who did it.
- To be honest, we're not even sure if The Monster in the Darkness is aware who did it.
- He is. Now he's trying to repeat the performance so he knows he didn't teleport them somewhere dangerous. He hasn't managed to teleport anyone else anywhere yet, though.
- Though technically the boss, Garland from 8-bit Theater.
- Hell, Arguably fighter is this as well, seeing as he seems to genuinely believe that he and his murderous, sociopathic friends are the good guys.
- The minon in this
 Super Stupor comic; not so much an F in Evil as U for "Ungraded".
- Inverted with Khrima of Adventurers! who despite his Big Bad status keeps forgetting to act villainous. Sometimes his Evil Minions have to remind him.
- During the "That Which Redeems" story arc from Sluggy Freelance, the Dimension of Pain demons start turning people in the Dimension of Lame into demons as well. However, as one demon puts it, "When you start with wussie mortals you get wussie demons."
- Neeg, one of the aliens from A Game of Fools, who is terrfied at the very sight of humans and is repeatedly abused (and, it's implied, much worse) by his Depraved Bisexual superior Gloog eventually ends up betraying him and helping the heroes. Ironically, he then comes to closest out of any of the aliens to actually killing the main characters, but that was more due to his own cowardice than any actual malice.
- Jurinjo from Emergency Exit is amazing at this trope. He helps Eddie buy groceries, delays reporting back from a mission until he eats ice cream and sees a dancing monkey, shows the heroes the location of a Plot Coupon, has doubts about continuing to work for the villain, doesn't want to attack an opponent who seems to be less well armed then he is, is upset when another villain attacks one of the heroes , offers to heal the hero and has to be reminded that villains usually asks for payment, and actually holds up his end of the deal and seems to be making friends with one of the heroes.
- To a lesser degree, Orulla.
- Evil Diva has a character like this in the lead role. She probably is getting a literal F in Evil.
Western Animation
- Kronk from The Emperors New Groove doesn't quite get the villainy thing. Not so useful, since he's Yzma's only henchman.
- Mr. Beastly from The Care Bear Family would often talk his mind into knots in trying to remind himself that "good is bad and bad is good and...".
- Reeka and Draggle from My Little Pony: The Movie. Due to their too-nice bumbling, their mother had a musical number in which she basically asked Why Couldn't You Be Different?
- Lurky, Murky's flunky, from Rainbow Brite.
- Some of Zurg's henchaliens in Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command.
- The Grubs are too dim to be properly evil-when quizzed on what they hate most about Buzz, they say, "I donno. He seems like a pretty nice guy." The Brain Pods are better at it (since their purpose is pretty much to be smart) but the thinking aspect is pretty much all they're good for.
- Stormer on Jem(pictured above); a few episodes even dealt with the fact.
- Hack and Slash from Re Boot, who are dismayed when Bob is lost in the Web and unable to keep them from doing anything really bad, like killing others. Though, considering their level of competence following their Heel Face Turn, they also have an F in Good as well.
- Is there a grade lower than F for Silverbolt before his Heel Face Turn in Beast Wars?
- Senior Senior Jr. on Kim Possible. His father, Senior Senior Sr. took up villainy as a hobby after retiring and often ropes his son into acting as an accomplice in his schemes. Senior Senior Jr. has no interest in villainy and would much rather be a boy-band singer.
- Which may or may not be just as bad depending on your point of view.
- Wingnut, Grizzle's robot minion from Oopsy Does It. Eventually he stands up to his master, as the entire movie was basically one big Help Face Turn.
- Batso from Happily Ever After (the Filmation Snow White sequel).
Radio
- Scumspawn in the BBC Radio 4 comedy series Old Harrys Game. He is a demon, one of Satan's chief minions, and much is made of his disgusting physical appearance. He also donates to donkey sanctuaries, is a supporter of Friends of the Earth, is often exceedingly kind to the damned, and has a chaste but touching love for his master.
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