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Big Prick, Big Problems

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When it comes to the size of a man's private parts, it's often thought that "bigger is better", especially in the bedroom. Often the same is said about women and breasts. However sometimes, just as with breasts, having a larger package can prove problematic. The reason is usually at least one of the following.

  1. Regardless of personal preferences, someone's nethers can only stretch and fit so much; if a guy's penis is too big for his partner's orifices then intercourse will be awkward, physically painful, or even outright impossible.
  2. It assumes that intercourse is all there is to sex, thereby demonstrating certain failures of knowledge and imagination. Some women are unable to climax solely from vaginal stimulation and excessive length may prevent them from receiving the additional vulval and clitoral stimulation they need.
  3. Truly extraordinary size can make it difficult or even impossible to sustain an erection due to blood-flow complications making any degree of performance impossible.
  4. While size can matter to women, girth benefits them more than length, and both take a back seat to technique because female genitals can accept a reasonable range of "inputs." One size does indeed fit all, so long as the "all" knows what they are doing.
  5. Hiding unwanted erections and bulges will be difficult as it will be embarrassing if the public sees an erection that you can't hide. In other cases, a bulge can be so big that it's difficult to hide under your clothes and people may make some wrong assumptions about you.
  6. Buying clothes will also be problematic since you can only buy a certain size, fit, or brand so it doesn't cause any pain, show bulges, or be uncomfortable for the wearer. Wearing speedos, briefs, and shorts will be impossible if your private parts are too big to fit inside.
  7. Size and skill are not the same thing, just because the erection is big doesn't mean you know what you're doing. Partners can be left disappointed by the realistic performance, and privacy will be sacrificed. Men will gawk at you and women will either be overexcited or unsettled by the mere sight of it.
  8. Medically making your penis bigger may seem like a dream come true but the problems outweigh the benefits, as the surgeries will only make it look bigger and not actually make it bigger. The surgeries and injections will only make the penis look bigger at the cost of looking unhealthy and undesirable. Briefly summarised, these surgeries and can involve cutting the ligament to the pubic bone (which will prevent erections from pointing up), using skin tissue from a cadaver, and injections that will leave the penis looking bumpy and lumpy. Other methods have resulted in serious injuries and risks to personal health.

Given the usual view towards dick size, this is usually done comedically, such as a subversion to general thought. However, the idea that penis size is best modest has been present in some cultures, like in Ancient Greece where a large dick size was seen as lustful and hedonistic. If big enough, it might even run the risk of an Out with a Bang scenario.

Sub-trope of Gag Penis and Spear Counterpart to D-Cup Distress. The opposite of Bigger Is Better in Bed, when a large package is preferable. Contrast Teeny Weenie, when the lack of size is problematic.



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     Anime and Manga 
  • Interspecies Reviewers: In the core group of Interspecies Reviewers it's the angel Crimvael who has the largest size (along with some other anatomy), which given his dorky nature he's embarrassed by. Given his job is to review different brothels, the size can prove a hindrance; he is outright refused entry by the fairy brothel because he's too big to be compatible with even the largest fairy.
  • Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt: This proves to be problematic for Brief when he has sex with Panty. Because of how large his dick is, it ends up being a painful experience for her. Admittedly part of that was also due to her hymen being restored.
  • Lady Snowblood: Genjiro's entire motivation for his criminal schemes is so he can buy a boat ticket to Europe where white prostitutes won't be scared away by his size (or so he hopes).

     Comic Books 
  • Downplayed with Vasily "Vas" Vorishkin" in The Boys. He's known as the Love Sausage because of "fifteen inches of sheer dynamite", and is generally chummy and unbothered with his package. However, it still proves problematic as the blood that went to his erection when chasing one of Little Nina's henchmen through a strip club stops him in his tracks. It also looks somewhat awkward in his skin-tight superhero suit.
  • The Internship: Emery and Andy's first attempt at sex is aborted when Emery's largeness proves too painful for Andy. As a result, they resolve to start over with Emery on the receiving end.
  • Played for horror in The Punisher MAX: During "The Naked Kill" arc, Frank ends up investigating and hunting down a group of Human Traffickers making Snuff Films. The "star" is Eleventhree, who gets that name from his length while flaccid. When erect he's so big that he literally rapes women to death.

     Films — Live-Action 
  • Bedazzled (2000): Defied when Elliot makes his fourth wish with a Jackass Genie. Because his third wish gave him a Teeny Weenie as a side effect, he takes care to specify that he become well-endowed, but reasonably so.
  • A plot point in A Chinese Torture Chamber Story: the protagonist has such an impossibly large penis that no woman will have sex with him. He's also a very nice guy, so he refuses to force his arranged wife to take it. Eventually, the size of his genitals and what happens to them are the single most important plot point. It's a very weird movie.
  • In-universe example; Full Metal Jacket has a Vietnamese hooker not wanting to have sex with a black Marine because she's worried it's too big for her. He demonstrates it isn't.
  • Lady Snowblood: When the blackmailer Genjiro reveals his gigantic penis, the reaction from Oyuki, the title character, is not adulation, but horror. He is aware of the implications of his large penis, noting that one that large will usually cause the receiving woman serious pain. (In the manga, it was made clear that Oyuki was a lesbian.)
  • In Magic Mike XXL, Big Dick Richie's arc revolves around the fact he can't find a woman who can handle his, well, big dick. He laments that as a result of his huge penis, he hasn't had actual sex in months. The culmination of his arc is meeting a MILF who can handle said big dick.
  • Gender-inverted in Mean Girls. A girl mentions she got in the Burn Book for "lying about [her] virginity" since she uses jumbo tampons, but she claims it's really an unfortunate combination of having a naturally wide vagina and heavy flow.
  • In the Van Wilder sequel, one of Taj's dorm mates is apparently eleven inches. While women are certainly interested, the guy himself mentions that getting an erection causes so much blood to flow away from his head that he has trouble thinking or speaking.

  • In Burnt-Njal's Saga, the longest of The Icelandic Sagas, the plot begins with a man being cursed by an angry ex to have an erection so large that he can no longer comfortably have sex with anybody.
  • I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream: The sadistic supercomputer AM turns the vain Benny into a hideous ape-like creature to mock him. One of the additions was giving him an enormous member, as part of making him primeval. While Ellen doesn't seem to mind, as AM forcibly changed him from being a gay man this is yet another sadistic mind game.
  • Subverted in the book The Godfather by Sonny Corleone, who finds a Distaff Counterpart in Lucy Mancini, a woman whose vagina is also overly large. When Sonny's wife finds out he's cheating on her, she's actually relieved that she doesn't have to have as much sex with him anymore. This plot is Adapted Out of the movie except for a brief Continuity Nod that shows Sonny's wife visually describing to some friends the size of 'equipment.
  • In the classic Russian erotic poem Luka Mudischev by Ivan Barkov, the title character is a sexually-frustrated Impoverished Patrician whose 14 inch-long penis denies him any kind of romantic liaison, at least, until an equally frustrated merchant widow takes an interest in him. Unfortunately, Luka's tool immediately proves too much even for her, leading to both of them suffering rather ignoble deaths.
  • Ren Zha Fan Pai Zi Jiu Xi Tong: whereas in the original version of Proud Immortal Demon Way played Bigger Is Better in Bed straight, Shen Yuan mocked the author for his "elementary school-level" understanding of sex. When Shen Yuan as Shen Qingqiu has sex with Luo Binghe, the latter's large size and inexperience make the experience very painful and unpleasant. This is part of the greater Reality Ensues that a man with a large penis and no sexual experience might not be automatically good at sex.
  • These Words Are True and Faithful: Not only has Ernie often been denied sex precisely because he is so well hung, but also, as a secondary character points out, his large penis does nothing for his emotional maturity.
  • Earth's Children, the Ice Age travelogue cum Romance Novel, uses this to characterize the male Love Interest. Jondalar's Biggus Dickus is such a plot point that a Fan Nickname for him is "Dongalar," but he learned early that his size could prove uncomfortable to the receiver, and has spent his life having to hold back. Part of the justification Ayla being his One True Love is her Unique Protagonist Asset of being the first person with sufficient, err, capacity to accept him fully.

     Live-Action TV 
  • In Sex and the City, Samantha briefly dates a man with this issue. He purposely seeks Samantha because of her reputation for being sexually adventurous, but this proves too much even for her.
  • In the series Testees, two slackers make money by testing new drugs for a pharma company. The pilot episode sees one of them take a pill that causes him to massively enhance his penis size... to the point that he needs a blood transfusion to get an erection.

     Mythology And Religion 
  • Classical Mythology: Having an oversized penis was often characterized as a sign of absurdity, and being a slave to lust. The god known for large penis size, Priapus, was a comical figure and ironically impotent, and the well-endowed satyrs are depicted as primitive beings often distracted by their own sex drive. While centaurs had typical sizes for their horse bodies, the large members of their horse bodies were seen as another indicator of their rowdy, lustful nature.

     Video Games 
  • In Summertime Saga, this is an attribute of the Main Character and gets him a lot of attention, some of which he might prefer not to have or would seek to opt out of. For one thing, the bulge is hard to conceal in situations where this is inappropriate, and this can cause embarrassment. It also results in his sexual objectification, as some "dates" see not so much teenage boy as a penis with a teenage boy attached.

  • Oglaf: A rather absurd example in "The Yoke" when a proposed "cock tax" causes all the well-endowed people to rebel and demand an end to their oppression, which includes "pleasuring size queens" and cock puppet shows, which are Exactly What It Says on the Tin.
  • Something*Positive: Jason is stated to be well endowed enough that some of his past girlfriends refused to have sex with him. Fortunately, his eventual wife Aubrey has no problem with it.

     Web Original 
  • In Space Beasts, this is one of the reasons that most interspecies couples are human boy/humanimal girl. Bill, for example, is a little nervous about having sex because of a particularly bad Bedmate Reveal he suffered in his past (he got drunk and accidentally killed his partner). Kate also reminisces about a very well-endowed Shetland Pony Humanimal and the troubles she had with him, which makes Ichabod (who remembers Marzipan making an offhand comment about Ichabod's penis size) rather alarmed. Bill tells him not to worry.
  • Virgin vs. Chad: Both Chad and his even better counterpart, Thad, are portrayed with sizable bulges, Thad's being even bigger, as one of the ways they're manlier and cooler than the Teeny Weenie Virgin. However, Lad, being an exaggeration of Chad to the point of being grotesque, has an unnaturally and inhuman-sized bulge. This typically prevents him from even having sex and is so heavy he's sometimes depicted needing to carry it with a wheelbarrow, and along with unwieldy muscles it's one of the ways he's depicted worse than the Virgin despite being further on the Chad scale.

     Western Animation 
  • In an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Carl uses the enlarge function of Frylock's shrink ray to give himself an absurdly large penis, to the extent that he asks Frylock for a wheelbarrow to carry it out, and giant STD crabs start jumping out of it and flooding the house.
  • In the South Park episode "Erection Day", Jimmy has a nightmare that he has a giant boner at the school talent show. Everyone in the audience mocks him because of this.


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